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BarCalak
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1st Move: Kindling

🕑 Added 2024-04-01 06:35:58 +0000 UTC

Comments

Bar Calak

Definitely. No story without an end point, no fun adventure without a goal. Not to worry I have a good stroy (IMO) in mind. haha.

Bar Calak

Pokemon is where I go to relax. Games and now work, too. Im excited to take my story down routes i don't think have been explored that much before and I hope you enjoy it!

Pope Yoda I

Interested to see a pokefic come from your direction. So far? Not bad. It was a bit disconcerting how quickly you had MC upend established scientific dogma, though. I realize MC would have an advantage as an SI, but his established partners would only have his own word and expertise to go on. Remember that, despite foreknowledge, MC is himself not a scientist and probably lacks the foundation (and mindset) needed to do more than give generalized overviews of complex concepts. Imagine, if you will, an alien popping out of your kitchen one day while your about to make toast and trying to convince you that you can fly - all you have to do is believe in yourself and jump off your roof. Next item - last one, I promise - would be to reinforce that "adventure" only works when there is direction. The world there is vast, and it's easy to loose your plot thread if all your MC does is wander. I've seen that happen to pretty much every generalized poke adventure story I've ever read, so be cautious you don't give the story enough rope to hang it. That said, I look forward to seeing where you go from here. Hopefully this will give you a bit more creative outlet than your other story allows.

Evertime

Based on the title I thought this was absolutely gonna be a worm fic but I'm IMMENSELY SUPRISED AND HAPPY. Pokefics are usually my favorite, nothing has got me to sub harder than pokemon, it holds a special place in my cold 9 to 5 heart

Bar Calak

Thanks for the praise and especially thanks for the feedback! With the dust clouds I sincerely see your point - especially with how it's a quirk with the game mechanics. But similar to time travel, evolution, aura, teleportation, etc. I just consider it an aspect of the pokemon world that sets it apart from ours. That said, food for thought (for me) on what elements may translate better or worse in text. Someone very well may have, just like the mc never told Mr Pokemon how he got hoot hoot to learn ember, maybe loads of others also use this technique. Point is like with other move tutors they aren't sharing how. Can't have tricks without the trade! The name stuff is true, he's just immediately recognizable with that moniker so I used it out of laziness. Fair call. I'm glad you liked it so far and there's so many more mechanics I'm excited to explore.

Heraclitus

Generally, I really enjoyed the chapter and can't wait for more. The theory crafting for the gems was really quite cool though. As was the move-training. A ton of potential there. That being said, my biggest pokemon pet peeve is when author's take things literally from the games in a way that seems a bit silly to me. Like someone literally being named Mr. Pokemon, instead of that being some kind of tongue-in-cheek title or nickname. It'd be like someone being named Mr. Human, you know? Or the elemental gems being found in literal dust clouds. That's an obvious game mechanic that reads odd in a story-format. Maybe have them be found near where certain pokemon live. So perhaps they can be found growing near slugma colonies or whatever. At least that makes more sense to me than magical dust clouds. I also think that having the MC be the first ever to think of doing this is a bit awkward. No one has had the thought to use the type energy amplifying gems to teach type energy? Really? More likely would be that anyone who has had the idea, kept it to themselves as a natural advantage for their teams. The MC being the first to spread the word to an academic. All that in mind, it was a delightful chapter.

Bar Calak

Hopefully I can keep my characterizations up and distinct, thanks!

Bar Calak

You're welcome!

Bar Calak

You and me both! Just easier to write more grown up charas too.

Bar Calak

How was it?

Cedric Kochs

Very good start! I love the snark 😁

arydr

Thank you!

Rivo

Aged up to 16? Thank god. I cringe inside every time I read about a 10 year old going it alone in the world of Pokemon.

Haricharan Raghunathan

New fic? Here I come!!


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