Magic_Smithing
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Ch: 88
🕑 Added 2021-03-13 02:05:28 +0000 UTC“Have you ever seen magicite like this?” I ask Sandra.
"The most magicite I've seen in one place was your storeroom," Sandra tells me while she stares wide-eyed at the walls of the mine.
"Really?" I ask, surprised. "I'd thought magicite would be a lot more openly traded in Drey, especially for mages? Master told me how magicite is rare in large quantities but not exactly hard to find in general."
Sandra shakes her head as she moves over to the cavern's wall and starts touching the protruding chunks of mana-dense rock. "I'm sure that's true from a stone kin’s perspective, but magicite is mostly traded between mages and the wealthy. The average person hasn’t a need for magic items, meaning magicite itself isn’t needed. My master explained that magicite is actually one of the cheapest magic materials because the items that use it are more expensive than the ore itself."
"Huh," I remark. You learn something new every day. "Be careful with your hands. Magicite is crystalline in nature and can be quite sharp. Also, don't try to use your Sense Mana on it; you'll get a killer headache," I warn Sandra.
She carefully pulls her hand back before looking at me like I'm an idiot. "I'm not a child, and of course, you'd get a headache. Magicite is almost pure mana; if anyone other than you tried to directly sense that amount of overwhelming magic, they'd be knocked unconscious.”
"No one exactly taught me these things, ok?" I try to defend myself. Sandra continues to wearily shake her head, like an older sister berating their sibling for doing something ridiculous.
I huff in annoyance and move to the other side of the cavern. I do this partially to get away from my patronizing friend and partially to distance myself from her, so when I swing my pickaxe, she isn't harmed by any falling rocks.
“Everyone makes fun of the village girl for not knowing anything,” I playfully pout. Sandra starts giggling at my obvious overdramatization. “Keep your mouth shut unless you want to know what magicite tastes like,” I give Sandra one last warning as I raise master’s pickaxe.
The pick glows as I fill its enchantment with mana. Using pinpoint accuracy, I slam the pickaxe into the rocky surface with all my Strength. I might not be as good as master yet, but I still cause a small explosion of rubble with every one of my swings.
The enchanted pickaxe makes short work of the magicite walls. Briefly looking back, I see Sandra watching me work with the kind of rapt attention people have when they're watching something be destroyed. Knowing my friend is watching me only drives me to work harder to impress her further.
Even though it's entirely unnecessary, I activate Double Strike and Weighted Strike together. The two skills combined tear down hundreds of pounds of magicite like the rock is made of foam. I have to remind myself I only have so much room in my cart before losing myself in the mindless digging.
Finished, I reabsorb the magic in the pickaxe and heft it onto my shoulder. While I look over my handiwork, I hear a light clapping behind me. Turning around, Sandra grins at me. "That was pretty cool. You're amazing; you know that?" I immediately start to blush under her praise.
I try to hide my face from Sandra, but my light spell overhead acts like a spotlight, drawing attention to my reddening face. "Thanks," I simply respond.
“I should be thanking you for bringing me along.”
“I thought it would be nicer hanging out with you rather than dragging master down here,” I jokingly laugh.
Sandra has been hanging out with me in master’s clearing a lot more this past week. She still spends time with her family and Richard, but when she’s not with them, Sandra is with me. Even when we’re not working on the formula for engraving ink, Sandra watches me forge or practices her magic off to the side. Master grumbles that his clearing is a lot louder these days, but I can tell he doesn’t mind having her around.
I mean, the two of us can't possibly be louder than when I’m blacksmithing, can we?
"I might have followed you down even if you didn't invite me," Sandra grins at me. "I heard rumors of what it's like in a magicite mine, and I wanted to experience it for myself."
"Really; is it that exciting?" I ask.
Again, Sandra looks at me like I’m the weird one. “What mage wouldn’t want to feel this level of ambient magic?”
"I've been down here so many times; I guess I don't feel it that much anymore," I wryly remark. Sure, there's extra mana down here, but it isn't exactly hard for me to absorb mana from my surroundings. If anything, I find the extra mana annoying now. Usually, I can control how much mana I absorb, but the mana tries to force its way into my body when I'm down here. But thanks to my physical stats steadily increasing along with my magic skills, I'm able to block over 90% of the extra mana from trying to enter my body.
“I should practice my earth magic while I’m down here,” Sandra excitingly tells me.
“Won’t all this earth mana poison your mana network?” I remind my friend.
Sandra shakes her head at me again before straightening her back and going into teacher mode. “If I was practicing any other type of magic, maybe, but as long as I only use earth attuned spells, it will reduce the stress on my mana network."
"You can do that?!" my voice echoes in the chamber.
Sandra nods her head and grins at me like she’s expecting me to praise her. I’m too busy wondering how I missed something like that, but it makes sense. Our bodies convert ambient mana into our own magic reserves. That magic is what we use to shape spells in return. When I cast my cleaning spell or other spells, I’ve seen how my magic attunes itself to the element of the spell I’m using. I should’ve been able to guess I can mix in the ambient mana my body absorbs into my spells as long as it fits with the magic I’m casting.
Maybe I didn't realize this because I mostly absorb earth mana from the ground. After all, it's the slowest and easiest mana to work with, while none of the three spells I know use earth attuned mana? I should try lighting a fire and absorbing some of the fire mana it releases and see if it improves my hovering light ball or small flame spells.
