Magic_Smithing
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Ch: 30
🕑 Added 2020-06-16 00:17:37 +0000 UTC
Through the trees we march, trying to maintain a tight formation in the dark forest.
In our silence, the wind conducts a foreboding tune with the trees acting as the grandest of symphonies.
My hands are too clammy. Wiping my sweaty palms against my shirt proves a fruitless effort. The tight grip I have on my axe insures they’ll just become sweaty again in a few moments.
For a fleeting instant, I miss our time marching here.
Today is the day we attack the goblin camp. We adjusted the formation yesterday and reached our final campsite without running into a single goblin patrol. The lack of goblins in the area is unnerving. The size of the horde was reported to be massive, it’s unlikely that we just happened to avoid every one of their patrols.
We divided the watch into two shifts last night thinking we might have been spotted during our approach but nothing ever came in the night.
We left our camp three hours before dawn, after we stashed our supplies in the trees. We would regroup here after the fight was over whether we won or had to retreat.
Ronald, followed by master and Camden, lead our group towards the goblins’ clearing. The headman’s jelen was left back in our camp, he sadly has had no practice fighting while riding an animal. Our pace is slow but steady. We want to reach the camp as soon as the sun rises. We want to catch them together so we aren’t attacked from our rear.
Looking forward, I refuse to glance at the people marching beside me. If I look at the terrified faces of my companions again my will to advance might shatter. I thought I no longer feared goblins.
I’ve come across goblins plenty of times when I was working with dad. I’ve killed many goblins when they attack us during our work in the woods. My victories seem shallow now that I know I basically killed the goblin equivalent of children. This time we’re attacking them and this time they might have the strength to win.
We approach a tree at least eight feet in diameter. I hold up my left hand and the man to my right raises his right hand. Silently, our group splits between the two of us as we circle the tree and reform on the other side.
For a split second I run my hands across the bark on the base of the tree. Cut marks line the entire base of the tree and it’s not only this one. The night is slowly receding allowing me to see the other trees surrounding us. It doesn’t matter the size of the tree; every trunk is scarred at the base with deep cuts.
Were they testing the wood for something?
As we advance, we see more and more stumps of trees. We’re almost there, I can see the first rays of the morning sun through the tree line.
Ronald is peering around a tree, observing the goblin camp. This is the last chance for the headman to call off the attack.
We have no time for a passionate speech and we would be just giving our position away. Camden simply walks to the front of our formation and takes his place amongst us. Del follows him, breaking off towards me at the last minute. We share a long hug that disguises my attempt to fill his pickaxe with my mana.
With glowing pickaxe in hand, Del takes his spot to my left among the frontline. We all watch Ronald with bated breath. The man steps out of the trees’ shadow and raises his bow. In a beautiful motion, Ronald pulls an arrow from his quiver and draws the string on his bow. The sound his bow makes as he releases his first arrow pierces our hearts.
We advance once we hear the screams. Not the screams of people but the animalistic sounds of a dying creature and its raging brethren.
Ronald releases another two arrows before we exit the tree line.
My heart is about to explode. The adrenalin is charging through every part of my body. No good, I can’t think straight. Taking the biggest breath I can, I slowly exhale and use Meditation. I can’t fully utilize the skill with everything going on but it clears my head enough to analyze the situation.
The goblin clearing is huge, it’s at least a mile in diameter maybe two. The floor of the clearing has tree stumps scattered everywhere. They must have felled tens of thousands of trees to create this clearing.
The morning sun shines upon the goblin camp. Maybe a dozen structures are grouped together in the center of the clearing. The goblins built their large huts from the tree limbs they harvested and an abundance of mud to scrape together their primitive dwellings.
I can only spare a few seconds to map out the terrain in my head. Ronald warned everyone about the village and the stumps before we started marching this morning.
I freeze in the face of the coming horde. The goblins are charging us en mass. Most are the normal goblins I’ve seen before, of course never in this number. I can see the towering figures of the hobs amongst the approaching swarm.
With each second that passes more goblins crawl from the holes littering their huts. Like bees, the goblins swarm around their homes until they spot us on the horizon.
Soon a wave of goblins is charging our location.
“Move out of the trees!” Camden’s voice almost goes unnoticed.
“Forward!” He shouts again. We aren’t close enough?
A quick side glance allows me to see that half of our formation is still stuck amongst the trees. Oh, we still need to march forward.
My legs don’t want to move.
“Don’t falter! Together we will be victorious! Forward!!!!!” Thanks to the headman my paralysis fades enough for me to take a few steps forward. Each step I take with the other high leveled people gives hope to those still cowering in fear behind us.
