Context
patreon
Useless: Chapter 8
🕑 Added 2025-07-30 01:39:46 +0000 UTCDan entered his oddly familiar world of debauchery at the Candycade and headed to Joan’s office. When he knocked on her door, he heard nervous shoving of random things into drawers. After a moment, Joan yelled out “enter!”
He cracked the door and peeked in. Joan was looking flushed and she had a sheen to her skin. He shook his head and walked in.
He waved. “How’s it going boss?”
She took a few breaths before lighting up a cigarette. “Just peachy. You need to schedule meetings.”
“Where’s the spontaneity in that Joan?” He grinned as he plopped himself down in a worn chair. Joan’s office was dark and musty, all walls covered in wood paneling. The white-blue light was provided by fluorescent lights. She essentially worked in an old basement.
“Dan, before you head up for the night, we need to talk about your long term plans.” She sighed and flipped through her papers. “You’re making too much money.”
“That’s a bad thing?”
“Not everything is about money when you run a brothel Dan. If a majority of your income comes from a single talent, risk goes up. What happens if you leave? Will the clients not want our other boys? You’ll understand when you take my place.”
Dan felt oddly proud at her statement. “Thank you Joan. I never saw myself as boss material.”
“Don’t thank me yet.” She took a long drag on her 100. “You lose a bit of your soul every day in this business.”
“My long term plans were dashed to pieces last week, boss. I am at your mercy for the time being.”
She paused for a moment before speaking. “You can’t work here anymore.” Joan croaked as she held her head in her hands. “Management thinks it’s better to nip this in the bud now before the bird boys start complaining and fly the coop.”
“Don’t pull this shit on me now Joan.” He stood up and paced.
“We love that you make us money Dan.” The reed thin woman stood up and walked to Dan. “But you’re bringing too much heat down on us, this place isn’t meant to deal with supes.”
“You want me to starve Joan?” He bit his nails. “For fuck sake. I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me, and this is the thanks I get.”
“Stop. Take a breath.” Joan huffed and puffed way too feebly for a woman of her age. “I’m not cutting you out. I just think you need to move up to the major leagues.”
“What?”
“Cloud Nine baby!” Joan did a little dance act that proved she knew nothing about how to dance. “You’ll be number one in no time.”
“You think I deserve to be there, servicing the world's greatest heroes.”
“You deserved to be there when your pecker was getting tugged by Granny in the gloryhole.”
Dan shivered. “Ok, don’t need to see that image again.”
Joan sighed. “The moment you separate business from pleasure is the moment you’ll make millions.”
“If I did that Joan, I’d quit.”
“How poetic.” She tapped her continental into her ashtray.
“OK, let’s say I can hang out with the big boys in a host club for superheroes. Where do you end up?”
“I’m shocked you would think about me.”
“I trust the devil I know more than the devil I don’t.”
She tilted her head. “Thou speakest the truth.”
“Will you be my representation Joan? Standard ten percent. I’m the first male supe. That’s pretty generous.”
“It is.” She took a puff. “I’ll take it.”
“Oh shit.”
“What?”
“If you accepted, I was too generous.” He shook his head. “I was never good at negotiations.”
Joan cackled. “Now you’re getting it bubby.”
“Can you keep your work at Candycade?”
Joan wrapped her cold yellowed fingers around his hand. “Yes, I think so. My life was pretty laid back until you came along. I should be able to handle both jobs. And it’s not like you need me in the room with you.”
“You do have a certain charm.” Dan grinned. “Don’t sell yourself short.”
“Fuck you.” She smiled sincerely.
“Only for you sweetie. I’m assuming this has all been planned out with the higher ups. When do we visit Cloud Nine?”
“The taxi’s been waiting for the past ten minutes dear.” She swooped her coat on her back and smashed her cigarette down into her ashtray. “Let’s go.”
….
Cloud Nine was a nondescript cinderblock building near the pike that had very few windows and even fewer signs. Inside things were a different story. The decor was sleek and modern. The walls looked like they were made of durable materials. Dan walked into its offices with Joan hanging off his arm. He noticed that the number of supes was much higher here than at Hazel and Richardson. The bouncers were much thicker here as well. Some of them danced on the knife's edge between being attractive and scary.
He also noticed that around half of the men that were there had massive muscles and thick necks. A couple of them had cervical collars, like they suffered from whiplash. One guy was in a wheelchair and being carted round by a shapely woman in a sexy nurse’s outfit.
After a short wait they were invited into the manager's office. The room was spacious and well lit from the ceiling and floor. There were no windows, but the walls were floor to ceiling displays. The image displayed made it look like they were actually on the roof of the building rather than inside of it.
