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State of the Skeleton 10/24 - PRGE, Surgery, and Mold Exposure
🕑 Added 2024-10-04 07:42:02 +0000 UTCHey Skele-fam,
It's been a wild few months for me, and I was waiting for things to settle (again). It's really been a rough few years but I'll get to that in a minute.
First - this past weekend I drove down with some friends to Oregon for the Portland Retro Gaming Expo! It was two years ago when we attempted 16-player Faceball 2000 for the Gameboy. It was a bust, unfortunately, but this is where our journey to achieve the worlds first 16-player game started! And we returned with results - 16 Gamecube running 16 GBA Players on 16 TV's for a 16-player GameBoy game made in 1991. PRGE put us on a stage and printed banners for us! It was so awesome and we only had a few hiccups with the custom-built hardware that made it possible. It went much smoother than our first public event at the Midwest Gaming Classic in April.
To be honest though, this trip had me a little nervous. You see, I've had a surgery planned for a few months now. I've mentioned this in posts earlier this year, but I spent most of the first half of this year battling multiple sinus infections, or what I think was actually one severe infection that didn't fully go away the first time. I went to see an Ear Nose and Throat doctor, something I'd been putting off for years honestly, and they told me I've basically never breathed a full breath through my nose. My upper sinuses are majorly stuffed up which makes me prone to colds and infections. The long term solution is to get in there and clear it all out - surgery.
But my doctor fell sick and my procedure had to be rescheduled from early August to a week after PRGE - this Friday. So I was hoping like hell I wasn't going to get sick myself at the con, which I very thankfully didn't. But if you saw me this past weekend, this is why I was only fist bumping and not shaking hands, and I was chugging tons of water with vitamin C / immune boosters.
As I write this, my procedure is actually in a few hours, it's super early in the morning, but I should be finished and back home before noon. However, recovery just depends - they said some people are back to work on Monday, other's are laid out for a week. Either way I'll have splints in my nose until the following Friday. Depending how I'm feeling, I'll maybe shoot something while I'm swollen up and with stuff shoved up there, haha. They also had to tell me that there's never a 0% chance something terrible wont happen, which is always nice to hear... My doctor does this procedure sometimes several times a week but it's still got me a little anxious. I haven't had surgery since I guess my wisdom teeth.
The other thing going on in the background of all this is my general health. I'll cut to the chase here but on a hunch I started reading about long term exposure to mold and how it can effect you. It's fucking serious stuff! I found a Naturopathic Physician who got me tested, and the results came in Tuesday - my body is teeming with several types of mold. I tested mid/mild for black mold, which is still really bad but I was assured could be much worse. Though I tested extremely high for a few others types of mold, and these can severely impact fatigue, immune system, and GI.
Over the last few YEARS I've been adjusting/increasing my ADHD meds, started taking antidepressants, and been drinking a lot more coffee but I've found myself struggling so incredibly hard to keep up with the channel, not to mention just stuff in my day-to-day life. I've also put a bit of weight despite still eating basically the same stuff I've always eaten. My hairline has started receding even though that's not really a thing in my family (don't worry, my family still has plenty of "things" to worry about haha). I thought I was just getting older, I just turned 40, you know? But also Grace has had some weird health struggles creep up. I'm over-sharing enough already but I'll just say we almost separated last year. It got really bad. Probably the toughest year in the eleven we've been together. Even our dogs have gotten sick! Both are getting on in age but so many things line up with around when we moved to this apartment!
I can't start my mold detox yet, not until after my procedure. I've been staring at these supplements that are supposed to help but I have to wait until a few days after surgery. But the real solution to mold in the home is cutting into the dry wall or ripping out the carpet and replacing it. Which we can't do in a rental. So the next best thing is to move. Our lease is up in January and we'd decided last time we weren't going to renew again but Grace has already started looking for a new apartment. All the detox in the world wont help much if you're still living in the toxins, getting out of here ASAP is the best thing for us. But my recovery from surgery is a big question mark.