The formation finally fully exits the forest proper. The closest goblins are only 500 feet away from us and closing fast. Those in front ready their weapons. Thanks to my suggestions we spread out the few of us who wielded spears in the frontline. It’s too bad the headman only had seven spears to distribute amongst the men. If only this threat was spotted sooner. I wouldn’t have sold my last batch of weapons. Fate can be cruel sometimes.
In between the spear wielders, the strongest people are positioned to attack the ones who survive the first spear strikes. We leave gaps in between us, so that we can intentionally let the weaker goblins through to the mid guard. The frontline is supposed to take a few steps forward after the first wave. We are the ones most likely to survive against a hob so it’s our job to stall or injure them best we can.
200 feet and closing. I expel the most magical energy I’ve ever used at once. I use 500 mana to activate my Mana Skin skill. The large amount of mana covers my body and I shrink it down to the size it naturally manifests at. Hopefully my skill will be strong enough to withstand a goblin’s attack.
100 feet left. I don’t know if there are truly any gods. I never experienced any divine revelations in either of my worlds. Not through death or rebirth has a higher power made its presence known to me. I know I’m not that spiritual. I doubt the short prayer at dinner time counts towards anything.
50 feet, I can see their crazed faces approaching. I offer this humble prayer to anything listening. Please spare the lives of my father and master. Please protect Camden and Braddon, so Sandra doesn’t come back home to a broken family. Please protect these brave souls as they defend their homes and families. I don’t know how to finish a prayer in this world so forgive me if I use something from another. Amen.
Barrier raised, weapon ready, prayer sent…
…Here they come!
The sea of goblins throws its first wave at us. 30 odd goblins of different sizes rush us with reckless abandon armed with stone, bone, and wood weapons.
Seven spears thrust in front of us, five strike true, ripping large gashes into the charging masses. A large goblin, not yet a hob, heads straight towards me. One swing of my axe and the goblin’s head lies at my feet. Before the goblin’s body falls to the ground three more run at me screaming.
I shuffle my feet and activate Double Strike. My first strike rips a goblin’s chest apart while my second opens another’s stomach, spilling its insides at my feet. The third goblin runs past me only to be slashed by two villagers wielding their sickles.
I can’t look behind right now. A hobgoblin six inches shorter than me, wielding a stone-tipped spear, kicks the ground with his feet and launches himself at me. “Crap!” I bring my axe above my head and move closer to him. I barely make it in time for the wooden parts of our weapons to clash. Blocking his overhead strike, I can feel the force behind his spear, the hob’s strength must be close to 100.
A savage grin crosses the hob’s face as he takes a step back, drawing his spear shaft against my hands. He’s trying to cut my fingers off!
Before he can take another step back, I activate Double Step, closing the distance between us more. I swing my axe in an over-head manner just like he tried to do but I use Precise Strike, my axe splits his spear in two and lands on his collarbone. I can feel my axe shear against his bones. The toughness of the hob was leagues above the others.
Another step forward and another dead goblin falls in my path, that’s five kills.
The air whistles as arrows sail through the sky.
300 feet away from our position the hunters appear out of the trees guarded by my father and a dozen other villagers. They took a section of high ground that was better suited for their archery skills.
The headman was skeptical when I told him we should split our forces yesterday. Our archers are used to taking precise shots at wild game, they probably would have found little success in having to shoot from behind a wall of villagers.
My plan seems to be a success. Most of the horde is still focused on us and the archers are picking off the goblins one by one. The few goblins moving towards the archers are ripped in half by father’s axe.
“! Horned Hob!” Someone shouts in the chaos.
Many of us stop and desperately look around for the approaching calamity.
It’s not hard for us to spot. Taller than me, the shape of the horned hob sends a shiver down my spine. The creature must be 6’ 5’’ at least and its three pointy horns stand straight up giving it the appearance of being taller. Its body is thin and gangly in opposition to the sense of danger that is radiating off of the hob. Worst of all this goblin has armor, it’s wearing what looks like pieces of grey crab shell around its chest, legs, and forearms, with a helmet that accents its horns. The skin of the hob is covered in scars, giving a scary look into how many fights it must have survived.
Unlike the other goblins it scans our ranks. Its eyes immediately fall on Master Del whose magic pickaxe mows through four goblins without any resistance. Their eyes meet across the field and both radiate a strength that causes the other goblins around them to scatter.
I twist around and slash another goblin almost completely through horizontally. Making sure the goblin falls lifelessly to the ground, I turn back to where my master was standing.
Where did he go?
“Eeeerrrrrrr!”
The screech of metal scrapes my ears and muffles the surrounding conflict. Tracing the sound, I see Del clashing with the horned hob. His pickaxe that can cut through stone like butter is stopped by two fangs. The horned hob is wielding a pair of black fangs that resemble a snake’s fangs only they’re three feet long.
