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506. How to Fake a Life
🕑 Added 2023-03-15 15:00:03 +0000 UTCBack in the Underworld, Hui immediately staggered and pressed a hand to his forehead. “My… cultivation… Elder Sister, I need to rest.”
“Didn’t you resolve that?” the reaper asked, giving him a dead look.
“Ah! The sequelae! It hurts!” Hui cried out, crumpling in on himself.
The reaper took a deep breath. “Fine. You did a good job with your first reaping, so I’ll overlook your bad acting.”
“Elder Sister, bad acting? I’m injured, I’m earnestly injured!” Hui insisted, straightening up to frown at her.
“Right…” The reaper sighed. “I’ll go report to Zhu Diyu. You rest. You’d better be ready to go back out when the time comes.”
Hui saluted. “Greatly appreciated, Elder Sister. Small cultivator is in… your… deb… is greatly appreciative!”
Shaking her head, the reaper walked off, leaving Hui to his own devices. Hui immediately scurried into his quarters and sat down in the lotus pose to meditate.
Alright! Time to activate those seeds I left behind. Or at least… one of them!
The seeds I created are based off my tree-net and lotus seed technique, though right now, I only have death qi, not life qi. I have no idea if the same network will work without life qi. After all, life is naturally connected to other life. Death… is connected to life, but is it connected to itself? And if it isn’t, can I connect it anyways?
I need to get back to the mortal realm. Although the reaper promised to teach me, she hasn’t yet, and I’m starting to suspect she won’t. Even if I use that technique to reach the mortal realm, I won’t be able to interact with the living parts of the mortal world, and I need to warn Li Xiang and Bai Xue about the imminent danger.
I wonder why the reaper let me hear that? We could have arrived later and missed it. True, it’s not as if she knew what the Tier Master would say before the assassin attacked her, but… hmm, it’s a bit suspicious. Maybe the reaper has a soft spot for me?
Mmm, no. It’s best I don’t get a big head. Besides, I don’t think she wants to encourage me to interact with the mortal realm. She’s already warned against it a few times. And yet, she didn’t protest when I heard that…
But then, maybe the Tier Master wasn’t talking about Bai Xue and Li Xiang, but some other female experts in the Southern Sect Conference, and that’s why she didn’t care that I heard. After all, despite warning me about interacting with the mortal realm, she didn’t say anything after we heard that.
I don’t know. I can’t know. But I can do everything in my power to keep my wives and children safe! Even if they aren’t the targets, I still… want to meet them! It feels like yesterday to me, but for them, it’s been ten years. I’ve barely met either of my children, assuming that the reaper really did let slip that Li Xiang also had a kid. I want to see them!
He settled his breathing and cleared his mind. Reach out. Connect to the seed! Connect across the realms! From the Underworld to the mortal realm. There’s already a conduit between the realms, and there’s no restrictions or Heavenly Nets the way there is between the mortal and Immortal realms. Find the conduit.
What would that conduit look like? What should I look for?
Life. Life qi. Ordinary qi, even. Anything that isn’t death, darkness, and oblivion.
Light. What I’m looking for… is light.
Hui pressed his senses outward. Stone. Ghosts. The other servants in the Underworld. He furrowed his brows. Further. Back across the Sanzu River. From the Far Shore, to the Near Shore, and further back, there should be a path back to the mortal realm. Somewhere…
A spark of light burst out in his vision. Hui darted toward it. On the far side, something dark called to him, a comforting cold like an iced drink on a hot day.
I bet that’s the seed I dropped. Here I come! Excuse me, mortal realm, this small Hui is coming back!
The darkness swelled in his vision. Hui slipped into the darkness, and felt icy coldness press down on him. Thick shells encased him, pitch black and heavy as a coffin lid. He shifted, moving his arms and legs, then pushed the shell open.
He peered out at a setting sun and the vivid colors of the mortal world. Hui’s eyes widened. He climbed out of the seed shell and planted his small feet on the earth.
