Magic_Smithing
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Ch: 61
🕑 Added 2020-11-02 06:38:20 +0000 UTC"I'm going to run a little longer," I tell mother as she’s about to walk into our house.
Mother looks back at me, and I watch her face cycle through a wide range of emotions. Unease, doubt, worry, compassion, understanding, mother's eyes convey so much before she settles on a small smile. "Are you doing, ok?" Mother asks me in a soft voice.
I step forward and give her a big hug. She strokes my back and whispers, “You can talk to me if you need to,” In my ear.
“I’m doing… better,” I tell her.
“Are you?” Mother leans back and looks me in the eyes.
"I am," I say with a soft smile, and that isn't just lip service for her either. I really am feeling better.
“Ok, but don’t be out for too long.” Mom finally releases me from her tight grasp.
I give mother a quick wave goodbye and continue running around the village with a smile on my face.
Mother has been clingy the last two days, but that's to be expected. After I finished my business with Kervin, I followed through with my promise to master and mother and came clean about the bandit attack and how I almost died.
I was prepared for my parents to ground me, or at the very least, yell at me, but I didn't get the response I was expecting.
Mom and dad spent the rest of the day with me, telling me it wasn't my fault and that I never need to hide something like this from them. Mom was a little peeved that I waited to tell them, but unless her punishment is burying me in hugs, I don't think I'll be confined to the village anytime soon.
I spent all day yesterday relaxing with my mother and recovering after a long couple of weeks. We spent the entire afternoon at Camden’s place sipping tea with Sarette.
I plan to take another two days off before I go back to making arrows for the army. Until then, I promised myself I would take it easy. No sword training, no testing magic, not even looking over how to make engraving ink because I know I couldn’t help myself once I see the process.
My strong legs propel me along the tree line surrounding the village. Whenever a stump is in my way, I gracefully hop over the obstruction and continue. I spot villagers watching me a few times, so I spice up my running by cartwheeling on the stumps or front flipping over them. Thankfully, I don't consider this training, or I would already be breaking my word.
Seeing their smiling reactions is worth the extra effort.
Another small group of villagers cheers for me as I hop from one stump to another and finish with a backflip.
I keep running, and the groups go about their day.
The weather is slowly getting better, and villagers with lower physical stats are starting to walk around the village more.
Yet another group of three waves to me as I pass by. I'm starting to get used to people paying attention to me. Only, this group looks much more somber for some reason.
“Aaliyah!”
I slow to a stop when I hear someone call out my name. I glance around and quickly notice Arash and Hayk walking towards me. The two senior hunters must have been on patrol nearby.
“Morning Arash, Hayk,” I greet the men as they approach.
“Hello Aaliyah, I see you’re still running. And by yourself?” Arash gives me a questioning look and scans the nearby trees.
“You shouldn’t be alone,” Hayk bluntly tells me.
“What, why?” I look between the two hunters, confused.
Hayk awkwardly rubs the back of his neck and looks away from me. I turn to Arash and ask, “What’s going on with you two?”
“You haven’t heard, have you?” Arash asks in a dark tone.
"Haven't heard what? I've been pretty busy lately," I give the two hunters a look that says, 'get to the point, I want to finish my run.'
“News just came to the village; there have been strange disappearances lately,” Hayk says in a low voice. “It's spreading throughout the whole village that people shouldn't walk alone.”
“People in the village have disappeared!?” I ask in alarm.
“No, no, not our village,” Arash clarifies. “When Markus traveled to the closest village to discuss springs crops, he brought back some spooky news.”
“Apparently, older high-leveled individuals in surrounding villages have vanished out of nowhere." Hayk cuts in. "Local trackers tried to follow their trails, but all signs of a person moving through the forest would suddenly stop once they were deep in the forest.”
“Chameleon spider?” I ask. If they’re still around, maybe I should take Ronald and master and hunt for more materials.
“No, that’s the thing,” Arash gives me a worried look. “Because we sent word to the surrounding villages about how to spot chameleon spiders, they’ve managed to find any spiders near their villages and deter them before they can cause problems.”
“They haven't seen signs of chameleon spiders in weeks, and they say the tracks suddenly disappeared like the people didn't struggle. One moment, they're standing in the snow, and then the next, they're gone." Hayk elaborates, and this time both senior hunters look at the surrounding trees, and I find myself doing the same.
“Does Camden know about this?” I ask.
“He sent word to all the hunters and asked us to increase our patrols," Arash tells me.
“So, everyone needs to be careful when it gets dark,” I nod in agreement. Both hunters shake their heads. “What?” I ask.
Hayk leans in, “All the disappearances have happened during the daytime.”
The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. “No one noticed the people leaving the village?” I question.
"Nope," Hayk tells me with a pale face. "Some of the missing people's tracks cut straight through the village too; only no one can remember seeing the people leave.”
“How is this not bigger news!?” I ask the two.
“Only one or two people would disappear in a single village, and all of them were older people you might not notice were gone. The word only spread when the head farmers for each of the villages got together to discuss the next harvest. Everyone thinks our village is next,” Arash explains grimly.
My hand subconsciously shifts to the sword at my side. But I've been scanning the woods regularly, and I can even vaguely spot Reel when he's nearby. Whatever is stalking the woods can't sneak up on me.
"Thanks for telling me; I'll make sure to be careful," I tell the two.
"We just wanted to make sure you were aware; we know you're able to spot the chameleon spiders and that you have a high level. Still, it would be best if you weren't out alone, even if you can handle yourself," Arash clarifies.
I nod in understanding. "Be safe," I tell them.
“You too,” they echo with the same sentiment. The two senior hunters turn and continue their patrol.
Suddenly I don’t feel like running anymore. Maybe I should head home.
I turn towards the direction of my home but stop after I take a step.
Maybe I should circle the village one more time. I do have the skills that let me find hidden foes, and if I do see something strange, I'm probably the most likely to escape whatever's hiding out there.
I continue making my way around the village; only this time, I'm walking and taking my time inspecting the tree line.
I miss the days when I only had to worry about farkas, karhu, and goblins, mainly because none of them are invisible to the naked eye.
Thankfully I don’t spot a single branch out of place as I circle the village. However, I do notice the number of people walking near the village's edge decrease significantly.
I walk away from where the forest and village meet and rest up against the nearby stable's fence. The outdoor pens are empty now, but the animals will soon emerge when the weather heats up in the next couple of days.
The animal pens are on the village's outskirts, so it surprises me when I see someone approaching me from the corner of my eye.
Who is that?
I can tell it's someone around my age from the silhouette, but I can't place the face. As the boy gets closer, I can better make out his features. Brown hair, brown eyes, and symmetrical features that look a little too perfect; his face screams familiarity, but I can't come up with a name.
His clothes are worn but look recently washed, and his body language suggests he's happy to see me.
I feel a slight pressure in the back of my mind, which fades quickly. The stress vanishes like it was never there, and I can finally remember the boy’s name.
“Hey Keter,” I call out and give a friendly wave.
Keter’s smile grows as he gets closer to me. He moves next to me and leans up against the fence, mimicking me.
Keter doesn't speak; he never really has. Even as kids, it was hard for Richard and I to play with him because of how quiet he was.
I feel all the nervousness from my talk with Arash and Hayk slowly disappear, thanks to my silent companion's reassuring presence.
Nothing bad ever happens around Keter. When dad would take us into the woods, we called Keter our good luck charm because we never encountered a single problem when he was with us.
I swing my arm over Keter’s shoulder and pull him close. “I’m glad you’re here. Did you hear about the disappearances?”
Keter nods, choosing to remain quiet.
I once again feel a headache come along, but for some reason, it dissipates just as fast as the previous one.
Poor Keter gives me a worried look. He’s such a caring brother-in-craft. He’s the one who truly understands Del. Now that I think about it, no one in the village doesn’t like Keter; he's just that good of a guy.
Keter gives me a caring smile and grabs my hands, pulling me towards the woods.
I dig my feet into the muddy ground and stop us before we pass the trees. “I think we should stay in the village,” I tell him.
Keter innocently cocks his head to the side and gently tries to pull me forward.
“It could be dangerous,” I remind him.
Suddenly the headache returns, and this time I'm forced to raise my hands to my temples. As the pain fades, Keter reaches and once again takes my hands, leading me into the woods.
Well, we both survived the goblin extermination together and hunt chameleon spiders with master and Ronald, so we should be fine. Keter joyfully leads me deeper into the forest; he must want to show me something important.
We quickly move through the forest, but for some reason, I can't place where we are.
“Hold up, Keter," He turns back to me with a questioning look. "I should take the lead, in case anything is hiding." If I'm in an unfamiliar place, I need to be careful.
