The Sharper Image
🕑 Added 2025-01-27 02:11:53 +0000 UTCno offense to knife collectors in the audience
please don't stab me
Comments
Opus the Poet
Actually all of those are useful as part of my vehicle emergency kit. Both the zipties and the duct tape hold things together, and the knife and shovel are used for getting unstuck and disconnecting things that aren't supposed to be connected
Sammitch
"What's that Slur Yeller? Some Irishmen pushed Timmy down the well?" Dog: "[redacted]"
Sammitch
Slur Yeller, the lost contemporary sequel to Old Yeller.
ValdVin
Huh. All mine says is "My name is Teddy Ruxpin and I don't think I like you."
Captain Button
I believe since they are stainless steel, they are for lazy crybabies who don't care about having the sharpest possible edge. Real [whatevers] step up and do the work to prevent corrosion .
David Durant
I (mostly) like Ayo. Let's not have Faye murder her, eh?
Magic Chopstick Games
I have a mis-programmed Teddy Ruxpin that does that!
Chris Warren
Swiss Army Knives are for people like me, who watched too much MacGyver as children. It's a totally different vibe. :)
Evan
One of the German words for sword is "big knife" (Gross Messer). Hunting swords are generally not primary implements; they're for administering the coup de grace to downed prey.
ValdVin
Is Iris "A proper artist with a knife"? Signs point to yes.
BookBeard
@OldGoat: Memory, categorized bookmark folders, and an autism-driven tendency toward mild obsession.
Miyaa
Wonder how knife enthusiasts feel about Swiss Army Knives?
Zak Reichle
Oddly The Obsidian Edge ,using the very old skill set of knapping from prehistory, makes edges far sharper than any steel
Sean Kinlin
He has a heart of gold. Or at least some gold printed circuits.
Hugh Eckert
Or Swordsmary!
Hugh Eckert
Hunting swords are a thing.
Hugh Eckert
"Killing with the point lacks artistry, but don't let that hold your hand when the opening presents itself..."
Hugh Eckert
AT LAST MY ARM IS COMPLETE AGAIN!
Sean Morgan
Cue them going to Coffee of Doom to complain to Dora/Hanners, and Hanners recommending Ayo as a new roommate and Pintsize getting his/their own place.
OldGoat
You're at work and pull out your EDC knife to open a box. As you are accomplishing said task the office busybody gasps, "Why do you carry a knife?" It's difficult to not add a few [explicatives] when you reply, "For opening [*******] boxes [you bloody damned doorknob]."
Huckleberry
I have two Opinel, a couple Benchmade, a couple Kabar, a Glock, 3 switchblades, a gravity knife, 2 SOG, and probably 20 others. I like knives...I don't do slurs.
OldGoat
@BookBeard Do you have the entire archive in a database or do you do it by memory?
OldGoat
Wasn't it Duncan Idaho who told Paul that it was more artful to stab with the blade and cut with the tip?
OldGoat
I don't deliberately collect knives, but I do accumulate them. It usually goes like this: Misplace the current EDC ("everyday carry" for the uninitiated) pocket knife, stop by ACE Hardware & get another. Within a few days the one I misplaced turns up. It gets tossed in The Drawer (with the rubber bands, the wick trimmer for an Aladdin kerosene lamp, various picture hanging hardware, some other plastic thing that I don't remember what it's for but it's too well made and therefore must be important, stuff like that). There's too much stuff in The Drawer to find any of the prior knives on the way out the door when I'm going to ACE Hardware. And so I accumulate knives. Same thing just happened with the wireless mouse that's supposed to live in my laptop bag.
James A. Whitney
Nothing wrong with knife collecting! Or more general blade or weapon collecting. It's the slur shouting -- professionally or amateur -- that's an issue. And unfortunately combining it with knife collecting has a high chance of compounding it into a worse issue.
ValdVin
My knowledge of knife fighting is all from 12 Angry Men, and West Side Story. And that's how I know about slashing over stabbing.
Stephen Wells
Completely random Thing I Learned recently, "gladius" and "claymore" are cognates and the borrowing is from Celtic into Latin not the other way round! During the Punic wars, Romans met Celtic tribes in Spain wielding what the Romans called the "gladius hispaniensis" - spanish gladius - apparently from Celtic kladi(m)os, sword - and were so impressed they adopted the weapon, and the word, for the legions. And a claymore is a cladhaim mor, a great sword :)
Stephen Wells
I think the Canadian money wasn't income, he said he had it to pay Canadian strippers.
Stephen Wells
It's been mentioned in passing that he rents out idle CPU cycles for distributed computing, he can afford it :) One of May's economic woes was that having committed financial felonies she couldn't do likewise.
allanfranta
You have an Opinel? Finest kind!
Miyaa
Hopefully they will get successful enough with their robot repair that they can get their own home, far away from Pintsize.
Miyaa
I’m still surprised The Sharper Image hasn’t died to Amazon or Temu yet. Though it’s been a while since I read from “Sky Mall.”
