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3. Two Monsters in a Human Town (TLHASO)
🕑 Added 2022-03-18 22:44:47 +0000 UTCThe further they emerged from the forest, the more populated the road became. The forest thinned, then vanished, replaced by rolling farmland. Pastoral farm houses sat back from the road, scattered amidst big red barns and wandering cattle. Humans drove laden oxcarts toward the village and rushed out of it on shiny black carriages. They tossed smiles and greetings toward Kino and Gale, too busy with their work to pay the boys any mind.
Kino hunched over, eyes darting around, grasping his cap tight over his head. He stiffened any time a human met his eyes and quickly looked away. Eventually, he ducked his head and watched the ground, jittering.
Gale snorted and elbowed him. “Loosen up. You’re drawing attention to yourself.”
“It’s… my first time being around so many humans,” Kino muttered.
“Stand up straight and look them in the eye! You’re a human too,” Gale declared.
Kino frowned at him. “I’m not.”
“If you tell yourself you are, you might as well be. No one can tell you aren’t,” Gale said.
“But… I don’t smell human. It’s so obvious! If anyone smells me…” Kino protested. He sniffed his arm, then ducked away from a passing human.
Gale waved his hand. “Humans can’t smell to save their lives. They won’t be able to tell.”
“Really?” Kino asked, startled.
“Trust me. I used to be a human,” Gale said confidently. Even if anyone notices you smell like ermine—which I doubt they would—they’d just think you had a pet.
“Oh!” Kino stood up, straightening his back. He lowered his hands from his cap and rolled his shoulders back. An old lady smiled smiled at him. He flinched, but managed to smile back. She chuckled and gave him a little wave.
“Humans… are actually kind of nice, aren’t they?” Kino said.
“Eh, some of them. Same as beastfolk, I figure,” Gale said, shrugging.
Kino nodded. Loosening up, he began to bound along again, bouncing from step to step. Gale half-ran to keep up with the taller boy’s stride.
“I want to buy some candy, candy made from sugar,” Kino sang to himself.
“Alright, alright. If we find some, we can buy some,” Gale replied.
“Sugar candy, sugar candy. Hey, do you really eat pure sugar?” Kino asked.
“All the time,” Gale said.
Kino’s eyes widened, sparkling with wonder. Gale watched as a whole new world opened up before him. “Wow,” Kino breathed.
Ahead of them, the road widened. Idyllic houses lined either side of the road. A general store and a tavern welcomed visitors, and a church stood at the end of the main street. Townsfolk grouped around a wooden cart offering rare goods from across the lands.
“A small town,” Gale sighed, relaxing. Nothing going on, nothing to worry about or flee from. A quiet, small town, the kind of place he’d drive through on his way to somewhere else. So many times, he’d wondered if he could take a break, stop and relax for a day. And now I can. No one’s pestering me. There’s no deadline on my task. I can complete it whenever I like.
I will complete it. But a few minutes won’t hurt.
“Candy, candy, candy,” Kino hummed.
“I’m starting to have second thoughts about you and candy,” Gale admitted, casting a look at Kino from the corner of his eyes.
“Why? It’s something humans eat all the time,” Kino replied innocently.
“Hmm. Anyways, we probably won’t find any in a tiny town like this,” Gale said.
Kino pouted, but only for a moment. A second later, he stood on his tiptoes, peering around, his arms tucked up against his body.
He looks exactly like a ferret in the up-periscope stance, Gale thought, chuckling to himself. He grabbed Kino’s arm and pulled him down. “What are you looking for?”
“A guild hall,” Kino said.
“Are you level ten?” Gale asked, startled.
Kino shook his head. “But I want to know. For once I hit level ten.”
“Fair enough. But… a village this small… might not have one,” Gale said.
Blinking at Gale, Kino frowned. Frustrated, he asked, “What are small villages good for, then?”
Laughing, Gale slapped Kino on the shoulder. “Think of it as training. It’s better to practice passing as human in a small village than a big city, right?”
“Makes sense,” Kino agreed, nodding.
“And since we’re training… no candy,” Gale declared.
“Eh?” Kino stared at him, giving him puppy eyes. In his human-form, it was much less effective.
Gale shook his head. “Let’s find that hero first.”
“Hero…” Kino’s eyes hardened. He furrowed his brows.
“You can hang back, if you want,” Gale offered. I’m the only one who has to talk to the heroes for this. There’s no need for Kino to take that risk.
Kino shook his head. “It’s part of training. I have to be able to face heroes, too.”
Gale nodded. “Well said.”