“All this extra mana is perfect for me to practice a few earth spells. It will help with my reduced mana pool,” Sandra’s comment pulls me out of my thoughts.
“What’s wrong with your mana pool?” I ask her.
Sandra brings her hand up to her stomach. “A quarter of my mana pool is protecting my baby.”
“Really?” I exclaim.
Using Sense Mana, I look at Sandra's mana network. She's right; a large chunk of her mana is revolving around the growing fetus. Her mana is creating a blanket, protecting the growing baby from any ambient magic her body absorbs. It's been a couple of months since I met Sandra and brother on the road to Drey, and since then, I haven't scanned her with my skills. Sandra is still in her first trimester, and the baby is still microscopic, but it's developed a lot since I have last seen it.
“Heyyyyy!” Sandra wraps her arms around her waist defensively.
“What?” I try to act innocent.
“You were scanning me again,” Sandra looks at me accusingly.
"How could you tell?" I ask her, not exactly denying her accusation. Unlike Sense Soul, Sense Mana isn't intrusive. Sandra shouldn't have been able to tell I was using my skill on her.
“You kept staring at my stomach like you were trying to see through it, obviously!”
I sheepishly look away. “I was just curious, is all. It’s not like you don’t check up on your baby.”
“It’s my baby!” Sandra stresses.
“Fair enough,” I admit.
I move over to the cart I brought and push it closer to the rubble I knocked down. Grabbing a shovel, I start scooping everything into the cart.
“I need to get one of those mana obscuring tools, like you have,” Sandra complains, moving closer to me now that I'm not tearing down the walls.
“It will have to be a good one if you want to block me,” I joke.
Sandra blankly looks at me, not impressed with my flexing at the moment. “That isn’t funny.”
“Sorry,” I quickly apologize. “As soon as we finish the engraving ink, that’ll be the first thing I make.”
Sandra snorts, but a smile starts to creep back onto her face. “You better after all the time I’m spending helping you.”
The two of us share a laugh. Sandra stands there, content to watch me shovel the magicite. Our conversation falls into a lull right up until I have most of the cart filled.
“How’s the discussion with your parents been going?” Sandra asks me.
I let out a small sigh and not because I’m tired from working. "It's ongoing," I tell her. "You know how my mom can be. And this time, she has dad on her side."
“They still want to go to Scholl with you, huh?”
“No matter how many times brother and I tell our parents it would be safer for them to stay here, they don't listen. Thanks for having Richard help me convince them, by the way," I smile at Sandra.
"No problem, but he's still worried about you. We all are." It's sad to see my friends so concerned for me, but at the same time, I'm happy they care so much.
“Thanks,” I tell Sandra as I finish shoveling the last of the magicite. I throw my shovel and pickaxe on top of the ore, preparing to leave.
“That’s what I’m here for,” she beams at me.
“Is that why you’re here?” I joke as I start pushing the cart out of the magicite cavern and toward the mine’s exit. “Because I thought you missed me or something.”
"Well, that too." Sandra walks next to me. "Have you figured out where Pacore's student is going to stay? They're supposed to be here soon, right?”
“Don’t remind me," I grunt. "Pacore said 'she' would be here soon, and it's been almost two weeks now.”
“It’s been what?” Sandra starts counting with her fingers. “Five, eight, twelve days since Pacore left the village. Did he say where she would be coming from?”
"Nope, not a word. But if she were in Drey, she'd be here by now, so I guess she was in Teeburn. Who knows how long it will take her to get here?" I push the cart of magicite up the gradual incline of the mine.
“But what are you going to do when she does get here? Is your family going to host her?"
"It's hard for my family and me to plan anything regarding her because we have no idea what she's like. What if she's an old weirdo like Pacore?"
"Didn't Pacore say she was his student like you? How old can she possibly be?"
"Pacore is ancient," I point out to Sandra. "For all we know, she's older than Granny Gellar."
"That would be funny," Sandra giggles. "Soooo…. you don't have any idea where she would stay?" For a second, Sandra smiles like her mom, and I know she has something planned.
“You going to tell me your diabolical plan, or are you going to make me guess?” I press her.
“Listen to this,” Sandra starts explaining her plan to me.
And the more she explains to me, the more I want to get behind her plan. Everyone wins, well…… Sandra and I will be the big winners.
**********
Master Pacore the Deathless’ Point of View:
"Master Pacore, your orders, sir?"
“Have the away units set up around each of the city’s gates. We can't have them getting ahold of any more supplies."
“It will be done immediately.”
"And young Jason…" I turn to address the young man beside me and stop when I remember it isn't Jason but one of the communication mages. The young mage doesn’t so much as twitch when I call him by the wrong name; he just waits patiently for me to finish my orders.
I clear my throat, pretending like I swallowed something wrong. "Excuse me; have the men start constructing three siege towers. Two for defense while the third will help us punch through the gate."
“By your orders,” the mage salutes me and steps aside to broadcast my orders to every unit.
I let out a long sigh once I’m left alone. I can’t believe I addressed that young man as Jason. This is the fourth time I’ve done that since I started my march on Blaiton. It was right of me to leave young Jason and General Pitz behind, but I miss their company. But as I predicted, this battle will be a lot more complicated than the last ones.
Standing on a small hill, I survey our surroundings. We reached the city a few hours ago and have just finished establishing our main camp. Unlike the siege on Drey, I can immediately tell this will be a real battle. Blaiton has had ample time to prepare, and they didn't waste it.
