Mortish
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MMF vs MFM + Bride of Shadows MMF Tropes
🕑 Added 2025-05-11 18:59:12 +0000 UTCMy ask box is full of questions regarding this again this morning, so I'm going to write an official explanation of both what the distinction between MMF and MFM is in general, as well as how I personally write MMF. Obviously this is all based on my view of the niche and your definition may vary. You're welcome to post your definition or points of disagreement in the comments. I'll be posting this on Patreon and Tumblr. I think it reads better on Tumblr with the additional formatting options, just FYI.
Erotic Romance vs Erotica
Before we dive into the nuances, it's important to ensure we have a fundamental distinction. Oftentimes, erotic romance and erotica get used interchangeably, either by people unfamiliar with the genre classifications because they don't read smut or people who do read smut but are just too busy to be learning all that lingo. Respect to you for reading this.
Erotica - A story where sexual gratification is the primary goal. There might be emotional relationships, but they won't be fleshed out. The pacing is fast, every scene is either written to arouse or stimulate, and there is generally a unifying fetish. Erotica stories are extremely short. Ones that go on for more than the length of a novella tend to become anthologies or dong-of-the-week style stories. The titles are usually explicit and detail the fetish the story will focus on so thirsty ladies can quickly locate them.
Erotic Romance - A story where romance is the primary goal, however sexual intimacy is a core pillar of romantic interactions. Erotic romance readers may seek out a story for a particular fetish like dom/sub or enemies to lovers, but they aren't seeking to be front-loaded with overt sexual content. They want a logical buildup and emotional stakes, as well as characters they can feel invested in. To a reader, it feels like romance with the added bonus of smut. For professional erotic romance writers, it's romance where you are consistently escalating the sexual tension (even and especially after the 'first time') and never lose sight of the fact that the couple are deeply sexually attracted to one another. While the tag of "erotic" can feel dirty, many very popular, mainstream stories like The Crossfire Series, ACOTAR, and A Den of Vipers are all erotic romances.
Q: What do you mean when you label enemies-to-lovers as a fetish?
A: While classically considered to be a trope, enemies-to-lovers (along with nearly all other tropes) can be sexualized in an erotic romance context. For example, in a standard enemies to lovers story, your protagonist might say, "I can't stand you, but I've grown to see the good in you." In an erotic romance, that could become, "I can't stand you, and I'm so turned on by that." Granted, you don't want to be quite so overt. Keep it sub-textual.
MFM Erotic Romance - Male/Female/Male
An erotic romance where the heroine is in a romantic & sexual relationship with two men who do not interact with one another sexually or romantically.
Key Distinctions:
The guys can have a bromance and there could be a level of sexual appreciation for one another's prowess, but it always goes through the heroine--she is always the focus.
Oftentimes the men are in competition with one another for the heroine. Think reverse-harem into poly.
Characterized by jealously/possessiveness even in more harmonious dynamics.
The men tend to be foils, with a common trope being that one is more dominant/alpha-esque and the other is more intellectual/emotionally mature. The foiling is generally for the benefit of the heroine to "have it all."
Common Pitfalls:
Oversimplified foils that feel like cardboard cutouts. One guy is sunshine all the time, the other is a consummate sad boy. In general, this is something that's less a pitfall of MFM and more a sign of a fledgling author who's still learning to build nuanced characters.
Rushed emotional pacing for the sake of sexytimes. There's one fight/debate and then suddenly everyone is fine with sharing and omg-its-actually-so-cool-to-share-with-my-bro. That's an erotica trope, erotic romance will focus on the continued exploration of the emotional consequences of sharing an intimate partner.
One guy is the favorite, the other is just there for fetish. Raise a red flag when one guy is getting all the good scenes and character development and then other one just shows up to tear off his shirt.
Clever Subversions:
Male leads that seem cliche until the heroine draws something new/hidden out of them. Break the stoic, subjugate through submission, tame the wild guy, etc.
Develop the characters through sex, showing different sides of them in the bedroom, surprising both readers and the heroine. Maybe it even shakes up or breaks the preexisting dynamic.
Let one guy seem like the spare, only to have him make an epic comeback.
MMF Erotic Romance - Male/Male/Female
An erotic romance where all three partners are both romantically and sexually involved with one another, including the two men.
Key Distinctions:
The male leads will love and desire one another, as well as have conflicts within their relationship.
