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9. Daddy Goes to Work
🕑 Added 2024-09-13 00:59:07 +0000 UTCClaws skittered over the ground. Levi spun and found himself facing a hallway full of the lizards. Their jaws gaped. Their giant claws glittered in the torchlight. Uncountable black eyes stared at him with vicious hunger.
Levi’s eyes widened. He sprinted back around the corner. “Where the fuck are those dead lizards?”
Colin startled. He pointed at the floor.
Levi ran to each one, patting its shoulder. “Wake up, wake up, come to daddy, there’s a good boy… Colin! Meet your first friends!”
The zombie lizards stood there shakily. One hobbled, its leg somewhat chewed on. Another sported hand-shaped cuts in its leathery skin. Their dead eyes stared into infinity.
Levi slapped the nearest one on the haunch. “Get out there and get to work!”
The lizard zombies charged around the corner. There was a clash. Horrible squawking echoed in the hallway.
Levi grabbed Colin’s arm. “We gotta get outta here. This room’s too big. I need a bottleneck, stat.”
Colin twisted his arm free and ran alongside him. In the flickering shadows, Levi didn’t even need to shape his shadow to gain the darkness-based speed buff. He quickly sped ahead of Colin. He swung his head left and right, searching for a side hall to dart into.
Up ahead, a narrow one-man-wide crack opened in the wall. Levi pulled a one-eighty. The kobolds closed in, hot on Colin’s heels. Levi grabbed him by the arm again, unequivocally this time, and dragged him into the hole. He shoved Colin in first, ignoring the zombie’s protests. “Yeah, yeah. It’s fight time. We can talk about your feelings later.”
Whipping around, he stood just inside the crack. He positioned himself far enough in that the kobolds would have to step into the narrow hallway to approach him, but shallow enough he could still stab past the opening with a lunge. Drawing his sword, he waited.
He didn’t have to wait long. The first of the lizardmen ran toward him, its eyes red with rage. Its nostrils flared wide, and its eyes locked onto the blood on his blade.
“A feeding frenzy, is it? Come to daddy. I’ve got more than enough blade for everyone!” Levi declared. He thrust his sword through the kobold’s chest. The lizardman let out one last cry and slumped, sword still stuck in its ribs.
Behind him, Colin put his face in his hands.
Before it hit the ground, another kobold leaped into the mouth of the hallway. Levi kicked it back. Stomping on the downed kobold, he jerked his sword free and raised it again, just in time for the kobold to throw itself forward. It saw the blade too late. Its eyes widened and it threw out its stumpy arms, to no avail. It landed on the sword and slid home, all the way up to the grip.
Yet another kobold charged into the gap. With no other recourse, Levi pointed the remaining sword at it. A second lizard joined the first in a gruesome shish kabob.
“Stop impaling yourself so deeply! I know daddy’s blade is delicious, but daddy needs to stab, okay?” Levi complained.
“Stop,” Colin begged him aloud.
Levi lunged forward as the next lizardman ran in, pushing it back with the now-blunted weapon. It staggered, tripping into the lizards behind it. As the lizards figured out that traffic jam, Levi tipped his sword downward. He lifted his leg and pushed them onto the growing pile of dead beneath him.
He glanced back at Colin. “What, don’t want to hear about daddy’s big, fat weapon?”
Colin gave him a deadpan look. He shook his head.
“People are so sensitive to violence nowadays! A man can’t even talk about his sword in peace.” Levi tsked and shook his head. “Fine. Daddy will keep it to himself.”
“Don’t call yourself daddy, either.”
“Smh. Wait, do they have that in your world?”
“Text speech? Yeah.”
“No, specifically the shortener for ‘shaking my head.’ I once had someone tell me it was unreasonable for anyone to understand that.”
“Huh? It’s pretty normal. Cringe to say it aloud, but that clearly doesn’t stop you.”
“You’re cringe,” Levi returned.
Exhaustion passed over Colin’s face. He rolled his eyes at Levi’s back.
One after another, the kobolds piled up at the entrance to the hallway. When the bodies stacked too high, Levi charged the pile and knocked it away. At last, the back of the group of kobolds appeared in the distance. The four zombie kobolds clawed at the final members, ineffectually attacking their backs with clumsy slashes.
“Damn waste of good mana,” Levi muttered. A second later, he did a double take. Wait, how many are there?
Fighting the remaining kobolds on autopilot, he counted again, more carefully this time. One, two, three, four, five… five?
One of the zombie kobolds lunged. Its jaws clamped down on the neck of the kobold in front of it. The kobold twisted, screeching. It clawed at the kobold zombie, but the kobold zombie clung on. It felt no pain. Even as the live kobold clawed chunks of the zombie’s chest away, the zombie refused to let go. The live kobold stilled. It went limp.
Levi held his breath. Come on…
Its eyes brightened again. It struggled. The other zombie released it, and the new zombie stood.
Levi clicked his tongue. “I might have unleashed a kobold apocalypse.”
Colin startled. He looked at Levi.
“No, no, no. It’s still draining my mana,” he said, a moment later. “Once I run out of mana, they’re all going to hit the floor.”
He paused. “Or I’m going to lose control, and they’ll be free to do whatever they want. But they’ll probably just re-perish! Probably.”
