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15. Liar, Liar
🕑 Added 2024-09-20 15:00:17 +0000 UTCOnce they were out of earshot, Colin nudged Levi. “Why’d you lie to her about Jessie?”
Levi gave him a look. “Are you blind? Did you see her? Plus, calling that kobold ‘chump change?’ If you want to turn into paste, be my guest and go tell her. As for me, I like my head right where it is, thanks.”
Colin glanced back, then bit his lip. He shook his head.
“Right? Yeah. Nope.”
“What was that bit about Kai, though? He didn’t come in with us.”
Levi shook his finger. “I never said he came in with us. I just said he was with us at the start, which is true, he was summoned with us. Then I said we had a falling out, also true. And that we lost track of him—which, if you’re tracking, is also also true. So I didn’t tell a single lie. As for why… what, man, you want her to put two and two together and come after our asses for killing Jessie? Better to point her at Kai. Who knows? He might survive her. And if he doesn’t, no big loss.”
“What? That’s Kai you’re talking about,” Colin said, flabbergasted.
“Yeah. Kai. The same guy who stabbed a guard to death after dinner as a bit of light exercise to settle his stomach. That Kai,” Levi said, rolling his eyes.
Colin blinked. “Kai did what?”
“Stabbed a guy for no reason? Yeah. I think he was a serial killer in his own world,” Levi said. He shrugged. “Or he could’ve come from his own apocalypse, like me. Anything’s possible. But what’s for sure is that Kai’s fucked up in the head in a nasty way. I don’t feel bad at all about misleading a high-level adventurer into hunting his ass down instead of our collective ass.”
“Oh. I guess… if he really did, then… yeah,” Colin agreed.
They stepped out into sunlight. Levi squinted, lifting a hand to shade his eyes. Colin started heading down the mountain.
“Where are you going?” Levi asked.
“To the tavern. We told Taylor we were—” He paused and squinted at Levi. “Was that a lie?”
Levi nodded. He held up two fingers and lowered them one at a time. “One, if she figures it out, no way I’m going where I said I was going. Two, the army’s down there, looking for us.”
He pointed in the other direction. Not down the mountain, but up it. Or more precisely, around it. “There’s a gap just up ahead. I figure we shoot through that and figure out where to go from the other side.”
“Wouldn’t that put us deeper in Ician?” Colin asked.
Levi shrugged. “Maybe. Better than sticking around right where we deserted.”
Colin nodded. Carrying their newly-acquired bags, the two of them set off into the mountain.
A few days passed in that manner. The two of them worked their way around the mountain, hiking in daylight, sleeping under the sky at night. The few monsters they encountered were relatively weak. Levi and the Armalgam easily took them out. Colin healed what few cuts and scrapes he accumulated in the fights. At night, Levi ate the monsters he killed. Colin sat quietly and ate nothing, no matter how hard Levi tried to coerce him.
The first three days, they ran into no humans in the mountains. No one else ventured along the path. Once or twice, Levi paused to watch motion lower down the mountain, but it always turned out to be birds or monsters.
On the fourth day, Levi drew to a halt again. He lifted his nose to the wind and sniffed.
Colin tipped his head. He sniffed as well. Abruptly, his whole body tensed. His grip on the staff turned white.
Levi glanced back. He eyed Colin and grimaced. “So, it’s human blood, then. Let’s go see whose.”
The smell of blood grew stronger the further they walked. Colin gripped his staff so hard that his gloves cracked. Veins strained against his forehead, and his jaw clenched tight. Up ahead, smoke billowed into the sky. Red light washed against the forest.
“At a guess, someone just finished pillaging some mountain village and just set it on fire. Be ready to come in hot,” Levi warned Colin.
Colin nodded. He glared ahead of them.
A wind blew. Embers glittered in the sky. Thick smoke choked the path ahead. Hooting and hollering, a mob of bandits ran at Levi and Colin. At the sight of them, they paused for just a moment before the muscular leader jabbed a finger at them. “Get ‘em, boys! Kill ‘em and loot ‘em like we did the rest!”