I move next to Keter and activate Sense Mana. The surrounding mana lights up in my vision. The mana in the trees and ground contrast nicely with the remaining snow. I glance to my side at Keter and marvel at his fantastic mana network; he has more than triple my mana pool.
Wait?
Why does he have…
Another headache tears through my mind, forcing me to crouch on the forest floor. Thankfully like the others, it passes quickly.
Keter helps me to my feet and smiles at me. He waves his hands, and I feel my mana pool replenishing as we walk deeper into the forest.
Keter was always more talented in magic than me. It’s because of him I’ve been able to improve without the need of a master. Keter places his had up against my back and starts leading me in a specific direction.
I take a few steps before a fuzzy face flashes in my mind. He looks so familiar, but I can’t place who it is. His ebony skin stands out because it doesn't match anyone in the village. His bald head is covered in sweat like he's standing next to a fire, but his smiling face looks so kind to me.
"Master Del," I mumble. I don't know where the name comes from, but my mind becomes clear once again as soon as I repeat it.
Why did I think I didn't have a master? Everything I've learned has been from Master Del.
Something is wrong here!
I desperately look around the clearing, trying to spot whatever is causing my sudden sense of panic. I scan every inch of the surrounding forest.
Why did I agree to come here!?
I suddenly feel disoriented, and I can't remember which way we came from.
Looking at my feet, I trace my tracks to the left. I can follow my trail back to the village.
I freeze in place.
The tracks…
There is only one trail in the snow.
The little hairs on my arms and legs stand on end.
I don’t make any sudden movements and slightly turn my head until I can see Keter’s feet out of the corner of my vision.
My eyes widen, and my hands start to tremble.
The ground around Keter is entirely undisturbed; there isn't a single footprint in sight. Now that I look closer, it appears Keter’s shoes aren’t leaving any indents in the slush. Keter’s feet look like they’ve merged perfectly with the snow.
This can't be possible; I've known Keter for my whole life. He played with Richard and me outside our house.
The more I try to focus on the memory, the worse my head feels, until a point where the memory shatters, and I remember I only ever played with my brother as a child.
I can’t help but look up at Keter’s face, and our eyes meet. His smiling expression fades as the world starts to shift around me. Everything starts to lose color, and I feel like I'm dying. I've come close to death a few times since I reincarnated, but this is the same feeling I had when the cave collapsed on me in my past life.
I feel a deep pain in my chest, where my soul is, so I activate my tier 5 skill.
All at once, the world around me shatters.
Gone is Keter’s body and in his place is a human-sized puppet of black smoke. Holding the puppet, like a little girl playing with her doll, is a large grey hand.
And another equally large hand is around me, forming a cage of grey fingers.
Once I activated Sense Soul, everything became clear; only, I wish it didn't.
Attached to the hands are long spindly arms that lead to a monster straight out of a horror movie. The humanoid creature has to be twenty feet tall, but it's hard to tell because it's in a squatting position.
The creature has no facial features or sexual characteristics. The monster is nothing but grey skin, and its limbs don’t appear to have any bones. The skin itself is lumpy and continuously shifting like a mass of worms are wriggling just underneath the surface.
The monster itself is frightening, but it's the creature's soul that has me shaking in fear.
The soul is the representation of a living beings’ level and experience. My soul is larger than average, even bigger than Master Del's, but it is nothing compared to this monster. If my soul was a marble, then this creature has a soul the size of a beachball.
How old is this monster? What level is it? I can't tell.
And the reason my chest hurts.
With my skill activated, I can see small tendrils coming from the cage of fingers connected to my body. They're slowly digging through my very being, towards my soul.
I try to shake the tendrils off, but they aren't physical. They passed straight through Mana Skin and ignored my mana network as well.
I don't know why the creature hasn't moved since I discovered it, but I'm not waiting to find out.
I kick off the ground and again off one of the creature's fingers to jump out onto the top of its hand. As soon as I slip out of the monster’s grasp, the soul-sucking tendrils snap, and the pain in my chest starts to fade.
I don’t take my eyes off of the giant creature as I jump down from the oddly motionless hand and try to gain as much distance as I can. I draw my sword, but I don't think it will be of any help. This thing has to be over level 150, and that's low-balling it.
I circle to the back of the creature, and yet it doesn't so much as twitch. The only movement I can see is its skin shifting.
I slowly move backward from the monster, content if the beast doesn't ever move again.
I make it thirty feet before I hit a wall.
Using my free hand, I touch the invisible wall behind me to confirm I'm not crazy. It feels like I'm touching a sheet of glass.
I turn my head slightly to get a better look at the wall, but as soon as I take my eyes off the creature, I'm suddenly filled with a sense of dread.
Snaping my head back towards the creature, I flinch back, seeing the two massive hands right in front of me in a mid-grabbing motion. I stumble backward, hoping for the support of the invisible wall before my legs give out from under me, but it seems to have vanished.
It isn't until I stumble another thirty feet away from the beast that I again feel the wall behind me. Without taking my eyes off the creature this time, I use Sense Soul and Sense Mana to try and see what kind of barrier is stopping me.
There’s no doubt the wall is one of the creature’s abilities, seeing how it moved with it as the epicenter.
It takes both my skills working together for me to figure out the wall is made up of the creature’s soul and mana intertwined. And once I know what I'm looking for, I'm able to scan the area around the beast, revealing what a shit situation I'm genuinely in.
Not only does the monster have a 360° barrier locking me in, but the area is jammed packed with its mana and wisps of its soul. The creature has multiple mana-soul tendrils connected to the barrier from its body, so no matter which way it shifts, the barrier won't be compromised.
I have to remind myself to steady my breathing. I want to panic, but I refuse to go down without a fight.
I slowly slide my way along the barrier until I’m once again directly behind the beast.
I've already confirmed I can't run, so I need to analyze this creature and hope to find a weakness.
But first, there’s one hunch I need to confirm.
I steady myself and blink once, as quickly as I can.
My eyes are closed for only a fraction of a second, but in that time frame, the monster once again shifted its position 180° and tried to grab me.
I try to swallow a lump in my throat, but my mouth is completely dry.
That all but confirms it, the creature can’t move while I’m looking at it. That’s why it uses the shadow doll to lure its prey away.
The beast probably already had me in its grasp when I first noticed its doll. It was able to connect to my soul and play with my memories so that I would let my guard down around it. That’s also probably how it filled my mana pool, it already had its tendrils connected to me, and my mana pool is nothing when it can influence my soul.
The amount of mana this thing is wielding is incredible; it could probably fill my mana pool up a hundred times, easily.
This monster managed to make me willingly walk out of the village so that it could eat me in peace.
I can't believe just a little while ago I thought I could handle anything.
If I were any other person, I would be dead already. Mental Resistance only helped me realizes there was a problem, and if I didn’t have Sense Soul, I wouldn't be able to look at the creature. I eventually would've died by having my soul ripped out of my body.
I can’t believe I ran into a monster that hunts for souls. No wonder it targeted older people with high levels; those are the people with the biggest souls. I was probably especially appealing because my soul is more extensive than usual, and I don't have the levels to defend myself. I guess that makes me a delicacy. But it was also by pure luck my skills countered this monstrosity.
I try to smile at the dark humor of the situation, but I can't even force a smile onto my face.
I shuffle around the beast until I find a dry spot I can sit while keeping my eyes on it.
How the fuck am I supposed to get out of this mess?
The beast won't move until I take my eyes off it, but how long can I keep that up?
Mother will notice I’m missing if I'm not home soon. I can expect Camden, master, and dad to start a search for me immediately, but now that my head is clear, I'm not even sure how deep into the forest I am.
And even if they find me, are they able to hurt this thing?
I stand up and walk next to one of the creature’s outstretched arms. Weighted Strike, Precise Strike, Double Strike, mana to ignite the flames on my sword, I put everything I have into one swing.
My sword flashes and…
Two marks, I only managed to leave two small scratches on this thing’s hide.
A solemn realization comes over me; if I'm found, will this creature escape or massacre everyone I care about?
I wink each of my eyes to get rid of the tears forming.
Is this all fate, or am I destined to be continuously harassed by adversity? What would’ve happened if I wasn’t here? “The creature probably would have killed master and Camden before moving on,” I tell myself.
Goblins, monsters, bandits, why does everything bad have to happen to me?
I want to shake my head, but I can't risk losing sight of the monster.
Even though I'm complaining, I know this is an everyday occurrence for villages around the world. Maybe not the scary soul-sucking monster part, but dealing with adversity outside a city’s walls is a regular occurrence for most.
Is this what people think about when they're about to die? When I died the last time, it was relatively quick, but I don't think I'll receive the same treatment from this monster. If I close my eyes, will it go by faster?
