Magic_Smithing
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Ch 97.1
🕑 Added 2021-04-23 01:23:22 +0000 UTCGiovanni Turrini’s Point of View:
“Here you go, Boss,” Marshall sets down yet another stack of documents.
“Is this all of them?” I motion to the four stacks of parchment covering my desk.
Marshall shakes his head, “This is only the last eight months. Grey’s activity increased significantly over the last year.”
“He’s been this active??” I ask, starting to feel the fatigue catching up to me. Opening my desk drawer, I take another swig of the bitter stamina tonic I have hidden there.
Marshall watches me place the now almost empty vial back into my desk with a worried expression on his face. "Sir, I think you should rest. You can't keep this up on tonics alone. We've been working all night, and the sun has been up for nearly an hour now."
"I'm fine," I try to reassure Marshall, but his frown just deepens. I don't have time to argue with him, so I ignore his looks of concern. "Which of these are his most recent deals?”
"The stack on your left," Marshall points out to me. "But all of those reports were submitted before we were cut off from Drey.”
“We don’t have anything more current?”
“Just the reports from One and Elizabeth,” Marshall tells me.
“Was One able to recover anything from the fire? What about Elizabeth? How is she doing?”
"Nothing of value," Marshall hangs his head. "The explosion destroyed all of Grey's records, and the subsequent fire torched most of the other documents kept in the building. In regards to Elizabeth, One is periodically checking in on her while also hunting down as many of Grey’s men as she can. Like you, she refuses to sleep until she has had her revenge.”
“Is that wrong?” I send a challenging glare at Marshall.
“No, it isn’t,” he responds with a straight face. “But when you crash from constantly sipping stamina tonics, you’ll be out for much longer than if you just took a quick nap.”
“How can I take a nap when Grey is still out there?” I clench my fists in frustration.
“Two and Four are in pursuit,” Marshall reminds me. “Both are good at covering long distances quickly. They should be nearing Drey at any moment. I’ve already debriefed them on the situation, so the two of them can immediately start tracking down Grey and Max.”
“Will the two of them be enough?” I ask Marshall. “I’ve already lost enough people to that conniving bastard.”
“Max has been working for Grey for years now, and if the information we received from Elizabeth was correct, his level is close to my own. In a straight fight, he might be able to hold off Two and Four, but that's not how they hunt. The outcome will be decided the moment they catch up to Grey and Max,” Marshall reassures me.
“As long as they catch up to them,” I cynically remind Marshall.
“It isn’t like you to second guess your men,” Marshall gives me another worried look.
I sigh and bring my hands up to my face, tiredly rubbing around my eyes. It's only been a few minutes since I sipped my stamina tonic, and I can already feel its effects waning. Other than Vitality, I only have a few status points invested in my physical skills. Mentally I can continue, but my body is insisting I stop. I hate to say it out loud but, "We need to be prepared for the possibility Grey might escape. And if that should happen, it’s even more important that we find every person Grey has been colluding with and eliminate them as soon as possible.”
“We’re doing all that we can.”
“Are we?” I hiss in frustration.
“All the numbers are on the move,” Marshall reminds me. “One is handling things in Drey. Two and Four are hunting down Grey. Three is searching around Blaiton for whoever tipped Grey off. Five is moving to Yleles to keep an eye out for any of Grey’s men trying to leave the region. Six is already in Teeburn, and word of the situation should be reaching him soon.”
When was the last time all six of the numbers were mobilized at the same time? One and Four are the most active numbers and prefer always to be working. Two likes to deal with bandit groups, while the other three mostly gather information.
I hate to admit it, but Grey picked the best moment to run. Most of the numbers were tied up around the main office on account of the war. Then he threw everything into chaos with the explosion yesterday, right when we were reestablishing our lines of communication with Drey and Teeburn. It's been challenging to convey orders with the chain of command severed.
Elizabeth was to take over the Drey branch after Grey was killed. But with Elizabeth injured and Grey on the run, not to mention Drey’s branch nearly burning down, none of my people in the city know who they should be reporting to.
Elizabeth was also in charge of keeping in contact with Six. The magic tool’s signal can’t reach Teeburn, meaning Six won’t know what’s going on until he gets a physical letter by way of a messenger bird. Not that he probably won’t hear of what happened before our letter reaches him.
Both Pacore and Lord Bullok have already responded to our letters and assured me every Scholl soldier would be on the lookout for Grey and his bodyguard. And judging by how fast we received a reply, I can only assume they used their mages to send their response. Casting a message spell over long distances uses a lot of mana, and few mages outside militaries are practiced in such magic. And I’ve been told commanders are hesitant to have their mages commit to sending such messages because of the mana cost and that they run the risk of something important happening and being unable to send further messages.
Unless perhaps Lord Bullok has a magic item similar to my own?
“Uggg," I groan and rub my head. My mind is drifting. I need to stay on target.
The point is, word of Grey is spreading rapidly. If Six is doing his job, he'll have heard about what happened and will be on the lookout for Grey. And hopefully, along with Two and Four, the three numbers will be able to box Grey in.
“Boss,” Marshall calls out to me. I lower my hands from my temples and look at my concerned friend. “We’re receiving a communication,” he points over to a small desk up against the wall.
My office is locked down for the moment, with only Marshall and myself able to leave or enter. I moved the communication magic tool off to the side so Marshall could use it while I sort through documents. “Is it Two and Four reporting in?” I ask.
Marshall moves over and checks to see who’s calling. His eyes widen in surprise when he sees which gemstone is flashing. “Boss, it’s Aaliyah again,” he tells me.
"Aaliyah?" I repeat. I'm just as surprised as Marshall. Oh gods, was she not able to break her contract with Grey!?
I push back from my desk and jump up from my chair, intending to join Marshall by the communicator. In hindsight, the sudden movement was a bad idea. My legs buckle underneath me from sitting too long. Thankfully, I catch myself on my desk before I fall to the floor and worry Marshall further. But my friend noticed that I almost took a tumble and moves over to support me. “Let me help you,” he offers me his shoulder.
“Thanks,” I give Marshall a half-hearted smile as he helps me over to the magic item. Marshall activates the device with his right arm while keeping me stable with his left. “Hello, Aaliyah?” I ask into the magic tool with all the professionalism I can muster at the moment.
"Morning Giovanni," Aaliyah’s perky voice catches me off guard. With how happy she sounds, it's safe to assume Aaliyah isn't calling to tell me she failed to break her contract with Grey.
“I wasn’t expecting to hear from you so soon. Is everything ok?”
“More than ok,” I can feel the excitement in Aaliyah’s voice. “I’m pretty sure Grey is dead.”
And like that, my world stops for a moment. My legs give out on me, and Marshall has to help me to the floor. "Can… can you repeat that?" I ask in a distant voice. I feel myself trembling, waiting for her response.
"I'm not 100% sure that he's dead," Aaliyah's clarification leaves me speechless. Bringing my hand up to my chest, I try to calm my beating heart. My jaw quivers as I try to ask Aaliyah the myriad of questions plaguing my mind, but my tongue refuses to work.
Marshall sees that I’m having trouble responding and asks what I cannot. “Please explain!”
“What, who is?” Aaliyah is caught off-guard by Marshall’s raised voice. But she quickly catches herself, “Oh, you're Giovanni's man. Sorry, you didn't say anything yesterday, and I forgot you were probably listening in."
“It’s fine. Please explain why you think Grey is dead,” Marshall quickly brushes off Aaliyah’s apology and pleads for her to explain herself.
The two of us hear Aaliyah take a deep breath on the other end of the magic tools. She must be collecting her thoughts.
“I was experimenting and tried a different way of terminating Grey’s contract,” Aaliyah begins to explain in an almost cold voice.
“Why would you do that?” My hoarse voice slipping through my lips unintentionally.
"I thought it would be more painful for him," Aaliyah answers in her calm, cold voice.
“Then he suffered?” I nervously swallow back a lump in my throat.
“Verry much so,” Aaliyah reassures me. “Anyway, after I terminated our contract, I received some experience points.”
“You leveled a skill?” Marshall guesses.
“No,” Aaliyah’s flat reply sends a shiver down both our spines. “I’m positive the experience wasn’t from leveling a skill. It was late at night, and I sure as hell wasn’t crafting anything either. That only leaves one explanation for why I would get any experience.”
My office is silent as Aaliyah takes a dramatic pause. Marshall and I wait with bated breath for her to continue. And when she does, it's like a lightning spell strikes us.
"I had to have killed something; that's the only explanation I can think of," Aaliyah confidently tells us.
“That makes sense,” Marshall nods along in agreement. “If it isn’t too much to ask, about how much experience did you get?”
There’s another pause from Aaliyah, but right when I think she isn’t going to answer Marshall’s question, she does. “I got about 1,800 experience. But I’ve never experienced something like this before; is 1,800 a lot, or too little?”