Blaiton has a trench dug around its walls, and all the water from the melting frost has turned it into a mud trap. There’s a small bridge, maybe ten feet across, that stretches over the ditch to the city’s gates, but chances are it’s booby-trapped.
Unlike Drey, I can clearly spot thousands of figures stationed on the walls, along with plenty of siege weapons.
It would be nice to order my men to form ranks and charge the walls, but this fight won't be that simple. Blaiton might not have someone at General Pitz's level, but they’re more prepared and better staffed.
To make things more challenging, I need to take the city in a way where we can march on Yleles soon afterwards. My spies tell me Yleles and the earl's fort are only held by a token force at the moment, so we can’t give them a chance to reinforce themselves. I can also see some of the soldiers are sporting Drey’s guard uniforms, meaning there are effectively three cities worth of defenders packed onto those walls.
Not even I will be able to take this city without incurring some losses.
With our forces stretched thin, I don't have the option to send for backup either. I would love to discuss these issues with Jason or mess with the general to distract myself from my problems, but neither are here at the moment.
I start stroking my beard as platoons of soldiers take off to circle the city. I'm not sure if I have enough men to surround the city altogether, but I can certainly make it difficult for them to receive supplies.
Sieges are usually won by one side outlasting the other. For a country like Scholl, which prides itself on its strongest people, usually, such tactics would be considered a sign of weakness, but I have to be smart with what I have.
Instead of ordering my best soldiers to lead a charge, we’ll build a few siege towers. They’ll take the brunt of the force from Blayton’s siege weapons while we try to knock in their front door. I still plan to stay true to Scholl's methods of overwhelming force, only this time, there will be much more planning involved.
The downside is that the preparations will take days to set up correctly. Days of soldiers silently judging my methods without anyone to talk to. It’s important for my image that my men never see me as weak. I can’t complain to a random soldier, I can’t sit down and explain myself; no, I need to remain the unbreakable wall to all my men.
"Why didn't I bring Jason with me?" I groan aloud again. No, bringing him would've been a mistake. This isn't a stroll to another village or a quick skirmish before the city surrenders. With everything the local nobility has done to prepare for my arrival, I have to assume they have assassins and other saboteurs prepared as well. If I brought young Jason along with me, he'd be one of the first people targeted. And no need to think about what would've happened if I brought General Pitz with me; Blaiton would stop at nothing to recover her.
It was the right decision to leave the two of them back in Drey. I’ll send for them after I take the city.
**********
Aaliyah’s Point of View:
“Your friend not coming today?” Master asks me from his bench.
I smile at him as I stoke the forge. "You're just assuming she's coming here every day now?" I ask in a smug tone.
"It feels like it. She went into the mine with you two days ago and spent almost all day yesterday watching you work. I'd assumed the two of you were connected at the hip."
“Are you jealous because I have friends and you don’t?” I smugly ask Master Del.
He looks up at me with a salty look. “You have ‘a friend’, that’s hardly that much more than I do.”
“At least I have one,” I try to retort.
"One," master emphasizes. "I chose to live alone. Can you say the same thing?" Master smiles, knowing he won our little verbal spar.
I snort at his gloating and turn back to the forge. Damn, master is winning our back and forths more and more. Am I losing my touch?
Shaking my head, I clear those thoughts out of my mind as the forge reaches the temperature I want. Richard and Salus finished the village armory yesterday, and I figured I start off the day's work by making a few more shields as a warm-up. The village already has more weapons than a village our size should rightfully have, so I figure I should shift toward more defensive gear. My specialty is weapons, but I know I still need to practice my armor designs more.
“Maybe I should start making some helmets too?” I ponder to myself.
I’m about to move a steel ingot into the forge when I sense someone nearing the clearing. I assume it's Sandra and prepare to hear master say, 'I told you so,' but as the person gets closer, their mana network becomes clearer, and I realize whoever's approaching doesn't have anywhere near Sandra's mana pool.
"We have company, master," I give Master Del a quick head's up.
Master swings his feet off his bench and sits up properly while I stop working the bellows. Thankfully I didn't start the day by preparing to forge kaglese weapons. I'd have wasted the better fuel trying to get the forge hot enough only to be interrupted before I could start.
If someone's coming to the clearing, it either means they want to order a pot or something, but more likely, it's…
"Good morning, Aaliyah. You look wonderful today," Sandra's older brother Braddon gives me his most charming smile as he enters the clearing.
I roll my eyes, "Morning, Braddon." I'm not stupid enough not to notice his advances, but I’ve never felt attracted to him. I don’t spend much time pondering my love life or a lack thereof, but I’m 100% positive I don’t have feelings for my best friend’s older brother.
I'm pretty sure he's noticed my verbal cues, but the hunter hasn't given up the chase yet.
“What brings you here?” I bluntly ask, already pretty sure I know the answer.
Not put off by my dismissal of him, Braddon continues to smile at me. "I was asked to escort the beautiful lady back to our house. Your guest has arrived."
Even though I was preparing myself for the news, my body still trembles a little, hearing Pacore's student has arrived. My plans can change a lot depending on my babysitter's mood.
I turn to Del, “Master, can you watch the forge for me? I’m not sure how long this will take.”
“You want me to come with you?” Master stands up, giving me a concerned look.
