Magic_Smithing
patreon
Ch: 64
🕑 Added 2020-11-16 02:34:20 +0000 UTCGeneral Emily Pitz’s Point of View:
Like a specter, I glide across the rocky ground, hugging the canyon wall. The loose terrain doesn’t slow me down in the least as I climb the steep canyon walls.
I’m nearing Scholl’s camp as I come up to the first lookout position I scouted before they arrived. I personally searched for the best vantage points for our scouts to use while keeping in mind they might need an escape route should they be discovered.
Our scouts and Scholl’s have had multiple run-ins with each other, but even though their scouts out leveled ours, it was thanks to my planning that our scouts were always able to escape entrapment.
This isn't good; I bend over and inspect the ground.
It’s faint, but I can see traces of someone approaching from the side and which direction they came from. The whole area has been swept clean, but my skills can pick out the minute details they missed. Whoever attacked did so without our scout having time to react. There wasn't a struggle, and based on the hidden drag patterns, they removed the body when they were finished.
I move onto the next spot and the next only to find the same hidden signs as I inspect each of vantage in turn.
If Scholl thought it needed to move against our scouts like this, they must be planning something big.
As a general, I should turn around and assign a unit to investigate rather than risk proceeding further by myself, but as someone used to acting as the scout, I know I’m the only one fit to figure out what Scholl has planned.
I activate Silent Footsteps and Hide Presence before I move forward. Thanks to my family's resources, I've always had a higher level than people my own age, so I've never had to be stealthy, leaving both of my skills at a low level. The only reason I have these two skills is so I can approach magic beasts that have already tried to run away from me.
I slowly creep along the canyon wall, scanning Scholl’s camp for anything new. I spot a few new fortifications they’ve slowly been building up but not much else.
Pushing farther into the canyon, I reach our scouts farthest vantage point that overlooks the first significant bend. The canyon isn't one strait ravine; it twists and turns through the rock.
“Shit!” I immediately curse. “That’s why they killed our scouts.”
Steadily moving across the canyons rocky floor is an army of Scholl reinforcements. I spot at least twenty thousand soldiers filling their way closer to Scholl's camp. That’s double the size of the forces they first sent to take the fort!
If we knew they were coming just an hour ago, we might have been able to send a small magic squad to ambush them, but they're too close now.
The fortifications Scholl has been constructing were only a front to make us think they were digging in for a long fight, while their reinforcements were on their way the whole time.
Turning around, “I need to get back to the fort and ready…”
My Danger Sense rings in my ears, and I immediately throw myself to the side. My keen eyes track a steel blade as it flashes inches away from my throat.
The assassin that materialized out of nowhere doesn’t let up just because his first strike missed. His figure blurs as he activates a movement skill and tries to flank me from my left. His duel daggers held in a reverse grip are aimed at any of the seams in between my armor.
I can tell just by his movements that he’s around level 90, someone even I have to be wary of.
Assassins are known to employ poisons, and even a single nick from his blade can be troublesome for me.
He expertly closes the distance between us and keeps me on my back foot, trying to keep me from drawing one of my arrows.
This is why I prefer to hunt magic beasts; they don’t have strategies to deal with me the first time we meet.
The assassin uses his movement skill again to keep pressuring me, not caring how quickly he’s burning through his Stamina. If he gives me a single opening or hesitates for a moment, I’ll be able to hit him with an arrow.
Unfortunately, my wait and see approach is quickly discarded when my senses pick up three more people rapidly approaching us from all directions. And I highly doubt it’s my missing men.
Even if the assassin’s backup aren’t as high leveled as him, having to deal with another three close-range fighters isn’t to my specialty.
I’ll have to pay a price to kill my opponent before this becomes more complicated.
Continuing to dodge his whirlwind of blade strikes, I activate Fast Hands. In one flawless motion, I'm able to retrieve an arrow from my quiver. The assassin presses harder, not giving me the chance to nock my arrow.
All I need is a single opening.
I shift my stance to my back leg, but the ground underneath shifts from my spontaneous movement. My stance crumbles as I start to fall backwards.
The assassin doesn't miss the opportunity and swings his left blade at my exposed neck. I bring up my bow and deflect his first strike, only to have him attack a second time with his right blade. I try to block his second strike with the arrow in my other hand, but I can't…
I feel the assassins dagger rub up against my neck.
Quickly channeling my mana, a cracking sound like shattering glass rings out from my arm. One of the three gems on my right bracer cracks and crumbles to pieces, instantly sending a healing wave of mana throughout my body. Before his dagger’s blade even leaves my neck, the wound is already closing.
Using the arrow in my right hand, I copy the assassins strike and jab my impromptu weapon into his own throat. With my Strength, the arrowhead slices through his neck, and the tip pokes out the back. I rip the arrow back out, opening up a wider hole in the assassins’ throat.
I watch as panic quickly flickers through my opponent's eyes. His high stats ensure he remains alive just long enough to realize he’s going to die.
Even though I delt a mortal blow to the assassin and everything went according to my plan, I’m still falling backwards with more enemies soon to arrive.
Taking my bow and stabbing it into the ground, I use my Strength to reorientate myself. I flip backwards and land on my feet in time to watch the assassin fall to the ground in a bloody mess. With a quick tug, I yank my bow out of the rock and knock the bloody arrow.
I release my shot as soon as the first Scholl soldier appears around a corner. His level doesn’t match his deceased counterpart, and my arrow easily pierces his chest, bulls-eyeing his heart.
I don’t wait for the other two approaching soldiers to show up, choosing to rush back to the fort immediately.
Through the corner of my eye, I see a few of Scholl's battalions setting up to launch siege spells and arrows in my direction.
And here I thought I wasn’t noticed.
I draw in a huge breath of air and push my body to its limit. My limbs are slowly going numb, meaning the assassin was using a poisoned blade, and it's strong enough to bleed through my Poison Resistance skill.
I watch the first siege fireball spell sore through the air and explode behind me. Even suffering through the poison, I'm still too fast for them to lock on with such slow-moving spells.
The next fireball is already on its way, but just like the last time, I'll…
All at once, I feel a quarter of my remaining Stamina being drained away, causing me to slow!
“Shit, I know this feeling!” I curse.
I activate a magic ring on my left hand, and the stamina drain stops. The fireball is closing in on me, and this time it’s close enough that the blast will hit me. Activating my movement skill, Long Leap, I make it out of the spells blast radius just in time.
“Who brings a hex mage on a military campaign?” I protest.
The same people who brought an assassin capable of harming me, that’s who. Hex mages focus on debuff magic that works with line of sight. Even the highest leveled hex mages can only cast small area of effect spells, making them worthless in a siege.
That means they’re here solely to deal with me. If I were any slower killing the assassin, the hex mage probably would've had time to curse me during the fight.
I keep running, but I scan Scholl's forces again, looking for anyone sporting a feather like the assassin or commanders I saw leading their reinforcements. A hex mage able to curse me at this distance is definitely over level 80.
But sadly, no one stands out.
A few arrows from high leveled archers reach up the canyon walls, but I easily dodge them.
Once I have a generous distance between me and Scholl's camp, they stop wasting their mana and arrows, knowing they won’t be able to hit me.
Racing back to the fort, I feel my limbs become heavier and notice they aren’t responding as they should. My bracelet has three; no, now two charges left. Each can send a strong wave of healing mana throughout my body instantly but only to close wounds. I wish I had an artifact to cure poison, but Poison resistant artifacts are rarer than their healing counterparts because poisons vary to such a degree. You could be covered in head to toe in artifacts, and you could still be affected by a poison you weren't prepared for.
I've fought many magic beasts that use poison, and my resistance skill is pretty strong, yet my body is still shutting down on me.
I see the walls of the fort growing bigger as my vision starts to become fuzzy. Using the last of my Stamina and Strength, I launch myself up onto the ramparts.
I vaguely hear voices around me, but I can't make out what they're saying. "Poison! Get the medical corps," I wheeze out.
Remaining still, I enter a meditative state. The more I can reduce my heart rate; the less the poison will spread.
Scholl was more than enough prepared for me, ambushing me with such a potent poison and making sure I struggle to run away.
I feel a prick on my forearm and targeted healing magic applied to my body. Healing magic for poisons is a nasty business. The foreign healing magic subverts my mana network and gathers all my infected blood in my body, and pulls it to the opening in my arm.
Because I had to move so much after being stabbed, the poison spread through most of my body, and if it wasn't for my high Vitality removing the poison itself could kill me.
I start to feel my arms and legs again, and my head becomes clear enough to listen to the people gathered around me.
“General, are you alright!?” Cristopher’s panicked voice rings the loudest in my ears.
“Will you be quiet! I’m trying to work,” the healer sitting next to me berates my steward.
“That’s a lot of blood.”
“Do you think she’ll be alright?”
By the sound of it, more than one soldier is close by.
My vision is the last of my senses to return.
“General Pitz!” Cristopher exclaims when I finally open my eyes again.
“Will you stop yelling, you’re giving me a headache,” I snap at him.
“How do you feel?” The female healer asks me.
She has a mage’s star on her chest, meaning she's one of the fort's senior healers. "I'm light-headed from the blood loss," I tell her.
"That's to be expected. It's amazing you're alive in the first place." She says, remaining focused on the incision on my left arm. A nearby bucket is filled with black blood, and a second is close to filling up as she drains more from my system.
“Cristopher, is the fort on high alert?”
“General, you should remain still. I haven’t finished your treatment yet,” the healer urges me.
I ignore her suggestion and stare at Cristopher until he answers me. “Yes, general. The fort and the supply corps in Teeburn are on alert. What happened to you?” He nervously asks.
“Scholl has reinforcements marching through the canyon, maybe twenty thousand strong.” Everyone around us gasps at the news. “They must have assumed if they took out all our scouts, I would be the one to investigate. They had a high leveled assassin and a hex mage for support.” I watch traces of fear flicker across everybody’s faces, even the healer losses control of her magic for a moment.
“How far are they out?” Cristopher inquires.
"Maybe an hour or two. I don't know if they're well-rested or not," I tell him.
“That means they can attack us in as little time as four hours or any time after that.” He darkly remarks.
“Scholl isn’t known for their patience. I’d say they’ll attack sooner rather than later.” I inform Cristopher. "Go double-check everything around the fort and send word to the supply corps and our reinforcements. We need them to pick up their pace."
Cristopher sends me a worried look before taking off.
“How much longer until you’re done?” I ask the healer.
"Would the general prefer it if I rush the process?" I'm a little taken back by her blunt attitude, but I can respect it. It’s been a while since someone hasn’t cringed at the sight of me. I wonder if it’s because she could use her magic to siphon the rest of the blood from my body that she’s not scared of me?
I look away from her, not answering the superfluous question. The few other soldiers standing around me do flinch when I meet their eyes. "What are you all standing around for? We're on high alert; get back to your posts." My lips form a small smile as they trip over one another to rush back to their posts.
Only one soldier remains because he’s supposed to be stationed where I collapsed. He walks over to the wall and watches Scholl’s camp, trying to distract himself from his bloody superior lying on the ramparts behind him.
I feel a different wave of mana enter my body and feel my arm closing. "You're not completely healed; I only removed the poison." The healer tells me with a sober expression. A quick check reveals half my Health is gone. "I noticed your body was recently exposed to a concentrated form of healing magic. Because of that, your Health will be slow to recover for the rest of the day.” Great, more good news.
Healing magic is truly a blessing, but it can't perform divine miracles. Each time a person is exposed to large amounts of healing magic, the body becomes slow to recover. Not the ideal situation with an army at your gates. "Is there anything you can do to speed up the process?"
The healer has the gall to actually frown at me. “I can put you to sleep? Studies have shown people heal faster while they’re sleeping.” I can’t help but frown myself. Did Scholl plan it this way, reducing my fighting capabilities before they even start their attack?
The healer raises her hands and chants a spell under her breath. A massive wave of white light cleans up the bloody mess I left behind, including the stains on my clothes. "Is there anything else I can help you with, general?" The healer stands up and dusts the black flakes from her clothes.
“What is your name?” I ask her as I slowly stand up.
“I’m Senior Healer Elease, general.” She promptly tells me. No last name meaning she joined the army as a commoner.
“Thank you for saving me, Elease.”
“Your high Vitality saved you, I mealy did my job. If the general is better now, may I return to the infirmary? I have a feeling we’ll be busy soon.” She asks in a no-nonsense voice.
“You may go,” I dismiss her.
She moves over to the stone steps leading to the courtyard but stops at the foot of the stairs and turns to me. “Please be careful, general. Few people openly say it, but it’s your presence here that gives everybody hope.”
Elease doesn’t wait for me to answer and makes her way down the steps. “Cheeky girl, does she not know I’m over double her age? If anything, I should be worrying about her, not the other way around.”
I put her out of my mind and stand up towards Scholl's camp. Scholl's entire base is shifting; the fortifications they've thrown up the last couple of weeks are being laid down in sections, being transformed into leveled campsites for their reinforcements. How could I have missed that?
I lean up against the stone watchtower and watch Scholl’s forces slowly gather as the fort around me becomes an ant hive of activity.
I won't say it out loud, but we're at the mercy of Scholl's forces, and all I can do is watch.
The fort's mood begins to plummet as people spread word of how many more Scholl soldiers arrived. We've bolstered our numbers through recruiting locals but our forces only near three thousand.
It will be a miracle if Scholl simply doesn’t charge our gates with their numbers.
**********
I lean back in my chair in my office. I am looking between my captain's and squad leaders nervously shifting their feet during an impromptu morning meeting.
“What are they waiting for? It’s been almost sixteen hours; why aren't they attacking us?" A squad leader says what's on all of our minds. Maybe Scholl’s forces were more tired from their journey than I thought possible.
“Anything important to report, Cristopher?” I ask my steward.
He shakes his head, "I'm sorry, general, but there is nothing to report. Their army has long settled in. They didn't so much as test our defenses yesterday."
"Maybe we can wait them out until our reinforcements arrive?" A captain, hopefully, remarks. There’s no possibility of that happening.
But why are they waiting to attack? I've nearly recovered to my full strength. After all the effort they put into trying to kill me, I'd thought they'd charge the gates as soon as they settled. What can they be planning?
Everyone in the room has their head snap up when we hear the signal bell being wrung. I stand up from my desk, “Everyone, take up your positions.” The captain’s and squad leaders rush out my door to their battle stations.
I take the faster route and hop directly out my office window and onto the nearby ramparts. My Stamina and Health are hovering around 80%, but at least I've gained full motor control back.
Leaping over soldiers hurrying to their positions, I make my way to one of the central towers that looks over the canyon.
In the distance, I can see Scholl’s entire forces are mobilizing in mass.
They’re forming two ranks of soldiers with a large divide separating the two.
With my visual skills, I can see that they've adopted their previous style of organizing their forcers. At the front of the two forces are individuals with feathers adorning their uniforms. Some wear their feathers in hats while others have them clipped to their chests.
One, two… eight people are sporting feathers. Eight individuals above level 80, fuck me. And judging from that assassin earlier, I doubt they're in the low 80’s either.
**********
Master Pacore the Deathless’ Point of View:
“Tellis, are our forces ready?” I ask the nervous commander as I stretch out my old joints.
“Yes, Master Pacore, our men are in formation and waiting on your orders,” he tells me.
“Good, any sign of General Pitz?”
“Our scouts place her on top of one of their towers.”
“Tell me, Tellis. Does she look ready for battle?” I look over at the man with a smile on my face.
His face loses a bit of color. “She has her bow and looks to be standing strong.”
“That’s excellent!” I can’t help but laugh.
Tellis looks like he swallowed something bitter until he works up the courage to ask me what’s on his mind. “Master Pacore, if I may, why didn’t we attack after the general was injured? We could’ve taken the fort soon after our reinforcements arrived."
“We could’ve,” I casually remark.
“Then why didn’t we?” Tellis asks, disbelief written all across his face.
“Because that wouldn’t have been sporting of us, now would it?” I tell Tellis with a savage grin plastered on my face.
“But Zikeil, he was one of our strongest men; why send him to kill the general in the first place?" Tellis stutters.
I slowly walk over to the inexperienced commander. He visibly cowers as I near him, until I'm standing over him. "I told you I would take you under my wing, so let me explain something to you. During the war, you don't have to just worry about your enemy; you have to worry about who is standing with you as well. You weren’t officially appointed as a commander, meaning until I showed up, your allegiance was in question."
“I would never turn on Scholl!” Tellis cries out.
"I never said you'd betray Scholl; I said your allegiance was in question." Tellis gives me a confused look, so I explain. "You should know our countries customs, the strong stand over the week and lead. Our king is the highest leveled person in our kingdom, but he is old. That may sound funny coming from someone as old as me, but I was around when the previous king passed. Different fractions centered around the highest leveled people in our kingdom are readying themselves for when the king passes, regardless of the problem our kingdom is facing.”
“When you took over the forces here, people started to notice you. Whoever was appointed by his majesty would meet with you first and pull you into their fraction.” Tellis finally realizes what I’m saying. “Zikeil was sent by another fraction to silence you during our siege on the fort. So, I sent him to test our opponent. If he succeeded, taking the fort would be child's play, and when he failed, it was simply one less person I had to watch during the fighting.”
“So, now I’m in your fraction?” Tellis hesitantly asks.
“You can say that.”
"Then, does that mean you wish to be the next king?" He asks wide-eyed.
I scoff at the idea. “Do kings get to step onto the battlefield?” I shake my head in disgust at the idea. “I serve the same king I’ve served for over a hundred years now, and I'll continue to serve his bloodline until I finally experience death. Serving under me means you serve the king's oldest son Kaliks Ven Heltan future leader of Scholl. Do you have any objections to that?" I ask, Tellis, not concealing my bloodlust.
