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Marten Opens Up
🕑 Added 2025-03-20 00:57:19 +0000 UTCChoosy moms choose...well, you know ;)
Comments
Taellosse
Presumably he'd have had to stir it around a bit between...finishing and putting it away, or the next person to open the jar would immediately know SOMETHING was quite wrong, since PB normally does not have translucent white fluid separating out of it.
Taellosse
Well yeah. That IS a type of peanut butter, after all. Unclear if it is also a type of Moray.
Stephen Wells
In ancient Rome they used olive oil...
Elf Sternberg
Back in the late 90's, there was a safe sex pamphlet that circulated around Furry conventions, and the back of it read, "Brought to you by Yiffy Lube, where your fox is ready for you in 15 minutes or the service is free!"
YsabetJustYsabet
Also, if the peanut-butter was on the really thick side and/or crunchy, the condom might *stick,* which would add a new world of hurt to the term "chafe." I don't even OWN a penis and that hurts to think about.
YsabetJustYsabet
Same re: jars of Jif, one of which is sitting in my pantry right now. Did anyone else out there wonder if he meant Crunchy or Creamy? R.I.P. to your coffee.
YsabetJustYsabet
I just want to chase them. And I do. :D
YsabetJustYsabet
This reminds me of a conversation I once had regarding spray-on Pam. If you ever want some odd anecdotes to add to this, include an Emergency Room tech in your conversation and man, you'll hear a few... The results: don't EVER use anything even vaguely considered part of the Food Groups (or their accessories) as lubricant; just don't.
Clifton Royston
Oddly, I had somehow forgotten the later one, but remember the earlier one vividly. Hannelore must never know.
Melissa Wilson
@Solomon Garland, reach out to @enchantedsleeper about that one… You may be able to start a club! 😉
Melissa Wilson
That’s a disturbingly apt observation. Thank you for sharing!
Melissa Wilson
But this has always been such a lovely safe place for all us perverts, right?
Melissa Wilson
And now I have a sudden urge to pop in a Zelda game & go flying with the cuccos! 🤪
Melissa Wilson
That sounds excellent! I am open for ALL things within or inspired by the world of Tolkien. Hobbits obviously know their way around the kitchen & and ample pantries would offer plenty of room to get down, for example, if others were already having a good time in the wine cellar. That said, I believe that Cizeta was referring to the Mantan Moreland punchline, which first came to my attention when the Beastie Boys sampled him on Ill Communication. https://dangerousminds.net/comments/famous_beastie_boys_sample_revealed
ValdVin
You didn't ask for it, but here it starts: "Well, it takes fluff, fluff, fluff..." (For $100 I'll stop right now.)
Enno Rehling
I heard someone describe Jif as "peanut-flavored Crisco", and I think it describes it well. Not sure if that makes it a better personal lubricant, but it certainly makes it less edible than true peanut butter.
ValdVin
"You got WHAT in my peanut butter?"
ValdVin
Good thing you went with buttercream. https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=4661
Elf Sternberg
Devin, the only way to correctly evaluate that is by mouthfeel, and as we all know, the slime girl "... hasn't been evaluated by Health Canada for oral use." https://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=5392
Elf Sternberg
Oh, come on. "A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth."
Elf Sternberg
It's worse at night when you get the bourbon spittakes.
Elf Sternberg
I showed this comment to my wife and her response was, "Tell her I feel seen."
Kuragari
Triple word score for use of raw-dogging.
Holly Nelson
Such a fun romp. The sequels, not so much, but sequels are always difficult.
Yelling Bird
Dammit. I miss commenting for ONE night and the discussion turns to strange places where we've stuck our penises...
Solomon Garland
On the one hand, the number of people talking about Moray joining Marten and Claire in bed is making me think you’re a bunch of perverts. In the other, I’m also a pervert and the idea is very compelling. … anyone ever stick a finger in each end of one of those water snake toy things?
Solomon Garland
Crunchy?????
Samantha Gordon
I've been reading your comic for 20 years, and this is the first time I've a) ever left a comment and b) laughed so hard I snorted (not to say you haven't made me laugh before in these two decades, of course. but good lord you really got me good today). It was the last panel that did me in.