Michael Steamweed
The therapy biz doesn't pay much, but he's able to kick a few bucks to Faye.
djellafine
So does that mean Pintsize pays rent?
Richard Lindquist
“Casual racism implies the existence of competitive ranked racism.”
Carrie
The knifes in my car are beside the bear bangers and launcher. It's nice to keep everything in reach when big critters can be about.
Stephen Wells
There's definitely some overlap in the large knife/short sword area, but knife does seem to imply a tool (that could be used as a weapon) whereas a sword is fully intended as a weapon & usually larger. In Lord of the Rings the hobbits acquire elven knives which, at their scale, count as short swords; the intention and wielding seem to matter.
Donna Flint
I would argue that it is the intent to aquire more rather than the current quantity that defines a collector. Every hoard starts with a single piece of treasure. Enjoy your sword collection.
Miyaa
Siri really must be a fan of Iris. This cannot be good.
Clifton Royston
Someone once accused me of trying to look like a manager because I was wearing a T-shirt and jeans with black sneakers instead of white or blue sneakers. That might have been a professional slur.
Clifton Royston
I'd say they are different. Operationally speaking, if somebody said he had a knife collection, I think you would be surprised to look at it and find they were all swords, and vice versa. I have a small knife collection, but I would need to have and spend a whole lot more money if I were to start collecting swords. (I have one sword. currently dismantled, and one blunt iaido training sword. That's not a collection.)
Darnel D Cooper
she can't be serious,.. Pintsize has become,...... (useful).
Mike Rodgers
Sooo Maga podcaster?
enchantedsleeper
Oh look! It's the same outfit! Maybe it's Bubbles' "no talking" camouflage.
Sparky
No one has ever asked me about my knives; 15 years ago, my Apple Store coworkers were weirded out when a Farscape actor & I bonded as pocket knife twins but as it resulted in a decent sell - they quickly forgot. I don’t do slurs. I’m past the roommate stage - but have to figure out how to help friends couch surfing ATM …
e.a.rowe
Throwing shovels are the best. I didn't expect them to be so much more fun than more conventional axes, but daaaang
Zak Reichle
Depends on what you do with your hands, many people throw punches at the face and it's actually pretty easy to break bones in your hands punching someone in the head. You can certainly immobilize someone in an emergency with your bare hands without throwing punches at all. I also don't recommend people take any kind of weapon into a self defense situation without first becoming very familiar with it. If you have to use an EDC knife for self defense, there's a really good chance you're going to end up with some significant wounds on your hands from your own knife.
Zak Reichle
I bet those pictures are adorable!
Zak Reichle
Survival shovels with edge geometry that allows it to be used as a hatchet and hammer are a pretty useful item. Can also throw them much like an axe, and some soldiers are trained to be able to fight with them
AlexKorobeiniki
Pintsize may be an agent of chaos, but by memory he actively avoids anything truly malicious. He’s a good person at heart.
Joseph Bonnar
One of my favorites is "Ragnarok in a rocking chair!"
Uniquitous
I do have perhaps more pocketknives than average but they're so danged useful! Don't knife-shame me!
Tinwhisker
Well, no shovel. That said, a shovel WOULD be a handy thing to have around for emergencies.
SilverbackRon
Many things have changed during the time skip!
SilverbackRon
As long as the ones in your car don't include a pack of zip ties, a roll of duct tape and a shovel, I won't worry. Too much.
Mitsuki Ayane
I am Bubs in any social situation, I would rather hide than socialize. ~<3
Charles Hirst
Is it more that she doesn't want to frighten them!
William Cole
I would never have described myself as a knife collector, AND YET there is currently a cardboard box full of assorted knives in my room. Guess I better start polishing up my slur repertoire.
Opus the Poet
Bubbles is right, better the idiots you know than the idiots who are unknown.
William Cole
She could have led with "I can tear the fender offa Humvee, so step lightly.l
William Cole
I'm especially curious about the part of his revenue stream that takes the form of wet Canadian Tire money.
BobC
I can slur so hard, like a sailor with a laryngectomy!
LH
the "summary" was probably longer than the email 🙃
LH
you can slur like a sailor?
Minzoku Bokumetsu
Knife collectors are FINE usually they don't want to get the goods dirty Knife WIELDERS you gotta watch out for
BobC
Nah, the amateur slur-yellers substitute volume for quality. The pros know that a slur can be properly yelled using nothing more than a whisper! (I was a sailor in the US Navy. I know what of I speak!)
Tinwhisker
I keep a knife at my desk and will often take one with me to the woods but that's about it... And the knife in my toolbox, my field kit, the big one in the car, does the ax in my car count?
Elf0004
🎵 These are my friends, see how they glisten 🎶
Amelia Lewis
Don't worry, Jeph! (sings) First cut is the deepest ....
Stephen B.
Oh hey, Faye must have known my old roommate 🤣 He had a large collection of katanas, and was a 4chan gaming streamer 🤦
BookBeard
As opposed to the rest of the time, when she's angry but knows exactly why.
