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Arc | Chapter. 94: Memories Best Forgotten
🕑 Added 2023-10-18 20:03:11 +0000 UTCChapter. 94: Memories Best Forgotten
I could remember it like it was yesterday.
It was so vivid, that the memories themselves brought me heartache. They were memories I didn’t want to recall, things that were supposed to be distant, and yet here there were…
The rain was pattering, hitting against the cold window as the droplets clouded the glass. The hazy vision to the outside would normally bring me comfort but this time it made me feel trapped. The relaxed atmosphere felt like the calm before the storm. I didn’t know what I was doing or what I was feeling.
In the end…
I looked down, feeling the envelope within my fingers. My black hair hung low and disheveled, I hadn’t really slept like days. Not like I could.
Because, I had gone against my parent’s wishes…
I turned to look back at the window, I had been feeling uneasy for days. But I hoped, I believed that, my decision would be something that would be approved of. Something that I could hopefully look back and smile on, and eventually my parents would be proud of me…
But I didn’t know…
I had worked so hard for this dream of mine. One that I understood would be unpleasant for my family, that was why I had tried my hardest… That was why when I first received the acceptance letter to my dream school I had been overjoyed, but now… I wasn’t so sure.
“I also have a full scholarship, but will that be enough…?” I asked with a sigh.
My soft voice echoed through the room, before I even noticed it my hands were shaking. I was nervous… very nervous. I had made the decision that today at dinner I’d relay the news to my family, but now I felt like backing off.
I turned to see my room, it was normal; there was nothing that even hinted at my decision, but deep down I knew that’s what I wanted to do in life…
I walked to a drawer next to my desk and opened it, only to see rolls of cotton paper, splashed and filled with color. I took a deep breath before taking them all out, taking my sketchbooks out, taking small clay sculptures out from the very bottom.
I stared at the desk, at the watercolor artworks; portraits, buildings, nature. I stared at the clay models, and finally I flipped through the sketchbooks filled through the brim with art studies and sketches.
I wasn’t perfect…
Far from it…
But it was my dream…
The question was…
Would it be accepted?
I had worked so hard for it, but in the end I didn’t know. I didn’t know what to think of things, I had been accepted, my portfolio had been reviewed and praised, a professor even expressed interest in hiring me when I went to tour the college…
But would all of that be… enough?
A long breath left me as I began to put away everything that was on my desk, and while that was happening I heard knocking at my door. I hurried, and luckily, I closed the drawer before the entrance opened.
And there, I saw my mother. She was shorter than me and yet had a rather stern gaze as she looked at me.
“Arc, I know your break just started but you cannot let yourself go like this,” she said, her tone harsh. “Your sister is already starting her master’s…”
“Right.” I nodded. “Yeah, I know sorry.”
“This is what’s best for you.” With those words, she closed the door and her voice echoed from behind the door. “We will have dinner soon.”
“Right, I’ll get ready…”
I called as I received no reply and a very long sigh left me. In the end, I was nervous. I was supposed to have applied for law schools and would be getting my results soon; except I had done none of that…
In the end, I had applied to several art colleges and ended up being accepted to my most preferred one. I had been granted a scholarship too. But I felt nervous.
Shaking my head I left the room and headed to the bathroom, beginning to tidy myself up by washing my face and brushing my hair. The person looking at me in the mirror was rather average, black hair and black eyes. There was nothing outstanding about me, and perhaps that was for the best.
I didn’t like to draw attention after all.
As I tied my hair back, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was making a mistake.
All of my life I had done my best to please my parents; to make them proud, but it almost seemed like it was never enough. If I wasn’t compared to my sister, I was compared to the kids of my mother’s friends, or anything really. Nothing was… ever good enough.
So perhaps, I wanted to believe that if I showed great initiative trying for my dreams, good things would come…
But that, I didn’t know.
Shaking my head, I dried my face and got ready for things. Wore presentable casual clothing, applied very light makeup to hide the bags under my eyes, and made sure to take the envelope with me…
And soon, I found myself at a table with both of my parents. We ate in silence for the most part, but that was until my father regarded me, his graying hair evident as his sharp gaze met mine.
“Arc, have you received any letters yet?”
I was… nervous.
This was the time I had been waiting for…
I got strange looks from both of my parents and nodded.
“I have been accepted to my dream college,” I smiled weakly as smiles festered upon my parent’s faces. “But it’s not what you guys think…”
They blinked as I took a very deep breath and raised the envelope from beneath the table. And with shaking hands I handed it to my father who was the first to receive it. His expression was odd as he opened it and began to read both letters inside.
There was a silence before he handed it to my mother, who quickly began to read. However I could already see a terrible frown on his face.
“So you got a good scholarship, that is good,” he said gravely. “But I can’t believe—”
“It’s fine,” my mother said, shaking her head. Her tone was solemn. “We talked about this.”
