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Chapter 58 - A Budding Scientist in a Fantasy World
🕑 Added 2022-01-29 02:36:18 +0000 UTCPre Chapter note – there is an ERROR in chapter 56. Alice received a notification that she went from level 19 to level 23 in Student of Kinetic Magic after the group finishes hunting down vinebears. This is incorrect – she was already level 23 in chapter 49. Alice started chapter 56 at level 23, and should have become level 25 at the end of the battle. This also puts her at the maximum level for Student of Kinetic Magic, meaning it’s time to evolve her Kinetic Magic Student Class. My apologies for the confusion. I gave the character sheets another look to make sure nothing else is wrong, and I think that was the only error. I didn’t see any others, but maybe I’m blind. If I find anything else in future chapters, I will leave an author’s note about the correction.
After the group returned to Cyra, the group quickly settled accounts. Illa simply said that the payment for the expedition would be deferred for those who were selling at least one material, and would be settled the following Monday after the city lord’s manor had time to sell and record everything. Nobody objected to this, since Illa was known for being fair. Shortly after, the group dispersed. Some remained chatting after the fact, but Alice decided to spend the rest of the day in her inn room. Even if the danger hadn’t been terribly high this time, spending hours walking through the wilderness being on guard for Monster attacks and knowing a fight would come soon had been more than slightly mentally taxing. Since Alice had the rest of the day off from working on the docks, she figured a break for the afternoon was in order.
She managed to convince the [Innkeeper] to exchange her stored vinebear meat for two days of free meals. Alice grinned slightly, since that saved her a silver sun or two. Predictably but sadly, the [Innkeeper] had no use for Alice’s Vinebear bones, so he was unwilling to buy them. Alice just left them laying around in her {Sample Storage}. Maybe they would come in useful someday. Or maybe they would lay there forgotten, for several months or years, until someday she started cleaning out her {Sample Storage}. At that time, she would probably wonder what the heck the bones were and why they were in her storage Perk… if she hadn’t gotten a fully photographic memory or something by then. Her memory was already leaps and bounds above what it had been on Earth, and Alice had no reason to believe it wouldn’t continue improving.
After dinner and a few hours spent relaxing by the fireplace and listening to other Patrons talk, Alice returned to her room. It was time to pick her new Perk, and deal with her class Upgrade.
Solidified Objects
Requirements: Student of Kinetic Magic level 25 or higher
Objects which you interact with via Kinetic mana become harder and more solid for a brief period of time during and after your contact with them. The amount of time each object retains these benefits is based off of the amount of mana used during interaction.
Improved Object Control (Sensory Enhancement)
Requirements: Student of Kinetic Magic level 25 or higher, {Object Control} Perk, Magic 100 or greater
Improves the {Object Control} Perk, expanding the range and detail at which you are able to sense objects in motion around you. You also gain improved speed at creating and manipulating mana tendrils.
Short Range Mana Efficiency
Requirements: Student of Kinetic Magic level 25 or higher, Perception 100 or greater
You gain the ability to drastically reduce broken mana production whenever using Kinetic magic to manipulate objects close to your body. The closer it is, the greater the reduction in broken mana production.
Greater Folds of Magic
Requirements: Student of Kinetic Magic level 25 or higher, {Folds of Magic}, {Divided Attention 5 or Greater}
Your ability to multitask is backed by both Perks and Skills, and grows dramatically. You gain the ability to manipulate an extra Tendril of Magic, along with the mental capacity to pay attention to your improved magical capacity.
Alice laid on her bed in the inn, looking over her Perk choices. She first knocked out {Short Range Mana Efficiency} – she only lost somewhere between five and ten percent of her mana as Broken mana when she used Kinetic Magic. Even if Alice still didn’t have a good grasp on purifying broken mana, because things kept coming up, the amount of broken mana she produced was quite minimal and had little effect on her.
{Solidified Objects} was also quickly dropped for being too situational. Most of the time, if Alice needed a harder material when she was using Kinetic Magic, it meant she should grab a harder material from her surroundings. Although Alice could see situations where this Perk might be useful, she just didn’t think it was worth a level 25 Perk slot. Maybe someone else would find more use in it? Either way, it wasn’t that useful for her.
That left {Greater Folds of Magic} and {Improved Object Control}. Both of which were tempting.