Daniel Burnett
I think she feels like a waterbed made of gummy bear
Smashy smashy
Maybe not Sven, but 1,000% Steve
David Paul
@Melissa Wilson that sounds like it should be in a LotR porn parody: "Po-tay-toes. Boil 'em! Mash 'em! Stick your dick in 'em!"
David Paul
It'd be high in protein, I suppose...
Clifton Royston
I mean, as intrusive thoughts go, this is pretty mild. Marten is practically an angel.
Boots McGoot
mine is the urge to pick up a pigeon in both hands like a hamburger, hold it over my head and ~run~
Clifton Royston
I do, whenever possible!
Clifton Royston
Ooooooooh, another 'Witches of Karres' fan! A much neglected book.
William Burns
The 80-ounce size jar?
William Burns
Just show him this comic casually.
William Burns
That's stylish!
Graydon Armstrong
No matter how inappropriate his suggestions are!
enchantedsleeper
I loved them XD They also used to spring leaks very easily
Todd Ellner
If it were there would be no need for condoms except as birth control
Minzoku Bokumetsu
you mean Jay-feg?
Beth Goode
I don't care how well you prep your dick, I am not using that jar afterward for a PB&J. Just... no.
Ursus Ridens
SAE 90?
Sean Brannon
Jeph set it up and you knocked it down, Joe! XD
awgiedawgie
When will Moray realize that she can simulate the viscosity of peanut butter?
Miyaa
Listen. It’s a good joke. It’s a great joke, even. But, I’m gonna need ya to stop anyway.
Joe
"waste of peanut butter if you ask me" - only if you don't lick it off, Jeph ...
Joe
oooh myyyy
Opus the Poet
The solo version of hate sex.
legobil
You don’t know if you have a peanut allergy? Poor thing. 🥲😘😉
Nessi505
Depends on if it’s shear thickening or shear thinning….
cakecake
I'm a cis woman but I've had a ton of dick-sticking-in-stuff fantasies, the most frequent being a jar of Betty Crocker whipped buttercream frosting.
Hugh Eckert
"Squirrel Peanut Butter- It's NUTS!"
Rai Venne
Dammit!!! * grabs napkins and sops up coffee dribbled on keyboard * You'd think that after all this time, I would have learned that having any consumables when reading QC is a risk. And I will not be able to look at any jar of JIF without giggling anytime soon.
Garrett Karlson
Hell of a way to find out about that undiagnosed peanut allergy.
Hugh Eckert
::applause::
William Cole
I'll never be able to get my oil changed there again.
Moonthief
😂
Todd Ellner
He'll have to stop for No Nut November
Melissa Wilson
Though I’m usually a fan of the extra crunchy, dark-roasted, nothing-but-peanuts stuff, I expect my go-to jar in the pantry would provide one an excessive & uncomfortable amount of resistance. For this application, I think extra creamy would definitely be the way to go… Ooh! Or that powdered stuff that people use for smoothies or apple dip. Yes! But it would be a tremendous shame to waste food, so proper hygiene is key, like for grape-stomping… being tidily trimmed & having a gentle antiseptic wash first would be essential! If & only if absolutely necessary, peanut oil should make an acceptable lube. Good grief, I’ve invested so much thought in this, the sunk cost is starting to feel compelling. But how to bring this up with the husband…?🤔
Taellosse
...Any high-viscosity fluid can act as a masturbation sleeve if you're brave enough?
Taellosse
Well, they DID discuss it initially as an unrestricted experience - adding a condom was only proposed once potential hazards with that approach were suggested.
Melissa Wilson
I thought it was mashed potatoes? But I rather enjoy both.
Melissa Wilson
Tell us!
Melissa Wilson
Yikes! I hope the dog was happy, at least…
Melissa Wilson
Eek! Those things gave me goosebumps.
Eric Sieck
A little from column a, a little from column b
Eric Sieck
Everybody listens to him!
Miyaa
Great, another place I cannot drive by and not be cackling.
Miyaa
To which the social media celebrity EMT guy turns on his ambulance’s sirens and drives while muttering something about a ‘flared base.’
