Post "A Witches' Bwew" by "jephjacques"

Amanda L

Just here, three weeks late due to the chaos of moving house, here to express my deep appreciation for the Homestar Runner nod here

Shade Jones

Honestly with a shaker like that is hard to keep it closed while shaking if there's something fizzy

Adam Vollmers

Oh, good, this was my concern as well.

enchantedsleeper

Delicious, delicious sludge!

Joseph Bonnar

You talking about me, Green? (Sober alcoholic, but at one time...)

Shawn K. Younkin

If she's not careful, the explosion will come out of the ass end!

Photon

There's no such thing as a failed experiment... unless you failed to learn anything.

Photon

Nah, she just wants to see the spicy explosion when the lid comes off!

Opus the Poet

Jeph is thinking about us thinking about his characters.

Opus the Poet

Asked for a drink.

Opus the Poet

The smell of fresh baked bread is mostly the alcohol from the yeast evaporating.

Opus the Poet

Dark Loaf is just pumpernickel and rye.

Opus the Poet

Virgin Mary with Frank's Louisiana Hot Sauce is "with a temper".

Opus the Poet

Red Fuming Nitric Acid is an oxidizer for some rocket fuels.

Opus the Poet

Olives and maraschino cherries make for a strange combination of salty and sweet, so I don't know how this concoction is going to work out. Green olives are bitter and salty so even less sure what the final result will be. Someone might want to warn Faye to hold on to her stomach.

Diptych

I'd certainly say they're closer to the sweet end of bittersweet. And, yes, they're lovely!

Ursus Ridens

Thank you for crediting me with that, in the interest of truth I admit that I just sort of missed panel 1.

Ursus Ridens

I lived through the 1950's, and I assert it is as a historical necessity that said recipe exists.

Ursus Ridens

I've recently found that Angostura bitters are, well, not bitter. (Is this just me??) And they're rather good in seltzer.

Clifton Royston

Fuming nitric acid bitters - *extra* spicy!

Clifton Royston

It's actually kind of sweet that everybody here is so concerned about helping Faye stay on the wagon.

Charles Hirst

No, Marmite [and Vegemite] is beer vat sludge.

Andrea

I am waiting for the fizzy water to explode when the lid is cracked after all that shaking. Not sure how much will make it to the glass.

enchantedsleeper

She might be spending the rest of the wedding reception on the toilet, however...

enchantedsleeper

I bet that Faye would drink it for Sam and Emmett's sake xD

enchantedsleeper

Ahhhh that's good 😌

Nathan Kinsey

Yep, bitters can be made with alcohol, but there are non-alcoholic types made with (I think) glycerine. That's why Nitric Acid bitters are dangerous.

LaPrimaNerda (Sarah Davis)

Boosting this comment!! Also, Bubbles would NEVER allow someone to spike Faye’s drink with alcohol and she’s watching the whole thing.

Stephen Wells

Wait, THAT's what I was thinking of! Melon went through this with some drain cleaner https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=3729

Diptych

Jeph has confirmed on the site that the bitters are non-alcoholic! If this drink survives all the way to Faye's hands, she can freely try it.

Clifton Royston

WE ARE VERY HELPFULLY EVIL!

BookBeard

Yes, they are regional names. Bloody Shame is more common in the UK, Scotland in particular.

Clifton Royston

Faye might just find this drinkable, we don't know. She might consider it a fizzy liquid burrito.

Clarence the Liar

She may have an appreciation of horrid concoctions that goes beyond whether or not they're palatable. See: anything she created while at CoD.

Asmodea

came here to say about that shaker - it gonna EXPLODE

Uniquitous

There are many, many such things that are better consigned to history.

Jose Alfredo Villalobos

That kid never touches the bar again.

ValdVin

Somewhere on the internet is a 7-decades-old recipe card photo with "black olives, green olives, cherry tomatoes, and green grapes" in lime Jell-O.

Tai

That's if it even makes it to her lips! The smell from this one would be very... Unique.

Lucas Werkmeister

oh, so *that's* how you make Marmite?

jonesnori

Especially with fizzy water in the shaker.

jonesnori

GDI, BookBeard!

Yonatan Zunger

See some of you are worried about the alcohol content of the bitters, and some aren't worried because it's presumably just a shake or two, but I'm not worried because one sip of this and it's likely to come back up at speed.