“It’s fine,” I wave him back down.
"Shall we?" Braddon offers me his arm as a boyfriend would.
I just sigh and walk past him shaking my head. At this point, I'm debating whether or not I should try using Sense Soul on the persistent bugger, but I'm not even sure that will work at this point. I did beat the crap out of him in his basement that one time, and if anything, I think that only made him more interested in me.
"Wait up!" Braddon calls out after me as I start jogging toward his house. I make sure I use Double Step just enough to stay a few paces in front of him.
It isn't surprising that as soon as we make it back to the village, I see groups of people talking to each other, groups of people that stop talking as we near them and watch us as we head towards
the headman's house. At least I'll always be able to tell when something happens in our village or someone shows up to the village unannounced.
The groups of people grow larger as I see Camden's house in the distance, and I can hear whispers of a knight.
A knight?
Armor is pretty standard, and though most people don't wear full platemail, the image I have in my head of a knight is commonplace in this world.
The whispers continue as Braddon and I make our way over to his front door and walk inside the house. Moving down the hallway toward the drawing room, the passageway feels longer and narrower the closer I get to the door. I know it's just my imagination, so I stop myself before opening the door to collect myself.
Shake out my shoulders, crack my knuckles, take a deep breath; make sure my mana obscuring magic tool is topped off, and I’m ready to meet Pacore’s student.
Pushing open the drawing room door, my eyes immediately fall on my target, and I can see why everyone was calling her a knight. Sitting in a chair across from Camden and Sarette is a female knight. The first thing that catches my attention is her blue hair and the two black feathers she has pinned in them.
The second thing that surprises me is how young she looks. I was expecting an older woman or maybe someone who looks like they're in their 40's, but the lady in front of me looks like she's around the same age as mom. She has more of a Vitality glow about her, so I'm sure she's older than my mom, but I can't tell by how much.
She sits with a rigid military posture wearing a shiny grey set of platemail. To her side is a traveling pack along with her sword and shield, while her gauntlets and helmet are placed on the table. She's sipping a cup of tea as I enter, and like a machine, her arms gracefully lower the cup away from her lips before setting it on the table. Her every movement is precise as she turns to look at me.
When her green eyes meet mine, I have to swallow back a lump in my throat. Unlike Pacore, who gave off the air of a sleeping monster, the woman before me feels like a drawn blade ready to strike. I only need to see a vague glimpse of her soul to tell she’s around level 90. I’d guess at least 20 levels higher than me.
"Are you Aaliyah?" The knight asks me in a robust and noble voice.
“Yes,” I hesitantly answer.
She looks over me once and nods once like I passed some sort of unspoken test. "I thought master was exaggerating in his letter, but I guess I was wrong."
"What did the old man say about me?" I ask.
The knight's eyes narrow, and every hair on my body stands on end. "You are now an official student under Master Pacore. You should address him as such," she tells me in a cold voice.
Everyone in the room flinches. Sandra and Nicolas are standing in a corner, telling me to shut up with their eyes. I haven't even fully stepped into the room yet, and if Braddon wasn’t standing behind me, I might have turned around and left.
"Lady, Tabitha, I'm sure Aaliyah didn't mean any disrespect," Camden tries to appease the knight.
“I’m sure,” she flatly responds without looking away from me.
So, her name is Tabitha.
I don't know what possessed me at that moment, but I felt my anger start to build under her judgmental gaze. I might be considered Pacore's apprentice, but there's still the fact that title was forced upon me. So, I do what comes naturally.
I stick my foot in my mouth. "No, there was some disrespect intended."
Camden and everyone else pales in fright. Lady Tabitha just continues to stare at me, and a deep silence fills the room. I return her cold gaze with a challenging smirk while I mentally kick myself for saying that.
“I see,” Tabitha closes her eyes, looking like she’s thinking of a million ways to murder me. After a few seconds, she opens her eyes again; only instead of anger, she looks tired. "I see you and master share the same challenging personality." I want to disagree with her, but she turns her attention to Camden. "Before she arrived, we were discussing what I would be doing in the village?"
“Yes,” Camden wipes a bit of sweat from his forehead.
“My master ordered me to defend this village and to look after Aaliyah.”
“I don't need a babysitter, and I’m standing right here,” I growl.
Tabitha just ignores me and continues to talk to Camden. "I was informed there might be some magic beasts in the forest, but if there isn't, I can patrol for goblins or anything else."
"That would be very generous of you; thank you." Camden forces a smile. “What do you want me to tell the villagers?”
"It doesn't matter," Tabitha tells him. "This village is quite remote, but the less word spreads about me, the better. As long as you explain this to your people, we should be fine." Tabitha reaches down and picks up her teacup. She takes a sip and then asks, "Where will I be staying?"
Am I invisible now?
Camden awkwardly looks at me, and I angrily fold my arms in front of my chest. "I believe you'll be staying..." Camden tries to explain to Tabitha that he has no idea where she would be staying.
"You'll be staying in my room here." Sandra cuts off her father.
Tabitha nods curtly while Camden’s eyes turn into dinner plates. “What?!”
“Lady Tabitha is an important person, and it’s only right you host her, daddy,” Sandra feigns innocence. “Most of my stuff is at Richards house already, so I’ll just move in with him.” Sandra turns to Tabitha. “If you give me an hour, I can have the last of my stuff out of there.”