“May the Heltan family forever rule Scholl,” he proclaims, dropping to one knee.
“Good, now go get everything ready while I make my final preparations,” I order him.
“Right away, Master Pacore,” I watch my new subordinate rush out of the tent.
There is one more reason I waited to take the fort; I think to myself as I adjust my equipment. General Pitz was able to kill Zekil and escape my hex mage proving she could put up a decent fight. When I make my entrance, she'll be forced to confront me, and I want her at her best.
I had Tellis spread the word that I wanted everybody rested for our big push today, which should’ve bought the general enough time to recover from her injuries, at least I hope so.
Now that I’m here, the fort is all but guaranteed to fall under our control. And it’s been so long since I had a decent fight, someone capable of making me bleed.
Pitz didn’t use one of her specialty arrows against Zekil or take a shot at our approaching forces when she had the chance. Most likely, she's out of her expensive arrows. The one we recovered from the soldier's corpse was amazing at channeling magic but wasn’t on par for someone like General Pitz.
I hope she proves me wrong.
Throwing my special cloak over myself and activating each of my magic items, my body starts to turn translucent before disappearing completely. I slip through my tent flaps, heading for my position at the front of the army. "Let the fun begin," I chuckle to myself.
**********
General Emily Pitz’s Point of View:
“They’re moving closer,” Cristopher mumbles.
“I can see that,” I tell him in an even tone.
“Your orders, mam?” Cristopher looks at me like he’s expecting me to pull a miracle out of my ass.
“Send word to our best archers and the mage divisions to target the feather wearing bastards at the front. They'll be protected with magic and other defenses, but each we manage to kill will deliver a serious blow to the enemy. And contact Norah, tell her I want my arrow, whether it’s done or not.” I confidently rattle off some quick orders.
Cristopher is happy to revive my orders and quickly runs off to complete them. If only he knew how bleak I thought the situation is.
I don't have the heart to tell him I'm not confident in repelling Scholl this time. I'm not entirely recovered yet, and I'm out of my special arrows. I might score a lucky hit on the weaker soldiers, but even I won't be able to punch through the feathered commanders’ defenses with Aaliyah's regular arrows.
The only way I'll be able to do any significant damage is to leave the safety of the fort and challenge their higher-level forces at closer ranges, which is, of course, the worst way for me to use my skill set.
The world appears to slow around me as Scholl’s forces slowly march towards the fort in their weird formation. At some point, Cristopher returned with my enchanted arrow, but I sent him off to coordinate with the other units. I can feel the nervousness radiating from my men increase as Scholl's army's full size becomes apparent.
I’ve already given out my orders.
Everyone knows to hold their fire until after the first few of Scholl’s ranks enter our range. I myself have already picketed my target, A middle-aged man wielding two swords with a red feather pinned to his chest. As Scholl approaches, I notice their smiling faces.
Even as the feathered individuals enter our range, they continue strolling confidently forward. If I had just one more of my special arrows, I could wipe those smirks clean off their faces.
If they think this fort will fall without a fight, then they're sadly mistaken.
More and more of their faces get closer to our fort, only stopping when their mage units are in range to return fire on us.
A silence falls over the fort and is mimicked by Scholl's army. I notice most of the feathered individuals leading Scholl's army are watching me like they're waiting for me to make the first move.
“So be it,” I say to myself.
I raise my left hand straight up into the air and point at the invading army. A horn signals behind me, and every one of my soldiers on the walls release everything they have all at once.
In one motion, I draw and knock my first arow, only activating two of my skills as not to obliterate the projectile. I draw my bow back halfway and release my arrow with everybody else.
As a storm of arrows and magic sail across the open sky, I watch closely, hoping to pinpoint their barrier mages to target later.
Only Scholl's armies remain steadfast in their positions, and not a single counterspell comes to life.
What are they?
Suddenly I feel something shift in the air, and every arrow and siege spell we fired starts to turn mid-flight.
All our projectiles are drawn to the front of the gap, separating Scholl's forces.
Over a thousand arrows converge on a single spot, followed closely by a rain of fire. The resulting explosion rings in everybody’s ears. “How did they!?” I curse out loud. Is it a spell formation or something they secretly buried there?
I stare at the resulting crater, mouth agape.
My trained eyes pick out a ripple in the air.
In the crater's center, a man removes a cloak that now has multiple holes in it. It must have been a magic device meant to make someone invisible. I was so focused on the feathered soldiers; I didn’t inspect the divide.
My heart starts beating rapidly as I take the measure of the man that just tanked our first volley singlehandedly.
Standing a respected 5’ 10’’, the man looks ancient. He has short grey hair and a grey beard lined with multiple feathers. He's wearing no armor yet doesn't have a scratch on him.
Our eyes meet for a moment across the battlefield, and I get the impression I'm looking at a living mountain.
Fuck!
There's only one person he can be. Pacore the Deathless, the oldest, and one of the highest leveled people on the continent. Survivor of too many conflicts to even count. Pacore is known as Scholl’s ace.
“Hit them again!” I hear Cristopher shout in the distance.
Another volley of arrows is sent towards Scholl's forces, and just like last time, they’re all drawn to Pacore.
Another explosion happens, but this time Pacore walks out of the fireball before the flames can completely disperse.
Every one of Scholl’s soldiers starts cheering at the display.
So that’s Pacore’s tier 5 skill, the ability to draw in attacks. He’s the only man who could use such a skill. His build is legendary, and none have been able to replicate it.
It’s well known that Pacore has only distributed his points into Endurance and Vitality. The only way a build like that can grow is with the support of others. His estimated Vitality is over 500, and his Endurance is even more ridiculous at over 800. The man needs other people to charge his magic items for him, but because of that, he's never distributed a single point in any of his other stats.
Pacore slowly raises his hands, and all of his soldiers stop cheering. I notice a quick flash of light on his left hand before his voice booms out for everyone to hear. "General Pitz, surrender the fort, and you have it on my honor you and your men may retreat. If not, come out and face me. If you don't, I'll stand here and take everything your men can dish out. And we will take the fort without substring any injuries!”
“Come out!” Every one of Scholl’s soldiers starts to chant.
Our men are frozen in place, and I can feel Cristopher rapidly approaching me. "General," he strains to call out to me over the chanting. "You can't! You saw what that monster did; you won't be able to beat him!" Cristopher says in a panic.
“Ready!” Pacore shouts out. His men stop chanting and ready their weapons. His mages are channeling their mana for their first barrage.
Our own mages hastily erect their own defenses. A few people try shooting more arrows, but each is drawn to Pacore. I heard his skill only requires him to focus, but I have no idea how he keeps it activated for so long. He can keep it active indefinitely for all I know, and we really won't be able to touch his men.
“Cristopher!” I shout to grab his attention.
“General?”
"From here on out, you're in charge," I tell him.
“What!?” Cristopher shouts in disbelief, but he’s not the only one. The communications mage behind him and the other men on the tower stare at me, shocked as well.
"No matter what happens to me, you're to defend the fort. I'll distract Pacore while you deal with his men. As soon as we start fighting, send everything we have at them,” I tell him emotionlessly.
“You can’t; you'll die," Cristopher immediately rejects my plan.
I ignore him and turn to one of the other archers on the tower. "Your quiver, soldier." I hold out my hand. He silently hands me his arrows, and I pull out all the best ones Aaliyah made and filled up my quiver. I won't have a chance to grab more latter.
Cristopher continues to hound me as I make my way over to the wall. I jump on top of the ledge and look across Scholl's army. I feel two hands grab my ankles. Looking back, Cristopher is now trying to hold me in place.
“Let go,” I tell him. Cristopher shakes his head in refusal.
The usual snarky look on Cristopher's face is gone, replaced with a look of deep concern for my well-being. It's almost enough to make me want to reconsider.
I send a quick jab with my bow to his chest, causing him to let go of me and fall backwards. Without looking back, I hop off of the tower. I hope I didn’t hurt him too much. I ponder as I fall to the canyon floor. I never thought I would grow so attached to having the annoying man around. But he was an excellent subordinate despite his personality quirks and the fact he was sent to keep an eye on me.
I gracefully land on the rough ground.
Every frontline soldier in Scholl's army is watching me. I walk along the fort's walls in case this is all a trap, and I need to hop back up quickly.
“No one is to touch her!” Pacore roars out as he sees me nearing him.
I debate trying to kill one of the feathered people in the front but decide against it. Pacore would probably just activate his skill, and I would quickly be surrounded.
I can feel the eyes of everybody focusing on me.
Stopping 100 feet in front of Pacore, I take a better look at my opponent. He may lack armor, but I see more than a few magical items on his hands and arms. The short sword he's carrying on his side radiates a lot of magic, and I'm sure it's like my bow. He also has three vials strapped to his side.
Now that I’m closer to the man, I can see a depth of wisdom in his eyes that a man gets when he lives as long as he has. I'm considered quite old myself but nothing compared to Pacore. Despite his loose and wrinkly skin on his face, his body is in excellent condition. He's fit and doesn't have an ounce of fat on his body.
I keep Pacore in my sights while I carefully scan his ranks of men on either side of us. Where is his damn hex mage hiding?
“You don’t need to worry; I left my mage behind. No one will interfere with our fight.” Pacore smiles at me like a grandparent talking to a child.
“How generous of you,” I reply with no small amount of sarcasm and scan again, not taking his word for it.
Pacore just laughs. “Please don’t be like that. It’s rare for me to meet someone close to my level. This should be a glorious occasion for the both of us.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I send him a challenging look.
“Yes! Those are the eyes I want to see. It was agonizing waiting for you to recover.” Pacore’s laughter sends shivers down my spine.
He waited to attack, so I had time to recover! I can't help but frown when I notice he isn't trying to play mind games with me; he genuinely wants a fair duel. How sick in the head is he? This isn't a duel between two youngsters; this is a war between nations.
“It’s been so long,” he continues to rant. I relaxingly take a step back when I see his eyes. They’re the eyes of a beast that doesn’t care if it dies in battle. “I miss the days when I was younger. Charging into a battle knowing I could die, it's been so long since I last felt that alive." Pacore slowly draws his sword.
"Ready yourself, General Pitz of Olebert. Our men can handle themselves; let us enjoy ourselves!” Pacore dashes towards me, leaving himself wide open.
Horns blare on either side of me. I jump back, thinking it's a trap, but I quickly see it's just Scholl signaling their mage divisions to raise their shields now that their leader isn’t using his skill. Not one of Scholl's soldiers turns to interfere with our fight.
Mayhem erupts around us as the fighting begins.
To me, the time it takes Pacore to dash over to me is incredibly long. He has his body trained to peak performance, but that can't make up for someone's lack of stats.
I draw my first arrow and aim for Pacore's left eye; I have no intention to have an honest duel.
Releasing my fingers, a loud twang comes from my bow as my arrow sails straight to its target. I observe to see how Pacore responds.
Only he doesn’t!
The charging beast doesn’t so much as flinch as my arrow closes in on his face. The manic look on his face screams danger to my senses.
Once the arrow is an inch from his face, it's deflected by some sort of barrier. The arrow is diverted and sticks into the ground beside the charging Pacore. I quickly nock and release a second arrow, this time aimed at his heart.
Again, the arrow strikes a barrier inches from his clothing.
He's now ten feet away from me. I activate Rapid Reload and shoot the third arrow at almost point-blank range, this time aiming for his left leg. His barrier has to be from a magic item, and they usually don't cover the extremities as well as the head and torso.
“Shit!” I curse when my third strike is also deflected in the same manner. Pacore charge is stopped for a moment from the force of my arrow striking him, but he's soon running at me again.
I simply jump backwards and move out of the range of his sword, preparing another arrow.
I’m about to shoot again when I notice a siege spell heading towards me. Using my movement skill, I flash to the side right as the spell detonates. Pacore doesn’t miss his opportunity and gets within striking distance of me.
The man puts everything into his swing, sacrificing any notion of blocking a counter for more power behind his strike. His age is further highlighted with his swordplay. Though his swing is barbaric in nature, he expertly targets the small gaps in my hide armor.
I don’t risk using my bow to block his sword and instead use my Dexterity to dodge his strikes. Pacore tries to keep me from regaining my distance by pressing on the attack.
In a brief opening between his strikes, I try hitting him with another arrow in the center of his chest.
The loud ringing noise of my arrow impacting his invisible barrier at close range sounds oddly metallic. The force of my arrow caused Pacore to pause just long enough for me to gain another fifteen feet between us. I noticed when I hit him with my arrow, his boots lit up.
"I saw that," I narrow my eyes at Pacore. I usually avoid talking during a battle, but he seems like the kind of man who loves to talk, and any information I can pull out of him might help me.
Pacore smiles at me as the world around us falls deeper into the madness that is war. I use the brief pause to look around for any of his feathered officers. Even if I can land a lucky shot on one of them while they’re focused on taking the fort, Cristopher’s chances at repelling Scholl would vastly increase.
“And what is it that you think you saw?” Pacore self-assuredly asks.
Good, the longer I can draw this out, the more time I have to figure out his weak points. "Your shoes are enchanted to keep you in place. If they weren't, each of my strikes would send you tumbling back."
“Is that all?” Pacore mocks, once again charging me. “I thought a rouge of your level would prove more insightful!”
I hold my ground, counting the arrows I shot and how many remain. I've already used four of my arrows; I still have seventeen similar arrows and the special one Norah enchanted.
“Finished running!?” Pacore shouts as he nears me once again.
"Testing out another theory," I retort. Pacore looks surprised, as this time, I step into his strike. Even with his abysmal Strength stats, he can still cut me with his sword, so I strike his sword arm with my armguard, deflecting his slash.
I reach out with my free right hand towards Pacore’s face. His eyes widen further when I firmly grasp onto his invisible barrier. The familiar feeling of metal is undeniable.
I’m forced to let go and retreat when he pulls out a dagger and tries to open up my belly. This time he doesn’t immediately charge me again.
"You're full of shit; you know that," I yell at him, which only causes him to laugh. "Just like that cloak you used to make yourself invisible earlier, the armor you're wearing is also enchanted to be invisible. You make it seem like you can withstand everything with your stats alone, but you're wearing armor like everybody else."
Now that I know what to look for, I can see that his clothes are designed to hide where his invisible armor is secured to his body. No wonder he can survive a volley of siege spells and arrows. His armor takes the brunt of the damage, and his stats take care of the rest, making it appear that he can't be injured by traditional means.
I wonder if he’s really put all his points into Vitality and Endurance? His armor and other magic items have to use up an incredible amount of magic.
"And why wouldn't I wear armor? Is that against the rules?” He taunts me.
We both spring into action. I keep moving around him while Pacore chases after me; neither of us able to damage the other.
A one-sided game of cat and mouse ensues between us while siege spells detonate around us.
If he's wearing armor, then that means there have to be weak points I can exploit, I ponder.
It will just be hard to find them because his armor is invisible. I activate Rapid Shot, shooting three arrows in a tight grouping around the bottom of his neck, the area a helmet and chest piece rarely fully cover.
I carefully watch how each of my arrows bounce off his invisible armor, hopping just one will snag on an opening.
A variety of solutions filter through my mind. Maybe Pacore would die if I burred him alive or dropped him in the middle of a lake, but I doubt he doesn't have a counter for such a situation.
“You shouldn’t be frowning already,” he quips. I already regret getting him to talk. The berserking monster has the Stamina to run at me while wildly swinging his sword and talking simultaneously.
“Will you shut up unless you’re going to tell me how to kill you,” I growl at him, aiming another arrow at his throat.
“Sorry, I’ll leave that to your imagination. I’m happy to see you taking this seriously, though." This bastard, I've been serious from the start. It's him who sees this as a game.
The longer our battle continues, the worst my situation becomes. Scholl’s army is steadily inching forward, advancing on the fort’s walls, and I can see them preparing to try and scale them soon. I need to kill Pacore and return to help my men!
I send another arrow at him, this time enhanced with two of my skills, Empowered Shot and Piercing Strike. A louder ring resonates through the air when it strikes his invisible armor, and Pacore is even forced to take a step back. That was a good hit!
But my enthusiasm is quickly doused by reality. Pacore recovers with no sign that my arrow did anything to him or his armor and continues to try and make this a close-quarters fight.
I usually would be Pacore's perfect counter because of how hard I can hit when I have time to prepare. A close-range tank against a powerful archer, the archer wins 99.999% of the time.
*Bang**Bang**Bang*
A loud noise behind me draws my attention. I see Scholl has started focusing their siege spells on the fort's main gate. Oh no, I need to hurry!
“Don’t look away from me!” I turn back to Pacore in time to see him activate a movement skill, possibly Double Step. He rapidly closes the distance between us and swings his sword at my head.
I lean back, avoiding the strike, only to watch Pacore twirl in place like an awkward dancer and bring his sword back around for a second strike.
I use my Dexterity to flip backwards, narrowly avoiding his second strike. I draw and lose another arrow at the man, but at this point, it's just a token response. I've hunted lesser dragons that were easier to wound.
I jump back, expecting another strike from Pacore, but he doesn't pursue me. "This is becoming disappointing; he says with a sad look on his face. I gave you time to recover, but it looks like you aren't a challenge without your special arrows." He stops down on one of my arrows at his feet.
"When I was dispatched by my king to deal with you, I was so excited. But after listening to Tellis describe how you killed the previous commander and dealt with our forces, I questioned if you had any more of your special arrows. After the fight with our assassin, it became clear you don't."
“I can still kill you!” I gnash my teeth at him.
“No, you can’t.” My anger further erupts when I see he has the gall to actually look sad at my weakness. "You should surrender. I stand by my previous promise, surrender, and I'll spare you and your men. They won't be able to hold out for much longer, this force was assembled to take the fort, and that's what we'll do."
