G. Kitsune
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The Soul Reborn: From Silence to Sovereignty Chapter 46
🕑 Added 2025-06-21 02:52:35 +0000 UTCChapter 46: Pieces of Who I Was
A few days had passed since Noah left. They were quiet, but not exactly peaceful.
Every knock at the door made my heart jump, thinking maybe he was back, but of course I knew… I still had a long way to go.
We were with each other most of the day; he would invite me to his office when he was working just to stay close. I had no issues with it, and he would also share what’s going on in the world.
Being cooped up in this room was starting to become draining; I needed to get out and take a walk to get some much-needed sun and exercise.
I walked toward the beautiful water feature Noah had gifted me, a peaceful spot that always brought back one of my favorite memories, our wedding.
The grand water feature sat in the heart of the garden, a cascading stone sculpture built just for me. All because I casually mentioned I wanted something like that. Of course, he went and created the most outrageous one imaginable, hehe.
I sat on the marble bench nearby, the one with the best view. The sound of trickling water and the gentle rise of streams spouting into the air were always breathtaking. Rainbows shimmered from one arc to the next, dancing in the light. Noah had built a replica of the fountain he created for me here in Coldmere.
My thoughts drifted as I sat there for a while. I didn’t know how much time had passed, and I didn’t really care. Just being there brought me peace, knowing that in a way Noah was still here, because this was one of the first places he ever truly showed me his heart.
But… of course it didn’t take too long for negative thoughts to start invading my mind.
What if something happens to Noah out there?
What if something strikes here while we’re vulnerable?
What if I don’t make it long enough to meet our daughter?
My hand curled gently over my stomach, protective and instinctive. My little Lyra, the soul I swore I would cherish. The one who gifted me a second chance and I will repay her for that favor tenfold.
“But, I’m scared,” I whispered to myself, afraid of the types of people in this world. Some are ruthless, unafraid to kill. Right now, I’m pregnant without my protector, feeling more vulnerable than ever.
Before, I was able to put on a strong front because I had the right support behind me. Now, I feel exposed, like the entire world can see straight through me. Kellan and Bors would protect me if anything happened, of course, but nothing can take Noah’s place in my heart.
Sometimes it feels like everything here runs on clichés. Did my preemptive attacks on certain people who could have harmed me in the future actually achieve something?
The crown prince is silent, our maids haven’t tried anything foolish, and nobles are afraid to look at me the wrong way. Coldmere is starting to change for the better, and we even cleaned up some filthy people who tried to thrive in our territory.
I turned slightly, glancing over at Livia, who was standing nearby, quiet and vigilant as ever. She’d always been there with that silent strength. Never asking too many questions and always giving me the benefit of the doubt no matter what I said to her.
Maybe… it was time to tell someone else. If it was her, she was my main conversation partner, and not being able to talk about my past world with her was annoying.
It was a small distraction; just enough to take my mind off whatever Noah might be facing right now. A way to pull me out of this spiral of anxiety and tell Livia of a world she never knew existed.
I always had a bright smile when Noah would show an astonished face from something I explained about Earth. You know, I wonder what this world is called. I’ve never thought to ask.
“Livia,” I said softly, catching her attention.
She looked over, her face unreadable as always, but it won’t stay that way for long, hehe.
“Do you… want to know something only one other person knows about me?” I asked with a smirk growing on my face. “Even with unlimited guesses, I’m sure not even in a hundred years would you be able to predict what I’m about to say.”
She raised one eyebrow. “Sure… tell me.” Livia was so resolute, as if she had already guessed it, but I think not.
Her voice was as calm as ever, but I caught a flicker in her eyes. She was definitely curious because she knew I was never exactly normal to begin with.
I took a deep breath.
“Alright,” I said, meeting Livia’s eyes. “Please don’t interrupt until I’m completely finished with what I’m about to say.”
She simply nodded once, the picture of composure, though I noticed her hands tightened ever so slightly at her sides.
“Also… try to keep an open mind.”
