BeeSpaceProgram
patreon
Interrupted Sketch Pass (full)
🕑 Added 2025-03-18 10:11:01 +0000 UTCSketch pass is done! I added some value contrast here and there to help some of the panels read better. I think a few panels in the early pages could use a little more work, but I am going to leave it there for a little bit, and take a break to do some other stuff. Maybe do some painty sketchy stuff? Maybe some fanart or gift art? I dunno, something low stakes,
I welcome feedback on this draft state. How does it flow? Are there any panels where you can't tell what's going on, or any transitions that are hard to follow? Incompresensible character motivations? Of course, ink and colour will clean up a lot of this, but if it's not clear enough at the sketch stage, there's only so much that rendering can do. Apologies for my handwriting, I'll do a much slower pass on that for the final pages for sure. Honestly if you spot any legible spelling mistakes feel free to let me know about those as well (just be sure to note page#.panel#.bubble# so I can find it if you do).
Thinking of grabbing a few fun panels to post as teasers, might put them up on here for free patrons as well in the next few days
Comments
BeeSpaceProgram
that implication is exactly what I was going for actually! she's been in denial about hating her job, so when a weird situation comes along she's reckless, in some ways subconciously self-sabotaging her employment, so when it comes to the confrontation, she realises how much she hated it Maybe there aren't enough seeds for it, it sounds like it didn't land solidly enough for you to be sure that's what I was going for anyway
Robin!
This is quite good! I think the only part that really stuck out to me was page 20. This little horned girl comes across as timid. Having been caught having sex with some patrons, I can see why the manager looking guy is yelling that she's fired, but her yelling back that she's quitting feels a little out of character. Does a lot of implying, like that she was already resentful or something of her job, which the comic isn't really about, and so doesn't show. I assume this was done to keep the vibes positive: she lost her job, but maybe that was a good thing actually. Just spitballing, but maybe if she was shrugging, or more distracted by the couple and ignoring the manager, these would also lessen the negativity but not feel as incongruous? It is just a single panel out of 24 pages so it's not a huge deal, but since you were asking about feedback
Phantom Dame
THIS👏IS👏SO👏GOOD👏