I start to close my eyes slowly, but I can't bear to shut them entirely.
Suddenly, like a trapped animal, I start to feel the adrenaline building. Why should I give now? I've overcome death many times before, and today is no different!
I spring to my feet with my sword tightly clutched in my hands. Even if it's only scratched, I can whittle away the beast if I try hard enough!
I move back over to the arm I tried cutting before and start slashing with all my skills.
It’s an hour later, that I’m slumped up against a nearby tree, breathing heavily with all my adrenaline spent. All my bravado only amounted to some deep scratches across the monster’s body.
I tried shifting to its chest and head but found out the creature’s defenses were universal. It doesn’t even have eyes I can gouge out.
At least I’ve learned a few things about the creature like it's nothing but a mass of flesh. After staring at it so long, I could scan most of its body with Sense Soul and Sense Mana. The beast has no organs of any kind, leaving me to believe the only weak point it has is its ridiculously massive soul.
Too bad it’s buried in the center of the creature’s chest under a foot of steel flesh.
Another thing I've realized in the last hour is that no one is coming to save me. In fact, I don't think anything can see inside this barrier. There isn't a single insect here, and I can't hear any bird calls in the distance. The barrier isn't just to keep its prey locked in; it also further obscures the creature.
I can't run, I can't harm it, and no one is going to come for me. I move back over to an overturned log and sit to regain my Stamina.
How long can I stay awake?
Would it be possible to cut into the beast over a couple of days slowly?
No, using that much Stamina, my body would eventually give out, and I'd pass out, never to awaken again.
I can't even console myself by believing I'll be reincarnated again; if this creature devours souls, then the prospect of having another life after this one is nonexistent.
Another thing that's been bothering me is the lack of eyes, not the creature's eyes, but the eyes that usually guard the soul. I've been using Sense Soul for over an hour on the beast, and I haven't been repelled by the eyes once.
Does this monster have a way to bypass the eyes? If so, that means the monster devours a person's entire soul and not just the outer part.
The creature's intimidating soul is that much scarier, knowing it's made up of people's consciousness.
That makes me think of the memories I was given of Keter. Whose memories were those?
A righteous rage fills my chest when I think about the thousands or more likely tens of thousands of people this creature has devoured over its lifetime.
I stand up from my seat and walk over to the still frozen creature. I duck underneath its arms and move directly in front of its chest. It’s uncanny how the monster moves in a squatting position.
I put my hand up against its massive chest, feeling its wriggling flesh against my fingers. This is the closest spot to its soul.
I take up my stance and put the tip of my blade up against its grey flesh. I use my left hand to hold the sword while my right hand is up against its pommel.
This creature needs to die, and if I can't do it with my Strength, I'll have to try with magic. The trick I used against the bandits won't work with the creature's defenses, and neither of my other two spells will help even if overclock them.
If none of my spells are useful, then I'll have to make my own.
If the creature were able to move in the slightest, I would've been dead an hour ago. But as long as I have a stationary target, I can take my time to create a genuinely devastating spell.
I only have one chance, but what type of spell do I create?
I watched plenty of anime in my past life, so I have plenty of over-powered options to choose from.
I can try advancing time or maybe create a black hole?
If I could do either of those, I wouldn't be in this mess. I need to think simpler.
Increase gravity, so its body tears itself apart? I tried incorporating gravity into my magic before in small quantities, so that might work.
But that won't work either because this creature’s flesh could probably survive more pressure than I could create with my mana supply.
Could a laser work, compress light until it burns right to the monster’s heart?
These concepts might work in theory, but even with my mana pool almost full, manifesting any of these phenomena would be too much for me to handle.
If only I had an enchanted blade, something sharp enough to pierce the monster's skin.
…..
Enchantments are magic; that's something. An idea slowly forms in my mind.
Instead of trying to break space or time, I should use my magic to allow my sword to kill the creature.
I start forming the spell in my head, I need to be detailed, or it will probably kill me.
When I think I have everything figured out, I start chanting in English.
“Mana, hear my plea. Move in the ways I command, and help me strike down this monster.” I learned long ago when I would screw around with magic, stating your purpose for the spell helped with its manifestation.
“Reinforce the sword in my hands to mimic the molecular structure of diamonds.” If Mr. Grey didn't show me different gemstones when I was looking at materials, correctly visualizing a diamond's structure would be impossible for me.
"Envelop the blade of the sword with a thin barrier of magic and have it vibrate at 500,000 times a second.” As soon as I activate my magic, my sword will be destroyed in a matter of seconds, even with it reinforced.
“Launch the sword straight from my hands at 1,000 feet per second.” I refocus Mana Skin while I’m chanting towards my hands to protect myself from the recoil.
The sword will be reinforced, made sharper, and have force behind it; now, I need to pay the cost for casting something out of my skill level. “I give 850 mana along with 700 of my health; I also permanently give up 10 points of my vitality to activate the spell.”
I promised master I would never use sacrificial magic, but hopefully, giving up a permanent part of my stats will let the spell succeed.
Here goes nothing, “Activate!”
My entire body locks up as the spell starts to weave itself to my specifications. Almost all of my mana goes to my hands and into my sword. Then, I feel as my vitality starts to drain away and mix with my expended mana.
After my mana and health are channeled into the sword, I feel the translucent lights that had once merged with my body when I distributed my status points leave to reinforce the spell.
After the lights leave my body, I feel like something important has left my body, like I’m no longer whole.
However, I don’t have time to adjust to the sudden feeling of emptiness before my spell activates in its entirety.
My sword glows with vibrating mana, and a sharp screech emitted from the sword causes my ears to bleed. The next thing I know, my hands are blown away from my blades handle as it rockets from my grasp, and I'm forced to take a step back.
Even with everything going on, I refuse to take my eyes off the creature.
I watch as my sword momentarily struggles to pierce the creature's skin before penetrating to the monster's core.
Through my sensing skills, I watch my sword clash with the creature's soul and disintegrate from the spell.
I wait for the creature to fall over dead, but it stays standing still, frozen in place.
I drop to my knees in defeat; no experience comes from the creature, meaning it's still alive.
"Well, that's everything," I start to cry. I already feel my body screaming out in pain from the sudden drop in both Mana and Health.
This is it; my eyes slowly close on their own.
This is how I die.
My eyes close for the last time.
The world around me erupts in translucent flames sending my senses haywire.
I have to force myself to open my eyes once again to see what's going on.
The once frozen creature has disintegrated into nothing; the damn beast apparently can't die while someone is looking at it either.
The vast amount of experience contained in the creature is flooding the surroundings. The trees and plants are absorbing so much experience they’re doubling in size before my very eyes. Forest grass erupts from the earth, pushing away the remaining winter snow.
The plants aren’t the only thing devouring the experience. My body feels like it’s about to burst as my soul rapidly tries to absorb the experience around it.
The pain of my soul expanding so rapidly is enough to keep me from passing out.
I watch as more and more experience dissipates into the surroundings. I don’t know why but I’m suddenly angry that I’m missing out after sacrificing so much to kill the monster.
With the pain in my soul keeping me awake, I absorb the mana from mana skin back into my body. Next, I force my regained mana close to my expanding soul and forcefully merge the two energies much like I saw the soul eater do. I replicate the same tendrils the monster was spreading from its body and forcefully drag more experience towards my soul.
I scream as the pressure in my chest expands even more.
“More!”
“More!”
"I deserve MORE!" I scream out loud
As more experience piles into my soul, two eyes appear in the center of my being and drag my consciousness inwards.
I try to fight the feeling and continue to absorb more experience, but I can't resist the eyes.
Everything goes dark as I’m forcefully dragged into my soul.
**********
6,650 words.
I had the idea for this chapter months ago and wanted to release it on Halloween; I hope you had a good one, by the way, but it proved too challenging to compose and edit in two days, especially after that last chapter.
How did you like It? A big monster fight with some brainwashing out of nowhere, but that's the thing with magic; who says a ridiculously strong beast can't appear after you get home from killing some bandits.
I got the idea for the monster from reading the SCP website where the name Keter came from. I combined the principles of Slender Man and the Weeping Angels from Dr. Who to create this monstrosity. If you want more information on the SCP and how they protect us, you can visit their website HERE, or you can read the manga HERE.
Tell me your thoughts below, and as always, stay safe.
Comments
GingerClanger
This.. Came out of Nowhere.. like BAMM!.. I was reading it thinking.. Am I reading a different book!? I mean if you just wanted to give the MC a boost you could have done it better.. Not just japanese style Boss battle + Power of Believe = +150 level attack
Joey McGowan
It did seem a bit quick before she encountered the monster, but I absolutely love how monsters are actually monstrous/terrifying.
