Magic_Smithing
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Ch: 1 Rewrite
🕑 Added 2023-03-04 05:07:42 +0000 UTCAuthor’s Note:
Thanks for checking out my rewrite of chapter 1. More are to come but first I want to set expectations. There won't be any major changes to the story, as these rewrites are mostly because I went back and reread the first chapter I wrote years ago and almost paled at how many grammar mistakes there were. Hence the touch ups.
Please tell me if you spot anything I missed, as I would like to correct it before I post this on RoyalRoad.
Thanks for the help.
**********
A long time ago, my eighth-grade teacher wrote a quote from the great Albert Einstein on the board. It went, "Time is relative; its only worth depends upon what we do in passing."
Back then, those were just words. An anecdote meant to promote thought in a bunch of juvenile children. Of course, none of us thought too deeply about the words, and I doubt my teacher had either. I don’t even remember his name, but he had been, what, 30 back then?
What insights could someone essentially just starting their life possibly have on time and its importance or lack thereof?
My thoughts grew ever jaded as I gazed up at the thatched roof above me, unable to properly move my body or so much as turn my head. I’d spent the last week like this, and it was becoming more apparent that I was going stir-crazy.
It didn’t help that my emotions were constantly flip-flopping on me. Like now, I was just sad that I couldn’t move, but now I was feeling thankful to be alive. After all, things could be worse…. I could still be dead.
It felt like just a moment ago, I was hanging out with my best friend, Stanley. He was my only friend, really, but that didn't diminish the importance I placed on our friendship.
After high school, he was the only person I tried to stay in contact with. My parents called me antisocial when I was in school, but I was just your average-looking senior boy who didn’t know his place in the world. I preferred games and TV over people and growing up as an only child didn’t help much either.
I talked to people at school, but that’s all they were, school acquaintances, nothing more. I was content to move through life, acknowledging people and interacting with them but not making any real friends. Senior year, that all changed when I met Stanley.
We knew of each other back then, but it wasn't like we'd ever talked at length before. We probably only spoke a few words to each other, which made it much weirder when he approached me about joining the Science club.
I was school smart, where I could read, listen to people talk, memorize terms, take a test, and pass it, but by no means was I a genius or overachiever. Besides, knowing science and loving science were two totally different things. So, I politely turned Stanley down after listening to his sales pitch.
I thought that would be the end of it and he would be on his way, but even after I refused him, Stanley started asking me what appeared to be harmless questions. What do you do after school? Who do you hang with? Do you have a job? Any sports?
Again, I may be book smart, but I wasn’t people smart, so it wasn't until Stanley asked his last question that I finally realized what he was doing. By my admission, I had no reason to turn down his offer.
By the end of lunch, I was signed up for the science club and told there would be a meeting after school. And that was where my only true friendship in life started.
I attended that first meeting as I had promised. Afterward, I tried to quit multiple times, but Stanley wouldn’t have it and constantly ensured I attended the meetings. He was the science club's president and wouldn't take no for an answer. To this day, I don’t know what he saw in me, but I'm glad he didn't let me quit.
And science club wasn't all that bad. We did little experiments occasionally, but it was mostly a place for budding scientists to talk with like-minded people. There were groups inside the club for every scientific field, such as astrology, botany, chemistry, and everything else under the sun and beyond.
Stanley’s thing was rocks or geology, if I was being more accurate. His uncle lived in California on a piece of land that was a prominent gold mine in the 1850s. Stanley told me it only took one trip to his uncle’s place as a kid to make him fall in love with everything rock related. His uncle was also a blacksmith, like the old-timey kind that worked with a forge and made specialty items for people. One of the coolest things Stanley owned was a real-life sword crafted by his uncle.
Needless to say, his summers were much cooler than mine, where I spent the whole time playing Skyrim. While I was inside, Stanley was learning about metals from his uncle when he wasn't out panning for gold.
Unlike Stanley, I had no scientific interests. So, I figured I’d spend the time hanging with him since he practically strong-armed me into joining—the best decision of my life.
We parted after graduating high school, and he went off to college, but we still kept in touch, and I would even chill with him on campus when I could.
Unable to move and left to my thoughts, I almost started tearing up thinking about my friend.
The best moments of my life were spent hanging out with Stanley, and nothing, even how I died, would change that.
It happened the spring I turned twenty-three. Stanley had plans to go to his uncle’s place like he usually did during spring break. Only this time, he offered for me to join him. I was between jobs then, so I hopped on the chance to blow off some steam with my best friend.
