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Death is a Suggestion 2. Farming Hard
🕑 Added 2024-09-13 00:52:06 +0000 UTCA/N: What am I thinking? I totally forgot the synopsis! Here it is:
When he's isekai'd into another world, Levi takes it in stride. When he's forced to level up so he can fight in the new world's wars, he grins and hatches with an escape plan. When it turns out he's nothing but cannon fodder to the army, marked for death, he cuts and runs, and damn the consequences.
And so he winds up dead.
But the Goddess of Death has other plans for our hero. She allows his fellow isekai'd hero healer to res him, so she can gift him her unique holy class: Necromancer. With that, she sets Levi loose upon the world, to do as he will. If Levi's got anything, he's got will. With his trusty zombie healer at his side, our less-than-trusty hero sets out to level up, obtain vengeance for his fellow isekai'd brethren, conquer the world, and--wait, what was that last one?
LitRPG Necromancer Number-go-up comedy fun!
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“Anyone else get the vibe that they’re farming heroes?” Levi asked, tearing off a hunk of rough brown bread. The meal before them was hardly the stuff of legend. Homely loaves of bread sat beside a thick, equally brown stew. Still, it was hearty, and stuck to the ribs. Exactly what he needed after a long day of fighting.
The soldiers had collected their weapons at the end of the day. They’d practically had to wrestle the sword away from Kai, but everyone else gave their weapons up peacefully. Little as Levi had wanted to, he’d given in to peer pressure and handed over his sword as well. With that done, they’d been led to the dining hall, where they and the soldiers ate in the same large, open space. Across the hall, Adelie, who’d summoned them, all but slept in her stew. There was no sign of the Grand Mage or the Prince.
“What?” Colin asked. He stared at Levi in shock.
Kai scoffed. “It’s just because you’re weak.”
“Kai the asshole king aside, it’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? I mean, that whole goblin-kill-farming cage. The walls with the archers pointed inward. We’re not beloved heroes, we’re conscripts being given the bare-minimum treatment.” Levi leaned forward. He bridged his fingers together. “Putting the tinfoil hat on, I bet we aren’t even fighting a Demon King. We’re probably just foot soldiers in some bullshit regional war.”
“We’re the only ones with stats,” Kai pointed out. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.
Levi nodded. “Granted.”
“Wouldn’t that make us incredibly more powerful than the enemy soldiers?” Brooke put forth.
“Unless they can also summon ‘heroes,’” Levi pointed out.
Jake mopped his brow. “What are we supposed to do about it?”
“Level up. Get as strong as we can. I mean, what the hell, right? No point turning down free levels. But the second they let us out of this hellhole, we run for it. Sprint for the hills. I’m not here to fight some other world’s wars. I’m here to have a good time.”
Kai rolled his eyes. He looked away. “Leave me out of this.”
“Sure. I was planning to, anyways,” Levi allowed, without skipping a beat.
Colin stared at Levi. “Can we escape? Is that…will they let us?”
Levi rolled his eyes, mimicking Kai moments ago. “Of course they won’t let us. They need us, for whatever reason. We’re going to desert, because that’s bullshit.”
“The first thing you’re going to do in another world is go on the run?” Brooke asked.
“Better than fighting a war I don’t give a shit about.”
She shook her head. “I’m going to see it out. They won’t force us to fight forever, surely. And what if there really is a Demon King? You have no evidence to the contrary.”
Levi leaned toward Jake. “Easy for a backliner mage to say.”
Brooke’s eyes narrowed. “The burden of proof is on the one with the wild theories. Prove that we aren’t their heroes. Prove that any of this bullshit you’ve suggested is real. One single iota of proof.”
Levi shrugged. “The archers, pointed inward? The bloodstained field? The cage full of monsters? What part of that wasn’t suspicious to you?”
“What archers? And all the rest of that… maybe the previous heroes failed, and they had to summon more. There’s no rules against summoning more heroes.”
“Right, and it’s not suspicious at all that they had to summon so many more heroes that they have a whole system and complex set up for it?” Levi pointed out.
Brooke rolled her eyes. “Sure, a little. It’s not ‘cut and run’ levels of obvious threat, like you’re making it out to be.”