As they wound through town, the streets emptied. Proud buildings became slumped, as if shoved sideways by a force or great wind. Fine facades became pockmarked, scarred with deep pits and long slashes as though they’d been through a battle. Some laid hollow, roofs caved in, sunlight filtering through empty windows. Others slithered with life. People creeped and snuck around inside, darting past windows and flitting through doors, as if afraid to be seen. Outside, rough men and women, themselves scarred and bristling with weapons, eyed them up.
Gale ducked his head, hiding his eyes with the brim of his hat. Kino tugged at his cap, eyes darting around the street. One of the men stepped toward them, a smirk on his face, but stepped back when Gale reached for his bow.
This town… it’s seen battle. That fortress on my map isn’t for show.
“Misters, spare a coin for an orphan like me?”
An innocent, doe-eyed boy approached them. Even younger than them, not yet ten, he held his hands out hopefully.
Kino flinched away. He tugged at his cap again, hands shaking, and cast his eyes aside.
Ducking his head even deeper, Gale snorted. “We could use some coin too, kid. Got none to spare.”
The kid scowled and spat, all innocence gone. “Fuck off, then. If you ain’t Legendary Heroes come to save the world, get out of our town. We don’t need any more shitty half-assed adventurers hanging around.”
“I’ll take it on advisory,” Gale said dryly. Nudging Kino ahead of him, he walked on.
“If you’re gonna eat our food, at least have the good graces to die at the fortress! Don’t you dare go join the Demon King, too!” the kid shouted after them.
They walked into the town. Glancing over his shoulder, Kino shook himself thoroughly. “That…”
“All cities have their scummy bits. I guess even a small town can get filthy, too,” Gale said, shaking his head.
These people… there’s the nice part of town, sure, but scratch the surface, and it’s not all peachy keen. That fortress on my map… I can’t leave it be. Whether I recruit the hero or not, I’ll have to do something about that.
“After all, I am a Legendary Hero,” he muttered under his breath.
“Huh?” Kino asked.
“Nothing.” Gale waved his hand dismissively. Checking his map, he guided Kino through the skeezy part of town and out the other side.
Farmland stretched beyond the village, wandering on and on. Fewer people wandered the road as the sun climbed higher. Green crops reached to the sky, full of plump vegetables. Corn stalks stood, proud sentinels, to their left, while low wheat swayed on the wind to their right.
Kino glanced at the plants. Once, twice, he flicked his ears forward, cap shifting forward on his head. He perched up on his toes, then forcibly settled back on his heels, visibly holding himself back.
Gale smiled. “If you want to run through the crops… I don’t see anyone around to stop us.”
Instantly, Kino leaped off the path and raced through the wheat. A furry ermine head popped out of the swaying wheatgrass, and he bounded back, furry body undulating through the greenery. As he reached the road, he transformed back into a human and ran to Gale’s side.
“Having fun?” Gale asked.
Kino nodded enthusiastically.
Gale snorted. He plucked a fat caterpillar off Kino’s bangs and yanked his cap down a little lower, to hide the base of his ears. “Just be careful there’s no humans around.”
Kino stared at the caterpillar. “Are you eating that?”
“Uh… no?” Gale said.
Kino snatched the caterpillar and gobbled it down. He licked his lips, cleaning a bit of blood off the corner of his mouth.
Gale frowned. “Er… your lip…”
“I saw a fat rat, so I had to eat it. Oh… did you want a rat? I only saw one,” Kino said. He tipped his head, bending to look up at Gale.
“I’m fine,” Gale said firmly.
“I didn’t see any songbirds…” Kino said. His eyes turned dreamy, and he licked his lips.
Gale cleared his throat. I forgot, but ermines are consummate carnivores. And very successful ones at that! “Kino, I don’t know if I need to say this, and please don’t take it the wrong way…”
“Yes?” Kino asked, tipping his head.
“Please don’t eat any chickens. They belong to people, and humans will get upset if you eat them,” Gale said firmly.
“What are chickens?” Kino asked.
“White or brown birds, the males have these green tail feathers, uh, walk around, big claws, kind of chubby, can’t really fly…”
“Chubby, plump, delicious birds that can’t fly?” Kino’s eyes sparkled. A little bit of drool ran down from his mouth.
Gale thwacked him on the back of the head. “Don’t eat them!”
“I won’t, I won’t,” Kino grumbled, rubbing his head.
Pain bit into Gale’s stomach again. He furrowed his brows and waited for it to pass.
Concerned, Kino blinked at him. “You did it again. Something’s hurting you.”
“It’s nothing. Nothing to worry about,” Gale insisted. I still have plenty of blood. Another day’s worth, when it comes to this body. Tomorrow is another matter, but I have the potions. Gold, too, so I can buy more potions. I probably have enough supplies to last for two or three days. That’s enough to find a job and buy more potions.
Kino bobbed his head, still concerned, but quiet.
