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Death is a Suggestion 1. The Other Side
🕑 Added 2024-09-13 00:50:12 +0000 UTCA/N: Hey all! I've been working on a new book again. This one's comedy! And if anyone remembers him, it stars Levi! No idea who it is? Don't worry. It's a standalone.
I'm going to put the first six chapters in all the tiers, then relegate it to the two books/Apocalypse Me/Superhero Tiers from then on. If you decide you want it, consider upgrading your membership!
I can't promise a release schedule, since I'm still writing Skill Hunter daily and I'm just writing this one on the side. But if you enjoy it, please consider sticking around!
Thump.
Levi landed in an ungainly pile of limbs, upside down, all tangled. He laid there for a long moment, waiting.
Grass swayed before his eyes. High above him, a great blue sky welcomed him. Warm sunlight beamed down, and a few clouds scudded across the sky. A gentle breeze blew, cool on his upturned ass.
“This isn’t what I expected,” he commented, to no one in particular.
“Welcome, heroes!”
Levi untangled himself. He climbed to his feet. “Who the fuck’s calling me a hero?”
He stood in a vast meadow. In the distance, a forest loomed, and beyond that, a tall stone wall enclosed the whole space. A small group of people stood, crouched, or cringed around him. Opposite them, a tall man and a short man in regalia were backed by dozens of armored soldiers.
The tall man, who wore long, multicolored robes frowned. He ran a hand through his long white beard disapprovingly. “Please. You’re in the presence of royalty.”
“What? Where?” Levi looked around.
Four other ordinary-looking people stood around him. They wore t-shirts and jeans, and in one case, a stuffy suit and glasses, with a slightly-too-large gut. Three kids, about Levi’s age, and one old man. The lone girl clutched a Starmucks cup to her chest like a life preserver. One of the boys gave the world a derisive look and a scoff, dismissing all of it. The other cringed, eyes wide with fear. The old man stood there numbly. He pushed his glasses up. No expression passed over his face, but sweat dripped down from his combover. Fear reeked from his body.
Levi frowned. “Which one of them? Starmucks girl? God, I wish I had some coffee right now.”
“Ah-hem.” A high pitched voice let out a petite cough.
He turned back front. Gazing at the old man for a moment, he finally dragged his eyes downward to the short man. Not a man at all, he realized abruptly, but a child. Haughty cheekbones, chubby child cheeks, and a weak chin. An itch instantly built up in Levi’s leg, a great desire to punt the bratty child.
“Don’t do it, Levi,” he muttered to himself. From the gold and gems in the boy’s regalia, he was at least a prince.
Not knowing at all the danger he was in, the boy drew himself to his unimpressive height and looked down on Levi and the rest of the group. “Heroes! I bid you welcome. You come to our kingdom in a most trying time.”
Levi leaned toward the terrified-looking boy. “Is it just me, or is it way less impactful to hear that speech in that high-pitched voice?”
The terrified boy flinched. He stared at Levi and trembled a little. With effort, he managed a shy shrug.
The young royal’s face screwed up in rage. He pointed at Levi. “Guards!”
“Prince Harold, please. Restraint. We need these heroes, no matter how tasteless,” the robed man urged him. He stood tall and stroked his beard. “I’ll take over from here. Heroes, our kingdom is in dire straits. We summoned you on the eve of our defeat. If not for you, the Demon King’s army will overwhelm our entire kingdom. Please, now, more than ever—we need your strength.”
“What strength?” the old man asked, before Levi could speak.
Levi pointed at him.
“There is a power only you heroes possess. The Status Screen. Call out to Status in your hearts, and you should be able to summon its power,” the old man said.
Levi raised his brows. “What, like a video game?”
Status.
System Resetting…
Levi | 18 | Lv 1
Class: Soldier
Str: 1
Mag: 1
Dex: 1
Spd: 3
Def: 1
Res: 1
He shrugged. “Could be worse.”
