84 - A Salty Valentine's

salmaa

arab parents finding arab restaurants anywhere and everywhr e in the world is SO REAL

Grace

Hamzah complaining about getting no hoes as if he doesn’t have 300k people thirsting after him is crazy (I am one of these people)

Ashley Endean

Hamzah in his glasses is my bias

Susana

nothing better than listening to the podcast while running #motivation ‼️

eloise heeks

ever since subbing to ur patreon im addicted to cleaning my kitchen. something abt that sweetiepie voice just makes me bust out the all purpose cleaner! thanks a bunch hamzah

Ony

thank you for the episode!! Loved it!! I dont trust anybody that soft launches as an adult.

sage

i love getting high & playing this podcast

Valerie

hamzah what do you think about chicago i’m curious since u grew up in illinois

Harley

i also hate soft launching like you said we are adults!! pls just post ur boo on valentine’s day on ur story if you aren’t together the next month you don’t gotta worry

Kenz

is Madison beer in here? 🧿🧿🧿taxes will be paid off in no time

Noor M

How do I change my profile picture u can’t tell I’m a hot and sexi girl💔 only panda

Erin Kopatich

i downloaded patreon just to sub lmao

Jessie Amador

hamzah ur so goated thanks for always making me smile haha love u lol jk that would be weird right, my gf typed this btw maybe lol ok bye

cat

just subbed i’m watching this as i play minecraft

Rim Elnabouche

Subbing for a year here was the best investment ever

A

I may have mild contamination ocd but pls wash ur new clothes unless u know exactly how and where they were made it’s v unlikely that they’re cleaned after they’re finished & ready for sale

literally just subscribed to your patreon to support your stance on not washing brand new clothes.

ruby larue

Hamzah I come here from youtube to vindicate you, i have never in my life heard of washing brand new clothes from the store. u were being gaslit and i stand with you

fargo

Relapsed on out of character patreon. I thought I was done here.

Kyle Vaccaro

Come to new orleans i think you would really enjoy the second lines and insane encounters

charlize

unfortunately i am not ur charlize 😔😔 but i can be ur charlize #2… 😂😋❤️

Landri Skye

MARTIN PLEASE WE NEED MORE MUSIC ON 2006WR PLEASE ITS THE BEST MUSIC IVE EVER HEARD 🖤🖤🖤😭😭😭😭

chelsea cañas

just subscribed for the first time yall im about to binge

maiquinkledanielle

CHARLIZE IS IT U???? ITS DANIELLE ME AND MY SISTER MAI SHARE THS ACCOUNT. ARE U MY CHARLIZE OR SOMEONE ELSE????? OMG

U should come here to LA 2 do a show :-))

😋🐛

Leah M

hello hamzah 🤞🏼

Soobination

real

Sofia Camille

Saw some guy post his girl on his close friends for Valentine’s Day…

hia

if my s/o soft launched me on valentine's day, i'd cry and throw up but knowing me i'd keep it to myself and still stay

Marty

quotes of the pod: “i’m just a little girl at the end of the day” & “we will all eat bugs” 👍

chelsie

was watching some previous podcast eps and had to come back to let you know I’m manifesting a relationship for you as well for your sake bc dear god😭 (i can’t talk shit tho ur so real)

Kim Sanchez

oh that’s not—

Abby

the glasses. no hat. the outside lighting. god bless🙏🏻

Allison

You’re SO real for the clip part on TikTok ! I literally subscribed for the Patreon bc of TikTok clips

madison ♡

2026 will be the year of the slushy noobz US tour i’m affirming it 🙏🏾 come to the south when you do pls we need entertainment

madison ♡

this was a good one king

JohnDoe

Brushing your teeth is just a practice created by the medical industrial complex so u can eat toothpaste everyday which carries meth so u slowly micro dose meth get sick and go on life support n get tube fed gogurt n apple sauce which makes them millions so don’t brush your teeth unless you wanna die but that’s just me tbh

metaversebitch

Soft launching their SO like they’re puzzle pieces 😭

saaf

LMAOO I REMEMBER THIS I WAS DYING honestly it was better than what he wanted to say

McKenna Lenz

Finally subscribed to the patreon again. My dad stopped my subscription in 2022 and I am finally wealthy enough to afford it on my own😍😍😍😍

