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The Blue-Eyes Ultimate Girlfriend (Yugioh Kaiba TF) Draft
🕑 Added 2024-10-13 23:42:23 +0000 UTC“Duel!”
Kaiba: “I’m impressed with your Boldness, Wheeler. After the last time I stomped you into the ground I had the impression that you had your full share of beatings for one lifetime. But if you want to get crushed a second time, then I guess I don’t have a choice.”
Joey: “Keep telling yourself that Kaiba! But this time I came prepared with a secret weapon that I got from my friends just for you! And with that I will prove to you that it's about more than just winning in this duel!”
Kaiba: “Whatever you say. I guess You really have learned nothing. I’ll go first. DRAW!
Alright Wheeler, show me if you have learned anything since the last time. I summon the Maiden with eyes of blue in attack mode. And that’s it.”
Kaiba: <Knowing this moron he will just attack into her and trigger her effect. And when that happens, the Duel is as good as over.>
Joey: “Now I am up! DRAW!
You are disappointing Kaiba! Just summoning a 0 Attack monster is so unlike you. Even my Time Wizard can beat that, and that's not even normally a card I use for attacking. Still, I summon Time Wizard in Attack mode! Go! And destroy Kaiba's poor maiden!”
Kaiba: “You know, I expected more from you. I’ll activate the effect of my “poor Maiden” as you called her. Because when she is attacked, not only do I get to negate your attack, I also get to grab a certain dragon from my deck. One that is sure to blast your face away next turn. I summon the Blue-eyes white Dragon directly from my deck!”
Joey: “Ack! Already? Damn you are good…”
Kaiba: “Anything is possible if your opponent is a fool. Do you have anything left to do? Besides giving up that is.”
Kaiba: <He could activate Time Wizard here. Would be telling. If he is willing to risk that effect that means that nothing in his hand can beat a single Blue-eyes.>
Joey: “You might have forgotten, but my Time Wizard has a special ability too! Time Roulette, GOOO!”
Kaiba: <...pathetic>
Joey: “AHA! It’s a success! All your monsters, both your dragon and your maiden are now destroyed.”
Kaiba: “Whatever am I going to do?”
Kaiba: <This is a waste of time. Next turn I'll just monster reborn my Blue eyes and then it's over. Thanks for letting me get my dragon out of my deck, idiot.>
Joey: But that’s not all. I’ll set one card and then activate my super secret weapon card. I activated the Transmorphing Blaster Gate!
Kaiba: “Oho? Definitely a card that doesn't belong to you because you wouldn’t be smart enough to play a field spell otherwise.”
Joey: “That smirk of yours is about to vanish, because I immediately activate its effect! You see, once per turn I get to banish a card from either of our graveyards. And when I do that, I get to inflict 800 direct damage to you and have that banished card inflict transforming damage to you!”
Kaiba: <Transfoming damage? I have never heard of that before. More importantly I guess he isn’t as dumb as I thought. My plan falls apart if he banishes blue-eyes…>
Joey: “And I banish your Maiden with eyes of Blue from your Graveyard to deal 800 damage to you!”
Kaiba: <Never mind. That guy is a moron. I almost forgot.>
Joey: “As well as Maiden with eyes of Blue transforming damage! Go!”
Kaiba’s LP: 3200
Kaiba: “Hnn…?!?”
Kaiba: <What’s this? What’s happening? My entire body… feels strange… hot. Am I shrinking? I am shrinking! Hn… not my… chest though… What's this…? Mounds? Breasts? Is he… turning me into a woman? How dare he! No one in the whole wide world is allowed to take away the Kaiba crown jewels…>
Kaiba: “Ah! Hyaaa!”
Kaiba: <...they are gone. Nothing left. This guy sure has nerves. Hmm. Naturally I still look amazing, just a lot more beautiful than handsome. Decent breasts, nice curve, nice hips… guess I am still the best looking one in all of Duelist kingdom. And the longer hair really complements that too.>
Joey: “Holy macaroni, that actually worked! Be careful Kaiba, as this gate still has many more shots to go! And now you are…”
Kaiba: “...no longer the most handsome man, but instead the most beautiful woman on the island. An incredible achievement you made there. Now it’s my turn. DRAW!
You are nothing but an insolent fool if you think that turning me into a woman will do anything close to stopping me! I’ll Summon Blade Knight in Attack position. And then I’ll follow it up by activating Monster Reborn!”
Joey: “Oh no!”
Kaiba: “I mean, you were kind enough to let me get my Blue eyes into my graveyard and then not banish it. I guess the best I can do now is thank you for it with a Burst stream to the face! Blade Knight! Destroy his Time Wizard!”
