Undertaker33
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Dec 2022 Newsletter Update! Upcoming changes, personal news, and motivations!
🕑 Added 2022-12-23 07:42:56 +0000 UTCGood evening, all! I hope you're having a merry Winter season!
It's been a while since I've done a newsletter, and we've had some major developments lately that I wanted to notify folks of as we enter the Christmas holiday!
Right off the bat, I'd like for this update to sound honest and open. I don't want to feel like I'm putting on airs or trying to fake anyone out, cause 2022 has been... rough. I don't really have a TL;DR... so strap in, cause it's gonna be a long talk.
While I'm exceptionally pleased with the work done this year, specifically with the Reader's Guide to FOTF and the Trouble in the Inven-tea-ing Room comic, other series haven't gotten nearly enough attention from me this year. Growing Soft and Our Reality really weigh on my head, as does The Blue Beauty of AVALANCHE and of course my Collab with BWS for The Reflection Behind the Door.
Looking at my timeline, it's extremely evident how some of my own favorite stories are sorely missed. There's been artwork, sure, but literature... it has suffered this year. And I really hate that.
I love writing. I love portraying Miia being a giddy newlywed who has become taken with her own chubbiness, or how Monika can be both very sultry but also flustered and embarrassed about her size and inexperience. I love writing a beefy brawler turned helpless blueberry, and I love the mystery of Zelda's curse and her fattening appetite. When folks ask after these stories, I always want to say that they'll be coming soon, but... well, they haven't been. And what really beats me up about that is how hard I've been trying.
This year hasn't been nice. I've been sick since November... last November. When investigating an onset case of my chronic bronchitis, my doctor discovered I had an elevated red blood cell count (Polycythemia) and that I Gallstones, which required a major surgery where I had my gall bladder removed after some substantial attacks. That was one problem down, but the other two were endless anxiety filled with test after test. We tested for sleep apnea, negative. Then we did genetic testing for Polycythemia Vera (blood cancer), which after nearly a sleepless month was again found negative. Then, even more worryingly, I was given an MRI to find if I had any hidden tumors which were triggering the elevated rbc count. Nothing, each time. The final straw came when, despite being prescribed two different inhalers and doing several respiratory tests involving blood oxygen levels and lung capacity that I'd just passed, my pulmonologist said, 'Maybe you have Asthma?' and recommended me for another $800 test that would just continue to tell me what I don't have.
The cancer scare caused a lot of stress, but with each test I was becoming more and more bitter and that was much worse for my health. After pinching a nerve in my neck, seemingly from stress alone, I decided that the inhalers put me into a position where I'm 'good enough,' because I don't have the ability to pay endlessly into the healthcare system.
Throughout all of that, I'd been trying to write. And it just... sucked. In general, when I'm struggling to write on my laptop I'll use my phone and write on the Werdsmith app to get something going. But it was like everything I wrote was infected by those crappy moods. There'd be stories meant to be fun or funny reading as if they were dour or worse, flat, and almost everything meant to read as enticing or amours was just... not. I couldn't hit my quality control, and the fact that I couldn't write these characters I love only made me feel worse.
With the bills came medical debt, and through my souring spirits I decided to pick up a second job where I could work without needing to rely so heavily on my own dictation or frozen trains of thought and the lack of a workspace I could call my own. A lot of this year's submission have actually started out as projects done on my phone, utilizing an app called Werdsmith, since our current spot has nowhere I can just sit and use my laptop without interruption. I'd have spurts of inspiration, writing more for Chocolate Mines, Struggling Diet Warriors, Dessert Warfare, Bounty's Labor, and several one-shots, but some of the series just completely eluded me. Chapter 6 of Reflection was finished twice, both with wildly different takes on the chapter and just completely suffering as I could not find Zelda's voice. Chapter 9 of Five Buns Full, I've struggled so much with Nino's father that I ended up taking on Itsuki's Substitution just to enjoy some super-sized fun rather than navigating discussion in an interesting way. Even Growing Soft, staring two characters I know and love so much that I could recognize them in any sort of style, I've been trying to write the latest chapter since August, and I just... couldn't. I struggled so much because I couldn't get the young lovers to ever sound like they do. I couldn't write the intimacy or attraction right, and it felt almost like I was a performer whose plates had all been spinning on poles that had begun to crack.
