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Thing One And Thing Two
🕑 Added 2025-04-17 01:03:16 +0000 UTCthings
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Clifton Royston
I'm noting this for an upcoming trip to MA to see our daughter, son-in-law, and grandchild. At 1 1/2 he might be a little young for this still, but it'll happen eventually. (We are actually going to be visiting Northampton and nearby, and contemplating a move to somewhere near the Berkshires so we can be with said grandchild while he's growing up.)
Ursus Ridens
I forgot to mention, but I must: In the Dr. Seuss National Memorial Sculpture Garden at 21 Edwards St. in Springfield, MA (and surrounded by museums) you will find bronze statues of Thing One and Thing Two, among many others. I strongly suspect that Jeph knows this. I find the sculpture garden a cheering place. It is worth a visit if you're in the area. [It is forbidden to climb on the statuary there. Children _always_ climb on the statuary there.]
Darnel D Cooper
Pardon?
ValdVin
Oh, yes, pinching is much more the thing. Accompanied by what might be her second white hair!
Opus the Poet
Actually it's an app that they start and turn off when they're done being drunk. I'm sure BookBeard has the link to an appropriate comic.
BookBeard
But it's so delicious, especially with extra phytoplankton! https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=5006
Some Ed
@William Cole: This comic is entirely wholesome, it is too pure for this world. If you think otherwise, you have a different sense of wholesome.
Some Ed
Unfortunately, topology doesn't work like that. The sun's gravitational pull is vastly stronger than Earth's, so technically nothing in the solar system is under the sun. ... unless you have a bigger scope than just the solar system. If we include all of the Milky way, we're under the sun briefly once a year, more or less, as I believe our orbit is more or less within the galactic plane. ... unless you're paying attention to more than just the galaxy. If I'm not mistaken, Andromeda is not within the plane of Earth's orbit, so then we're once again never under the sun. I don't know where the center of mass of the part of the universe we're paying attention to goes after we expand it enough to include enough stuff for Andromeda to not be the biggest influence. But I would guess most of the time, that center of mass isn't ever in the plane of Earth's orbit. I mean, I understand the cop out answer that the Earth becomes the center of the known universe because it's the point from which we observe everything, but the matter in the universe isn't uniform as far as we can perceive. But I also understand that it becomes computationally infeasible to figure out where all the masses are, especially since a lot of the most massive bits are black holes which are kind of tricky to spot and maybe dark matter (as it's not clear if all the matter we have noticed but haven't specifically located is in the form of black holes that we've not specifically identified or if there is actual dark matter that isn't black holes.)
Hugh Eckert
I know, right? Just read the material data safety sheet for that stuff- it's deadly!
Hugh Eckert
I'm Not Rappaport!
Todd Ellner
Not unlike what the "raw water" human alternative health whackadoodles do to.themselves
Raymond Dannelly
No no, the carefully filled out documentation by Moray of his interactions for the day, on behalf of The Librarian, proves the quality of his employment, as well as providing insight to the minds of AI.
Todd Ellner
Wrapper
Todd Ellner
You know what fish do in it
Halloween Jack
Salt water? And electronics? Could be... _problematic._
Aaron Burt
No, he's a guitarist.
Summer
The thing is, it's not distilled, it's not even tap, this is grade A artisanal unfiltered SEA WATER! You can't begin to imagine what that does to a robotic body and associated AI. :)
Krestus
Do it like the Doofenschmirtz hot chocolate. First cup is free, second one is free the third one costs a million dollar
John Bensetler
Michael Rapaport
BookBeard
Heavy soda water? Sounds to me like someone just wants many gallons of bubbles. ;) https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=4286
BookBeard
Rapper.
allanfranta
Rapport?
Mad Marie
"Water ya doin'?" "Precisely."
Michael Steamweed
Just so! Nowhere near as much sex as one might shallowly expect with a sexbot protagonist.
Opus the Poet
He's not charging enough.
Opus the Poet
And meanwhile over in Grrl Power a succubus is making a play for my OC because she can't help herself, he's that hot.
legobil
Deionized and then carbonated.
legobil
Water? Really? No lapsang?
Melissa Wilson
Friday at 9 on 20/20.
Melissa Wilson
Brilliant ideas almost always benefit from lubrication!