I scoff at the old man. “Do I appear so weak to you? Just as you were ordered to take the fort, I was sent to defend it. I’ll stop you here and then kill your men before they ever step foot past our walls,” I boldly proclaim.
A sad smile forms across Pacore's face. "As you wish. It was probably foolish for me to ask such a question. Show me your resolve General Pitz, draw blood if you can; then I'll lay you to rest.”
Pacore starts walking towards me with a blank look on his face.
Like I’ll die that easily.
If he wants me to hit him so badly, I won't disappoint him. I nock another arrow and fire it straight at his head, looking for any disturbances in his skin or hair.
I dodge one of his strikes and then aim for his chest.
I again hit him square in the chest and study the reaction his armor has on his body. His armor and sword are still brimming with magic, and I don't think they'll run out soon. When I hit his head, the hair on top of his head and his braided beard moved as one, meaning his helmet is tightly hugging his skin with small holes for his facial hair to pass through.
But when I hit his chest piece, there was a moment before his clothes moved, meaning there’s a gap between his chest piece and the cloth I see through his armor.
I need to finish this, and I only have one option left. Jumping back, I rapidly extend the distance between us. I'm far enough away that he'll still charge at me and not draw me in by reactivating his attraction skill that draws in attacks.
I take up my full stance and draw the enchanted arrow from my quiver.
Pacore isn't stupid, he sees I'm trying something big, and he's all too happy to play along. Sick bastard.
I hope Norah enchanted this arrow to be strong enough.
I start activating my skills; Steady Hands, Exceptional Aim, Enhanced Perception, Strong Bow, Perfect Draw, and Reinforce Arrow, a new skill I recently picked up after working with weaker arrows than usual. I’ve been passively using it since our fight began, but now, I can use it to its full potential.
Pacore pays no mind to what I’m doing and continues to run straight at me.
Wait for it, I repeat to myself.
Thirty feet.
Twenty feet.
Ten feet.
I wait until the last second before I activate Instantaneous Strike when Pacore is right in front of me.
A sharp wailing sound pierces my ears, as I release my bowstring.
My Mana and Stamina rapidly drop as my arrow disappears as soon as my bowstring snaps back into place. The arrow only teleports a few feet before a black arrowhead materializes right up against Pacore’s clothes.
Everything happens so fast, Pacore doesn't realize I bypassed his armor until the hole where his heart should be, starts gushing blood. The red liquid that flows from his chest is more akin to tree sap than human blood, clotting to the naked eye.
Pacore starts to buckle forward.
I did it!
I…..
Pacore looks up at me with blood dripping from his mouth with a smile of ecstasy. He steps forward, and with a flick of his wrist, he runs me through with his sword before I can react.
I helplessly look down at the blade that’s skewering me through the stomach and collapse to my feet.
“That was a good hit,” I barely hear Pacore’s words.
I channel my remaining mana to the healing bracelet on my wrist. The two remaining magic gems shatter, and a large wave of healing mana washes through my body.
I can still fight.
I move to stand up and pull the blade out of myself, but my body doesn't respond. The healing energy released from my magic item is trying to heal the damage, but it's being drained into Pacore’s sword instead.
The small amount of healing mana that my body does absorb is only enough to push the feeling of death back a bit and clear my head a little. I fall back on the stony ground, looking up at Pacore, who's still bleeding from his chest.
“Healing item, huh. I never cared for them; alchemical solutions work slower but aren’t as easy to counter.” I watch, unable to speak, as Pacore reaches up and flips an invisible latch on the side of his head and peels his face guard open. He grabs two of the vials at his side and quickly drinks both. His flesh around the hole I put in him starts to wriggle and slowly mend itself back together like a mass of worms wriggling as one.
I want to shout for Cristopher to pepper the area with siege spells now that his face is open, but my lungs don't want to comply with me.
“Then again, it’s only because of my stats that I can heal like this,” Pacore takes the time to explain to me.
I feel the world becoming darker as my hands and feet become cold. So this is how I die.
"When I fight, it's hard for me to hit my opponents, and when I do, I quickly learned they always had a healing magic item on hand for emergencies. My scouts saw you using yours during the fight with Zekil. To bypass that pesky problem, I long ago commissioned a Dwarven sword enchanted to absorbed healing magic. Of course, that means I can’t use it myself, but that hardly matters to me.”
The sounds of the battlefield fade away to the point I can only hear Pacore.
“Thanks for not giving up. It has been a while since someone was able to make me bleed.” Pacore stands over me and yanks his sword out of me. I can’t even feel it as the blade leaves my flesh.
"Sleep well, general; it was fun while it lasted." Those are the last words I hear as I go to meet the goddess Ebeon.
**********
Author’s Notes:
8,900 words.
Did you see that coming!?
I don't advertise it, but my story planning is actually pretty nonexistent. I know which direction I want to go, but I let my imagination and the story dictate the chapter.
The first time I wrote this, it was only 5,000 words, and it ended with me forcing a convoluted method for Emily to win. After I reread it, I realized my previous chapters had already backed her into a deep corner. She had none of her proper gear, Scholl’s army was much bigger, and Pacore was prepared for his opponent when Emily wasn’t.
It was then that I realized I was falling into the trope of always having the main character pull a win out of their ass, and I didn't like it.
Does everyone hate me now? Tell me what you think below.
And remember, you're already paid up for the month, so don't unsubscribe yet; there's much more to come.
Hope you enjoyed the chapter, and as always, stay safe.
Comments
Alnatura
Well it seems like the kingdom didn't took this war seriously by sending just a few troops whyle Scholl came prepared for an invasion. In my opinion you just have to make sure both kingdoms are kinda equal in power. You mentioned that both kingdoms are rivals. Thanks a lot I like your story very much. :)
Leigh Ganschow
Revive ----- > Receive ; Picketed a target, A ----- > Picked a target; a ; substring -----> suffering; rouge ----- > rogue; burred ----> buried; worst -----> worse; stops ----> stomps
Leigh Ganschow
Mealy ----- > Merely
Leigh Ganschow
Sore ----- >Soar
Infinate Fail
didn't our MC just shoot her sword into a lvl 150 at least creature? i wonder how that would have stacked up to his defenses.
Infinate Fail
This ending certainly feels unsatisfying. At the very least, add more detail to how much damage her arrow caused, maybe saying that she heard the bang of the arrow tip denting the backside of his armor, while his frontside is drenched in blood, moments later the enchantments on his armor fail from such a blow. he then takes it off to inspect the wound, smirks, then just takes a healing potion. That way our mc's hard work can at least result in ruining his armor, As it is right now, he loses nothing in the fight, there is no trade, there is no worth in any of the characters actions. A feeling of close, but just not enough for such a strong opponent, is a lot better than this current feeling of nothing mattered, or even amounted to anything more that a slight inconvenience for this guy.
bob barker
there are so many spelling errors in this chapter that it's difficult to even try to figure out how it happened. The last few chapters had quite a large number of spelling errors as well. It's a wonder that the non-patreon chapters have been so free of these errors.
Thunderspark
Why do you keep using the word "fraction"?
Red
merely*
Hawk Silverthorn
And we will take the fort without substring any injuries!” - sustaining any injuries
Hawk Silverthorn
“Your high Vitality saved you, I mealy did my job." - mearly
Hawk Silverthorn
I watch the first siege fireball spell sore through the air and explode behind me. - soar. I hope you don't mind my spelling corrections. Just trying to help.
LitLeveler
I have to agree. Lots of build up for nothing. It feels like all that effort and time was wasted. Yes, that does happen but even then it's frustrating. It felt like forced drama and a pointless death.
Comiak
I completely agree with this, feels like the author made Emily lose just for no reason, the only thing I would change is that she manages to kill Pacore even if the fort is lost kinda like win the battle but lose the war situation. That way the Mac's efforts aren't wasted.
Phil
What sucks to me is this entire Emily plotline so far has been building up to Emily using that arrow. Something the main character has put their heart and soul into. You set up the precedent that a good enough arrow has the potential to turn the tides of battle; something you demonstrated on two separate occasions throughout the story. Then you spent 15 or so chapters entirely focused on the forging and delivering of the thing, only to dump a legion of enemies and an undying general on them. You spend so much time hyping up the idea that Aaliyah's arrow will make a difference, only for it to do damn near nothing. Hell maybe the arrowhead is toxic or radioactive or whatever and ends up killing the guy, but Emily's fight is already lost Feels like a giant slap in the face. You say you don't like when authors have the protagonist always pull out a win against all odds, but that's what you've been building up to this whole time; only to turn around and dump unbeatable odds against Emily at the last minute. If anything the complete shift feels like you've done the opposite and forced a loss. Worse it turn's Aaliyah's greatest accomplishment into a failure.
Trevor
Spelling: I mealy (merely) did my job I thought a rouge (rogue) of your level
Shadowsmage
good chapter, now going to be interesting as things escalate
Linkneo5
It's too bad she died, I liked her. Also I thought the arrow would had more of an effect. Still good chapter though.
BeatleNerd
Every instance of the word "fraction" should instead be "faction."
jiecut
Also she really should've removed the sword before healing. But probably dead anyways.
jiecut
RIP, she's going to be spending big bucks on some more arrows but Emily will be dead.
lenkite
I don't mind her dying. But she shouldn't have been caught in the first place at the end! She should have died because that hex mage chose to interfere against Pacore's orders and slowed her down. Frankly, she could have kited him forever. She has several times his speed and reflexes, but dies like a newbie freezing up at the end which was rather disappointing. I mean it's pretty clear she had to fall - no one can stand against superior military forces for weeks on end. If anything, Aliya's stupid nation took far too much time doing anything about it and they paid the price. Or maybe some one was delaying reinforcements hoping Pitz would perish against the enemy.
Miritar
I like that this can potentially open the story to Aaliyah facing the army in a Guerilla Warfare style while struggling to not eat their souls.
Toni Pampliega
I didnt say it before cas it would ruin the debate. About the dead of general Emily. It was... Waiting for next chapter.
Toni Pampliega
Schol is a country level-power-cracy. And we have a MC with the best Skill to level. Hint. Hint. Salve Queen Aayilah!
Scott
The guy has invisible armor. He purposefully makes sure there is misinformation about him circulating. He has everything thinking he "this" build, but in reality, like a sword that prevent healing magic from working, he has worked to ensure that his opponents make choices that help him win. When considering that, him keeping up and winning made sense to me. He is old, very experienced and worked to stack the deck in favor of his continued winning.
Goldarch
My only problem with the chapter is that Pitz's strength, speed, and perception should almost guarantee she is never caught by someone with ALL their stats sunk into Vitality and Endurance. Maybe I missed something or someone has already brought this up. That being said, I still love the story.
Ranyaws Bluefire
The death feels bad, yes, but for me it's in a way that death is supposed to feel. "I wish I had seen more of this character." is what we should think of any good character that dies. I'm actually kinda happy that the MC won't be roped into being a pocket-smith for Pitz now, this way she's more free in future.
It'sATap
I honestly liked this chapter, you guys crying about her death but this is a war. She could have died so many times. The fact she died and that she didn't want to retreat is understandable, considering how important the fort was. It'll be interesting to see how this affects the MC, will she have to flee from the war? Will she join in? Will she be conscripted to make arms? So interesting
Chris
oh no, we broke the author
George Watermelon
I am not sure if we'll see next chapter soon. We provided a huge feedback and author needs to digest it
yawn
Next chapter when?
Loipers
Considering I like this story for its great character development and crafting (from materials procurement to finished product), I never really liked the Emily POV. Her character always seemed rather underutilized, like she existed to brag about Aaliyah's skill but had far too much "screen time" for just that. I also felt this to an extent with the interaction with the horror movie monster and the gods - everything is kind of written to indirectly praise the MC and make them better than everyone else in a "tell, don't show" manner that steps a little too far into the domain of wish-fulfillment. The scene with the gods felt like it came out of nowhere, and the same is true with the bandit scene. I like this story, but I find these sudden side-events jarring. Still, I think this is a good chapter: You committed to established circumstances to produce impactful changes within the story. It'll be exciting to see how the general's endorsement and legacy will affect Aaliyah's story and the broader setting moving forward. I want to see how well you can utilize the general's character now that she no longer appears - I think this will help you do show-don't-tell writing, unless you start doing flashbacks (please don't). I hope the next arc is slower paced, with Aaliyah facing a larger goal that she can make progress on without completing in just two or three chapters. I've been really happy with the 2 chapters per week release rate, Kosnik, but don't hesitate to slow down when you need to. :)
Ani-mam
Yeah this is basically my take too, of Pitz just dies here it feels like we wasted a lot of build up time we could have spent on other characters who will have some lasting impact
David Brims
I feel like I understand what Pitz was thinking here, but that it was not well expressed: That even if she couldn't hurt Pacor, she could take his abilities out of the battle while she engaged him, giving her army a chance, and that he wouldn't be fast enough or have the offensive abilities to take her down, so at worst she could withdraw. It might be better if she expressed that intent to her allies before engaging Pacor mostly so that the reader understands as well. Her death - while an excellent plot twist - probably also needs further explaining. Like maybe have her feel faint after she uses her Tier 5 ability and realise that that may have been a bad idea while she's still not fully recovered from the assassin's poison. Something more than just the advantage of surprise is probably needed to explain Pacor managing to get a sword into her when she's likely got an enormous stat advantage in speed.
Jon Oliphant
Well the whole Scholl picking an external fight when they are about to have internal problems seemed way off to begin with. I also figured Emily was going to die a couple chapters back if for nothing else then for karmic balance. It was cinched after the meeting with the gods. I did expect more from the general, possibly an attempt to evacuate to Teeburn or at least regroup to a more defensible position. This whole take herself out of the picture, and and let Scholl advance unhindered seemed off. Speaking of of, it's been bothersome since the beginning that Olebert left that fort hanging in the face of an invasion. They have fast communication, but weren't able to reinforce for months ? Needs to be cleaned up or at least explained better. I get this is the "Aaliyah's peaceful life and advancement as a craftsman get curbstomped " segment. It's just a little too cliche. It very much looks like this segue is LN plot element 32 from the big book of LN plots. Instead of General Pitz, it's going to be psychotic deathless guy and boom he will be torching her village, seizing her parents twisting his well waxed moustache before you can say "Isekais are really repetitive and derivative"
Alex C
That's if you trust he would actually let them leave. If not, which honestly in war you can't trust them, then the only option was to attack.
Manuel de Melo
I don't know where others are seeing the story go with her Tier 6 skill... but I imagine a possibility of the story being that her skill allows her to look at her Master's soul and "fix" his link to magic. In this case... it would still fit the "slice of life".
Stephen Pearson
Kosnik said that there is a direction, but apparently the week-to-week details fall where they may, and it sounds like Emily wasn't integral to driving the direction.
Sebastian Osterbrink
I don't know what to say. On the one it was clear that it was possible that she lost. I kinda expected it even. But I expected a fighting retreat when it became clear that they could not hold the fort. We will see what the future brings. The most disturbing thing was that Kosnik said that there is no plan where he wants to take the story and even major things can change in a week.
Chris
She held him back for a few minutes at most, so the whole point of going out to meet him was pointless. Now she's dead or unconscious and the fort is left with all the common soldiers. Guess we will have to see what comes in the next chapter or two
Militant Snow
True, but it should have been discussed if it was not an option.
Håvard
we already have some prof that skills is a lot more important that pure stats. MC does not have high physical stats, yet she is the fastest character she have encountered. Double step with high running makes you a lot faster than just high Dex. High level people have high skill levels. I expect skills is what does not scale linearly.
Håvard
I have to disagree with you, how else is he to become better than trying? He can always come back and rewrite the fight in a year or two. But if one don't try one are never going to get any better. Did I like the ending of the fight (not the getting killed part but the fight itself) no i did not. Why where she even fighting there was no real reason for it.
Stylemys
While it’s not my preference, I’m okay with the general expectation having been subverted here. We can look at Pitz’s buildup having been more about exposition/context for the MC’s ability level. HOWEVER, I’m really hoping that Pacore is revealed to have some kind of higher tier Taunt/Challenge skill that explains why Pitz made so many questionable decisions. Also, Pacore needs to shown to have Running and/or Charge related skills at VERY high levels to explain him remotely keeping up with Pitz. It would make sense too since he’s supposed to be in peak physical condition and movement skills would be the simplest ways to offset his lopsided stat distribution.
NotAMartian
I don't mind killing her off but I feel like she didn't contribute enough to the story to have merited as much build up and as many dedicated chapters as she got. If she interacted with the MC even a little and then died, it might have been worth it. As of now, I feel like so much time was spent on the general for nothing.
Brandon dixon
Can’t say I’m a fan of this latest development, you just derailed this entire arc by killing off Pitz.
Tera
Had to sleep over it, but I now I like how you wrote the chapter even more. Let's see where it goes from here!!
William Lilly
Touted as one of the strongest on the continent sees action maybe once or twice before this and dies before chapter 100 despite being in a good number of earlier chapters and being a large driving force for the main characters story progression. To say I am disappointed would be an understatement. I will continue reading but this went from being my favorite story so far to being something I will check in on occasion in about a paragraph and a half.
meatybyte
She used one when in combat against the assassin and then used two at the same time after getting stabbed in the gut. We weren't told that she was able to replace the broken gem so it is unlikely she is alive.
a lee
three is ransome she could be save by the scholls for poetical lavage
Corey Boatright
Think it's fine if the General is dead thats just one less major player that was going to try and enslave her. Them
Cody Adam Carroll
I actually enjoy that you might have killed her off too often a character that people become invested in just lives because of plot armor. I could see the general being used as a hostage as well if scholl is just going for a land grab or using this battle as a way of killing dissidents to pave the way for a new king. I am getting a vibe similar to the transmigration story wanderers inn where it is sort of slice of life and people die. Great Chapter!