Levi drew his sword. He tossed his backpack aside and unfurled the extra arms. “Colin!”
“I’m on it.” Colin backed away.
Levi swirled his sword. He looked from one bandit to the next and waggled his brows. “I could use four more weapons.”
“Kill the freak!” the leader shouted again.
The bandits cheered and raced in. As they closed in, Levi pointed, one after another. “You, with the axe. That sword there. That spear, and thaaaaat…is that a hand-and-a-half or a two-hander? Doesn’t matter. Those weapons are coming with me.”
The fastest of the bandits closed in on him. Levi spun his sword. He darted toward the man.
The man’s eyes locked onto Levi. He rushed to meet him. His sword flashed out.
Levi threw himself at the ground. He released the extra arms from his back and slid baseball-style through the first bandit’s legs. Bounding up on the other side, he stabbed the man in the back while the bandit struggled with the arms. The man let out a coughing hiss and dropped to the ground.
“And now, at last…it’s time for psychological damage!” Levi howled, slapping the fallen bandit’s back. The man’s eyes glowed green. Cold energy flowed out of Levi, and the man climbed to his feet and faced the other bandits.
“Hahaha! How does it feel to face your own friend—”
A sword jabbed at Levi. He jumped back, parrying the blade as he escaped. “Right. Real damage, too. Arms!”
The arms scurried to his side. Levi closed in on the burly sword-wielding bandit. An axe-wielding bandit tried to close in on him from behind. Levi flicked his fingers. The arms leaped at the axe-wielder. He slammed his axe into their heart, but it did nothing. The arms hugged him tight. Too tight. The man screamed. Horrible crunching and squelching came from his body, and then he went silent.
While the arms did their thing, Levi dueled the swordsman. Their blades flashed back and forth. The bandit had the upper hand on strength. Every one of his blows landed heavy on Levi’s sword. He turned his blade aside time and time again, unable to parry outright.
Yet another bandit charged at Levi from the side, his spear lowered to catch Levi in the gut. Levi’s eyes flashed. This time, as he turned the man’s sword aside, he grabbed the man’s collar as well. The man’s weight was already shifted forward, his all put into the blow. As Levi put his hip under the man’s center of gravity and turned, the man had no option but to move with Levi.
“Get out of the way!” the spear-wielder shouted.
“I can’t!” the swordsman replied.
“Get ‘em,” Levi said. He released the swordsman and backed away.
The zombie bandit charged in. He pushed the swordsman forward before the spearman could shift his spear away. The spearman pierced the swordsman through, and the zombie along with him. He stared in horror at his two friends.
“Yummy shish kebabs! Anyone want em?” Levi asked, reappearing behind the spearman. Before the man could react, he slammed his sword into his back. A chain of shadows connected the zombies, the spear, and the spearman. A quick usage of Shadow Step had given him all the speed he needed for the surprise attack.
“Stand down, or I kill your friend!” the bandit leader shouted. He held his sword to Colin’s neck.
Colin gave Levi a sheepish look.
Levi shrugged. “Go on. Good luck, have fun.” He snapped his fingers. The arms crawled toward the bandit leader while Levi charged toward the last three bandits. Four arms, churning over one another, fingers tap-tap-tapping, the Armalgam rushed the bandit leader.
Cursing, the bandit leader slit Colin’s throat and released him. Colin tensed, then frowned. He touched his throat. The flesh hung away from the bone, bare white visible at the back of his neck, but it did nothing to stop him.
“What?” the bandit leader asked.
Colin touched his throat again, a lost expression on his face. It twisted to horror, then anger. Whipping around, he grabbed the bandit leader by the shoulders and field-goal-kicked him between the legs.
The bandit leader’s face paled. He dropped to his knees, hands on his junk. Armalgam reached him. It launched into the air and dropped on his head. The bottom tips of the spines Levi had used to bind the arms together pierced the bandit leader’s eyes. He screamed and thrashed. Armalgam pierced deeper into his skull.
