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31. Slimin' and Grimin'
🕑 Added 2024-10-06 16:00:07 +0000 UTCLevi closed in on the slime, his sword held high. Some of the slimes alerted, turning toward him, but the closest one, a blue slime about mid-thigh-height, didn’t react at all. He slashed through the bulbous thing. It split in two, barely resisting his sword. Its upper half hit the ground and laid there for a second, then bobbled back up into a second smaller slime. Both halves of the slime turned toward him.
Isa watched from around the corner, her arms crossed. “I forgot. Don’t cut them, they’ll—”
“Awesome! They do it in real life, too!” Sheathing the Armalgam’s swords, Levi knelt and pummeled the blue slimes to death with all six arms.
Isa looked at Colin. Colin shrugged back. “I can’t explain him.”
“What? You mean you don’t enjoy a sick sense of satisfaction from slicing a slime in two to create two smaller, equal-sized slimes? Like cutting a chunk of jello and slurping it down. It’s satisfying! Except you don’t get that nice slippery wiggle down your throat,” Levi said. He charged toward the next slime. It charged him back and squinched down, preparing to spit acid. At the very last second, Levi dodged. The acid burned into the rock instead, and the slime met the same fate as the first.
“Jello?” Isa asked.
“God, do you hear yourself?” Colin asked.
“I do. And you hear me, too. And I love it.”
“God,” Colin muttered, grimacing.
He leaped toward the red slime and punched. It dodged to the side, quicker than the other one. Before it could get away, the Spinal Cord shot out from under his cloak and lassoed it. It drew the red slime closer. As it dragged the slime, it pinched it, making it narrower at its midpoint. The bone sizzled, but Levi didn’t seem to notice. He watched the slime closely, until the pinch finally snapped through, and two smaller slimes hit the floor.
“You know what? This is really doing something for me. I wasn’t expecting it, but I’m really enjoying this,” Levi commented. He finished off the red slime with a few punches, then turned to the final chromatic slime.
“Keep that to yourself,” Colin requested.
“Dun wanna,” Levi replied petulantly.
Isa crossed her arms. “Absolute degeneracy.”
The yellow slime darted toward him. Electricty fizzled around it. He launched a punch, then yelped and jerked back instinctively, shaking his fist. “Yooo, electric shocks are not part of my nascent slime-based fantasy!”
“Thank the gods for that,” Colin said.
Levi’s eyes flashed. He lashed out with the Spinal Cord. Rather than encircling the slime, he beat it with the flat of the tail, smacking it down to the ground. Electricity shocked over the spine, but dissipated in the bone long before it reached Levi. The yellow slime quavered, melting toward the ground. Shocks grounded all around it as it desperately tried to attack Levi.
The whole time, the black slime had sat in the back, watching. As the yellow slime died, it suddenly jumped forward. Before Levi could finish the job, it engulfed the remains of the yellow slime. There was a horrible squelching sound, somewhere between a burp and a fart, and the electric slime vanished into the black slime’s belly.
Levi backed up. He lifted his fists, bouncing in place like a boxer. On his back, the Armalgam made threatening gestures as well.
“Ah,” Isa said, realizing something.
“Yeah?” Levi asked.
“It’s not a black slime. It’s a brown slime…sometimes called a rainbow slime or a foul-feeder. They’re voracious eaters. They’ll swallow anything. Other slimes, people, monsters, even rotten remains.”
Colin stiffened. He backed away.
“Oh. So it’s just a normal slime,” Levi said. He approached it slowly, readying his fists.
The slime went limp. It spread over the floor, rushing toward his feet.
“Get back!” Isa shouted.
Levi jumped back on pure instinct, then paused. He looked at her. “Why?”
She pulled a scrap of leather from her pocket and tossed it at the brown blob. The blob hissed. On its surface, the leather popped around. It emitted a fierce stream of pale smoke, then was absorbed into the slime.