Liv

Love u hammy

sharifa

u are NOT. a little girl. u are a grown ass man😒

meyuh

Where’s my credit for the tiktok Hamzah🙆‍♀️

asmaa

me personally im wishing them folk HELL

Lelepons1738

Glasses are 😍😍😍😍😍

Darya

the paintings in the back are becoming more and more disheveled

karina

as someone who hasn’t done their taxes in three years you just inspired me😭

Peanus butter

a lady sniffed my braid at a Florida beach in awe and then another time a man gave me a sermon about islam and said I shouldn't judge him after I told him to not touch my friend all while I was trying to munch on a beach torta. Steer clear from clearwater beach when they give you the golden ticket to the land of da free (my advice segment 2 u)

Kaylen

Where are the pants from🤬

Ishai Pegues

Hey can you and Martin play until dawn or another decision based game please-Shush

Ali Malik

live pod was so much fun listening to this rn while playing fortnite

ravi

It’s okay Hamzah you have 100k hoes on YouTube

Dia

Ven a México carnal 🇲🇽♥️

manamejeff

discord friend analogy 😭😭

lydia

just watched the fly and can’t stop thinking about how much hamzah looks like 80s jeff goldblum (this is a compliment)

sierra

microwave… with the aluminum .. and haven’t caused a massive fire explosion ?

stoup_

literally, he’ll be talking about the most controversial person too

Megan Lewis

Also add spf to your skincare routine

Megan Lewis

Woohoo 🙌🏻 i love three ways

ella

happy valentines

ella

come to new zealand 🙏🙏🙏

Kenz

I’m at work I needed this so bad thank you I can’t wait

shadia

you ever need me to teach you how to read…one on one… let me know <33 xx

SAME. I WAS TRYING TO DISSASOCIATE SO I WOULDNT LAUGH I WAS SO CLOSE TO THE CAMERA 😭

iguessitsleanne

You probably are dyslexic. I have a bunch of friends that are dyslexic and they read in a similar manner.

chelsie

lol seriously of ALL places in Illinois

A

5 stars for the pants & socks this episode

Gizelle M

fuck a dinner , lets play minecraft and sims 4 withs mandys mods

Gizelle M

Roblox kink

ponnie

Big fan of your Invisalign lisp and the way you mumble and slur your words, don't ever change

Althea

it looks so good! and u guys have fassolia! it’s so hard to find outside cyprus!

♡ bunny ♡

okay celibate era 🥳

Tavia

no one is a real fucking lover anymore bc wdym soft launching on the most romantic day of the year??

Roxy

Omg Walmart girl here. Thank you for advice 🤓❤️

karina

wakanda illinois

karina

december of 2025 i’m expecting both of you in jersey for my birthday 🙏🏼

karina

the story of martin being hit on is so funny for some reason not because i don’t think he would but because i can just imagine him telling mandy so proudly that he shot down a girls advances for her 😭😭😭😭😭

iguessitsleanne

Dude don’t stress. I’ve ingested so much red dye 40, micro plastic, and aluminum that I should be in a nursing home right now, plus it always calms me down to think about how my 80+ year old family members have smoked 8 packs of cigarettes a day since they were like 4 and they are more active than I am :)

Hamzah Al-Emad

Aban kitchen the restaurant my dad opened

asmaa

u be wishing everyone the best

karina

YESSS i literally thought like somehow the audio would mess up the podcast for youtube so i was holding in my laugh for like the first 5 minutes 😭😭😭

Lydia

FR 🥹 im so happy for him

coffreak

great advice this week!

sami morales

hamzah is so sexy with glasses

Gozalyn

Hamzah i love the glasses, please keep this up.

roro

the glasses make you look like my handsome professor i’m getting nervous

bowl of pho

I had to put this on 2x pls talk faster i beg

Paige 🫧

Aw hell nawh the dave doubles got his ass

adeliya

didn’t know every single soul was boo’d up this year too… reported everybody 🙏💯

Chloe

33:41 hamzah I can fix this for you

charlize

i am so excited for the three way on sunday yipee!!

familyguyandablunt

LMFAO it still trips me up bruh

Althea

going to carbondale for the eclipse!! any reqs of things to do there?