Gale checked his map again. He peered up ahead. Far off on the left, a lone farmhouse stood atop a hill. Pens for goats and chickens sat near the house, while green fields of crops stretched in all directions.
“That’s where the hero is,” Gale said, uncertainly.
“In a farmhouse? Why?” Kino asked.
Gale bit his lip. Squinting, he furrowed his brows. “Er… maybe the hero… helped an old farmer find… his goats, or something?”
“Oh, okay,” Kino said, nodding.
“No, no, that’s not normal. I don’t think,” Gale muttered. An uncomfortable feeling welled up in his heart. I read quite a few isekai, back in my day. They weren’t all about heroes challenging their fate and facing off against the demon king. In fact… quite a lot of them… in fact, even the majority…
No, no, no. Fiction is not the same as reality. Faced with the very real threat of an actual Demon King running rampant, who would hare off and—and start a farm, or something like that? Surely none of the heroes would actually do that. Surely.
They climbed up the hill. The farmhouse loomed over them, growing larger and larger before them. Gale licked his lips, suddenly nervous.
A man stepped out of the farmhouse. He ducked and turned sideways to fit through the door. Muscles coiled over every inch of his body, from an impressive, broad chest to thick, trunk-like legs. A straw hat sat atop his head, over a simple white shirt and a pair of worn brown trousers. A wave of brown hair brushed across his forehead, touched with gray at the temples. Rubbing his hands with a rag, he stared down at them, cocking a brow. “What are you boys looking for?”
Gale checked his map, then glanced at the man, checked his map, glanced at the man again. “Er… are you the proprietor of this farm?”
“I am, yes,” the man acknowledged. “Arthur Bolden, at your service.”
“And you’re a Legendary Heroes?” Gale asked.
Arthur nodded once. He slung the rag over his shoulder. The motion attracted Gale’s eye, especially the red stain on the center of the rag. The red, bloodlike stain.
He swallowed. You can’t give up, Gale. Make do with what you have! “Excuse me, sir, but I was sent on a mission from the Goddess. I’m meant to gather the Legendary Heroes.”
“You. An elf, sent by the Goddess,” Arthur scoffed.
“I’m a Legendary Hero, I just… ran into some unfortunate circumstances along the way,” Gale explained.
Kino’s eyes widened. He grabbed Gale’s sleeve and hissed, “He knows! We need to go!”
Arthur snorted, amused. “Know that you’re monsters? I do, beastfolk. But I’m not going to kill a few boys who wandered out of the forest, unless you give me a reason to. As long as you don’t cause trouble, you’re free to do what you like.”
Kino bristled. He hunkered behind Gale, pulling his sleeve. “Go, we have to go!”
Gale squared his shoulders and drew himself to his full height. He barely reached Arthur’s ribcage. “Sir. I cannot turn back until I fulfil my holy duty—”
“No.”
“Sir—”
“A child in a Dark Mage class shouldn’t talk to me about holy duties,” Arthur scoffed.
Gale frowned. “I can’t go back without—”
Arthur chuckled. “You can. Go on.”
Kino pulled at Gale with all his might. Gale staggered back, unable to resist Kino’s greater strength and weight. Kino hauled, grabbing Gale around the waist, and inched him backward. “We… have… to… go!”
“I’ll be back,” Gale declared, narrowing his eyes. He dug in his heels, fighting against Kino.
Arthur snorted again. “Not if you know what’s good for you.” He flexed his muscles, and his shirt rippled. His eyes glinted with a single ray of murderous light. For a moment, instead of an old farmer, an all-powerful hero stood before them in all his glory.
“Go, go!” All at once, Kino transformed. He snatched up Gale and threw him on his back, then bounded away down the road at top speed. Gale clung on for dear life, digging his hands into the fur. He glared over his shoulder at Arthur.
Arthur shook his head. As Kino ran away, Gale faintly heard him say, “You don’t understand.”
“Don’t understand what? How to run a farm?” Gale grumbled under his breath.
Turning away, Arthur stepped back into the house, ignoring Gale.
--
Some distance away, Kino drew to a halt in a stand of trees, panting. He coiled in on himself, staring back toward the farmhouse, then shuddered.
Gale hopped off and sighed. “What are you scared for? He said he wasn’t going to hurt us.”
“He’s a hero! He could kill us with his pinky finger!”
“I doubt it. Come on. He’s probably been a farmer since he got here. I bet he doesn’t even know how to hold a sword,” Gale replied.
Kino frowned at Gale. “Do you?”
“No, but that’s beside the point. The Goddess said to gather the Legendary Heroes, and… I’m starting to have a bad feeling about what the Legendary Heroes have been up to.” Gale rubbed his forehead, already tired.