Joey’s LP: 2900
Joey: “Ack!”
Kaiba: “Now let’s end this. One Blue-Eyes burst stream, right to the face!”
Joey: Not so fast, Kaiba! I activate my face-down card: Scapegoat! It allows me to summon four sheep tokens right to the field to block your attack!
Kaiba: …you always have pointless cards that do nothing but delay the inevitable, don’t you? Alright then. Three tokes left before your demise. I'll set two cards facedown. Show me what other tricks you have left.
Joey: “Gladly. DRAW!
Heh. With this card I can even beat your stupid dragon! Time to go all out!”
Kaiba: <Here he goes again. I bet he is going to try to destroy my Blue-Eyes with something that only works for a single turn, and then he will be heartbroken when he finds out he can't banish it because I have a Call of the Haunted. This is too predictable.>
Joey: “I summon Panther Warrior and then immediately equip it with my Megamorph spell card from my hand! Now, as long as my Life Points are lower than yours, the attack points of my monster are doubled! Time to get rid of that Blue-eyes once and for all! I’ll sacrifice a sheep token to allow my 4000 Attack point monster to attack. Take that Dragon down!”
Kaiba: “...Predictable. Interesting. Has your incompetence now extended to your monster that you can’t even inflict damage to me anymore?”
Joey: “Oh that. No, that's actually a negative effect of my field spell. As long as Transmorphing Blaster Gate is on the field, you can’t actually take battle damage from me.”
Kaiba: “So you are even sabotaging yourself by now. What a truly pathetic life.”
Joey: “Hey! For that I’ll activate my Transmorphing Blaster Gate right now! I’ll banish your Blue-Eyes white Dragon from your Graveyard to deal 800 damage to you!”
Kaiba: “You know, you are so easy to read you would make the Duel monsters rulebook jealous. I activate Call of the haunted! this allows me to bring back my dragon before your gate can banish it!”
Joey: “Not so fast! From my hand I activate Mystical Space Typhoon to destroy your trap before it can bring back the dragon! Now take transformation damage from your own favorite Dragon!!!”
Kaiba: “Huh. Maybe he has learned a thing or two about dueling since last time.”
Kaiba’s Lp: 2400
Kaiba: <Hnn! Again?!? What is this transformation damage? Ack! I feel my body moving and my head… my ears… wait. Are these… spikes. Ack! And wings! Blue-Eyes wings. Ugh! And a tail too?!? I am starting to look like a duel monsters… monster. This isn’t good, whatever it is that Wheeler is planning, I have to counter it!>
Kaiba: “Stop that nonsense! My turn! DRAW!”
Kaiba: <My hand isn’t exactly all that good. I have two blue eyes in hand, a dragon’s mirror and a Burial from a different dimension. If I was able to put my two dragons into the Graveyard, I would be able to to Summon my Ultimate dragon, but as it is now…>
Kaiba: “I’ll set two more cards face-down! Then Blade Knight, Attack that annoying Panther!”
Joey: “But my Panther warrior has 4000 Attack Points…”
Kaiba: “...in cases where one can compare basic numbers that is. But since your life points are now higher than mine, your little guy now only has 1000 Points. Thanks to your insistence to keep playing cards that help me.”
Joey’s LP: 2300
Joey: “Ugh. Yeah, that was a slight miscalculation.”
Kaiba: “Keep telling yourself that.”
Joey: “My turn! DRAW!
I’ll start by activating Reasoning! You now get to call a level and I get to flip cards from the top of my deck until I hit a monster! Should the level be the number you called, then it goes to the Graveyard. But should you have guessed wrong, then it is special summoned straight to the field! Now go on Kaiba! Give me your best guess!
Kaiba: <Ugh, now i have to think what this moron has in his deck? There is a Red-Eyes black dragon… and a whole lot of trash.>
Kaiba: “I’ll call 7. Let’s see your luck in action again, Wheeler.”
Joey: “And it's… hehehe! Thanks for setting so many traps facedown. Time for a blowout! I’ll Special Summon the one and only level 6 Jinzo from my deck! Go! Trapbuster! Get rid of all of Kaiba’s traps right now!”
Kaiba: “…”
Joey: “…”
Kaiba: “…”
Joey: “Huh? No traps?”
Kaiba: “Took you long to catch on.”
Joey: “Uhm… well. Then I activate Amplifier and equip it to Jinzo! Now You still can’t use trap cards, but my own Trap cards are no longer stopped by the effect of my Jinzo!”
Kaiba: “Or in other words you tell me to the face that your face-down card is a trap card and you would love to activate it.”