Michael Chui

BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD

Timothy Roller

I wish.

Green

I'm seeing a lot of comments on the matter, so: I have had non-alcoholic bitters. They may not be quite as common, but if Jim here is also making mocktails, it's not unreasonable for him to have some on hand! Also, we're talking about such minor amounts. Common household goods like mouth wash and vanilla extract have alcohol in them, but we know Faye hasn't given up cookies and oral hygiene, hopefully, and such. (I know the alcohol in extracts burns away, but the bottle is still in the house and I personally know one ex-drinker who used to go to such lengths...)

Green

There are definitely non-alcoholic bitters, I've tried them before!

Green

This is literally my favorite comic in QC history and y'all know that's sayin a lot

Maxwell Black

faye cant drink that, bitters have alcohol

Philip Masters

Recipes for black bread are freely available. Rye flour would be the key ingredient. (Okay, the recipe I’ve got also includes some coffee, to ensure darkness.)

Ross

Jeph, you either need to bring back DORD or remove the link from your page template.

Hugh Eckert

Came here to say that...

Philip Masters

When they’re older, they can be introduced to Snakebite. (Cider and lager. A British goth favourite. Blackcurrant juice optional.)

Philip Masters

But have you got the issue of White Dwarf with the floppy vinyl single?

Philip Masters

She’s always had an experimental tendency. I mean, she was quite happy to handle throwing Pintsize out of that club.

Carin Maja Brooks

I won't even let ritual sacrifices suffice. There has to be an actual sacrifice for me to touch alcohol again

Philip Masters

Point, but, without minimising the seriousness of someone being a recovering alcoholic, the amount of alcohol in a shot of bitters really is quite homeopathic. I mean, a Shirley Temple apparently has a maraschino cherry in it, and the alcohol in the maraschino liqueur those come in is probably about as much.

Carin Maja Brooks

Shaking a carbonated mixed drink is not a good idea. Oh, and bitters are alcoholic (not usually a problem as they're usually added to already alcoholic drinks, but it is a potential concern)

Philip Masters

I hadn’t heard of the Bloody Shame, but checking the recipe, that and the Virgin Mary seem to be similar. The names are probably a regional thing.

Miyaa

International Flavors & Fragrances (which would have a net worth of over two Apples in QC) would pay their tuition to the most prestigious college’s chemical engineering school in all of France. 🇫🇷

Miyaa

I use the excuse that I don’t consume alcohol unless there is an actual or ritual sacrifice involved. It’s a catholic joke.

allanfranta

Science! "Interesting, that invalidates my hypothesis! I must get more funding!"

allanfranta

especially when you added hot sauces.

Solomon Garland

Since Emmet has no idea what bitters are, I don't think they're at fault, and the alcohol level of the overall drink is gonna be pretty negligible. However, Faye was refusing to drink sub 0.5% alcohol kombucha last time we checked- although she may be saved by the drink going everywhere when they open that shaker

Armcannon Productions

These two going through their goth phase is never not funny.

Mark

Sunday's comic, that is.

wolfman

But Bitters have Alcohol... Here's hoping it was just one or 2 shakes.

David Pipes

Flashing back to Boskone 1981...

OddOod

Came here to say that. That being said, given time gap and depth of addiction depicted, it's likely fine.

Uniquitous

Apwy Libiwally

Orion Rhine

I thought it was called a Bloody Shame?

The Queer Art Pagan

This! I'm a dry alcoholic (Going on 11 years without a drink) who has never set foot in any kind of treatment program. I stay sober by avoiding alcohol. Pretty simple.

The Queer Art Pagan

Or, it might be a good lesson for Bubbles and the kids about double-checking with the alcoholic. I can't count how many times someone has been surprised by me declining something because the alcohol in it "doesn't count." (I live in Wisconsin. It's a regular occurrence.)

Brad Kirkwood

still giving alcohol to a recovering alcoholic is problematic

Philip Masters

Now, if Emmet had just gone for "tomato juice 'cos it looks like blood" instead of the cherries, they'd have come close to reinventing the Virgin Mary.

Philip Masters

On the other hand, they come in small bottle with dripper tops, so unless Dark Emmet stands there shaking the bottle for several minutes, the total alcohol addition should be fairly small.

Diptych

...thankfully, robot hair is easy to re-grow!

