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20. To the Window
🕑 Added 2024-09-25 16:00:07 +0000 UTCBracing his arms and the Armalgam against the wall, Levi lifted his legs and kicked Isa away. She staggered back. Her legs hit the lip of the coffin, and she flopped back into it.
“Armalgam, go!” Levi pointed after Isa.
The Armalgam jumped off his back and leaped onto Isa. It grappled her down into the coffin. Isa fought back. It flew out of the coffin, but immediately scurried back in and fought her again before she could get up.
“Sit on her upper chest! It’s almost impossible to get leverage out of that hold!” Levi shouted.
The Armalgam saluted and hopped onto her chest. It dropped all its weight there and clutched onto the coffin with all four arms, locking her in.
Isa struggled a little longer, then fell back. She glared at Levi.
Levi walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at her. He crossed his legs and knitted his fingers on his knee. “So. Isa. Would you like to tell me why you, a dead person, hate the Goddess of Death? Words, please. Violence is not helpful here.”
“Release me, you clod!” she snarled.
“First off, I’m not the one holding you. Second off, I saved your life. Un-life. And your response is to treat me like shit and try to shove me out the window. I think I’m being very reasonable here, honestly. Lesser men—like a certain guy named Kai ahem ahem—would’ve already tried to kill you out of rage, but I’ll be honest, I don’t really care that much. A lot of people have tried to kill me. Some have succeeded. You know? I’m willing to forgive a good death attempt, every now and again.
“I just want to know why you tried to shove me out the window when I told you I was the Goddess of Death’s Champion.”
Her face twisted. She spat.
Levi dodged. The spit fell back onto her face. He sighed. “They don’t teach you about gravity in this world, huh? Look, I extended a hand of trust. I haven’t told anyone I’m the Champion of the God of Death. I haven’t even told Colin, though I think he kind of figured it out from context clues.”
Colin pursed his lips and waggled his hand back and forth.
Making an earnest face, Levi pressed his hand to his heart. “I’m being all trustful here, real vulnerable, and how do you reply but by defenestrating me? Honestly, I’m hurt. I’m hurt. I really thought we were bonding, coming to a place of mutual understanding, and you turn around and window-toss me like that. The betrayal. The pain. At least tell me why.”
Her lip lifted. “Ask your friends in the Death Cult.”
“In the…” Levi nodded slowly. He sat back, putting his fingertips together. “Ohhhh. Oh. I see. We have a classic misunderstanding here. You see, Isa, I’m just some dude who got isekaied a month ago.”
“I know. You were summoned by the Death Cult. They still believe they can create a Champion for the Death Goddess. And they did! Look at you. They succeeded. So congratulations. But fuck off. I don’t want anything to do with them,” she snarled.
“No, no, no. You know what they say about assumptions, right? The whole ass outta you and me thing? Which isn’t a very good joke. Who says assume, in that context? It’s always assumption, and then the joke doesn’t—I’m getting off track. The point is, I was summoned by Ician to be cannon fodder. I got cannon foddered. My friend Colin back there—”
Colin waved.
“—was, er, is a Life Cleric. He brought me back with Miracle. I got chosen by the Goddess of Death, for, you know, experiencing death and all, and here we are.”
She stilled. Her eyes widened. “That’s not possible.”
“I think you’ll find it is, my friend.”
She stared at him for another few beats, then burst out laughing. “All these years. Decades. Centuries. Centuries, the Death Cult has worked at crafting the perfect Champion for their Goddess, so that the world, the whole world, can finally experience the peace of death. And here you are, just another cannon fodder from Ician, and you’re the Goddess of Death’s Champion.”
“I only found out there was a Death Cult just now,” Levi admitted.
“You didn’t even know? Gods! Gods, that’s funny. Oh dear. Oh Goddess. Fuck, that’s funny.”
Levi laughed along with her. “It is pretty funny. Bunch of try-hards working over there, and I just spawn in way over here on my own.”
Isa’s face went dead. Her upper lip lifted. “It’s not funny at all.”
“Whoops, sorry. Thought we were having a laugh.”
“The things those people did to me, trying to craft Death’s perfect Champion. The things I had to go through. And in the end, when I was spent and wasted, when I was nothing but a vampire and not anyone’s Champion, they left me out in the sun to die.” She laughed, but it was dry. Bitter. “But as you can see, I don’t die in the sun. So the next time they threw a poor, bloodied soul into the pit, I woke up.”
“And killed them all?” Levi asked.
She lifted her lip in disgust. “If only. I was too weak. I killed the ones that got in my way on the way out, but I was more concerned with escaping than getting revenge.”
Levi nodded. He lifted his bridged fingertips to his lips, then separated them, palms out. “What if we went back and got your revenge?”
She stared at him. “Huh?”
“I, the true Champion, need no competition. And besides, if there’s some stupid motherfuckers out there besmirching my good name as Champion of Death, I need to put a stop to that posthaste. So, what do you say? Let’s go kick some cultist ass.”
“Why? We just met and I attacked you, so why…”
“Because I’m a good and noble person,” Levi said, putting a hand to his heart again. He shook his head. “I’m disappointed you’d even question my motives.”
“Uh huh,” Colin deadpanned.
Levi coughed. “And a pit of cultists sounds like a great place to pick up a bunch of levels. That’s classic dungeon shit.”
Isa snorted. “As if the Goddess of Death would let you kill her worshippers.”
“I haven’t heard a veto yet. Hey, Death Goddess! I’m gonna go kill everyone in the Death Cult. What do you say? Yes? No?” He turned his head upward, spreading his arms to heaven.
There was no response.
Levi shrugged. “See? She doesn’t care. Let’s go kill some cultists.”
Isa pushed at the Armalgam. “Get this thing off me.”
“Are you going to throw me out the window, or otherwise attack me?”
“No.”
He extended his little finger. “Pinkie promise?”
“Let me out of here and I promise I won’t snap that finger.”
Levi laughed. He snapped his fingers. The Armalgam hopped off Isa, but hovered nearby, watching her.
She climbed out of the coffin and stretched. Lowering her arms, she glanced at Levi. “You’re serious about killing the cultists?”
“I need levels, so sure, why not? I can’t find any dungeons to save my life, and I’m on the run from Ician, so somewhere far away from here that also gives me lots of levels sounds fantastic,” Levi said, nodding.
She turned, gazing back toward the entrance to the manor. “The town…”
“Yeah, they’re in kind of a tight spot. I gave them a couple zombies to reconstruct the village, but with all the bandits, it might not stick.”
Isa rounded on him. “Bandits?”
“Burned down the town yesterday. They’re rebuilding it today.”
Her lip lifted. “Valere will have quite a lot to answer for. As much as I’d like to destroy the cult, I can’t leave in good conscience with my town in danger.”
“Then… should we go wipe out the bandit camp on the way out? We can go ask Ren where they are. He’s a knowledgeable guy,” Levi said.
“Didn’t he say—”
Levi elbowed Colin.
“If there’s a main camp, that should suffice for now. Valere will handle the rest, once she revives.” Tossing her hair, Isa marched for the door.
“Can you really rely on her, after she—”
Isa looked him dead in the eye. “She won’t have a choice.”
Levi raised his brows. “Fair enough.”