ThymEnough
I think I agree with that other comment, about how throwing in the 'missing villages' comment right before Aaliyah encounters the monster feels contrived. It can be worked in better using the idea that she needs to get more carapace; perhaps some combination of talking to the hunters to try to get them to look for a spider. If you wanted to do more rewrite, it would be best if she asks the hunters to look, then is forced into her "stay-at-home" activities for a couple days, and then the hunters say they talked to another village's hunting party and they had a disappearance, so off Aaliyah and party goes, but ofc she still gets separated using mind magic.
Shadowsmage
wow excellent chapter!
jiecut
no
Louis Jacquet
Has the author stopped writing?
jiecut
Nice chapter! Lots of tension since meeting Keeter and the unreliable narration.
Ricco Goldsboro
She lost 10 vitality but I’m pretty sure she got a but load of levels just then
Space Cadet
I think this chapter could have been better if the disappearances were mentioned in one of the previous chapters. Going from 'hey there are disppeances' to being capture felt a bit like an old Get Smart episode.
Heber
O.O
Overclocked
Excellent chapter
Brell
Nice monster concept!
Tomáš Blábol
better late than never
George Watermelon
Well, it's a bit late for update, let's cross fingers for tomorrow evening
Tomáš Blábol
Can someone explain to me, why one of my comments dissapeared? I recreate it to make sure it's not some bug or bad internet connection. The attributes come from soul changing the body, not constantly reinforcing it, so sacrificing already spent points should drain power from spell, rather than enhance it(since it has to change the body to reflect decreased stats),at least without the skill to do so. It would be different if it was unspent points. That's how I understood it, if I understood it wrong can someone explain it to me?
RaGNORAK
Congratulations on your highest commented post! :p
Pagemaster
I was looking through the comments, and I can't help but think. This thing is like an SCP. What if a high level person talking about the SCPs actions actually summons it to her location in the first place?
yawn
Every when will the new chapter drop? Or its random
Stephen Pearson
I've been thinking for some time that base building was going to become a big part of this story. Her village is well positioned near a valuable high magic area, had several capable defenders, a healer, her and Del, with a mage and her brother the now highly trained architect on their way back imminently. Also their headman seems generally good and competent. All the elements are in place to make this a real town, city, or the start of her domain.
DaShoe
Make it cannon because I would love to see if she can power level herself when making stuff. Also, she could push the experience to her master so he can keep up. Also, I have been wondering since she has thrown around so much money should she be helping out her tribe more? She has made spears and introduces an exercise routine to motivate people. I was just thinking that she is going to earn gold and they are buying food for copper. Maybe she could spend some more time helping out her village? Maybe get to see another small village and see how much different it is compared to hers due to two high skilled blacksmiths helping out. It would make a good foil and make a different path than just moving into the city. Anyways thank you for the chapter.
Sheeprat
Make it cannon it was a good ch
Sebastian Osterbrink
I liked the chapter as an Halloween special, it's great for that. But it doesn't fit the rest of the story. It's too sudden and OP. So please don't make it canon. Ps: And please show us the reaction of the general to the arrow ;)
Nobody
SCP 092: Shy Guy, SCP 173: The Statue (though peanut only snaps your neck, he doesn't care about souls), All you need now is some 610 for the body horror.
George Watermelon
I do hope this chapter is canon. You brought reasonable argumentation I am sure Kosnik will explain sacrifice magic system later and describe exceptions or rules whic cover your points
Ninetails
The more I reflect on this chapter the less I like it. Having secondary sources, especially extra powerful ones, in the magic system creates a lot of problems. Think about how many high leveled people are able to use basic magic, and how all of those would have access to this kind of power. Cornering any of those people would be very dangerous as they would not be that far behind a mage with health sacrifice for most, and could completely blow out of the water with a bit of stat sacrifice. In other stories that had such open access to harmful spikes, it became a general problems in many deadly encounters, as you had to either quickly defeat them, or be so much stronger that such a sacrifice would not help. In those stories, such sacrifice were a lot worse for just a little more power (permanently crippling of potential), while here it seems to either be quite powerful at relatively low sacrifice (though it is a significant sacrifice to a main character, it is not too big for a random person) or she was quite stupid to even add those points in. Also think how people might be forced to sacrifice stats for spells in certain situations, such as soldiers in war, or other situations where people have power over others. In general it leads to a much darker world of there is indeed such powerful sacrifice for everyone that can use natural language spells, while it would be much more contained if it more or less required a skill, like what we had heard about earlier from Del. Then there is the problem of pacing and worthyness of major content, because having a super powerful monster come, get defeated, and both cost her heavily and possibly give her major benefits. The problem here is how this seem to be a major event that is treated as an typical random encounter, which means it is not part of how the story normally build up tension, rewards, and consequences. This would not be a problem if it was small or average in its consequences, but this one is so major that it dwarfs most other events in the story, and that causes the reader to lose trust in the normal content being important, while it being random events that actually push the major things in the story. Such a change in reader perspective really hurts the story long term. As much as I want to see her explore the mana-soul combination, both of these problems leave enough bitter taste that I do hope this chapter is not supposed to be canon.
1Crash
Man so much flak for the sacrifice.... I thought you set that up well in chapter 21 was it? I thought it was well done. The cliffhanger is pretty good and I hope we have a resolution next chapter lol. Can have some tension with not knowing if Del got nommed first. Havnt been there in a few days. Hopefully dude is alright but I understand sometimes bad things have to happen in stories. Could it didn't eat any stone kin so didn't have memories to lure him? Loved the monster though I immediately thought of the angels from Dr who too. Good luck and good chapter :-)
Schlofi
Completely unexpected, but definitely enjoy the chapter!
Alteron
On one level i find it sad that so young a girl have so sacrifice her vitality. I know she does have a lot of it, but still.
Håvard
Questing if an mage have an dump stat like Strength, then when needed uses there strength to fuel an spell. Why? Because if you have 10-20 strength training to get it up is a lot easier. Spending 2-5 years to gain back the strength you lost to save your life is worth a lot! The counter argument is that if they did have the strength they might not have needed the power. Don't know how much away from mind vital and magic an normal mage invest.
Stephen Weinberg
I can't wait to see her skills, exp, and soul when this is all over.
CaylaCat
I was wondering if anyone else is considering the possibility that Aaliyah was in some way changed by what she absorbed from killing this monster? Here's why I was thinking it: 1) Aaliyah effectively yelling 'More, more!' to herself and feeling like she deserves to have more of the experience feels out of character (though defeating what seemed to be inevitable annihilation could bring out dormant parts of one's personality). I've generally read her as both laid back in her external expressions of her desires, and more ambitious to pursue heights than hungry for strength. 2) The ability to manipulate soul is entirely new for her, but fundamental to the creature. 3) Her soul was dramatically expanded by this monster and from what we saw with the bandits the souls of the beings that one kills in this world can have echos or impacts on your own. Thoughts?
Blackmoon11
It has been mentioned in the past , this is from Chapter 23 (talking to Del about soul sense) That depends… can a skill can harm its user? With a serious expression I ask Del. “Master, can skills be harmful to their user?” A grave expression crosses Del’s face. “There are skills that harm the user or even can kill someone unprepared. Generally, skills cost either stamina or magic and have different cooldown times. But sometimes a person will unlock a blood skill. A blood skill permanently reduces a stat for explosive effects. You didn’t get one of those did you?” Master Dels gaze is intense, as he searches my expression before I can even answer. “No, my new skill doesn’t sacrifice any of my stats. I’ve just been having nightmares and losing sleep.”
Stephen Weinberg
So, first of all, great chapter. I really did like it and I am kinda excited for whatever type of manipulation ability she may have gotten. Soul manipulation (tier 6)? Mana soul manipulation? That being said, I would like to give one bit of criticism. It seems like you added sacrificial magic out of nowhere. Why would she talk about it with Del? Why haven't we heard of it before? Take that out, and it is pretty good. I would have also liked to see the fight happen and then she get a warning about the other villages. The 2 minute before foreshadowing was clumsy in my opinion. Better that there be zero foreshadowing. This is just what life is in the outskirts, people go missing and no one finds out why.
Obran
I’m just gonna drop this guy’s TikTok on you for your entertainment. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJuxJ7N1/ He is a guy who is obsessed with medieval armor and discusses why fantasy gaming armor and weapons would or would not work.
The Divine F5
Is this canon, or a Halloween special? Or both? Chapter seems short, so asking
meatybyte
I second your position that having this creature attack be completely unexpected would have worked better as it would fit more comfortably in a self-contained chapter.