Stephen Wells

Tomorrow's comic:panel 1, Faye sips cautiously. Panels 2-5: terrifying contortions of face and body. Panel 6: another please?

lazymagpie

The Sam&Em's back at it again

Brad Kirkwood

errrrr, bitters are super alcoholic, hope they tell Faye before they give her that drink, make sure she's cool with it

Tabby

Right?? They're so adorable 🥰

enchantedsleeper

I think that's the idea, though we're all waiting to see what happens with the bitters.

enchantedsleeper

👀

enchantedsleeper

Oof. I hope that's not where this is going xD But yeah, Bubbles or Jim would say something. Maybe there's an alcohol-free section of the bar and Bubbles told them to use that.

enchantedsleeper

Eyyyyyyy

enchantedsleeper

To be fair, the drain cleaner was Dora's xD

enchantedsleeper

I had assumed they were making a drink for Bubbles, given the crazy ingredients.

enchantedsleeper

Someone can want to avoid alcohol altogether without being in "the program" (by which I'm assuming we're referring to Alcoholics Anonymous).

enchantedsleeper

See also Faye declining kombucha because she doesn't know what percentage of alcohol turns her into Booze Hulk. I wonder if Jeph is thinking of tonic? Let's hope these are the vegetable glycerin kind. I want this to be a cute and funny moment and not a "Bubbles inadvertently gave Faye alcohol" moment.

enchantedsleeper

I feel like asking Sam to make her a drink might have been Faye's idea xD

Adam with two As, a D, and an M

DO NOT PUT THE FIZZIES IN THE SHAKER!

BookBeard

"EvilJuice™: Annihilate Your Thirst!"

Jason Harris

You had me right up until the cherries.

Bill Silvia

I once absent-mindedly filled my plate at a reception and realized that there were now black olives, green olives, cherry tomatoes, and green grapes all of roughly the same size rolling around the plate at the same time. It was interesting stabbing and seeing which flavor I was going to encounter.

Bill Silvia

Both. Both is good.

Sparky

Fun under supervision is good

BookBeard

Frankly I would be disappointed if an Emmett story *didn't* end with a smouldering crater.

Ohh Crap Guy

It's basically the same as vodka, but you always use so little that it basically doesn't matter.

BookBeard

That may be true for the average person, but for a recovering alcoholic there's a real big difference between "basically alcohol free" and "actually alcohol free". Better to avoid finding out just how slippery that slope is.

Sam J

I think they mean the fact they are now shaking it.

Sam J

I did some googling too and it looks like that well they are made from alcohol you use so little of it that it can class as alcohol free. I'm guessing this is the same for vanilla extract.

Scott Vogel

She is going to love it or hate it. No middle ground.

Maarten Inklaar

I once made the mistake of adding the fizzy water before shaking.

Andrei Safta

♫ And I sang deeeeath deeeeath Devil devil devil devil Evil evil evil evil songs Hell you know that's how I get along! ♫

William Cole

It can't be worse than a Cement Mixer.

Watson

I forgot about Bubbles' interest in the spicy drink there! Presumably she knows that Faye is likely not going to enjoy this drink, but maybe she'll enjoy a good sniff before handing it to Faye!

Graydon Armstrong

... therefore it's doomed. :(

Graydon Armstrong

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lemon,_lime_and_bitters

William Cole

SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE!

William Cole

I'D shop there!

William Cole

Brav-o!

Charles Hirst

My kids - 50 years ago - used to ask me to make "Swampwater" if their friends came over. Orange Juice with Green (Lime?) Cordial - looks revolting!

BookBeard

Selectively cast-iron perhaps. On one hand she does regularly drink "abomination" level coffee, on the other we've seen her laid low by cupcakes and burritos. https://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2200 https://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=3997 https://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=4083

Shinymelon Fearnow

Novel Gothing. I approve

legobil

Oh, Skullmaster being a Khorne avatar makes so much sense.

Bagge

I find it very important that people who don't drink alcohol still gets to enjoy fucked up concoctions

Aleksei Besogonov

Oh, Bubbles is turning evil!