A muscular woman sat at a large desk in the center of the room surrounded by computer monitors. The monitors were filled with CCTV feeds of the club, financial charts, news stories, and schedules. She had voluminous purple hair which she wore up in a bun. Dan checked her and saw that she had an average chest, but when she got up to shake hands he saw she had worked hard on her butt, doing lots of squats.
Joan chuckled. “This is Nancy Everetta. She’s my equivalent back at the Candycade. You can see she’s much better paid than I am. Nancy, this is Dan Gadsen, the news called him Emboss.”
Nancy smiled politely and shook their hands. “Pleased to meet you. I hope one day to have the same business savvy as you Joan, I’m only here because I’m super-abled and willing to work in this business.” She offered them a seat.
“Thank you, you’re too kind.” Joan and Dan took their seats. “Also, we appreciate you taking time to consider Dan for employment here. The Candycade feels that he’s outgrown their establishment.”
“If what you’ve told me is true Joan, I don’t see any problem with him starting. We’ll finally have some talent that can handle the needs of our clientele and develop long term customer relationships. Boys at Cloud Nine don’t tend to last very long, either on roids or in a fucksuit.”
“I noticed.” Dan chuckled. “Can your rooms handle the stress of supes?”
“They’re made of advanced metal alloys. No one is going through a wall by accident.” Nancy tapped her full lips with a pen before continuing. “We need to verify your capacity to make money for Cloud Nine. Would you be willing to demonstrate your skills?”
“That sounds reasonable.” Dan shrugged. “No point in hiring me if I can’t perform.”
“I like your attitude Dan, or should I say Emboss.”
“Dan is fine. I doubt I’ll be doing any super hero jobs for the time being.”
Nancy frowned. “That’s too bad. The publicity would have drawn international clients. You don’t need the Fed's permission to do good Dan.”
“I don’t?”
“If you go vigilante, it’s pretty much the same thing, you just don’t get help from the government. You end up doing lower profile work, and less of it. But that fits well with your main work here, right?” She stood up. “That’s enough of that. Why don’t you go through that door and my assistant will bring you to your audition.” She smiled and turned to Joan. “We need to hammer out the contract don’t we? Would you like a Martini while we watch the audition?”
Joan laughed as she croaked. “That sounds wonderful.”
…
A short woman with thick glasses invited Dan to follow through the hallways to a set of double swing doors.
“Ms. Everetta says you have one hour here Mr. Gadsen. You’ll be on camera and evaluated on the satisfaction of the customer. Do your best, the girls in the office are rooting for you.” The girl pushed up her glasses before opening the door for him.
The room was clean and white and tiled on the floor and sides. Along one side of the walls were privacy dividers and several men stationed at stalls between the dividers. It reminded him of a men's room. On the other side was a set of lockers, showers, and benches. A couple of roided out guys were taking a shower and looking rather exhausted. The men in the stalls looked like they were in various states of discomfort. Some banged the wall, other’s bit their fists. All looked like they were getting shoved and tugged every few moments.
Dan cursed. “Gloryhole. I’m back at a fucking gloryhole.”
…
“And you’re sure this is totally anonymous Physalis? No one will know we’ve come here?”
“Yes Sally, supes from New York to Chicago to Quebec come to Cloud Nine, no one’s been outed. The civilians know better than to start a fight with horny supes. You just need to not wear your supe costume when you come here.”
Sally Comet was dressed in a long coat, thick sunglasses and a ball cap. Physalis wore a long overcoat here, but she usually went around nude and changed the surface of her body to make it look like she was simply wearing a supersuit. The slime girl despised wearing any form of clothing, and they usually ended up ruined anyway. They headed to the entrance of Cloud Nine and were welcomed in without much of a fuss.
The pair were handed champagne flutes while they perused the menu.
Sally looked nervous. “I don’t know what to get.”
Physalis rippled after tossing her coat to an server. “Everything is good. Even the bird boys in fucksuits are good at what they do.”
“I haven’t done anything like this. I don’t understand half of what these words mean, and I’m afraid to ask.”
“When you say you haven’t done anything, do you mean anything in a place like this? Or do you mean you still have your V card?”
Sally did her best to feign indignation. “Of course I’ve done it before. I’ve had two very handsome young men do sex on me. You don’t know them, they were from Canada.”
Physalis rolled her eyes. “Sure. Right. Look, we can go two ways with this. Either we get you the deluxe package and make a big deal about it, or we can go the quick route and get it out of the way. Once it’s done you’ll be able to enjoy yourself more.” Physalis extended a long blue tendril to a row on the menu Sally was holding.
Sally sneered quizzically at the word. “Gloryhole?”