Levi cringed. “Yikes. My pets do some scary shit sometimes.”
The remaining bandits rushed him, screaming in rage. Levi whistled. The Armalgam leaped off the bandit leader and scurried to his side. He knelt. It cartwheeled onto his shoulders. The spine straps slid smoothly into place. Levi stood as the first of the men reached him. The man slashed at his shoulders. Levi threw himself backward. The man charged in, trying to press his advantage.
Levi grinned. The Armalgam had caught him. From a firm handing on the floor, he shoved himself back upright and stabbed the man before he could land a second slash.
Pushing the man to the side, he ran to meet the next bandit. A scythe whirled at his head—not the proper, intimidating looking kind, but a half-circle blade, sharpened on the inside, meant for reaping wheat and nothing else.
“Save that shit for flags,” Levi said. He jabbed his sword up, catching the blade before it met his neck. The bandit pushed. He forced Levi’s blade inward. His scythe inched toward Levi’s neck.
Levi stared in horror. He pushed back with both hands, but he couldn’t stop the slow, inevitable creep of the blade. It touched his neck. A thin line of red appeared.
Abruptly, Levi grinned. “Gotcha.”
Armalgam brandished a sword it had stolen from the previous bandit. It stabbed the bandit up under the ribs. Blood gushed out. It yanked the sword free, loosing a waterfall of crimson. Levi pushed again, and this time, he easily pushed the scythe away. He shrugged. “You watched two hands… but did you watch all six?”
The man’s only answer was a slow exhale as he fell to the ground.
“I didn’t think so.”
Levi wiped his sword on the man’s shirt. He turned, then snapped his fingers. The zombie bandit crumbled to dust. Another snap. Armalgam jolted upright. It hopped off his back and hurried around the field, gathering up the fallen weapons. Levi whistled and pointed. The arms paused, then snatched a more-or-less unscathed cloak off one of the men. They scurried back to Levi and settled onto his back once more, throwing the cloak around both Levi and themselves alike.
“Colin, come over here,” Levi called, adjusting the cloak’s collar.
Colin gave him a betrayed look.
“What? Oh. I did let you get stabbed. But come on! You’re undead! What’s the point of you being undead if you don’t die a little from time to time?” Levi asked. He walked over to Colin and put a hand on his shoulder. He pulsed cold energy into Colin. Slowly, Colin’s neck healed shut.
Colin coughed. He stared at Levi. “You just let me get my throat cut!”
“And you were fine! You were fine. What’s the problem?” Levi asked, lost.
“My throat. Was cut!” Colin snapped.
“It was. And now it’s fine.”
“I was terrified!”
“Oh. But…you’re already dead?”
Colin glared at him. “How do you not understand? Even if I heal you, you still don’t want to get cut, right?”
Levi nodded. “Right, but that’s because I feel pain. You don’t, right?”
Colin’s eyes narrowed further. “That’s not the point.”
“Oh.” Levi paused for a moment. He ran his hair back, then gave Colin an apologetic grin. “Sorry. I won’t let them cut your throat next time.”
Colin glared at Levi for another few seconds, then sighed. He shook his head. “As long as you understand.”
“I don’t, but I’ll be good,” Levi said. Very quickly, he added, “unless it’s essential or like super convenient.”
“What was that?”
“Huh? Nothing. You must be hearing things!”
“Levi…”
Levi spread his hands. “Okay. Random scenario. Let’s say the choice is between your life and mine. Should I let them slit your throat?”
Colin sighed. He rolled his eyes. “In that case, it’s fine, but—”
“What about if it’s a small child and you?”
“The small child—”
“An adult? Where do we draw the line?”
Colin stomped. “If it’s not necessary, don’t just let me get injured because you can! I don’t like it. It feels gross, and I hate it.”