Levi threw his hands up. He looked around the table. “Anyone else? Any other opinions?”
Jake shook his head. “I’m… I’m going to stay in, too. Do the lawful thing. The right thing. I’ll ask for early release, if you are right. They seemed reasonable. I’m sure they’ll grant it. They have no reason to keep us forever.”
Surprised, Levi raised his brows. He scanned the group, left to right. “Damn, really? I expected it from Kai, but the rest of you?”
Brooke shook her head. Jake wrinkled his nose. Kai turned away.
“Colin?” Levi made eye contact.
Colin quickly turned away. He glanced at the floor. “I, um. Don’t want to get in trouble.”
Levi snorted. He eyed Colin for another moment, then looked away. “Alright, alright. It was just a joke. Don’t worry about it.”
Brooke snorted, exasperated. “Don’t joke about that kind of thing.”
Jake laughed. He wiped his shiny forehead. “You really had me going there.”
Kai gave him a disbelieving look, then dismissed him.
Colin glanced around. He licked his lips, then leaned forward. “Um. How’d everyone get here?”
“What, you mean like, how’d we get isekai’d?” Levi asked.
Colin nodded. “I was crossing the road. That’s the last thing I remember.”
“Truck-kun. A classic,” Levi said, nodding in approval.
“Same. I got destroyed by a truck,” Brooke agreed.
Jake wiped his face on his sleeve. “Tripped and fell off a bridge.”
“Oh, tripped, huh,” Levi muttered. He looked at Kai.
Kai twisted his nose. “Got shot.”
“Got shot?” Levi raised his brows.
“Yeah.” Kai turned away.
“That’s not ominous,” Levi muttered.
Brooke leaned in. “What about you, Levi?”
“Oh, me? I jumped in a portal,” Levi said.
The other three stared. Even Kai turned around and gave him a look.
Levi spread his hands. “It seemed like a good idea at the time…?”
“There’s portals where you’re from? Hold on, are we not all from the same Earth?” Brooke asked.
“You’ve never seen a Gate?” Jake asked.
Colin stared around, wide-eyed. He shook his head. “That’s fantasy.”
Jake and Levi shared a look. Levi raised his shoulders. “Different Earths! That’s fun.”
“Why are we even listening to you?” Kai asked abruptly. He stood. Without another word, he walked off. One of the soldiers peeled off the wall and gestured for Kai to follow him, and the two of them banished into the night.
Levi licked his lips. He turned back to the group. “Over-under on that guy surviving the night?”
“Who, Kai?” Brooke asked.
“No. The poor soldier escorting Kai.”
She gave him a dead look. “Why are you so harsh on Kai? Calm down. He’s just stressed, the same as the rest of us. You make him out to be some kind of serial killer…monster, or something.”
Levi spread his hands. “Because he is? Are you fucking blind?”
Colin patted Levi on the shoulder. He shook his head.
“He’s a bit of an edgelord, but that’s it. He’s just an edgy dude. Don’t take him so seriously. You’ll only encourage him,” Brooke said.
“Alright, alright. Hey, when you find yourself in a dark alley alone with Kai and he pulls the cleaver out, don’t come crying to me.” Levi pushed up from the table. A soldier stepped forward, but he waved his hand.
The soldier ignored his wave and marched to Levi’s side.
Levi eyed him up and down. “Hello, Big Brother.”
“I’m not your brother,” the soldier snapped.
“I know. Follow me at your own risk, by the way. Kai’s in a mood.” Without explaining any further, Levi walked away.
The soldier followed at his heel.
--
“Left.”
Levi glanced over his shoulder. “Is it a crime to wander? I just want to see the area.”
The soldier lowered the spear he carried. The blade shone next to Levi’s face. “Left.”
“Message received! Wow, you guys are real fun.” Levi shook his head. He looked over his shoulder at the soldier. “You know, the rest of them believe the ‘heroes’ bullshit. If you’re a little nicer than this, they might keep falling for it.”
The soldier remained impassive. He jabbed the spear threateningly at Levi.
“This isn’t your first rodeo, huh.”