“I’m in no rush,” Tabitha takes another sip of tea.
“It’s settled!” Sandra happily claps her hands.
“What is happening?” Camden is stunned in his seat.
Sarette leans over and grasps her husband's hand, "breathe, dear."
Sandra looks at me and winks. Well, her plan went off without a hitch. Tabitha doesn't need to move in with my family, and Sandra gets to live with Richard like she wanted to. "I'll go grab Richard and have him help me move my clothes’ chest,” Sandra dances past me out of the room, happy as can be.
Camden wants to shout after his daughter, but he’s painfully aware of the woman sitting across from him. “Can you excuse me for a moment?” Camden politely asks his guest.
"Of course,” Tabitha nods to him. "I would appreciate some privacy anyways so that I can discuss a few things with my master's youngest disciple."
"Of course," Camden readily agrees despite seeing me frowning at him.
I watch as Sandra’s family leaves the room, shutting the door behind them.
“You should take a seat,” Tabitha motions to where Camden and Sarette were sitting.
“I’m fine where I am,” I continue to keep my distance from the armored knight.
“Suit yourself,” Tabitha remarks in an uncaring voice.
I continue to hatefully stare at the woman while she sips her tea like she's at a garden party. My anger starts to rise again as Tabitha continues to drink her tea without saying or acknowledging my presence.
“Isn’t there something you wanted to talk about?” I hiss.
“I’ll wait for you to sit,” she frankly tells me.
So, this is a test to see who cracks first. Well, game on, I'm not letting her establish dominance.
Minutes pass as I watch Tabitha slowly drink her tea. I expect her to demand me to sit once she finishes what’s in her cup, but she just sets it down and continues to sit with her back straight.
Another five minutes pass, and I start questioning what I'm doing. I'm starting to feel like a stubborn idiot.
I'm thinking about what I should do when Tabitha breaks the silence. "I'll remind you I have to deal with my master regularly. He once made me wait in the same spot for two days to prove a point."
What the fuck!
"I'm used to being tested, and I'm even more used to having my buttons pushed. If you wish to continue this, then fine, we will. But I hope you'll realize how childish you are being and sit." Tabitha proceeds to reach over for the teapot Sarette left on the table and fill up her cup.
I might have bitten off more than I can chew.
*********
Lord Rayes of Blaiton Point of View:
I look around the command tent and listen to the various nobles quarreling with one another.
"We should use long-range magic to attack their siege towers!"
“Scholl doesn’t use stall tactics; the towers are a diversion. We should send scouts out to investigate the surrounding area!”
“Then what?! Are you suggesting they spent the last two days building those towers for no reason!?”
"We should attack first and reclaim Drey!" Everyone groans and hurls insults at the lord who fled Drey for suggesting such a stupid idea.
“We need more archers around the main gate!”
“We need to spread the archers out!”
"We need fewer archers!"
I suddenly feel the need to bang my head up against my desk. It's a miracle we have men stationed on the walls in the first place. I can only hope the men's constant shifting makes it look like our forces are larger than they really are.
Standing up, I walk out of the tent with only a few people actually noticing my leaving.
Walking a ways away from the tent, I lean my head back and close my eyes, letting the spring sun wash over me.
“Things going that well, are they?” a familiar voice asks me.
“That obvious?” I turn and ask Giovanni.
Giovanni glances back at the tent we're using for a command center and frowns. "The earl appointed you to lead; why not kick them out?"
I sigh and walk toward my friend. "It isn't that easy. Unlike you, who owns his own company and can fire people on a whim, I have to contend with the other nobles in the area. Most of the people in there are in charge of the surrounding villages. They came here thinking they could earn merits in battle but are just now realizing things aren't that simple. Then there are the representatives from Yleles and high leveled warriors sent by the earl. I can kick them all out if I want to, but then it won't matter if Scholl takes the city. Have you received any word from the earl, any news about reinforcements?"
“Just more requests for alcohol and food," Giovanni disappointingly shakes his head. "Now that the city is cut off from Yleles, my branch over there is having a hard time meeting his demands." Giovanni's normally stone-faced bodyguard also looks angered by the news.
“You don’t think the earl will flee, do you?” I ask my long-time friend for his opinion. Giovanni has a knack for seeing a good business deal and knows when he should jump ship.
“Honestly?” Giovanni scans our surroundings before answering. “I wouldn’t put it past him.”
I inhale a sharp breath; I expected his answer but hearing it only brings the proverbial axe that much closer to my neck.
My family has overseen this city since it was a budding village. We were spared when the previous earl's family was removed from power, but my grandfather told me stories about how we were almost implicated for the support we gave during their reign.
"Do you have an exit strategy?" I ask him.
Giovanni gives me one of his merchant smiles. “One must be prepared for all possibilities.”
I nod in understanding. “Would the two of you care to join me on the wall?”
“Sure,” Giovanni readily agrees but not without an angry look from his bodyguard. The man has always taken his job seriously, but he has nothing to worry about; Scholl is still preparing for their offensive.
The two follow me up the ramparts until we stand above the eastern gate. In the distance, you can see Scholl assembling three war towers. I was told Scholl detests such tools, so maybe I should feel honored they broke tradition for us.
“Giovanni?”
“Yes, my friend?”
“If I should lose, could you help my family escape the city?” He doesn’t answer me right away.
…
“If it should come to that, I’ll do everything in my power to protect your family,” Giovanni finally reassures me.