Miyaa
A Cif Jif gif Jeph even
Miyaa
I’m afraid to ask which jingle. There’s a lot of jingles that Sean could have ruined already.
Miyaa
Making a note to tell Marten not to put his penis in a jar of Vegemite.
Amelia Lewis
Depends whether he's got his seven-string, or has borrowed someone's jazz guitar.
Amelia Lewis
Hey, Sean! Apologies are _hard_!
legobil
From a swedish supplies: https://www.stadbutiken.se/sv/artiklar/jif-cream.html
Antony Jones
I mean if anyone would understand, it'd be Marten's mom
Charles Hirst
From the Amazon.com.au site -Jif Cream Cleaner Original 500ml - 100% Dirt Removal - 100% Smooth & Shiny Surfaces - Microcrystal Technology - Complete penetration - Easy to rinse off. " https://www.amazon.com.au/Jif-Cream-Cleaner-Original-500ml/dp/B0CSGB3VSZ/
Sean Kinlin
So deep.
Sean Kinlin
Food safe, other than being a biohazard?
Holly Nelson
Thank god somebody does.
Phil Allison
"Rawdogging" is a slang term that originally referred to sexual intercourse without a condom, but has expanded to mean enduring a difficult or mundane activity without any support or distractions, such as a flight without entertainment or a chore without assistance. - from the Internets
Mad Marie
my deepest apologies
Holly Nelson
Yes! Similarly to truffle dogs, the peanuts were harvested by real trained squirrels, actually related to the ones they used in the Wonka movie. The brand died out when Health Canada determined that, though safe for people, the process exposed the squirrels to excessive peanut fats and oils, and significantly decreased their lifespan.
Mad Marie
Jiph Cocques
Michael Steamweed
The _proper_ pronunciation of "GIF".
Michael Steamweed
Oh, we _all_ know the answer to _that_.
enchantedsleeper
@Diptych top tier reference
Michael Steamweed
Considering the sexual escapades of both of their mothers? Pretty sure they've already had _plenty_ of such discussions. The weird-ass fetishy topic of the day must be routine to them now.
Michael Steamweed
Two great tastes that taste great together?
Michael Steamweed
Somewhere, right now, his Pint-ey-senses are tingling. But he might not notice, 'cause he thinks it's just capacitor feedback.
Michael Steamweed
Cannibals hate it when the captives do that.
enchantedsleeper
What if she's like a giant one of those squishy "water snake" toys that were big in the 90s?
Holly Nelson
"Oh God! So terribly red! And the SWELLING!"
enchantedsleeper
Did the cylindrical indentation not tip them all off?
Holly Nelson
Geek-nerding adds more to the edifice of comprehension than is commonly understood. Moray must be far more complex in her interior than she appears from outside. Remember in the Witches of Karres, where the horse-sized battle spider was normally just a pile of fake fur, till activated and given form by some kind of electromagnetic fields? I feel Moray is like that, only squishier. (Hey, you think Gordon would enjoy being a battle spider, maybe on weekends?)
Sean Kinlin
Okay , that's pretty amazing.
Michael Steamweed
I had forgotten that. Mercifully. But now, not. Thanks. :P
Michael Steamweed
Depends on the birds. Vultures aren't picky about proteins.
Michael Steamweed
Ah, yes, I remember well the GIF Wars *flashback ensues
Michael Steamweed
He is the son of the greatest living Domme of North America. He grew up with some, let's say, non-standard ideas of "weird".
Holly Nelson
Oh dear god, I had forgotten Fidel "Pintsize" Castro. Never, ever tell Hannelore.
Michael Steamweed
And with all this discussion of peanut butter sex, it's only a matter of time before Pintsize spontaneously wormholes into the chat.
Michael Steamweed
Probably it was May's idea. She wanted to watch.
Michael Steamweed
She has opinions on the sensual effectiveness of viscoelastic foods. The combination of both solid and fluid behaviors adds complexity.
Michael Steamweed
But Crunchy Jeph or Smooth Jeph?
Michael Steamweed
Because you secretly enjoy the coffee spittakes.