The hob managed to stop master’s strike by holding his daggers in an x formation. Of course, the goblin can’t compare with master’s strength and is pushed back by the force of his strike. Master rushes the goblin again and this time his arms blur forming three simultaneous strikes. I’ve seen master use Multi-Strike before and he can usually swing his hammer five or six times with his skill. Using the pickaxe must be throwing him off.
Whatever the fangs are, they allow the goblin to parry master’s first two strikes. The goblins footwork make it look like it’s dancing. The goblin already learned it can’t match master’s speed and strength, so each parry only glances master’s weapon enough to redirect the blow. Luckily, master’s third strike isn’t redirected enough for the goblin to dodge.
The spike of master’s pickaxe lands against the goblin’s armored chest. Master won; the creature will be skewered.
“Oh no!” My breath catches in my throat. Instead of the pickaxe piercing the goblins armor, the monster leapt back at the last second, reducing the force from master’s attack. The goblin is still blasted back but this time it curls into itself and rolls until its momentum is gone. The creature springs to its feet and I can see its armor.
A spot on the goblins right chest area is deeply cracked with smaller fractures spreading throughout the rest of the chest guard. What the hell is that armor made of!? It might not have been a full strike from master but his pickaxe is still enchanted right now, he should have ripped that hob in half!
Did we underestimate the horned hobs!? I try and not to panic, only to see the copper lines covering master’s pickaxe fade away. The goblin eyes master as he moves the drained pickaxe to his back and draws his hammer from his side. I thought my magic would last longer.
They both look ready to clash again. Master takes his stance as the goblin steadily approaches him, knowing not to recklessly charge anymore.
I expect them to start exchanging blows once the goblin reaches four feet in front of master. Their bodies tense, preparing for the coming clash.
But another person dares to interfere with the fight.
Before the goblin moves to attack Del an arrow strikes the weakened part of its armor. The arrow digs into the already weakened armor and lightly pierces the hob’s flesh. The goblin is only caught off guard once, even when wounded, it twists its body avoiding another shot to the chest.
I spot Ronald a distance away surrounded by dead goblins aiming his bow at the hob. The two of them can surely bring the beast down together!
I can feel a chunk of my mana surrounding me be ripped away from my back. I jump forward and twist my body around when I touch the ground. A goblin with a stone knife is chasing after me. A quick flick of my axe sends it off to the afterlife. Why did a goblin attack me from behind?
Scanning my surroundings reveals that our formation is almost completely shattered. The number of goblins pressing the charge has overwhelmed everyone and spread our formation out to the point people aren’t close enough to help each other.
First Del and now us. Is father ok still!?
I’m relieved to see that a smaller group of goblins is assailing our archers which they have no problem handling. In fact, they’re trying to reduce the numbers charging towards us with their arrows but the flood of goblins is already mostly upon us.
Focus.
I stabilize my Mana Skin skill and charge a hob attacking a villager wielding a sharpened hoe.
My axe rips through the goblins exposed back. I feel the resistance as my axe bisects the creature’s spine. The creature’s body collapses to the ground followed soon by the villager’s still form. A bone spear is lodged up through the villager’s jaw and into his skull.
The adrenalin pumping through my veins is the only thing that keeps me from retching at the sight. I need to keep going.
A swing of my axe and another goblin dies.
Another goblin.
Another goblin.
Another goblin body falls on a still villager. I remember him, he asked me to make his wife a new pan as a spring gift for her last year.
So much blood.
“Horned, AAAAGGGG!” I quickly face a screaming villager to my left. His screaming stops as two familiar black fangs pierce his chest and side. The villager’s body falls and I’m faced with another horned hob. I don’t take my eyes off of it, as I check the side of my vision.
Master appears to be winning but he’s still facing the first horned hob. This isn’t how we planned it!
The smile the new horned hob gives me is revolting. It’s a few inches shorter than me and still has a willowy frame, same as the other one. This horned hob however has much smaller horns. You might be correct in calling them more lumps than horns. I was told that the horns differ between goblins, is this his style of horns or is it a newly grown horned hob? Even worse he’s wearing the same type of armor as the other horned hob only without a helmet.
I haven’t been this scared since the Karhu attack.
Run! Run, you fool! This is too much! The goblins weren’t supposed to be this strong! No one would blame me for running away.
But what then? This goblin starts tearing through the rest of the villagers. Maybe he attacks father, or helps the other hob fight Del.
I can’t run away.
I won’t!
Straightening my back, I take my stance. The goblin must think my resistance is amusing, his dry cackle almost breaks my resolve.
Is this monster looking down on me! I’ll show him I’ll…!
I pause after I take a step closer to the goblin. Was I about to charge? My sudden urge to attack the goblin fades the more I ponder my spontaneous rage.
