FC Punk
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Out of Control
🕑 Added 2019-07-21 15:01:00 +0000 UTCOut of Control
By FC Punk
How did all this get so out of hand? I ask myself that when I wake up. My name is Christina or Chrissy for short. I am 25 years old and weigh over 600 pounds. That is an awful lot for someone so young. So young...but it’s true. I did it with my own hands and the influence of others. And I regret it. I regret it every day, I wish I could vomit every bite I ever took to get to this enormous size. I’m disgusting, I disgust myself now but it wasn’t always like that.
My huge belly is an enormous globby blob of fat. It covers my lap entirely, extending to my dimpled knees and keeps me overly warm in the summer and not warm enough in the winter. My breasts just hang to the sides, not pretty or attractive, just another flabby appendage of fat. My face is enormous, just a flabby mess with rolls of fat that are my chins, and a mouth and a nose and a pair of green eyes. A mess of hair, long, greasy, I haven’t properly washed my hair in a while. My arms are bloated and engorged, much bigger than loafs of bread, they're like kegs now, they’re just so heavy. I can feed myself just fine with them, but not for very long. After about half an hour of being the dirty disgusting pig I am my arms get tired and I can no longer lift them. I can’t even put my arm to my head anymore, it might smother me and it’s just so tiring to lift them. I have no shoulders anymore, just fat. Fat, fat, fat.
My legs are utterly useless. I ate them away. I haven’t left my apartment in forever. It’s so hard to get around now. I haven’t seen it in a while but my ass is absolutely, hopelessly enormous. White as a ghost. Dimpled. My ass has stretch marks. My thighs wobble like jelly when I waddle, struggling to hold up my gross mass. I need a walker to move properly. An old person’s mobility walker. I was so ashamed when I first needed to use it. These are for old people! But it was then that I realised just how disabled I had let myself become.
How did this get so out of hand? How did I become so obese? The truth is I had always been a fat girl. A shameful fat girl from youth to this grotesque...thing. I don’t even know what I am anymore. Some hog/cow chimera? Or just an ever growing ravenous blob.
I had always been big. I’m part Italian, my family has always had the best kind of food. I remember being a chubby little girl, always looking forward to Friday, because Friday was when we ate big. I love meatballs. I’m positively addicted to them, I’ve eaten some the size of basketballs. Thats how I got to such a repulsive size. I was chubby and plump in elementary and junior high, but I absolutely ballooned in high school.
The other students were so mean to me! They would tape things to my locket, like a picture of a pig. Teased me, mocked me, made me cry. My homecoming date ditched me for my tormentor. By junior year I weighed 300 pounds. I was huge and so depressed when I graduated a year later at 329 pounds. By then I started college and was happy to be away from my hometown and my parents, my mother didn’t help me at all, just criticized me for being a fatty.
The turning point in my life and the one moment I wish never happened was browsing Tumblr. I discovered the BBW scene. Guys loved it! There are guys that love big fat girls and there were tons of fat girls posting pictures of themselves, eating, showing off, some even naked, and not showing one ounce of embarrassment! I was a big fat girl! I could do this too!
I started my own Tumblr and started posting pictures. People loved me! They said I was beautiful! I was so happy I shed a tear. The more popular big girls actually gained weight on purpose, an idea that was appealing to me. I loved to eat and this way I wouldn’t feel so guilty. So I ate. I indulged in all my favorite foods. I ate bad. I ate all the bad things you aren’t supposed to eat. I put salt on everything and used lard instead of vegetable shortening, butter instead of margarine, and constantly gobbled sugary snacks. Junk food, fast food, anything fried really. Even today I eat a pound of bacon every morning.
I would go grocery shopping and fill two carts filled with junk food. I would drive to every fast food chain and fill my car with McDonalds, Taco Bell, Wendy’s, anything greasy and fattening. To my utter shame It turned me on. Shamefully I admit all this turned me on. Eating to excess. Eating more than I should. Being a greedy girl. Being such a fat pig. Oink, oink, oink. Eating like this caused my weight to inflate rapidly, as the scale went up I was in complete ecstasy. The scale was my friend, tell me how beautiful I was becoming. I don’t know what’s bigger, my gluttonous appetite or my libido. I became obsessed with weight gain, eager to eat and grow and reap the pleasurable rewards.