Melissa Wilson
I can’t wait to see!
Melissa Wilson
OMG I can’t wait!
Am Queue
o/~ They can do anything anything anything under the sun ~\o
Am Queue
I just assumed people knew that, honestly. There is so much cultural literacy dying out due to the loss of free annual shows on TV that everyone saw.
Constanze Carstanjen
Me holding on to my large glass of water suddenly feeling ... inhibited.
Clifton Royston
Cue the Andrew W.K.! (That was 24 years ago? Really?)
enchantedsleeper
It's more likely than you'd think!
Clifton Royston
Microfic are us
Clifton Royston
Violence and Regret can be told apart only because one always wears a top in a particular shade of red and the other wears a top in a particular shade of blue. Yet not even AIs with the most advanced sensory powers can tell which of the two is Violence and which is Regret. Is the red dress or blouse worn because it's symbolic of Violence? Is the blue symbolic of sad Regret? Is it the reverse, as some sort of trickery, or are they each just wearing their favorite color? And why do they wear shorts in the opposite color? We don't know and they'll never tell.
Bagge
I love the report he has with the customers. He really is good at his job
William Cole
Wholesome, in THIS comic?
William Cole
And Yay comes out of hiding with a smug look on their face.
William Cole
They get fucked up, apparently!
Switchchris27
Clair is the Logical one that Stresses them out via hard work, then Marten comes in with his calm and empathetic nature and hallucinogenic drinks for the AIs to then smell and get high to calm them down, its a perfect business model when you think about it lol.
Pejo
mmm Evan
Ross TenEyck-McDowell
There are definitely some similarities. Although Stross's version involves a lot more robo-sex.
Fart Captor
I'm love them
Clifton Royston
In an entirely wholesome way, let me specify.
Clifton Royston
I love these goofy kids.
djellafine
It's Librarian Magic
Michael Steamweed
Possibly actually taking the glasses _off_, and pinching the bridge of her nose. :O
Michael Steamweed
As in, carbonated heavy water? Man, what a waste of tritium. I'm quite certain someone in Cubetown has that. Maybe for their ice-cold-fusion reactor they're working on. (Liz mocks their attempts.)
Michael Steamweed
Sounds not too different from Stross's Freyaverse novels.
Michael Steamweed
Marten becomes very surprised. Claire becomes very suspicious.
ValdVin
Complete with pushing up her glasses and rubbing the bridge of her nose?
Sparky
Happy duo
Yelling Bird
Cute girls who get drunk on water? Santa got my letter!
SilverbackRon
BookBeard is truly a mystery to us all.
Brendan Luster
wait, what happens if they're right?
Ross TenEyck-McDowell
I don't know if this is the reference, but... there is a wonderfully awful 1996 Rutger Hauer movie called _Omega Doom._ Robots, having wiped out humans, form a society mimicking the American Old West, because why not. Robots go to saloons and drink water because it short-circuits their electronics, which is just like being drunk.
Brendan Luster
yeah, but after you don't die, he charged you rent on the environment suit and air you used... gotta love how only the aliens in Heinlein were actual socialists
Carin Maja Brooks
Really, *really* mess them up with heavy soda water (I'm sure Cubetown has that)
Opus the Poet
Originally decried as against rules and laws, anarchists.
LH
i'm assuming it's similar to Pintsize with cake
SpookyPenguin
Big waterrrr, there were four of us but now we are two We're sorta AI apocalyptic kazoo Oh we're jumping on each others shoulders Snark-infested Cubetown waters Oo what to do what a smutty to do
Andrew Mitchell
You monster!
Ursus Ridens
_Really_ mess 'em up -- give 'em soda water!
MikeT
Amazing how fast Marten has become the official AI emotional wrangler for Cubetown Usually this is reserved for the bartender. I hope Mr Tender is not unhappy about someone cutting his grass.
Carrie
Enough salt to make a molten reactor look like a fun afternoon project to de-stress with while trying to show those mainlanders some flaws about electricity generating devices from the last millennium.
Maurice Kessler
How the Feynman do you do this? Have you keyworded every installment for a database?
jonesnori
That's Violence and Regret! Yesterday's comments had several links to their previous appearances.
Miyaa
I only get that reaction from drinking Polish Spring water. Didn’t know Maine had that kind of nasty bottled water.