Marshall hums in thought. "Grey's level was in the high fifties, maybe low sixties, based on how much experience you gained, I'd say whatever you did to his contract must have incapacitated him. Something else must have killed him, or else you would've gotten more experience."
“Even though I was that far away from him?” Aaliyah questions Marshall.
"The distance might affect it a little bit, but the distance doesn't matter so long as you helped kill him. Think about archers; depending on their stats, the best of them can hit a target a quarter of a mile away, even farther if you factor in skills and magic. The archer may earn less experience if it was a lucky shot, but he'll still be rewarded for the kill," Marshall explains.
"Same applies to a support mage using magic to boost the archer's attack. The mage might not have personally killed the target, but depending on the scale of magic used and how much he could boost the archer’s attack, he’ll still be awarded a varying amount of experience points for his contribution.”
As Marshall explains the nuances of combat experience, I manage to calm down and gather myself to stand back up, though only thanks to Marshall helping me. “So, the two of you believe Grey is dead?” I ask soberly.
“It sounds like it, Boss.”
“Yeah, try not to sound so excited,” Aaliyah’s sarcasm is clearly transmitted through the magic tool.
I should be happy, but for some reason… I’m not.
Grey is dead. It will need to be confirmed by Two and Four, but Aaliyah and Marshall seem convinced. I should be jumping for joy, figuratively speaking, of course, I don't have the energy to walk by myself, let alone jump for any reason. The point is the man who betrayed me is dead, and all I feel is tired and hollow inside.
“Boss?” Marshall gives me a concerned look.
“Is everything ok over there?” Aaliyah picks up on the heavy atmosphere on our end.
“It’s fine,” I tell Aaliyah. “We’re just tired on this end.”
“You should get some rest then.” Aaliyah’s suggestion earns me an ‘I told you so’ look from Marshall.
"I'll get right on that," I let out a sigh and change the topic. "Thanks for taking the time to let us know about Grey. We'll have our people look into the possibility of his death. If something important happens, I'll send word from Drey."
“Does that mean the branches are connected again? I mean, even after the explosion yesterday?” Aaliyah sounds surprised by how quickly we’re recovering.
"The explosion complicated things, but we'll regain control shortly," I downplay the trouble that we're having. Aaliyah is a vital ally to Silver Herd; we can't shake her confidence in us more than this situation already has. “I should be able to send Kervin back to your village in a couple of weeks; is there anything you want or need? Or do you wish for Kervin to wait until the new year before he returns to your village like your contract with Grey stated?”
"I don't think there's much point in waiting," Marshall and I hear Aaliyah scoff on the other end. "The whole point for Kervin not to visit our village was to keep us from getting noticed by Scholl. I'm pretty sure that ship has long since sailed. Tell Kervin he better be ready when he returns to the village; our fields have exploded in size, and I hear a certain kingdom is looking to buy food.”
“I’ll be sure to let him know; anything else?”
“Now that you mention it, I could use some more kaglese ore if you have it.”
Does she not have enough to complete her order? We’ve already started negotiations with Scholl over Aaliyah’s weapons. "I can see what we have, but kaglese comes from a mine close to Olebert's capitol. Since Pacore took over Yleles and the earl's fort, we've been cut off from our normal suppliers. I can scrounge together some ore but not much. How much do you need to complete your order?"
“Oh, I’m already almost done with that,” Aaliyah’s casual remark sends my head spinning. Weapons that can be enchanted take a lot longer to make, and a blacksmith needs to spend time testing the weapon to make sure it fits the bill. Should I ask her if she's sure all her weapons can handle enchantments, or would she consider that rude?
Heedless of what she's saying, Aaliyah continues to brag about her work. "I have forty spears and swords ready, and all I have left is to make more of those special arrows."
“Arrows like the one sold to General Pitz?”
"Yeah, those," Aaliyah cheerfully replies. "In fact, if it will be a few more weeks until Kervin makes it back to the village, I should have them done by then if you want them early?"
Usually, craftsmen ask for an extension to their deadlines, not the opposite. And she’s managed to make eighty kaglese weapons! We should’ve done more to keep her hidden from Scholl. “But you have enough kaglese for the arrows?”
"Oh, yeah, I have enough kaglese for the arrows; I was just wondering if you can get me more so I can make a few more weapons. It's ok if you can't; I know it can't be easy getting kaglese right now."
She sounds so confident; it’s making me feel even more tired. “I’ll see what I can do,” I tell her.
“Thanks. Now I don’t want to be the rude one, but I have a battle junkie probably waiting for me to return to the village.”
“Battle junkie?” Marshall repeats.
“Don’t worry about it,” Aaliyah mumbled voice comes out of the magic tool. “I just have to get back to the village.”
“Then we won’t take up any more of your time,” I politely move to end the conversation. Good thing too, Aaliyah told me a lot of things I need to think over.
“Until next time then,” the communication magic tool goes dark.
“Marshall, can you help me back to my desk?”
“Sure, Boss,” Marshall helps me stager back into my chair. Once I’m seated, Marshall asks me, “What do we do now?”
He must be referring to Grey’s death.
It still doesn't feel real; I have all this anger pent up with no one to direct it at. It's good that Grey is probably dead, but I wanted him to die by my hands. I wanted to be able to tell Elizabeth that it was our numbers who got him when she wakes up. Well, I guess I can still tell her that he’s dead, but it won’t be the same.
“Try to get in contact with Two and Four, let them know about the change in the situation and that they might have to search for a body,” I give Marshall my orders.
“And you, Sir?”
Leaning back in my chair, my eyes start to droop. I don't even want to lift my arms to reach for the remains of my stamina tonic.
What’s the point in me staying up now? The man we were hunting is no longer a threat.
“Boss?” Marshall asks me again after I don’t answer him for a few minutes.
“Wake me up in four hours,” I tell him, letting my eyes close. As soon as they shut, I feel the full weight of my fatigue kick in. I can feel myself slipping into unconsciousness. “Remember, four hours. I’ll fire you if you let me sleep longer than that,” I mumble as I drift off to oblivion.
“Yes, Boss, have a nice nap,” is the last thing I hear before sleep takes me.
**********
Author’s Notes:
3,100 words
Surprise, I’m not dead.
I was just having a bad case of writer's block. I know I should've posted a notice, but I couldn't bring myself to admit it. So, like a big baby, I avoided Patreon and pretended that my problems weren’t real. Spoiler alert, it didn’t help.
I rewrote the opening to this chapter three times before I settled on this. I know the general direction the story is going, but I was drawing a blank as to what would happen in the following few chapters.
I don’t want to keep skipping over entire weeks, but it’s hard to come up with what I almost want to call ‘filler chapters.’ I know another crafting chapter is coming up, but that’s about it.
The reason I split this chapter into two was, so you could have something to read today even though I'm not done with the second half. The second part of the chapter will be out tomorrow, and it will focus on our girl Aaliyah.
Please comment down below on not only this chapter but your ideas on where the story should go in general. I've said it before, but I never expected my story to take off, let alone go for a whole year as it has. I'm running out of ideas at the moment.
Fair warning, I might have to scale back to a chapter every five days, give myself more time to plan things out without dropping down to only four chapters a month.
I hope you understand, and as always, stay safe.
Comments
Emanuel Sla
Falo=talk ( because i use Google tradutor)
Emanuel Sla
I don't Care if you don't post New chapter, but you need falo with us about It.
alex
For a story like this one... that could be a good later goal... minus the steampunk.
Michael Weis
I want a steampunk enchanted ship!
Quintuscus
Please post an update.
thkiw
I want soul weapons. improved crafting. adventuring. THE WORKS!
WalkingPark
Depends. It’s a coin toss if the update will be late, or the ‘sorry not today’ will be late.
Ninetails
At 2 chapters/month, I wouldn't pay at all.
Tim M.