Michael Steamweed
Perfect follow-up is perfect. :D
Michael Steamweed
JIFs, GIFs, Smifs, Mi(l)fs, and Di(l)fs! Plenty of initialism possibilities there. * goes off to write some very confusing AO3s
Stephen Wells
We've seen her spring a leak & discuss "topping up her fluids", so the interior is definitely a lot more fluid than the exterior.
Stephen Wells
"...oh, I thought you said raw-dogging Moray. My response is unchanged."
Stephen Wells
Claire's response: "Smooth not crunchy, warm it to body temperature first, and I get to watch" :)
Holly Nelson
oh dearie dearie me
Holly Nelson
I would not trust a microwaved watermelon. Hot spots could be ouch 🥵
Opus the Poet
No, PB&BJ.
Opus the Poet
Daaang!
Opus the Poet
Yes, but did he microwave the watermelon to body temperature first?
Donna Flint
Yeah? Something to do in the kitchen, perhaps?
BookBeard
Damn, you're right, I've set a bad example for Brad...
Donna Flint
I also wonder how consistent she is throughout. Is she like a gummy bear or does surface tension hold together a more fluid interior?
Donna Flint
Messy, but not dirty. Besides, everyone knows J(iz) is food safe.
Alcaria Swain
You really keep this community together
Dean Reilly
@ Captain Button: it didn't. Peanut butter is very much a niche product here. Most people prefer Vegemite.
legobil
“And now somewhere there is a dude furiously masturbating to that mental image” Furiously masturbating has a certain ring to it.
legobil
NO! We don’t kink shame here! BookBeard, don’t go there! Those are some perfectly normal and not weird things at all to do with hair.
legobil
@BookBeard at least it wasn’t a bird flu outbreak?
Stephen Wells
She's still taking notes. Not on the same topic as before, but there are notes.
legobil
I dunno why I read “two great things that taste great together” but I guess that depends on the operators equipment.
legobil
The slight blush on Martens cheeks in panel 4 is 😘👌
enchantedsleeper
I don't know why I KEEP reading this comment section over breakfast...
legobil
Oh, totally. I know the one you mean! But I have also seen it spelled Cif which ruins your point. :(
legobil
You get a like because it’s dirty.
J
This is what we call it in my household and I regularly have to check myself when I’m saying it to people who aren’t my wife
enchantedsleeper
I managed to remember the beard pubes and NOT the salon artist. Ah, Marten and Dora's reconciliation, that's a cute run of strips ^^
Liam Barksdale
It's not a waste of peanut butter if you, ahem...use it to make a PB & J(iz) afterward!
Ste Saunders
This reminds me of a Reddit Story in which is transpired that one of the roommates in a household had been doing this... And had been putting the jar of peanut butter back in the kitchen cupboard each time.
Alasdair Mackintosh
It very much depends on her body temperature.
Green
Next she's gonna try askin' Liz
Green
This comment horrifies me, thanks
Green
Considering he's done it with a watermelon, that doesn't sound like too much of a stretch 🤔
MikeT
'Jif' is a brand of counter-top creme cleanser here. This comic reads....very differently.
CrudeButEfficient
If we are sharing, I for one have spent a lot of time the last days thinking about what Moray hugs would feel like...
J.C. Hewitt
Man I miss those crazy kids. https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=832
fx_in_mind
D:
J.R. Murdock
Now I'm curious
Eric Sieck
Choosy moms choose Jeph?
Bagge
I wonder how it goes for Liz to concentrate on her work
Finvaara
Sure, Marten's considered peanut butter, but I'll bet Sven already did it. With Crunchy.
BookBeard
Or does she? https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=5082
Christopher Ellis
Nothing says it has to be wasted.
Ace of Hearts
Jiffy Lube
BookBeard
To be fair, there's no way to be sure which of your body parts the birds may or may not want to taste. And yet *still* I'm not allowed back in that aviary...
BookBeard
Ah, of course, a chanticleer.
Doug DeJulio
"Two great tastes that taste great together"?
Minzoku Bokumetsu
what's another word for rooster
Brian Yaras
Dammit Sternberg, don't leave us hanging!