Did this goblin use a skill on me?!
The goblin’s smile slightly falters when I don’t continue my charge. That’s it! The weaker goblins probably only have tier 1 and 2 skills but anything that can survive as long as my opponent must have at least a single tier 3 skill.
That must have been a taunt skill and my Mental Resistance must have saved me. If I blindly charged the hob I probably would’ve been cut down in seconds.
My time to ponder dwindles as the confident goblin takes a few measured steps in my direction.
He’s too close now…
If I turned to run, he would stab me in the back.
I take a deep steadying breath, and discard any ideas of fleeing and try to bury my fear as deep as I can in my head. This is happening, Aaliyah.
Are you going to roll over and die again!?
“No!!” I take another step forward. We’re six feet apart now. Either of us could close the distance in a second. My axe versus his fangs. We both wait for the other to start.
The stare down lasts for an eternity. I can feel my skills’ cooldown times finishing. If he wants to give me the first move, then fine, I’ll make the first move.
I activate Double Step and Double Strike while screaming with Intimidating Shout. I ignore the toll of using three skills simultaneously. I close the distance and send my first strike to his armored chest and aim my second strike at his face. Let’s see if you can smile after this!
Crap, he’s still smiling!
With ease, the hob stops my first strike with his fang in his left hand. My Intimidating Shout failed to make him pause. I can’t stop now. My skill is already helping me send another strike to the creature’s face. The goblin raises his right fang and guards his face from my strike. If he can easily stop my swings with one arm he has to be as strong as father, with a strength closer to 200.
Oh no! The goblin capitalizes on my failed strikes. His left fang is horizontally swung at my midsection. I try to leap back but he takes a step forward keeping me within his range. The black fang halts against my strengthened Mana Skin for a split second before it cleaves a right through my skill.
I leap back again and thankfully the hob doesn’t follow me this time. I can’t afford to look down. The sting across my abs is all I need to feel to know that he got me. Luckily it only stings, I would know if it was more than a deep scratch.
Those black fangs he’s using as daggers are stronger than they look. They’re able to take a blow from my axe, pierced my Mana Skin, went through my weighted vest, and cut my skin which boasts a fair 80 in Endurance.
The hob brings his left fang up to his face and observes the tip. He’s probably wondering why it was so hard to cut me. while he’s checking his weapon, I loosen my stance. I can’t match his strength or weapons, so my only chance at victory is if I can find an opening while avoiding his strikes. I make sure to patch up my Mana Skin skill before he tries for another attack.
Finished inspecting his weapon, the goblin rushes me with his fangs raised in both hands. Damn, he’s fast. I try to continue backing up but the many stumps are making it difficult.
He’s too close again. A lightning fast strike comes at my right shoulder from his left fang. I immediately raise my axe and try to stop his swift attack. I can feel the strength behind his blow, my arms almost buckle under the force. I need to move, so I use the force behind his strike to twist my body backwards. I feel my Mana Skin rip again, only this time he didn’t reach my clothes.
All I can do is dodge as the hob advances on me relentlessly.
I block one strike only to have him clip me with his other fang. With every other combo he cuts me a little bit more.
He’ll bleed me to death if I don’t figure something out! I need to strike back!
I block right and dodge the strike coming from my left. That’s the eighth time he’s led with his left hand. This could be my chance.
As he moves in for another volley of strikes, I step to my left. I narrowly miss his left-handed strike and now I have an opening. Raising my axe overhead, I bring it down with everything I have.
The hob blocks my blow by raising his fangs in the same x formation the other goblin used against master. I need more force!
Gritting my teeth, I try and push against the hob’s iron defense, until I feel it!
A new skill activates!
My axe feels heavier in my hands and helps me push the goblin back. The sudden shift in weight caught the goblin off guard and my axe moves across his armored chest. The weird grey crab armor now has a line running across it.
I’ll take whatever I can get.
Pausing a few feet away, the goblin looks pissed now. He obviously thought I would never hit him. Take that, you smug bastard.
His charge signals the continuation of our fight but now we settle into a new rhythm. I’m no longer unable to touch him. The skill has a horrible 64 second cooldown, so I’m still stuck dodging most of the time unfortunately. I’m still getting cut but now his armor is scarred with my successful counter attacks.
We both separate and take some deep breaths after a particularly hard fray. I’m happy to see the goblin no longer looking down on me but that doesn’t change my situation. Cuts litter my body and I’ve yet to make him bleed. Even with my new weighted strikes his ability to block me drastically reduces any damage I can inflict.
I need to try something new.
I need to attack him from his side.
This time I’m the one signaling the continuation of our fight with my advance. The hob quickly takes his stance and readies to receive my new skill. He’s gotten used to my cooldown times.
