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228. A Trap
🕑 Added 2024-11-24 15:00:02 +0000 UTCThe sharp object surged toward them. It filled up the entire cavern, its sharp tip centered on the cave, but if they stood still, it would crush them as it passed anyways.
Wisp’s arm tightened around Ike. She ran up the wall and threw them both into the first cave she came to. The object hurtled past, surging up toward the ceiling of the cave. It pierced through and went going.
Behind the sharp object, a huge… something flew up after it. It moved so fast it was a blur, but it seemed to be made of stone. Ike squinted at it. “Is that… a castle?”
Wisp blinked. She walked closer, peeking at the passing object. “Stone walls… windows… looks kind of like a castle, yeah.”
“Is Mag alright?” Shawn asked.
Ike glanced at him. “Last I saw, he was in a cave. Unless he did something really stupid, he’s fine.”
“If it’s a castle, and this is a trial to choose the next king, isn’t this part of the trial, then?” Wisp guessed.
Ike nodded. “That’s about what I’d say, yeah.”
“Boo. I was hoping it was treasure,” Wisp complained.
Ike laughed. “If you think about it, the faster we beat this trial, not only do we get out to hunt more treasure faster, but we also get to pick up the treasure associated with the trial faster.”
Wisp’s eyes lit up. She nodded, slowly, as the idea sunk in. “Ike. Let’s beat this trial!”
“Of course. I wasn’t going to do anything less. That skill is mine,” Ike declared.
She frowned. “If we win, will you be king, though? That’d be weird.”
“Nah, I don’t think so. No matter what some random trial says, no one’s going to bow their heads to a slumrat like me. Everyone thinking this trial will actually lead to them becoming king is deluded. All it is, is a trial that gives half of a very powerful skill orb. And with a very powerful skill, you can become king, since you then have power. It’s no more than that. If power lets you rule, then this trial gives you power. That simple.
“But I’m not interested in actually being king, so I’m just going to take that skill and fly off into the sunset, go beat up Lord Brightbriar, and never come back.”
Wisp nodded. “Good. That creepy puppet fucker is gross. He needs to die.”
Ike froze. He looked at her slowly. “You think he…”
“What? Oh—ha. No. I just meant, you know, a fucker who uses puppets.” Wisp paused as well. Her eyes travelled to Ike’s bag. “But then… he did make that beautiful girl puppet…”
“She’s his daughter,” Ike retorted. A second later, he almost vomited in his mouth. “She’s his daughter…”
“You know what? Let’s just forget I ever said that, and stop thinking about this,” Wisp suggested.
“I—yeah. Let’s do that,” Ike agreed. He rubbed his chin, the thought haunting him. His daughter… puppet fucker…
Forcibly, he shook his head. Nope. I’m not thinking about that any longer.
At last, the castle stopped moving. A hallway aligned with their cave, letting them into the castle. Ike and Wisp exchanged a glance, then stepped forward into the castle.
The second Ike’s foot hit the floor, a message appeared before his eyes.
Welcome, Would-Be King
This is your castle. Protect it.
“Well, that’s not ominous,” Wisp muttered.
“You saw that, too?” Ike said.
“Yep. Protect the castle, right? I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
Ike frowned. He looked behind him, a thoughtful expression on his face. His mind went back to the ruined castle they’d stepped into to start the trial. He turned back, looking forward at the castle before them. “I wonder…”
Wisp looked over her shoulder. “What?”
“No, it’s nothing.” Ike sped up from walking to a jog. “Let’s go find Mag, before that birdbrain does something stupid.”
“Right, yeah.”
They raced past dungeons, complete with steel barred doors and manacles hanging empty, up past a guards barracks, the kitchens, the servants’ quarters, on and on through the bowels of the castle until they finally reached the statesrooms and the ornate hallways meant for guests. At last, they walked down a long corridor. Sun streamed in from the windows on either side, while a pair of double doors awaited at the end of the hall.
“What is it with castles and double doors?” Ike asked.
“They’re impressive, or something. It’s a human thing,” Wisp explained. “Personally, I’d just welcome you in with a big wall of sticky thread and deal with you one at a time, on my own clock. I think that’s far more impressive than two big doors.”
Ike looked at Wisp. “I think most people would assume you were going to eat them, if you did that.”