The aloof boy frowned. “Only ten in each stat? Is that really fitting for a Hero?”
“You’re a Hero?” the prince asked, startled. He looked at the old man.
The old man made an expression somewhere between a smile and a grimace. “Ah, if only we had more time… Hero, thank you for your presence. Adelie, you may have a week’s rest for your efforts.”
Behind the old man and the prince, a slender girl gasped. She was so bone thin, dressed in such rags, that Levi hadn’t seen her at first. Clutching a staff tight, she leaned forward and stared at the man. “Truly?”
“Truly.”
Adelie dropped to her knees. She gripped her staff in both hands. “Thank the gods.”
Levi eyed her. “I’m getting bad vibes about the working conditions here. Anyone else?”
Starmucks girl raised her hand. Timidly, the scared boy raised his as well.
“Heroes, please don’t despair! We might be in dire straits now, but once you dispel the danger of the Demon King’s army, you will be feted with the finest of feasts and heaped with honors. We will provide everything for you, and you will live your life in ease,” the old man promised. He clasped his hands together. “Now, if you come this way, we’ll get started on working you up to your first class advance at level ten. Once you hit that level, you’ll be able to fight the Demon King’s army on even footing.”
“Oh, is that so,” Levi said. He frowned and pointed at the old man and the prince. “If it’s so easy, why don’t you two do it?”
“We have no access to the holy Status Sheet. Only heroes from other worlds can access it,” the old man said, shaking his head in regret.
“Ah… yeah. Sounds reasonable,” Levi said. He met the girl and boy’s eyes and shook his head slowly.
“Who cares? Point me at the monsters. It’s time for the Hero to level up,” the aloof boy declared, stepping forward.
“First, names. And Class, please. It’s in your status sheet, if you can’t find it,” the old man requested, clasping his hands together.
“Kai, Hero,” the aloof boy declared.
“God, what a fucking main character,” Levi muttered under his breath.
The nervous boy laughed. He caught himself a second later and glanced down.
“Brooke. Mage,” the girl declared firmly.
“Jake Ablesworth. Er, my class says ‘Fighter,’ but I’ve never fought a day in my life,” the old man said. He drew out a tissue and mopped his brow.
The nervous boy glanced at Levi. Levi gestured for him to go ahead. Glancing at his feet, he stammered, “C-colin. Er, healer.”
“And you can call me Levi,” Levi chipped in with a smile.
“Class?” the old man prompted him.
“Let’s hear your name, first.”
The prince bristled. He stepped forward, his face twisting in fury. Before he could speak, the old man put his hand out. “It’s a fair question, Prince Harold. You may call me Magus Argo. I am the Grand Mage of the kingdom.”
“And you aren’t out fighting the Demon King because…?” Levi asked, raising his brows.
“You dare question the Grand Mage—”
The old man rested a hand on Prince Harold’s shoulders. “Peace, child. No, this, too, is a fair question. I am old. While I have the skill to cast immense spells, it takes me a great amount of time to cast them. Days. By the time I finished the preparations for a fireball, the Demon King would already have overrun the capital. In my youth, perhaps… but there’s no point wondering about what ifs. Instead, we must rely on you heroes.”
Levi shrugged. “Sure. I mean, you could just say, ‘Fuck that shit. Have fun on the front line, chumps,’ but I guess that sounds nicer. I’m class Soldier, by the way. Shit class, if my stats are anything to go by.”
Behind the old man, Adelie flinched. She cowered, preemptively covering her head.
Grand Mage Argo merely patted her head. “It’s fine, Adelie. You also brought us a Hero. You will get your rest.”
She looked up, shocked. Afraid to speak, she nodded mutely.
Grand Mage Argo clapped. Armored men appeared from behind him and marched forward. “Please follow your instructors. In the next few days, they will guide you to level ten.”
