lushaani
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Drawings of the Week! June 22nd!
🕑 Added 2024-06-22 19:02:36 +0000 UTCThis was a pretty good week for drawing :DDD
Some commissions, some sponsored pics, some for funsies doodling and concepting. And a great big giant throbbing commission sequence being drafted! Hype!
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Emotionally, it's been a bit of a weird one actually.
I was confronted with the thought of- "What are you trying to accomplish?" And specifically in the form of a First Nations Artists' grant- and the combination of these two thoughts really threw me for a loop. Combining with my inability to commit to a singular idea at the beginning of the year. My self confidence in my ability as a creator is at an all time low.
I do commissions to survive. But what am I surviving "to"?
I'd love to make games, comics. But how can I? My confidence in my ideas is shattered. It's got me feeling really introspective about what I want to do either when I build up my savings again, or if for some reason, this opportunity works out for me. (Though, in another example of my low self esteem at the moment. I'm assuming that they'll look at the portfolio I made and just go: LOL, no.) But I'm thinking a lot about it, because, I am afraid of failure. I'm afraid of disappointing myself again.
I've been unable to commit to any project, even really small ones. I panic and get overwhelmed and then scrap it before it's even had a chance to take off. Take off, hell, they're exploding in the hangers.
There aren't any answers or revelations yet. But I'll definitely be thinking a lot about it over the weekend.
And as always, thank you for all the support peeps!