Ray Burns
I have a little bit of a different take on this chapter. Instead of more foreshadowing I think there should be less. Completely random and unexpected events happen in real life and a monster out of nowhere isn't really a stretch. The problem, rather than the foreshadowing, is the coincidence between being told about it and encountering the monster right after each other.
Kevin Caffrey
The spiders were done well. They were foreshadowed in the goblin arc, and had a few chapters of buildup until they actually had to face the spiders. In this chapter, you have the neighbor saying "hey did you hear about that scary monster that has been troubling all the villages but somehow no one has heard of before?" and then immediately afterwards bam! scary monster appears. It feels very abrupt.
Enif
I think the sudden appearance of this monster can actually work in the story. First you had the spiders now this thing. Something is drawing high-level monsters out of the deep forest.
Rukshan
goosebumpeths...
Jack Stiles
Kind of blind sided by hearing about it and showing up at the same time, and then this sacrificial magic on top of it. I have a feeling it'll come with a huge power boost on top of it. So three things out of no where is mildly disorienting.
Mark Bird
I love the chapter and have been waiting for her to find a XP related use for her soul skill I dont mind too much that the monster lacked forshadowing so long as it is an exception and not the rule I do feel that Aaliyah's reasoning for using sacrificial magic isnt well developed in the chapter (I dont mind that she did but would like to see more of her reasoning)
MadGod
Aaliyah's been on a break for the last few days and hasn't seen Del in the meantime who happens to live away from everyone else. The monster is also known for going for the highest level individuals. So, is Aaliyah the first victim of her village or did a certain dwarf get nommed first?
MadGod
I hope she uses a Bec de Corbin. Hammer, axe, and spear all in one long reach weapon. Very versatile.
Sheeprat
I hope she goes back to using a axe
Ben
This was brilliant, don't let the critics convince you to second guess yourself on this one, best chapter yet.
Nematrec
When you said scp inspired it, I thought you meant scp 173 which moves when you blink and kills its victims by breaking their neck https://scpfoundation.fandom.com/wiki/SCP-173_%27The_Sculpture%27
Lyael
Once I got past the disappointment of not seeing some reactions to the arrow it was a fun standalone chapter, but I am rather confused on how this actually fits into the story. If this was just a non-canon Halloween bonus chapter that’s great, it was really fun, please label it as such to not cause confusion. On the other hand, if that was a canon chapter, it really does not fit into the story as it is in my opinion. I couldn’t get excited about this new one being introduced because I am still excited about the previous one, which didn’t even get a teaser ‘shot’ of Kervin seeing the walls of the city the arrow is going to. I would echo others’ sentiments about the foreshadowing as well. I’m still excited to see where the story goes, just hope this gets clarified a bit.
Eric
In my humble opinion, hearing about the monster and then immediately running into it, is too much for my suspension of disbelief. It should be foreshadowed somehow in earlier chapters. Or even better, get rid of the the warning altogether, and just haver her run into the monster. Additionally, a people killer monster, and especially one that targets high levels people, would have all sorts of red flags from "royal" monster hunters. I would think it would be a good way to introduce some trackers who were looking for the beast
Bad Timing
Are you forgetting that she got her Soul Sight from observing the MANA when she selected her attributes?
Comiak
The sacrafice of stats just doesn't work with how mana was built. there's earth mana, wind mana ect, but then what type of mana are stats? it's not a type of mana as described previously it's an extension of the soul. the health we can justify as "life mana" but the soul and mana are clearly two different things. the vitality sacrifice just doesn't work and it breaks the already set up magic system. As brandon sanderson says "the ability of the author the resolve a conflict in a story with magic is proportional to the readers' understanding of magic" this chapter completely shatters this rule and your own system of magic. I'd have just left the health as the sacrifice as it's already very dangerous to do and it still expands on magic without breaking it.
RanaSuilep
If Del is killed, that would make the story 10x better. The shock of sudden death of her mentor and super monsters wandering about, will motivate her to get her act togeather.
Bad Timing
My question now is: Is Del still alive? Because it seems to fit with the modus operandi of the monster, and no one has probably visited him in at least a day. Death of the master is an overused trope in fantasy, but it is also a very useful one. I'll wouldn't bet on him being gone, but I wouldn't bet on him still being around either.
Bad Timing
I completely agree on the 'no foreshadowing part, it seemed to come out of nowhere. Maybe we could have read something in the stress Camden was still showing? Still feel a bit limited. On your second point I disagree. It was basically expected for quite some time for here to get a soul manipulation skill at some point, and we have known for a few chapter already that soul is an agglomeration of experience. From a story PoV, it was necessary anyway, we are arriving at the end of the growth she could get through leveling up skills.
your_sweetpea
I was a little disappointed we didn't get to see the arrow and the general this chapter but that's fine honestly because this chapter was sick, I got over it as soon as I got into the chapter.
your_sweetpea
A lot of the commenters seem to feel put off that this chapter just came out of nowhere, but honestly I *love* it. It reminds me of some kind of really sick filler episode in an anime, where it doesn't have to be relevant to the story but just gives us a chance to see the a character we love being a total badass!
Chymor
I have two concerns. first the foreshadowing, which seemed more consistent with a “monster of the week” episode in Buffy the vampire slayer than the rest of this story. And secondly if there a power up, that lets her earn experience quicker at the end of the chapter as hinted. Does she really need more cheats? Isn’t the large soul and earth knowledge that lets her earn tons of exp and skills enough?
Chemnerd263
HOLY SHIT! WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?! I am so excited to see more of this, my only issue is the talk of this monster reaching the village the SAME DAY the moster shows up? A little too on the nose there...
MadGod
The sword would have disintegrated instantly from the vibration without reinforcement and she couldn't have pushed it herself through a meter of steel like flesh no matter the sword's sharpness.
ShadeByTheSea
I disagree about the foreshadowing more and more dangerous things have been leaving the forest every few months. Clearly the magic forest is expanding or something has become super dangerous and is pushing everything else out.
ShadowOfHavoc
Loved the chapter! I do agree with the others that a bit of foreshadowing would have helped this chapter, maybe add the fact that people have disappeared when she talked to Camden in the last chapter but besides that this was great. I liked the fact that finding and defeating the monster didn't take 5 chapters. Now on to the general and her arrow, I want to know her reaction. Thanks for the chapter!
Toni Pampliega
lol.
Ryman
And... She once again faints after a fight. :/
Toni Pampliega
Yep, agree with the tendrils part. It opens too many power ups ways.
villalon vivien
Definivly good. The use of sacrifial for magic didnt surprise me. Maybe there was incent before ? The action is quick so what, wordbuilding can come later, and finaly, this trial is perhaps the milestone for a tier6 Skill !!! (this post may be full of fault, that's because I principaly read english.)
ZCochraine!%
There was no cap with level 100, it’s just a milestone. near the beginning of the story, the way xp increased would have meant that for someone to reach level 100 would have required something that more than 15 digits long, unlikely even for the longer lived races of the world. She he changed it so high level people can happen. We don’t know what the general or Dethless’s levels are, but they are probably over 100.
carebear90
I honestly liked it. I'd just either mention the disappearances in an ealier chapter instead of the same day, as it happens, or not at all until after it happened. If you wanted to go for "out of nowhere", then the latter would probably better. This reminded me a bit too much of the "conjured by mentioning it"-trope.
Toni Pampliega
Fantastic chapter! Comments: 1.- "Over level 100". In the recent previous chapters you have put this sentence to reference the general. Finally, with the monster over "150", you have uncap the lvl 100? From the first chapters and the explanation of the 100 first lvls I thought that was the cap. Or at least that was the feeling. Why the change? Making space for the next 500 chaps? XD It surprised me, the change. I thought that at lvl 100 something would happen like "obtain a class", get a Tier 5 skill, get stats in proportion to achievements, ... so the growth comes from other means. 2.- Fighting high lvl foes. There is a danger that a lot of webserials suffer. They precipitate into fights every time more 'riscky' for the MC, more difference with levels, fantastical, etc that finally develop in unbeliable action that ruins the novel. So, be carefull! I don't want this happening. In this combat to 'death' with the soul devourer monster, the difference with level is too much, IMO. True, the monster is 'easily' countered by Aaliyah, but ... 3.- Increase in lvl. So, from 5 to 10 level increase? Beside the awesome fight, why that power up of Aaliyah? It's needed for the next arc? The war will come to the village after the General escapesthe Deathless? She will have to travel and need the power? And what skill she will learn? "Soul Connection", tier 5?. The case is that this also happened with the the skill amplifie spell, that was instrumental to win against the bandits, and she got it just before the fight. XD. 4.- How you dare leave for the next chap the status screen?! Kappa. Thx for your great work!