BookBeard

She did indeed. Interestingly, on that same occasion, Bubbles had a drink that was both fizzy and spicy. So perhaps she genuinely thinks the goth mocktail sounds nice. https://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=3998

Fart Captor

I love them so

BookBeard

They had to include fizzy water, because we all know that Faye enjoys the taste of bubbles. ;)

Nicolas Demers

SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SEÑORA SHAKE YOUR BODY LINE

Watson

Apparently the amount can be so small as to be negligible, however Faye previously refused kombucha for its negligible amount sooooo we'll have to see if anything comes of that

Watson

Apparently the amount can be negligible, however Faye previously refused kombucha for its negligible amount, so I guess we'll see how that goes

BookBeard

Between 35 and 45% apparently according to google, but alcohol-free bitters do exist for mocktails and such. And I seriously doubt Bubbles would allow them to include alcohol.

Carl G Knoblock

That was the first ingredient.

Gamera

The fizzy water would prolly dilute it to the point where it's practically non-alcoholic.

Uniquitous

Olives AND cherries? Absolutely wretched and diabolical

Eternal Infernal

Hold up - Aren't Bitters like 95% alcohol ... I thought Faye was 0 alcohol these days O.o

Mitsuki Ayane

HAHAHAHA I'm loving the we're so goth/emo but look how excited we are to make this disgusting sounding drink! thing they got going on. ~<3

djellafine

I, too, called it

djellafine

Gonna open a bakery and call it Chaotic Evil Baked Goods

Dan Rorabaugh

Downloads! Store! Ehee-maiuw ...

David Paul

Behaved herself. No, sorry, behaved *like* herself.

David Paul

Called it. Well... half a point at least.

David Paul

Given how acute Bubbles' chemical sensors are, she'd know exactly how zero alcohol there is in their concoction.

Emily Jane

Omg the homestar reference hahaha *chefs kiss*

Bill Marcum

SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE YOUR BOOTY

S. Rune Emerson

I totally read your author comment in Homestar’s voice, thankee kindly for that throwback! :D

David Paul

The nerd part of me seethes with that line of reasoning, but the foodie part of me does not disagree (given that I have Maltese heritage on my mum's side, it's considered unusual that I hate olives with a passion).

Daryl Sawyer

SKULLS SKULLS SKULLS! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

Joseph Bonnar

Elliot is not the pure marshmallow. My BRAIN is the pure marshmallow!

Not that Patrick Foltz

The world is ready for Dark Loaf

Nicole Hands

Ahh, kids in the hall! Good stuff.

BookBeard

Drunk Skullmaster, Master Of Drunk Skulls!

Sean Kinlin

"Evil! Evil! Impolite and evil!"

Adam Abbott

Bubbles probably does, but Fayes is probably flesh.

BookBeard

Emmett's reasoning on the relative evilness of ingredients is impeccable. A friend of mine once told me that olives are made by adding evil to grapes and, considering what they taste like, I have no reason to doubt their word.

Ursus Ridens

Did they remember the seltzer?

Elizabeth Rosenzweig

ding-dong Dear Strongbad,

Nikki

I'm looking forward to the reaction when she opens the shaker. Shaking carbonated drinks is never a good plan.

Summer

Do we know if Bubbles can audio and video record?

Timothy Roller

BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

Not that Patrick Foltz

SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE

Summer

Needs more snake or snake adjacent ingredients.

Charles Hirst

Some Oz barmen - if you order a bitter lemon and they don't have any mixer bottles handy. Fortunately the smell was enough to warn me. Hemiplegic Migraine means you can't drive home.

BobC

I see no Goblin Eyes. This can go WAY more evil.

Sean Rotter

Man, I am getting high school flashbacks from this comic.

BookBeard

GLUTEUS MAXIMUS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS! Oh wait no, that's the incantation to summon Jeph.

Miyaa

That must be why Hercules wants Elliot.

Doc Gumby

Faye better have a cast-iron stomach.

Miyaa

Wait who puts bitters in lemonade?

BookBeard

There is such a thing as alcohol-free bitters. Being that Faye is extremely close friends with the brides they may well have made a point of having alcohol-free ingredients available at the wedding, and undoubtedly Bubbles is chaperoning the drink-making process for that precise reason.

Charles Hirst

As someone with a fermented products allergy, I have to explain that Bitter Lemon is Tonic with Lemon Cordial and NOT Lemonade with Bitters. [The quinine keeps the werewolves away.] {this was meant to be a reply @Kingfuzzyface, but I'm in a caravan park using a Chromebook, and my fingers are too big for the touchscreen}

Carl

Toons! Games! Chawactews! Email!