“Thank you, my friend.”
"Our families have done business for years; it's the least I can do. But if I may make a suggestion?"
"Yes?" I turn to my sly merchant of a friend.
“Do your best to protect the city, but that doesn’t just mean keeping Scholl out. I’ve heard rumors from my people who stayed behind in Drey,” Giovanni leans in closer to me.
“You have my attention.”
"My people tell me Pacore is a battle maniac but not a monster. There's little chance he'll go on a slaughter should they break through the walls," Giovanni tries to reassure me.
I have to chuckle at that. The idea of Pacore sparing myself or the other nobles is a laughable one. Leaving us alive wouldn't be practical. Not that many of the men arguing below plan on being captured. They think I don’t know about their hidden men ready to help them flee the city, but I do.
"Let's hope you're right," I remark, watching Scholl move about in the distance. "Let's hope you're right."
**********
Author’s Notes:
5,900 words.
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I'm still second-guessing myself as I post this. I've always had an easy time deciding how I want a chapter to progress, but this one! Gods of writing help me.
Please tell me what you think below and vote whether or not you think I should take some more time and redo it.
Is it all in my head, or does the chapter need some TLC?
Thanks for reading, and as always, stay safe.
Comments
Monika Djomi
The expectations ppl have for our MC is a bit unreal. I understand the decisions she has made so far and honestly she has never been good at on the spot decisions. Like ever. She has so far only truly shone either with extensive preparations or life or death situations. Anything in between has so far been a serious weak point for her. It has been shown repeatedly in her interaction with Carmen, Roland , her parents , even the silver hand . So I am not surprised that she acted like this. What does suprise me tho is her reaction to the outcome. She is prone to just mentally braking down whenever she faces a challenge she can not seemingly overcome. But her suprise at her defeat still rubs me the wrong way. Overall I guess that what makes this chapter seemingly unacceptable for most people is how it's put together. I feel that there are other ways to have put this together without pissing off most readers. I have read many books with battle maniacs as characters but they get especially unlikable whenever they are expressed to be nothing but battle junkies. I have also complained severally about the posting schedule but it seems like change is not going to be effected anytime soon. But I'll put this word of caution out there again. If at any time people cannot trust you to keep your word then you are doing whatever you are doing wrong . I like this book but honestly I do not trust the author. And because I cannot trust you to keep your word it becomes much easier to doubt every other thing you do and it makes for a sour reading experience.
Rip Woodham
Putting my opinion out there of where this is going to go. Everything has been going too well for Pacore. He thinks he's invincible, can't lose, and just got the apprentice of his dreams. Olebert on the other hand, has been just too incompetent up till now. I suspect a trap by Olebert. The best bait; these cities, their lords, Pitz.... doesn't even know it's bait. Pacore would be captured or killed, the same courtesy he extended to Pitz not given to him, Olebert would learn of our MC and may show a dark side. Tabitha is still there. Just an idea; could be more interesting.
LootGoblin21
I'm pretty sure almost all of the comments are asking that, I think the author will go that route next chapter. I would be in line with mc character too.
Derze
is there any reason she has to sit and listen? cant she just leave?
Softserve
Only thing I can think needs work is the argument scene, I can't help think back to the lord of the rings where they were discussing if they would go to Moria or not. Each would express their opinions and back them up with their reasons and dispute each other's reasons before it devolved into shouting.
Alonzo garcia
Some POV shifts in stories are done exceptionally well . While others.. primal hunter . Are done carelessly and leave us dragging ourselves across multiple chapters we could care less about . I do quite enjoy yours . Pacore is actually a nice character to read. Btw not sure if you should have a poll like that after the chapter is posted . It makes predisposed, That’s it’s gonna suck
Gil
This guy is 100% right
Kelan
Solid chappy to be honest, although i see why some people might find the other pov's a nice change of pace, personally I tend to only enjoy pov changes when it still involves the mc so I'm unable to have a proper critique on that without it being biased! Other than that I think the way the other apprentice was introduced was good! To those saying Aaliyah was acting childish even when she is technically mentally older, you have to remember she died young and in her second life was busy improving herself and training basically from birth so I'm not surprised she never learned to mature mentally since maturity doesn't come with age but with experience which obviously could be tied to age but in this case clearly isn't. I actually think she should double down here and just go back to the forge or go out and train in the forest. As much as it would be nice for her to have allies in a strange land, she shouldn't simply roll over and let every single person with even slight ties to Pacore walk over her. Besides showing some spine here might be a good thing. Especially since tabitha seems to be the one who wants to speak to Aaliyah most likely about manners or how she is supposed to act meaning there is no incentive for Aaliyah to actually sit down.
Adevna
1, it was entirely in Sandra's character to manipulate the situation in order to get her father off her back; If you'll remember, he's the one that was being difficult. She's also pregnant with Richard's child, and still living with her parents. Sandra's the daughter of a politician and a socialite that is also one of the rare people with magical talent. She's predisposed to schemes. Aaliyah has been manipulating people since she was a baby. She'd definitely be fine with that plot. 2, I think Aaliyah and the disciple just don't see eye-to-eye on the situation. Most people in the story's world wouldn't. All of them told Aaliyah to take the deal because they know exactly what it means. Aaliyah's ideas about being free are born from her old world. She's right, of course, but that doesn't mean everyone else in the new world (who know nothing other than monarchy and might-makes-right via the system) can sympathize. 3, Del has stopped being able to help Aaliyah. He might always be her Master in her mind, but he wanted her to take the deal because he knows he can't help her advance any further. Allowing her to leave is really his final way to make his Apprentice grow. It's sad, but true. 4, The Emperor wouldn't do that. If anything, he'd protect them from others that might. He needs to aid her to get the most levels out of her talent, but if she levels high enough to be worth that sort of investment it makes her unbelievably dangerous to cross. Through skills, anything is possible. So there's no contract or measure that would be sufficient to control someone that powerful, other than their willing compliance. So you want to be their friend, not their tyrant.