I charge forward but activate Double Step to try rushing diagonally to his right side. If I can attack from his weaker side than maybe I can get a clean hit.
But I can’t catch him off guard. He only needs to shift his stance to face me when I move too far to his right. I need to move faster!
Double Step!
Double Step!
Can’t he at least get dizzy tracking me as I run circles around him!
Double Step has the lowest cooldown of any of my skills. I only need to wait three seconds before… wait is it two seconds? I’ve always practiced with Double Step while I ran every morning but I’ve never pushed it this hard before. With the added pressure I can feel the skill becoming stronger.
A little bit more!
I can feel it! The cooldown is recharging as soon as the skill activates! Continuous Double Step!
I feel my stamina draining away but I’m circling so fast the goblin can barely keep up. For the first time it looks nervous.
This is my one and only chance. I can feel my Stamina and Mana reaching their limits and my body is warning me my Health is suffering as well.
I still need a little more speed.
If I can use Double Step continuously then what happens if I activate it multiple times at once? I ready my axe. If this works, I’ll only have one chance to win. I won’t have the strength to continue afterwards, so even if I break myself, I’ll take this goblin down!
Double Step, Double Step, Double Step!
The world becomes stagnant around me as I essentially take six empowered steps in less than a second. I can barely control myself as I appear behind the goblin. Not off to his side but directly behind him!
Precise Strike, Double Strike, and my new skill all combine as I swing my axe at the back of his exposed head.
I’m waiting for him to dodge at the last second. Doubt plagues my mind even as my axe sinks into his skull. My second strike is overkill as the hobs head explodes with the first strike.
I tumble with my enemies’ body to the ground. Green blood washes over me. I try to roll off of the headless corpse but my body isn’t responding.
I can hardly turn my head when I hear the shrieks surrounding me. The surrounding goblins stayed out of our way during the fight either out of respect or possibly fear but seeing their dead leader has forced them into a frenzy.
It’s almost funny. I manage to kill the demon lord only to die at the hands of the first mobs you meet.
The screaming intensifies but the smaller goblins never reach me. Finally, a goblin enters my view but it’s too busy fighting a villager.
“We got you!” The villager stabs the goblin in its chest with a long dagger. His eyes meet mine as the goblin collapses. “We’ll protect you!”
The man’s words strike a chord in my heart.
I’m saved!
My vision becomes blurry, I can’t help but release all my feelings I’ve been suppressing during my fight.
My worries, my doubt, sadness, and fears, all cascade out of my eyes upon hearing the villagers protecting my weakened state.
In between my tears the outer edges of my vision slowly fade away. No matter how hard I try to stay awake I slip into oblivion.
The last thing I think I hear is master calling my name.
**********
Opening my eyes, I’m in a familiar place.
My soul.
I stumble to my feet. Going from, so tired you can’t move, to feeling your best is disorienting.
I look up at the stars and I feel an overwhelming sense of relief. This world is mine. Nothing will harm me here, though it is a little disconcerting I entered here without using my skill or looking at my soul.
Should I try to return as quickly as possible?
…
A silent minute passes before I take a seat in the center of the clearing. Even if I return, my body has already reached its limits. Anyways, if I’m going to die again this seems like the best place to do it.
It’s not just my body that’s physically tired. Even in this place my mind still hurts thinking about the last few days.
I’ll clear my head and try to rejoin the outside world later. Hopefully I wasn’t hallucinating about master’s voice. If he won his fight, he and Ronald should be able to clean up the rest of the goblins, easily.
The bigger question is what happens next? Can this be considered a win for us?
I’d like to think we simply broke even.
Slipping into a deep meditative state, I prepare mentally for the challenges ahead.
**********
Authors Notes:
Wow, this was a new experience. I’ve included a few small fights here and there but this is the first pure action chapter I’ve ever written. I debated whether or not I could stick to my first-person point of view throughout the whole chapter, so please let me know what you think about it below. Did I do the chapter justice while sticking to a single person’s point of view?
I’ve also noticed my chapters are increasing in length. I started off around two thousand words a chapter. Then thought three thousand made a better chapter. Next, I cut back public chapters to once a week, so I figured they should be at least four thousand words. Now I’m averaging five thousand. I wonder how much more my chapters will grow as I continue to write.
I want to thank all the new patrons as well as those who’ve been following me since the beginning. I never thought the story would be where it is in only two months. I wish to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for all your support.
As always, stay safe.
Comments
a lee
i found it engaging and easy to follow at no point was i lost or confused
Max Scherer
Why is the chapter double in here? o.o Ohh and nice chapter i am looking forward to more!
Arvid Hedebark
What happened to the bitter healer woman again? Why is she not with the expedition?