Until very recently...
Maybe it's the longer nights or the chilly season, but things have absolutely begun looking up as we reach towards the end of the year.
Once we were able to settle our debts, my wife and I decided to take on more lol. With the idea that finding a better place for ourselves, one that isn't so damn expensive for next to no benefit, we'd decided to move out from Illinois and have been in the process of purchasing property down in Tennessee. We closed on the house last week and, while it's a fixer, we got an astoundingly good price and are more than capable of giving it the love and care that it needs. We'll be able to move in once some repairs are complete, but now we own a full acre of land to carve out as our own little slice.
I can't tell you how good it has felt to have all of that covered. There's still some level of stress, naturally, but to actually be able to do something and to work rather than feeling... impotent, it has completely revitalized my writing and characters are actually feeling right and good to me once more.
I'm not trying to excuse the slow pace of stories this year, moreso trying to explain how being in such a bad place for so long had been dragging me down, and why I'm so excited with how things are looking up. I've not had my own workspace since... well, before Coronavirus forced a move that was supposed to be only 'an uncomfortable two weeks' into nearly three years. It'll be wonderful just to be able to sit at a desk with my laptop again.
However, talk is cheap and I've talked quite a lot here! To prove my intentions, I've drawn up a special work-plan that should help tackle production and ensure a restart to the Patrons' Prompt Polls, starting with a Story Artwork one that will close out this month!!
My goal is to submit three stories each month. The first story will be from my Commissions List, the second will be a personal series or a former Patrons' Prompt that was voted for by folks here, and the third will be dedicated specifically to finishing The Reflection Behind the Door. The extra week will be used in contacting artists, drawing up the detailed prompts, plotting more for the Trouble in the Inven-tea-ing Room comic collab, and if time allows, revisiting some of my older works for Revamps or Updates.
On the Fifteenth of each month, the Patrons' Prompt suggestions will go up, and the Poll will follow on the Twentieth. The poll itself will also last five days, closing before the month ends so that I can use that first week to draw up whatever detailed prompt might be needed.
I will also be removing the Winery Tier from our current listing. Reviews have been exceptionally hard for me to provide in anything resembling a timely fashion this year, due in-part to their thoroughness and the time requirement combating against the constantly tired mindset I'd possessed. I am extremely thankful to those who were in the tier ***and will still provide reviews for those who donated***, but the tier itself will no longer be listed and no more backers will be accepted onto it.
In it's place, I'll be expanding the benefits to a few roles, mostly in regards to Discord. All Patreon members will gain access to public lessons that will be posted in the #backrooms channel, in which users can interact, ask questions, or be given specific direction in developing their own styles of writing. Users in the $15+ tiers will be given access to a specific channel that will allow for sticker or emote suggestions. We've got a ton of really great ones already, but I'll always be happy to take on fresh ideas for folks and their favorite stories.
My intent is to make Literature on here more consistent, which will also allow folks in the Beta Reader Tier to see and involve themselves in more of the process. Once I wrap up other Patrons' Prompt series, such as Dessert Warfare and Blue Beauty, I'll also reopen the Prompt Suggestions for Literature. I'd very much like to have these series completed before allowing folks to cast votes on new ones.
I think that might be it... at least, for now. I've been typing at this for a few hours, but I'll be sure to make a public update if I've missed anything or anybody. I very much appreciate you folks supporting and reading stuff each time, and I can't say how much it means to me to take part in such a fun community of fans and friends.
If you have any questions, send me a message on here or over Discord, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
As always, thanks for reading, and Merry Christmas!!!! <3
Comments
Berry's Bakery
It's really been quite the year for you :( I'm happy it's ending on a positive note though! I hope things only go up from here :)