Jealousy becomes more nuanced, as the male leads may feel possessive of one another, not just the heroine.
High emotional stakes as each character is invested in one another, rather than fighting over one person.
Similar to the MFM, the MMF pairings tend to foil one another, however more often the men foil one another, rather than trying to serve the heroine.
Common Pitfalls:
Disjointed character development. Our POV character, generally the heroine, is super fleshed out, we know a fair bit about one of the guys, and then the third one, um, what even is his last name again?
Rushed emotional pacing. Similar to the MFM but arguably more glaring when done incorrectly, given the range of emotions that should be explored when you have three characters who are emotionally interlinked and not just bound by the heroine.
The male female dynamic is rich while the male male dynamic is fetishistic. All of the emotional development goes through the heroine, but the male dynamic is purely sexual. There's no emotional tension or sense of why the partners would be together without the heroine.
Clever Subversions:
Develop the less-intuitive romance first, making the male the heroine is more drawn to feel mysterious, rather than under-developed.
Make everything seem cohesive at first, but hint at deeper issues that will inevitably explode into larger conflicts later.
The only subversion for a fetishistic M/M dynamic is to give the characters and their relationship more depth. You can do this while still catering to an audience who likes a specific trope, such as "reluctant bi" or "she completes us" but make sure to flesh out the emotional arc prior to the sexual one. The former will inform the other in erotic romance.
Q: What about [insert gender identity] / Why did you use [insert gendered word] when you should have used [other gendered word]?
A: Not my area of expertise, you'll have to seek clarity from authors who are familiar with those dynamics. I am bilingual and live on a rural farm in a developing nation with gendered language. Grant me some grace, amigos.
How Does Mortish Write MMF?
The answer is it'll vary from story to story, but I imagine most who read this are concerned with how MMF will be handled in Bride of Shadows. Firstly, I hope from everything above you now recognize I have a decent grasp on how poly romances should be written, including when to artfully turn 'should' into an exception to the rule. That doesn't mean I'm above falling into these pitfalls, especially given the complex nature of writing an interactive novel. I will always be open to feedback on where I'm falling short in the MMF dynamic, though I'm probably going to plug my ears and say "lalalala you don't understand what I'm doing yet" if you come at me with a critique before the characters have even been in a sexual relationship for a week or two. Plus, I write dark romance, so things will get delightfully sloppy. Let me answer via outlining the MMF tropes I utilize in Bride of Shadows.
Bride of Shadows Common MMF Tropes:
Fragile Heroine w/Protectors - Our MC is vulnerable, first through her rebirth and temporal displacement, then through pregnancy and being the target of sinister forces seeking to destroy her. The male leads are her protectors and providers, creating a natural dominant/submissive dynamic with a side of caretaking.
The Established M/M + Healer - The male leads have an existing relationship that is broken/damaged. The MC will identify the fractured aspects and seek to repair them when possible or fill voids that neither of the male leads can.
The Elemental Balance - Each character serves as a pillar, providing a necessary element to complete a perfect trio.
One-Sided Obsession - A more niche trope where one male is obsessed with the other, who remains aloof/unresponsive. I don't do this to its extreme, but definitely play with it as Serax is highly devoted to Valdricht, while Valdricht tends to keep him at arms-length and feels guilty for it. The MC serves as the catalyst for bridging the divide between them in some really unique ways that'll vary depending on your MC's personality.
Tropes I WILL NOT Write:
The Third Wheel Male - I understand being concerned about this in the early episodes, but you guys, I'm still fleshing out the characters. Don't stress if you have a couple of Valdricht or Serax-heavy episodes in the first 2-3 weeks. The first weeks are meant to introduce you to the world and the romance leads. Once I'm confident you know their ins and outs and pros and cons, I will open the narrative for you to choose which one you lean into more, or opt to take a more mediating role. You don't have to worry about me picking favorites in MMF mode, I'm writing both men in complex detail, you get to pick your favorite. And your favorite might change. Maybe you adore Valdricht but don't like how he turns into an overprotective psycho once you're pregnant, so you end up leaning towards Serax who will help you sneak away and do some fun stuff. Etc, etc, etc. They're both complex characters who will evolve as the narrative progresses.