I hope I am not by far to late with writing a comment on this post. When i read the story the day before yesterday i was thinking about what to write as i feel like giving you (the author) to many options might poison her character in the long run. But there are a few things i could suggest for you and or Alliyah. As the author what are the three key scenes where you want to see her. Those epic battles of mystic pictures that come in a dream where you think. I want to be there or damn that's my girl. I would call those you passions and see that you set em on the road. That way if you dont know what comes next you can set her of to her next goal. I feel like that way it's easer to work around a writers block. Furthermore the next steps seem to be more than clear looking at the progression so far. Alliyah is strong even by capital standards but humans and monsters differ strongly. Alliyah got to feel this more than ones first hand. She now has seen how strong a few of the strongest humans on earth are. But i feel like she doesn't understand how far she is beyond them yet. She sees that they are strong but how strong they are is beyond her. She feels like she can get them in a few but in my personal opinion she should't be able to best them in their best discipline anytime soon. She is a blacksmith first and foremost than a badass and than a fighter xD. Meaning that if she bests them it's because of her unique handle on magic and sould magic and because she build damn strong weapons. Ah what was it i wanted to say ? .................... . Ah yes After setting her Village up for safety and then having her celebrations for being a grown up she should go into the forest and potentially find a way to repair her stuff on the road. She could get tips from the weapon junky which probably has a way to care for her equipment. There are so many ideas and i can see how its hard to choose but our girl got many options where to go. The forest would be a good idea as long as she is in the village because it was foreshadowed so long. Then stuff happens xD which would be dependand on where you want to see her go and from there we might be in chapter 2 of her life. Getting to know the mentality of another country. Potentially finding a love interest in a country where the strong are revered and therefore many people try to get stronger instead of richer. Ending this comment i would like to tell you (the author) that the psyche is important and you should care for it. If you have the same problem as me that you feel like there is a knife at the back of you neck everytime you try to set time for yourself aside than just write less or some simple and stupid side story. If you lose your passion as the author or get a psychic breakdown that would be worse than keeping it simple and saying that you need a 2 week break or something similiar. As english isn't a first language of mine and i haven't had the nerve to write these many words in long time in conclusion i would say keep care of yourself and there are many options. The character has so much potential and it feels like the end of the village arc and being reborn in another world is here and we are on our way into the world. Setting out from home the true adventurers passion and story. Learning, loving and losing on the way whilst growing to accomodate her potential. (Damn that was long i hope some of this could help xD)
Dave
Hey guys help me out how many earth days in a Kosnik day so I can figure out when the rest of the chapter will get released?
Timo Immig
Her known goals.- Exploring the world. - Meeting the gods. - Crafting her masterpieces for the ages. - meeting other races. -going to the forest
MihaTigar
I want to see them all.
Cyryl Chołodowski
As Pearson said, there is plenty Aliah can and still has to do while in the village. Her slowly growing to put efforts into figuring out who she wants to be and what she needs to do towards that goal, would be nice character growth. Until now... even if she's been growing in stats and skills, she's kinda been just falling into available paths. Now that - sooner or later - she will leave home, it'd be good for her to think about being more proactive in seeking new possibilities and paths of realising herself. (and she already began doing that to a degree, wanting to explore the forest, but it might be a bit too immediate... In her place I think, I'd seek to learn more about the world, the political scene beyond the border nearby) But. But, but but but... For now, she's in the village, there is no need to hurry into thinking about the broader world, or rushing towards great power and responsibility. There is just so much here to do still... Like... looking back, you already set up a lot of paths here. The forest? What creatures do you expect there, whats their ecology (of the pages of the story, just something to think about to support worldbuilding, we don't need to know the details, but they might help you). Maybe some hints towards a future adventure or conflict (as in, this small adventure being a downscaled version of something she will go through in the future). Maybe she could start finding ways to forge on the road? If she wants to explore the world in the future, she won't be able to regularly come back to a proper forge/home. Her magical talent and exploration of runes, can lead to the creation of a portable smithy.
Stephen Pearson
Heh, you asked for ideas, so here goes! * Make each and every small enchanted item Kervin had provided for her, multiple times * Make some useful magic items for others. Axe for her dad, maybe? Equipment for working stone for better buildings and walls? Maybe a magic street lamp for the town center? * Make multiple types of armor, stretching herself by trying different things each piece. This is something Del really can help a lot with. * She cares for her village and the people there, so why hasn’t she made it more and better? It’s nice that she’s providing equipment, but her influence can have an even bigger impact (and lead to more noble skills). Their town has all the building blocks needed to make it into a more prosperous settlement. * They have an architect in her brother, and strong folks around, time to make some architectural marvels! Del seemed to find enjoyment in helping with some stonework previously; he could help with building better buildings, strong stone walls, etc. Dude seriously needs a hobby beyond sleeping on his bench, and Aliyah should encourage him to do more as someone who cares about him. * Suggest mandatory militia training? Aliyah and other strong members will have to leave soon-ish, and Tabitha is bored out of her skull. Especially, that would be a great opportunity to begin teaching Aliyah tactics and group command. Honestly this feels like something Tabitha should be inclined to push for or even demand. Camden would likely also be roped into learning about leading the militia, which could provide good interpersonal and humorous moments. Between their training and Aliyah’s equipment they’d have the most ridiculously strong militia of any of the podunk villages. * If a militia is trained, a great scene could be finding another group of strong-ish goblins, and having the militia destroy them with no or very few unhealable losses, to show how far they’ve come, and possibly hilight Aliyah’s growth in tactics and noble skills * Train up her dancing; this could even become a village-wide thing especially if there were finally a proper militia, with dance celebrations both for fun and improved movement skills. Force Reel to dance when he's back, for the lols. * Sandra’s wedding to Aliyah’s brother! * She’s coming to understand how useful dancing is - make sure Del learns to dance * Aliyah likes to learn and grow stronger - get over herself and lean into having a dedicated expert who wants nothing more than to accelerate her growth in certain areas. Ask about additional movement skills, and what other sorts of skills capable warriors might have. How to get them, and how to counter them. What sorts of magic items are more and less common or valuable, and why. Some indication that she’s starting to learn about some of the personalities she’ll have to deal with as Pacore’s apprentice - or alternatively a scene learning that Tabitha is oblivious to such things. Could have been started by Aliyah’s mom or Sandra’s mom as they seem more socially savvy. * Reach out to the healer and become real friends; help her become a better healer and move past her previous bottlenecks as well as integrate better into the village and reconcile with her father, even if only in secret so Giovanni’s daughter remains protected. This helps the village long-term, and Aliyah can doubtless learn some things as well - and be available as a backup healer in the village and only healer on expeditions to the forest. Speaking of which… * Explore the deeper forest, probably on an on-going basis; in doing so work on her 6th tier skill as well as search for valuable materials and ingredients. Would be great to gain skills to find and/or evaluate materials in the wild (and in the trading company’s warehouses, naturally:-) * Ask Tabitha to examine her magic items, and discuss (possibly off-screen) desirable enchantments on armor and weapons before ever enchanting her own top-tier weapons, in an effort to avoid using kitchen knife level enchantments on high-level kaglese weapons * Finally ask Sandra what the buyout price is on her learning contract. Either buy it out entirely, or a spell or skill or 2 if you need to keep the power curve from going vertical too quickly. * Learn about what alchemy can be used for. Ask her mom, as they used to supply alchemists. She should have some ideas of the things which can be produced. Either get an alchemist out to train her, or a few of the much-less-sensitive-than-enchanting-ink recipes. Not merely to grow the skill, but for the town and her loved ones. Not to mention Sandra clearly enjoys alchemy also so it’s a fun friend activity. * The celebration where she becomes an official adult Really, there is so much you can do before ever leaving the village; there’s probably very little need for timeskips, at least for a while.
Imspinnennetz
I believe the next step that she will take is adding enchanting to her finished products. I presume that the logical progression after the enchanted equipment is a visit to the magical deep forest to find new reagent for development of new smithing skill (Hopefully a new Tier 4 crafting skills)
yawn
When will she craft more awesome weapons? its been so long since she craft some goodstuff that I forgot the title of this novel is magic smithing,dont get me wrong I liked the story all in all but I picked this up on royal road because Im interested on smithing/crafting novels, and the pacing of her smithing skill is really takes, I mean really takes. I just hope she'll make new amazing items that will showcase her smithing skills her last good item is when she crafted an arrow for the general and its way back chapter 60+.....
wd40bomber7
I think the MC's wish to travel isn't something we should explore immediately. She's a crafter and she needs tools/equipment to craft. There's opportunity in the deep forest? If she could stay for a while longer she could have access to new exotic materials and maybe start enchanting? Another possibility is on to Scholl and a whole new world but that seems like a lot of work to flesh out a brand new setting!
bob barker
The Tomorrow Clock Ticketh
Black Unicorn
SO TRUE!! There's a massive world in this story so far as I've seen and I for one would love to see more of it with Aaliyah. You are a great writer and your making a world in full. That's not an easy thing to do but so far you've done better then some published authors have so take pride in that, but don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
Scott Fellman
It might be time to outline the story with points What's the max level for instance? Does the mc become a god at end game? Following the mcs goal she wants to explore the world. So build an outline of the world you have revealed and decide how much further you can take it. How many more kingdoms or othe type of governing bodies are thier. What about the other gods and thier purpose in the world. How many more ridiculous monsters roam it. Is this world isolated or does it have connections to other worlds. What is magic smithing? Is it just weapons and artifacts. How about carriages, ships, bikes, or planes. How about various tools for working, teaching etc. It appears that most divide this up into steps like the dwarves. She is basically making her own trade by modifying the existing trades and combining them. How does she make it her own. How long does she spend in the military. What wars does she face in that time. Does she develop affection for her new country. What about titles and land does she develop her territory while using her abilities if she gets one. Does she find a love interest. If so male female both harem no harems there is plenty of story in just this if you developed the romance portion. If you don't see an endgame Pic any point and give it a length of time. Set an enemy be it physical or achievement based. Set road blocks and determin if they over come them if if it causes a change in character or perspective. Our mc is young and has much to do. Based on the title I would make the major focus being her craft. But it's OK to side track it with threats of war. Mosters etc. Also every path needs to seek out new experiences to enrich her creativity. There is no filler chapters, this isn't a shojo anime. Every interaction we gleam more into our characters. Every moment the mc has in writing let's us see the world outside the village. This world feels massive and we have only seen about a modern day cities worth of it. Don't belittle yourself for you are crafting this world. Allow it to flourish.