Joey: “…”
Kaiba: “For your information: I am planning to open a Duel Academy in the near future. One of the classes that will be taught there is 'Basic Bluffing'. Would you like me to enroll you in the amateur course when it's ready?”
Joey: “I’ll attack your Blade Knight with my Jinzo!”
Kaiba: “And I will still take no damage because of your Field spell. I really appreciate your concern for holding back, it really was not necessary.”
Joey: “Grr! Then I’ll activate my Transmorphing Blaster Gate effect again!”
Kaiba: “Let me guess. You are banishing Blade Knight? God you are so predictable.”
Joey: “I’ll banish my own Megamorph to deal 800 Damage to you. And Transforming damage… to your breasts! That’s right! I’m targeting your mammaries!”
Kaiba’s LP: 1600
Kaiba: <There is no way that is legal. BUt why… do I feel… my boobs growing. Ack. Okay, that's enough, stop. Stop! Damn, these things just keep getting bigger. How much is that megamorph expanding them. Hnn…>
Kaiba: “Gah! Finally over.”
Joey: “...Holy… I mean! There you go! Finally, some part of your body that is as big as your ego!”
Kaiba: “You are starting to be annoying on a completely new level. DRAW!
Alright, then time to show you what a big monster looks like! I activate Card Destruction! Now both of us discard their entire hands and draw that many new cards!”
Joey: “Damn. I really would have liked to keep…”
Kaiba: “No one cares. I discard 2 very familiar faces, the other two copies of Blue-Eyes white Dragon and draw two cards. Good. I’ll set one of them facedown and then activate Burial from a different Dimension. This allows me to return a banished card back to my Graveyard.”
Joey: “So all three of your dragons are in the Graveyard now? What does that achieve…?”
Kaiba: “Now I’ll activate my other face-down: Dragon’s mirror! This allows me to fusion summon using Dragons from my Graveyard!”
Joey: “Ah!”
Kaiba: “Have you finally caught on? I banish all three of my dragons myself to Fusion Summon your demise! Here comes the Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon!”
Joey: “Yeah, that's a big one.”
Kaiba: “And it’s coming right for your face! Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon! Attack Jinzo and end this duel right here and now!”
Joey: “Huh? But my Jinzo has 2400 Attack. And your dragon only has 4500. Doesn’t that leave me with 200 left?”
Kaiba: “That is if your Jinzo has 2400 attack points! I activate Shrink from my hand. Now your Jinzo is just half the Monster you thought it was! Good Night, Wheeler!”
Joey: “I activate Nutrient Z! If I am taking over 2000 damage, I gain 4000 Life Points before the damage!”
Joey’s LP: 3000
Kaiba: “Again with those cards that just delay the inevitable. Tell you what. You better build up some sort of defense this turn, because if you don’t, I will blast you off the face of the planet next turn. And no amount of your trap cards can save you then!”
Joey: “We will see about that! DRAW!”
Kaiba: <He will 100% try to get rid of my dragon. All I have to do is sit and watch him squirm… gosh, those boobs sure are heavy. They look bigger than my head… I can’t even see my feet anymore.>
Joey: “Hehe! You won’t like that! From my hand I activate the Spell card Change of Heart! With that your Dragon will have a little Owner switcheroo for a turn!”
Kaiba: “Would be a shame if you couldn’t deal damage to me.”
Joey: “You just watch! I activate Tribute Doll! For the cost of tributing one monster I am allowed to Special Summon any Level 7 monster from my Hand. Guess what monster is Level 7? My Red-Eyes Black Dragon! And guess what monster I will offer as a tribute! Your Ultimate Dragon!”
Kaiba: <Creative play. I usually only see top level duelists go for things like that, kinda surprised that Wheeler knew he could do that.>
Joey: “But that’s not all! I’ll also summon my Swordsman of Landstar to the field!”
Kaiba: “500 Attack. No effects. Bottom of the garbage bin level of card.”
Kaiba: <So I say, but I do know that Wheeler plays a few cards that specifically need lower attack monsters. You would rather catch me be dead than playing that trash, but it's important to keep in mind.>
Joey: “Grr… You’ll see. I set one card face-down.”
Kaiba: <That's most likely that synergy card. Can’t be too powerful I'm sure.>
Joey: “Now I activate the effect of my Transmorphing Blaster Gate again! And since I so kindly tributed your ultimate dragon, I’ll now banish it to deal 800 points of lifepoint and emotional damage to you! and by emotional, I mean transforming damage!”