The Cur4t0r
I have mixed feelings for this chapter. On one hand, I always enjoy it when Aaliyah is being awesome. On the other hand, the whole situation felt like it came out of the left field. Sacrificial casting? An incredibly powerful enemy that just happened to show up after the MC was warned about it? All of this feels like events that should have taken place over multiple chapters instead of it happening in 7k words.
Blacktide
As everyone else already said, it definitely felt out of place. No foreshadowing, no buildup. Just a quick action chapter. It was fun to read, and I liked how it finally got her to use her 5th tier skill, but I was expecting a chapter of the General and the arrow, so also disappointing. I'd suggest retconning the chapter, doing the general pov, include some foreshadowing buildup in the next few chapters, then use this. It would be more acceptable in terms of the story.
Caio Massa
I think this was a great chapter, I`m just not sure about the ending ( Aaliyah managing to defeat a monster double her level ), even though she was perfectly suited to counter the beast. For now, the rewards she gets from defeating it are flat XP, learning how to absorb more experience towards the soul ( since the monster body disappeared there is no loot), and possible fame ( dealing with the supreme boogie monster ) . Maybe instead of using the sacrificial magic to defeat it use it so break the barrier and run away? She would still get the important stuff ( absorb more xp with a kill , which will make her lvl up faster) , still manage to scrap by a "victory" ( getting away ) but putting more weight on the monster that roams the villages for years/decades. But either way the chapter is fantastic and you are doing a great job man!
Blackmoon11
This chapter was AMAZING. I am not going to be one of those people complaining about foreshadowing and what not and would like instead to compliment you on your skills as a writer. There was palpable feeling of dread and terror throughout this chapter that I really loved, that felt similar but clearly distinct from when she faced the Hob or the spider. I like the fact there is some eldritch monstrosity just roaming the magical forest for untold millennia leaving so little trace as to not even inspire any superstitious tales. Also it opens the doors to soul magic, the real story behind the eyes, the nature of the soul and a whole lot of shit that has been hinted at since early as chapter 21 (hows that for foreshadowing ?). The MC's behavior at the end was especially disturbing. UGH ! why cant it be Thursday already !
Mislandor
I loved this chapter! Thank you. I definitely saw the weeping angels and I loved it!
Robert Shaw
So rather than saying this chapter required foreshadowing I think you could ditch the interaction with the two hunters. Just have her run into the creature. You can explain after the fact that a few people had gone missing from neighboring villages and that she didn't know because she had left the village and then been working on the arrow. Could even mention some legend rather than the missing villagers. I think what is throwing people is mentioning the missing villagers and then immediately running into it. I think its fine not to lead up to every bit of action with foreshadowing.
Sindre
Oh, please. Don't be such a hindsight-Andy. Taking a scroll around the village (yes, still inside the village) when she is proven the most capable to spot magical creatures from far away doesn't make her stupid. If she as one of the most powerful people in the village can't walk around in it without supervision, then by proxy, everyone in the village are stupid for ever leaving their own front door. I do admit the scene happened quite abruptly though, and too soon after the last combat altercation.
Håvard
Reel is with Kervin on the road so noting.
Kevin Caffrey
Good action, but it doesn’t fit the story. If you wanted a Halloween special, you could have made it clear it was not canon. If it’s canon, it needs build up, like foreshadowing for the monster and world building for the sacrificial magic. Also her actions screamed “idiot MC” when she immediately went off on her own after learning about the trouble, which is always annoying.
Matt S.
I liked the chapter, sure there could have been more foreshadowing, but as others pointed out, not everything happening in a world has to be foreshadowed. Mental resistance not working against a monster almost a hundred levels above you is natural. If anything the most unnatural part of the chapter to me seemed that we didn't get a view of her stats after she finished the arrow, which is probably only due to this chapter being written outside of your ordinary schedule. Also in my country we don't have a strong culture around Halloween so I didn't even realize this was a Halloween special until you said it. As such I can say it didn't feel significantly out of place compared to any other chapter (otherwise I would have noticed). It's a bit unexpected that the magic system seems to allow health being used as sacrifice in spells. I think you have to clarify how or why this works, because otherwise people could just cast spells using health even if they don't have mana. I mean this could be kind of like blood magic in MoL where "life force" is a type of mana linked to the body and soul and using it leaves you weakened (or dead), but it comes out of the blue and unless you have some world building / magic system building prepared for this may want to consider revising it.
Obsidianking
I think we all forgot one thing also, what is reel seeing and thinking while this is all going down. he just sees Aaliyah either disappear in the middle of the village or sees her turn into a zombie March out and she vanishes in the barrier he had to be freaking out
Thundermike00
That..was...EPIC!
Desurtfawks
Please please please, have our two hunters be clueless as to the rumor!!! "What monster? What do you mean people abducted? We talked you? Not since you left for city. Come on lets go hunt some spiders."
Carl Mason
I don't think she turned into a monster, she just went a little level-crazy and maybe took in too much of the greedy hunger of this thing. But thankfully the eyes were there to smack a little Sense Soul into her.
Carl Mason
Maybe she is just too much of a novice to notice those things? But rather than her guessing the correct investment to power the spell, it felt to me more like she just judged what she was willing to lose and sacrificed that. There was mention of sacrificial magic a while ago and I would not be surprised if it was made "popular" because it is so much stronger. Possibly. Clarification would be nice.
Desurtfawks
Thank you for the chapter! I don't know how I feel about the monster being mentioned as rumour, and there almost in the same breath appearing... Maybe its a bit rushed? It would have almost have been better if he wasn't mentioned at all if surprise and horror was what you were going for. A lot of people don't like it... but I'm fine with it! I don't remember how bad losing 10 vitality points is though? Need to go back and check! EDIT: last chapter we looked at stats was chapter 56, with Aliya at 209 vitality. So ~5% of her vitality lost for this... pricey but not too crazy. I wonder if it was really worth it though? WAIT was it the monster telling her that he was killing people in other villages?!?!? OH MY GAWD!
Carl Mason
An excellent chapter, most enjoyable. It did come out of left field a bit, but it is very good and it slips in nicely to the rest of the story.
Drew Kerstens
You tied in her fifth tier skill in a way that gives her a unique way to expand upon it and showed that the story isn’t just going to follow an expected path and things will happen that no one will have any control over. I really enjoyed the chapter and think you did an amazing job.
Drew Kerstens
Ignoring Roberts pointless and long tantrum, it was a little bit of an abrupt change from the norm but that’s what’s I liked about it. You’ve eluded before to villages having to deal with unusual and powerful beings occasionally due to the dangers of living outside the walls and we have been seeing that repeatedly throughout the story in larger group threats. We had the goblins first then the horde of spiders. Now we have a perfect example of how on a Norma day with little to no warning a single rare creature can suddenly appear and steal away people that are usually unable to do anything about it.
Alex C
If you don't want to retcon earlier chapters you could even add a flash back to her childhood and add in some legends and ghost stories where the disappearances come up. I don't agree with the others that it's too far out of left field. It's a strange world of magic and monsters. Simply the implementation feels stained from the narrative side, it breaks your rising and falling action position with a sudden crescendo.
Alex C
First, I enjoyed it, and I agree anything could come out of such a strange world at any time. This thing could have been slowly moving around the edges of society for centuries. A couple ghost stories on earlier chapters when she was a child would have helped set it up though. Maybe something to do for publishing. Then the biggest issue is just the coincidence of getting warned then immediately finding it. Would be better if she hadn't been warned and then they discovered later other disappearances from other villages in some way. The coincidence is the biggest oddity, though not impossible just less believable then the monster itself. Lastly... The sacrifice of points. That should be something at least that is difficult? Maybe the spell is more painful or tries to cancel there? What wouldn't anyone with magic use that as a trump card and she would have heard about it before? Is it something only she can do because of her soul sense? Del's discussion on sacrificial skills to me didn't directly translate to something like this. It feels like she's dying so sacrifices it, which should be difficult, but she only gives 10? She isn't confident about killing it so sacrifices stats but it feels like it should be a lot more if it's something she can just choose to do. If she can't choose to do it on a whim more difficulty in doing it should be explained.
Håvard
It fitt the setting, but the timing does not fit the story. To start with no foreshadowing, just having the disappearances come up befor is enough. What where the readers excited about last chapter? The generals reaction to the arrow. That one is the big one for me. We have thos big build up of story tention toward that point last chapter the arrow where finished this chapter we get to see what skill levels she got and the generals reaction. This chapter where foreshadowed to be the big end point for that event chain. We did not get that we did not get to see the reaction we where waiting for. The story progression is missing an chapter. There is no reason we cant go forward in time to the meeting with the general then back in time to this chapter. So long both chapters start by stating how long it's been since Kervin left the vilage. The start of that chapter can be us seeing her gains and beeing told about the disappearances. We get the start of this section and the end of the last in one chapter. That chapter is missing.