Stephen Pearson
Looking unlikely:-( Really looking forward to the reactions and gains! Hopefully there's not a cliff-ish viewpoint switcharoo to Emily Pitz or something... that's be evil genius territory right there:-p
Robert Mullins
Chappie today?
Dave_S
and its posted double ;)
Dave_S
"The goblin eyes master as he moves the drained pickaxe to his back and draws his hammer from his side." should be "follow master" or so
Infusing the weapon has no effect if the weapon has no runes and using it instinctively is even more difficult and not something you should try in the middle of combat, last and most importantly she did not have enough mana she ran out of mana at the end.
Kristaps Kramins
One thing i didn't like is how she wasn't using her magic as her edge. She relied too much on her skills and not mana. Sure she used the mana skin but thats it. She could have injected mana in her weapon or just tried to somehow instinctively used it when push came to shove. Like infused herself, simply expel mana in the gobs face as a distraction atempted chanting, even if its dangerous anything like that.
Emma Carlin
Overall I liked the chapter a lot. Similar to other comments my biggest gripe was how long she seemed to focus on Del's fight without being interrupted. One way I think you could make it more realistic would be if she saw his fight more piece by piece. Maybe the first glimpse she's shocked to see the hob keeping up with Del's speed. She then kills a few goblins herself. Then hears a mighty clang only to notice the hob blocked Del's strike which worries her because she thought Del would've won already. That kind of back and forth, a bit of chaos is good I think.
Call0013
I think the Main thing I would change is her new Skills cooldown Its way to High, or have her get it in the fight against a normal Goblins before she encounters the Hob so she is waiting seconds for it to come off Cooldown instead of minutes,Her battle with the Hob also took way to long. The length of the Battle against a Single enemy should be measured in seconds not minutes.
The-Anti-Akuma
Whats up with the double paste?
Enzo Elacqua
The double posting of the chapter really messed me up. I thought I had a whole other half left to read but nope!
fbt
btw, I think you mentioned not owning the gfx at top of the RR page and above, but it's a really nice one anyway! :) And, obviously, very topical.
Toni Pampliega
Points to improved in t'he chap: 1) The enemy ahead. She shouldnt have time to see the fight of Del in detail. I suggest u could add that between kill and kill she glanced briefly to the combat. She should bé fighting to survive. 2) Swarm enemy. As mentioned before, she should be surrounded and attacked by gobs. In the 10 first minutes she should have killed or wounded 30 goblins at least, cas she is t'he front line. With a few hobs. And she should kill them by groups of 2-3 by swing. There hundreds coming at her. 3) Timing of the fight. The encounter with t'he horned should bé in t'he middle-end of the battle, with t'he Last reinforcements of the globs? This Will help with t'he Last comments and the Black out, making it morè realistic. I really liked the chap, but there morè details to pullish than normally. Keep the good WORK! (NOW to wait for the New skills and loot... Xd)
CyclopsSlayer
Thank you for this chapter! It does a good job displaying the chaos of massed combat
DominusIgnis
I agree with the fight/cool down time length. Dosnt make practical sense. Even if you have martial masters a fight is over within 1 minute or less i would think.
MadGod
I enjoyed this chapter a lot. Keeping the narrator bound to Aalyiah's point of view was a good choice, a battle is supposed to be chaotic, this isn't an RTS where you get a bird's eye view of every detail. She can find out more about what happened afterward. I also liked how you presented her in a realistic way, as a scared young girl having to rise up to the occasion, not some holy protagonist laying the smackdown on some goblin vermin.
DominusIgnis
In our silence, the wind conducts a foreboding tune with the trees acting as the grandest of symphonies.
DominusIgnis
Have to say, small things like this are what make me appreciate you as a writer.
Matt S.
I don't know if she could honestly focus so much on Del's fight while literally being swarmed by small Goblin's, it seems more human to me if she couldn't focus on Del at all after the initial clash, or have a small peak sometime during a lull in Goblins around her. The fight with the Hob may also have been a bit to drawn out in terms of how often she can use a skill with one minute cool down. Otherwise I liked the chapter. Looking forward to see what she's got out of it. :)
fbt
I figured it was because she was in over her head and just trying to stay alive till he could come kill the hob...plus concern, ofc.
Loyal Patreon follower
honestly great , it felt a little weird when she focused on dels fight in the middle of the battle thought.
Imef
Chapter Text repeats itself after the first author notes. Also noticed the following mistakes: - on Master Del who's -> whose - verses -> versus - side than maybe -> side then maybe Using Grammarly on the text should identify most such issues.
Tera
Not sure if it's only me, but you posted the here chapter twice Thank you for the chapter!!