“Fine, fine. Look, man. It’s my first time being a necromancer. I don’t know how to do this,” Levi said, putting his hands up defensively.
“Is that all? You’re just figuring it out?” Colin asked suspiciously.
“What? Yeah. Do you think they gave me a handbook? I’m as blind as you,” Levi said.
“Because it felt like you didn’t care. Like my—my death, was something you calculated, accepted, and moved on from.”
Levi opened his mouth. He shut it, then opened it again. “Okay. So, yes. That is what happened. But I have a good reason for it!”
Colin raised a brow.
Levi pointed at him. “You’re dead. You can’t die from something as simple as that.”
“You don’t know that. You just said you don’t know what it is to be a necromancer.”
Levi barked a laugh. “That’s true, but don’t underestimate me, either. I knew you wouldn’t bite it again from that.” He thumped his chest. “I felt it. Right here.”
Colin stared at him. “Am I supposed to rely on that?”
“On what, my heart? Yeah. If you can’t… well, I don’t know what to tell you. I carried you up that mountain to revive you. It’s no exaggeration to say you’re the most important person to me. I’m not going to do anything that actually risks your unlife.”
“You… really?”
Levi gave him a look. “What, did you think the goddess teleported us to that cave?”
Embarrassed, Colin looked down. “Kind of, yeah.”
Levi scoffed. “She wasn’t going to lift her godly finger to help me. I got to that cave, or I didn’t. And I carried your carcass all the way up those stones. One step at a time. In the dead of night, with monsters all around me.”
Colin stared at the floor. Quietly, he whispered, “Thanks.”
“Hmph. That’s right. Don’t doubt the great Levi. I’m absolutely not going to risk you. You’re my precious healer,” Levi assured him, patting him on the shoulder.
At that, Colin looked up. As they started walking toward the town, he tilted his head. “How did you end up with such a great pain tolerance? You treat yourself like the zombie, honestly. Even before you were a necromancer, you did that.”
Levi paused. He snorted and shook his head. At last, he looked at Colin. “Told you I came from an apocalypse, right? Shit happened.”
“Oh… I guess so,” Colin said. He looked at Levi expectantly, clearly hoping for more, but Levi blithely ignored him. They walked on in silence, leaving the bandits’ bodies behind. On Levi’s back, the extra arms traded their weapons around a bit, then stacked them all up and hugged them in a tight hold, then vanished under Levi’s new cape.
“Hey! Don’t go in there. The town’s on fire!” a man called from the forest.
Levi jerked to a halt. He beamed. “Hello, sir! Do you live here?”
“I do… I did. Until the bandits set it on fire, that is.” The man approached the road, but didn’t step onto it. He gestured for Levi to come to him. “Hurry. Let’s not talk here. The bandits might come back.”
Levi looked over his shoulder. “Yeah… I don’t think you have to worry about that.”
The man blinked. “Huh?”
“We killed ‘em. Me and blondie,” he said, thumbing at Colin. Colin gave a shy wave.
“R-really?” the man asked. He stepped toward the road and stood on his tiptoes, trying to see the way from which Levi and Colin had come.
“Really. What’s up with that, by the way? You guys get hit by bandits a lot?” Levi asked.
The man hesitated, then nodded. He glanced up the mountain. “Ever since Ician invaded and ran the Count out, it’s been like this.”
Levi followed his gaze. A Gothic manor jutted out of the trees in the distance, its slender spires and narrow gables nearly as sharp as the mountains themselves. He raised his brows. “Oh…? Tell me all about it.”
The man nodded, then paused. He glanced over his shoulder.
A woman and two children huddled in the woods. The woman stared at Levi and Colin in abject terror, clutching her children tight.
“I understand. In the morning?” Levi suggested.
“Of course. Er… I would offer you a room, but…”
“It’s fine. We’re used to sleeping under the stars,” Levi said, waving the man’s offer away. He nodded at Colin.
Colin nodded back and followed him. The two of them set off into the woods, leaving the family alone.