Hawkeye
Well this was NOT the way I thought this was going. But this is a safe space, Marten. Thanks for sharing.
Matthew Reiter
It's a joint photographic experts group. You know, a group of people who understand photography but can't determine how to pronounce "gif" so they had to come up with a format with a more easily pronounced name.
Matthew Reiter
Is "yes" the wrong answer?
Daryl Sawyer
I knew exactly what each one would be.
Daryl Sawyer
Do I look like I know what a JPEG is?
Daryl Sawyer
At least it's just putting it in there, and not spreading it on and then letting a dog lick it off. Yes, I heard of a guy doing that, local news. Went about as well as you'd expect.
Phaine Of Catz
This is hands down the most charitable outcome I have ever heard for the experiment
Ralph Cornwell
you mean natural latex and water based lube?
Phaine Of Catz
One time a friend offered me $20 and a new jar of peanut butter to do this and describe what it was like for her and my exact response was that it would still be a waste of peanut butter
Rob Vary
P&BJ?
Ashley Thomas
the birds dont want to taste your dick either. and the condom chemicals if that was used could be not safe for them to injest.
Creeperkry
Well, what?
Shawn K. Younkin
Don't waste food. Use it to make a pine cone bird feeder.
Graydon Armstrong
At least in Canada you can get fluconazole without a prescription.
Simon Green
Well, he wasn't exactly going to admit to anything *weird* though was he?
Green
It is absolutely Wild to me that That was the impulse he decided to admit to
Elf Sternberg
I think the joke goes, "Everyone wants to pronounce GIF with a 'j' sound. But if the Almighty Himself came down and said, 'It's pronounced 'jiff,' the only logical response would be, 'Okay, Jod!'"
Elf Sternberg
"Secret Roadkill Necrophiliac" is my RFK Jr. Cover Band.
Elf Sternberg
I remembered the salon stylist. I'd totally forgotten about the beardpubes.
William Cole
Really, both uses leave audiences "harrowed and forever changed", so let's call it even.
Elf Sternberg
Surely someone has heard the joke, "What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter?"
kaitou
The result: a BJ that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
Matthew Reiter
Choosy moms choose JPEGs?
Gary Walker
They’re going to have to give Jeph two Eisners.
Cizeta8088
If this is gonna be that kind of party...
Tannerbot
So, did moray get a data burst from Pintsize?
FreeReedz
That’s just nuts. Er…so to speak.
William Cole
Not inaccurate.
SpookyPenguin
Crunchy for your pleasure
William Cole
And human tissue!
Ailadi
GDI Sean you’re spread ALL OVER this comment section 😵💫
Ailadi
We must have blocked that one from memory. Oh well, time to follow where it goes…
Ashley Thomas
even his intrusive impulses are fairly pure. that would hurt no one, he should go for it. and then throw out the peanut butter.
BookBeard
There are worse things to do with hair trimmings. https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1983 Or... y'know... *much* worse things... https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=832
Magic Chopstick Games
…and JPEG stands for “joint photographic experts group”, so obviously it’s pronounced “jay-feg”
Sean Kinlin
Warning: contains peanuts, and nuts
Ailadi
🤢 You’re not wrong though (we think, we don’t possess the equipment to test such theories).
Sean Kinlin
I just realized what a jarring revelation this is.
Ailadi
Jif sounds a bit like “just if”, Gif is “Graphic Interchange Format” 😆
Joseph Houk
Months. Years. Decades.
Sean Kinlin
"Two great tastes that... we'll enjoy behind closed doors."
Ross TenEyck-McDowell
It's a pity he didn't bring this up at Coffee of Doom, because Faye and Dora could have riffed on dicks in peanut butter for hours.
BookBeard
He is referring to the law of Quantum Fetish Mechanics. And Marten clearly had the peanut butter thing on his mind even then. (jury still out on elbows) https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=715
Graydon Armstrong
Marten's a white male, aged 18 to 49.
Miyaa
Marie… no… GDI
Steve McSheffrey
Not interested in checking (I eat too much peanut butter to stick myself with THAT visual) but I'd be surprised if a peanut butter fucking site hasn't been in existence for a long time already.
