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517. Mud Falls, Everyone Dies
🕑 Added 2023-03-26 14:00:02 +0000 UTCThe reaper looked over her shoulder, then stood, turning. She scowled. “Si Wang! What are you attempting to do?”
Si Wang laughed, not listening. The paper strips on his hat whirled on the breeze, his tattered black robes flying. “Bury them! Bury them all!”
“Elder Sister, is there any meaning to this? Can’t we return directly to the Underworld… or in the worst case, can’t you stomp the mud away again?” Hui asked.
The reaper nodded. “I can.”
“Cultivators don’t need to breathe, and these bodies particularly don’t have any need for breath. He can try to smother us, but it’s meaningless,” Hui said.
“Yes,” the reaper said.
Hui frowned at the wave of mud, then looked at the reaper again. “Is he plotting something, or…?”
She wrinkled her nose. “Who knows.”
Taking a deep breath, Hui looked the reaper in the eye. “Elder Sister, you might call it useless, but please answer me honestly. Are you and that man lovers, ex-lovers, fated lovers, unaware of one another’s affections, or otherwise romantically entwined or inclined?”
These kinds of illogical actions only happen around tragic romances in my novels! Killing a village for no reason… could it be, to gain Elder Sister’s attention? Holding me hostage… could it be, because I might attract Elder Sister’s eye? Trapping us here… could it be, to tie down Elder Sister’s heart? Hitting us with mud, could it be…
…
…to get Elder Sister dirty so she has to remove her clothes? Ah, no! It’s too possible. It’s such a basic romance trope. “Oh no, the man or woman I love is dirty, take off your robes and wear mine instead,” isn’t that how it always goes?
All these illogical actions make sense if you assume he’s in love with Elder Sister, and has a romance protagonist’s way of handling his love!
Next thing I know, one of us is going to get poisoned somehow, and if the poison can be resolved the way those tragic romance poisons can only ever be resolved—that is, by vigorous nighttime exercises, I’d really like to know in advance, okay?
Whenever a side character like me takes on that kind of poison, the fatality rate is far too high! The main characters can get away with vigorous exercise, but us side characters can only stare into the dark chasm of death in the background! If we’re lucky, the romance-entwined characters might remember us with love as they get happily married.
This small Hui doesn’t want that! Not at all! To think, even after I founded a harem, I still got entwined as a side character in someone else’s romance! Ahh, my soul will surely be dispersed soon if I stick around this Si Wang and reaper duo!
The reaper snorted dryly. “Not at all.”
Hui jolted. “Not at all?”
“Not at all,” she confirmed.
“Not even a crush?”
“Not even a crush.”
Hui bit his lip, thinking. “Not even a momentary fling? A single night in the springtime of your collective undead youths?”
“Don’t be disgusting.”
“Not even… one-sided affection held secretly on his part, that he hid during his duties without daring to ever let you know?” Hui queried.
She frowned at him. “How would I know about that?”
“Ah… no. Elder Sister has a point,” Hui said, nodding. Somewhere, a thousand romance characters just clutched their chests, shot directly in the heart by Elder Sister’s flawless logic! Light a candle for all those romance protagonists!
Ying Lin, I could really use your expertise now. I’m not versed enough in romances to know if this Si Wang is merely a madman, or a man driven mad by love! Praying to goddess Ying Lin, please answer!
He waved his hand. No, no. I don’t need to call down an Immortal from the Heavens for this kind of trifling conflict. It’s true that we’re trapped right now, but I haven’t tried to break out yet. It’s true there’s mud coming for me, but even a coward like me can’t figure out how it’ll kill us. We’ll be fine, probably. And besides, Si Wang wouldn’t kill his lover… right? Assuming he is in love with the reaper, that is.
Looking at the mud again, Hui shook his head. I can’t bet on him planning nothing. I still have a great many of the Hundred and Eight Layers. If I need to, I can expand them and include the reaper inside, as well. Instead, let’s see if I can break out of this barrier!
He slapped his hand against the wall and sent an experimental pulse of qi inside. Death qi… damn, it’d be easy to break this if I had some life qi on hand! I miss being alive…
“What are you doing? He can’t hurt us,” the reaper said flatly.
“Elder Sister, that’s the kind of complacency that gets a man killed!” Hui responded. He closed his eyes and focused more intently on the barrier. If I can’t kill it with opposing qi, I have to figure out how to break it open. But how…?
The barrier appeared in his mind’s eye. Pillars of black light grounded each of the corners, shooting up into infinity. Hui scowled. Right, this barrier has anchors. It’ll be hard… nigh impossible, to destroy it without first destroying them. But they’re outside the barrier, so I have no choice but to figure it out!
He looked up at the wave of mud and swallowed. Er, if I can. That mud’s moving fast!
Aura suddenly burst out of the mud. Hui snapped around.
“Resentment. Don’t let it taint you,” the reaper whispered. She waved her hand lightly, and a barrier sprung up around her.
“What happens if it does?” Hui asked, suddenly nervous. I’ve come into contact with it once already… I even absorbed some! Don’t tell me it’s poisonous, Elder Sister!
Eh, well… then again, death qi and rot qi are poisonous to most cultivators. I haven’t felt any ill effects.
She shook her head. Her eyes lifted to Si Wang overhead.
He went mad from resentment? His own, or this external boiling heat? Hui wondered. A second later, he frowned. But… if he went mad from resentment, why cleave all these souls into disparate souls and create more resentment? Misery loves company? Or is there something else going on here?
“Is there anything we can do about the resentment? Any way to dispel it?” Hui asked.
The reaper snorted. “If it was so easy, would I be so helpless against it?”
Fair point, I suppose, Hui thought, shrugging.
Flicking his sleeve, he activated his barriers. Gold-black light swirled around him. The two colors mixed together, the same as they had in his dantian. Something resonated in his soul at the sight of it, and Hui took a short breath. My Dao. Something about this… I need to meditate on it!
Er, not now. But I’ll hold this thought for later!
Subtly, Hui rubbed his hand against itself, forming a white lotus seed. With a flick of his finger, a tiny hole opened in the barrier, and he dropped it into the mud.
I still feel like I can talk to these resentment demons. If I can talk to them, maybe we can clear up their resentment!
And uh, worst case… I’ll just point them at the Eight Tiers Palace and give the Eastern Alliance something to worry about other than causing trouble in the Southern Sect Conference.
The mud poured down into the bowl the reaper had carved out of the ground. Frothing and roaring, it smashed into the first row of houses and leveled them. Street by street, it swept through the town, swallowing up bodies and structures alike. Stones flew, blasting past Hui and the reaper. Hui ducked, raising his hands over his head as a tile hurtled over him.
“Arise!” Si Wang shouted.
The mud slammed into the barrier that enclosed Hui and the reaper. It overturned the anchor bones and snuffed out the incense. The barrier winked out. Hungry, the wave of mud lunged for Hui and the reaper, maw gaping high over their heads.
Comments
mordante
Hui is wise not getting into a lover's spat between two demigod-like cultivators. That kind of thing invariably kills the side character to show off how serious it is. :V