Call me Ishmael.
Maybe it's the smell of chlorine. We'll know soon enough.
Michael Steamweed
It's best not to ask.
Michael Steamweed
As the great prophet Michael Valentine Smith (from SiaSL) did say, we must share water with our brothers and sisters, so that we may grok each other.
Call me Ishmael.
Hanging out at Mood Cafe is a social experience.
Michael Steamweed
Indeed they are.
Michael Steamweed
I'm thinking their sobriety, or lack thereof, is entirely within their minds.
Michael Steamweed
It's Cubetown. I'm guessing it's everything, everywhere, all at once. Cubetown being a 5D spacetime tesseract.
Sean Kinlin
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Regret?" "Yeah, Violence - let's get wet!"
Michael Steamweed
We had forgotten that episode. But you reminded us about that episode. We must...thank you...at some appropriate time. :P
Michael Steamweed
Took me until the chorus to figure out what that tune should be. :)
Michael Steamweed
Oh no! Extra large waters?! For BOTH of them??? Claire's gonna get that expression on her face! (you know the one)
Tannerbot
Fuck us up, caffeine cleric!
Ailadi
How is this so ridiculously adorable can’t even 🤩
Sean Kinlin
🎵We visit Marten, huh, we can afford it Get a big water - and we just quaffed it Say Mr. Reed, sir, here comes the glass so nice Coffee and tea here, it's such a paradise. Maybe these luxuries are, too much for Cubetown He must be getting rich now, He's got it down (so tell us) Tell us, tell us, how to be (how to be) a millionaaaaiiiiire Tell us, tell us, how to be (how to be) a millionaaaaiiiiire 🎵 [Original song by ABC]
BookBeard
Well I certainly wouldn't wish to make any unfounded insinuations about what they may or may not be doing with that water. I'll just leave this completely unrelated link here for no particular reason. *whistles nonchalantly* https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=5260
Captain Button
Classic SF: "The Lifeboat Mutiny" by Robert Sheckley - Some space explorers try to save money by getting a secondhand lifeboat from an alien race. Which almost leads to them dying of thirst as the lifeboat AI of course must protect them from the most deadly poison known to its alien builders - water.
Sleepy John
the only beings to be overwhelmed by LaCroix strawberry.
ValdVin
"Wow. They'd have enough salt to last forever!"
Sleepy John
So is it one thing after another, or every thing all at once?
Captain Button
A man's flesh is his own, but his water belongs to the tribe.
kupo
Dasani?🤢
Nicholas Lopez
They're so cute
YoPaulie!
Wow. Thank you for that.
Thisguy
One day he serves them carbonated water with hints of citrus.
SilverbackRon
Not that we have seen so far... They have software for that.
Lev Vaesinis
Does water short-circuit AI so it's basically heroin or something?
Darius Jenai
Cubetown would be surrounded by salt water though, no? Though I guess someone on crazy-AI-Island has probably invented a good desalinator by now.
ValdVin
Ooh, good branding. He should jump on that!
Egos
That's a valid question and it's probably not alot
Miyaa
Evan was upset because Marten doesn’t use Evian or Perrier brand water; just that “awful” Liquid Death brand water.
Michael Voorhis
"Thing one and thing two" are Dr. Seuss characters from "The Cat in the Hat."
SilverbackRon
I can't wait to see what this does. And why they pay for it (or if they pay for it), they are at Cubetown which is surrounded by water.
Andrea Andrew
Does water cause AI to get high?
Katrina Urmson
I love that those are their "indulgence/fuck us up" orders and he /knows/ them.
Alcaria Swain
Here's it's a Marten-i
Joel Bateman
Who are they and why do I love them
Brendan Luster
water is life
Shawn K. Younkin
EXTRA-LARGE glasses of water?? Jesus Marten, why don't you just give them some crack while you are at it?!
Silver-OPs
do they just. pour the water on their circuit boards? how do they enjoy those glasses of water?
ValdVin
Isn't "fuck me up" half the phrase that led to the invention of the espresso martini? What few hurdles does Marten have to clear to open a bar in Cubetown?
Captain Button
AIs on Dihydrogen Monoxide poisoning ... a recipe for trouble.
Tamara Macadam
what do they even do with those