Graydon Armstrong
IIRC it used to have a peanut on top.
Graydon Armstrong
The early brand history is wild. https://foleyhoag.com/news-and-insights/blogs/making-your-mark-blog/2014/march/skippy-v-skippy-the-great-peanut-butter-trademark-wars/
Simon Green
Per *rule 34* you mean!
Ailadi
Because USA ideas of flavor are salt, sugar, and fat. **shudder**
Captain Button
Per Dora, there is a porn website for this now.
BookBeard
When on tresses she chews But they clog up her ooze That's A Moray!
Graydon Armstrong
Marten, we were having a perfectly normal conversation about vore, and you had to go and make it about sex.
Captain Button
I am told that in Australia "Skippy" means "Skippy The Bush Kangaroo", who was like Lassie, except, you know, a kangaroo. I wonder how this effected peanut butter marketing there?
Chris Reed (aka Animeraider)
Or is it pronounced "Gif"? I have a peanut allergy - I don't know.
Cory Thorp
I’m crying-laughing at this one. Great job, Jeph!
Zygo
Claire: "Again? That girl needs a hobby."
Darnel D Cooper
......... Back in your corner you - and give me those crayons!
Darnel D Cooper
Damn. Surprised she didn't volunteer. (Don't hate me, she seems to be up for anything for/about her friends. She's played pillow and jacket, she controls her moisture levels by concentration she can detach and attach parts of herself.) Good then I'm not a geek/nerd/scientist - I'd want to know her min and max both in size, intelligence, and strength. I feel that Moray at 6'5 would probably be a lot smarter and have strength approaching Bubbles.
Commodore_Perry
Awkward way to discover peanut allergies in the household.
Bill Silvia
Pintsize would be LIVID to find out that this conversation happened and he wasn't part of it.
Devin Gates
Marten and Roko could make the most cursed peanut butter sandwich ever :D
ValdVin
I'll never think of that jingle the same way again. I hope you're proud of yourself!
Mad Marie
Anyone remember that Reese's commercial? "You got peanut butter on my cockolate!" "You got cockolate in my peanut butter!"
Devin Gates
"Oh! I'm the general consistency of smooth peanut butter!"
Devin Gates
Died out as a brand about 25 years ago
Andrea Andrew
Claire: so, is there something we need to talk about?
Sorastro
"You put Peanut Butter in my chocolate!" "You put ch....OH MY GOD!"
Todd Ellner
He gets it through Grinder
Bridgette Ryan
https://ehs.princeton.edu/sites/g/files/toruqf5671/files/media_files/Corrosive.jpg This also applies to dicks, not just hands
Doc Gumby
I think I just got whiplash from the change in direction there.
ValdVin
Yes, I was up in Montreal in the mid -90s and our friends had it there. And that's how I learned "écureuil" is "squirrel" in French. (I don't actually know if it was #1.)
Bridgette Ryan
https://media.bunnings.com.au/api/public/content/0f6c5fb496ef46ae9479670de722c2f4?v=4c646551&t=w700dpr2 So, even funnier when I looked up the product... It's an all-purpose cream cleaner... Creamy, mmmmmmm
Todd Ellner
Why do they put sugar in peanut butter?
Duke
There's an old joke that this brings to mind... Dave worked for 27 years at the local pickle factory. One day, he came home early, and his wife asked him why. "They fired me," said Dave. "But why?" asked his wife. "Well, I have a confession. For the last ten years, I've had an ongoing fantasy about putting my penis in the pickle slicer..." "What? Oh David..." "...And today I just couldn't take it any more, and so I... stuck my penis in the pickle slicer." "Oh my god- what happened?!?" "Well, they fired me." "No! I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?!?" "Oh, they fired her too."
Todd Ellner
Or only if you get the no-sugar kind
John C. Kirk
In the UK, it used to be called Jif, then it was rebranded as Cif in 2001 (to match the rest of Europe). It's interesting that Australia/NZ still use the older name.
Populuxe
Just leaving this out there… Nutella.