{Folds of Magic} had gone some way towards improving Alice’s multitasking ability. However, even with the additional bonus from {Divided Attention} and {Folds of Magic} overlapping, it had never really reached the point where Alice could manipulate three mana tendrils as the same time. Sure, she was pretty close, and she would definitely reach that point whenever {Divided Attention} finally got another few levels behind it. Still, Alice often felt that this was a wasted Perk slot. Investing more heavily into it would… kind of justify that expense. However, at the same time, Alice was afraid of the sunk cost fallacy. She also had access to two tendrils now, instead of one, which already meant that it was much easier for her to cope with multitasking than it had been. Besides, she already had a clear path to getting a third Tendril going, and it probably wouldn’t take more than a month or two of practice anyway.
Therefore, after some thinking, and a bit of regret, Alice set the Perk aside. While it was actually still somewhat useful, Alice felt that the final Perk was better.
Alice had never once doubted the usefulness of {Object Control}. For a level 5 Perk, it did more work than many of her level 20 Perks by letting her sense movement in her surroundings. Even if it wasn’t particularly precise or efficient, compared to the usual level 5 Perks, it was incredibly powerful, and supplemented {Projectile Awareness} and {Dodge} very nicely. Enhancing her ability to ‘see’ in 360 degrees also would eliminate one of the greatest weaknesses of Mages, which was the fact that anytime humans fought with a Mage they would immediately try to kill the Mages in a surprise attack. Monsters were about as smart as the average potato, but even they had a tendency to focus on killing and eating mages over other people if given the choice – probably because Mages had more mana inside of their bodies. Even though Alice didn’t have many plans for picking fights when she could avoid it, improving her odds of not getting murdered in a surprise attack still seemed like a fabulous idea. Allira had already rooted out most of the Sigmusi infiltration into the South, but it never hurt to be cautious. Especially since Alice would be travelling north soon, away from the protection of the [Guards] inside town.
After a few more minutes of thinking just to make sure she couldn’t find any reasons to second guess her decision, Alice grabbed {Improved Object Control}.
After picking the Perk, Alice watched the rainbow mana, waiting to see what changes happened.
The rainbow mana didn’t disappoint her. It quickly flooded towards her. Even though she was used to seeing mana swirl towards her whenever she gained Attributes or Perks, now that she could see the rainbow mana, she was also able to observe what happened inside her body. After the rainbow mana passed through her skin, it seemed to wander around for a while, as if feeling out all of the mana already there. Then, it rushed towards her head. Alice couldn’t see her own skull, but based on direction and angle, Alice suspected the mana was making its way towards her brain.
She didn’t have the ability to observe what happened after that, sadly. However, she quietly noted the few moments where the mana had seemed to be ‘feeling out’ what was already present.
After that, she did her best to feel out the changes from the new Perk. She picked up a pen and closed her eyes, before dropping it.
Even before upgrading her perk, she would have at least been able to tell that something was moving relatively close to her and falling towards the floor. When an object was heading towards her, as a result of Illa’s training, she could usually at least stop it from hitting her half of the time. However, it was still difficult and unreliable. She often slightly misjudged the location of the object, and she never knew quite how much force the object had, so sometimes she would apply too much or too little force to stopping the object. It worked sometimes, but it was crude and imprecise.
This was no longer a problem. Even with her eyes closed, Alice could tell the EXACT location of the falling pen. She could also get a sense of the object’s Mass and speed. Although it was nothing as precise as ‘XX number of grams 40 centimeters in front of you,’ she could at least tell that it was a fairly light object falling towards the floor at a somewhat fast pace, and she had an instinctual feel for where the object was.
This gave her an idea. Without opening her eyes, Alice tried to use a mana tendril to stop the object from falling.
Unlike before, Alice managed to perfectly catch the object. Rather than deflecting the object too hard, wasting mana, or pushing too softly against the object, slowing it down without stopping it, Alice managed to almost perfectly halt the object in midair.
And then her ability to sense the location of the object vanished, since it was no longer moving. However, Alice kept applying the same amount of mana to the pen. When she opened her eyes, directly in front of her was a floating pen.
She grinned. Precisely stopping an object she couldn’t see without wasting even a fraction of a Marium of mana – this was exactly what she was hoping for.
She could finally catch those damn beans Illa was fond of lobbing at her during training. And, more importantly, she could probably do the same with an arrow. As long as she wasn’t sleeping, she should now be incredibly hard to ambush. Unless the other party had Perks to make it harder to observe their arrows or something, but hey – it was certainly better to have some protection than none. As of now, people would need specific Perks to successfully ambush her, and without them they would certainly fail. That was progress.
