Pfatter University
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The Consu.m3 Virus
🕑 Added 2025-03-26 00:12:40 +0000 UTCWhoa! Pfatter University is just now recovering from a week-long cyberattack. Every device on campus was somehow infected by something called the Consu.m3 virus, causing all cell phones, computer monitors, and TV’s to display a hypnotic pattern 24/7. Anyone unlucky (or lucky?) enough to get caught staring into it succumbed to an insatiable appetite, consuming any nearby food as quickly as possible. If they ran out, they rabidly ordered and consumed mountain of takeout, mindlessly tossing their trash out the window. The traffic jam of UberEats and GrubHub delivery drivers has only just cleared up, and our groundskeepers are working overtime to clear all the styrofoam containers and candy wrappers off the quad.
Carlos, a computer science major, was the one who finally cracked the code, ridding our network of Consu.m3. He was able to isolate it to a local, protected server in our computer lab. Always a curious student, he began to run some diagnostics and was very impressed by what he found. He once suspected that Chiseld College had launched the attack, returning the favor after Pfatter pranked them with GroBig - but this code was far too advanced for those thick-headed jocks.
He couldn’t help but tinker with the code a little, tweaking things here and there. Late last night, he thought he had made a breakthrough, enhancing Consu.m3’s power exponentially as his greed getting the best of him. Suddenly, his waistline lurched forward as his belly bloated, as if being inflated by an invisible force. He clutched his gut as it lurched again, losing his balance as fat surged forward in all directions. Now seated on the floor, his fat thighs spread across the cool concrete as his now-flabby chest drooped and his face got lost in layers of fat.
Carlos, nearly unrecognizable, quietly cursed himself for going too far. At least he was out of sight of the hypnotizing screen … or he had been, until one of the lab’s monitors surrpetitioisly lowered itself from the ceiling. His gaze was drawn to the familiar spiral pattern glowing brighter than ever. Carlos gulped, bracing for the next wave of fat to envelope his already-enormous body …
Comments
Johnny Gayzmonic
Carlos is less Patient Zero and more Patient 10XL.