I remember how ecstatic I was when I first touched 400 pounds. After I had made a huge pig of myself all December on the first of January I was 413 pounds. Just knowing I was three times the size I should be was a huge turn on. I can recall just admiring myself in the mirror. Jiggling my belly, my big lardy belly. It felt so good, it felt right. I was a gainer, a star, I was getting so much attention online. I was proud to be a fat girl for once in my life.
The door to my apartment opens and my lover Maddie comes in. She coos at me, asking me how I’m doing while holding a big bag of Wendy’s no doubt holding several double bacon cheeseburgers, a bag of McDonalds containing nothing but McDonalds fries, and a container of four large milkshakes from Dairy Queen. This is my lunch after my breakfast of a pound of bacon this morning. The plate of bacon rested on the ground. We moved my bed into the living room. No point of being secluded in one small room.
The apartment is a real pig pin, somewhat fitting for me. garbage surrounds my bed and the apartment smells musky. It all smells like me and my awful smells. Personal hygiene becomes an issue when you reach my immensity. I tell her I’m doing fine, lying to her. I’m actually incredibly bored just sitting here on my increasingly widening ass. We don’t have a couch, I broke it a long time ago, so my bed acts like it, Maddie cuddles and sleeps with me in it, it’s a king sized bed. I don’t sleep well these days, I snore, Maddie tells me my snoring sounds like piggy snorts which she thinks is cute.
Maddie just smiles down at me, taking out a bacon cheeseburger and unwrapping it. Maddie is the kindest sweetest girl I know and I’m so lucky to have her with me. Because now I am completely helpless on my own. I’m so weak. My poor weak helpless body. I’m practically at her mercy as I look up at her. Maddie has a scar on her face. She was abused by a boyfriend. He would grab her long hair and hurt her. The worst thing he ever did was cut her. He slashed her with a broken beer bottle, got her on her right cheek.
The fucker got put in jail after that and she left him, cutting her hair after her face healed. The Joker from the Dark Knight movie has scars like Maddie’s, except her’s is just on her right side. But as she looks down on me it’s as if she’s always smirking at me. She loves all this, she is such an enabler, my size is directly her doing. I wouldn’t be bed bound if it wasn’t for her.
I don’t remember how big I was when I met her. Was I over 400 then? My memory in relation with my size seems like a blur. I remember what I was doing, but not how large I was, I was fattening so well. But Maddie just blew me up like a parade float, fattened me like a blue ribbon sow. I was so easy in college. Always a guest at the frat house. Always drunk or stoned. Grasping onto guys. I was such a slut, having new found confidence from my internet double life. We had a mutual friend. Back when I had friends, back when I hadn’t eaten them all away. It was at a particular frat party that I met her. She wore her faded jeans and purple top covered by a leather jacket, sporting a cute pixie cut. I’m ashamed to admit, I stared at her scar, it was mesmerizing, she was probably the most unique person here other than me, and I was just the horny fat girl.
We hit it off well enough at first. She really took to how I ate and everything and even encouraged me. We hung out all the time and all the places we went to involved food in some way. After maybe a month of this I opened up to her. I told her everything and how this had changed my life, for the better I thought. She told me how she got her scar, how she really just wanted to love somebody deeply and do everything for them. She then told me how she loved what a fat pig I was. I didn’t even think I was a lesbian before her, but I guess I’m bi-sexual. Maddie fed me so well. She would cook for me or she would order out for tons of pizza or come back with bags of fast food. My growing obesity was so hot to her! She could not stop touching me, feeling me up, exploring my fat. She became a feeder. A total feeder who told me to eat more even when I was so full. I ate past fullness. I became so gluttonous over her. I don’t think I ever took a break from eating except to take a shit, although she found ways for me to eat there too. She would lovingly call me her fat pig and refer to herself as a farmer.