The Third Wheel MC - The MC is the main character. The development of Serax and Valdricht's relationship will never take priority over the development of The MC as a person and her relationships with them. Also, at some point you'll have a baby and then that will be a whole different development focus. Relax and stop messaging me about this (I say with deep affection for you as people emotionally invested in the characters I've written) and please trust that I love the MC. I won't do her dirty. Or you <3
Mary Sue Fixes Everything - Ugh. I loathe this trope. Especially when you have an M/M relationship, then here comes this flawless lady who fixes all of their problems. Don't be fooled by the "Healer" trope. Your MC will bring a dump truck full of problems and damage to the relationship. Some of it she'll work through herself, other things she'll need help from the male leads to help her piece together. The interactive aspect of this really negates this trope, as I'll be giving players the opportunity to play the healer archetype--for better or worse. You might say or do something that causes more harm than good.
MMF By Label Only - A bait and switch that promises M/M both in sex & romance and delivers neither. No one has complained about this aspect yet, but I imagine there are players who are thinking 'um, when am I going to get some M/M content?' For players in Unbound mode (or who will select for MMF content in the upcoming update) that will start at the end of Week One. Again, we're still laying the foundation for the characters and the MC has yet to learn that they're in a sexual relationship. In the second half of the Heretic NSFW route, you'll see one version of that reveal and how it's handled. How your MC reacts will dictate the escalation of M/M content. I intend to write it in a manner that satisfies readers who like light M/M sexual content and those who prefer more detailed M/M. But sexual content aside, there will also be romantic arcs for Serax and Valdricht's relationship, all of which the MC will be an active participant in, rather than just a background observer.
Additional note: The guys aren't going to be Ken dolls to satisfy your tastes. Each has his own sexual preferences, both in MM and MF. Part of the fun is learning what those are. You might even find you prefer one of them for romance and the other for sexytimes.
What happens if I click to remove M/M sexual content?
Erotic scenes will be entirely MFM.
That doesn't mean that the relationship between Serax and Valdricht goes poof. If you want that storyline, you'll have to play MF mode with Valdricht. I am not able to write a separate storyline where possessive demigod Valdricht is inexplicably okay with sharing his mate with Serax, whom he has no sexual or romantic relationship with. I did my best to try to make it work with the existing storyline, but it required betraying key aspects of the characters to satisfy a sexual kink. We'll be circling back once the main two storylines are complete to discuss which alternate storylines we want to explore and MFM will be among the choices.
-Mortish
Comments
Mortish
Glad to hear it! Right now, the tendencies are all over the place. I made them to satisfy different personality types rather than thinking of how they'd be implemented, evenly distributed, and balanced. That's why I put a lot of thought into the new tendency list. I'll be sharing the detailed list on Tumblr this week after I release the next update, but currently it's Daring/Measured, Devout/Defiant, Cynical/Idealistic, Intuitive/Erudite, Stoic/Tender, and Provocative/Demure.
Mortish
I'll be doing more writing info posts like this, let me know if you think of any subjects you'd like me to cover. Yeah, the official FAQ is on my To-Do list. I've held off because I wasn't certain what would be staying and going in the Week One update, but I've done a ton of work on the draft in the past couple of days (while also working on Night VI, standard heretic is almost ready, don't come for me guys) and I have a much clearer picture of how the updated routes will play out. Honestly, being a homebody is soooo underrated. I wake up every day a little sad I'm not a chic 50's housewife.
Ms.Miko (aka hapamama93)
I'm honestly pretty excited for the new game mechanics. it makes sense, and the compromise with MM content is works fine w me too. I ❤ a MM fluff romance. I'm even more excited for more frequent updates 😆 I was curious tho, if u would consider listing which tendencies balance one another? Like pious vs irreverent?
Ro
This was honestly super informative, and I'm glad you're laying down your boundaries. Also, while not into poly of any kind, it's fascinating to see how a writer breaks it down to avoid the pitfalls. Maybe a suggestion? Make a FAQ section on your blog to link to when asked about common things or what you don't have set yet? Just so you don't have to repeat yourself and can limit what topics people ask you? (I know there's one in-game, but it's after the demo, thus not as accessible, and may be easier to create a page of it on your blog as well, especially since that's where people go to ask questions.) Also, "Maybe you adore Valdricht, but don't like how he turns into an overprotective psycho once you're pregnant." No, just makes me love him more, because someone enabling me to further live my homebody lifestyle? 😂 10/10, perfect husband.