“What do you mean?” Kino tilted his head.
“Look, in my world… do you know what a book is?” Gale asked.
“Of course I do. They’re good for wiping,” Kino replied.
Gale blinked. “Th… what?”
“After you go. Humans have messy butts, so you need to wipe, so you need leaves or paper, but it’s hard to find paper, so…”
Gale waved his hands, cutting off the explanation. “I get it, I get it. Alright, forget about books. In my world, we have stories. Stories about going to other worlds. In some of them, heroes fight the villains, defeat the Demon King, and restore peace, but in some… the heroes kind of… do whatever they want.”
Kino tilted his head. “Like farm?”
“Like farm, yeah. Or start a bathhouse, or run a café, or even just… wander around aimlessly. I’m starting to wonder if the Legendary Heroes have all decided to, well, do their own thing, so to speak,” Gale said.
“Ignore the demon king and not go adventuring, yeah?” Kino replied.
“Mhm, that,” Gale said.
Kino shook his head aggressively. “It can’t be. Legendary Heroes are rare, super rare! Only one or two have appeared in the last hundred years, and they’re both in the top ten strongest adventurers! A single Legendary Hero can shake the entire adventuring guild. If they were all over the place, the world would be—be… crazy!”
Only one or two? Then it’s even more important that I recruit Arthur. Either Heroes aren’t coming over, or they aren’t acting like heroes, and one way or another, I need Arthur to join the heroing side of things! Gale set his jaw. He stared back up the hill toward the farm, resolute.
“We can’t! He knows we’re monsters!” Kino protested.
“He said he isn’t going to hurt us!” Gale replied.
“It doesn’t matter what humans say. They’re all liars. If they say they won’t hurt you, it’s only so they can trick you later. That’s what my village elders always said!” Kino said, shaking his head.
Gale furrowed his brows. “And you planned on becoming an adventurer?”
“Then I’ll be an adventurer, not a monster,” Kino declared proudly.
Gale smiled, shaking his head. “I hope that’s true.”
Kino tilted his head. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“No, no. Don’t worry about it.” Gale narrowed his eyes at the farmhouse again. I won’t let you escape, Arthur.
Gale drew a deep breath. “He thinks we don’t understand farming.”
“Eh?” Kino asked.
Resolute, Gale crossed his arms. “He said it himself. ‘You don’t understand.’ Don’t understand farming? I’ll show him. Anyone can run a farm. A hero like him would be better off doing a hero’s work, not farming!”
“Gale, you can’t,” Kino protested. He swooshed in front of Gale, blocking the way with his long, slinky body.
Gale patted Kino’s head. He hesitated, then patted him some more, ruffling his soft fur. Flexible, soft ears twitched under his fingers. Entranced, he continued to pat Kino, leaning his face up against the beastfolk’s soft fur. So soft… so nice…
“G…gale?” Kino asked.
“Ah! S…sorry. We don’t have beastfolk where I’m from.” He pulled away and brushed himself down, then glanced at Kino. “Has anyone ever told you your fur is very soft?”
Kino bobbed his head, smiling proudly. “The softest. Even the humans who caught me said that my fur was very nice. They wanted to sell it. My fur! Can you imagine, me, furless?” He shuddered, hugging his paws around himself.
Gale opened his mouth, then shut it. You know what? I’ll let him have that one. He shook his head. “If Legendary Heroes are rare, isn’t that all the more reason we can’t let Arthur go?”
Kino glanced up the hill, then back at Gale, then back up the hill. He lowered his ears and tucked his tail, trembling subtly. “But he’s big. And strong. He can kill us with a slap!”
Gale pushed past him. “You don’t have to go. This is my task. My job. I won’t force you to put yourself in danger.”
So saying, he strode up the hill.
Kino stared after him. He started after Gale, then flinched back. Took a step, then hesitated. He bit his lip, kneading the dirt with his paws. Gale grew smaller and smaller, ascending the hill. Not once did he look back. Left behind in the shadow, Kino could only watch as he got further away. He jittered in place, dancing back and forth. His paws marked a staccato drum beat against the ground. “Humans… but Gale, but humans, but…”
He grit his teeth. “I won’t let you leave me behind!”
Narrowing his eyes, Kino lunged into the sunlight. As he leaped over the barrier between the shadow and the light, his form shifted. Paws turned to hands and feet, his muzzle to a face, his fur to skin. He landed on all fours and scrabbled upright, stuffing his ears into his hat, his tail into his pants. The vest jumped around him as he ran, arms pumping, legs pounding into the hardpacked dirt. “Gaaaale! Wait for me!”
Halfway up the hill, Gale turned at last. He beamed down at Kino and gestured him along. “Hurry up!”