Scott Fellman
It might be time to outline the whole story with points.
Alteron
Almost heaven, West Virginia Blue Ridge Mountain, Shanandoa River Life is old there, older than the trees Younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze Country roads, take me home To the place I belong............. Aalyiah could go to explore the magic dense portions of the forest, discover old ruins, lost paths, hiddens runes. She also have the whole magic enchanting to work at, will she make fridges, a telegraph, a steam machine running on magic. Coming of age ceremony, will she betold of the past, given hidden secrets to leveling or will it upgrade her status. In traveling to Scholl she is traveling with a Pillar of Scholl, im guessing that any threath that the local people can't take care of, they will have to take care of. When they finaly arrive there will be powerplays in court.
I like this suggestion, it's pretty darned good. However, I would suggest that the ceremony is important. There's no way that Pacore can take MC from her villige before that (I think it's in the contract) but afterwards, she's fair game. That would be a good point for a mood shift in the story, or perhaps just the point where Kosnic could stop writing chapters he felt were fillers. One other thing I would say that the above post has pretty much stated is that time skips are fine. As he said, we want to see the important stuff, and even skipping a month or two is great if it lets us see more of it.
Michael son of Jacob
The best advice I can give you is to not treat any chapter like filler. Have it all be important. The adult ceremony, is it important? Maybe to her, but to her growth or to the story? Probably not. Maybe there's only one interaction that will be. Then have a short snippet from the party containing just that one interaction. Have all scenes you write be important. Hunting with Tabitha: skip the drudgery, only include the exciting or fascinating bits. Forging arrows: nothing new? Then include the exciting part, i.e. enchanting the arrows. Training with Tabitha: only include insightful failures or meaningful successes. HeartfulDoozer's list is great. Go through it and think, "Which of these contain scenes that are important and exciting to the story, but also to me as the author?" Then only write those scenes, and imply or summarise the rest (if it'll feel weird not to). Even pirateaba's chapters don't really have filler, since each scene is important in making us feel something even in the most slice-of-lifey chapters. She then builds on those for her more intense chapters. If your slice-of-life doesn't make us feel anything, then why write it? Only write the part of the scene which carries emotional impact, or is cool or exciting. Pack as much cool stuff as you can into each chapter. If you need to skip time to do that, then skip time! We welcome it. Readers want to feel. For example, we know every morning in The Wandering Inn Erin cooks food. Are we shown that every morning? No. We see the interesting thing instead. Sometimes we see her cook, but only when it's exciting. Translating that to your story, we don't need to see her running, forging, training, practicing, mining, showing off her new abilities, arguing with parents or friends, etc. unless something cool happens that makes us feel. Perhaps this part is idiosyncratic, but there's nothing more boring to me than suffering through character drama that in the end doesn't amount to anything, and doesn't make me feel much of anything because it's just plain, shallow immaturity. Our MC has a lot of these moments right now, and they bog down the story a tonne. Especially since we know the same arguments are going to be repeated, or alluded to, or referenced time and time again. The agreement with her mother was a nice step forwards, but it didn't amount to much since it's still a source of drama between them. She still has to report to her mum. It would have been more impactful if their conflict and resolution came much more quickly, resolved, and served as the foundation for something more. Probably a few days after she first revealed she was higher level than them. So in summary, focus on the fun, cool, exciting, emotionally impactful, and important bits. Write those. The rest we can imagine ourselves when implied or summarised. This will help the story proceed much more quickly, and keep both you and readers excited.
Sam Castilow
Here's a fun consideration scholl will soon have a new king. One who is unmarried and could have a miriad of personality or personal issues. Alliyah's only backer in scholl is a big supporter maybe to a fault or maybe one of a few. Alliyah is also in freshly conquered territory outside the normal patrol range of scholl maybe some soldiers turned rogue during the withdraw of olebert from the city will try to get some loot in the name of resistance. However that is for the future maybe. Currently I am eager to witness her blowing herself up while attempting enchanting for the first time.
Imspinnennetz
I think directly fixing Del's ability to use magic would be a step too far in changing Del's personality. A far more interesting point is if she develops a way to use magicite as fuel to allow Del to use magic through gloves.
Jachin Nelson
Aaliyah being able to generate telekinetically controlled weapons would be super cool.
a lee
on the dragon maybe she can negotiate with it workout a deal
Giperman
Really like your story. As for the ideas: Well, continuation of leveling her skills to Tier 5 Crafting skill with some advanced mechanics Tier 6 Crafting skill With defining laws of reality or something (kind of like most weapons if Fate universe with concepts like barrier to block ANY ranged attack). High Tiered Movement skills, them evolving in some kind of primitive space magic. Her use magic without chant after she'll max out her basic mana skills. Vision skills? (She can see invisible objects already might as well make it into a skill) Scholl capital adventures. You COULD sprinkle some romance into the story, but it's up to you to decide with whom you want Aaliyah to end up. Most people would be fine with any choice you'll made myself included. Monster slaying. A lot of monster slaying. Even more monster slaying. Dragon slaying with Pacore's and General Emily Pitz's cooperation. Aaliyah doing more stupid shit. Visiting Stone Kin country. Visiting Elven country(Are there Elves in this universe?) Some special skill for reaching level 100? 150? 200? Metal bending/shaping skill. Body reinforcement using mana. Using runes in air as magic might be cool. Aaliyah flying on small juvenile dragon that she got from big dragon.
fuble878
She doesn't have a perfect memory of the specifics that can be useful. Maybe for passing her soul manip she will improve on her ability to see her old memories so she can remember about the specifics for making aluminum
Bookman
a couple more time skips. Crafting is the focus but it having her crafting cheap weapons and gear would be like reading about Jake from "The Primal Hunter" hunt trash monster far below his level. There is no challenge in it, it doesn't help grow the character and is generally boring. On the other hand a chapter of pacore doing some him vs his 2 students fights would be nice. Our dear MC challenging herself with crafting something new is also good. Many have already pointed it out. But we need to see more of the World. You hinted a lot at it and now we are starving for some substance. you need some chapters of her leaving the village (with or without her family) Her family needs to meet pacore. From the way her mother is portrayed, i dont think she would just hide and let our MC handle it. A chapter about arriving at scholl.... Pacore would definitely need to introduce her to the royal court. Either official and / or unofficial. The King would want to know who the new student is , that his highest pillar picked up. Pacore off course also needs to tell the king that his level is now known. From the way the character of Parcore is shown so far, I would give it 9/10 chance that he will show off our MC to the other Pillars. Our MC needs to get her first Feather. (Level 80 was it?) Challenging her craft should do that in a couple weeks. The youngest to receive a feather since a long time would definitely put her on the top list of Bachelores. Would be fun to see her reaction to others courting her and how she deals with it. From here the story can take of in many different directions. There should be more Kingdoms or Empires around. Who are they and what are their goals, specialists and their strength and weakness? The Author of "Forge of Destiny" Writes World chapter from time to time. They read like a report about a particular place. Sometimes written from the perspective of a spy master and sometimes writer of the perspective of a Historian. This helps a lot with world Building without the need to dump the info into the Main Character. It would definitely be interesting what a spy master from another nation writes about the scholl invasion. ---------------------- Going to the 5 days shuedle is a good thing. You clearly struggle with 3,5 days limit of before, so the 1,5 additional day should help you out a lot. I would however encourage you to not stop writing like some others did. From personal experience, as well as watching other Authors. Once you fully stop writing, its nearly impossible to pick up again. The Fear of failure and not being able to keep up is so great is paralyzes you. So go to your 5 day shuedle. See how it works out. If you need more time then increase the time. But from the past months, i think 4 -5 days is what you really need to write a chapter. IF you need some more ideas, we will always be here. Just ask. Keep up the good work. With high regards Bookman
Desurtfawks
You know for someone who is reincarnated from Earth, our girl is kinda not really bringing anything from her home to the situation, rather she is kinda living as someone who belongs to that world might. I'm interested and waiting though for her to start enchanting stuff so she can pop off with the cool stuff already. Anyway, with both the main antags established are now dead/on her side as mentor we've run out of baddies. I would fast track any part of your planned story to introduce the next villain for the following arc ASAP.
ActionKermit
Goal: kill the dragon :-P Scholl needs more dakka. Aalyiah is in a position to make more dakka. With enough dakka, the war with Olibert will end. Sounds like a win/win.