Grinning a little, she turned her attention back towards her Status Screen.
Next to [Student of Kinetic Magic], there was the word MAX written in all capital letters.
Alice had heard of class evolutions before, but this would be the first time she would be able to see one in person.
Her grin grew wider as she pressed the little blinking ‘MAX’ icon on her Status Screen.
The class [Student of Kinetic Magic] disappeared from her status screen, and for a brief moment, the Classes section of her Status Screen seemed to melt into a puddle of glitch signs. Then, the status screen closed itself, and a new popup screen appeared in front of her.
Class Evolution: Student of Kinetic magic
Kinetic mage: The most traditional advancement for Students of Kinetic Magic. Kinetic Mages have a wide variety of Perk options available, and can learn almost anything. Be it Combat, Research, or Enchanting, this Class trades away the power and precision other Class Evolutions might offer for a wide and versatile selection of Perks.
Unlocked as a result of: Having the Student of Kinetic magic class at level 25
Increases Effect of [Magic] Attribute by 15%. Increases effect of [Perception] Attribute by 5%. Your Kinetic Magic seed will have its mana conversion efficiency improved by 10%. You will gain a moderate boost to your instinctive ability to use Kinetic magic, improving the speed and effectiveness with which you wield Kinetic magic.
Alice didn’t think particularly carefully about this option. It was neither good nor bad. It was a pretty solid backup option if nothing else caught her eye, but it also probably wouldn’t be her first choice.
Kinetic Catapult: trading away many of the defensive options of a traditional Kinetic Mage, the Kinetic Catapult is the option traditionally chosen by many members of armies across the world. They excel in picking up heavy objects with kinetic magic and then hurling it at targets in the distance repeatedly, as well as tearing down fortified structures and working with other Kinetic Catapults. Recommended for those who pursue long range firepower and teamwork with other Kinetic Mages of all varieties. Especially useful when sieging an enemy fortification, or whenever extremely long range attacks are useful. Falls somewhat short when doing other things, compared to other class options.
Unlocked as a result of: Experience or take part in long-distance bombardment that was the result of multiple mages using Kinetic magic together. Have [Student of Kinetic Magic] at level 25
Increases the Effect of the [Magic] Attribute by 10%. [Endurance] Attribute will now have a slight effect on the [Magic] Attribute, boosting your mana reserves by a moderate amount. When attempting to work together with other [Kinetic Cannoneers], you will gain improved ability to balance heavy objects together. Your [Perception] Attribute will have its effect slightly altered, boosting your ability to see things far in the distance while losing some of the boosts [Perception] normally gives to your other senses (especially smell and hearing).
Huh. Well that explains a bit about how these armies coordinate their mages. I always figured there was probably some sort of Perk [Generals] or some other military leader got that helped Mages figure out how to lift up rocks and throw them together. I guess this Class does the same thing, and a lot more besides that.
Honestly though, it’s not really for me. If anything, trading away my close combat ability is the last thing I want to. Right now, my Kinetic Magic serves as my best line of defense if someone wants to hurt me. This class trades that important function away for abilities I don’t really need. I can certainly see why the class exists, but it’s almost entirely useless for me.
I am a little surprised by the fact that Allira’s illusion allowed me to qualify for this class, though. Come to think of it, I wonder if Allira’s {Sigmusi (Language Proficiency)} ever increased as a result of using her own ability? I don’t know whether Immortal Allira’s illusion is based on her memory and understanding of what happened, or on the System’s understanding of the events that happened back then, or something else entirely. I would be pretty interested in finding out, if I ever get the chance to ask.
Alice shook her head, turning her thoughts away from Allira’s Perks and abilities and back towards her class advancement.
Kinetic Brawler: A class for those who prefer getting up front and personal during fights, and then supplementing their physical abilities with Kinetic Magic. The Kinetic Brawler has a wide variety of Perks, many of which are similar to those in the [Kinetic Mage] class. However, where a traditional Kinetic Mage has a great deal of versatility, being able to gain Perks suitable for most situations, [Kinetic Brawlers] tend to have significantly stronger Perks. However, most of them only work within a very certain distance. Strongly recommended to be paired with some sort of melee-oriented class, such as [Swordsman] or [Soldier].