“Well, that is the second side of it. If I don’t want to deal with you and I’m hungry, it becomes my snack wall. Beautiful, performative, and convenient. What’s not to love?”
“Spiders don’t get a lot of visitors, do they,” Ike said.
“Oh, we get lots. We just have a very decisive way of dealing with them.”
They reached the end of the hall. Ike pushed the doors open. They swung wide, revealing a massive throne room.
Atop the throne, a boy lounged, his legs up over one of the arm rests, resting his head on one hand. At the sight of them, he hopped to perch on the throne instead, smirking at them. “The castle recognized me as king. Bow down before your monarch!”
“It called all of us king, birdbrain,” Ike admonished him.
“That’s what you think. In truth, it acknowledged my kingly graces over any of you mere peasants! If you were meant to be king, why did you crawl up from the dungeon, while I was pointed directly into the throne room?” Mag asked, spreading his red robes grandiosely.
Ike opened his mouth. He shut it. Where do I even start?
“He’s got you there,” Wisp said with a shrug.
“Yeah, I… you know, I don’t have an answer to that,” Ike said, chuckling under his breath.
“That’s right. You don’t have an answer, because you know I’m the rightful king,” Mag crooned.
“Rightful king, as decided by which centipede borehole you hid inside,” Ike snarked.
“Sounds as reasonable as anything you humans do,” Wisp said, shrugging.
Ike waved his hand. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that we now have to protect this castle, whatever that means. Wisp, can you take the dungeons? Make sure no centipede boreholes are pointed at open walls, and web them over if they are.”
“Got it,” Wisp said.
“Mag, take to the skies. Get a bird’s eye view of the place we’re in now. I’m seeing sunlight, so I think we’re out of the centipede tunnels for the most part. I bet some of the other contestants have found castles, too, so let’s get the lay of the land.”
“Why should I listen to you?” Mag asked pompously.
“Because, O rightful king, a king’s first job is to listen to the pleas of his people,” Ike replied.
Mag thought for a moment. His brows furrowed. “Is that true? I’ve never had people before.”
“It’s true. Kings are always running around, doing whatever they can for their townsfolk,” Wisp insisted with the absolute confidence of someone who had no idea what they were talking about.
Ike nodded. “It’s simply true.”
“What? I thought kings lazed around all day and made their servants do all the work,” Mag said.
“That is true, but none of us are your servants. We’re your citizens. That means you work for us,” Ike said. Wisp nodded beside him.
Mag grumbled under his breath, but climbed to his feet. “Fine. I need to stretch my wings after all that time in the narrow dark.” He ran to the window and leaped out. Wings sprung from his arms, and he swooped into the air.
The three of them watched him go. On his shoulder, Shawn shook his head. “You two are too devious.”
“What? It’s the truth,” Ike said whole-heartedly. After a second, he chuckled. “Well. The truth as some blind idiots imagine a perfect king to be. And why not encourage Mag to be a perfect king?”
“I just wanted to trick the birdbrain into doing Ike’s bidding,” Wisp said.
Shawn shook his head. “Remind me to always be wary of the two of you agreeing on something.”
“Ah, come on. What would we trick you about? Not sitting on our shoulder all day?” Ike said, nudging Shawn.
“Speaking of, what are you going to do?” Wisp asked.
Ike gestured at the castle around them. “Get the layout of the castle, figure out where the defenses are, see where we have weak points. Figure out where the other contestants are most likely to attack.”
“Gotcha. Sounds reasonable. See you in a bit,” Wisp said. She jogged back toward the dungeons, humming happily to herself.
“Is that true?” Shawn asked warily.
Ike looked at him. “What? Of course it is. I need to learn more about this castle I’m supposed to defend. Why would I lie about that? And why lie to Wisp, at that?”
“I don’t know. After the way you dealt with Mag…”
Ike sighed. “Oh, come on. You’re asking like I’m some master grifter, or something.”
“Are you not?”
Ike shook his head at Shawn. “Yeah, yeah.” Still shaking his head, he walked off into the castle, taking to the battlements.
Comments
Tom C
Wisp insisted with the absolute confidence of someone who had no idea what they were talking about. Ahahah I love wisp. She is just brilliant. Excellent chapter! TFTC