Space Cadet
Deathless may pull the arrow out of his chest and examine it only to find the makers mark, the same mark that is on the spears. He may recover the ledgers that tell him where the spears came from and try to track down Kervin...
Space Cadet
It kinda really screwed over Kervin aswell. His entire job at present is to sell Aaliyah's stuff to the general. I expect that the General is alive, and will try to abandon the field to get to sleepy hollow. Collect some new arrows from Aaliyah and then ask her to help her kill old deathless
Lictor Magnus
I enjoyed the chapter. I feel that you did give good reasons for Emily to agree to the duel. I don’t think every character that gets built up needs to survive. It adds tension to the story when you know anyone (except the main character) can die at any time. And I think you were right in your authors note that everything up to that pinky had stacked the odds against Emily. Keep following your gut. It’s lead you to make a wonderful story.
thkiw
I hope the general gets captured instead of killed. it'd be a waste to let her go. also, she's not being a dumbass. retreat is not always an option for soldiers.
Call0013
Yeah I have not being liking the Direction the story has been going since she got that Teir 6 skill, If the story keeps going in the Direction it has been I don't see any hope for it. Because you seem to be determined to move it from Slice of Life crafting to grimdark bullshit.( I am impressed I don't think a Story has dropped so fast down my list of Liked stories as this one has.)
Stylemys
I'm hoping that the Pacore uses that 3rd vial of healing potion (explicitly had 3, but only used 2) on Pitz after she passes out in order to save her and take her hostage. She would be an extremely valuable POW to ransom back, so it would make some strategic sense. Plus it would revalidate the amount of of narrative investment that's been put into Pitz while also putting her in an interesting position story wise. Her being a hostage could also drive Aliyah's story in interesting directions. Under the right threat, Pitz or Christopher might also try to compromise and offer what they know about Aliyah instead of military secrets. It would also put the Silver Herd's connection to the military in limbo, which would have interesting implications for the story and their relationship with Aliyah.
A disgruntled nondescript squirrel
I see no reason why she has to do anything. They live in a small remote village without anyone from the opposing side knowing about her, why would an opposing army go out of there way to come there. She can just wait out the war without a care if her brother moves back from Drey when the news is leaked.
Carl Mason
In fairness, had she waited to trip her healing magic until he unstuck her the fight could have gone on a few more minutes before she died against the cheating bastard. I do wonder what happened to the arrow that point -blanked him with full Skill activity, that is a good question.
Chemnerd263
I agree with alot of your points, but the city near the war front is NOT the same one her brother is in.
Blanks
Thanks for the chapter. I am enjoying the story so far and am hoping for a last minute save for the general.
Dikfor
I'm getting a vision of the Rocky 4 Russian workout montage.
LapisLazuli
I wonder if the story will go "The enemy army is comming let's escape from the village" and Aayliah goes to a random place, where noone knows her, without money or really any resources. If so I really hate this idea.
Maltec
there is a slight possibility she is alive, it is going to depend on how the interaction of magic works in the setting, so at time of "death" had a magic sword stuck in her that neutralizes magical healing this is a given, she was using a healing item to pump magical heals into her that the sword took instead, she was also suffering from a temporary condition where magical healing would be slowed due to recent over healing. Now this is where mechanics might come into play. the assumption we have is this, healing item dumps magic into body in one go and healing starts, but in this situation its redirected into the sword instead. still alive option a) healing magic is dumped into the body all at once but it has to "activate' to heal based on peoples stats, in this scenario she might survive due to the sword only stealing the mana as it "activated" and once the sword was removed any remaining unused reservoir of healing potential gets to work. still alive option b) healing mana is injected into the body by the item progressively rather that all at once, that the intake again is slowed due to the slowed healing condition and the sword was removed at the point where Mr Deathless expected all hope to be lost but instead a significant amount of slowed healing still remains.
Andrew Goudie
I'm pretty sure the general got to her level by being a monster hunter - she's not an experienced professional soldier like her opponent.
Melting Sky
She had three options to deal with Pacore. One was to commit high treason along with everyone under her command and betray their country by handing the fortress over to the invading army and allowing them to burn, pillage and murder their way across the kingdom completely unhindred. Two was to allow the one sided slaughter of her army to continue with her entire force unable to so much as lift a finger in retaliation thanks to Pacore. In this scenario she could attempt to fight Pacore at a greater distance, but instead of just fighting him in a fair 1 vs 1 duel she would be facing him plus his ENTIRE army. The third option was to take his arrogant and foolish offer to a fair 1 vs 1 duel thus gaining a slim chance of success at the cost of any chance of running away. This option gives her side a chance to actually fight back while Pacore focuses on dealing with her and she has the sweet bonus of not having his 20,000 men raining death on her as she tries to fight him. Unlike him, she isn't bullet proof.
Luneder
64 chapters the MC is still in the village and while it is hinting at her leaving it looks like that is another 20 chapters later. The general had become a main secondary character to give us a view outside the village and some setting for future progress and then you off the general in a stupid way that made the general seem like a noob doing pvp for the first time. Killing the general cuts that rout for progress and makes the whole thing with the arrow pointless so unless you magically bring back that general you have probably killed your story.
Melting Sky
What are you talking about? How was she or any of her troops supposed to so much as scratch the enemy so long as Pacore continued to lead their assault? Her forces ability to attack and harm the enemy in any way was completely negated so long as Pacore continued to shield them. She removed, even if only temporarily, the leader and most powerful military unit on the opposing side in the only manner she was given to make that even a possibility. If anything, the one who acted arrogantly and foolishly here was Pacore when he offered her a 1 vs 1 duel rather than forcing her to fight him 1 vs Everyone. She was screwed from the start and she knew it.
Clay smith
Hmmm after reading this idk what to think. I don’t really mind that she died (felt kinda of GoT-ish) but I think her character had ALOT more potential and now that is gone. (Of course that could all change if she isnt actually dead yet cause there is no real confirmation.) Pretty much my only concern with this whole story is the pacing and the time spent in the village. I am afraid that with Emily dead the point in which Aliyah finally leaves the village will be delayed further, and to be honest I’m so tired of her being stuck in one place.(note this is an opinion and I’m sure a lot of people don’t agree.) On a positive tho, I really enjoyed the fight scene.
Militant Snow
FYI, a large part of this story has been crafting. A lot of the people supporting like the crafting part.
Manuel de Melo
Her death, while not unwelcome, highlights (to me) one of my biggest issues with some writing styles, and that is: - in order to have something relevant or dramatic happen, we must make one side of the equation "DUMB AS F***" By this, I mean that the general got killed by being a dumbass... and that just doesn't vibe with how she got to be a general in the first place. I know some people get promoted beyond the level of incompetency... but it's not the standard, and in this case, Emily was built up as someone rather intelligent and self-aware. So why does she: a] jump into a 1 v 1 close combat fight??? She's a ranged unit that specializes in mobility and avoidance. I saw NONE of that. b] jump into a no-win scenario like she's got brass cojones??? The whole time you've presented her as a cunning and wily soldier, not an egotistical fool. Her opponent... I understand, but her? To sum up my feelings on this chapter... while I don't hate main characters being killed (think GoT), it has gotten a little trendy as of late. And in this instance, her life (if she's actually dead - if not her experience) was thrown away for the sake of drama. This chapter treated her like a cheap throw away
ShadowOfHavoc
Honestly I am disappointed in this chapter and I feel like this was the wrong choice. The general has been all about defending the fort, going out and fighting this guy in a 1 v 1 fight at close range is just stupid and does not accomplish her goal of defending the fort. She is an archer build, that means long range, so she should just sit up on the walls and pick off her targets. Hell she even said as much in the chapter. Doesn't she also have an AoE skill? Why didn't she use that? There are so many problems with this chapter from a character side that it just doesn't work. I don't mind that you killed the general but it just doesn't feel like you did it for any reason other than you wanted to have a big 1 v 1 fight and couldn't figure out how to make her win in a believable way. It also kind of makes the last 10 or so chapters also redundant, you spent so much time building up the General, the military and making us look forward to the General meeting Aaliyah to then kill her in a very lame fashion. So yeah disappointed and unsatisfied.
Rip Woodham
Overall, this was very sloppy writing. I became a patron because you seemed to be always improving and earnest. But since I've become a patron this month, what I've seen has been lackadaisical. In the first place, why have there never been reinforcements in men or supplies from the kingdom? They lack numbers but more keenly they lack high level individuals, why is it none were sent? Why is it that no one wonders this, if it's politics? What is with that intelligence officer sent with her, Christopher? He's more like a cartoon character with his reactions. And why is it that when faced with these utterly ridiculous odds and even offered retreat, Emily doesn't consider it? Instead going to duel the one specifically sent to counter her, a figure far above her own legend, when does not even have her tier 5 skills at her disposal. As the enemy wants. And telling her army to fight on no matter what?! If she dies they have _no_hope_whatsoever_ and cannot even last a few minutes past realistically. This isn't a general, this an idiot that absolutely beggars belief. Their 'fight' was also poor for all the reasons everyone else described. You need to think about the implications of your stats more. But before the fight, why did the defenders let them close to counter range before attacking? They should of had increased range. They should of had siege equipment. At the most basic level, why can't common mages use chanting to put or enhance munitions to be fired in catapults, reducing the chant time tremendously? Maybe Emily isn't dead, and you're pulling our chains. But that'd be a dick move, and it still wouldn't change anything that's wrong with this chapter.
Serran
Interesting chapter. Though for me the most surprising things was that you first wrote a version where Emily lived. Here are a few other thoughts, questions and speculations I have. You have been pepering it with forshadowing of her death for a long time: - Christopher: We are getting reinforcements in 3 weeks. School mysterious dude: In 2 weeks the Fort will be ours. - Emily: After this campaing I am going to meet the cool new Blacksmith I'll convince to work for me, just 2 weeks until retirement - Emily: I have a bad feeling about this - Reel: School can be at Drey in a week if the Fortress fails - Aaliyah: I won't meet my Brother and Sister in law when I am in the same city, they'll be home soon. (It's not like a war is going on that is 1 lost battle away from being able to have the enemy Army marching on Drey.) I am propably missing a few, but you get my point. Naratively you could have gone in either direction, though my first expection after we saw the Deathless guy the first time was to ask myself: What would be the consequences if Emily died? Aaliyah never meet her and only knows her as a customer. Some comments I saw said Aaliyah would have more time in obscurity. I disagree pretty heavily. We know that spying is currently high in Teaborn see Giavoni and what he got about Kervin's talk with the General. Emily already sent word to arange a meeting with the Blacksmith that made her new arrow, Christopher was apparently keeping an eye on her and I am pretty sure that other people will also have eyes there. Additionally there are communication magics. I would be very surprised if an account of what happend just now wouldn't make it up the chain of command before the fort falls. Coupled with perception skills it is propably going to be something like this. Christopher: "The General fought the Deathless in single combat. All her Arrows bounced of. Then she used her fifth tier skill and put a hole through his chest. At that point the Deathless did what his name implied and not die. Also, he killed the General" Nameless General: "Now I was under the impression she didn't have any of her special arrows left..." Coupled with the public way that the Arrow was presented among the Soldiers in Teaborn someone aside from Emily‘s inheritors is going to know a lot about her. She might not be hounded as focused as Emily would have immediately… but soon enough. The weakest part was the actual battle I think. Given what is happening I think we can be certain that the Deathless had a very high leveled or Tiered subtle Taunt skill. Propably both. Lets be honest from everything we know Emily was not stupid. She should know that you can train stats normally. Even if he only gets 1 for strength and dexterity per year the Deathless can still fight. Additionally she let him dictate the entire engagement while presenting her an opening to survive but lose. And what does a tank do in fantasy games? He taunts enemies into targeting him instead of his squishy comrades. But aside from that she has significantly higher stats in every combat category. Even if he can partially compensate with expensive Stamina skills and centuries of training he is still a 90 pound weakling fighting a superfast Captain America. No matter how durable the weakling is and how many days he can swing his Infinity damage +1 sword nothing stops her from just ripping it out of his hand and hoggtying him with his armor. Exptect she doesn‘t even think about it. It reminds me of Aaliyah and the taunting horned hob. Another consideration I want to bring to you are some (sadly gruesome) realism. Currently I am thinking it is a case of unreliable narator (Emily here) but mortal wounds don‘t kill people instantly. There are documentations you can google for (Honestly, I am not sure I would recommend you to do so). On that „cheerful“ note, Can you start the next chapter with Aaliyah hugging her parents please?
Talespinner Lore
Personally, I think it would be somewhat of a literary failure if there was no twist revealed in the next few chapters, as otherwise waaay too much time has been spent building up the General as a character. Not to mention, the death will majorly disrupt our MC's storyline, as there really isn't anything for her to focus on rn other than the General arrows, and the author will have to basically burn that plot thread and come up with a new crisis or way to drive our MC.
Lesley Douglas
Thanks for the chapter. Honestly, General Emily lost this fight when she decided to jump off the tower and fight him. As a General she knew all the things you stated and yet her hubris caused her to play his game rather than her game. He was 100% rested & healed, she was 100% stressed and 80% healed. He has tons of years experience on her, she was going to die. And what was sad was she didn't do it to buy her men time to escape, I have no clue why she did than maybe she was suffering under the effects of the poison. Her best game plan who have been to empty the fort, fall back to the town then make plans to retake the fort. And if she was smart she should have laid traps in the fort so why when the time came they could have destroyed it. Also I think she wasted an opportunity with MC and crafting the new arrow. Imagine what MC could have created if the General had given more directions and specifics, MC is great when you set the basics then she can build you a thermal nuclear bomb of an arrow. That being said this world is magic, I wonder if there is a trick or back up plan to bring her back?
Edy
I didn't like her dying, I can reason a lot of how it can be done otherwise. For now I will hold on to critics until I see how it will develop in the next chapter.
1Crash
Love your authors note LAMO right now. "Not unsub yet remember you are already paid up till the end of the month" XD Surprised me pretty good. Sucks she died though. Makes me wonder about how the rest of the story is going to play out....
LS
I agree with both sets of commenters. It's weird for the General to die after using so many chapters to introduce her, but she should have lost that fight against Pacor. A solution might be for Pacor to take her as a prisoner instead of killing her.
Blackmoon11
Have to agree, I think some of the flaws you pointed out were addressed as being countered by various enchantments and specific magic tools, but honestly that feels as forced as batman pulling out shark repellant from his utility belt, I mean, I get why that works, but why would someone be carrying something so specific on them ?
Bookman
Well said.
J H
Damn what a plot twist. Looking forward to seeing where the story goes from here.
Bookman
Loved it and started supporting pantreon becourse of it. The crafting is nice and all but action needs to happen and this here is really well done. Pure crafting would be really boring. A good story needs action. And Death. People hated Abba of the Wanderin Inn for killing certain characters randomly. But thats what life is about. You can be the best swordman and still die to some random dude coming along. Only this was no random dude. You said it allready. You put death flags on the general. She was under equiped and not ready to fight With her Special arrows she might have won but it would still have been a close mach. She had non of these and so loosing the fight was the only outcome. IF our MCs arrow did kill the Deathless then it would have broken immersion. She is by far not at this level. That beeing said the only other option for this story would have the Deathless getting knocked back and the general fleeing to the fort promissing a rematch. Seeing how many still support the wandering inn, Abba did right by staying true to the path that no character no matter how important has absolute plot armor. And that makes the wandering inn great. That would also make this story great. So people who only like the crafting leave? You should not care about them. Its your story to tell. If they want a story that only has crafting in them or a story where the main cast never dies, then they should write one them self. Tension Its the same reason why The song of ice and fire was so successful. Not knowing if the character you fell in love with will die in this encounter. It is not everyone's cup of tea so some people will leaver your pantreon but other will take their place sooner or later. That the General hat plans that suddenly fall of thanks to her death is only making this better. Now im wondering if sholl will find out about our dear smith. I dont think they will raid the villiges. At least not with the Deathless leading them. So far you protraied them as highly organized and disciplined troops. I am eager to see how this conflict continuous.
S T
The big problem is probably even much bigger than you described. The power of the shot should cause hydrostatic shock and do severe damage to the entire torso. Also the arrows bouncing off the armor should work from the other side as well. While the arrow moves through mostly solid matter it should bounce at least one or two times and cause severe damage. Even if he survives with his stats there should not be a short term fix. Also: I don't see a way to remove the arrow without taking the armor off and healing potion with debris stuck inside? I doubt there could be a healing potion that dissolves the arrow first to heal or heal around it. If the arrow was destroyed the debris problem is a lot worse. And why was the arrow not poisoned? Your solution with her taking a hit to reputation would probably word if her second surrenders after she passes out (no actual confirmation of her death yet). I honestly prefer her surviving because she gets spared by Pacore. To capture her or maybe release so he might get a rematch in 30-50 chapters with her fully prepared.
Max Scherer
So I like the general and am rather sad to see her gone + Scholl invading cant be good. If that really happens the story will probably be rather mediocre for a time, because it is a really bad timing for that.
ZaA
Really want you to think of how your stats actually work. If Aliya could carry hundreds of pounds of logs easily with her strength, then Pacore at base str and agility should be as strong as a level 1. A level 1 wearing full plate armor an inch thick? It was said that her arrow stopped an inch away from his face, and then said that his helmet was tight enough to his face to move everything together.. inch thick armor should weigh hundreds or thousands of pounds, but even normal armor or enchanted armor with base strength would make him extremely slow with base agility. Emily should be able to walk behind him, and just grapple him. Take his armor off forcefully or drag him to a lake and drown him. Set a fire and hold him in it with a pole or some chains and weights. The only way this shit can make sense is if people can get passive that boost a stat based off of another stat, but you'd have to have a way to unlock it, and basically everyone would get one for every stat combination, etc. Obv if his build isn't what they assume then it makes some sense, but yeahh.. him winning is fine, but his build makes no fucking sense lol. He'd need reflective damage, or stacking damage, or something to make a pure tank build work. And str for the armor.. or the armor to be a manifestation of his endurance as a t5 ability or something. But that'd drain stam or something. No clue.