Scyfe
Was a pretty solid set up chapter in my opinion, not really too exciting but setting the stage for the plot to move forward. That said the interactions between the knight and Aaliyah felt weird - The knight shouldn't have started by antagonizing her as presumably, she should be able to infer that she is important by how Pacore is treating her. There's no reason for Aaliyah to act childish so childish - she's roughly 35+ years old overall at this point, and there is no reason for the knight to think just sitting still is a good plan when Aaliyah has no obligation to wait there or listen to her and can just walk out. Entire interaction just comes off a bit weird
Lesley Douglas
In order to give you solid advice, we would need to know what you were planning on accomplishing with the chapter and where it was suppose to go. The only real part I had issue with was Sandra, and her plot to live with Richard. I think it was disrespectful and the fact the MC went along with it, I felt was not true to her character and she nor Richard would do that to her parents. Honestly, I hope MC wins the battle of wills with her senior disciple or MC will find herself bogged down with traditions and expectations she does not want or need. If it was me I would wait 5 minutes then turn and walk out. Saying I am a work class stiff who has no time to deal with Lady knights and their tea. I might have to play these games with Deathless but I don't with you. Are you phasing Master out of the story, it seems as if it is returning slowly to his pre Aaliyah days, or is he mulling over moving with his student. Aaliyah parents maybe share their thoughts on why they are following her to Scholl. Have, they thought of the dangers to them, to be used to insure Aaliyah's compliance if not by deathless but others she does not have a contract with. I know he would protect them but is he willing to betray the new king for them?
Tyler
Master told me how magicite is rare in large quantities but exactly hard to find in general." I think you mean. not exactly hard to find in general.
BlodWedd
It's a bit stiff with all the POV's but transion chapter tend to be like this be advice just move on if in a couple of chapters you want to revise then do it
Fullfirewall
With how fine this chapter is it begs the question, how ambitious were you about this chapter? I have a few inklings of what could be more but without what specific parts are causing discomfort I can't really pinpoint what might be an issue.
ShadeByTheSea
honestly the chapter seems fine to me :/
tibbish
Yeah the chapter is solid. Just some self doubt that is making your self sabotage a bit there
Andrew
Thank you!
Docnox
I also see little reason to write out pacore’s pov or the war narrative at all. The story is about Aly, we learn when she learns. Stick with your MC.
Melting Sky
This chapter is perfectly fine. As far as setup chapters go, it's solid. After finishing a chapter, it isn't a bad idea to come back fresh after a night's rest and do a single quick pass to reflect a little on your work and make some minor revisions. It is however poison for your mind when you begin to constantly second guess yourself and fixedly worry about how others will receive your work. As the old adage goes, if you constantly try to please everyone, you will end up pleasing no one. Write the story YOU want to write. Don't second guess yourself worrying about whether or not your readers will be pleased. It is a vicious circle that will undermine your creative process and worse yet it will poison your will to keep on writing. You will come to hate the process of creating which is the worst possible outcome for any sort of creator whether they be an author, artist, or even a blacksmith. If you just keep at it your writing skills will become polished by time and experience whereas if you fixate on the small flaws and blemishes or random people's complaints it will destroy your ability to create at all because you will come to resent it.
Aclys
I'll echo the sentiment of everyone else, the chapter is a fine step forwards providing progression and perspectives from the main players of the story right now (that we have partaken of, giving us the perspective of the actual leaders of each nation would spoil things no doubt, interesting as it would be to read). There's a bunch of interesting little bits and tasty nuggets of new information about the world mixed in with the introduction of a new character, I have no real complaints at all.
Chris Robinson
This chapter is fine, I thunk yoy might be beung overly critical of your own work
Soundlesssteps
In Aaliyah's position, I would try to force Tabitha's hand by heading into the forest. Tabitha is obviously loyal and letting her go into the forest unguarded would run counter to Pacore's direct orders. A Level 90 guard would be just as good as the armor Aaliyah planned to have, and would finally give her a chance to practice Devour Soul.
Elliot
I actually really loved this chapter. I think you’re doing such a marvelous job of making every single character complex and interesting. This is one of the biggest reasons I love your story. And the world building you have been doing in recent chapters is really amazing, I love what you are creating. My only concern for this story is that you feel too much pressure from the schedule that’s been set that you feel like you’re behind. I can’t speak for others, but I’m here because I think the story is good, not because it is released at a specific time every week. Regardless, I like how the story and characters are progressing. Keep up the good work!
Black Unicorn
I could see it if the it's a reincarnation story where the MC died OLD like 80+ or was some kind of scientist or engineer then it's ok they have age or training to show why they are that way but a 30 year old office lady NOPE not seeing that one ever being real.
