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Critical Tits, Chapter 2
🕑 Added 2021-05-30 04:21:27 +0000 UTCSo here's some more Critical Tits. (I still giggle at that title. I apologize for nothing.) We get to see a little of Cynthia's reaction to her d4 from chapter 1, and what fresh hells await her to earn the next die. Go read it! It's fun. Below is merely some musings on the craft of this particular story, so if that interests you, go for it, but it's mostly me yammering.
Writing something like this is tricky. I am a sort of lightweight academic who's well-versed in things we're taught in high school but weak as hell in things people learn as real adults, so while I positively adore jargon, I am easily left in the dust unless it's one of the three topics I've decided to apply myself to. Tabletop RPGs (especially the myriad d20 varieties) are one such, so it's an experiment in whether I can delve into a story that's focused on something in which I can easily go pedal to the metal on the jargon without losing people who are less well-versed (or completely uninitiated).
There's glimpses of it, a group of CR 4 guards vs. a level 1 party (which anybody who's played knows is essentially a DM announcing that you have lost the fight or need to start running). Discussions of the ways to incorporate a d4 such as using off-size weapons, that kind of thing. It'd be easy to write scenes and dialogue incorporating a lot of game mechanics, and in a lot of ways more realistic. Watching people play a TTRPG you don't know is, like many jargon-rich environments, practically a foreign language. You need some of that to sell it as a real setting, but at the same time, I'm trying not to get too heavy on it to take people who like my writing but maybe haven't ever given D&D a try and turn them away.
Anyway, if you have thoughts on how I'm doing, feel free to share in the comments. More to come!
Comments
qxvw198
I like the chapter. It wouldn't seem like mind control if she wasn't pushed, step by step, way out of her comfort zone. Once she starts looking and acting like someone with a 16 charisma, we will know she is there. 😊
WDB
It's... this one feels real bleak? I'm not completely sure why. I mean, I have a *guess*: the three dudes in this story. They really put the "male" in "malevolent". They tell that lady to *smile more*! Holy shit! I'm not usually rooting for the dudes in MD mind control stories to get eviscerated at the end, but these three, MAN. Definitely reconsidering my policy. Otherwise, good story?
WDB
Not a lot of points of Charisma among Brent and Andy, are there? (I am sorry for trying an RPG joke!)