Malchome
I have a feeling Deathless will have a tough fight against our main smith, and she will have the dilemma about the soul eating as the only way to kill him.
Inquigor
Worst rogue ever. Just go face to face with the man named immortal what could go wrong. Kinda sad but meh dumbass died and now we move on. Wonder if the invaders find the arrow.
Jacob
Eehhh a shot to the heat is bad but only because in a normal person it causes rapid blood pressure loss however with him having thick rapid clotting blood his blood loss and blood pressure loss would be much slower, also adrenaline is a hell of a thing so as long as he isn't gushing blood it's not to surprising that he makes the strike
Meh
This changes a lot!!! Nothing bad happens to the MC directly yet all her current plans are ruined. A character, like the author said, didn’t pull a win out of her ass or something. It’s a bit annoying that she didn’t just leave with her soldiers when she realised how bleak the situation was. Like... I thought she cared about her soldiers’ lives?
Jonathan Frerichs
i don´t know if it is bad or not that she died, it all depends how it will influence the story it may even be a good thing for the mc that she died afterall now she can´t really press her for more arrows and we get to maybe see some other itmes forged the question is who else did she tell about the mc?
Jonathan Timm
I enjoyed it now the hunter can keep the arrow lol and replace the general as the archer
Talespinner Lore
hopping >>> hoping
Blacktide
Given your statement at the end, you've obviously recognized that you will be losing subscribers because of this choice. I in all honesty, will probably be one of them. I'll wait til the end of the month of course, but unless this turns out to be a massive troll, I'll probably back out of patreon, and just wait til the next few chapters have appeared on RR in a few months. Then decide if I want to resume support. As others have mentioned, I'm not a fan of grimdark, and if the story starts heading there, I won't follow. One further comment. I don't see, how this helps the story. Spending chapter after chapter, building up this character, only to throw her away to some random character inserted this chapter, feels weak. It would be one thing, if you had built up the other character, added a lot of foreshadowing about this epic upcoming confrontation. Instead, nope, she dies to a rando superpower that we never saw coming. From a story perspective, this is a mistake.
J3_Haustkottr
Don't worry Kosnik, I'm not going to stop supporting over this, even though I'm not a huge fan of how it went down. Others have made some suggestions that I like, but ultimately it's up to you how this story goes, so keep on writing and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Ben
I love it, characters should die sometimes when in bad spots, not just for realism, but because it will add tons of interest and tension to later scenes. Also, the time spent on the character was well used, it means the death has impact.
Chemnerd263
Story building isn't a waste even if it goes in a direction we weren't expecting. The almost definite change to a wartorn countryside would have seemed forced i we didn't have the background we do now. I am actually really excited to see how this turns out!
Chemnerd263
That was amazing! That was fucked! I have no idea how to feel right now! It's terrible that Emily died, I actually really liked her, but I see why you did it... I have no odea where you are going to take the story now, though...
Diego Jimenez
Hmm. I don't mind Pitz getting killed/captured, since the foreshadowing is adequate and I didn't really care about her PoV. What mostly worries me is how the story wil evolve from now. Some patrons mention the possibility of Scholl raiding the village and stuff, which would be a bad idea, since most of us are here for the crafting rather than the fights and such an event would easily lead to the classic revenge plot. Of course, with how the system works Ailayah would benefit from training combat and weapons skills to farm xp. But again, this is a story about magic smithing. That's what I and most others want. I can see her being captured/offered to join Scholl with her family as leverage since that nation is strength/levels over all and our MC is a prodigy in that regard, plus the whole talented smith thing. I mean, they could even make her a landed noble as long as she supplies the big shots with the good stuff, especially if she can match the Stone-kin. That's how new noble lines are founded most of the time. Honestly, I don't see any reason to hate Scholl nor Pacora. They apparently have a problem in their homeland which is leading them to invade and the man is just a battle-junkie sadist, but nothing more (unless I'm forgetting something). Olebert has been painted in a rather bad light too, with the lack of national help to the villages and the Merchant groups, so there's that. We'll see how the story develops.
Devin Nippard
I have mixed feelings about this i cared not for the general but this seemed kind of dumb like someone mentioned what happend to the arrows momentum that her weaker shots made him stumble not to mention the act of have an arrow through the heart i mean he says its been a long time since ive been injured i doute hea use to getting an arrow through rhe heart enough to ignore it and follow through with the attack. I mean i once played games in which most of the town guards gave up adventuring cause they had an arrow through there knee i can only imange the heart...
CyclopsSlayer
Hmm, not a real fan of the way this turned out. A few errors that Grammarly mightn't catch: "duel daggers" - dual "mealy" - merely "substring" - suffering "hopping just one will snag" - hoping
Paul Jaeger
I kinda like it that characters have the potential to die, keeps the tension real.
Haran
I am ambivalent towards the fight scene. I like the twist where Pitz was defeated, how it happened quickly and almost meaninglessly. I think a fault of many litrpgs is how they draw out fight scenes and make them more and more impossible and unbelievable. I quite liked how this one was fast, vicious and ended up in a senseless loss. It didn’t like how the two fighters fought though, but I can see how you’re trying to paint a picture of how magic items are the true source of strength when all else is equal.
Robmart
Can't say I'm a fan of the general dying
Michael Buchler
Great chapter! Great twist! Can't wait to see what comes next :)
Olivier Pascal
Good chapter with great writing and a nice twist. Many people don't like when their expectations are subverted and hope for them to be right. People are stubborn that way. I can't say I'm not the same but sometimes you read to enjoy new perspectives and look at different thought processes. I personally like the way you handled this chapter and hope to see more in the future :)
Andrius Kačergius
So you wrote a chapter, thought it to be bad and your method of fixing it is to kill developed character. Ok, let's see where this goes.
tibbish
It was mentioned much earlier in the story that the fort is pretty important but doesn't give specifics. It was also mentioned that the kingdom is fighting the war along multiple points of its border and resources were stretched thin too. None of this was gone over recently though so as you as say a few paragraphs reiterating it or expanding on it briefly isn't a bad idea.
Kelan
First of all, I want to say that I’m a fan of many types of stories, whether dark or slice of life. I personally do tend to skim through fight scenes because I don’t get the same enjoyment out of them compared to those in tv shows or movies but thats just personal. I feel, however that this fight felt too forced. Obviously conflict was going to happen but that can be done in many ways.I didn’t want our gal to be forced to work for the general but I feel like this was probably not the correct way to prevent that haha! I’m guessing, since this chapter ended without clearly seeing pitz die, she might have survived or what others said “be used to force the retreat” in that case I’m sure this can be salvaged if you still wish to go the other way. Otherwise, there will be a bunch of factors you will need to keep in account such as the political effects of this etc. I’m sure you can do that though! I guess what most people are upset about is the waste of the previous 10 or so chapters since pitz just got offed.
Kale Daley
This chapter really annoyed me. Why when we've had multiple lead up chapters at the fort do we not know what its importance is? Why did Scholl have enough time to bring out a veritable rogues gallery of high level combatants while the Kingdom ostensibly nothing? Why did would Pitz sacrifice herself when retreat seems like the obvious move in this situation? What is the point of fielding an army when it seems Pacore alone could have walked up and taken the fort himself? So many of these problems could've been solved with a few paragraphs of explanation. I don't mind people dying and I don't feel the previous chapters with Pitz were wasted. The fights were fairly well done but I think you wanted a big clash for some reason when it really wasn't needed, especially with the retreat offer. That's the killer here. From our perspective with the info we have there was no corner to get painted in. Retreat and ceding territory to an overwhelmingly superior force is just a fact of war. I'll stay on til the end of the month but please either revise this or give at least the minimum amount of justification for this baffling turn of events.
PJentsch
I'm not going to nitpick the situation being unwinnable, because the author's right in that the way earlier chapters are written (constantly under supplied and seemingly only getting whatever merchants bring rather than direct military supply, never getting reinforcements, the general being the only high level person, massively outnumbered) that there is no chance of winning the battle. As for why this happened, the author could just write it as incompetent leadership, internal factions setting the general up for failure, some traitors working with the enemy, whatever. But I will nitpick about the one-on-one fight. Two small ones and one bigger one. -The healing magic draining sword is unneeded. The sword can only seemingly drain the healing magic if it's in contact with a person. So when you stab someone you need to leave it in. But if you are leaving the sword in they can't heal anyway since it obstructs the body. How to deal with a person with healing should be a known tactic for even foot soldiers (at least if you want them to be effective against higher rank enemies) much less a general. Her trying to heal while still impaled is like a person trying to treat their burns while still on fire. -She shouldn't have been surprised by the invisible armor. Items that give invisibility seem to be not so uncommon. The Silver Herd agent that has been keeping an eye on the MC has a magic tool to make him invisible, and as he is referred to by the head of Silver Herd as Number 7 it implies that there are at least six other people in the company with similar tools. Then considering that they are much smaller than the countries two biggest merchants, the numerous noble houses, and the military itself, the enchantment is going to be widespread. As for why I think invisible armor (or at least invisible helms) would be known is that it solves the two biggest weaknesses, blocking vision and needing a gap that can be stabbed/shot through. Fun fact, one of the best historical ways of killing a person in full plate was to take them to the ground then stab a dagger through the eye slit. I can imagine every high level warrior would be interested in a helmet that is invisible, and with how common tools are that make a whole person invisible, an enchantment that is much more limited should be even easier. Taking that further a whole suit shouldn't be unheard of since in the fight the general specifically thought that being unable to see the gaps between pieces was a major problem. For both practical reasons and as status symbols I could see at least rulers, generals, and high nobles having such things. -The bigger one. After she used her fifth rank skill he shouldn't have been able to stab her. Earlier in the fight her normal unskilled shots had enough force to stop his advance. When she used two skills she was able to stop him and push him back a step. But when she shoots him with all of her skills including the tier 5 he just seems to continue on. While the arrow doesn't strike the front of his armor since it teleports between the gap, after punching through his flesh it would still hit the inside back of his armor which is equally unyielding and throw him backwards. There is also that the arrow wouldn't have just damaged his heart it would also likely have messed up his spine. If the heart shot isn't fatal this isn't either, but it would stop him from any immediate follow up attack. And finally the arrow head would still be lodged in his body since it couldn't exit the back of his armor. How much it would slow his recovery, who knows. But to me a better end would be her shooting the arrow, thinking she won, seeing that he is still alive and him pushing himself up into a sitting position (since his arms would still work), realizing there is nothing else she can do being exhausted and out of arrows, retreats and abandons the fort and all the people since she is more valuable then they are. There could be follow up since she would take a big hit to reputation, be publicly rebuked by other nobles or military officials looking to increase their standing. All leading to her being more reliant on the MC to recover her position.
Ninta Silverwind
Yeah not a fan of this death. As others have stated the story was building up to a meeting between the general and the MC and that whole expectation is now shattered. I was looking forward to it.
ClapTrapCL4TP
mmm it would have probably been better if Emily had won and would have allowed for a more slice of life development rather than what feels like a more dark development, but it mainly depends on what the enemy forces want, as well as depending if the Scholl forces lead to the death of MC parents
tibbish
LOL this story is nowhere near grimdark yet. I don't much like grimdark either myself but so far Pitz is the only major character to die in story I think.
tibbish
Probably because he could be worn down eventually + there is only 1 of him. He is the walking talking equivalent of a superweapon and there probably aren't many of those around.
S T
I see the same possibility. She just thinks she is going to die and passes out so there are many likely options. The author never mentioned her death only the loss/defeat. Her second is probably going to surrender and she is going to get captured. At least if Pacore will let the experience go. He explicitly said he is going to kill her after she manages to draw blood, so that seems unlikely to fit his character.
Pagemaster
I admit I am not personally a fan of the direction the story appears to be going. I dislike grimdark stories and this stories appears to be leaning more and more toward that point. I will give it till the end of the month to see what happens.
LarsO
I am not a fan of the killing either. You developed the character over quite some time. Killing her like that felt somewhat anticlimatic and unrewarding to me. But that is just my opinion. Still interested where you will take us with this development.
Caio Massa
Maybe I`m misinterpreting but it feels like there is still a possibility for Pitz to be alive.
Mormeg
Fantasy can still be realistic. Im ok for killing her since her odds were really bad.
Pltergeist
not a fan of the chapter. There is no management of expectations in the few last chapters. All had seems to point to meeting between general and MC , but that is not happening now. I don't have a problem with the fall of the fort, but with general's death what was the point to spend so many chapters with her? She is the first major character do die in the 62 chapters. That is not a problem by itself, and I can see how it can progress the story, but it was not handled well. The other problem is the plot armor for the Scholl's ace - he only won because he has some super overpowered items. Why use army at all when one person can survive every attack and kill anybody without any risk for him.
Matt S.
Given the overwhelming might of the opposing army, I expected them to flee to be honest. Regroup with the reinforcements at another location.
wellwish3r
The more i think about, the more i believe the fight should have been a draw, not just because it would be better for the story, but also just from a logical standpoint. Pitz cant hurt the guy, and he shouldn't be able to touch the super agile archer.
tibbish
Pacore's been around a long time and is apparently a powerful lord so its not unreasonable that he would have some fairly nifty magic weapons from the Dwarfs. As Pacore mentioned in story lots of people use magic healing items so its not unreasonable that he'd have something that could negate one. Pitz has been struggling for access to better weapons for a long time. That was why she didn't have more of the special arrows on hand and had Aaliyah trying to make them instead. Remember Pitz is one of the strongest people in her country but we don't know much about how strong her country is relative to others. Its also been mentioned in story that reinforcements were weeks away and resources were stretched thin. That was why the fort was in disrepair when she first showed up and she has constantly complained in story about not having what she needs and the state of her forces too. Sometimes side characters exist only to die and I don't see the problem with that per se so long as it doesn't get as bad as Game of Thrones. I'd have to agree with the author personally and say it would've been worse having Pitz win than having her get defeated and fleeing or outright killed. After all generally when you let your enemy bring superior forces to bear on yours you're going to lose most of the time. The exceptions to that historically were either incredible incompetence on the attackers part or when the defender was incredibly skilled. And Pitz, while strong as a combatant, never gave us any reason to think she was a military genius. More like reasonably competent.
wellwish3r
My main worry is now that the story seems to be moving more and more towards a grimdark ark which is def not what i have been reading this for :(
Obran
Of course since she is a hunter type class she could have an ability to "Play Dead" like the WoW Skill "Feign Death". I don't know. Personally I'm fine with her dying.
Kyle
Did you paint yourself into another corner by killing off a plot line as well? I feel like a story should have a flow from one point to another, at this point there isn't really any other strong connections to follow outside the village except maybe the dwarves. Unless the next chapter is going to be a side story that introduces a previously unknown storyline.
Imp
I said it before, I'll say it again. This story Jumped the Shark. It was pretty clear where you intended to go once that XP cheat happened. Not sure if I'll keep following- I signed up for a cute crafter story, and right now I'm getting the shift to a wandering hero type.
Taksu
Aww there goes my hope for adulthood reached summer of yuri in the magical part of the forest hunting materials.(looking at you challenge capped charm + genderbendertag) Life is full of surprises and its the struggle that makes it interesting. While i like crafting and family aspects of story a lot without any crisis and struggle you cant appreciate the good moments without living the bad ones. Own your decisions and keep up the good work! Armies often raid for supplies so i would expect raiding parties in villages soon'ish.
wellwish3r
I think almost everyone is wondering why things played out the way they did. Sacrificing one of, if not, the most powerful range combatant (and a bunch of soldiers) in the Kingdom for nothing rather than living to fight another day makes no sense.
Haran
You should get a discord
DecoySnail
The reason she didn't aim for his eyes with the tier 5 skill was implied in the last bit of the fight. basically her tier 5 skill teleport the arrow right in front of the target. in the fight she mentions how tight his helmet is fitted to his face and that it only has small gaps for the hairs of his beard and it doesnt even have eye slots (because it is invisible so there is no holes in it) but she noticed that there was a delay between when she hits his chest piece and when his cloths moves, thus impying that there is a gap between him and his Armour and that is where the arrow teleports too, so it does not bypass Armour there was just a gap between the armour and him. or atleast that is how i see it.
Todd Kloos
I don't understand why Pitz didn't just retreat. Even if she somehow beat Pacore, she probably still would have lost the battle due to the overwhelming numbers and high levels of the enemy forces. It seems like she is just throwing away the lives of her soldiers for no reason, when she could just withdraw and go meet up with her reinforcements.