Orion Rhine
My usual is just a box cutter. I've considered using it to slash in an emergency, but I think my bare hands would be more useful in a self-defense situation.
Ursus Ridens
Hunting? (Me: "Raise the portcullis, or at least unlatch the storm door! I set out with my trusty sword Andskotiklovnir out to hunt a big, um, mushroom!")
BookBeard
May suggested that he rents out processor time, although knowing him he probably has multiple other revenue streams with varying degrees of shadiness. https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=3828
Orion Rhine
Training an AI system to target the type of people that like to yell slurs?
Michael
I don’t like this idea of kicking out Pintsize. I still love him best! 🥰
Sean Brannon
That face and quote from Bubs in the 3rd panel is absolutely my mood when strangers are in my space <3
Opus the Poet
Iris is angry and doesn't know why.
Kabit
"what can't those guys ionize??"
Sean Kinlin
Might work if the workplace is a pro wrestling ring?
Jonathan Disher
I love the Apple AI summary of the Patreon email: "Jeph Jacques humorously warns knife collectors not to stab him during his Patreon event."
Sean Kinlin
I think professional slur yellers are all in DC, trying to get jobs in the new administration.
Barty
Both soon to be upstaged by The Sharperest Image.
Creeperkry
I know Faye means "Yelling slurs for money," but I can't help but imagine someone yelling slurs in a way that's somehow workplace appropriate?
Captain Button
That sounds like the lower level of the profession Angus was in.
Captain Button
Do we know how he gets the money for this? Do we *want* to know?
BookBeard
Bubbles is shy. https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=4696
Chauncey
Same. I typically carry two. An utility knife (made by a certain company named after a town in Wisconsin) with a few extra features, and a thumb assisted folding knife that I’ve used for everything from stripping wires to opening soup cans. They’re tools to me.
BookBeard
No knife collectors? Aww, sorry Iris, guess you can't move in after all. https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=5140
BookBeard
Probably. Marten suggested Pintsize would "pay more" if he got his own room, implying that he was paying *something* before. And now it seems like has indeed taken over Marten and Claire's old room. https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=4890
Captain Button
She's not sure of the proper etiquette for walking in on therapy or pegging.
Captain Button
Real knife collectors know slashing is better than stabbing. (Bear in mind my knowledge of knife fighting is extremely rudimentary and theoretical, but I couldn't resist the joke.) (Please don't slash me.)
Dave, Duke of Fridges
Shit I forgot that collecting also means having daily drivers
BookBeard
Certainly they wouldn't use the nice, pristine knives from their collection, but that's why a serious collector always keeps a couple of sturdy workhorse knives around for their everyday stabbing needs.
Michael Boettger
Pretty much all of mine are for the kitchen.
Damian
She's pretty introverted, makes sense she doesn't want to interact unnecessarily with random strangers.
Doc Gumby
So it's really true. I didn't believe it at first. But Bubbles really DOES own a different color outfit! *gasp!*
David S
Was there an actual reason Bubbles didn't feel it was safe to come out, or did she just not feel like it?
Brendan Luster
I feel like being a professional slur-yeller would invite some surprising sponsorships
legobil
Nooo. Bubbles. 🥺 Would have loved to see her interact with team sports cars.
Nancie
As someone who works in IT, I definitely swear professionally. And I do have a tiny, but nice, collection of knives. No slurs though.
awgiedawgie
I would put that in with the "square vs. rectangle" question. A sword is a knife, but not all knives are swords. According to the ever-reliable Wikipedia... "Sword: An evolution of the knife with a lengthened and strengthened blade used primarily for mêlée combat and hunting."
Kayla Soso
Do you mean knives with delusions of grandeur
Tudza
My usual knife is for opening boxes, turning screws, tightening bolts, and cutting wires. I'd have to think a moment before I remembered I could stab somebody with it.
Mortimer Langford
No, no, you're right. I don't yell slurs, but you're right.
Melissa Wilson
As both the child and sibling of serious knife collectors (& when I say serious, I mean my brother gifted his now-wife a pearl handled knife with her engagement ring attached yet hidden in the lining of the fancy knife box), this could not amuse me further! 😁
ValdVin
The Pintsize you know v. the "Pintsize" you don't?
Rich Holmes
I still can't understand how The Sharper Image hasn't been put out of business by someone starting up a company called The Sharpest Image
Dave, Duke of Fridges
Nah the collectors wouldn't stab you because they don't want blood tarnishing their blades
Andrew Denton
"Yeah, I'm good enough to go professional, but the circuit is RIGGED, man."
Hope
Okay so I'm 6'2" and my partner is 5'5" and i was wearing heels for the wedding and we kinda resemble this here
Lynn Shepard
That brings to a question for me. Does Pintsize pay rent?
Andrew
Been a while since we’ve seen Stabitha!
A Dark Planet, Lit By No Sun
Do swords count as knives?