Timo Immig
There can be different kinds of nobles. Territory Administrators, titled nobles, etc.
crusaderstar
Definitely tend to your mental health first! It is a struggle. On where the story can go, generally stories need an mc to have a desire, and there be something thwarting that, thus causing conflict. Aaliyah wants to be a badass magical smith, which is a cool aspiration and a great strength of your story. However right now what that means and where that would take her is very vague. One way to fix that is have more legends about artifacts. Have pacore have some ancient treasure of Scholl that she wants to make. Mention more epic smiths! Have a distant smith tournament she wants to go to. I think your world could use more history in general, but here's a specific place it'd be useful, showing her concrete stuff to aspire to. When her goals are more specific, it'll be easier to throw up obstacles driving the story I think. A rival smith! A love interest who might want to use her for her power! Etc. Another thing is there's no one she really cares about outside the village, so she'd never be moved to leave or fight for their sake. Have del razen be summoned as a witness to an old murder in stone land so she has to go there! Make her care about other chars who are more mobile so they could get into trouble and need her help. It's been a fun story, it is weird to be trapped by success. Especially in patreon where people are here for one story in particular and if you start a new one you can't be sure if they'll stay. Good luck!
Timo Immig
-making/modifying a peronal carriage with suspensions and dampeners -creating her own house as she will be a noble as soon as she meets the king -meeting Tarrow
Timo Immig
Griphon like animal as a horse. Because soul magic and carriges suck.
Timo Immig
She could become an Ambassador which would allow her to travel more freely.
Timo Immig
She still needs more blueprints for engraving. An appraisal session of her weapons would be interesting and the reaction of Gio and Pacore.
Timo Immig
She can be sent to inspect the dragons level etc.
ShadeByTheSea
Personally I'm fine with "skipping over entire weeks" maybe just post a training montage for the timeskip. Jumping between notable training moments.
Emma Carlin
I think it wouldn't be unreasonable to put more time skips into the next coming chapters. Besides enchanting while she waits to go to Schroll I don't think there's much new things left for her in the village. I also think things as far as the war & trade deals she's involved with are wrapping up in a sense. A travel arc would be cool. By then she'd have a bit more fighting ability from training with Tabitha and could get some experience fighting monsters then. Add in at least one other traveling companion (from the village or another Schroll apprentice) as our MC travels to some city and you have an adventuring party. Lots of fun stuff she could do while traveling. I think you've done a great job of making her home village important and not just a generic backstory but she needs to stretch her legs in the wider world.
Goldarch
A couple inventions ideas: 1. Brandy had the idea of a glider, being invented. I don't think it would work that well for the world as a whole, but Aaliyah has her Airwalk skill... meaning she could get up to the elevation she needs and then just fly away! Best part is, if she has any trouble she can stop herself from crashing hard with a few airwalk steps down. It would be really cool if she could do a foldable glider, so she could carry it around after landing. The Avatar style glider probably wouldn't work because he needed air bending, but maybe some other style. Enchanting could help as well. 2. Cap'n No Pants mentions the potential of a mana "battery" that Aaliyah could extract mana from to fuel her spell skill growth and general usage. Combine that with the mana accumulator that she needs to get / reverse engineer, and she could have thousands of mana at her beck and call.
Goldarch
A glider is an amazing idea! I don't think it would work that well for the world as a whole, but Aaliyah has her Airwalk skill... meaning she could get up to the elevation she needs and then just fly away! Best part is, if she has any trouble she can stop herself from crashing hard with a few airwalk steps down. It would be really cool if she could do a foldable glider, so she could carry it around after landing. The Avatar style glider probably wouldn't work because he needed air bending, but maybe some other style. Enchanting could help as well.
D
About idears for the story: - keeping combat as a second fiddle sounds fine to me, but also have her advantures. maybe focused on getting new rare materials for crafting and smithing? - more involvement into the world, or at least sholl through her new 'master' and her trying to stay as independent as she can as others try to bind her to them? the drama from those things is always kinda spicy as long as it is keept in moderation. - inventions: being a smith and enchanter + low level alchemist has its perks and you could use that to get her more involved into the world / worldbuilding. for example: -- geovani is still using parchment, meaning books and all kind of written stuff is expansive. the invention of paper would be huge. -- ink press for mass production of books / newspaper -- communication lines to connect the citys like the old telegraph stations. currently all of that is in the hand of the super rich or nobles, letting people communicate with each other over wast distances gives a boost to people personal wellfare and also allows merchants to grasp orders over distances, giving economy a boost. -- after building a communication network, build a newpaper network with geovani. not only does it give money, geovani gets a better spy network. x)) -- trains for mass transport of goods and people? now that amount of metal is a huge smithing project. x) romance: well she already spoke of a disney romance with a prince and as we heard, there is a prince her age? if he is a genius of is own and in his own respective field, they might even click. i mean the girl clearly cant have a 'normal' person at her side, she just casts to much of a shadow. dragon: find a way to kill the dragon - maybe build a dragon killing armament?
Dantalia
Man I feel like if you need to take a break from writing to pull out some creativity then just do that. now I don't mean to be mean or anything like that, But it hurts not just the readers but also yourself having you promise chapters but not getting them out on time. The time frame you give yourself sometimes feels like its eating away at you right? well I know 2 things you can do about that probbly not the best thing to do tho. 1. take away the time frame you give yourself and rest for a bit. however never forget it or run away from what you where going to be doing. (you NEED to come back to what ever it was that you where doing or you will NEVER go back to it.) 2. Keep forcing the time frame on yourself until. A. you burn yourself out. B. you can actually cope with it(very unlikely when writing or any thing that has to do with creative activities). that is about all I can suggest for you man.
McJanjo
A cool idea would be if Aaliyah tries to fix her masters manaless affliction. If that is even possible. She colud level up her Soul skills a buch and try to go in her master's mindscape and eliminate the issue or talk to the third eye/god that er master has.
conkerer
I'd totally love a Camden perspective of what's happening in general, or that healer mage ripoff, haven't heard from her in a while, would love to see how she feels about where Aaliyah ended up.
Aclys
This is a good list. Could also explore: -What about a certain captive general? Should she manage to slip the cuffs but be limited without anything more than a bare basic bow and arrows and assorted gear she might make a fair foil for stalking Aaliyah and Tabitha, she might be reluctant to do it of course but she knows enough to know the girl will give Schol a tremendous advantage in the future. -What about the local kingdom in general? While the sheer forces dedicated to Schol's advances no doubt have much to do with it, the kingdom's response to the invasion has been almost passive to the point where it almost seems like the lands and nobles conquered have been all but abandoned for some greater scheme, will them learning what they have lost change things? Will the general-ranger turn rogue after getting exposed to the uggly underbelly of her kingdom on her return... Or will the trade be refused outright due to political skullduggery? Lots of ways things can turn here. -While it is perhaps a touch early yet, should the dwarven interests get wind of rumors that a human apprentice to one of their outcasts has been making superior-for-enchanting weapons and other gear they may well take a keen interest in assuring that no dwarven trade secrets have been taught to those who should not have them, be that the master managing to somehow leave dwarven lands knowing more than he should and/or the apprentice getting taught stuff not fit for humans. Of course its not like they have to be hostile on the outset, could be anything from: "Oi, long time no hearing from ye ya useless good for nothing... So we heard you did something right and the lads thought we would come see what's wrong with ye?" To dwarven kin more concerned that they may have mistreated someone with potential than angry about what he may have done while off on his own. -Going to second various suggestions given for character developments and interactions, seeing how people like Kervin or those from the village itself react to the latest developments, especially if Kervin or Pacore gets wind of Aaliyah getting Gray killed via contract shenanigans as well as maybe seeing the assorted eligible men around the village realize that while this will be Aaliyah's first time having the new year's party as an adult, it'll also likely be their last chance to court her or at least let her know how they may feel. Not that they've really made obvious overtures towards romance so far... but these things do tend to simmer under the surface sometimes, especially from the perspective of Aaliyah who's radar on that front seems like it might be more oblivious than most. Above all, stay healthy, slow down while ya need to but please do let us know how you are doing and remember, a few filler chapters or interludes doesn't have to be a bad thing as long as we get to learn new things about the world or the characters in it.