Ilya Hamisoniya
I think you are interpolating from real world, it can't be applied here fully otherwise people with 4 tier and 5 tier wouldn't be so sought after. First of all our mc has higher level than horned goblin and you know monsters don't have skill levels comparable in the same level, and add to that the fact they are young compared to her, add to that they are not so intelligent compared to human, they skills level is probably like 20-30 level villager or something. So she trained like madman her whole life but she never pushed herself to the limit.This power up is pretty justifiable because our mc has 66 skill in running and 40 double step and skills seems like tend to level up when 1)you have high related skills 2)you really push yourself make something impossible prior 3)talent or something. And heavy blow(temporary name for her skill to improve her ax attack) does not shown as something overpowered, it barely made the difference, what made the difference was her speed she practiced her whole life, mental resistance(tier 4 skill) and mana skin(4 tier skill).
Ilya Hamisoniya
What does double step do exactly? Does it let her make one step with power of two steps? Or maybe it makes her make one step and another step just before her legs fly off instead of one step => leg fly off => second step?
D
I liked the fighting scenes, they are well done. One might say its a bit unrealistic that she did all the thinking in the fight, but its not like this is DB where she and her opponent had a long chat during the exchange. In the first place, it didnt have to be ultra realistic to be entertaining, and that it was. The fact that her skills rose during combat while she pressed herselfe to go faster then ever was a nice hint at the mechanics of skill advancement. As harder you go, as easier the skill rises. Feelt less d.e.m than many others, as it was shouldered to the fact of the mechanics how the system works. You should maybe point out in the future chapters how the skills of others have risen too, to underline the fact that a live and death battle, where you have to give your all, activates these functions in the system. Id liked to have a chapter right after this so i could read what happened afterward, allas, thats not how it works. Realy liked what ive read, pls keep up the good work. :)
Max R
I guess I’m alone in thinking this was absolutely the worst written chapter to date?
m2wester
I generally liked the chapter. I don't think you should change the perspective within the fight, I think it would be a better idea to add other perspectives through conversations in the next chapter. The things that felt off to me are that apparently the villagers were able to deal with most of the goblins after having lost their formation - this might be her misinterpreting the situation though. Also, the timer for her new skill is very long, she shouldnt be able to use it more than twice, at a stretch three times. A boxing round is 3 minutes, a duel shouldn't take much longer, and she was already fighting for a bit by the time she got the skill.
Random Information
Where are the goblins getting weapons and armor from - including enchanted armor? They are only supposed to be a few years old maximum. You made them far too strong for a small group of novice-fighter villagers. Also I hate individual fights in the middle of a battle, as if there was nobody else around. That's how cinematic battles are shown these days, but it is still stupid.
DNAjester
You pasted the chapter twice
tibbish
All this is very much IMO: I think the '30,000 ft view' perspective of the fight was solid and felt realistic both from a tactical stand point at the start and how things devolved over time. The individual fight that the MC had against the horned hob felt like it was unrealistic and contrived to me though. The degree of thinking and internal dialog felt way over done to me (there is virtually no time to think at all in a fight!!! In particular against someone who is stronger or faster than you are!!!!!!!!!! (realistically if you're in a fight against someone stronger AND faster you're going to lose unless you're lots more skilled than they are which the MC wasn't)). The MC getting a skill at seemingly juuuuuust the right moment + passing out at the end of the fight are the parts that felt heavily contrived to me. Her getting the skill also felt irrelevant as well since she was able to use her already existing skills to better effect to beat it and so her usage of the new skill she got was unneeded overkill. If you want to pit the MC against opponents who are some combo of stronger, faster, more skilled (or all the above) I think you have to do some more character or plot development to allow her to either have the skills, tools, or allies to realistically (I really mean believably BTW) have a shot against such foes. That of course can have its own issues (power creep or the tired trope of the hyper competent OP hero) but getting the balance right, while tricky, will allow you to create a good story without any of the other typical issues found with litRPG (plot armor, ~~incredible~~ coincidences that power up the MC to absurd degrees, lotsa retconns, breaking various plot devices, etc etc etc). If its looking too difficult to pull that off than I'd just focus on letting the character grow and be a better smith/crafter. That part of the story has so far been pretty good and was what got me (and others) to be patrons for you after all so don't go looking down on that part of the story/character!!
Robert Mullins
I don't think she went in on purpose.
fbt
I thought it was unusually well written as fights go; very plausible and "scary for the new people". A few wrong words (e.g. raze vs raise), but I'll have to reread it to catch them all.
Mutabulis
chapter was great only problem I had with it: fight was going poorly.... formation broken, swarms of goblins... she stops to kill that last hob and passes out, saying she thinks that they won, it was a little bit of a mental jar, imagining a losing battle, and all the time she was fighting, no updates on the rest of the battle, and she passes out with a "Ok, Del can handle the rest"
Bunny Waffles
That trend feels oddly familiar to me, mainly because in the Exalted game I've been playing I have had yet to have a fight that I went into that didnt end in one of two ways, either with me getting knocked out during the final round of combat or getting knocked out right AFTER combat, usually due to wounds taken from the fight or some environmental condition that I fail to resist and are incapacitated by immediately after.