I ballooned under her. My stomach just became this big floppy mass of fat. I was a butterball. I was a fat pig just growing fatter. My boobs kept on outgrowing my bras. I was growing out of my biggest Lane Bryant fat girl jeans. My clothes were gettng filthy by then. I’ve always been kind of a slob, but under Maddie I just lost all grace. My tops had a thing of grease around the collar and the pits were always damp from my sweaty fat girl pits, hot and humid under my heavy blubber. My fat ass was the biggest thing on me. Jiggly, grossly obese, eater of panties, shapeless like the wads of cookie dough Maddie would feed me. Maddie did everything for me. All I had to do was eat and grow fatter. I just wanted more! Maddie loved me being a huge pig. If she wanted that I would give it to her! I would turn into her fat piggy girl. I would turn into a real pig in the mud for her. She did all this and loved me so much I should at least give her what she wanted, a fat pet pig of a girlfriend.
I was ballooning through the 400s at amazing fast speed. This definitely created some immediate issues. I was finding it harder to fit into the desks at school, I would huff and puff deeply if I had to do any real kind of walking, and doing my job at the school library was becoming very difficult. The most embarrassing thing was when I broke a chair at the library. I sat down and it just broke under me. I was so embarrassed, but also so fucking turned on. I ran into the bathroom to hide, but also to flick myself until I was sore. I pulled my soaking wet fat girl panties and just masturbated for a long time. I loved to masturbate, I would watch myself in a mirror, seeing and feeling my fatty folds jiggle while I did it, while also listening to myself breathe hard would be enough to make me cum.
Maddie is a complete feeder. I have no idea where or when she started these ideas but she seemed to take this with reckless abandon. She introduced me to gain shakes. She would go to this nutrition store at the mall and pick up this big jug of powder. She confided in me during the whole time she grew wet and damp. The small scrawny thing she was looked like she needed it, but she was steaming knowing it was going to go to fatten her sex pig. I started to have my gain shakes whenever possible, on hot days to cool off, before dinner, after dinner, and then before bed. It did a number on me.
The day I reached 500 pounds, when the scale read 502.3 lbs I was so ecstatic. Reading that number I instantly felt myself fatter in an instant. I felt gravity reach out and grip me, I felt my stomach jut out ten more inches, my energy drop, and my appetite roared. Maddie couldn’t keep her hands off me. She jiggled and flubbed all my flabby fatty parts. I felt so huge! So fat! I didn’t stop growing then. I just wanted more! I was a greedy bitch and the bigger my gut got the more pleasure I could get from Maddie.
If only I had stopped.
Almost immediately things started to become harder than ever. It took me forever to get up from a sitting position and when I did I was sweating all over and making such a smell. I was slower than ever. I had zero fitness when I was 400 pounds, when I was 300 pounds I could at least walk a few feet. Now I was lucky enough to spend a day out of the apartment. I couldn’t bend over without taking a deep breath. And the more I ate and the more I grew it just grew increasingly difficult to do just about anything!
My mind turns back to eating. Mindless eating. My jaw must be the strongest part of my body now. My chins jiggle as I eat my bacon cheeseburger, I let out little moans savoring the salty taste of the bacon and the flavor of the meat and cheese. But is this all there is? Just eating and growing? I often feel like I’ve ruined my life. I’ve become a recluse who hasn’t seen my friends in months. Three hundred, four hundred pounds in a year. That seems so impossible, but I’ve done it. It’s my talent, to grow and fatten like a good blue ribbon winning sow. Oink oink.
I look at my bedside table. There's the controller to my PS3. I game so much now, it gets so boring being immobile, I need to occupy my mind somehow. Other than that I surf the web. I feel like I’ve gotten smarter over time, just learning about useless crap like other countries I’ll never be able to visit. I’m too fat for a plane. But also on my table is my phone. My phone, I just use it to call pizza now. But I also have my mother in my contacts. I should call her, call her and beg for her to rescue me and pay for a gastric bypass so I can be normal again. I rub the expanse of my belly. I pat it, jiggle it, give it love and feel my nipples harden. My body betrays me as I grow wet. I can’t even masturbate anymore yet I still want more fat. Fat, fat, fat, I need more fat. Piggy needs more fat. I dread thinking of calling her. What do I say? Tell her I put on 300 pounds in a year and that I’m stuck in my bed because I can’t get up?