Unlocked by: [Student of Kinetic Magic] at level 25. Any melee weapon related skill at 15 or higher. Kill at least 10 monsters or humans with a melee weapon while having used Kinetic Magic during the fight.
+5% Effect of [Strength], [Endurance], [Dexterity], [Magic], and [Perception]. All combat related classes gain 10% more experience points. Once per day, you may activate {Adrenaline}, which will increase your [Perception], [Dexterity], and [Strength] by 40% for 10 seconds. {Adrenaline} will also be automatically activated if you suffer serious injuries, if you have not already used {Adrenaline} for the day.
How in the world did I ever qualify for this class? What the heck?
Alice was more than slightly baffled, before she thought back to the lonely months she had spent surviving on her own. During that time, she had, indeed, used a Spear to kill several spidercrabs. She had usually used Kinetic magic to hold the spidercrabs down and keep them from biting her before finishing them off with a few spear stabs.
She also had {Spearmanship} at level 19. It hadn’t really levelled up much recently, since Alice didn’t really need to use a spear anymore. However, amusingly enough, it meant that she, just barely, met the requirements for this class advancement.
Alice immediately dismissed the class option. She felt that this class advancement suited her the least of all of them. To level it up, she would need to do exactly what she was trying to avoid – fight people in close combat with weapons.
Kinetic Manabinder: A class for those who prefer to study the enchantments and mana involved in Kinetic Magic. This class trades away some of the more combat – oriented Perks a traditional Kinetic Mage has to offer, and in exchange, gains several tools for improving enchantments and furthering the pursuit of scholarly understanding. Even if a [Kinetic Manabinder] may not be the same terror on the battlefield a Kinetic Brawler or Kinetic Mage might be, they will be able to create far better enchanted tools and have a much deeper understanding of Kinetic Magic compared to a combat-focused Kinetic Magic class.
Unlocked By: [Student of Kinetic Magic] at level 25. Have an Achievement related to either Enchanting or Studying Mana which is at least Rarity 7. Have a class related to [Enchanting]. Have a desire to explore academic topics unrelated to combat but related to mana.
+10% Effect of [Intelligence], [Magic], and [Perception]. All [Enchanting] related classes and skills gain 25% more Experience Points. All Classes and Skills related to Research and Magic gain 10% more Experience points. The [Perception] Attribute will now begin to apply a small bonus to your ability to use mana efficiently. This will boost your ability to manipulate mana inside of your body and push it out of your body quickly and effectively, speeding up the speed you can create Mana Tendrils, reducing Broken mana production, and increasing the precision with which you can manipulate mana for enchanting purposes.
Alice grinned, looking at her final, and by far most suitable option for her class evolution. There was no real contest between this one and the other three. Although this class seemed to lean more heavily towards Enchanting instead of research, Alice already had two classes devoted to research. Having this class be more focused on Enchanting wasn’t really a bad thing. And this class fit her intentions for the future pretty well.
After picking the class, Alice grinned as she watched the rainbow mana in her surroundings surge towards her again. She opened her Status Screen again as, for the first time, Alice witnessed a class evolution in progress.