Valentin Remmelgas
My personal opinion. The death of general Pitz is a very likely scenario to play out. The slight issue is the method used in doing so. Having a "great" general come face to face with unsurmountable odds twice (scouting and fort) and getting plenty of time to mull over the situation, to basically all but shout "Tonight we dine in hell". (ranting... I mean, really, by her train of thought they lost the moment their reinforcements lagged behind). Is a really low point in the story since there were no irrefutable reasons mentioned to fight a lost battle to the last man. (There are plenty comments about the fight itself and other things, so gonna skip that) Bringing in a bit of diverse topics in to the worldview is justified, giving more opinion to expand and express for the author (Statecraft, politics, power dynamics). Lastly, I do believe that the walking "invisible plot armour" Pacore SHOULD be OP, given his centuries of exercise in war and probably knowing every trick in the skill book, status page and gods knows what else (I get the picture that he is a battle obsessed immortal)
Cyryl Chołodowski
Who cares about the details of how the fight went, or the enemy kingdom being unreasonably stronger. 1. It was a good fight. There are myriad reasons for why Emily failed at the end and if she were the villain, no one would care to question that. 2. In history, there have been kingdoms vastly superior to their neighbours, that absolutely failed to protect themselves or conquer the other nations (an example would be Poland, which was capable of fielding an army rivalling the combined forces of all its neighbours, but it was divided with a weak king, so it was incapable of actually making use of it's forces). Nah, the only real issue is... A non-issue probably. Platz can still survive and have MC work for her in the future. She might have not been important to the story going forward, thus if she lived or died, didn't matter too much. (if the word of the arrow wounding......... No... giving it more thought, everything you set up falls the fuck apart if Platz dies. The merchant guild bloody needs her, to get themselves set up for the future. On the other hand... shit can still work. MC just won't keep her ties with the merchants for long. With the enemy army marching in, she'd have to grab her family and master and get the fuck out of the country through the opposing border. (she wouldn't leave those close to her to be raped and pillaged, would she?) As far as the arrow not doing all that much... well... obviously. It was barely decent enough. Like... it'd be fucking weird if something crafted so early in the story, would be good enough to take down someone who has a tier 5 skill focused on using his extreme survivability.
Nick
I like the direction of the story but I think that the fight was a little forced. I can't see a reason why a ranged specialist would engage toe to toe with a melee specialist. Also needs more of a focus on the arrow the MC crafted for her. After so much of a build up with the arrow it seems like it didn't even get a proper mention. The general should be trying as hard as possible to get a ranged killshot and to keep her distance from her enemy. It almost needs to be a game of cat and mouse where you have the general trying her best to keep out of range because she knows that if she gets too close then it's game over. As the fight progresses the enemies superior strength and endurance eventually overcomes her own and she gets drawn into a melee that she loses. Alternatively Maybe the general does use the arrow and her ability but he has some kind kind of tier 5 ability that nullifies or reduces its strength down to where its no longer instantly lethal. It wounds him to the point where she takes a gamble to get in close and finish the job with disastrous results. Also her tier 5 ability would seem to ignore range and bypass armour. There needs to be a reason why she doesn't aim for between his eyes with that ability and end the fight early.
DecoySnail
I definitely agree with the above posts like those from wellwish3r that the author wrote himself into a corner and figured that the only two options were that pitz either lives or dies but I don't think this requires a rewrite or if the author does want to go with another route. For example I think that pancore is just as interesting if not more interesting than pitz and I think the fact that we know more about Scholl makes that kingdom more interesting than olibert (i am 90% sure i spelled that wrong) so I wouldnt mind pancore taking up the mantel of pitz and fufilling the role of importaint person the MC is going to meet. maybe next chapter pancore find the communication mage or finds the communication item that pitz uses and over hears something along the lines of "Ms.Pitz our representitve is preparing to set out to meet the blacksmith now" or something along those lines (That was awful writing i know, also the message would be sent because those on the other side would not know that they just lost the fort and assume its safe to send those kinds of messages) but you get the point, basically pancore, interested in the human blacksmith that can make an arrow that hurts him basically goes out to find our MC himself. or that my guess on what would be a neat idea for this time line that doesnt invalidate all the set up for Pitz and her arc.
Akhara
To be honest this chapter messed a lot with the power balance of your world. You made Scholl have too much power while Aliyah country too weak. Scholl have someone that can literally tank an army attack, a 100+ almost all out attack (considering that the arrow could not use her full power), get reinforcements a lot faster than the defending country, arm one of its general with enough magical items to be a monster when the other general have trouble getting magical arrows and equipment (he has a lot less stats but can go through her defenses easily, meaning that his sword is really a lot stronger than anything she has, I think even the boots he has was too overpowered, even if you consider his age). All of that make me ask, why Scholl didn't take the country before? It should be children play for they to take the country, and Scholl not being able to do that before makes no sense. Another thing that I think was a big mistake is the way that the general died, it looked like she just let her guard down, of course she was more of a monster killer than a soldier, but I think that she should be better than that, retreating after an attack that leave you exposed without confirming the death of your enemy should be basic the way you did looked like she fired the arrow stayed put while looking if she got him, he staggered a little, recovered, attacked her and still she still stayed put, of course it happened in instants, but who have superhuman Dexterity and sense? Why someone that invested no point in this stats can act faster than someone that by her job should have a lot of this stats? I think you could have explained the situation more or even changing a little like: The enemy falling down, she wait a little to confirm he was dead and when she was retreating to the fort she was killed by a sword in her back; After the attack she tried to retreat but her legs failed because of the stress of the skills.
Markus
I think that most of them did not have a real problem with the death of Emily. However, very well with the how. A simple mention about the downfall of the fort and the death of the general would have been better because then we would not have seen the gaping gaps in logic. It feels as if the main goal of the chapter was the fight itself. Everything else and what comes out of it was just secondary.
Melting Sky
This is only true if her sacrifice to disintegrate the heart of the enemy's leader and their most powerful piece on the battlefield doesn't end up being the break that's needed for her army to hold back the enemy long enough for some sort of reinforcements to arrive. Her side was screwed without any chance of holding out so long as Pacore remained on the field. I'm not sure how long it takes for somebody like Pacore to recover from having his heart torn out out, but we have seen how limited healing magic is in this world so he likely won't be in fighting condition for a day or two at least.
Jywert
Yeah, do like this. I think the maiming of high-level characters would be interesting to see. They are still strong but if most of their level comes from bow skills and cannot use bow how are they valued? But do like that Scholl's ace does beat fort easily. Pitz is only a high level in the fort? And they have 10+ 80 level generals plus the Ace?
wellwish3r
This Chapter seems like the author only ever considered two possibilities: Pitz wins, or Pitz dies, but there are so many more possibilities that were seemingly never considered. I feel like this whole chapter could easily be restructured in a way that avoids torpedoing most of the development in the last 20 chapters and making Pitz seem really dumb. Keep the scouting part as-is but make her spot Pancore. Pitz realizes that the fort is lost and orders everyone to prep for an ordered retreat while she recovers. Scholl does not wait for her to recover, but rather attacks as soon as they can. Scholl is to fast and is about to surround Pitz and her forces. Pitz knows that she is to valuable to sacrifice herself, but she also doesn't want to sacrifice her forces to get away. In a move of desperation she attempts to use her Rain of Arrows with Aliyah's arrow. It kind of works. The arrows split but everything but the tip disintegrates in the process, leaving them to rain mostly harmlessly down on the attackers. The Backlash from the semi-succesful skill usage leaves Pitz's arm severely injured/crippled. Her use of the skill however causes enough chaos and Panic in Scholls forces to allow Pitz and her people to escape. Doing something along these lines would allow all the plot threads built up over the last 20 or so chapters to continue, without avoiding consequences or pulling silly Deus Ex Machinas out of a hat (on either side). It would also still end with Scholl invading, but now Pitz is still in play somewhat, and we could even have her meet Alliyah because she is trying to evacuate her before Scholls forces get to her. There is the Potential Political fallout Pitz has to deal with due to abandoning her fort. Really something like this would open the story up more, rather than narrowing it down like it is now. This would also (for now) sidestep the reveal of Pancore's powers and Items, which are quite honestly poorly thought out and terribly executed. Now the author has written himself into much more of a corner and we lost a character that was built up for quite a while. Its like she had reverse Plot Armor.
Jywert
I do agree the war is not really important at this point, but there can be interesting hooks as villages are unprepared for an invasion of a human army not a horde of monsters.
Jywert
I don't mind the death of Pitz but at the same point, you killed one of the most interesting characters. Would be interesting if Aliyah did meet her maybe hunt some monsters in the forest. When read about the anti-healing sword. The idea did come to me how about she survived but losing her primary hand and the sword makes so it cant be healed? General who failed her duty and lost her primary strength? Then someway is forced towards Aliyah village? Robot arm here we come :P. But overall don't mind but in this kind of world, it seems Aliyah will lose someone close one at some point in the story, And it's good to see that characters with a high level's stil can be killed. A good story needs quite a few characters that live in the world and do their own thing without the MC being around.
Stylemys
I don’t mind Pitz dying, but Pacore’s ability to even hit her (and pierce her armor) needed to be validated more either by lingering injury, physical boosts from his equipment, or a high level Skill. Also, the reason for waiting to fire until the low-dexterity melee fighter (who doesn’t dodge) was right on top of her needs to be better explained, because that just seemed like a pointless risk.
Maximilian Hübner
Like many others already pointed out I have mainly 2 problems with this. First the battle itself doesn't make sense in the slightest... While you said it felt like you'd give the General too much plot armor if she manages to win, it feels like her death is also just plot armor, just for the enemy army. I get that she was countered with a lot of magical items... But where did that come from? The sword that negates healing magic was presumably pulled out of nowhere after they saw her heal when she fought the assasin... Are they carrying a magic item vault around? And if that is so, why does General Pitz not have the same amount of magic items... She's one of the strongest generals, one would assume she would get some form of protection. Even if not especially for this battle, she's been serving in the army for a long time now... At some point atleast one military advisor should have considered that, right? And second, all of her POVs feel kind of meaningless now. She was built up so much that it just felt right that she's going to be the next step of our MCs quest to greatness... If it was planned that she died, instead of us reading about all those great plans and hinting at a great military forging spree, all of that could've been just assumption on our MCs side, without us reading about it...
Markus
Okay, in a nutshell. You didn't want to give Emily a plot armour, so you preferred to give it to Pacore. His entire performance screamed I AM INVINCIBLE. You try to justify this with better preparation, but it doesn't work. Not only can he tank the attacks of the entire fort, he is also fast and strong enough to fight a level 120+ opponent with ease. His armor is indestructible (okay, it's an armor) while Emily's armor is non-existent... You basically fell into the same trap as all other authors of LitRPG stories. As soon as the stats go beyond what is humanly possible, everything is just bullshit bingo. Who will win the fight? Superman or Batman? Depends, in this chapter is Superman able to move a planet out of its orbit, or can he just lift a locomotive? Does Batman pull any secret superweapon out of his ass, or does he only have his toolbelt?
Melting Sky
Wait, what? How exactly is Aaliyah written into ANY sort of corner?! She is literally free to do anything she likes. She doesn't really even have any enemies let alone one powerful enough to really harm her. She has been steadily improving her skills and recently opened up a plethora of different options on where she can take her future. She could go become an adventurer hunting the enchanted woods for new materials, she just got all the pieces to start learning to enchant her own work, and she has new powerful connections that she can have introduce her to any number of intellectual and material resources. How is that a an inescapable corner? It's the exact opposite. There is almost nothing at all limiting her options. The General on the other hand was screwed from the start. She was dealt a bad hand from which there was no winning move. I'm not quite sure what the "idoitic mistakes" you are referring to are beyond her questionable choice to put her skills as their best remaining scout to use to find out how and why all her scouts were taken out. Even that was more reckless than stupid. It was a high risk move, but given the circumstances she had three options. Do nothing and wait for the surprise death of everyone. Cross her fingers and hope that sending in the few surviving second string scouts to do the job their betters all failed at might miraculously somehow succeed, or expose herself to pretty serious risk to get some very fast and important answers.
Matthew Mitchell
Before I begin to critique this chapter I want to say that when I read it I felt your dedication to the piece, it was very ambitious and revealed what high leveled fights might look like in the future of the work. However, I feel that the chapter grew discordant as it went. I was skipping lines here and there because it felt needless to read them. The whole scouting mission seems pointless once you reach the end because he let her recover. So very few tangible consequences that mattered occurred. The general explaining politics to the lackey also pulled away from what I feel this chapter was trying to be about. Looking it over I think the general chapter shouldve been scouts missing leads to emily is injured and the generals too cavalier to wait so they have to retreat, it gives emily a defeat and acknowledges the scouting mission as mattering. I feel you could also have no scouting mission and just let the reinforcements arrive without emily getting injured. Then she realizes who her opponent is and the situation shes in. The words to her second in command seems like her acknowledging death as a likely possibility. Have her go out to distract him and in the course of her fight get that big multi shot off with aliyah's arrow annihilate the army. In the midst of trying to keep the fort standing and stop the army the general is able to close in on our brave archer and run her through. Emily could've had impact and made a difference on the frontline. You built her up over several chapters so I'm certain you cared about her. Her death seems to serve no real narrative purpose and while she was the focal point of the chapter, she wasn't as impressive as we once saw.
SleepingEra
This chapter leaves me with a few questions. Is this positive or negative for the plot. Pitz primarily isn't the mc, but she represents a opportunity for our mc to grow and see more of the world. Our mc made an investment, but this nullifies all that you could do with that route. I'm curious to see how you're going to use this loss to progress the plot. I will see how you turn the loss of a large investment/client derails the current story. Maybe, you focused more on the tree rather than the forest. I did enjoy the perspectives as an outlet to highlight our mc. May Pitz and her insight to our mc's works be at peace.
Melting Sky
It's not that simple. You are talking about having her and all her forces commit high treason by rolling over on their bellies without a fight and turning over a fortress to an an invading enemy. Not only is it incredibly cowardly and dishonorable to turn coat like that, your lives are now forfeit if you ever step foot in in your homeland again. More importantly you have doomed the countless civilians your supposed to be protecting that may have been able to flee in the time bought by the holding the fortress till' the end. The General did not die in vain. She has removed the enemy's most powerful piece from the battlefield for however long it takes even a guy like Pacore to recover from having their heart completely disintegrated along with large pieces of his lungs and GI. Given the rather limited nature of healing magic in this world, this isn't the sort of thing you can just bounce back from.
Sheeprat
I liked the captor i dont feel like you really need a rewrite and pitz dieing can be a good thing for the story now that scholl is going to over run the fort. It gives Aliyah a treat and a reason to leave her village she can flee with her village and go with her family and friends to the city and be a critical part of its defense and be noticed by the kingdom or flee for the forest and try to survive with everyone there. Or end up having to by force or some other means join scholl. And i think you where right if pitz some how survived that i would be calling bs and i dont feel it invalidates the earlier chapters they where good world building. Over all i dont have any real complaints for this Ch and i dont really get why people are so mad about it.
tibbish
The author did foreshadow this pretty heavily though. I was personally expecting a tough battle where Pitz would be smart enough to flee and lose the base not for her to be killed but given the society they're in (and historically IRL) duels on the battlefield were a thing. I think letting her die from her own stupidity was a good thing myself.
tibbish
Sparingly used plot armor is fine. Its when it starts getting pasted on thick and heavy or used all the time that its a story destroyer.
Melting Sky
It takes balls to kill off even a secondary character on team protagonist. It will be interesting to see where this goes.
tibbish
Wow Pitz was a dumbass but oh well sometimes that is how it goes IRL too. Hopefully she doesn't get saved somehow and the fort + army gets nice n' crushed thoroughly for her stupidity. Sounds harsh but stupidity in life threatening situations SHOULD have harsh consequences for both the MC and anyone in story. Also keeps that sense of danger going and would be (potentially) a interesting driver of events for Aaliyah. After all if her kingdom loses its war it could be what motivates her to leave and go travelling. So FWIW coming from me: good job author!
thkiw
yeah, why should she? she doesn't even know the general
thkiw
I think the silver herd could take the loss as something unavoidable and just use it to draw aliyah deeper into their grasp. aliyah is an asset, and this was a joint operation. or they could be destroyed because of the war. either way is fine.
Ungrave
Well, as usual your comment section is fairly divided. I was actually predicting this outcome a few chapters back so I'm happy I got it right, but a bit sad to lose the pitz. Overall, I think a story is more realistic when things like this happen, but I do see where the others are coming from in it being a bit anticlimactic if you think about it. Don't second guess yourself here, but I would recommend building something fun out of this development. Can't wait to see Kevin losing his special new role. Thanks for the chapter!
thkiw
it definitely wasn't a game of thrones level turnover. the only thing that's bad for aliyah here is that she doesn't get to sell more arrows. next you'll have to deal with scholl maybe raiding the village. how you could've done this one differently is by letting aliyah send her a batch/just more before the fight instead of a single arrow. then emily could've easily won. instead of saying that he reinforcements already arrived, let emily meet him at a skirmish with the excuse that he has to keep her busy while reinforcements make their way. then let aliyah make more arrows for her, and finally she wins because of her help. but then you also draw yourself into a corner. if scholl lost and everything is fun and candy, what the hell are you supposed to do? how do you introduce new characters and make new happenings? another war? this could easily make it so aliyah has to travel more, fight more, and create more. but also, introducing too many new happenings and characters could make it so there's nothing to write about, and you'll be eventually stuck like george rr martin.
Neric
Sad to see her dead, but better than a plot armor. I personnaly belive a surrender would be more credible, but hey I'm not the writer
Ragnarok of the Rage
I have been a patron for a long time now and I have never felt the need to tell you that you have messed up but that was a waste of a rewrite we do not really care about the war it is just a good way to help the Mc grow not a story point we care about
Gyslain Desgagne
Gotta go with the majority on this one. You should really change it a bit before releasing it to the general public. Putting all your points in vit and end is great for a turtle tank but he should no be able to keep up someone that has to have a magnitude more points in strength and agility. The fact that she is dead doesn't really matter at this point if you have an idea on what is going to happen with our protagonist and where you want the story to go but the way it's done should really be updated. Maybe make it a drawn out affair where the General gets worn out since he wont die no matter how much damage she does? that would make much more sense.