Tarodan
Most of the story ideas I could come up with have already been mentioned, so I thought I would ask a question and share a bit of writing wisdom other authors have talked about on their patreons. Even if it doesn't work for you, maybe it'll help you find what will? Do you have any other story ideas in your head? Or maybe another genre you think might be fun to try out? Mecanimus once said on patreon that sitting down to write isn't the time constraint, coming up with good ideas is. Rhaegar, the author for Azarinth Healer, (Which is coming up on chapter 700 soon!) has talked about how sometimes he feels stuck when writing Azarinth Healer. Not writers block, per say, as he's a monster at pumping out chapters, but more about how far the story has come since his original idea. About how he likes the direction it's gone, but it is no longer the story he originally wanted to write. Both these authors found that starting a small pleasure project helped get their creativity flowing again. Nothing on a schedule, nothing to force a chapter over, nothing with a commitment, just writing something they enjoyed. Heck, Rhaegar dropped his first side story after 20-25 chapters just because he wasn't really vibing with it anymore. After a month or two, he's started a new one that's on chapter 5 or 6. One last idea, one that I personally wouldn't mind, but other people might. Mecanimus, for his highest patreon tier, doesn't follow a release schedule. His earlier tiers are X amount of chapters ahead of Royal Road, and see a release once a week just like the site. But his highest tier is just "read them as I write them," and fluxuates. Sometimes we get a chapter in 3 days, sometimes we get a chapter in 12. Overall, it averages a chapter every 5-7 days. I know a lot of people on patreon appreciate a schedule, and a lot of creative types struggle without deadlines. I know from my own depression (and general laziness on the best of days) that self motivating of any kind is a miracle. I just thought I'd pitch the idea. This is one of my favourite stories on royal road. If you feel you need to slow down, go for it. I feel there has to be some value in taking your time, right? Us on patreon may get impatient or antsy waiting chapter to chapter, but there will be people reading this in the future. So don't forget about making a great story for your future patrons as well.
Diego Morales-Heyser
Remember the focus of your attention determines your reality. Focus on the positives. I do my best to make a mental list of all the thing s I’m thankful of before bed and wakeing up and you would be surprised at the change( iv suffered from depression or blocks not writers block but life blocks) and the simple reminder of all the wonderful people, things and places around a me has made me happier. G
Bricyn Abel
Another excellent chapter, much appreciation. As for suggestions for direction I can see several possibilities just based on the story and world you've shown thus far: - There's clearly a dragon to chase off or kill - A visit to her master's people to learn more crafting - A visit to the other kingdom for training - - Obvious plug for DBZ training ark - More trading opportunities - Monster Attacks? - Diplomacy? - Enchanting, obviously. And most importantly: Whatever you think is best, it's your story write it how you want and tell anyone who says otherwise they can jump off a cliff. If we have to wait, we can wait. It's more important that you tell the story you want to tell or you will get tired of it.
Blake Richardson
Thanks for the chapter and I’m glad you aren’t dead
bob barker
it sounds like you can take a long break and do a massive brainstorm in your spare time, while enjoying an adventurous vacation.
HardhatDoozer
I’ll admit I was a little scared when you didn’t even comment on your last post. So saying something as a comment here or on discord is reassuring. I think every 5 days is a brilliant schedule. So try it for a bit. This arc ends with Pacore picking her up. Before that we; - finish curing ink infused with mana - make mana infusing enchanted box - need to see arrows crafted - some enchanting that succeeds with Sandra - her first New Years party as an adult - deep forest hunting with Tabitha - return of Elizabeth to Drey, rebuilding the branch office - visit from Kervin: Supplies, crops, weapons - delivery of her work with reactions - Aaliyah mastering a technique to land a blow on Tabitha finally - it might be handy if she could double the range of that magic communication tool Meanwhile like others said, try to map out what “life with Pacore” will be like. Live like a noble, make her own forge, miss her mine and fathers trees, interact in society, train like a battle junkie, reverse new runes. Etc. Will she battle the dragon or make friends with the dragon? What magic metals will be common there. Then next arc is to visit stone kin country.
Vyktor
Don't try to burn yourself trying to write when nothing come to you. Take some time away from the paper (keyboard?) if you think you need it, post a Hiatus post and take the time needed to start again fresh. Better stop for some time that force the words and destroy yourself and your story. 😔
Tom Henman
We need to see the wedding and the village party (her first as adult). Like others mention trip to woods, all kinds of training, etc. Now also perhaps she could find a new mine with perhaps either a very high level known metal or even a new one. Perhaps doing so she could gain a skill to find raw materials. She also should at some point bring some new things to the world like mentioned above by others. Your story shines with the personal interactions. It could be really interesting to go hunting with Tabitha. Since that has been commented on as not the best way to improve ones fighting skills could be real interesting if T got saved by A. Anyhow if you don’t you might want to chart out a rough outline of where you are going with story. Make it more detailed as time passes and story gets closer to the point. One more thing please use here or discord to let us know you are alive when writers block or life slows down releases. Also maybe make it a goal to give an early release if you get done early and are not needing to bank chapters.
Pawaidan
Chapter was great 👍, you do you I will stick around till this wondefull book is done
PatronTurtle
A way of determining where you want the story to go is to describe what goals A should reach and what kind of confrontation should be present. Goals: She's about to finally get enchanting down, will she then start to learn 3d enchanting or do she need to find a new teacher (maybe in Schol). Should A become a noble, forced to lead a place? Does she kill the dragon? Will she explore and find new materials? Confrontations: a noble trying to control her. What happens if Pacor dies while she's in Schol? Will Schol fall? What happens when she meats the General again? What does A do when she stops gaining levels? How does she handle her first assassination attempt?
Melting Sky
She has time before Pacore finishes up with his current mission of conquest so I imagine learning enchanting and dragging her new murder hobo senpai into the depths of the forest for magic materials would be the two most immediate little self-contained arcs, well the enchanting won't be self-contained but it's open-ended and low tension so it can serve as an overarching B plot in the background to whatever more urgent stuff comes up. There is quite a bit of character-building stuff to explore with the MC preparing to leave the village. Remember a good exercise is to view the story through the lens of each major character and how they would respond to what's going on around them.
Maniac000
I guess first figure out where the end point of this arc is and then figure out what events and character moments needs to happen before you reach that point. So let’s assume this current arc ends with Aaliyah leaving with Pecore. Before she leaves she needs to 1) do her first enchantment 2) hash things out with Del and her family 3) perhaps make that trip into the mana dense part of the forest etc. As you’re doing that lay the groundwork for the next arc, which I assume will be life and training in Scholl, Olebert’s larger response to the invasion, Silver Herd’s continued attempts to rise and maybe introducing the Great merchant companies. Sometimes drawing a diagram out in paper helps if you haven’t done so.
Michael Harris
I like the idea of expanding Mom's role. I've also tried to imagine what would happen if Aaliyah ran into her mother's relatives in her future travels; I think that could be highly entertaining. The forgotten/abandoned daughter had a daughter and it turns out she's Wonder Woman.
Imspinnennetz
From my understanding the first arc of the story built towards the arrow for General Pitz and the invasion of Scholl. The second arc of the story seems to be moving towards crafting equipment for Pacore to deal with the dragon and the egg. As such, Aaliyah needs to learn enchanting, some combat skills (monster hunting), and political skills. There are two side stories that can to take place regarding Master Del and the Silver Herd. Aaliyah's discovery of enchanting and understanding of how to charge magical items using runes suggests that she might be able to help Master Del overcome some of his problems with stripped status by creating a method for him to interact with magic using magicite as fuel. On a similar note, Aaliyah's move into Scholl introduces the chance for Silver herd to expand into Scholl territory backed by their ability to break the enchanter's monopoly. (Aaliyah has developed a fool proof way to make enchanter's ink that the company can exploit.)
Infinate Fail
because other people dont have that much detail in their character sheets. I think in the earlier chapters, she could only see her xp bar and subtract from what it was before the skill leveled to learn how much xp she got.
Cap'n No Pants
I think there are some loose ends around the village she could explore as she gets low on crafting materials to spend her time on. So for example, some chapters about the mana high forest and some exploration, training and material extraction from there; - chapters interacting with the fake healer lady in the village, like maybe she steals her healing item or they fight and find out a bit of each other and then Aaliya helps that healer lady become a better healer somehow. Whether she improves her magic item somehow or helps the lady get around what I believe you said was her severe lack of mana. I just feel like they should have clashed by now if nothing else. - I'd like to see general Pitz somehow brought back into Aaliya's area? I think a chapter where Pacore attempts to ransom her off back to her country and the country doesn't want to give as much as Scholl and Pacore want, so Aaliya hears about it and out bids them, basically, would be funny. If not, then maybe Aaliya requests a person of a super high level to improve her crafting for high leveled characters in some way, and wants a ranged person in comparison to Tabitha's melee distance, so Pacore sends Pitz, who would totally not fight that idea, and then have some conflict with Aaliya as she tries to convince her to escape or have a loyalty to her country for some silly reason. Then Pitz is corrupted by Aaliya and ends up thinking about joining Scholl and joins Aaliya's harem. With Tabitha. Or something. - some chapters where Aaliya gets some new skills would be interesting. Now that she seems to be running to the end of what she can do as a Smith by her lonesome and from what Del can teach her, she should be getting some more time free. Seeing as she is stated to actively avoid training with Tabitha, I think her grinding out some skills and experimenting to get some new ones would be logical. I don't remember if she spent time towards the beginning of the novel just picking up random skills, but this would be an opportunity for her to do so. Off the top of my head I can imagine her learning more of her mother's social focused skills, her father's lumberjack skills, some crowd control / ruler skills from the head man, mundane skills useful to a combatant from Tabitha, and a plethora of daily village life skills from the villagers. Like farming or weaving or something. As a Smith it seems to me she could benefit from, at the least, a passing understanding of basic wood working, cloth production and use, and leather processing skills. - some weapons skills from Tabitha. As a Smith I think she should know how to use every weapon she could need to make so she can improve her understanding of its designs. - I personally enjoy main characters teaching others, so maybe the introduction of her teaching a successor to her position in the village? Or just teaching some village kids the joy of seeing many skills and many skills leveling? Idk. In an extreme measure where all the village kids are actually older than her, I think she should abduct a child from another village. Or find a starving child in the forest or something. Then take them under her wing for a bit. - after she gets some engraving ink made, it'd be cool if she got an item kinda like a mana battery that absorbs ambient mana and stores it for her use. To train her high mana skills faster. Like air walk. - a skill to detect minerals or determine the relative crafting value of a material. - give her a pet. It seems many of the characters in isekai have a potentially disaster class pet that raise from a tender and harmless creature to a natural disaster incarnate. So give her a mongoose or something. Plox. - To finish? I personally think the story should move back to focusing almost entirely on Aaliya as Scholls invasion will take some time and you could probably just sum up what happened and people's thoughts on it, after Pacore grabs Aaliya for her vacation to Scholl. Also, multiple perspectives bleed attention from the MC, in my opinion.