Kaiba’s LP: 800
Kaiba: <My Ultimate Dragon… Oh no… Ugh… my… my shoulders. It feels like its ripping me appart. There are… things growing from my… neck? Are these>
Kaiba 2: <More heads?>
Kaiba 3: <This is so strange.>
Kaiba 1: <I guess it makes sense. My Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon had three heads too. This will just be very strange to… continue.>
Kaiba1,2&3: “DRAW!”
Joey: “...”
Kaiba 2: “Well if you are already enamored with our beautiful form, then let us show you the true power of the best duelist to ever exist! I activate my face down: Return from a different dimension!”
Kaiba 3: “For the price of half of our Life Points…”
Kaiba’s Lp: 400
Kaiba 1: “This card allows us to Special Summon every single banished monster! Which means Blue-Eyes number one, two and three as well as Blue-Eyes Ultimate dragon! Return to our side of the field!”
Joey: Gulp
Kaiba 1: “We are not going to let a single one of your monsters live! Blue-Eyes one and two! Get those remaining two sheep tokens out of my sight!”
Joey: “Ack.”
Kaiba 2: “Now Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon! Show that measly Red-Eyes how you feel about being tributed for its summon!”
Joey’s LP: 900
Joey: “Ugh! That’s not good.”
Kaiba 3: “And finally, since you so graciously left your Swordsman in Attack mode, let’s see if the Hero is strong enough to take down a dragon! Blue-Eyes! Burst stream of destruction!”
Joey: “I activate my face-down! Graceful Dice! When a monster with 500 or less Attack points battles, I get to roll a die! And then it’s attack gets multiplied by that number!”
Kaiba 1,2&3: “That was your grand plan?!? You rely on luck to beat our Dragon?!?”
Joey: “Here I go! Roll the die!!!”
Joey: “5!!! Its a 5!!!”
Kaiba 1: “2500 Attack is still not enough to beat my dragon!”
Joey’s LP: 400
Joey: “That might be, but do you have any more attacks?”
Kaiba 1,2&3: “...”
Joey: “You truly were a worthy opponent Kaiba. You beat me over and over again, but I told you I would get up. I would come back as many times as it takes. And this duel now becomes really special to me! DRAW!!!”
Kaiba 1: “...Tsk.”
Joey: “Before I finish it, I want to ask another question. Does this duel make you feel better about me? Not as a duelist, but as a friend!”
Kaiba 1: “Don’t take that word into your mouth. We are not friends!”
Kaiba 2: “If you want to hear our opinion about you as a duelist, then yes, we agree that you improved.”
Kaiba 3: “But you will always stay a third rated duelist with a fourth rate deck! And I would rather rip my deck apart than call you a friend! You got that?”
Joey: “Perfect! Then I guess I go for it! I activate my Transmorphing Blaster Gate banishing my own Change of Heart! And I am targeting that exact feeling of yours you have just described!”
Kaiba 1,2&3: “HUH?!?”
Kaiba Lp: 0
Kaiba 1: <That feeling I just described? The one that I hate him?>
Kaiba 2: <Must be. There is no way that is possible, right? Although Wheeler is a pretty strong duelist, so maybe?>
Kaiba 3: <There is no way anyone change the way we think, right?>
Kaiba 1: <Especially not with a Change of Heart card! We are no monster!>
Kaiba 2: <I guess that mean that we lost to Joey just now.>
Kaiba 3: <Seems like it. Never thought he would actually be able to take us down.>
Kaiba 2: <With that he is now officially in the top league, isn’t he?>
Kaiba 1: <One of the greatest Duelists of all times. Together with us and the Pharao.>
Kaiba 2: <Gosh how I want to invite him out into a cafe and talk about cards with him so badly…>
Kaiba 1&3: <Me toooo…>
Kaiba 1: “Erhem… I guess you won this duel fair and square.”
Joey: “It… It seems like it. Huh… are you not changing back…?”
Kaiba 2: “We might not have stakes in this duel, but my honor demands that you need to be rewarded for your achievement. Ask anything of us. Anything at all.”
Joey: “...what if I said that I want to go on a date with such a pretty… dragon lady like you?”
Kaiba 3: “Ohohoho~ Bold, aren’t we?”
Kaiba 2: “A date it is. I think I already know the perfect place to be.”
Kaiba 1: “How about we head to Leblanc’s coffee shop. The coffee is entirely on me.”
Joey: <Scoooore! I don’t know why this thing is still holding on and why he isn’t turning back, but who cares! Time for a date with a big tiddy three headed dragon girl! Yippee!>
—
When your Blue-Eyes Ultimate Girlfriend starts whipping out her credit card, you know shits about to go down.
Drawn by ThatFreakGivz