Colin gave him a worried look.
“I wouldn’t worry about it. Let’s finish up these last kobolds and get on with our lives,” Levi said, patting Colin’s shoulder.
Colin nodded.
“Sorry. Get on with my life. You’re dead, after all. Don’t have a life to get on with.”
Colin sighed.
The final kobold hit the floor, buried under the claws of the zombie kobolds. It struggled, still alive. The zombie kobolds drew back, preparing to gnaw on it.
“Wait. Stop,” Levi said.
The zombies froze. Green light glowed in their eyes. Levi’s mana drained rapidly for a beat, then stabilized. He huffed out a breath, startled. “Commands take mana? Noted.”
He stepped forward. His mana was running low. It was a perfect time to check out his new ability. Levi took a deep breath and put his hand on the kobold. It twisted, trying to bite him. The zombies instinctively slammed it back to the floor, protecting Levi even without a command.
“Oh? Also good to know.” The zombies would protect him on autopilot. That was very convenient.
Levi activated Drain. The kobold had been struggling all this time, trying to fight back, but now it squirmed. With all its being, it tried to escape his grasp. He kept pushing, refusing to lift his hand. The life swirled out of it, flowing into Levi as a cool stream of mana. It shriveled under his hand. From a healthy, plump lizard, it shrank away to nothing. Its skin hung loose on its bones. Its eyes dulled. It let out a final sigh as its entire body gave up. It disintegrated into dust. The zombies dropped to the floor with nothing to lean on.
Levi stood upright. He dusted himself off. Coolness rushed around his lungs. A comfortably full sensation came from his mana. He sighed aloud. “Nothing like a good suck.”
Colin visibly flinched. “God.”
Turning, Levi shook his finger at the zombie. “It’s goddess, now. Don’t be rude to the nice lady who let me bring you back. Even if she did only have one gazonga.”
Colin stared at him blankly.
“What? You met her. Big lady, and I mean big big. Skeleton on one half, gazonga on the other… anything come to mind?”
“Can you describe her any other way?” Colin requested.
“So you do remember her. Be polite to my new patron goddess, okay? Make sure you use her name in vain, not some other previous-world deity. I mean, we didn’t even meet that one in the flesh, you know?”
“I think you’re the one being impolite. And aren’t we not supposed to use gods’ names in vain?”
Levi shrugged. “I dunno. Didn’t ask her. I’ll put it on the list of questions for the next time I see her. Right after, ‘what happened to your other gaz—’”
“HEY! What’re you fuckers doing to my kobolds?”
Levi and Colin whirled. A beat later, the kobold zombies turned as well.
Four thugs stood at the hallway the kobolds had emerged from. Three bulky, muscular men stood in a loose arc behind a slender but muscular woman. She grimaced at them. “I was farming those for EXP. Killsteal!”
“How the hell was I supposed to know, when they came pouring down my throat? Can’t blame me for just trying to stay alive,” Levi argued back.
“Didn’t you think it was weird when a hundred kobolds came rushing at you? Didn’t stop to think that someone might be deliberately herding them?” She crossed her arms at her and knitted her brows.
Levi crossed his arms back. “Uh, no, I didn’t. Why the fuck would anyone know enough about kobold biology to know if they’re herd animals or not? As far as I’m concerned, they might move in packs of a few hundred.”
Colin waved his hands. He lifted a finger to his lips.
“Get ready for heal duty,” Levi murmured quietly to him. He rolled out his shoulders, lowering his hand near his hilt.
Across the way, the thugs narrowed their eyes as well. Their leader, the woman, cracked her knuckles and subtly slid brass knuckles onto her fingers.
Colin sighed. He backed into the nook in the wall and raised his staff.
“You were reincarnated here, too, weren’t you?” the woman guessed.
Levi bowed. “Incorrect. I jumped in a portal. The name’s Levi. It’s good to meet you, however brief our meeting might be.”
She snorted. Thumbing to her left, she said, “Jessie, and them boys’re Mac the Killer, Hammerhead Joe, and Dave. What class did you get?”
“Me? Soldier. Colin back there was a priest. Is a priest,” Levi replied.
Colin raised is brows at Levi.
Ignoring him, Levi quickly drew up his status sheet. What level am I, now?
Levi | 18 | Lv 18
Class: Necromancer [SPECIAL]
Str: 16
Mag: 39
Dex: 18
Spd: 20
Def: 10
Res: 37
[Basic Swordsmanship]
[Shadow Manipulation]
[Shadow Step]
[Raise Dead]
[Drain]
Not bad. Let’s beat these guys and hit 20. He dismissed the screen, turning back to his enemies.
“Ha. You might have the one class worse than my ‘Thug.’ Kiss my boots, Soldier boy, and I might forgive you.”
“Sorry, but I’m not into humiliation play.” Levi paused. “…where I’m the one being humiliated.”
She laughed. In a heartbeat, she sobered. She snapped her fingers. Her three underlings rushed at Levi.
Levi drew his sword in a flash of steel. The five kobold zombies stood closer, eyes locked onto the thugs. He laughed, eyes alight with the thrill of battle.
“Come at me, lameos.”