“Oh.” Levi frowned. He gestured. “How do we fight it?”
“We don’t. This route is cut off until it backs away.”
“No way. It’s just a slime. There has to be a way,” Levi said. He looked at Colin. “Cast life magic on it.”
Colin frowned. “What’s that going to do?”
Levi shrugged. “I don’t know, but don’t you want to find out?”
“Not really.”
Isa pursed her lips. “It won’t hurt. It’s not like we’ve done any damage to the foul feeder. You can’t heal what hasn’t been injured.”
Colin hesitated. He looked at Isa, then nodded. “Okay. Everyone back up, just in case.”
“Okaaaaay.” Levi retreated, but kept himself between Colin and the slime. Isa backed away a step, just far enough to stay out of spitting range.
Colin hefted his staff. Gold light streamed forth, as bright as the sun in the dark tunnels. It landed on the dark brown slime.
Nothing happened. Light shone on the slime, making it look a little paler brown than before. Levi tilted his head left, then right. He pinched his chin. “You know what? If you move back and forth, it does have a rainbow to it. I mean, it’s just iridescence, but I see it, now.”
“It’s more obvious outside, in the sun,” Isa told him.
Colin blushed. “If you’re just going to make fun of me—”
“We weren’t doing that at all! But the light show is very pretty,” Levi said, nodding.
Colin lowered his staff. The light cut off. “Oh, shut up.”
The slime trembled. Its surface shivered, ripples spreading from the point where Colin had shone his light. Abruptly, it gathered up into a tight knot. With the bulk it had gained from the electric slime, it now stood taller than any of them. It hovered for a second, then lunged, shooting directly for Colin.
“Want more, huh? Not a chance!” Levi jumped in. He sliced the slime in two horizontally. Two smaller foul feeders dropped to the ground. They dashed around him and closed in on Colin.
White bone lashed out. The Spinal Cord wrapped around the slime, stopping it momentarily. The slime pressed against it. The bone began to hiss. The slime ate it away, chewing through it like nothing.
“Nope.” Levi pounced on one of the two little slimes. He and the Armalgam pounded it, smashing it into the rock floor. His knuckles reddened as the slime ate into them, and the surface of the Armalgam’s fists burned away, but he didn’t stop.
“Levi!” Colin pointed his staff, sending gold light Levi’s way. His knuckles healed even as he finished pounding the brown slime to death.
The second slime perked up at the sight of light. It launched into the air, flying toward Levi.
Levi laughed. “Keep that light on me, Colin!” He drew back his fist and launched a punch directly at the flying slime. A hole burst out from its center, soft jelly giving way with the force of his fist. The Armalgam reached around him and clapped, smashing the jelly into tiny bits. The bits splattered over the ground. They laid still for a moment, then struggled to reform.
“Nope, nope, nope.” Levi ran over to the bits and stomped them to nothing one after another, until nothing remained.
“Huh,” Isa commented. “You know, I never considered fighting in such a way that you fundamentally throw your body away from the start. I guess you can kill foul feeders, if you start from the premise that you’re willing to die.”
“Colin, heal me!” Levi called, walking back over. “Also, I’m not starting from the premise that I’m willing to die. I’m starting from the premise of having a pocket healer. You should try it. It’s not cheating, it’s based, thanks.”
“Ah, I see. Totally different,” Isa snarked.
“It is, by the way. You should see me fight when I’m starting from the premise of being willing to die. Talk about unleashing the beast! That’s like, all limiters off, remove-the-training-weights Levi.”
“Wow, I can’t wait! When are we going to see that?” Isa asked.
“Never, unless you want to make me a sexy vampire, and then right now,” Levi said, shooting her a grin and double finger guns.
“My only comfort is that one day, you will die,” Isa flatlined.
“And what a pity that is.” Levi nodded ahead of them. “Now that the path isn’t cut off, shall we proceed?”
“Let’s.”
