*I've had this post in my drafts since Oct (which is why I'm..
🕑 Added 2022-04-29 14:20:23 +0000 UTC
*I've had this post in my drafts since Oct (which is why I'm mentioning the mini stroke as happening recently), but it really felt like the right time to share this. I keep getting clobbered with some flare or life shit after another and it feels like I haven't been functional since the shoot. Not being able to get enough of my meds has been really messing with me and I'm doing my best to remember my body has had a rly rough couple of weeks and its understandable there are some repercussions (however maddingly frustrating they may be).
My bad flares also lined up terribly with Rue having to take some time off so I wasn't able to get the extra help with the executive function side of things and it easily falls apart from there... the extra layer of not being able to finish the caticorn shoot that everyone worked so hard on is mildly soul killing as well of course (ssh brain just keep swimming) anyway my point is I know this flare wont last forever. I watch this video and I tell myself I will have a moment like that again soon. Even though I am beyond exhausted I can't give up. I have to keep fighting to get to my next moment of joy tho things seem bleak now. I know many of you are also going through rough times and I hope this p;ost brings you a smile and a reminder not to give up and that you're not alone <3*
**feeling slightly more human so Caticorn content coming in the next few days if my health continues to be kind to me, starting with the live out this weekend!**
Here's the original post:
It's hard to feel joy in the moment when everything is so overwhelming and you're struggling to just survive. But if there's any silver lining to this mini stroke it's reminded me that it's even more important to truely emerce yourself in whatever little moments of joy you can eek out and appreciate them no matter how small.
Took this impromptu a couple months ago when I was having a low pain level day and had some music on whilst I was trying to make food. I just suddenly felt the music light up my soul and burn me to move. I wasn't planning on sharing this clip, I just took it just for me so I could remember that joyful feeling when I'm down, or too sick to stand up (let alone move like that), which to be honest is most days hah. So anyhoodles I let my white girl out hard I wasn't trying to dance smexy, just feeling the groove and moving my body in ways it wanted, I hope you can share in this moment w me and it beings a lil light to your day (I mean... I'd say the odd are good bcs... Bobs 👌🏻)
Also for anyone that's new, my functionality varies greatly day to day depending on many factors influencing my disabilities, I get small moments like this very rarely (and they normally cost me a lot of f0rced horizontal recovery time and increased pain levels), most days are a struggle to move, taking be several minutes to just get from one room to another, but that makes these moments even more precious 🥺