“Hey, um, before we go. I couldn’t help but notice that there was no ‘Lives’ counter?” Levi asked.
“What?” Grand Mage Argo asked.
Levi nodded. “You know, ‘Lives.’ Like in the most basic, early platformers. You usually get at least… three? Can earn more? Since we’re in this game-like situation, and we’ve got stats and a stat sheet and all, shouldn’t we get Lives, too?”
Grand Mage Argo frowned. He shook his head. “I’ve never heard of such a thing. Maybe at the highest levels…?”
Levi licked his lips. He grinned. “That is unfortunate.”
“Then go, noble heroes! And grow strong. I will look forward to congratulating you on your return.” With that, Grand Mage Argo swept away, leading Prince Harold with him.
“Can I opt out?” Levi asked.
Giving no indication he’d heard Levi, Grand Mage Argo walked into the distance. The armored figures approached them. They gestured, guiding the five of them off into the yard.
Levi took in the space once more. Tall walls encompassed a large area, including an open yard and a vast forest. There was no break in the wall. Armor glinted from atop the walls. Here and there, archers stood at crenelations. Watching them. Their bows pointed inward.
Levi raised a brow. “Heroes, huh? I don’t feel like one.”
--
The armored people led them to a bloody, trampled yard. One stepped forward. Unlike the others, she wore a plume on her helmet. Crossing her arms, she looked down at them. “Who can use swords?”
“None of us?” Levi asked.
She rolled her eyes. “It’s in your proficiencies.”
Levi raised his brows. He called up his status sheet. At a guess, he called silently, proficiencies.
Soldier Proficiencies: All basic weapons (sword, spear, axe, mace)
“Me,” Kai announced, raising his hand.
Levi held up his hand as well. “Me, but un-pompously.”
“Er, mine says ‘none?’” Jake said.
“You’re a Fighter? You use your bare fists,” she said. “And you two, casters?”
“Mage,” Brooke said.
“H-healer,” Colin stammered.
“Would you like tomes or staves? It’s all the same to me,” the woman said.
“Staff,” Brooke said firmly.
Colin glanced at her, then nodded.
The other armored figures brought them their weapons. One brought out some cloth and started wrapping up Jake’s fists. As the five of them strapped on their weapons, the woman crossed her arms.
“You can call me Captain Tash. As far as you’re concerned, I’m the Goddess. Whatever I say is law. If you stick by my commands, I’ll get you to level ten in five days. Fuck around—”
“And find out?” Levi interrupted. He weighed the sword in his hand. He’d never held one before, but this one fit neatly into his hand. Its weight felt familiar, comforting, even. He slashed once or twice, getting used to its length. I’m used to knives, not swords. But it’s not that different, in the end.
“—and you won’t be ready for the Demon King,” she said, ignoring him. She scanned over them, her blue eyes flashing. Blonde hair fluttered under her helmet. “It’s my job to whip you losers into shape, so you won’t crumple the first time you see a sword pointed at you. Now. Are you ready?”
“For what?” Levi asked.
“For your first level.”
“Enough talking,” Kai interrupted. He spun his sword and caught it, gripping it firmly before him. “Let’s start the slaughter.”
“Jeeeeesus. Were you this edgy in the real world? Did you cut yourself on that edge, emo lord?” Levi asked, rounding on Kai.
Kai looked down at him. He scoffed and looked away.
Levi turned to Colin. “Are you hearing this? Do you believe this shit?”
Colin glanced at him, then glanced away. He hugged his staff.
Captain Tash turned around. She snapped at her underlings. “Release the goblins.”
Saluting, the armored men marched to the far side of the yard. One turned a crank. A cage rose up out of the ground. Small, green-skinned creatures were crammed inside it. They clawed at the bars, fighting to break free.
“Kill them all.” With that, Captain Tash marched away.