…
Sally Comet and Physalis were now wearing bathrobes. Sally was in a booth with a hole in the wall and Physalis leaned on the doorway, the robe getting progressively soaked with blue slime.
Sally was beet red from embarrassment. “So they put it through there. What am I supposed to do?”
“Whatever you want Sally. Suck it, fuck it. I don’t care. Just make sure you get over your hangups about it by the time you’re done. I have a foursome coming up, I gotta run. Just make sure you don’t use too much force or you’ll break his cock, and you’ll have to pay a fee for that. It’s not a cheap fine.”
“Oh, got it. Bye Physalis.”
The door closed and the lights dimmed. Sally covered her mouth in shock as an impressive penis penetrated the wall and hung here.
Sally nervously reached out and touched it. It twiched at her gentle stroking. It was fairly big, but not as big as the ones that Physalis had shown her on the web.
She got on her knees and kept up the light petting, sliding the foreskin back and forth. She talked to it. “So you’re supposed to go in my belly? You don’t seem so scary though.”
After a couple of minutes drips of clear liquid appeared at the tip and dripped down Sally’s cleavage.
“You dripped on me! I must be doing something right.” She put her face next to it and started to peck up and down the shaft. She smelled it. “I think you just had a shower didn’t you. Thanks for making sure you smelled nice.”
The pre-cum dripped faster and the cock twitched more often. “I’m sorry, am I not going fast enough for you? Let’s clean you up a bit.”
She licked the drips from under the shaft and felt the smooth skin of the glans. The tip of her tongue played with the hole at the end slightly before putting the golf ball sized head into her mouth. She suckled on it while gripping it by the shaft. The dripps of fluid became a steady ooze and Sally lost herself in the moment.
The blue eyed blond released her grip and put her palms against the tiled wall. She bobbed her head on the wang and sucked like she had seen in the videos Physalis had shown her. She tried to be as gentle as possible, caring not to bend or snap it. More than anything she wanted to get this thing to come.
“Come on boy, spit for Sally.” She flicked her tongue at the end of it before deep throating it, eventually putting her lips around the hole. She pulled back to the tip and descended to the base. Over and over she did this.
She noticed that the penis was thrusting a little itself. “What? Do you want to do the work? Ok.” She pushed down and took it in her throat and held it there and waited.
Whoever was on the other side got the hint and started to thrust quickly. Sally felt no pain as her as a man’s cock treated her throat like a vagina. He didn’t last long. She could feel something coming so she pulled away and jacked the red rock a few more times before it spewed like a super soaker across the booth to the back wall for a good second before pulsing a few more times.
“My my! Did I do good?” She licked the slightly deflating penis. “Let me clean you up a little.” Just that little bit of licking made it hard again.
“Little guy, can you please make me a woman? Ok, good.” She turned around presented her slit over the tip of the penis and pressed back onto it.
…
The other men in the gloryhole room were starting to look over to Dan, who seemed to be having the time of his life.
“Fuck that’s tight. Shit. Is that blood? Are you a virgin? Girl, ah! You should have asked me, I would have made it special for you.”
One muscle bound man spoke to another. “Is he talking to it?”
“Let the man do his job Ted.” The other man muttered as his dick was pulled into the wall. “Ouch! That’s gonna leave a mark.”
Dan was now furiously fucking the wall for what seemed like ages. His eyebrows furrowed in frustration. “Damn. I want to bend over whoever’s on the other side of this wall. So good!”
The other men tried not to look as he completed, but he was just a bit too vocal. He fell back onto the tiled floor and sat up. “Whoo! What a ride. It’s a shame I’ll never see your face.”
He was about to get a towel and shower off before the next session when there was a loud thud against the wall. Dan spun around and saw the wall was dented out. The tiles had been knocked down and laid in a chaotic mess on the floor. The alloy wall was exposed after the drywall and ceramic tiles were knocked down.
Slam!
Thud!
Slam!
Dent after dent appeared on the wall. All the bodybuilders and others screamed and ran for the exit. Dan felt safe because he was a supe, and he was curious. A couple of guys stayed in the doorway to see if he would escape as well.
The metal alloy wall started to glow as if it was being heated. A few seconds later two beams of blue white pierced through the wall and quickly traced a circle and stopped.
Slam!
The circular cutout of metal popped off the wall and slammed onto the ground, cracking the floor. A naked woman shot out of the opening and pounced on Dan.
“Sally Comet?! What are you doing here?”
Sally was flushed and her chest heaved from deep breaths. Her eyes glowed blue white, and her blonde hair a tangled mess. Her exquisite body glistened with sweat.
She looked at a female attendant who just came into the room and yelled. “Get … me… a room… NOW!”