David Borne

Fizzy water in a shaker - they just built a bomb.

Miyaa

So evil chaos loaf…

BookBeard

Sam's baking was already chaotic enough to get her banned from working at the bakery *before* Emmett. I don't know if the world can survive the chaotic-evil baked goods that Dark Emmett and Grimantha would inevitably create. https://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=4077

Adam Daw

EVILUS DEATHICUS BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD!

Michael Phillips

Is Faye in the program or is she doing something more healthy, evidence-based and less like a cult?

William Cole

EVILUS DEATHICUS BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD!

BookBeard

I think you mean Emmett. Elliot is a being of pure marshmallow.

Miyaa

Remind me to ask these two goths about making evil bread. You know for Roko and Elliot.

Joseph Bonnar

I understand now that Elliot is a being of pure chaos.

Shawn K. Younkin

I appreciate how supportive Bubbles is.

KingAtticus

Ya did a great jorb there, Jorph!

DVW

Evilus deathicus blood blood blood!

Kingfuzzyface

Ayyyy bitters are spices steeped in grain alcohol fyi. Some people in the program avoid them still.

Creeperkry

Oooh, this is why Bubbles was scouring the crowd two comics ago! To find these two!

SilverbackRon

Baby goths are so cute when they are little.

Bill Silvia

I do kind of want to see Sam's reaction if someone realizes they accidentally put alcohol in. Would Sam chug it as penance before Jim or Bubbles got close enough to stop her?

Elf Sternberg

Melon walks by, takes a whiff, and tells Emmet and Sam, “Bottle that! In tiny bottles like the ones they wave under human noses to wake you up! Sell them to robots! You could make a fortune!” Turns out she’s half right, it doesn’t make a fortune, but it does make it easier for them to go to college.

Carrie

🤣😂🤣😂💥👅⚡

Doc Gumby

Oh I was hoping we'd get back to Sam and Emmet before we left the wedding!

Hakurei06

Emmett is holding what looks to be three bottles of bitters while pouring one of them out vigorously, so it’s doubtful the concoction will have just “a few drops”, but such a concoction will probably not appeal to even the most desperate alcoholic.

Katrina Urmson

I love them.

Claudia D.

Urp! Reminds me of when my little brothers would put all kinds of stuff into the blender. They were so proud, “We made a delicious drink for you, Claudia". Pure hell to drink, but they meant well…

Bill Silvia

What did Faye DO?

Maghinat

Can we have bubbles reaction to smelling it or does that only work with tea?

Patrik Prouse

E-e-e maiw

Danny Beans

At a mawwaige!

Ashbury Haight

From a quick search— "Some modern bitters are made with vegetable glycerin instead, allowing those avoiding alcohol to enjoy them"— I'd imagine Jim and/or Bubbles would intervene if they were alcoholic. I believe Faye was shown to enjoy bitters before, so it would be sweet if they specifically made sure the bar had the non-alcoholic kind for her :)

rhekke

Considering some of the rotgut Faye used to drink, she might actually like it.

BookBeard

Emmett has clearly been training as Emily's apprentice in mixology. https://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=3729

Danny Beans

If we're counting seltzer with a few drops of bitters as alcoholic, then we have to count bread and vinegar, too.

Todd Ellner

It is important to learn that not all experiments are successful

Ashbury Haight

Fizzy water? Bad drink right from the start, eugh

Todd Ellner

Very alcoholic, but they are legally considered a flavoring, not a beverage. Glycerine bitters are . .. not great. Darcy O'Neill has a breakdown of flowers about carriers other than ethanol

BookBeard

@Auros they/their

Hakurei06

Isn’t there alcohol in bitters? How much are they adding? Because I can see a teen dumping an entire bottle in there out of ignorance

Czarzhan

There was zero alcohol content, so she can (in theory) drink it.

alphanor

Even without the fizzy water, it's a good idea to hold on to the lid. When you try to shake the 'shaker' without securing the lid, your beverage will end up all over the other patrons and you. Ask me how I know!

Auros Harman

With all the hot sauce he added to it, when it blasts into his face, that's gonna be.... exciting.

Bridgette Ryan

That was my thought exactly. But typically they are so low in alcohol that they are not classed as alcoholic when a few drops are put in a drink, i.e.: I can purchase a lemon lime and bitters at a non-licensed restaurant here in Australia, because the alcohol is considered negligible.