mobofair
patreon
Supergirl: Twenty-One Plays of Sisqó’s Thong Song
🕑 Added 2021-04-02 00:00:03 +0000 UTCLena buzzed Kara up to her apartment, expecting the usual puppy-doggish gal-paling from her, but when she came out of her home office to see how Kara had made herself at home, she saw the blonde at her drink cabinet. And not just making drinks for the two of them, but Chocolate White Russians. She raised an amused eyebrow when Kara shoved one glass into her hand.
“If you don’t want it, I’ll take it,” Kara said snippily.
“What’s gotten into you?” Lena asked, and Kara instantly calmed down with a sag of her shoulders, like she realized she was being ridiculous. Which was good. Lena would hate to try to point out to her that her idea of hard drinking was still Chocolate White Russians.
“It’s silly. Kind of a parasocial… thing… I mean, Supergirl and I, we aren’t really friends?”
Lena had her suspicions about that, but she knew Kara wouldn’t hide anything too important from her, so whatever she was so secretive about, Lena would try to be understanding. It was probably something embarrassing. Like she and Supergirl had once had a one-night stand. “I mean, I’ve never seen you together, but I didn’t think you were on bad terms.”
“We aren’t!” Kara assured her, hands held out, sloshing the White Russian she had in her hand. She sipped it to bring down the level of vodka in it and her eyes boggled. “Wow. This is really good chocolate!”
“Kara, did Supergirl do something to you?” Lena snickered. “Hit on a dude you liked?”
“What? No!” Knowing better now, Kara waved her free hand in dismissal. “No, nothing like that. It’s dumb.”
“Tell me anyway. I could stand listening to dumb problems instead of corporate problems and supervillain problems—and family problems, which are both.”
Kara’s eyebrows went up in recognition of Lena’s truthfulness. “I wasn’t Googling Supergirl.”
“Okay.”
Kara took a quick sip of White Russian. “I’ve really gotta find out what kind of chocolate this is—I happened to be online, with my internet connection, and I happened to see an article about Supergirl. You know, those little clickbait articles at the bottom of real articles?”
“Uh-huh.”
“And you know the new suit Supergirl wears? Instead of the skirt?”
“The footie pajamas?” Lena asked.
Kara scowled. “I wouldn’t call it that…”
“The catsuit?”
“It—it’s not…”
“Go on, Kara.” Lena was through teasing her—it was just too easy. “What did they say about Supergirl’s new suit?”
Kara slapped her free hand on her hip. “That she doesn’t look as sexy as she used to!”
Lena scoffed. “That’s ridiculous!”
“I know, right? Judging a woman by her—”
“The way it shows off that ass of hers—”
They both stopped in the middle of talking over themselves and regarded each other.
Lena took a drink of her Chocolate White Russian.
“What do you mean, it shows off her ass?”
Lena shrugged and took a walk to an armchair against the wall. “Well, it’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? The suit’s skintight.”
“Lots of people have skintight suits!” Kara said defensively.
“But how many of them have an enormous ass like hers?” Lena sat down. “I mean, fuck. It’s practically obscene.”
“Obscene!?” Kara squeaked.
“The way it flows out from that tiny little waist of hers—just makes it look even bigger.” Lena bit her lower lip. “Shit, that hourglass figure. It’s really something.”
“I don’t think her ass is that big. I think it’s pretty… normal-sized.”
“Oh, I wishmore girls had an ass like that. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying she’s out of shape or anything. I’m sure it’s as toned as the rest of her; not like it sags or anything. She just happens to have an ass that’s thicker than a bowl of oatmeal and a costume that ‘just happens’ to let everyone on the planet see it.”
“But—I mean—she used to wear a skirt!”
Lena chuckled. “Yeah, that was kind of cute and girly, but it was pretty modest, really. Sure, it showed off her legs, but she has a pretty normal set of legs. They’re nice and all, but that fat ass of hers is just incredible.”
“It’s not fa—you know she wears a cape, right?” Kara insisted.
“Yeah, but c’mon, her cape’s always blowing in the breeze, flying around. It really doesn’t hide much. It’s more of a tease than anything else. Even when it’s covering her up, you know that big ass is right underneath.” Lena leaned forward in her seat with a conspiratorial air. “Sometimes, when she has her back to me, I find myself staring at her ass, just waiting for some stray breeze to move her cape out of the way and let me see that big juicy butt. Makes me want to turn the air conditioning on.”
“Oh, you… you think she’s sexy?” Kara asked in disbelief.
“I didn’t used to. She was more cute than anything else. But now that I’ve seen that huge ass of hers poured into that outfit, I kinda wish she’d run into some Red Kryptonite again.” Lena grinned wickedly. “As long as she’s being naughty, maybe I could spank her a little.”
“Lena!” Kara gasped, scandalized. “She’s… she’s your friend! I can’t believe you would sexualize her like that!”
“Relax, Kara. It’s not like I’m going to come up to her and give her a big smack on the ass—tempting as that is. It’s just a harmless little fantasy. I think everyone in the city has a little something-something they’d like to do with Supergirl if they had a few hours alone with her. Mine just involves her after she’s been in one of those big fights that leaves her cape all tattered, so there’s absolutely nothing hiding that thick ass from me.” Lena raised her glass to her lips. “Maybe I could give her a little tender loving care before I ass-fuck her.”
“Lena!”
“With her consent, of course. My fantasy life isn’t that sick. But the way she loves swinging that big ass around, she must know how good it feels to have a cock in it.”
“A COCK?”
“You can tell,” Lena said with an agreeing nod.
Kara sputtered. “I… I… I know Supergirl and I aren’t too close, but I’m sure she’s not into anal sex.”