Black Unicorn
I agree and disagree at the same time. This is a VARY VARY good setup chapter but i think a few tweaks could make it a bit better, although some of them are adding words you missed or using a better word to convey what you want to say. I'd give it 97 out of 100 for setup chapters... but to be honest I've never seen a perfect one yet in the over 2500 book's I've read in the last 28 years so it's not really worth fixing other then the like 2 misspelled or missing words you had that i saw i just hope you keep up the level you always have it at this one just exceeds that level so great job on an awesome chapter.
Infinate Fail
I dont like the constant pov change. I would rather we get a chapter per pov, than 1/3rd of each, requiring 3 chapters just to get some progress. Instead we get 3 cliff hangers a chapter!
Stian Douglas Hillgaar
Ok chapter. Miss abit her insight into finding New ways to train her stats. I mean she has her extra detailed perception on stat progression...
Inphelia
I thought the chapter was ok. It doesnt have to be action all the time, or it becomes exhausting to read. And for all the people saying the MC is acting childish: she is kinda still very young so thats to be expected :D If I ever have to read another story with a super hyper logical always perfect child MC it will be one to many.
Steven Palmer
Loved it,. It was an easy steady flow and painted an easy picture of the situation! Great chapter
Imspinnennetz
I wonder if Pacore should use General Pitz as bait to get the defenders to sally out if the towers do not work.
HardhatDoozer
Really the threads are here: - engraving ink - siege of Blaiton - marriage of Sandra and Richard - who is Aaliyah’s new mentor and what are they like. So I endorse this chapter.
HardhatDoozer
And Tabitha can surely help scratch her training itch. So forced or not this is a great path forward for Aaliyah. If you notice even she knows that there are plenty of common knowledge gaps she has and could use to learn about. I’m sure Tabitha could help with those too.
HardhatDoozer
The suggested rule that the MC is in every chapter for at least part of it is sound. We always love reading about Aaliyah. Pitt, Pacore, Grey and Giovanni took a while to warm up to. That’s fine. I really appreciated this chapter.
1536539
I have to say the MC is being a petulant child, I think it is about time for her to grow and mature mentally, I mean her behavior is completely emotional and does not logically benefit her in any way, weather she wishes to antagonize pacore or not the logical thing to do would be to lay low until she has more strength/information/tricks up her sleeve.
1536539
“Proverbal” Proverbial
Justin
I liked it. You might be over thinking things and just need to go with your gut. Sometimes a mediocre chapter is required to progress the story OR a few leading chapters prior to getting to the excitement. Everything can't always be exciting. My only thought is to break it apart with a Padcore chapter and a separate MC chapter. That way you can get through each part with continuity. I felt like I wanted more from both storylines here. But still enjoyable.
I feel since this is a setup chapter it would take more "thought" than others maybe expand with a second setup chapter or expand on this one. The only incongruity I felt in this chapter was the fact you switch from mc chapter to Blaiton front back to mc then back to Blaiton front. Even then it wasn't an issue because there was a time skip with the mc and different povs with the Blaiton front. Overall it was a picture perfect setup chapter. Setup chapters are not the most exciting but probably the most important world build chapters. I do really look forward with what you do with the "showdown with Tabitha. Personally I would find it kind of funny or interesting if Aaliyah went all in on the confrontation. For example if she just popped into her soul to pass time (if she could go into it standing up) or something different. She might feel super embarrassed after this whole showdown is down but it would really put her on the same stubborn level as Pacore in everyone's mind against her most dire wishes.
The other DB
The feather is a display of their power/rank. They talked about it before the siege at the fort.
Osprey36
I think the issue you might be struggling with is that you know you want this to end in a certain way, but you are trying to make it get there in a way that is convincing to the readers. For that I applaud you, since it could easily be hand waived away in the background but you want to show us how it all goes down.
andrew
I think the chapter was very good jt helped to flesh out the world building a little bit. Would be cool to see in the future a little more about the different styles like why pacore and tabitha have feathers in their hair and if it has any meaning
The other DB
She is childish, but I attribute it to taking out her frustration on the nearest outlet. I hope to see some character growth, maybe spending time surrounded by more talented and powerful people will have an impact.
Jon
Thanks for the chapter. I see nothing wrong with it.
Tetsuki
Actually that was the worst threat ever... Waiting 2 days? Where is the mc obligated to even listen to her? The attitude is just annoying. She could just leave, her problem if she doesn't want to talk. And mc is a bit childish this chapter. A very aggressive approach to someone you will probably have to spend time with.
Mike G.
"breath, dear." -> breathe
Straven
I personally loved it quite a bit, I know there's going to be quit the quite fighting going on between these two apprentices and I personally am thinking I'm going to quite enjoy it! Plus that little maneuver in where she would be roomed while the newest member of the village stayed was absolutely delicious!!!!! Nice way to move in with her fiancé vs staying with her family! Oh and of course thank you so very much for this great chapter, I loved reading through it and know I'll be enjoying the future even more!
Nick
Thanks for the chapter
Nick
Yeah pretty much
J3_Haustkottr
On a first read, nothing really jumps out at me as being wrong with it. That said, there's also nothing wrong with putting in some extra work until you're satisfied with it, so, as much as I always want to see what happens next, I say go with your instincts.
Dikfor
Master told me how magicite is rare in large quantities but exactly hard to find in general missing the word -not-
Kosnik4
Corrections