Ghoohg
Honestly, you built up a lot of interest and plot with a side character, and then kill them off and say Nope, you don't get any of those interesting interactions you were speculating on, I'm just going to kill them off. I was honestly expecting her second in command to pull her out when she traded severe wounds with the enemy.
rrrig756
I think overall people are more disappointed with how things were portrayed rather than how it ended. One of the main points about Pacore, that he shouldn't have been able to get close/hit/hurt the general because of his stats is a valid point. That is, if you didn't mention that the general wasn't sure if he put all of his points into endurance and vitality. I think that if you made that a bigger point that would have done the story a lot of good in this ending. I do really like how you are not afraid to end off a character because it does add a lot of suspense to the story, especially to fights. I also don’t think the death invalidates the previous arc at all because it added so much to the world. There needed to be a reason for our favorite blacksmith to start seeing the world and the arrow was a good reason. It also gave the reader an understanding at where she stands in the world. Overall I think you did a good job, even though we won’t get to see the general and her plans for Aaliyah, that’s life, sometimes all your plans for the future can be derailed. Thanks for the chapter and I look forward to the next one.
Deneas
As others already mentioned, I also feel her Death here invalidates quite a few of the previous chapters. In addition I find the final cause of her death even worse than plot armor, for me that dwarven sword seems like a plot weapon, which really makes her death look even more forced. To be fair, I'm actually not really against plot armor, as I think it is really hard to make a main characters death meaningful.
Giperman
I hope you didn't kill General, and her meeting with Goddes of Death means that she learned tier 6 skill
Jackson Ragland
This chapter will always be contentious for obvious reasons. Personally the stats do seem weird because a scout would obviously invest in dexterity and strength to be able to move quickly and precisely. Him being able to hit her can be chalked up to his gear/ natural training but without some other stat allocation it feels off for him to be able to hit her. I dont mind when characters die but I genuinely believe that if you want this novel to make sense in the long term that storyboarding is key. Not every little detail should be planned years in advance but general points that should happen and an idea of when is really key. I've liked the chapters recently but they do feel a bit random compared to where the story has been previously. Thank you for the effort that you put in!
Brell
So Pacore and his kingdom are moving in now. The General himself has recognized Aaliyah's craft as marvelously enchantable. I suspect he will take a personal interest in acquiring her.
Brell
I kind of agree. It occurs to me that stats do increase on their own through continuous training. Maybe Pacore has competitive stats due to heavy training and enchantments?
Joe ?
i really figured you were building up to aaliyah getting a bunch of crafting experience because her arrow killed this guy.
Todd Kloos
I feel like Pacore's build is absolutely ridiculous and he should lose every time he fights a high level opponent. If he has never put points in strength or agility, he should be as slow as a turtle, especially while wearing very heavy armor. He should have no chance of landing a hit on a normal level 100+ expert. Even if he did land a hit he should have just as much trouble wounding Pitz as she has hurting him, due to his lack of strength. Other commenters have criticized her for letting him get close, but I feel that she should be able to dominate him in close combat as well, since the difference in stats is like an adult fighting against a small child. Even if Pitz can't penetrate his armor, all she has to do to win is disarm him, grapple with him, and pull off his helmet. Or grab him and carry him away from his army. Of course, this is assuming that he really put all his points in vitality and endurance. If he is lying about that then he would be a much bigger threat and his victory over Pitz would be more believable.
Richard Paull
While I don't have much complaint about the majority of the fight, the ending seems to be a massive mistake. As has already been mentioned it heavily invalidates the last 10/20 chapters, the rush to gather high quality materials to complete the arrow on time and that "amazing" arrow arriving just on time are all rendered meaningless by the generals death. I would think that the better outcome would be a draw forced by that arrow - thus giving the previous arc meaning.
SoSpooky
Well hopefully you've thought out the trickle down effects of Pitz's death since you've stated that you wanted her to survive before. Specifically our protagonist is now sitting on a massive pile of debt with orders to make arrows worthless to the majority of the kingdom and 0 reputation in the market for those who can buy/use them. Hopefully there's a plan on how she's supposed to sell these arrows more then just deus ex machina.
Oxylus
Yeah, sorry, not feeling this chapter at all. It really invalidates a lot of the tension from the past chapters. She made so many idiotic mistakes and poor choices that someone who is a general should never have made. I feel you wrote yourself into a corner more with Aaliyah than the General.
sorathenobody
I didn't expect it but I feel it adds some weight and urgency about the warfront. It has the potential to give our MC a reason to be more active in helping the war effort with her smithing. That being said if your reason the general died was to avoid a trope PLEASE don't fall into another one and have our MC be the one to kill him. I know she made a sword, learned to defend her village, and got a 6th tier spell but she is a smith. She isn't a soldier, she doesn't want to be a soldier, and doesn't have the training of a soldier. She will die if she fights him realistically. Let her be the mage smith she is supposed to be and make this be a story from the rear support's point of view. Also, for the 6th tier spell. I'm putting my chips for team death. Don't use it. Let her shine without relying on a deus ex machina ability.
D
I think that was because it was described as having space between the breastplate ant the clothe compared to the helm who had none. The Arrow has instant movement, so it could land behind the breastplate.
Schlofi
Expected outcome with the information provided to us, like it. Lotta people will hate on it but it is nice to know that not every person that get's a POV has plotarmor, keeps the story more interesting.
Seth
Thanks for the chapter! As for how it ended it feels a bit like a waste, there was so much build up with her and it feels like there are much better ways to go about it without her dying, for example the opponent obviously had a record and she could have taken into mind that it would be better to lose and retreat than die so as to better defend when she had more arrows after attempting to kill him from the wall or even trying to retreat after firing the last arrow. However, this is your story and you can take it where you please.
The other DB
I don't mind that Emily lost but not taking a retreat that would have saved her troops, isn't just arrogant but shows utter lack of concern and empathy for the men serving under her. Part of me hopes that she survives, she still has one more healing gem, and gets a chance to see the consequences of her actions. Maybe a mini redemption arc. The deck was stacked against Emily and I’m happy that you didn’t have her pull some miracle out to save the day. *reposted, pressed return too soon
Desurtfawks
I feel like the General shouldn't have taken the fight. She was an archer without arrows. Previous chapters mentioned even with Aaliyah's best arrow there was no way it would stand up to the General's best skills. So she went to fight the strongest person in the war with effectively an empty quiver. Everything logically screams at her to run or surrender. Its a small gripe, the story will get more interesting for Aaliyah because of this and I think that's a good benefit.
Scott
In the Pacore section, "faction" instead of "fraction", multiple times.
BLOODYMONKEY
Kind of sad liked her hate for her to go .....Wonder where this is going
Chymor
My understanding is that she owes them two arrows, but has some gold to her name after paying for the magical necklace. And paying back won’t be a problem if the value of her gear holds up. She doubles or triples the value of magic materials in a day or two.
Dikfor
Picture Marvel comics' Juggernaut vs Hawkeye with brain damage.
Fullfirewall
I do like the idea about breaking the trope as no matter what this shouldn't of been a win, but for general pitz I also think it shouldn't of ended with her death. Just like you said it was previously convoluted and contrived. Though what I don't get is this pure tank build apparently moves quicker than a stealth assassin build. Pitz had enough reflexes to dodge him when she didn't even know about it when compared to an old man that she was dodging with ease and still was wary about due to his manic nature. Especially with her danger sense going off. To me this seemed just as forced as her winning against the total force of scholl as they already proved how incompetent they were by letting most of their men be slaughtered time and time again. I'm thinking it would of been better for Pitz to survive and the fort being lost. Whether that means Pacore dies or does not die is irrelevant.
meatybyte
Normally story posts are Thursday and Sundays. This chapter was an odd one.
Militant Snow
I agree with all of your logic, there was no way for her to win that fight, and she really should have known that, so why did she chose to fight.
Dikfor
That's assuming she's dead. I'm of the belief that she somehow lives. Otherwise, like you said, it would be a waste. If all of this was just a plot device to show the fall of the fort, we'd not need to know so much about the general. So, I'm thinking the general lives on.
George Watermelon
It was unexpected. Death of Emily Pitz is big loss of character creation investments. I am not happy with the chapter. I will deside later, if I want continue supporting the story
meatybyte
Discussing about how we assume the story will go is half the fun as we can't know where it will go and I wouldn't want to if given the choice. But since this story is an ongoing project being released by chapter in real time, we of course want to provide narrative feedback on what we did and didn't find interesting.
Erriballon
What's your schedule for post if you have one I haven't really pick up on it yet
PloofDoodle
Was good
Militant Snow
Just one more thing I promise, I like this story mainly due to the crafting, I would even be happy if it was almost all crafting. I support whatever you want to do with the story creatively, but the reason I supporting on Patreon is because it’s a well researched crafting story. I love all the real world smithing stuff and the realism of the trading and the merchant organizations. That said, I think you need to think more about how combat power works and scales if it is going to be a major part of the story which it has been recently. It seems as though stats work linearly, but that means drastically diminishing returns at high levels, so a ten level difference over a hundred matters a lot less than that same difference at a lower level. The consequence of this system is that lopsided builds are less effective. If you add 50 points to vitality already at 200 you get 25% more health, if you add 50 to dex starting at 50 that’s a 100% increase and is definitely a better idea. Specialization is still important, but any fighting build is going to need at least a balance of strength, dex and vitality. If the system doesn’t scale linearly we need to know that because it should be common knowledge and makes a big difference. What we know about very strong characters is that they are stronger than they should be if things scale linearly. A lvl 120 person should only be 4x as strong as a lvl 30 but it seems like the gap is larger. Still hard to tell at this point. This points to skills being much more important than levels.
Jack Greycore
Tarodan
To the people wondering why she didn't take a headshot, it's to do with the skill she mentioned, "Instantaneous Strike." If I remember an earlier chapter correctly, it teleports the arrow directly to the target and skips the travel time. Look at how she went out of her way to note that the helmet was almost perfectly skintight, while the breastplate had a notable gap between his flesh and the metal. She didn't penetrate his armour at all - she just skipped past it. If the arrow had been aimed at his head, it would have hit the helmet, failed to penetrate, and ended with a concussion at most. Also, at the negative comments - you guys have no chill. The complaints about how the fight turned out - maybe fair. But the comments that are just complaining about how you ASSUME the story is going to turn out from now on, really guys? How many people are using this chapter to complain about things the author hasn't written yet? This chapter lets the story go in so many different directions, for better or for worse. It'll take some time to find out which.
J03MAN
Logical and plenty of foreshadowing. They kind of left Emily out to dry by having her expose her skills and never sending her any high level backup. I don't understand why she wasn't willing to retreat, that should have been better communicated. Very sad though. I hope you didn't back Aaliyah and Kervin into too much of a corner with this turn of events. Raping and pillaging the countryside is usually part of any successful medieval invasion.
meatybyte
To be honest I'm less worried about the content of this chapter and more on how loose the narrative plan is. You made a comment that you wrote the general into a corner which does happen but if her life was a relatively minor impact to your overall narrative then I question why write this chapter at all? We could have heard the news about the general's death from Aaliyah's POV. This chapter only served to decrease the level of competency of both high level characters in my eyes as they just didn't fight well. Combat has always been one of the weaknesses of this story and I believe you should have waited an built up your skill and comfort before tackling a fight involving such high level warriors. We really shouldn't be reading about high level fights until Aaliyah herself is getting near that level. I hope you do spend some more time to stiffen your narrative outline as I've seen far to many stories die or need to be rewritten due to poor planning. That is of course if you wish to go the distance with this story and don't already have a firm end point, before moving on to something new.
Desurtfawks
Well shit.
Alex C
Goes under the first comment
Solarlancer
i like the conclusion of the fight. the fight worked out how I would have expected it. Emily was shown to be heavily relaying on her special arrows. sure she is high leveled but the only time she had a big impact was when she is using her special arrows. quite a few times it is noted she is a big game hunter and she is a good at social aspects but she is not made for battlefield. also Pacore is old and powerful character who was a good counter to her skills. Another thing to note is that even if she won the 8 other 80+ enemies would easily finish her off after that fight. Next good thing you did is kill a character as many authors don't like to kill them and in my opinion character death is important for a story. what im trying to say is that you made a good chapter.
ZCochraine!%
Taunt or som similar skill that works with a tank build, charm is insidious enough, what could higher tiers have.
Stephan
i don't like it, her decision to duel him is total and utter nonsense why would she as an cunning,smart and seasoned adventurer/general and as a ranged fighter no less fight him?
Simon Casey
Personally i would much rather Emily had won, or at least survived losing. I understand wanting to keep the stakes high but I don’t like it when people’s story gets cut off in the middle. I know that’s more ‘realistic’, but I don’t read fantasy for everything to be realistic. Anyway, it’s your story, feel free to tell it how you want to. I have my opinion on things but that doesn’t mean I’m right.
Blackmoon11
Wow, did not see that coming, I suspect that a certain sadist goddess might have had a hand in all this. On one hand it ruins a lot of the build up, on the other hand Aaliyah is in now in a far worse situation, she is stuck with a bunch of expensive material she cant afford and a giant enemy army knocking at her doors. Also I am pretty sure that Aaliyah could destroy this guy if she had to, its been demonstrated that soul attacks completely ignore physical and magical protection, assuming of course that she can dodge that magic sword that can apparently cut through dragon armor, doubt her mana skin could even take a single strike from that, a soul shield on the other hand ............ either way great chapter, hope the delays aren't going to be a regular thing though
Monika Djomi
Good chapter, well done. But I'll be honest. This chapter compared to the past chapters felt less and I felt cheated since I had to wait a whole week and stay up all night to get it. I get your reasoning but I think the failure came from thinking her dying is the only way she looses. Also the the responses and interactions did not feel like two experienced people fighting but like two relatively inexperienced fighters fighting, hell her fight with the assassin was far better in flow and reason than her fight with Pacore. Secondly you stressed that fighting melee was very bad for her as shown from her encounter with the assassin but suddenly she decides to take a far more powerful and supposedly experienced general in close combat?? It didn't make sense to me!. Lastly while fighting with Pacore her decision to wait until he was within 10 feet of her before shooting felt silly. The skill instantaneous shot as you've shown from previous chapters practically teleports the arrrow to the target, at that kind of speed it would make absolutely no difference whether the person was 100ft or 10ft away. Just like how a bullet works. So eventually u make pitz look like she only has relative wealth going for her because she Lacks tactics, combat proficiency, foresight and experience. If you wanted to kill her off you should have done it properly.
11037
Feel free to ignore the critics. If they were in charge the story would be nothing but Aaliyah showing off how awesome she is at everything and people constantly praising her amazingness, which would get old very quickly. The story is great as always.
Kris
i thought the special arrow would be highlighted more. Im sorry im way more interested in the main mc and that storyline.
Dikfor
Only an idiot of a general would refuse the offer to retreat/surrender with their army intact. If you know you're going to lose, why not take the option that allows you to keep your army? Could always return with reinforcements. In a world of levels, getting your army slaughtered not only weakens your position, but gives levels to your enemy.
Thundermike00
She did turn dumb. But instead of dying she should have lost a arm so this way she can’t be a general no more and retire from the field instead of dying. But then again if she live she will be a huge headache for the mc future plans.
11037
It's pretty clear that she targeted the heart because that's the only place she could bypass the enchanted armor. He's wearing a skin tight helmet, but there's a gap between the chest armor and his clothes. She uses a skill to teleport the arrow into that gap, bypassing the armor.
PaperMache7
That was actually great, the whole time I was waiting to see how she'd win despite the odds being stacked against her. But no, she just died to a superior opponent while in a weakened state, it made sense, but I commend for going against predictable story-telling, for the world to follow it's natural course rather than bending backward to have her win just cause she was an important character. It was especially unpredictable cause of all the work that went into the general meeting Aliyah in the future and a lot of Aliyah's plans being based on making more arrows for the general. So yeah amazing chapter really.
Dikfor
Maybe it's a cliffhanger and she comes back next chapter.
Vegetables
Corrections; * are aimed at any of the seams in between my armor > are aimed at the seams in my armor * His duel daggers > His dual daggers * fireball spell sore > fireball spell soar * I mealy did my job > I merely did my job * over the week > over the weak * it was simpaly > it was simply * I’m in your fraction? > I’m in your faction? * push today which should’ve > sentence needs to be broken up. Probably ending after push today. * And it’s been so long since I had a decent fight, someone capable of making me bleed. > Sentence needs to be reworded. * Your orders, mam > Your orders, ma'am * wearing no armer > wearing no armor * magic items for him but > magic items for him, but * a rouge of > a rogue of
Stephen Weinberg
+1 General does not work for Scholl. Duty shouldn't trump logic for her. Also, I feel like Emily was built up and killed off with no payoff.
Brad
I was surprised that you went with she lost. But I will hold out hope that Emily is still alive.
Mr. Bigglesworth
Very poor showing. Smart general turns dumb. Hopeless fight instead of tactical retreat. Why?
Monika Djomi
Good chapter,well done. But I'll be honest. This chapter compared to the past chapters felt less an I felt cheated since I had to wait a whole week and stay up all night to get it. I get your reasoning but I think the failure came from thinking her dying is the only way she looses.
Militant Snow
I don’t have a problem with major characters dying, but I do want it to feel like it made sense to happen. In this case there is not enough information known about the world for this death to have meaning. For example, why did they have to stay and fight? They had a full 16 hours if they wanted to retreat, which given the size of the opposing army makes sense. There might have been a reason why they couldn’t retreat but it wasn’t discussed. If it was possible it absolutely should have happened. An intact army and a lost fort is better than no one left alive. Additionally, that was not a fight she should have taken, if generals have army killing potential, which we know they do, Pitz is probably worth just as much as the entire force defending the fort. If nothing else at least she should have escaped. Granted that particular point depends on the culture of the kingdom and how that type of retreat would be received. But in this circumstance it would have been strategically correct. Other than that, I felt like there was a lot of development given to what turned out to be a mostly inconsequential character. There was a lot of build up to an eventual meeting with Aaliyah so I was looking forward to that. I think the problem for me is that most of the plot for a good number of chapters was focused on building a somewhat interesting long distance interaction between characters. Now almost every plot point the story was developing is gone. One additional point, it should have been obvious once a lvl 130+ opponent showed up the fort was lost, at that point retreat was the right call, there would probably be heavy loses as much of the force would have to sacrifice to cover retreat, but that probably would have been the right call. If Pitz had died covering her allies retreat or example, I think that would have been more reasonable.