michaela

thank u hamzah for all the work u do, martin too, you guys make me so happy 🫶🏻

chloe

glasses looking cutesy as always

charlize

i feel u… i’ve just had to pay for a few months of bills i’ve avoided to pay until now 😂😂🙏 (i need help)

annabelle

i started cramping while listening to this i’m in hell

chelsie

anytime you mention Carbondale it just seems like witness protection level fake lore, as someone from central IL

familyguyandablunt

i cannot escape the anorexic kpop stans for the life of me

familyguyandablunt

im going to jump off a bed like a little monkey with ease and grace and think about how you can not do that

hia

i am mostly likely going to be a mom by the time yall do shows in the US

hia

drake's member saves the day yet again

Also im going to the human concern international event tonight and im 100% letting them know about you guys

Chloe

Hi bae

You said “I don’t know what connection they made between us and the homeless” 😭

mowa

congrats on 100k slusher🥳

Sofia Camille

Was so happy we got an episode and then got even more happy we got a glasses episode 🤩

hia

wow...subtle product placement u got there

😭 also the problem was I wasn’t even sure if we could laugh during the live cause I was scared we weren’t allowed so I think that’s why ppl were quiet in the beginning I feel like

skyler 🍎

Hello hamzah i Love you. happy day

He can say ebb and flow but couldn’t say door …. Yeah it’s dementia.

hia

i once put aluminum in my microwave and it started a fire

Ethan

Awww

Lina

50 comments in 15 mins is crazy when did the Patreon blow up like this

belbel

It’s so cute to me that Hamzah is going on Martin’s family vacation….brothers fr

Gabrielle

i’ve been watching the patreon eps for the past few days and the amount you talk about caffeine pills is inspiring.

annabelle

🙉🙉 splendid

Andi

hamburger

charlize

please come to the uk 🙏🙏 the brits need saving

khalia

you look so yummy with glasses. keep.them.on.😂😂😂

khalia

he’s been looking good!

charlize

hamzah you look so cute with glasses… i am also a glasses wearer nerds unite 🤓☝🏻

kenna

the ppl walking past the window is so funny to me

greenpants

those little tooth stick things work more as toothpicks than floss. you need regular string floss or a water floss

charlize

hi anna spach

charlize

omg hiii i promise im not ur opp i’m a nice girl i promise 😢🐒

Elliot Padams

Also Hamzah why do you talk about caffeine like ur a hooked nitty who cant put a cup of coffee down

kat

"actually giving me dementia like actually" ruh roh escooby doo so bad

Danielle

you’re starting to look too good lately😣😣

Galilea

thank you i needed a video to watch with my lunch

mylfril

no bc also getting told that i am not flossing enough when I DO after every stinking meal was nauseating 💔💔💔💔

oops…i seemed to have dropped my out of character merchandise on this chair here😅

michaela

hes just a little girl who wants some comfy pants and a little drink 😞💔

Izabelle Tewolde

Its a crime that you dont have a valentine

wafaa

missed you pookie

kenna

been waitin for this shittttt

Janie

how did the frames on the wall get messed up again help

asmaa

when a new podcast drops just when u tryna get some shit done 🔥🔥🔥

annabelle

yo ur the one on tiktok that i get scared of every time u comment LMFAOOOO

jackie rodriguez

happy late valentine’s day everyone

michaela

the glasses r a move btw

elene

i was going to sleep but ig not

Reggie

I love the glasses

charlize

happy belated valentine’s day do u want to share a bag of m&m’s i will send it to ur PO box

sophia dabu

Loving the glasses hamzah

sydney kerouac

Hamzah please wear glasses every day ever

Elliot Padams

omg I love you hammoud. cant wait to sleep to this

Abby

The merch laying out 😭

debora deb

ciao hamzah

Soma

Hiding airpods under my hijaab to listen to the new episode during work rn

shadia

2x speed is needed with this one

annabelle

taking off my ankle monitor to go outside and watch this

Mailleux Chloe

i ❤️ having 5$ a month for this

carrington

hamzah im getting my hair done rn

Jaelyn Fletes

thank u hamzah

Carla

oh my god you finally wore glasses

freeicespice2024

just as i made food🙏🏽🙏🏽

Victoria Jonathan

York was beautiful. Thank you hamzah.

AM

Winning ‼️

AM

I’m so early