Loki-L
That came out of nowhere and seemed rather disconnected from the rest of the story. It might have worked better if foreshadowing in earlier chapters had led into this. I guess wanting it to be ready for Halloween lead to a bit of a rush. I would have preferred a chapter with the mc going over her gains from the making of the arrow and some hints at the new danger being dropped first.
Gabriel Tan
I don't get why people aren't happy with the chapter. I feel that it fits the setting that horrible monsters exist and could wander anytime. Kind of like the invisible spiders mascarading as trees.
Adevna
Before I critique, I'd like to say I really enjoyed the monster. The fight itself was fun and interesting. I also understand that this was something special for Halloween. I appreciate that effort a great deal. That being said, there's no segue into this chapter. I feel that we needed some prior notice, because without that it seems forced. If there are a few minor scenes peppered into previous chapters, I think this can work.
Robert Mullins
I think if you wanted to do this and make it work as an actual part of the story rather than a "what if" chapter you'd have to set it up as a mini-arc. And you'd also have to setup sacrificial magic properly, properly foreshadow this creature, and explain why it isn't slaughtering entire towns/countries since Aaliyah is the only person we know of who can even notice it.
Håkan Friberg
Anyway, I liked it as a Halloween chapter. Since it was a "bonus" chapter the foreshadowing can be forgiven :P Thanks!
Håkan Friberg
The vitality sacrifice makes it so it's something you don't want to use all to often. But perhaps not toss in three different modifications? Just the vibration and sacrifice of the sword should be enough. Then she could have pushed in the sword by herself, if even just barely? Stil sacrifice loads of mana but then she get a backlash of drained health that leaves her scared of using it as a thrumph-card in the future.
Robert Mullins
Plus you just threw away your entire magic system and said fuck you, we can do anything now..
Robert Mullins
It honestly just gets more annoying the more I think about it. Nothing about this creature existing in this world makes sense because it could kill literally anyone and everyone without ever getting caught. Also, again it's completely out of nowhere and not in a good way. It feels like someone stole your patreon account and posted this.
Robert Mullins
Is this an actual chapter or is this just a joke for Halloween?
Imp
So, fun Halloween chapter, but doesn't really feel like it fits in the normal story. Too many inconsistancies, too many major changes, etc. Other than that, enjoyable.
Robert Mullins
It felt like an April fool's chapter where you just went somewhere random as a joke. The whole doesn't feel like it fits the story at all and I was expecting her to 'wake up' at any point and it be a dream.
Nick
Like the story, I think it could be foreshadowed a bit earlier as this was a very abrupt change from the previous chapters? Maybe something mentioned when she visited town in a previous chapter?
closeded
I feel like I would have enjoyed the chapter more if you noted at the start that its a halloween chapter. That or separate finding out about the disappearances from finding the monster by a few chapters, like how you did with the spiders. Otherwise I liked it.
anon
I usually don't comment when I don't like the direction of a story because I feel like the author should have the freedom to take the story wherever they want. This chapter was however dissapointing to me. It felt like a filler arc, completely disconnected from the rest of the story and zero foreshadowing. It also felt too forced. Mental resistance is usually enough for her to ignore compulsions (atleast when she is trading with Kervin) but in this case it was just high enough for her to realise that something was wrong at the last possible moment and then her t5 skill completely counters this creature. I get that the monster is on a much higher level than Kervin but this is too much plot armour for my taste. I really enjoy this story and I hope you keep on writing. This was the first chapter that I've read that actually dissapointed me and did not make me exited for the next chapter.
Mr Ove
First I want to say that I love the chapter but I agree with a lot of comments about it coming out of nowhere I think as a lot of people have also said you should put Easter eggs in a few of the chapters before hand. Other then that I like the chapter and monster was cool I hope this helps her unlock more skills, also it be nice to see how much lvl she get after this. And lastly the sacrifice points? Where did that come from.. she stated permanently so does that mean she can say “I’ll give up 10x for a month?” To impower the spell? Or even give up some exp she gained from that lvl. So like “I’ll give all of the exp I have gained since I hit 64(or what her lvl is) as of now” (I tried to word it in a way that you give up the exp for that lvl so you go back to 0exp in 64 but you don’t lose all exp you gain if that make sense otherwise he be stuck at that lvl)
Abdullah
Ngl i was sad when I read this chapter (i really wanted the general one now and Im sad cuase now idk if i want this aftermath other the general vs deathless with aaliyah arrow and kervin selling said arrow) I do agree this was sudden and maybe some foreshadowing in other chapters would make way better even if its just a comment "high level guys are going missong so be careful by kervin to aalilyah last chapter"
SpaceGoddess76
I agree with most people on here the chapter came out of nowhere. Maybe if you can go back to previous chapters and add some extra info it won’t be so bad. I don’t like that she sacrificed 10 vitality it just puts her at a big disadvantage. I understand not wanting to have your soul eaten & possible perma-death. I just feel she should either get a big boon out of this or have sacrificed something like 1 Stat point from each category rather than 10 from a single one. A possible boons: *) Her soul tendrils where able to grab into some of the creatures vitality as it was apart of its soul and dispersing. Possibly even other stats? (Especially the magic stat)
MagicWafflez
if i were you, I'd retcon in a *lot* of foreshadowing. add the stat sacrifice to the discussion of magic spells, add the missing villagers to when she gets back from drey. if this is going on how are her parents *not* pissed about her running off alone?
Shade
It feels very weird. Even more so because Aalyiah is improving at a rapid pace already and it feels like she will improve even faster once she begins working on engraving and other advanced materials projects. Even more because sense mana is tier 1 and mana manipulation is not. So if she got soul manipulation it gotta be tier 6 which is ... a bit too soon no? How about she stares at the monster until night then began to cry and the monster flee? No levels bump and maybe some clues to level sense soul seems a lot more balanced no? Maybe she can’t cast the sacrificial spell either or if she can it only hurts and doesn’t kill. Thank you anyway for the chapter, it just feels a lot more side story than main line, u can even introduce another character and make the encounter from its POV, like a flashback from a really high levelled individual with lots of problem sleeping. Fighting ! One quite weird chapter isn’t enough to change my opinion on the story, it’s just normally focused on crafting and personnal growth, and I don’t quite know how to take this one chapter. Sorry for the rant.
Mormeg
I still like it btw
Mormeg
I know its a lot to ask but maybe to avoid rushing an option could be as doble post or significantly longer chapter
Cobbly
did this even happen? It appears and is dealt with so suddenly that it feels like a non canon nightmare chapter. You should've set up this monster at least 1 chapter in advance if it's canon. If it's not canon... kinda cool! Weird ending tho
Melting Sky
Yeah, I think that was part of why the pacing felt off. She would have normally taken a moment to reflect on her accomplishments and process her gains after a big project like that. This chapter is cool, but it feels a little out of order chronologically. The foreshadowing news of the disappearances should have come in a chapter before this one rather than minutes before the fight and it feels like there should perhaps be a chapter before this one with her reflecting on the her latest smithing achievement and gains, breaking the news of the bandit attack to her folks, and deciding to take the out of character vacation she was on in this chapter in order to help clear her head. The girl has been through a rapid fire series of big life changing events recently so it makes sense that she would want to pause and process all of this now that she has a moment to breath.
Comiak
This chap just feels off and a lot of mistakes were made in writing this. overall I was kinda disappointed in this chapter. Yes, big powerful monsters can just pop out of nowhere but you really should have foreshadowed an event like this with folklore or something. villagers disappearing in such a way would likely create myths, legends, and folklore. For an event that would level the MC up several times needs proper buildup and needs to feel like everything is coming to that point This chapter just doesn't flow right with the rest of the previous chapters, if you really want things to play out this way I would really recommend re-writing this and have the R&R chap with the disappearance rumors then another chap where things start to get worrying like the MC seeing a big fuzzy shape bearly seen in the forest line before the event play out. I also would not have the MC immediately figure out how to make the soul tendrils, maybe after surviving, and have a good amount of time explaining how she makes it work should she gain that ability and likey another 5th tier skill. right now it just feels like a cheap unnatural power growth.
yawn
I cant wait to read the pov of kevin and the general when the arrow is delivered
meatybyte
Feedback: For the spell's wording, I suggest swapping out the word "thin" with something specific such as "1 millimetre" (or "1/25 Inch" for you imperial users) barrier. Everything else was specified so it didn't feel right to have something interpretable left in the spell when she clearly knows better by now.