Name: Alice Verianna
Age: 16
Strength: 103 (112%)
Perception: 119 -> 120 (155%)
Dexterity: 102 (114%)
Intelligence: 160 (128%)
Endurance: 109 (121%)
Willpower: 138 (108%)
Charisma: 126 (107%)
Magic: 123 -> 125 (117%)
Primary Classes: 6/6
Survivor: 40 -> 41
Explorer of Magic: 41 -> 42
Scholar: 24
Scientist: 22
Kinetic Manabinder: 1
(Apprentice) Enchanter: 9
Evolved Classes: 1
Student of Kinetic Magic: 23 -> 25 (MAX)
Secondary Classes: 1
Fisherwoman: 3
Perks:
Foraging (Survivor 5)
Microbe Resistance (Survivor 10)
Extremophile (Survivor 15)
Camouflaged (Survivor 20)
Sixth Sense (Survivor 25)
Enhanced Training (Survivor 30)
Sense Hostility (Survivor 35)
Moderate Tissue Regeneration (Survivor 40)
Magic Proficiency (Explorer of Magic 5)
Enhanced Regeneration (Explorer of Magic 10)
Combat Spellcaster (Explorer of Magic 15)
Improved Seed (Explorer of Magic 20)
Seeds of Magic (Explorer of Magic 25)
Three Seeds (Explorer of Magic 30)
Broken Seed (Explorer of Magic 35)
Infusion of Comprehension (Explorer of Magic 40)
Enhanced Memory (Scholar 5)
Lesser Reduced Sleep Requirement (Scholar 10)
Accelerated Thinking (Scholar level 15 (-5))
Rhetorical Flourish (Scholar level 20)
Precise mana Measurement (Scientist level 5)
Sample Collection (Scientist level 10)
Timer (Scientist level 15)
Safety Analysis (Scientist Level 20)
Object Control (Student of Kinetic Magic 5)
Above Average Mana Sight (Student of Kinetic Magic 10)
Folds of Magic (Student of Kinetic Magic 15)
Split Mind (Student of Kinetic Magic 20)
Improved Object Control (Sensory Enhancement) (Student of Kinetic Magic 25)
Enchanter's Vision (Apprentice Enchanter 5)
Skills
Academic Skills:
Basic Mathematics: 122
English (Language Proficiency): 100
Illvarian (Language Proficiency): 98 -> 99
Intermediate Mathematics: 78
Advanced Mathematics: 18
Sigmusi (Language Proficiency): 0->7
Magic Skills:
Kinetic Manipulation: 48 -> 49
Mana Control: 33 -> 34
Mana Precision: 31 -> 33
Kinetic Force: 29 -> 30
Projectile Awareness : 9
Divided Attention: 8
Basic Enchanting: 6
Crafting Skills:
Weaving: 27
Woodworking: 25
Cooking: 12
Stoneworking: 11
Physical Skills:
Spearmanship: 19
Sprinting: 18
Dodge: 18
Climbing: 9
Fishing: 9
Digging: 8
Stealth: 4
Basic Medicine: 3
Magic Seed: 3/4
(+1 Undetermined Seeds Max 10% Conversion Rat.)
Kinetic Seed (135%)
Organic Seed (10%)
Pure mana Seed (10%->50%)
Achievements:
Outworlder (Rarity: 10)
Seeker of Truth (II) (Rarity: 8)
Baptized by Broken Mana (Rarity: 6)
Survivor of Winter (Rarity: 3)
Monstrous Encounter (Rarity: 1)
Monster Slayer (II) (Rarity: 1)
Well Trained (Rarity: 4)
Murderer (Rarity: 4)
Bookworm (Rarity: 3)
Kinetic Manabinder (Rarity N/A)
At the same time, the mana inside of Alice’s body began to dance. The fractals inside of her body began to shift, swirling round and round. Rainbow mana once again probed the mana inside of her body, feeling out the structures and fractals already in place. Then, Alice saw some mana from her surroundings, especially the rainbow mana, slowly flow towards her body, before coalescing inside of her mana core. However, since she had a much better view of what was happening this time, Alice noticed that the Rainbow mana wasn’t actually fusing with her body, or any of the mana already inside of her.
Instead, it seemed to be acting more like a filter. More ordinary mana rushed in from her surroundings, before touching the rainbow mana. There, the mana seemed to change in a way Alice couldn’t quite put her finger on. The color and shape remained the same, however, instead of being ‘mana from her surroundings,’ it suddenly seemed compatible with her. Alice couldn’t put it into better words than that, because she didn’t quite understand what was happening. However, that was the distinct impression she got as she watched.
The little ball of grey-white light inside of her magic core suddenly began to grow brighter and brighter for a few moments, before it started to dim again. However, Alice could see that the Kinetic magic-colored light ball was more structured than before. Even though it was still just a lump of colored mana, there were certain lines and patterns to it that Alice could see. However, these lines and patterns didn’t seem to be linked to the entirety of the mana seed – instead, it looked more like a second, half-formed mana seed made of fractals had been added on to the original mana seed.
After a few moments, the rainbow mana dispersed. The mana, which had passed through the rainbow mana fractals and changed somehow, remained inside of her body, forming what Alice assumed to be her new class and the benefits that came with it. The rainbow mana, however, returned to the hodgepodge of rainbow mana in her surroundings, no longer interacting with her at all. With a bit of curiosity, Alice extended a mana tendril out towards the rainbow mana that had just acted as a filter moments ago. However, once again, it was now avoiding her mana.
A few moments later, the light from the ball of mana inside of her magic core settled down, and the fractals started to slowly merge with her Kinetic Magic seed. Within just a few minutes, it looked perfectly natural, as if it had been there all along.