With those words, my mother handed me the envelope with both letters inside and my father just nodded. Though his expression was a mix of anger and what seemed to be disappointment. My heart was trembling, but it had gone… okay.
Things were… fine.
We continued to eat in silence and once dinner finished my mother stood up and turned to me.
“Arc, there is something I need to discuss with you.”
I gulped. “What is it?”
“It’s of great importance.” She nodded and began to walk. “Come with me.”
“Right…”
I followed after her as my father uttered something beneath his breath. And soon, I found myself standing inside of my mother’s office. She grabbed an unmarked folder and placed it inside a portfolio. Then she guided me to my room.
“You should grab your phone.”
“Right… what do you want to discuss?” I listened to her instructions as I grabbed it off the table.
She nodded and ignored my question as exited the apartment holding the black portfolio. The sounds of the rain became muted as we entered the elevator. And once the button to the lobby was pressed, seconds of silence passed before finally she spoke.
“Arc, you turned 18 last week.”
“I did…” I nodded.
“You’re old enough to make your own decisions,” she said solemnly. “That’s why we won’t stop you, if that’s what you want to do then, you should do that.”
I blinked at her words, my heart slightly fluttering. “Really?”
“Yes.” My mother nodded.
And then the elevator door opened as she walked with me down the hall and to the outside. The electric door buzzed as we left the building and finally, my mother stood next to me in the rain. I didn’t understand what was going on, but… I was a bit happy.
“Arc, hold this, you’ll need it.” My mother passed the portfolio as I just blinked. “That’s for you.”
“Right, what is it?”
She didn’t answer my question as she turned to look at the street.
“Arc, in spite of our actions, I hope you’re successful in life.” With that, she turned around and grabbed the door, the electronic keycard within her hands. “Goodbye Arc, we cannot enable your dreams.”
And she entered the building as I blinked. The door closed as I was left standing outside. I watched in disbelief, as I saw my mother enter the elevator without giving me a second look. And just like that, she had left.
There were no screams, there was nothing. But as the minutes passed by I realized what had just happened. I was in disbelief, but as I realized that they weren’t picking up my calls and that the portfolio contained my legal documents the truth settled in.
They had abandoned me…
All over the choice I had picked for my future…
And worst of all, there had been no warning or nothing…
It had been just… cold blooded…
* * * * *
Ceylon had been putting it off for quite some time, but finally she was going to figure out why her notification said Tier Advancement and not Class Advancement…
Taking a deep breath she selected the notification and—
Another one soon came.
[ Tier E has been upgraded to D — You are now D Tier! ]
And just like that it was over.
There weren’t a myriad of options like she expected, there was nothing. It ended just like that… She was now D Tier, some notifications of new skills soon followed. But it wasn’t what she was expecting…
Where was the class upgrade?!
Well her class was unique so maybe she was asking too much…
A sigh left her and flipped in the bed, turning to look at the room. She didn’t know what she was feeling, and perhaps it didn’t matter. She had been nervous, and it was unfounded…
Ceylon shook her head and turned to look at the ceiling when she heard a very quiet sniffle. She blinked and sat upright only to see Arc asleep, but then, she heard the sound again— and it continued before it turned into quiet sobbing.
Then Ceylon saw Arc turn in the bed, and that’s when she saw it.
Arc was crying…
Without hesitation, Ceylon got off from bed and hurried— shaking Arc awake as her eyes snapped wide open. She looked disoriented, and for a moment the tears streaming down her face didn’t stop, but soon she refocused.
“Ceylon?”
“Arc, are you alright?” Ceylon struggled to find her words. “You seem… hurt.”
“Right…” Arc touched her wet cheeks, there was hesitation before she shook her head. “I think it’s best we don’t talk about this.” A sigh left her. “The past is best forgotten.”
Ceylon was hesitant, but she still spoke.
“If you ever want to talk… well I’m here.”
“Yeah, thank you.” Arc weakly smiled. “Could you…” And she shook her head. “No nevermind, you should go back to sleep.”
“Will you be fine?” Ceylon asked hesitantly.
“I’ve been fine since then, so… yeah.” Arc nodded slowly. “I just need some… peace of mind that’s all.”
“Right…”
After that Ceylon returned to her bed and tried to sleep.
* * * * *
In the end… there was no point in remembering the past.
I stared at the ceiling in silence.
Those events had already passed.
The room was quiet, and while I knew Ceylon was still awake and worried about me, I tried not to think about it.
I had tried to reach out to my family for a very long time, and yet every time I got something I was hurt.
My mind was… a mess, but at the same time I found solace in knowing that all of that life — everything had been left behind. It was all in the past.
All those memories…
I smiled to myself, feeling some sadness.
All of those attempts to regain their approval.
I closed my eyes as I felt them well up with tears.
All of that life… It was all best left forgotten.
Comments
Azrie
Hey glad you like it! Was definitely hesitant to write it!
IAMHEREFTW
I think this was one of my favorite chapters just because of how much depth it added