Melting Sky
Neat chapter. My only complaint is the pacing feels rushed, but that could easily be resolved by adding a few lines of dialogue foreshadowing the creature somewhere in earlier chapters, even if it was just a throw away line or two from her merchant friend or one of the villagers warning her about the news of strange disappearances in a near by town. The way the foreshadowing occurs like five minutes before the encounter is way too on the nose. Just a brief throw away conversation a couple of chapters back about the disappearances followed by this nasty encounter blind siding her with no real warning this chapter would be much more effective and effective and scary.
George Watermelon
Unbelievable! I am so excited by the chapter! This plot twist opens so many perspectives for development! Kosnik, you made the scene look like Aaliyah is going to level up more than one time just because of assimilation of experience! Maybe even 3 times or four! Ancient beast from nightmares, ultimate predator, harvesting thousands of powerful souls during hundreds of years, directly collecting their XP points should cost billions of XP points when killed. Just look at the side effects! And it goes even further! Aaliyah copied the XP-absorbing/soul-absorbing skill, and I am absolutely sure, it became the second 5 tier skill in her arsenal! This is a good reason such a rapid increase in levels should come! Oh boy, I am looking forward to seeing what will happen next! Please, Kosnik, let her get what she deserves, don't nerf consequences! You raised the heat of passion very high, don't let it turn into a zilch)
Tetsuki
You didn't read the authors note did you?
meatybyte
Thanks for the Halloween Chapter Kosnik! I'm now very interested in the repercussion of Aaliyah learning to absorb more ''soul energy'' as I assume that it goes further than her just getting more XP per kill. I also hope this is foreshadowing for the greater level of challenges she is about to face since she was starting to get comfortable and we all know that can never happen to a protagonist. The boulder must grow ever bigger! Edit: We get to see her craft a new weapon now, maybe a polearm this time! P.S. I hope the next chapter has the General in it. Please ^_^
Tomáš Blábol
Great chapter,not as good as others though and I don't like the sacrificed vitality.
ClapTrapCL4TP
If there was a hint of it in the previous chapter it might not have felt so rushed, good overall, also the body just dissipates kinda disappointing.
Ungrave
I suspect that the thing probably just goes back into high mana areas to hibernate for long periods after it gets enough soul... energy or whatever. Definitely a new arrival to the area, but luckily it specializes in defence and illusion. I am curious to see what the local folklore actually looks like with these things exsisting and all.
Swinter
This was awful storytelling, really. It could have been exciting if you had begun alluding to the creatures existence already when she got back to her village. You could have interspersed a few lines of worry about people disappearing throughout the crafting of the arrow. As it was, I was shaking my head about the weeping angel suddenly appearing and it just happens to be so close to halloween. It felt super out of place.
D
Interesting helloween chapter. Still, she didnt even look at her stats at the beginning or tell us how much her skill rose after she forged that special arrow? Now thats just mean, we want to know too, you know? ^^ Also, maybe its just me, but the most 'creepy' thing about this chapter was the end when she was yelling she deserved more. Was she the monsters second coming? x))
Not my Real Name
I think this is non-canon? Or did she turn into a monster in the end? If so maybe mark it as a bonus chapter/non-canon?
Tera
Great chapter! And nice touch with sacrifice and her becoming a monster in the end.( Well at least close) Is this chapter part of the main story-line? Or a spin-off?
MadGod
She managed to replicate the mana-soul tendrils from the monster so I imagine she might become capable of devouring souls herself and more than recoup her loss. I can only hope she doesn't chicken out and starts gorging on those goblin and spider souls.
Ninetails
It was both an exciting and disappointing read. I did not like her spending stats, as I understand how incredibly rare and hard to get they become, simply due to the more or less exponential curve of experience requirements, which means almost any flat amount of experience will not be worth it, as you effectively just reach the level earlier, but it does not change your experience generation by a lot, so you will be stuck at roughly the same place. Worse, since your stats are lower for that level, so it will be even harder to move beyond it. The only thing I can see being worth it, is if this give her something else that is incredibly valuable and able to permanently help her progress, such as her new being able to grow the core of her soul from some of the specially absorption from this monster. This would make sense, as the monster had probably done something similar with a similar technique.
Obran
Also, it is too bad the creature disintegrated into nothing because a monster 150+ leveled might mix even better as an alloy than the spider
Jywert
Yeah, "lovely" chapter. mistake? “You two,” they echo... you too?
Obran
10 points of vitality, what's that 2 levels?
Obran
It occurs to me that if something was pushing first the goblins, then the spiders, and now this thing out of the forest, that whatever is doing the pushing must be mighty scary.
Cerber
And it is going to be great! Dont know if i want to see a whole new chapter just to make another sword or katana. Maybe of the author added a new concept fpr the said new weapon?
MadGod
Hey there little girl! Wanna take a ride in Keter's van?
Zarik0
Well it came up of nowhere but its was interesting
Henry Wartemberg
Definitely approve! The only thing that triggered my ‘doesn’t quite make sense’ is how the sacrifice for the spell she cast seemed to be sufficient. I would imagine someone mire experienced and trained in spell casting would be able to accurately judge the exact right amount of magic/ health needed. For a relative novice like her some kind of description of that being an over investment (but feeling it go anyway) or under investment and feeling the spell structure wobble and lack stability or something makes sense to me 🤷🏿♂️
Todd Kloos
"You two,"-> "You too,"
Emma Carlin
I agree that the pacing did feel a little bit rushed, but at the same time life sometimes is super unexpected and random. In the long run I don't think this type of chapter is bad as long as it doesn't happen super frequently. On a different note, why must you leave us on a cliff like this 🥺
DNAjester
Great chapter! But that cliff
Call0013
Looking forward to seeing what Skill gains she gets from this Fight.
Obsidianking
Interesting chapter it did feel a bit rushed, they mention the mysterious incidents then bam it hits her. If something was this old and powerful it would have been spiriting away people for years or even generations, and it could have been a legend or a folk story of people going into the woods to die, but its the monster harvesting them.. besides that continuity issue awesome fight, and creature creation something like this is just terrifying kinda reminded of bongo bongo from ocarina of time. Also this is a great way for her to learn how powerful her tier 5 skill really can be. We haven't seen her use it to be all that powerful, but now we got a glimpse into what she could do eventually with this power. Last thing is she going to creat soul engraving or enchanting by mixing magic and soul ability eventually
Enif
Loved it. Definitely out of left field though. Very unexpected. Im guessing that this is a precursor to her getting soul manipulation.
Dantalia
is this an actual chapter? I Love this chapter and really really want to know what happens next! please do not take too long to release the next chapter. :)
Michael Kosarick
Thanks for the chapter
The other DB
I was going to write something similar but instead I'll just second your post.
Stephen Pearson
Awesome art, nicely done:-)
Bacon Sir
Inspired by SCP? Not complaining, just curious
Ungrave
That was out of left field, but incredibly good. I read enough skin walker stories before this to know the moment she started talking about this guy that something was changing her memories. All there is to complain about really is the fact that it's not Thursday, and I really am looking forward to seeing what happens next. Thanks for the chapter!
Blood Shade Games
Thanks for the chapter
ZCochraine!%
Absolutely out of nowhere, and escalated quick *insert escalated quickly meme here*. transitions could be better, but very interesting. Will need some decent explanation once she wake up again on wha that think was, even if its only to know that someone else knows so she and us can learn about it later (perhaps alongside other high level monsters that have been reported). And her sacrificing permanent vitality sounds a little much even for her, and since its only at 20% of her mana that she gets tiered, she can gust have 750 mana instead of 700. Even realising that she needs to use custom spells as such, obviously very important, could have made it more impactful. Perhaps he being bedridden even after spending a few chapters in her soul dealing with all that xp, and memories from a probably very alien mind. Though as Milandaaza said is should be stated as the Halloween special, though perhaps it is from this that it is hinted/eater-egged how she learns to extract experience.
Andrew
Thank you!
Alteron
Thanks for the chapter, spooky :-)
Incraze
cheers for the chapter! Also did some fanart if people want to check it out~! https://www.deviantart.com/lncraze/art/Aaliyah-859955434
Imspinnennetz
So she has now lost both her sword and her knife. Looks like she is going to be busy remaking a lot of new weapons for her self.
Milandaanza
Yesss updates ty While this story was awesome it did not feel like it fit the flow of the story. Random OP monster. Permanent stat sacrifices we have never heard of before? Learning to gain extra xp? It seems more protagonist then Aaliyah has been. If this is a Halloween special please mark it as such otherwise it just feels off. Edit; Figured out one of the biggest reasons it feels like a special rather then an actual chapter. You do amazing buildups to story points and this entire chapter is pretty much a one-shot rather then part of the overall arc.
Tim Maguire
Thanks for the chapter
Stephen Pearson
Woohoo! Thanks for the chapter:-)
Kosnik4
Corrections