And this whole time I have been working like hell to get this Faceball video done. It's been such a crazy and fun story to tell! And I have so many other projects too - back in June I interviewed the CEO of TecToy about their new portable PC, the Zeenix, which is a combination of Zeebo and Phoenix! Literally, a new Zeebo! Their new head of video games reached out to me personally! I also interviewed the team at NightDive and talked about the new Doom ports they put out. I've researched Delisted Doom Ports since this new version of Doom made the previous one's delisted, plus there's several others. This summer I commissioned someone to help research all the Silent Hill mobile games because there were shockingly a lot of them! There's a team cracking old Japanese cell phones to preserve the games on them. And the guy spearheading that was also the guy who hooked me up with my Zeebo and is willing to help with any video topic I want to cover! One of the devs who worked on UFO 50 reached out and gave me an early review code, telling me himself it would be a perfect Punching Weight game (and he's 100% right!) But I have so much going on, I haven't even played all 50 games yet. I even ask Matt McMuscles if he could get me in touch with Justin Wong and when I asked Justin if he'd film himself playing Marvel vs Capcom 2's iphone port for me (which he's never ever played before), he said he'd absolutely do it! I have so many awesome project that I've been working on, and I've been dying to stay motivated!! Or had to focus on myself and my family! The UDUG projects have been an absolute blessing because I'm able to finishing SOMETHING!
The silver lining here is that this mold exposure has gotten both Grace and I to do health stuff we'd needed to do for a while. I think a lot of these problems were already there but this was a heavy thumb on the scale. I feel horrible for how the channel has been the last few years. I thought often about retiring but there's just too much stuff I want to do. If I left it like this, I'd have regrets. And maybe I've already fucked myself with the algorithm and with my audience, but I NEED to get these projects done, if only for myself. But knowing that I've actually been really sick this whole time, is a bit of a relief. I'm always positive about the future, it's kind of a problem sometimes haha, but I really can't help it. I'm gonna get this shit done and I'm gonna make as good as I can make it because it's just what do. I don't know when it'll be ready, but I'm working as hard as I can. Things can suck and be awesome at the same time. When we get through this, we'll be better than ever. Or you're witnessing this all going down in a blaze of glory. Either way, my only hope is that you're entertained and learn something.
Stay Powerful,
Derek Alexander
Comments
Mark Davison
I know this is months after this post was made but I got a little emotional reading this. I too am having creative struggles while also managing medications and sometimes I wonder if it’s worth keeping at it while working a menial job. That maybe it’s easier if I just stop and submit myself to what’s expected of me. But I know that the drive would return if I did that and so I keep going despite everything. I hope things have picked up for you.
Nicholas Arthur La Barre
I’m gonna be real. I was under the belief that the channel was already dead. Usually when stuff is going on with content creators, they’ll do some kind of update video. But there wasn’t one of those. It was just quiet. And while I’ve had money problems for the past few years, I just had to know if Patreon would have any information on the matter. Now I see some serious stuff was going on in the background. Gosh, I would be so sad if I found out retirement was the answer. Anyways, SSFF has been one of my favorite channels for years. And I LOVE that Re-Certified is coming back. If I was around during the poll, that would have been my number one vote. It looks like I’m not alone in loving that show either. So I hope things begin to improve for both Grace and Derek. And I hope we start seeing stuff from y’all soon. I know you’ve been missed. (And sorry I didn’t see you at PRGE. I live in Oregon. What a miss).
Steven O
Hey! Looooooong time fan. Really glad you have taken action in relation to your health. It's so scary to do. I'm sending positive vibes. I don't know what is going on with your relationship by any means but I always share this advice I got that helps me and my partner: "it's not about being right, it's about finding a solution". I have no idea of it's at all applicable but tbh it's so broad it's helped me in all sorts of bumps. I'm relation to the channel: it takes what it takes. Don't rush if you can help it. In the meantime I will check out your content on here and rewatch old vids.
Lord PichuPal
No matter how long the wait is between videos, it's always worth it seeing the crazy things you've got to share. The health issues are definitely a scare though and glad you'll be getting a new place in the next few months to hopefully put to rest a lot of it. It'll be good having you guys in better condition first and foremost.
EnthusiasticOwl
Man I walked past that 16-player Faceball setup like three times and didn't see you there. I thought I was having a memory lapse and that someone else was insane enough to set that up. It wasn't until I watched the Metal Jesus video did I realize it was, in fact, you. That setup was so hot it tripped the fire alarm.
Erika Morris
You’ve got this man!!