Levi gripped his sword tight. He leaned forward, licking his lips. Brooke’s knuckles whitened on her staff. She held it out in front of her like a talisman, as if it could ward off the monsters before them. Colin cowered behind them, hugging his staff to his body. Jake reluctantly stepped forward, giving his fists an uncertain look.
Kai charged the cage, his sword already drawn back.
The front panel of the cage hit the floor. The goblins burst out. The first three charged Kai. The rest split around him like water around a rock. They rushed at Levi and the others.
Kai’s sword flashed. The first three goblins fell. He turned to chase the others.
A blast of fire struck down one of the goblins as Brooke raised her staff. Levi ran out. He cut down one of the goblins with ease. The creature was small and unarmed. It had no hope of reaching him past his sword.
They’ve engineered this so we can’t lose. They’re setting us up to think we’re stronger than we are, he noted quietly.
A claw flashed at his side. Thoughtlessly, he blocked it with his free arm. A gash opened on his forearm, and blood spilled out.
“Oh,” Levi muttered, looking at it. He laughed quietly.
Colin yelped in alarm. He all but threw his staff out. Bright gold light shone from its tip, then sparked around Levi’s cut. The cut sealed itself shut.
“Hey, thanks!” He raised his hand, beaming at Colin.
Colin smiled back nervously. He gave a little wave.
“Don’t look away from the fight!” Jake blasted past Levi and punched a goblin in the head. The goblin tumbled away, punch-drunk.
“Right!” Levi nodded. He jumped forward, finishing off the downed goblin.
The four of them formed a loose formation. Levi and Jake formed the front lines. Brooke hit the ones who got past them. Colin healed anyone who got hit. And out in front, Kai swept across the field, murdering over half the goblins that escaped the cage. The first cage emptied. The soldiers lowered it back into the earth and raised it back up, full of goblins once more. Over and over, until everyone but Kai wobbled, on the brink of exhaustion. Jake had long since removed his suit jacket, and his shirt was soaked through at the pits and chest. Levi’s tattered clothes tinged darker by the moment. Brooke’s coffee cup emptied, and perspiration spotted her flawless brow. Even Colin, on the furthest of the back lines, sagged against his staff.
Captain Tash stepped forward. She raised her arm, halting the soldiers from drawing up the next cageful. “How many levels?”
“Four,” Kai declared.
Levi held up three fingers, and Brooke did the same. Colin and Jake both held up two.
“That’s enough for today. Tomorrow, we’ll fight hobgoblins. Expect a tougher fight. Remember, you hit your first class promotion at level ten. Think about what you might want to be,” Captain Tash said.
Kai stepped forward. “I can keep going.”
“Did you hear me? That’s enough for today. The first five levels are freebies. It gets tough from here. Don’t underestimate the System,” she barked.
Kai closed in. He pointed his sword at the Captain. “I can keep going.”
Levi raised his brows. He glanced over his shoulder, at the archers on the battlements. Arrows glittered. Bows drew taut.
Captain Tash glanced up as well. She lifted her hand, forming a fist. “Stand down, soldier. Fighting tired is no way to fight. You’ll have plenty blood soon enough.”
Kai hesitated. His eyes flashed upward, following Captain Tash’s glance. He harrumphed. Silently, he lowered his sword.
Captain Tash nodded. “It’s good to be eager, but there’s a limit. Let’s get you fed and get you a good night’s sleep. More of the same tomorrow.”
Levi raised his hand. “Are you having us actually fight instead of just farm EXP because we’re going to need to know how it feels to kill, soon?”
“You’ve got a bright future, Soldier. We need you to fight the Demon King. Does us no good if you’re bloated up with EXP, but have never had a taste of combat. Recruits start puking on the field, and that’s useless to all of us.”
Levi nodded. He opened his mouth, then shut it. A small smile spread over his face. “Dinnertime.”
Comments
Akkido
How dare you make another fic that brings me back to your patreon.
NeetarNeet
Alright! Action packed start…let’s see where this goes!