Lena’s lips wrapped around a toothy grin. “Sure. She just happens to show off her ass—must be a great way to meet guys—and then she doesn’t let them do anything with it.”
“Don’t you think you might be reading too much into this? Maybe she could’ve just… wanted to swap her outfit.”
“I think she’s smarter than that,” Lena said, jiggling the ice in her White Russian at Kara. “I think it’s all this advanced Kryptonian mind-game. You know how Superman used to have those red tights he wore over his blue suit?”
“You mean his footie pajamas?” Kara needled.
“Whatever,” Lena snapped with a dismissive slosh of her drink. “And when he got rid of them, he looked naked, and we all started thinking about his cock?”
“We—we did?”
“Same exact thing with Supergirl. Between how naked she looks with all that skintight blue and how big her ass is in the first place, it’s obvious she’s at least a little bit of an Analzon.”
“Anal what?”
“You know, one of those women who’s really into getting sodomized?” Lena sipped her drink. “They can be a lot of fun, since obviously you don’t have to work too hard to talk them into getting ass-fucked, but then obviously there’s all that prep you have to do. It’s really only worth cocking them if they have a really great ass in the first place.”
“Why do you keep talking about co—that word?” Kara asked nervously.
“Well, strap-on, if you want to be technical. Not a real one. Luthorcorp’s technology isn’t that advanced.” She stirred her ice cubes around in her glass. “You’ve really never thought about Supergirl’s ass, even after she put on the catsuit?”
“Not up til now…”
“Never thought about going up to the counter between those juicy cheeks and eating out?”
“I know she’s an alien, but I’m pretty sure that’s where she—“
“Or driving a big strap-on dick right under that skirt?”
Kara pointed an accusatory finger at her. “You said the skirt wasn’t sexy!”
“Well, now that I know what a giant ass she has underneath it…”
“Lena!”
Lena cackled with laughter at her friend’s shock. “It’s just a silly fantasy, Kara. It’s not like I’d ever tell her about it.” Then she grinned darkly. “You don’t think she’s using her superhearing, do you? Listening in to people’s little wet dreams about her?”
“No! Supergirl wouldn’t—she would never—maybe she should, if that’s how people really feel about her suit.”
“Oh, they do!” Lena knocked back a swig like she was taking a shot. “There’s this website where people share pictures they’ve taken of her in her new costume…”
“They’re probably appreciating the Kryptonian aesthetic she’s representing with her costume.”
“’My anaconda wants Supergirl’s fat ass dot com. All one word.”
“Oh Lord,” Kara moaned.
“They’re very respectful. There’s a strict policy: nothing about fisting, double penetration—“
Kara took a stiff drink. “Oh, God forbid anyone acknowledges she has a vagina still, in her naked blue skintight footie catsuit…”
Lena shook her head. “No, that’s fine, it’s the DP where both of them are going up her ass—“
“How loose do people think I—she is?” Kara interrupted shrilly.
Lena wrapped both hands around her glass thoughtfully. “Well, the consensus is that her Kryptonian physiology would be so tough that it’d be pretty damn hard to penetrate her anus—that is, the butthole. Even if you could, you’d end up crushed real quick.”
Kara ruefully sipped her drink. “That’s something, at least.”
“I suggested that if you were to make a strap-on with a certain amount of Kryptonite in it—“
“Oh Rao…”
“It would weaken her sphincter and bowels enough for you to get pretty far into her.”
Kara fixed Lena with a stare. “And don’t you think that might hurt her?”
“Of course, obviously. But she does like to dress up in an elaborate costume and seek out people to either beat up or get beaten up by, so most of us in the Anacomm think she’s pretty much a kinkster.”
Kara buried her face in her hands, holding her half-full glass against her skull. “Anacomm?” she asked in a muffled voice.
“Anaconda Community,” Lena explained. “There’s about four thousand people in the forums, but twenty thousand regular visitors to the site. We actually had a pretty big charity drive for treating colon cancer. Anyone who donated thirty bucks got an Anacomm T-shirt.”
“Well… at least some good is coming out of this… flagrant objectification.”
“Plus, ten percent of every donation went to hosting the servers. You know, all the hi-res photographs, the HD video. She keeps flying around with her ass hanging out—“
“It is not hanging!”
“—so there’s always more material to archive. We could’ve easily paid for it with the membership dues, but we figured as long as we’re looking at Supergirl’s ass, we should think about what she would want us to do too.”
“Dare I even ask what the T-shirts look like? Did you find some… Pulitzer Prize photo of her ass and screen print those?”
“No, no, they were very tasteful. Just a picture of an anaconda.”
“That’s not so bad.”
“Slithering between two pumpkins.”
“Jesus, Lena.”
Lena casually sipped her drink. “Big pumpkins, too. Like if Cinderella wanted to take a friend to the ball…”
Just then, both their phones lit up. Kara checked hers first. “Giant monster rampaging through downtown. I’d better go—traffic is going to be a nightmare, so I should get home before it really gets jammed in—jammed up!” she corrected herself.
“Are you sure you don’t want to spend the night here?” Lena asked. “You know Supergirl’s going to show up to save the day. I have a 102-inch TV and Channel 4 always shows the best camera angles…”
“I am going to heatvision their news chopper,” Kara muttered under her breath as she left.
She pulled her blouse open the same as always, but felt a little reluctant about taking her pants off. Maybe she could fight evil while staying in her baggy slacks?
Don’t be ridiculous, Kara, she told herself. Remember, at least it’s fighting colon cancer, in a roundabout way.
Comments
Shendude
Hahahahaha!