Michael Harris
If you need more time to get to the quality that you want in your writing, then take that time. Your following on Patreon is a proof of your own judgment. Don't doubt yourself.
The other DB
Nice chapter, I liked Giovanni’s reaction to the events going on and I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s chapter. Take care of yourself. Some idea for the future: - Edit the older chapters, no need to change the plot around. - I’ve never been a fan of Aailyah’s mom, but I want to be, so I have an alternative motive with this one 😊. It doesn’t seem like she has a role in the village outside of being a housewife. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a housewife but being in a frontier village and not having a contribution to the village seems wasteful especially when you consider her education. Maybe a retrospective chapter(s) from her mom’s point of view that focuses on Aailyah’s growth but also includes her broader interaction with the village, e.g., writing letters for an illiterate villagers, reviewing a contract (I’m aware that she was keeping this a secret), mending villagers clothing, identifying & preserving herbs that Aailyah’s dad found in the forest. - Other retrospective chapters from Del, the mayor, or Kervin’s POV would be nice but I wouldn’t overdo it. - I second (or is it third by now) a trip into the forest looking for crafting materials. Maybe introduce other higher ranking Scholl military members, maybe one could have a connection (rival, senior, love interest) to Tabitha, that will go into the forest with them. - A time skip could be helpful but I this could be Aailyah’s last chance for a wile to interact with the village.
brandy
Even though the MC remembers her past life she hasn't done anything with that knowledge. I would like to see what something like a mountain bike could do for the world. Its simple enough to make but could change transportation alot. Printing press, clock, and glider would also be interesting.
Michael Harris
While I prefer Aaliyah's POV, I do like to occasionally see others; this bit just now with Giovanni was very enjoyable and the Silver Herd characters are interesting. Who knew mercantile fantasy was a thing?
Jean Fere
Thanks for the chapter While it was certainly realistic it seemed a tiny bit flat. Might just be because it was shorter than the usual. Have to ask is there reason she just didn't say she got murder xp instead of crafting or skill training xp ?
Malchome
As others have said take care of yourself. Also a suggestion I saw from some of the other Author patreons that helped when they had writers block was to spin up an unrelated story that way when you hit a block in one or you most likely will have more ideas/thoughts on where to go in the other.
Taksu
hmm got some -get to adult -burned trough all alchemy materials whoops ->into the forest with tabitha, mid summer forest yuri inititiate -go to scholl grab someone that actually knows missing spell skills to teach -internal scholl politics a mess -oolibert decides to be ass after hears about lost possibilities -ditch too many povs story at best when aaliyah interacts with people not when things happen -for some stupid reason go see what dragon looks like and dont fight it -smithy away -go for some fantastic materials and where they come from quest -oolibert counter attack cuts scholl off from new land and village in danger since oolibert is ass -go visit home -gain extra exp from people dying
Andrew
Thank you!
PaperMache7
It think talking about something like where the story should go might be better on something like discord for more back and forth. Still I'll say my piece on it. The first thing to look at is probably the theme of the story, what's being explored/transmitted here exactly? It can be something as simple as the joy of new experiences or how people change overtime, but there has so be something concrete and the story is a vehicle to explore that theme. From there you can build from the character own internal motivations, who is Aliyah, what are her base psychological characteristics (you can look the Big Five personality traits for that), what are her values, why does she want the things she wants and what plans would she come to for getting those things filtered through the lens of her view of the world. This process can also be done for other characters, but the MC is the most important character to have a profile of. Knowing what the plans of the MC are downstream from their internal drive means you can just craft the plot according to where their actions will lead them, it's then up to you to build an interesting road while keeping in mind their general direction.
BookDragonling
Yaaaaay, you live! And everyone knows if you ignore a problem long enough it will go away. Except diabetes, that does not go away.
Justin
I have and it makes some of the comments seem .... Silly. When you binge read the chapters flow way better.
Mist of Shadows
I like the idea of an enchanting focused chapter. And I'm glad to hear that it was just writer's block. I'm interested in seeing how she does enchanting things. Maybe a chapter where she teaches her friend some magic or they work on enchanting together as that should be something they can work on.
Justin
I'm in alignment with all of these suggestions except formal school. That one I'm on the fence about. I really like the idea of a magic teacher and them loosing their mind about her mana manipulation.
White Neko Knight
As this is primarily a crafting/creation novel I'd recommend having a few expeditions into the higher mana areas. She needs materials, so go hunting for them. She's getting to the point where she can start experimenting again, so start experimenting once more. She's learning more about how to fight and how skills actually work, which is going to lead to a change of weapons, armor, and fighting style as she moves from skilled amateur to skilled trainee. On a personal note, I wonder if you will ever introduce glass into the world. Unless my brain has simply skipped overall mentions of it, I haven't really seen any instances of its use.
Njordt
With the dragon as the driving point, there is a lot to be done when it comes to the changing geo-political landscape in the region. Like, different reactions, actions and policies that effect our mc and supporting cast down the road. We got this war right now, but that doesn't mean the effect ends there, we are talking about the potential displacement of a cultural/economic center. I'm no writer, at most i run a few dnd groups, but here are my suggestions: -Maybe she just dont move to the center of Scholl and joins the high kings court, maybe she gets a kingdom-building arc in being part of a new cultural center in this region, lots of clients and potential for that frontier spirit thing. -Maybe the high king dies or get disposed earlier than expected and the kingdom splits, lots of political action on that front. -Aaliyah never reaches the Scholl capital or vaults, cuz of dragon, political infighting from the war or her mentor dies, leaving her in a awkward situation: you dont have to deal with the potential sudden power/knowledge boost it brings. -Introduce some new factions, order or group to add more fodder and conflicting motivations in the story: how would the warriors and princes' of Scholl try to involve themselves in the story. -Whenever i feel a slump in story or nothing is really happening, take a step back and think of the repercussions of what just happened and how different characters hearing about it would react, maybe there is a hook worth several arcs or good interactions that might lead to something interesting: for example Giovanni starts visiting his daughter after burning out from this whole Grey business.
Akatosh
Time skips are fine, add them wherever you think they are needed. Im not even sure how you could avoid them seeing as the focus is still village life, once/if Aaliyah goes out into the wider world i think it would be easier to avoid time skips but even then the occasional one is fine.
John Emad
Battle Junky - - > Battle Junkie
Dave
Ideas, would love to throw some out. 1.) Now the engraving ink is done recreate the tunic devises she gained as toys from Kevin and recreate them with the 'real' runes. 2.) Hunting trip into high mana zone with her battle mad senior student. 3.) Pacore gained a powerful magic teacher for Allah from taking over the region and sends them to the village or brings her to the city to train.4.) World expanding what do the other powers of the continent think about the school invasion, what other races of humanoid do we have in this story?. 5.) work on soul sence and pass the lv40 gaining ability to see basic stats like health. 6.) one of my favriot things about your story is slice of life it's cliche but school royal school or something along those lines makes a lot of sence with pacore backing there has to be some kind of school system in that world. 7.) Start creating inventions from earth with anything and enchanting ( she needs enchanting training for this story to live up to the name magic something. 8.) Create a competition for your subs to write side storys.9.) Now she can create spare arrows cause the general is captured gift one to the silent archer of the village. 10.) Get Giovanni amulet to his daughter. 11.) The wedding should be soon I want to read about aliayah dancing for real not just training. 12.) The archer general was only No.6 in the strong list of people in the country where are the rest of the really strong people defending this invasion..what can they do to cut school off or fight back.