His uncle was a great guy. We spent days panning for gold in a small stream, I watched Stanley turn an old railroad spike into a knife, and we got to chill under the stars every night. It was on the fifth day that it happened.
We were down an old mine shaft, looking for quartz seams that might still have traces of gold left. Almost all of the gold had long since been mined away, but according to Stanley and his uncle, there were still a few spots it could be found in small quantities.
After seven hours of swinging a pickaxe, our bags were full of quartz. We would've probably gotten less than an ounce of gold overall, but we didn't care about the money; we did it for the experience.
Suddenly, I started to feel a sense of vertigo, and when I looked at Stanley, he was also tripping over his feet. Then the ground started to shake for real, and we both paled. It was an earthquake, and we were still deep in the mine.
We dropped our gear and ran for the exit. Bits of stone and dust fell from overhead, impacting our mining helmets, and you could hear the old wooden beams creaking under the shifting earth.
The shaking made running difficult, but both of us were motivated enough to overcome it. My heart beat a mile a minute as we sprinted toward the exit.
But just as we saw the light up ahead, the shaking stopped. The earthquake was over as quickly as it began. But just because the shaking had stopped didn't mean we did. We were still coursing with adrenaline, and we needed a breath of fresh air after such a scare. Plus, neither of us wanted to remain underground after such a thing.
An overwhelming sense of relief came over me as we stepped outside. Fresh air never tasted so good.
I was about to high-five Stanley when I heard the sound of splintering wood right behind us.
I don’t remember what made me do it, but I shoved Stanley with everything I had. The last thing I saw as the side of the mountain fell on me was my friend rolling to safety.
…..
After what felt like an eternity of being crushed, the pressure suddenly vanished, and I could breathe again. Retching a wad of bile from my throat, I took the largest breath I ever remember and let out a triumphant scream.
My senses felt muted, and before I knew what was happening, I could vagally feel myself being quickly wiped down with a rough wet towel and wrapped in an itchy blanket. I felt like Play-Doh being molded by giant hands and couldn’t even struggle if I tried. My mussel control was everywhere, and could only flail inside the covering.
People were talking around me, but everything sounded muffled and wrong. I couldn't understand anything anybody was saying. I tried to ask what was wrong with me and if my friend was ok, only to produce another wailing screech.
IO had no idea what was happening, so when floating text appeared in front of my face, I froze in confusion.
[Initializing Complete]
LV: 1 Experience: 0/100
Health: 80/80 Stamina: 33/33 Manna:50/50
Vitality: 8
Endurance: 1
Strength: 1
Agility: 1
Senses: 3
Mind: 26
Magic: 5
Clarity: 1
Skills:
At the time, I had no idea what the hell I was looking at.
Only later did I realize that I had died and been reborn, but thinking about that had to wait. As a baby, I had almost no strength, and when I felt tired, it was almost impossible to keep my eyes open.
A new world awaited me, but for now, I would sleep and dream of what would come next. Because hell if I knew, anything was better than staring at a roof all day.
Comments
Georgi Gamzakov
"My mussel control was everywhere.." -> muscle control. I doubt you mean she is Aquaman and can control the sea-life :D
Gon of the Dra
you know ive really been wanting to re-read this story, so thanks for giving me an excuse~
Eliezer
I'm very skeptical of that purported Einstein quote. It's all over the Internet, has no original source attributed to it, and is frankly Not How Relativity Works.
Jonathan
One thing to really key on is tense consistency. You have a terrible tendency to flip back and forth between past and present tense.
Jonathan
My thoughts grew ever jaded as I gazed up at the thatched roof above me, My thoughts grew ever more jaded as I gazed up at the thatched roof above me,
Matt S.
You wrote astrology, but what you mean is astronomy. Astrology is fortune telling with stars, astronomy is science. :)
Tyler Machado
You made a mistake here. My senses felt muted, and before I knew what was happening, I could vagally(you want vaguely) feel myself being quickly wiped down with a rough wet towel and wrapped in
Adama
Also "mussel" should be "muscle"
Kyfe
Found 1 minor typo. Just above [Initializing], you have "IO" instead of "I."
Kosnik4
I'm not sure about the whole story, but at least up until chapter 60, where I finally got and started using my editing software.
Jason Markus
I know you sometimes struggle writing but God damnit it's good. I have been subbed a long time and as long as you write this I'll read it.
Tomer Yud
Are you going to rewrite the whole story?