Erika Morris
Stay strong
Erika Morris
I have had many surgeries in the past years- that is to say, I know how hard they can be
James O'Hara
Jesus Christ dude, good luck! Mold is terrifying, but I'm glad you identified the problem and can get out of there.
andy marsh
so what you're saying is you're basically ethan winters? that's pretty cool. much love, get well soon.
RayceARoni
Sorry to hear it's been so rough for you guys. I'm excited to watch what you've been working on. I hope things improve from here on out!
Spencer Cream
Love always, and keeping your family in my thoughts and well wishes! FWIW with the apartment hunting, there are actually a lot of decent & in-expensive home mold test kits. In the PNW, they can be a bit spotty because of the amount of mold & mildew spores in the ambient air in the cold/wet parts of the year, but they can still give you a decent "benchmark." I had to study up on this stuff for work (and also live in the PNW, so know the struggle), so feel free to hit me up if you want to talk about residential mold/mildew lol <3
3 Kobolds in a Trenchcoat
I always want to stress that you are more important than your content, and I'm glad you're taking care of yourself.
Cheezitnator
Whether you're in the faith or not, we're praying for healing and a healthier living situation for you and Grace and the puppers. Love your content and positivity but definitely take care of yourselves.
Felix Niland
Love you guys! ❤️
sadnehs
I don't have twitter but I'd recommend posting about the mold on all your social channels / Youtube community. Sounds like a lot of people need to hear the effects of mold and how it could the cause well-being / energy / weird health issues. Maybe don't mention the naturopathy on those wider channels though... I know access to reliable real doctors is spotty in the US so I don't blame you for needing to resort to one. But many people will get loud about it.
Vee Langer
UD, Please, Please, PLEASE go see an actual physician about any potential mold exposure and your overall health and wellness. Not to hate on someone’s career but naturopathy is basically akin to home remedies for things much more serious than a cold and they are not actually licensed physicians. Love, a fan and Medical Doctor
Mike
You are the best Derek
Jradgex
As a person living in Washington with an awful mold problem in their apartment, I absolutely feel for you! It is NOT FAIR to realize you've been living in sick for (maybe) years! I'm on my way out too and I hope ya'll get somewhere nice. Nobody deserves to live in mold (besides Nazis I guess), so best of luck escaping that nonsense. We love you both!!
Jason Ellis
Sounds like you'll at least be able to start the healing process and its always nice to know the reason things have been tough. Good luck with the surgery!
Michael Smola
Take care of your health and personal life first. I know you left the HVGN moniker behind long ago, but the happy upbeat attitude you bring to your videos is something that keeps me coming back! You deserve to take the time you need to make your life away from the camera the best it can be.
Veropo
We love you, Uncle Derek! Take care of your health first, your audience absolutely understands. Hoping your surgery goes well and it's a quick, easy recovery! And good luck on all those amazing sounding projects!!
Quinn Curtis
I'm so sorry to hear about all these struggles you've been going through, but I'm glad y'all are resolving them. I love your channel and content no matter how long I have to wait to see another fascinating video (absolutely entrhalled by the Japanese train controllers lol). I'd also love to see you try another run of Doom on 32X or see you comparing the different Saturn region ports! I hope your surgery and detox go well and I'm excited to see the Faceball 2000 vid!!
ScottyMo
It's insane how relatable this is for me personally, as I recently was diagnosed with ADHD, and the weight that took off my shoulders was amazing because it explained so much of what I saw as "shortcomings." I'm also about to turn 40, so I felt this post on multiple levels. I just wanted to say we are all rooting for you and sending positive energy your way for the surgery and recovery. We always appreciate the transparency when we worry about the lack of content resulting from worst-case scenarios. Also, fuck the algorithm. Do this for you! We will still be here!
Jason Hurley
That's a lot to deal with. I'm glad that you at least know what's in front of you and have a plan to deal with it. Wishing you and Grace the best!
Justin D. Morgan
I’m paying for your surgery and for your housing situation.
Gerald Bocook
Good luck with your surgery and the move! You stay powerful, too, brother!
Nemhya
Hey man, health comes first. Don't feel bad for taking the time and effort to take care of yourself. I appreciate everything you've done!
ConiferSSR
Super sucks to hear that everything piled on at once but definitely take care of yourself and your personal life first. We'll be here for you and I hope it all works out. ❤️
Rauno Villberg
Surely the surgery will go well, you will recover well and be feeling good (better than ever !?!) soon. Much love, uncle Derek!