She nodded, patiently waiting for me to finally say something after all that buildup.
Good… I glanced back at the rippling water before I began to speak.
“This body,” I began slowly, “wasn’t mine originally.”
Her eyes flickered, but she said nothing.
“About a year before I met Noah, something happened. I don’t know why or how, but my soul was taken from a completely different world and placed into this body.”
I left the words hanging in the air for a moment.
"I woke up carrying her memories, and they were horrifying. Abuse, isolation, and being denied even the most basic dignity. For an entire year, I relived everything those memories revealed, lucky me."
Livia’s lips parted slightly, but she didn't interrupt.
“This is the cherry on top of them all,” I went on with a deep breath. “I was actually male in that other world.”
I let the truth settle like dust over still air.
“For a long time I was absolutely furious at my predicament. I rejected this body, and for a while I hated it. To think I would end up with a man after being one in a past life. At first I absolutely refused to feel anything for Noah.” I smiled like an idiot. “But I guess that never worked out, hehe.”
A sigh escaped me at the absurdity of my story to someone in this world; I can only hope she believes me.
“But then something shifted inside me. After meeting Noah and beginning to accept this as my reality, I started to change and became more like her with each passing day.”
After looking down during most of my words, I looked up and met Livia’s eyes.
"Noah stopped feeling like a stranger. He no longer seemed distant or out of reach just because he was a man. Real feelings began to grow, partly because he always appeared when I needed him most. Right place, right time, I guess. Still, I know what I feel now is genuine."
Somewhere along the way, his hand stopped feeling like a rescue and more like home.
“By the time we married, I had already decided he was mine. I loved him, and I couldn’t imagine my life without him anymore.”
Livia's expression fluctuated a lot during my words, but she let me finish before letting her thoughts be known.
“That’s why… When I said the other day I wasn’t attracted to any other man, I meant it. I’ve never found men attractive, even for that year I was in Seraphina’s body before I met Noah, but with him it’s just different. Don’t know why.”
I placed my hand gently on my belly.
“But here’s the part that’ll really make you think I’ve lost it.”
Livia leaned forward slightly, like she was riveted by my tale.
"When I became pregnant, I had what felt like a dream, though perhaps it was something more. I met the original soul of this body, still living quietly within me. We embraced and cried together. I was told by her how proud she was of the life I had built and how I had turned things around."
My smile softened.
“She thanked me and said I gave her life meaning. Then…” I looked down at my stomach.
“Her soul became this child. She’s here, I can feel her.” Finally, I looked back at Livia.
She stood frozen, the ever-stoic maid whose calm expression rarely changed. Her eyes were wide, lips parted, as if her breath had caught halfway out.
“I know,” I said with a little laugh, tilting my head, “Crazy, right?”
She stared at me for a long moment, probably trying to figure out if what I said was true or bullshit. Then her voice, quiet but steady, broke the silence.
“That’s the most absurd, impossible, unbelievable thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”
Livia took a few steps forward. “But… it also explains so much.”
“I swear it, Livia. Not a word I’ve said to you was false.” Thinking back to Noah’s immediate acceptance, I couldn’t help smiling. “I’ve already told Noah, and he accepted everything.”
She seemed to be taking it very similarly to Noah; I expected as much. These two have seen how… different I am from everyone else.
“He simply said I’m not the person who I was in the past, and he’s only ever known the woman in front of him.”
That night was one filled with anxiety and then relief, hehe. Of the sexual nature, finally finding out what it was truly like to become a woman.
“The longer I lived in this body, the more it felt like mine. This is who I was always meant to become. The lines between who I once was and who I am now have completely blended together over time.”
I lowered my gaze briefly, my hand gently resting over my stomach.
“Upon the original becoming my daughter, I felt this body become mine in body and soul at that time, completely.”
I smiled. “I mean, come on… By some miracle, I’m literally carrying a reincarnated soul inside me. Isn’t that amazing? She lingered just long enough to meet me, to be held, and now she’s getting a second chance.”