Pyrefiend
I thought the fight was good. The only thing that seemed off was when she watched Del fight for a minute or two, when she should have been busy fighting at the front herself.
Sanairb
Isnt this the 3rd time a combat scene had ended with her passing out? I hope this doesnt continue. It's getting to be extremely common with authors in this genre as a way to end a scene. Other than that, I really liked the chapter.
Sanairb
Yeah seems like a super long cooldown for a combat skill. Fights dont last as long as you'd think. People dont have the stamina for it. When you fight you burn much more energy than you would even while exercising vigorously because you aren't breathing or moving efficiently. It's even worse for someone who doesnt know how to fight. If you look at professional boxers, people who are in amazing shape and run all the time, they have to take breaks every few minutes. Even with the enhanced endurance of your mc's stats she wouldn't be able to fight for very long since she is fighting against someone who also has enhanced stats.
Nodlehs
Thanks for the chapter, come editing needed but it flowed well and combat was well done.
Solarlancer
the battle was good, it reminded me a little of azarinth healer fights and those are amazing. i think its fairly normal that your word count is increasing as you are growing as a writer and at one point you will find your comfort zone. i liked the double step moment i thought it was amazing, her fears felt real and well done, her relief after her victory was satisfying i wish to ow what others will say about that. her desperation while trying to find a way to beat the horned goblin was incredible. Now i can wait to see her full status after this. It might be good to give us a short summary of the fight, maybe she ask somebody about what happened or someone tells her what happened. and finally at the end you are amazing!!!
Stephen Pearson
Thanks for feeding my addiction mid-release-week! Looking forward to her new and upgraded skillz:-)
Stephen Pearson
If you did go alternate POV for the fanservice / explanation of how awesome it was from a normal villager, you might want to go with one of those who gave her a hard time realizing how easy she went on them, how poorly they acted, and how many folks she saved by stepping up. Alternately the big hunter, her dad, or Del. Of course, any of those could still be done via conversation with her POV intact as well, if you're so inclined.
Stephen Pearson
Going oldschool with the Deed of Paksenarrion reference! Nice, and high praise:-) And Sheepfarmer's Daughter was definitely the best written of the trilogy, too.
Andrew Haynes
Thanks for the chapter. I'm looking forward to seeing what kind of Blink or Teleport skill she got.
Miriduriel
Liked the battle and loved the added detail on how they managed to traverse the forest while in formation :D
The Cur4t0r
I really enjoyed this chapter. Honestly everything from the overall battle to the fight at the end was clear and easy to follow. I think it was perfectly fine to keep to a single-person pov for the entirety of this chapter. It helped to keep the flow of events to move without interruption.
kataklyst
You might consider creating a Google Doc for each chapter and including a link with suggestions enabled. That would make it easier for readers that want to suggest spelling corrections to do it as they go.
Alex C
64 seconds is quite a long time. Going all out a fight might only last two or three minutes. If she used it several times that's quite a long fight balanced so closely between the two.
Andrew
Thank you!
Cobbly
Will this eventually turn into a book?
longer chapters are always better, keep packing more details into every chapter and see where it leads!
Mike G.
Great chapter, thanks! The first fight vibe made me think of Moon's _Sheepfarmer's Daughter_, and that's a very good thing!
Johann Franz
Feels a little awkward that she goes into soul space during a battle. Even if her body is hurting and not responding it's still better to go back and try at least. This way it seems like she gave up on life already and that isn't really in character with her previous actions.
Ungrave
I liked the first person perspective since I don't think anyone can ever really understand a battle if they watch it from the third person. The best experience is to see it from one perspective and then have the others give the rundown as to how the whole thing played out. Thanks for the chapter! (I'm happy to see more soul skill stuff)
Keith
Thanks for the chapter. I thought the action was good in first person.
Osprey36
If you want to make some sort of recap of the fight for the next chapter, I would recommend it being maybe a small aside mentioning what happened after the fact, either Aaliyah asking about it or someone saying it to her. It's also possible to make it an outsider's POV or thoughts, but I don't know if you want to just stick with your mc. Also I gotta say I really enjoyed this chapter and I eagerly await the next one. Keep it up
NorkNork
"The hob managed to stop masters strike..'' ----> master's
Robert Mullins
I think the fight scenes as written work well and you don't need additional POV characters or third person perspective. It's my personal preference though.
Richard Davis ll
Thanks for the chapter, I enjoyed very very much!
Kosnik4
Please post corrections here.