Hmm. Interesting, thought Alice, as she observed the mana in the room settle down once more.
Author’s note:
Upon looking at Alice’s character sheet, I happened to realize that she already had a Perk for level 20 of the Kinetic Mage Class. It was, in fact, Split Mind.
While realizing something was terribly wrong, I went into a spiral of ‘oh dear, what on earth am I looking at? Why does she already have one of the Perks from my ‘Perks MC is likely to see’ list?’ Finally I realized – it was because I had the wrong number for her level in Kinetic Mage listed on her character sheet…
Sigh.
This threw me off quite a bit – I wasn’t expecting her to evolve her first Student Class for a while longer. So this chapter ended up being a fair bit more System heavy than I originally expected it to be. Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing probably depends on the reader. Either way, I did want to show how the Status Screen changed once you evolve a class, since I thought that it was at least worth pointing out. I just figured it was going to be at the end of what I expect will be the last or second to last time skip of ‘book one’ of this story, which is coming pretty soon. Meh.
I kind of wish I had a little more time to mess with the class advancement System. I already had an outline for what I wanted to do, but I kept thinking that maybe it would be nice to have a class that requires you to have the ‘baptized by mana’ Achievement. Not because Alice would have picked it – Manabinder was the pick from the very beginning. But I thought it would have been an interesting way to back up the worldbuilding around Baptized by Broken Mana. The whole idea of giving people who do a mana baptism an Achievement is to help them catch up to people who were luckier at birth, and I thought a slightly better [Kinetic Mage] class would have been a nice way to show that. Unfortunately, I was caught off guard by recording error. Such is life?
Ahem. I admit, I actually just forgot that Illa never actually showed Alice how purifying Broken Mana works. Before I took Christmas and New Year’s off, I even wrote a note to myself so that I wouldn’t forget that I still needed to do that, and found it… today. AFTER I saw the Perks for level 20 Student of Kinetic Magic, and I was like ‘wait, did I forget to do this? I suddenly realized that I somehow just… forgot to get around to that. My literal first thought on seeing that Perk was ‘Oops.’ I wish I could pretend that my thoughts were more eloquent than that. However, they weren’t. It was just… “oops.”
Since I wanted to get that out of the way before I forgot (again) Milo is now the one teaching her Broken Mana Purification. A scene I didn’t originally plan to add into this chapter, because I wanted to finish setting up for the second arc and doing the last little bits of stuff I need to do before the last time skip of this arc. Instead, mana purification.
Comments
acaswell
I really do need to work on that. I'm trying to pay more attention to it, but it keeps slipping through XD.
acaswell
Oops
Riley Sampson
Doesn't she have seeker of truth (II) now?
RuRo
"She lives in a violent world" I think that you might be overestimating how violent this world is (at least when it comes to human-on-human violence). Just cause it's a medieval setting doesn't mean that it's "kill or be killed, strongest takes all". It's true that the monsters of this world are kind of dangerous and the Sigmusi are a potential threat, but they would just kill her instead of kidnapping. On the other hand, people inside this country are unlikely to enslave or imprison her (you might want to re-read the court trial from chapters 17-19 if you don't understand why I think that). I guess the only remaining threat is the Society of Starry Eyes, but their organisation seems to be perfectly able to contend with Immortals, so Alice not taking battle-oriented skills isn't really a deciding factor in this case IMO.
Drake_Azathoth
While I wouldn't be shocked, in this case it seems like the sensible thing to build on her accomplishments, especially because of xp bonus synergy, the ability to level outside combat, and the proof that noncombat classes can become asskicking Immortals.
White Neko Knight
Hu. I'm surprised the hotel didn't take the bones for Stock. Vinebear stew/soup sounds interesting.
Morog T Tiny
She lives in a violent world while constantly shying from the abilities of violence... she should get stepped on badly or killed for her actions, I am expecting a slave or imprisoned arc.
Mike G.
Thanks, interesting chapter!
Thank you for the chapter!! Some feedback: You ended up using the word "However" a lot. You don't always need to point out the contrast between to things. For instance, you could say "The rainbow mana dispersed back into the surrounding air" instead of "The rainbow mana, however, join with the rainbow mana in the surrounding air". And if you feel that it flows better when you use transition words, maybe try words like "Interestingly" so you don't end up starting sentences with the same word over and over.
