icebear
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Early release, "Neighbors From Back When"
🕑 Added 2018-04-19 17:15:24 +0000 UTC ***UPDATE*** WDB pointed out that the perspective was shifting back and forth between first and third person like crazy. (Thanks for saying something!) I've smoothed this out (maybe missed a little, but it's not at least in the territory of typos and not confusing literary nightmares).A few weeks back, I was sitting at my mom's place relaxing when the doorbell rang and one of her neighbors (nobody I knew) was there doing some solicitation for a school extracurricular. I humored him, since I'm a former teacher and I'm always a sucker for education-related stuff like that. But when he left, I was laying there daydreaming and thought... what if the neighbor had been a girl. And hot. And offered to go down on me. (It was a happy daydream.)
So with that happy thought, I threw together this flimsy premise for shenanigans. I'll do a little editing before it releases on Literotica and the EMCSA -- a few points I want to stress, some flavor notes I want to change a bit on reconsideration -- but I wanted to get it to y'all as an early release. If you want to wait for the final version, feel free to hold off until Saturday's update on the EMCSA. At any rate, enjoy, and more to come!
Comments
Ice Bear
Yes! Now I remember this one! I had completely forgotten the title, but it did actually enter my mind while I was writing - that whole quirk of having a weird name that triggers the control. That was a fun story - thanks for the reminder.
WDB
Scrubbed from the EMCSA, archived on the Wayback Machine - <a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20090514144107/http://www.mcstories.com/EdselDunstable/index.html" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">http://web.archive.org/web/20090514144107/http://www.mcstories.com/EdselDunstable/index.html</a>
Ice Bear
I don't know that one, and I can't seem to find it with basic google fu. Can you provide a link?
WDB
Great stuff. I'm not usually one for bimbo stories, but this was excellent. Nice escalation through the characters, solid individual scenes, and a really clever premise. It reminded me a bit of Black Swan's "Edsel Dunstable", which is one of my all-time faves. Thanks!
Ice Bear
Ugh, I know. I started it in 3rd person, but every time I took a break and came back to it, my brain kicked it into first person. Always happens more when I start off from a day-dreamy premise, that trouble removing the self from it. And of course with all the dialogue, I can't just do a simple find/replace I --> he, etc. But I am glad you liked it despite that. :D
Harry
The point of view keeps jumping around, but I really enjoyed this