Russell Todd
There's no fucking way I can remember everything I wrote in the original comment and the response I made to it. Fuck this. Apologies to people that had responded to me that likely also lost their comments.
Alex C
I don't read these kind of stories to have things wrapped up in neat little bows like some of these commenters seem to require. Why does every subplot need to be combined into the overall narrative? This was interesting, is massively world building, has major implications for possible plots to come and wasn't cliche or covered by plot armor. Kudos man it was a great chapter.
meatybyte
This chapter needs a bit of a trim and further editing but I think you knew that already with your initial comment so I won't highlight specific errors. I'm a bit disappointed that the general stayed and fought to be honest as I can't imagine a fort and even the surrounding cities/town/villages to be as valuable to the kingdom as herself due to the rarity of high ranking individuals. There should be no reason for the fight to continue once the general discovered all the information especially if she has history as a scout, withdraw was always the best option for her as it was repeatedly mentioned that he had no states that would increase his foot speed, the fort can always be retaken or built around at a later date. Finally, why did she shoot him in the chest with her best arrow instead of the head? She knew that there was at least a gambeson between the plate and his clothes when she noticed the delay. Healing magic and potions exist in this world but they require conscious control or assistance to use. Aiming to pierce the thickest section of protection for a target that isn't instantly fatal looks foolhardy especially against a person famous for his endurance. I would much rather the general retreat in disgrace with all her forces lost and have a side story of needing to rebuild her house's prestige than go down in a blaze of glory. Now that she is dead, Aaliyah has basically returned to square one financially as she is now heavily indebted to the silver hare who now have no high ranking patron to sell their very expensive niche product. That is not even taking into account that another kingdom it taking control of the region.
Jesse
If you are doing a suicide stand (point blank fire), why are you doing a heart shot and not a head shot? Why are you not jumping back immediately, even if exhausted- any distance is better than none. And why are you trying to heal with a blade still in you? Honestly, up until the end, I liked it. The end felt like she lost all the tactical brainpower she had been using.
Alex C
Two of the highest level people of entire nations is everyone?
Russell Todd
Son of a bitch, I hate patreon comment section code. Warning to anyone editing their comment. It can delete the entire comment chain. Went back to space my comment out better and now the whole chain of comments on it is gone.
St Chef
I'm going guess he has an item for the speed because he had an item for practically everything here.
Scyfe
Not a fan of killing Emily off, it kinda feels like all the build up and chapters about her were which were numerous were now wasted and unnecessary. If none of it really is going to affect the story most of the Emily chapters could be shortened and removed without much effect. I get that she was less prepared than her opponent but she also had no reason to confront him, she's supposed to be a General so why would she force a losing battle when she has an avenue of retreat? With the situation being largely hopeless due to numbers/preparedness her focus should be on overall tactical saving men for a future battle as opposed to holding a fort. Also if he is all endurance/vit and she is presumably agi/dex as an archer how is he coming anywhere close to touching her? he should move like molasses in her vision.
Null
You say it bro.... a waste of time and political shielding the mc could benefit.... I'm not believing the author self direction he so much is saying to have since he literally create more problems for the mc....
Stephen Pearson
One thing I find strange... Didn't he heal up his heart with the arrow still in the hole where his heart was? She bypassed his armor on the way in, but not the way out.
Somberfish
I agree about not being the hero and I love the crafting. What I am learning to love most though is not her fighting like a hero but the results of her crafting effecting the heroes of the world
Obsidianking
Pacore is super old, so I assume he's raised his str and speed naturally by exercise and constantly fighting. Its not as high as someone who put points in it but, over time made up the difference, slow and stead kinda bull.. also I think the general is more a big game hunter that's been forced to lead vs man whose literally made for war. Its a difference between mentality.
Mist of Shadows
That's actually why it doesn't make sense, she should be wearing high level beast armor, with an endurance and vitality build, he shouldn't be able to cut her armor, it's more than stupid. He would have had to grind strength far far beyond what he should have been doing. Not to mention breakable gems? And no potions... and only three? This screams I had to die for plot reasons.
St Chef
You have a general idea where you want the story to go but had to logically kill Pitz...I can't help but think she was nothing but a waste of time then if she is actually killed off. Several chapters of making an awesome arrows for her that no longer have a recipient is one hell of a change for a general plot idea unless she was slated to die afterwards as well. Unless the entire goal is to have Aaliyah be on Scholl's radar to forge stuff for them because makers mark on that one arrow. Possibly leveraging her families safety to get her to comply. Though I would think the enemy general would have left Pitz mortally wounded, sent her back to force the fort personnel to flee and hopefully get her to fight him again at full strength later since he wants to have a good fight where his death is an option, but I guess his kingdom comes first.
Obsidianking
I think a interesting plot point is going to be pacore looking into the arrow maker. The mc made a arrow that could punch through his gear, he's either gotta eliminate such a threat or recruit it. Also I kinda like the thought of seeing where the mcs weapons and items end up and how they change history and stuff, like the mc unknowingly made a arrow that almost changed the course of a war if it was a head shot... just like what thanos said should have aimed for the head...
Obsidianking
Damn got some game of thrones in ya eh, great chapter and I could only hope for the fight to end in a draw. You gave all the reasons for why she should lose and it all makes sense. I hope the general still lives maybe as a p.o.w but don't do anything untoward her while she's captive... also mc is the super counter to pacore she would see through his armor so fast and probably just crush him with her average stats. He said it him self hes not the Strongest or fastest, so once his tricks are revealed he's just a cockroach
D
She can use the metal to make a new katana for the one she lost. ^^
Imspinnennetz
I don't mind that Emily lost. However, I would prefer if the main character is not drawn into the front lines to become a hero. This story is interesting due to its primary focus on crafting. Also some sort of explanation as to the way that mortal blows are shrugged off by the higher level characters is needed. Otherwise, the high level characters will become too overpowered.
Niraada
'fraction' should be 'faction', noticed it in multiple places. The fight between Pitz and Pacore felt entirely unsatisfying, as are the general's actions leading to the ambush. She went from clever enough to scope out Aaliyah via a bird in one chapter, to knowingly walking into a trap in this one. You've portrayed her as cunning and capable up until now, but knowing that she's the lynchpin of the fortress, she deliberately walks herself into an ambush. The fight against Pacore feels so bad to me, probably because you've made someone that has been characterised as strong and competent up until now appear absolutely helpless. She's over level 100, and completely unable to defend herself against a man who you illustrate as having base stats in everything except vitality and endurance. The general that was portrayed as being strong lost to a guy who shouldn't even be able to catch up to her in her sleep? Because of magic items? How is it that Pacore can even break her skin if he has no strength? How does he have the strength or coordination to move his invisible armour at anything more than a crawl? How can Pitz not simply step out of the way of every one of his swings? Making it worse is the dude's magic items, which are what has beaten her as it's written here. If it's that difficult for her to get a single arrow that can handle her strength, I don't buy that a dude with all his stats focused on making him invulnerable can kill her with some magic items, and frankly this feels like a complete departure from the plot up until now. This felt cheap.
Tetsuki
Thing is that it seems everyone is running around with tier 5 skills. And the mentality of the enemy doesn't make sense in any matter. He wants to have exciting fights. But for some reason kills potential strong enemy before they grow stronger? You would wait and let them get even stronger.
Justin
Great chapter! Really enjoyed it and as much as I wanted to have the general pull something out of her ass for the win, it's your story and I think you made the right decision. Now there's so many possibilities on where to go and so many lost possibilities with the general dying. Exciting!
ShadeByTheSea
Honestly that would ruin the story in my book.
ZCochraine!%
Maybe shes been permanently crippled, something that could be remedied by Aaliyah knowing about prosthetics rom the last life.
ShadeByTheSea
Honestly I skimmed it too, just not a fan of battles. Also much less interested in the story now with Pitz dead, especially if Scholl gets pass the fort. With the way the tone of the story is changing I'll likely drop because I do not read tragedy. It's all well written though, and I'm sure many people will love it.
Emma Carlin
I personally like it when characters can die, makes the world feel a lot more real to me. However, my main critique is I'm worried that the story is moving away from our MC too much. Some side characters for works development is great, but unless there's a purpose to further the plot for some reason I don't think they should be done. And even when there is a purpose to a side character chapter I think it's a good idea to ask yourself how much detail is really needed. Without knowing your long term plans for the plot I won't critique what was/wasn't unnecessary. However, from this chapter I took away 1) Schroll has internal conflicts + a king who may die soon 2) Pitz died 3) The fort was lost. There were some other useful things to know like mechanics for how poisons and healing items work, but those details we didn't need to learn in a side story. In fact, now that we know it'll be repeated information or learned off screen when Aaliyah has to discover it instead of us learning it with her. On another note, I would have liked to see the General retreat rather than fight or at least have her men retreat. Schroll seems to have a rigid honor system and the General was going to lose the base anyways. Should've lived to fight another day and all that. Retreat and surrender were pretty common in medieval combat, I think there's a statistic that most armies would break at around 30-40% losses. Anyways, I'm rambling. Overall I think it was good, but again don't be afraid to not write as much for side stories. It'll help progress the overall fiction/plot in less words/work for you.
Dantalia
I wish Emily won because I like her character. I would really like to see her in later chapters too. Sadly though that is no longer possible! :( (T - T)
D
It was kinda obvious that youd tryed to kill her off imho. You have started to go farther from the whole crafter story to the common hero walks the world to fight bad guys trope. If emily would have won the fight, shol coudnt advance. If sholl coudnt advance, the countryside woudnt be invaded. Without invasion, the village would be (more or less) save and aliyah woudnt have a need to leave the village besides checking out interesting places and finding new crafting materials. With emily dead and sholl invading, you can now turn this around into the common isekay trope where she goes out into the world to fight the 'bad guys'.
Militant Snow
Yeah, I agree, the only unrealistic part was trying to hold in the first place, armies don’t stay to fight impossible battles if they can retreat.
ZCochraine!%
Maybe a skill of his thats like a taunt, he is a tank build after all.
olyver
I am the type to wonder how strong his soul defense is. When you think about it, his build seems totally based on his physical body. I figure he probably has some items that protect him from magic and mental attacks as well, but he probably doesn't have anything against someone who can target his soul directly.
ZCochraine!%
That guys minimum level 130 +- range, sheesh. And his king is higher level. I say breaking the trope is interesting, and the way its written is certainly not bad. We will have to see how she survived if she survived. And as Lars pointed out, the plans the merchants had are now not as stable, but that is the instability life has. Aaliyah has more time to level snd try out her new skills. May be interesting if by the General using her arrow on the assassin give Aaliyah a little xp, probably not but would show that getting xp has a very long range. Edit: Considering people kinda what the general to survive, perhaps shes saved just barely and left crippled, means your MC might make her a prosthetic to fix it. Might lead down interesting crafting paths. Like golems.
Wewwew2
Nice. I like that you didn't force her to win.
DNAjester
Awesome! Thanks for the chapter! I was definitely surprised! Now I'm just curious what the ramifications will be and what our smith will be up to. GREAT FIGHT SEEN! It flowed well.
Tetsuki
Sorry, not really interested in this chapter. Just scimed through it. Never was a fan of the general. But the enemy is to overpowered. If people are that strong there would be no such wars. And this will ruin the mc. Since she will not be able to make any profit. She already brought all the materials and is in debt. She sold the first arrow under it's value. So she basicly is at the call of the merchants for now...
Darcy Lessard-Patola
The lost is totally what should have append. I do find myself hoping that someone pull her out and save her (Christopher maybe?). Then she could go in hiding to recover (MC village nudge-nudge, wink-wink).
Cobbly
I was personally hoping she'd die. I wanna see Aaliyahs reaction to her village being conquered
Travis Beck
I agree that the fight seemed forced and should have been a tactical retreat. Forts can be strategic sure, but it sounds like a level 120+ General is FAR more valuable than that fort was. That being said, I applaud you for not using plot armor to save a character, however with Emily gone that leaves the MC in a less visible position again to allow you wiggle room to provide more growth before the drama really gets going.
Loki-L
One reason why tropes are tropes are that they work. Going against the trope just to go against it can backfire spectacularly. I don't think we were with the general for long enough for her death to be a deal breaker. The direct impact of her death is mostly on the reader as we don't really have any viewpoint characters that were close to her. Indirectly this of course derails all of the plans about making and selling high quality arrows. In the long term it derails even more by potentially having the war come to the protagonist. The General having sent word of the Smith back home to her family might make a good future plot hook. Right now all the carefully planned ideas of the merchants are moot. Hopefully we will finally get to see some enchanting soon before the repercussions of this battle disrupt everything.
Osprey36
I definitely didn't expect that, I foolishly assumed that Pacore was a mage of some kind since he had the 'Gandalf-like' description. To find out he was a pure tank build made sense though. Pacore seems like a hypocrite though, since he goes all nuts about wanting to get hurt but then literally hides his armor so people don't know he wears it, and while it is clever it doesn't really mesh well with the apparent mania he showed. It was a good chapter and I am sad to see Pitz go, would've enjoyed seeing her meet Aaliyah
Morog T Tiny
I'll wait and see but I don't get why she would go and face off with him... it seems like a poor choice. There are too many high level opponents and her loss would be a critical one. If reinforcements are on the way it would be better to pull back and meet them in an organized manner..
Cerber
Her losing makes sense tho. What i want to know is why she was sent. Why send a capable general to her death? This opens up the question how our author will handle the politics. Why would they risk the chance of losing a general and land, when they had proper personnel ready to go?
Michael
I prefer the writer to write how they want. If it means a character firing then they die. Besides I viewed her more as a side character than a main one.
Cerber
I like it. But is she really dead tho? If she really is dead, then Aaliyah's leverage against the Silver Herd company will be reduced. She might also be forced to flee with her family bow, which would have been a fun turn of events. I can also see this turning into her family getting killed and she runnin away alone. So many possibilities.
Jonathan Brewster
Overall, amazing job as always. It isn't the ending I would've preferred. I was secretly hoping for Aaliyah's arrow to have some additional unknown power to hyper-charge her shots. You keep writing the way you want to and I'll keep devouring everything you put before me!
Endoria
Corrections: warry - wary / there army - their army / worst - worse
Milandaanza
It was a well written chapter albeit I did like general pitz. I do feel like it’s spinning to draw MC into the war though which puts me on edge. I’d have rather Pitz survived (not won but got away perhaps), but I can see why you chose to kill her off.
Milandaanza
True I’m the same, I’d have liked to see her manage to flee rather then win myself but war is war and realistically we don’t even know If scholl is ‘bad’ here.
Patrick Schuldt
Soo, how will Aaliyah make her money now? The arrows are very expensive an consumables. I don't think she will get the same amount of money for the next arrows...
Andrew
I enjoyed it, thank you!
Mythloving99
Hmmm. Can't say this is my preferred outcome, I read for enjoyment and usually just ignore all but the most absurdly unbelievable situations. Would rather have just had that arrow kill him. Kinda gets rid of the MC's primary customer, and I usually prefer a more slice-of-life style story where there is not really much conflict.
Rip Woodham
I hope you'll salvage Emily's chapters, somehow. Because I'm not the type who likes to read dead end content. Given that it's the first time you've pulled anything remotely like this, I think it's safe to say the majority of your readers aren't that type. We like to read your story for a lot of reasons, but a common one is to feel good. I understand your reasoning for this, but please don't make a habit of deadly sharp turns just to do something shocking. Did I see it coming? No. Did I enjoy it? Also no. I usually drop a story as soon as I realize the author is that type.
George Hicken
Multiple uses of fraction instead of faction One Picard instead of Pacore
fuble878
But also now Aliyah is in danger of being drafted as the armies threaten the her village.
Kiernan Lynch
Great chapter! By allowing the Pitz to die you really opened up where you can go with story! Looking forward to the following next couple of chapters... So many new avenues for your story to take!
EverP
I feel a bit conflicted, like watching one of those series where everybody die; however... I wanna to stick around and see what happen in the future... Overall the logic make sense that Emily will lose due to the different level of preparedness. I just hope that the plot isn't build such that Pacore is overly invincible and some plot armor have to be used to kill him when the time comes. Anyway thank you for the chapter, while a bit conflicted I do enjoy this chapter a lot. Thanks again for the good read and keep up the good work.
Alteron
Thanks for a exiting chapter, I did not foresee that development.
olyver
I'm sad she died, but it made sense. My hope was that the arrowhead had some special property that would stop him from recovering, but sadly it was not to be.
RottenTangerine
Good chapter. Im always down for MC death as long as it makes sense in the story and serves to advance the plot. This death (if she is dead) definitely makes sense in the story considering Emily's disadvantages here. We will see what happens with the second point. Thanks for sharing!
Solopath
Good chapter! Definitely like the way it played out, now I just want to see what happens next!
MagicWafflez
welp, that gives MC longer away from noble bullshit... i kind of *did* think it was going a bit fast... the payout for the subsequent arrows would have been staggering, considering she's *just* starting to learn enchanting this way, she can chill more and learn enchanting instead of making tons and tons of speciality arrows the usual 400 regular arrows should suffice for them
Endoria
Cheers dude. I have been staying up waiting for it :D 3:45am
Kosnik4
Corrections