My head shook in disbelief to think I could do such a thing, but at the time I just accepted it. When thinking back, it really is an impossible event that happened.
“I know how unbelievable this all sounds… But really, was anything about me ever ordinary?”
Livia’s mouth curved into a smile; that was something she could get behind. I chuckled at her honesty because I understood.
“I walk, talk, and rule in ways no one in this world understands. The nobles think I’m insane. How I’ve given lectures to noble girls when I’ve never even learned the basic knowledge of this world.”
Another small laugh escaped me.
“Honestly,” I said, glancing back up at her. “With the way I am so far outside the box of conventional thinking in this world, is it really that hard to believe?”
“No,” Livia affirmed. “It’s really not.”
She stepped closer, knelt beside me at the edge of the fountain, and gently took my hand.
“I don’t know if I can fully understand all of it,” she said honestly. “But I believe you.”
Her eyes, for once, weren’t solemn or guarded.
“You’ve never needed anyone’s permission to be who you are, and I think… this explains why.”
I smiled at her warm comment.
“You’re not weird, Your Grace,“ Livia added with a hint of amusement. “You’re just… otherworldly.”
“Now that’s a compliment I’ll happily accept.” Leaning back on the bench, brushing a strand of hair out of my face, I caught Livia staring at me like she was processing… well, everything.
“Let me tell you some more fascinating stuff,” I said, trying not to smirk too much because I knew it would blow her mind. “The world I originally came from is so far advanced compared to this one, it’s honestly laughable.”
Her eyes widened at my words.
“No, seriously,” I went on, growing more animated. “With just a handful of heavily armed individuals carrying the most advanced weaponry, they could probably wipe an entire kingdom off the map in a single afternoon.”
Livia blinked. “You’re exaggerating.”
“I’m really not.” I leaned forward, lowering my voice like I was telling her a campfire secret. “We had these things called nuclear bombs. One of them placed in the correct spot could destroy Coldmere in a matter of seconds. There would be nothing left but a giant crater, and nothing in this world could stop it.”
I wasn’t completely sure how advanced magic was, but stopping a nuke seemed extremely unlikely.
“But that’s not all,” I added, grinning. “You know the stars in the sky? In my world, they actually built a rocket that could launch people into space. We landed on the moon, Livia.
She just stared at me, unmoving.
“They walked on it, left flags, and took pictures.” I let that sink in. “Also… there were these massive flying machines made of metal, shaped like birds with wings. They could carry over a hundred people through the air and cross entire oceans in less than a day.”
Livia’s expression had morphed from surprise to faint disbelief and then fascination.
“I mean, arriving in a world like this with no plumbing, no electricity, and hospitals that felt more like medieval torture chambers? Shock doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt at first.” Through magic you can get hot baths, but it's still not as quick as proper plumbing.
“Can you truly adapt to this world after that one?” The look on Livia’s face was one that seemed to accept everything I said; that’s good.
Noah and Livia are my greatest supporters in this world. They believe in me, even when what I say sounds impossible. I never take that trust for granted, and I’m truly grateful for it.
I chuckled softly and then nodded.
“At first, I hated it,” I admitted. “But now, this place holds the people I care about. I’ve accepted it as my fate, and that choice brought me peace. I no longer long for the world I came from. Instead, with Noah at my side, I’ll do everything I can to bring the knowledge and progress of my past life to Coldmere.”
A soft sigh escaped me.
“Well… until he had to leave.”
The quiet returned, broken only by the gentle rush of water nearby.
Livia spoke up… “Your world… It sounds like a place where gods live.”
I shook my head.
“No, just people with god complexes who keep coming up with even more insane technology. The most dangerous being… new types of weapons designed to end the whole world entirely.”
She nodded thoughtfully, I'm sure still trying to wrap her head around all this information I just dropped on her.
Now two individuals knew about my origins in this world. I had no plans of bringing anyone else into our little group, unless something insane happens in the future.
A possible flag, hmm… maybe?