Milandaanza
Please take care of yourself. Thanks for the update and I know how hard it can be to push yourself to social interactions when you’re not ready. If you’re stalled for ideas I know many authors like bouncing ideas off authors; it’s why discord’s are popular. Or you can just make a Patreon post asking people what they want to see (emphasize you’re just brainstorming and are curious what your fans want to see). Anyway can’t wait for more!
Trevor
My feeling about the story at the moment is that you could probably skip to when Pacore is ready to pick up Aaliyah and just summarize the training, crafting and warmongering that led to that point. If there are some particular training/crafting advancements that are important for the story you can flashback/sidestory/make reference to it at the time it's appropriate. Not that I didn't like the combat, just that it is not really the goal of your character or story so far. The interactions between Aaliyah and Pacore were fun and I think you enjoyed writing them more. The conversations between Aaliyah and her family/neighbors/business partners is where the story shines.
Loyal Patreon follower
Ideas about topics i enjoy reading about -Wars: This war was one sided from the start which means there isnt much tension, MC participating in a war as someone making weapons or even battling is something that could be fun -Faction conflicts: Conflict between MC faction and a different one, could be over producing items or even as basic as a enemy faction monopolizing the best ore. Honestly there is always a lot you can do -Rivalry: MC hast had any rival for magic-smithing. Which means we dont know how good she is. What if there is a different prodegy (maybe in Alchemy or something) and MC feels the need to be better. Its weak by itself but could help out on other plot lines. -Someone targeting here because envy/strategic reasons -She hits a wall is unable to become better OR/AND decides to try a different direction
Alexander Krikorian
Thanks for the chapter! I think scaling back the number of chapters would be good, maybe have it once a week and build up a bit of a back log (or even just a rough outline so you're not committing too much time) will make your life a lot less stressful. Honestly I think really fleshing out all the characters, coming up with their back stories and motivations, planning out the whole histories of the various countries, etc will let you much more easily plan out new adventures. Maybe there's an issue the dwarves are dealing with that leads her to visiting them for an arc? Maybe she goes to find out whatever caused the beasts to move out of the forest. Making the lore will allow you to quickly make stories for Aaliyah exploring, since that's something she's wanted to do.
austin kutz
If you want to write a training and crafting montage at this point, it may well be warranted, depending on how you'd like the story to progress from here. There isn't much going on until Pacore returns other than crafting and training.
Noble Defect
Hey man if your having trouble with finding a direction for the story I'd say to give yourself a goal about where you want your character to be and focus on the journey to that goal.
Randall C
There is always live training aka gathering deep forest materials
Menaiya
Another point about filler per se, One thing i've wondered about is Del's history. I know we have had teasing points to it. While Aaliyah has a high level, there has to be some balance. Is there a way to think of throwing obstacles at Aaliyah she has to overcome? just my thoughts while reading.
Stephen Bengtson
Pick whatever pace you need; info >>>> no info. Don't be afraid to do a time skip if necessary!
That One Guy
Just throwing ideas out here... Conscripted into an army Finds some rare ore and makes her own mine and village. Someone comes looking for her master. Pecore dies and she has to figure out how to protect her village. A different dragon comes and makes its home in the forest. Elves? Beastmen? Orcs? Trolls (intelligent kind or dumb kind depending on your inspiration) Lizardmen? Enchanting trainer? Cure her master's mana problem and go to his home town. Enchant village to fly around the world Dragon/Phoenix/other intelligent beast friendship? Adventuring team, either forced into or with one of the other deciples as training. Enchanted hydroponics to solve the food crisis. That's all I got off the top of my head. Forgive the spelling and hopefully something sounds interesting.
Derun
I like the way you handled the interactions here. It felt real. Ideas: A chapter from Kerwin's POV going going back to the village. Sounds like selling food to Scholl is a good opportunity so it could be fun seeing him reflect on how he got here and where things could go from here. Pacore finding out that Grey is dead and having a realization/guess that his new disciple had something to do with it. Maybe pieced together from a report sent by the battle maniac. Maybe a chapter the sister in law's POV about breakthroughs in her own skills from helping Aaliyah with the alchemy and/or their conversations? A chapter from Aaliyah's parents perspective on her leaving the village? Maybe combine with the mayor dude (whose name I can't recall off hand) pondering the future as well That's all I've got. Not sure if they're good ideas, but maybe it will give you something to work with
Alex C
If you're looking for filler: Training arc where she gets a list a little understanding of one on one combat and learns something surprising about one of her skills She accidentally let's slip something about how high her skills are or what rarity and there is some scramble on scholl's characters to determine what to do with the info They practice enchanting and find out how to replicate basic enchantments A chapter where she makes arrows for the village and goes out hunting at the edge of the forest with the hunters She convinces everyone that she and her guard should go explore the edges of the magic forest to train and look for materials Some slice of life chapters: townspeople reaction to the explosion, maybe one of how scholl interprets the explosion, one from the goblins point of view about eating grey, reactions of the gods to things going on around her I would think this arc wraps up with scholl consolidating the area and her traveling with them back to scholl then. The next arc would be her training and them trying to bring her trainers only to find she has to work differently because of her skill set. Or maybe someone learns of her and trys to kidnap or assassinate her and she has to dive deeper into combat training.
Netveiwer
Loved the chapter cant wait for part 2. For throwing ideas for future I see two maybe three arcs before she starts prepping for the dragon. First, you already created a high density magical woods for her battle thirsty trainer to drag her off to. Whose to say the cause of the magic density isnt a dungeon or rift for some cliche dungeon crawling fun. Second is something happens that halts or delays the war march that drags mc into some political drama. Lastly war march ends and on way with her new teacher he drags her to stone kin to fix his now for some new reason heavily damage armor for some new crating bing arc. Use none, use all, I am just throwing spaghetti at the wall here. Love your work and glade you post good content hense I give you my money.
Mattias
Ideas for bridging time between now and leaving for scholl: - Experimenting with the engraving ink - Crafting the arrows - Learning some magic skills from Sandra ( Fast chanting/silent chanting), if not directly from Sandra then from observing her or from Tabitha (assuming she has some magic) - Field trips with Tabitha in the deeper parts of the forest to hunt monsters ( Possibly crafting with materials from those monsters) - Crafting going away presents for people (Pickaxe for del, arrow for Ronald, ...) - Learning about what to expect in Scholl ( Other Pacore students, general hierarchy, Pacore's rivals) from Tabitha - Wedding + new years festival
fuble878
Instead of posting updates when ch are delayed on Patreon you should make a channel in the discord that has your status update if there is a delay or something.
Clay Smith
So I think the story is going great, but you mentioned in your note that you didn’t want to skip too much time. Honestly I would kinda rather you skip some time at this point. I feel like moving to the next chapter would also probably help you with your writers block. Move the story along to where you want it to be as opposed to getting frustrated because you are trying to make quality chapter that are really just “fillers”.
Lictor Magnus
Welcome back! Every five days would be fine. That’s what Mecanimus does and it works out just fine.
Kelan
Although we shouldnt really influence where the story should go, if i were to put in my two cents. Let Aaliyah mainly train her crafting in scholl, obviously a bit of martial training too but i think it would be interesting if she somewhat butts heads with pacore and his students by saying she doesnt really care for that. Then once the 5 years are up she leaves? Or something along those lines and tries to make it herself in the wide world without relying on others? I dont think she should become a pillar of scholl like pacore wants her to be and it might be fun to see pacore not getting what he wants. In short term? I reckon slice of life filler chapters are quite sufficient, just simply her messing about with crafting and enchanting and perhaps teasing a certain battle junkie. I think you are in a nice position in the story where you can somewhat slow it down in terms of plot points until she has to leave for scholl so that gives you the opportunity to also take it easy and write some, in comparison to the previous arc, braindead slice of life!
Robert Mullins
Pick a schedule you can commit to. Even if it's only 2 chapters a month. I'd much rather pay $5 a month for 2 chapters and get them over, paying $5 a month for 8 chapters and not getting them. Communication and meeting commitments is far more important than update rate.
Barrett Hess
Fewer chapters is a small price to pay for a happier Kosnik. I want to be able to read Magic Smithing for years to come.
Karvash
Have you tried rereading your story it might help with your writer's block?
J3_Haustkottr
I don't mind you slowing down your release schedule, just please be upfront about it. Hell, if you need a month to get yourself in order, take a hiatus, just don't leave us in the dark. Get yourself in a good, or at least better, place so you can figure out what a healthy schedule is that you can stick to. Storywise, it seems like the next things that I'd like to see happen are serious training with and getting to know Tabitha more, and getting out of the village, and seeing more of the world and it's peoples.
Joppest
Welcome back, I feel this is a good place to skip forward if you want to.
DvaDI
normally he rounds the numbers
ZaA
Kosnik4
Corrections