From nearby came a gurgle. A horrible moan echoed down a narrow alley. The soldier whirled.
Levi raised his hand. “Let me handle it.”
The soldier gave him a suspicious look, but didn’t stop Levi as he slid down the alley. At the end, the alley opened up into a small nook, and there, Kai pressed his guard up against the wall by his mouth. A knife from the dinner table jutted from the man’s stomach. Kai whipped around. He ripped the knife out of the man’s gut and brandished it at Levi.
Calmly, Levi stepped in. He pressed the knife down with the flat of his hand. Kai immediately fought against his push, lowering his other hand to struggle against Levi’s one. The second he dropped his second hand, Levi’s other hand snapped out and caught Kai’s throat. He threw Kai against the wall with his momentum, pinning him by the throat.
Kai glared at him. He fought with all his might to free his knife. His hands lifted, pulling it toward Levi. Levi’s pathetic stats couldn’t beat Kai’s. But that wasn’t important.
“Shh. Shh. I’m here to help,” Levi said.
Kai slowed. He narrowed his eyes.
“Stop trying to stab me, and we’ll talk.”
“Why?” Kai grunted.
“Uh, because I don’t want to be stabbed?”
“Why help?”
“Ohhh. Right. Because these soldiers are full of bullshit and deserve to die for forcibly conscripting us. That’s a war crime, by the way. Forcible conscription of fighters who aren’t a party to the conflict.”
Kai stared at him. His hand stopped pressing against Levi’s. He dropped the knife.
“There we go! We’re all friends here.” Levi stepped back, releasing Kai.
Kai lunged. His hands closed in on Levi’s throat.
Levi ducked, turning his body to the side. He grabbed Kai’s hands as they slammed past him and pushed his hip into Kai’s center of gravity. He pulled and turned, sending Kai up and over him. Kai dropped to the floor with an oof.
Levi snatched up the knife. He pointed it at Kai. “Dude. Chill. I checked, I asked, we’ve only got one life each. I don’t want to waste mine here. Let’s be rational. Same team, same team.”
Kai climbed warily to his feet. He narrowed his eyes at Levi. “You aren’t going to report me?”
“Hell no. I approve. Kill more soldiers. Actually, I just came to tell you to stab them in the back instead. They let out an instinctive huff and don’t scream. Nice and quiet.” Levi gave him a thumbs up.
Kai stared at him blankly.
Levi tossed the knife in one hand. “Look. I already figured out that you’re a psycho serial killer… question mark, serial killer wannabe? This is no revelation. Only thing I’m mad about is that no one took me up on my bet.”
“Your bet?” Kai asked.
“Yeah, on whether or not your guard would survive the night.” Levi tossed the knife to Kai. “Any chance you might be interested in escaping?”
Kai snorted. He snatched the knife out of the air. “I work alone.”
“Wow, lone wolf, such protagonist, very edge.” Levi made a face. “Yuck, you made me meme at you with a stale-ass dead meme. Gross.”
Kai stared.
Levi pointed finger guns at him. “If you ever feel like working alone at the same time as I also work alone to escape, let me know!” He backed toward the mouth of the nook.
“Wait.”
Levi waited. He raised his brows expectantly.
Kai looked him up and down. “What are you?”
“A very ordinary human being who knows one or two judo throws, just like all people do,” Levi said. He slid backward into the alley.
“No way. There’s something more to you. You’ve seen battle. Real battle.” Kai narrowed his eyes at the slit as Levi retreated down it. “What was your Earth like?”
“Normal. Completely normal. Nothing strange about it at all. A perfectly normal apocalyptic hellscape.”
“A perfectly normal—what?”
Kai stared at empty darkness. Levi was gone.
He grimaced. “Fucking freak.”
Comments
David Mansfield
I get that he's worked out they're farming heros, but the leap to "no demons" feels a bit too far. I don't think the readers will guess, and could lead to a "not paranoid enough!" moment when they reach the battle field.
Tom C
Levi actually says a meme out loud? Oh my god this guy is a twat MC is a bit of a try-hard, sure his observations are probably on point but he’s about as tactful as a plank of wood.
