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46. Water Boss
🕑 Added 2024-10-21 17:37:19 +0000 UTCThe water churned. A huge shadow loomed in the mists, obscured by the darkness and the low clouds. Beneath their feet, the ground trembled. Waves washed over it, and the earth itself shook. Puddles of water welled up on its surface, and the consistency grew soft and muddy.
Levi craned his neck forward, but from here to the next flag, and from where he stood to where the mist closed in behind them, there was nothing but sloppy, wet path. “We’re fighting on quicksand, then. But don’t worry! It’s less dangerous and way slower than you’d expect. Honestly, you really have to try to fall into it.”
“Yeah, I know. I used to play in it when I was a kid,” Colin said.
Levi and Isa both stared at him.
“What? Like you said, it’s way less exciting than it sounds. There used to be a ton of it around my parents’ gym. We’d sink up to our knees and yank our feet out, or pitter around on the surface. It really wasn’t that dangerous.”
Levi nodded approvingly. “Hardcore.”
Colin blushed. “It isn’t, I promise.”
“You already know, but all you need to do is not stand in one place for too long, and you’ll be fine. It’s more dangerous for Isa and I and the zombies. The melee folks. Our footing’s gonna be shit and the mud’s gonna slow our footwork down, so be ready to compensate.”
“Speak for yourself.” Cracking and snapping like breaking bones, wings folded out from Isa’s back. Spreading those batlike filaments wide, she flapped once, twice, caught the air and flew, hovering over the mud.
“Damn. Look at that cheater, outright cheating. I’m gonna report you for hacking,” he accused her. More quietly, to himself, he added, “Next on the list after arms: wings.”
“Are you planning to construct yourself a Frankenstein’s monster, piece by piece?” Colin asked.
“No. Frankenstein was a weakling who passed out a lot. I’m a cool guy who swordfights. Frankenstein made a monster who was lame, like him. I’m gonna make a monster that’s cool, like me.”
Colin groaned.
“More seriously, nah. I don’t need a humanoid figure. I can just rez people. Better off using my special zombie sewing skill when I need it, not just to ‘make a better person.’ Rather than waste my time on something like that, why not just find a stronger body, you know?”
“Frankenstein wasn’t trying to—”
“Yeah, yeah. I was talking about me, not him.”
Isa looked from Colin to Levi. “Your homeworlds had some kind of… famous necromancer?”
“Famous fictional necromancer. And I’m not sure if he counts. He only made one dude,” Levi pointed out.
“Ah. Fiction. That stuff rots your brain, you know? They say it’s leading to the downfall of the youth. They spend all their time reading novels instead of working,” Isa commented.
“No, no. It’s videogames, now. Novels are good, and children should read,” Levi corrected her.
She blinked at him. Slowly, she shook her head. “Times have changed. Next, you’ll tell me that children are not expected to work.”
“Actually, it’s illegal. Child labor laws,” Colin said.
“The state interferes with a child’s right to work? With a parent’s right to expect value from their offspring? What a strange world you must live in.”
“Yeah, well, women can own property now, too,” Levi pointed out.
“That does sound preferable,” Isa allowed.
The whole time they chatted, the dark form lurched closer. It moved slowly, fighting the muck and the water to approach them. Now, at last, it pushed through the mists and appeared before them. A massive fish man with a huge, gaping mouth heaved his bulk onto the shallow water. It stood three, maybe four times their height. Thick fin-limbs propelled it slowly forward. A big fat tail wobbled at the end of its body. Although there were human-like elements to it—a slender pair of arms and legs, tucked close to its bulk—it was very much more fish than man.
“Is it bullying to attack it?” Levi asked, looking at the fat, pitiful beached fish. It was huge, but it wasn’t particularly scary. It felt more like dinner had delivered itself, rather than the threatening final moments before a boss attacked.
In the air, Isa fell back. “Be on your guard. This isn’t its true form.”
The giant fish (man) turned its head. An enormous eye gazed at Isa. “You said you would never return.”
Levi startled. “It talks?”
Isa flapped her wings slowly, gazing at the giant fish. “I never intended to come back.”
“Yet here you are! Come to prey upon my people and their filthy swamp blood yet again?”
“Not at all. I’m only here to help someone else. I haven’t sunk my teeth into a single swamp-blooded frogman.”
The giant fish harrumphed. “It wouldn’t matter anymore, anyways. My people’s hearts are dead. They no longer remember their proud pasts. Now, they’re nothing but beasts of the dungeon… and soon, I too shall be no more than a mindless beast.”
Isa’s eyes clouded. “No… that can’t be.”
The fish shook its head. Its whole body wiggled from the action, waggling across the earth. “Have you not heard? The end times are upon us. Those of us lucky few who retain our senses will surely lose them. The world is hungry, and it needs our energy. We, who were recruited to safeguard its treasures, are no longer required. The time has come for this world to be consumed, and its legacy passed on to the next. To pass on that legacy, now, it needs us to fail. To lose repeatedly, so that the peoples of this world can finally realize the truth.”
The fish paused. “I only hope that it is not too late.”
Isa drew her sword. “I will remember you, Kuja. You were a worthy foe.”
“Hmm. Perhaps at one time, I was. Now I’m nothing but an old fish.” Kuja trembled. His scales shimmered. His body bulged and wavered. Great chunks of bulk moved around under his scales, shifting to different parts of his body. His fat fish body grew slender, and his limbs grew huge. Muscles bulged all over his arms and legs. He climbed to his feet. Where a fat fish had once sported skinny little limbs, now, a slender fish sported massive, bulging, muscular limbs. His fish face gaped at them, big, flat fish eyes gazing unblinkingly down at them. Now that all his bulk was in his limbs, he nearly bumped his head on the ceiling, truly enormous. And that was with him standing knee-deep in murky water.
He flicked his fishy tail and lifted a hand, gesturing them on with his fingers. “Come!”
“Already on that, boss. I don’t need an invitation. Holy shit. Colin, do you see those arms?” Levi asked, all but salivating.
“There’s no way you have enough stat points to rez one of those arms,” Colin pointed out.
“I’m keeping them until I do,” Levi pledged. His extra arms folded out from under his cape, clutching their swords. The undead fishmen gathered in a phalanx around him. The Spinal Cord unwound from his midriff, baring its razor-sharp tip toward the giant fish man.
Isa fell back, letting Levi take center stage.
“So, you are to be my opponent?” Kuja rumbled.
“Damn straight. Let’s go!”
Kuja hauled back his arm. Levi darted in, sprinting through the mud.