“I… live!” he cried out in a tiny voice, throwing his fists up and tipping his head back in his best evil genius impression.
A beautiful sunset and idyllic sky awaited him. Cool air crisped the late day air. A thin layer of frost covered the ground beneath him. He looked around.
You know, it would’ve been much better if I came out in the Eastern Alliance’s stormy lands. Then I might’ve had a lightning strike or two for my revival.
He sat and circulated his death qi, growing his small body larger. At least my seeds function the same, whether I need life or death qi. With my real body… no. With my soul in the Underworld, I have a conduit back to all the death qi I’ll ever need.
When he reached his usual height, he stood. He turned, searching for something to ride on, then snapped a piece of bamboo out of a nearby grove and hopped on. Back to the Southern Sect Conference. Back to Starbound Sect, Li Xiang, Bai Xue, and everyone else!
--
Three days later, Hui continued to fly. Storms raged around him, the air thick and humid. Warmer than the cold Northern region, it remained colder than the Southern region he was used to. He flew on, even as rain whipped around his qi shield and wild wind blustered him left and right.
Damn. How big is the Eastern region? I’ve been flying for days!
Has the reaper not noticed that I’m playing hooky? Do we not work every day? I don’t know! Ugh, it’s making me super anxious, but I don’t want to give up, either. I can’t guarantee this will ever work again!
He glanced down, then dropped yet another seed into the Eastern Alliance’s territory. But just in case, I’ll checkpoint my progress with a seed. As long as I have a seed, I can hope to find my way back to the surface.
“Hey.”
Hui startled. His eyes opened. He sat in his quarters in the underworld, still in a mediative pose. The reaper stood over him, her hands on her hips, an eyebrow cocked.
“Ah! Elder Sister, coming into a man’s room without warning. Shouldn’t you at least knock? What if you see something unfortunate?” Hui said, shaking his head at her.
“What would I see that I haven’t seen thousands of times? No one chooses when or where they die. I have seen.” She took a deep breath. “Everything.”
“Ah… my apologies, Elder Sister. I didn’t mean to demean your experience!” Hui said. Already on the floor, he threw himself into a kowtow out of convenience’s sake.
“That is… unless a certain someone was up to no good,” the reaper said, narrowing her eyes at Hui.
“Elder Sister! Do you distrust me so much?” Hui cried, continuing to prostrate on the ground at her feet.
“Well? Should I distrust you?” she asked.
Hui looked up at her. He frowned, just slightly. “Who would ever say yes?”
She stepped on his back. Hui stiffened. The both of them made eye contact.
“Elder Sister, why…?” he asked, confused.
“I don’t know. You just suddenly seemed very easy to step on,” the reaper said.
“I’m… I’m not into this,” Hui said.
“Into it…?” the reaper asked, confused.
Hui swallowed. Oh no! Did I awaken something in Elder Sister without meaning to? Something that even Elder Sister doesn’t understand? No, no, no! Let’s put that something right back to sleep! I’m happy with Elder Sister as she is! This is too far, a step too far. Literally!
“Er, can you… remove your foot…?” Hui asked.
“Huh? Yeah,” the reaper said. She stepped back, still on her back foot.
Hui climbed to his feet. No one made any eye contact, both of them very awkward.
The reaper coughed. “Zhu Diyu wants to see you.”
“Ah? Huh? Ah! Yes. Let’s go, let’s go. Go see Zhu Diyu!” Hui said, nodding vigorously. He pushed the reaper toward the door. Let’s leave this behind. Leave it all behind and forget about it!
Comments
alex ayala
Did Hui just experience... sexual harassment in the workplace? Is there an HR in the underworld? This story has got everything lol
Refined Spark
He's pretty dead set in his ways
Aune
well, now.. i ain't into this myself... but for some reason... the reaper won me over! long liv ... long Death the reaper!!!!!
mordante
If you’re a doormat all the time, you don’t get to complain if people get off on stepping on you, kek.
Robert Mullins
Reaper: I hope this doesn't awaken anything in me.
