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41. Cheap Tactics
🕑 Added 2021-08-10 20:01:00 +0000 UTCIkara hefted a cinderblock at the bat. It knocked off the monster’s head. Stunned, it staggered to the side.
Before it could recover, Rowan ran over, grabbed a hunk of wall, and threw it. It smashed into the bat’s wing. Something cracked, and the bat screeched, angry. It charged at them, limping for the window at full speed.
Rowan snatched up his rake and met the bat’s charge head-on. The weight of the blow smacked into his shoulder, metal head singing from the hit, but the rake held. The bat fell back, angry but impotent. Ikara hefted a brick after it. The bat scurried back, but too slow, and it struck a glancing blow off the bat’s ribcage.
Squealing in anger and frustration, the bat leaped up again. Blood streamed down its flanks. It charged the window again, leaping up, half-flying on one wing, only to slam into Rowan’s rake again. Flopping backward, the bat fell clumsily to the ground. It rocked back and forth, flailing its ungainly limbs.
Rowan leaned out the window and pinned the bat to the ground with the back of the rake. “Ikara! Now!”
Ikara ran back to the hole in the wall and gathered a pair of bricks. Racing back to the window, she pelted them down on the bat.
It screamed and fought, struggling to escape Rowan’s rake. He leaned all his weight on it, but at the angle he stood at, the rake pushed the bat away as much as pinned it. Sensing its impending escape, the bat wriggled harder than ever.
Ikara smashed another stone at its head. The bat paused again, stunned. Rowan flipped the rake over deftly and clawed it closer to the window, then pinned it again, this time with the tines of the rake.
“Good going, Gardener-boy,” Ikara chuckled. She huffed and slapped a hunk of cinderblock on the counter, then took a deep breath and lifted it with all her might.
The bat’s eyes widened. It struggled harder than ever before, thrashing against Rowan’s rake. He grabbed the rake harder and wrestled the bat into place, refusing to let it go.
Ikara threw the stone. It didn’t fly very far, but then, it didn’t need to. It crashed down on the bat’s head, and the bat went still.
“Yes!” Ikara pumped her fist. She raised her hands for a high-five.
Rowan high-fived her back, retracting the rake. “And not even a scratch on us!”
Ikara laughed. “If only we could get all the monsters like that.”
Rowan paused. He looked at Ikara. “I mean…”
She raised her eyebrows. “Are you offering?”
“I was the captain of the soccer team. I’ve got pretty good jukes. If I go out there, I should be able to kite over one or two, and then I can pin it with the rake while you hit it with the rocks.”
Ikara nodded slowly. “I like it, I like it. Let’s get a good pile of rocks over by the window first, then give it a try.”
Rowan peered out the window down at the arena. A few of the monsters had taken notice of their fight with the bat, but none ran over. Most were low-level monsters, bugs and large pests. A huge rat sat in the nearby stands, and a big beetle fluttered its wings nearby.
I can reach those two without procing any of the other monsters, and almost certainly kite them back to the window. The beetle… those wings could be a problem. With the bat, I got a lucky throw and broke a wing early, so it couldn’t fly away. Plus, it might be able to fit through the window. The rat… rats are slow, they can’t fly, and it looks fat. It probably couldn’t fit through if it wanted to.
“Rowan!” Ikara called, dragging a chunk of cinderblock over.
“Coming.”
Between the two of them, they rapidly piled up a small mountain of cinderblock and other heavy objects by the window. Rowan hefted a last cinderblock onto the pile and huffed out, slapping the dust off his hands. He nodded to himself. “I think that’s enough.”
“Rowan! Come help!” Ikara’s voice echoed from the bathroom.
Rowan frowned. “Er, I don’t think I can help much…”
A dramatic sigh wobbled through the hole. “Get your mind out of the gutter and get in here. I need help lifting.”
Poking his head in the bathroom, Rowan glanced left and right. “Ikara.”
“Over here, back here.”
Rowan followed the sound of her voice to one of the back booths. Ikara knelt, slowly wiggling a disgusting toilet forward.
“If you can’t lift it, how are you going to throw it?” Rowan asked.
Ikara stood and wiped her hands on the floor. “We’ll put it up on the countertop and push it through the window.”
“Will it fit through the window?”
Ikara twisted her lips. She kicked it. The toilet toppled over and crashed into two pieces against the concrete floor. “Now it will.”
Rowan shook his head. He bent his knees and wedged his hands under the upper half. “Let’s get it over to the window.”
Opposite him, Ikara knelt. Together, they stood, lifting the half toilet between them. Sludgy brown water sloshed onto the floor, exuding a thick, fetid scent. Rowan gagged. “Fuck, that’s nasty.”
Ikara bent her head to her chest and nudged her shirt up over her nose. “C’mon, let’s get it out there.”
They slogged it over to the countertop. Rowan lifted, Ikara pushed, and they slid it into place by the window.
Rowan looked at it, then at the window. He sighed. “I’m definitely going to get coated in gross, aren’t I.”
“Take one for the team!” Ikara encouraged him with a grin and a thumbs-up.
“Kaidu’s shower is the one who’s really taking one for the team,” Rowan muttered.
He shrugged, then turned to the window. He set the rake by the window, within easy reach. Jogging in place, he quickly stretched his legs and rolled out his shoulders. “Have something ready to throw. I’ll be coming in hot.”
“Got it, boss.”
Rowan bent down and tossed a small hunk of cinderblock directly upward. When nothing screamed or dropped down on him, he took a deep breath and climbed over the counter and through the window.
All around the arena, monsters turned toward him.
