violetsvip posts
Posts: 480
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Yesterday, the custodian pulled me aside as I was leaving th..
Yesterday, the custodian pulled me aside as I was leaving the office and asked me to smoke a lil' with her. She’s smokin hot, but I had to say no because I refuse to be around *high-maintenance people* ;)
What's the difference between a Vegan and a Vegetarian? *O..
What's the difference between a Vegan and a Vegetarian? *One of them won't swallow.*
How can you tell a girl ghost from a boy ghost? Boooooooobs..
How can you tell a girl ghost from a boy ghost? Boooooooobs & Booooooooty!
Good morning! 💜 I'm heading out of town with some friends- ..
Good morning! 💜 I'm heading out of town with some friends- so **I Won't Be Online** for a Few Days! DMs & Feed posts are scheduled as usual *(Though on a new schedule starting Oct 1st)* Any Videos Tipped for via Campaign Contributions will be sent out when I return on OCTOBER 4th! See ya! 💋
🔔 **MAKE SURE YOU'RE OPENING THE DMS** 🔔 😈 ***THATS WHERE TH..
🔔 **MAKE SURE YOU'RE OPENING THE DMS** 🔔 😈 ***THATS WHERE THE GOOD STUFF GOES!*** 😈
I like my men how I like my coffee... *Extremely hot and ca..
I like my men how I like my coffee... *Extremely hot and capable of severely injuring my throat* 🥵
My neighbour is pretty mad at his wife for sunbathing comple..
My neighbour is pretty mad at his wife for sunbathing completely nude- Personally, *I'm on the fence* 👀
If time traveling was common, what historic event would be a..
If time traveling was common, what historic event would be a tourist magnet? The birth of Jesus- *All the hotels in the area would be fully booked!*
I tried making pancakes... But I ended up with flapjacks ins..
I tried making pancakes... But I ended up with flapjacks instead. *I guess I used too much synonym*
I’m making a comic book about a superhero toilet. *Billiona..
I’m making a comic book about a superhero toilet. *Billionaire bidet, crime fighter by night.*
What do you call it when a physician corrects your punctuati..
What do you call it when a physician corrects your punctuation? *A medically induced comma.*
I have a rampant rabbit sex toy. It's not my favourite, but ..
I have a rampant rabbit sex toy. It's not my favourite, but it's up there... 😉
Why do elephants have four feet? *Because eight inches isn't..
Why do elephants have four feet? *Because eight inches isn't enough.*
The path to inner peace begins with just 3 words- Not my pro..
The path to inner peace begins with just 3 words- Not my problem 😌
Queso is the perfect food for socialists.... 'cause everybod..
Queso is the perfect food for socialists.... 'cause everybody chips in!
Famed pirates Anne Bonny and Mary Read would board ships wit..
Famed pirates Anne Bonny and Mary Read would board ships with their tits out to distract and intimidate enemy sailors. *It had no effect on their own crew because pirates only care about booty!*
A co-worker is in the hospital after eating a giant bacon ch..
A co-worker is in the hospital after eating a giant bacon cheeseburger- It was mine. 💪😠
You should throw a surprise bukkaky-party for your wife… Sh..
You should throw a surprise bukkaky-party for your wife… She’ll be so excited everyone came! Just wait till you see her face!
What is it called when Batman gets an erection? *The Dark Kn..
What is it called when Batman gets an erection? *The Dark Knight Rises*
Why the fuck does pornhub even have a share to google+ butto..
Why the fuck does pornhub even have a share to google+ button..? I don't want anyone to know I have a google+ account...
Where to Canadian alcoholics go to sober up? Eh Eh
Where to Canadian alcoholics go to sober up? Eh Eh
My life is like a box of chocolates- *Full of nuts!*
My life is like a box of chocolates- *Full of nuts!*
I like my sex life like how I like my video games- **MMORPG..
I like my sex life like how I like my video games- **MMORPG** 😜
If I bring you breakfast in bed, just say, "Thanks." Not "W..
If I bring you breakfast in bed, just say, "Thanks." Not "Who are you?" and "How did you get in my apartment?!"
If your grandparents covered their furniture in plastic- it ..
If your grandparents covered their furniture in plastic- it was because your grandmother was a squirter. 💦
The guy who invented Sudoku actually really hated numbers- ..
The guy who invented Sudoku actually really hated numbers- He just wanted to put them in their place. 😈
I can't decide if I want to watch the original Star Trek of ..
I can't decide if I want to watch the original Star Trek of The Next Generation... I guess you could say I'm stuck between a Spock and a Picard place! Haha I'm just kidding- Picard is Daddy! I will always choose Picard 😍
The submarine sandwich shop by my work had moved to a new lo..
The submarine sandwich shop by my work had moved to a new location and was replaced with an adult sex shop. I didn't realize it until one day I walked in and asked for a 12-inch salami on an Italian.
I’m hosting a charity for men struggling to ejaculate- If y..
I’m hosting a charity for men struggling to ejaculate- If you can’t come let me know
Most people enjoy a day off on Labour Day- except for fire… ..
Most people enjoy a day off on Labour Day- except for fire… Fireworks on Labour Day 💥