Shawn K. Younkin
But crunchy would provide adequate friction!
Murray Pens
At least if it was smooth it wouldn’t …” clog things up”
Miyaa
Wait, Squirrel peanut butter?
A Dark Planet, Lit By No Sun
Jeph? You okay, dude?
Dorian
That was horrible. Have a like
Alcaria Swain
We need to get you away from the computer. For everyone's safety /j
Maurice Kessler
Smooth or crunchy?
Ben R
But what do jiffy mothers choose?
Alcaria Swain
Cursed
Not that Patrick Foltz
Now sticking your dick in a jar of marshmallow fluff? Totally different story..
Alcaria Swain
Growing up is less a requirement and more if a suggestion. Immaturity suits some people more than others. So long as you aren't churning through friend groups, be as immature as you want!
Miyaa
Fun fact: The most popular brand of peanut butter in Canada is Kraft Peanut Butter. Another fact is they stop selling Skippy peanut butter in Canada after 2017 because of competition and unable to price Skippy for profitability.
Joel Bateman
Of course. For science.
AlexKorobeiniki
I mean, I can’t say the idea ever occurred to me but that’s not the most absurd pocket pussy i’ve ever heard of
Leaflemming
Same in NZ. Came here to make this exact comment; had to spend some effort uncrossing my legs first.
Not that Patrick Foltz
I wonder when I'll grow up 🤔
Sean Kinlin
Penis Butter?
Ash359
How's it a waste of peanut butter?
Not that Patrick Foltz
Martin, Yes! 🥜🥜🥜🥜
Logan Nix
fun fact: penises can get yeast infections! please Do Not the peanutbutter!
Not that Patrick Foltz
At least the most interesting!
JMK
Her indignant face in the first panel, adorableness level 10000
J
Moray learning about intrusive thoughts can only lead to good things
Sean Kinlin
"He lubed himself with natural oil, and spread the... spread."
ValdVin
Jif? Since the demise of Squirrel / écureuil brand, Kraft is Canada's favorite peanut butter. Marten can get Jif up there, if he really wants.
J
With Claire’s (and Moray’s) consent of course
Not that Patrick Foltz
A Jiff gif
Ron Braithwaite
That was *exactly* my thought.
Not that Patrick Foltz
Are we talking natural peanut butter that you have to stir? I mean you could carve out and opening, and leave the oil....
Wynn Donivan
Also the nut
Lucas Werkmeister
the content is particularly questionable this week 😙🤌
Taigan
Talk to weird people, have weird conversations
Bridgette Ryan
Oh god... in Australia, I am pretty sure Jif is a caustic cleaning product, so that joke lands very differently.
Miyaa
Wincing
Diptych
'I need help removing an allergy-swollen cylinder from a jar of Extra Crunchy without damaging the cylinder.'
Dave Van Domelen
Putting his Peter in the Pan.
Tabetha Rosenberg
Marten says that, but Moray doesn't know about his mom.
Sean Kinlin
Putting the fluffer in fluffernutter.
That one guy
They're sharing their kinks with each other, my fanfiction is inching ever closer to reality
Peter McDevitt
"Nuts and Cum: Together At Last!"
Joel Bateman
Could always try with a cute slime girl?
David D.
…Does he like it chunky or creamy? The peanut butter sex joke market is so untapped. :rofl:
Michael
Careful you might develop a peanut allergy
Darth Hypno
Or the best. Why is it swelling?
Magic Chopstick Games
As one does
Kurist Zero
"Raw-dogging a jar of Jif" Sweet mercy Jeff, that was inspired 😂
Miyaa
Thank goodness he wasn’t trying to dip his dingaling into Peter Pan.
Alcaria Swain
I missed Marten's uncensored thoughts. Growing up is usually just learning to have a filter, half the time.
Brendan Luster
gif
Jackie aka Jax
Yeast infection from hell. But... Worth it??
Andrew Denton
I mean, I thought he was going to go with the Call of the Void, but you do you.
Elberik
Every day is a battle with the intrusive thoughts
Am Queue
..... Marten, No.
Jonathan Marinaro
Probably the worst way to find you have a peanut allergy.