I dump the big bag of McDonalds fries onto my belly. I no longer wear clothes. I just wear a thin bed sheet which keeps me cozy enough or a blanket during the winter months. My little sheet was once pure white but now has turned a golden/brownish color from my sloppy eating and my oily dirty skin, as well as from the food I eat off my belly. I’m disgusted in myself, I’m a huge slob blob. Yet I still shove fry after fry into my mouth.
Ironically, when I started dating Maddie I stopped updating my Tumblr, the start of my foolish journey. I just didn’t pay that much attention to it. Why would I? I had the love of my life with me. I did make some online friends through my Tumblr. One of which was more important than all the rest. He called himself Isaac. He was kind and sweet, and also funny, but what he was greatest at was turning me on. He knew all the buttons to push. One time he made me so horny I started eating weight gain powder straight from the jug. Raw weight gain powder.
Through his words he tormented my poor clit. When Maddie would come home I would be insanely horny and demand her to come onto my bed and make out with me. He made me grow too. He joked it was a team effort, between Maddie and him and they were conspiring to feed me until I popped! Oh just the thought, eating myself so full that I popped and covered the room with myself. It made me so wet. After a while though he stopped coming on. He just disappeared without a trace. Maybe he grew guilty. Maybe he found his own pet pig. I miss him every day. I don’t think Maddie knew about him. God, if she did she would have stuffed me harder. She could be very competitive.
I look up at Maddie as she spooned me bits of milkshake and told her I wanted to go on a diet. She stopped feeding me and looked at me with piercing eyes. Her lips turned into a smile, which looked like she was smirking due to her scar. “You do, do you?” she sings, tormenting me. “I thought we’ve talked about this before” she dangled a sweet cherry from the shake above my lips, cruelly. She saw my lips quiver as my tongue slowly reached out to try and touch the sweetened fruit. “Don’t you know you’re too fat to get up now?” she grabbed my hammy arm and “tried” to pull me up.
I think if I really tried I could get up with her help, but doing that would make my chest hurt and my lungs to wheeze and my joints to ache. She let go and dropped my arm, making me jiggle all over. “I could feed you less, but I don’t like listening to that gut of yours gurgle all night long” she gave it a quick light slap, making it wobble. “Face it girl, you’re too fat. Too weak to exercise, too hungry to diet. This is your penance for your gluttony.” When does the abused turn into the abuser, I wondered as she did this to me, humiliate me while making me horny all at the same time. I just want to walk again and she’s making me horny. I’m so fucked up.
I resume eating her milkshakes and burgers and fries, defeated, fat and helpless. I pass gas then, causing Maddie to stop feeding me. I moan, annoyed that she stopped. “Do you need to go?” she asks, reaching for a pan. My insides feel heavy and need release. I watch her put on some latex gloves as I let out another fart in embarrassment and shame. Around 560 I broke our toilet. And before then I could no longer wipe, I would wash it off in the shower. When I could still shower, before Maddie just gave me sponge baths. “Okay porky, let's turn you over” she tells me, grunting as I help her roll me to my side.
I fart again as she does so, it jostles my stomach. I start to wheeze and sweat and my BO goes into overdrive from all this activity. My chest hurts so bad, I feel like my heart is about to explode. Finally I’m on my side and I close my eyes as I dump into the pan she holds up to my enormous ass. I hate this. This is the thing I hate most of all. I’m 25 years old and I have to have someone else wipe me. So degrading. The first couple times I had to have this happen I would cry, but now I’m so dead inside I don’t even cry. I just feel sorry for my poor useless body.
What am I going to do? What am I going to do? As I return to my regular position I struggle to catch my breath. I’m going to die young. The thought scares the fuck out of me, yet all I want is more food. I’m in such a self destructive cycle and I hate it. I’m in my own hell. I blame Maddie, Isaac, and every FA to have led me to this. I want to die, but first I’m going to eat some pizza.
Such a fat wreck.
