authorchrisvines
patreon
EG Monster Island Chapter 13
🕑 Added 2021-05-03 03:28:13 +0000 UTC***AUTHOR'S NOTE****
Thanks for all the comments and corrections that y'all've been giving. I'm sorry I haven't been more responsive in the comments area, but I am reading them. I'll try to be more active in my response. Thanks for bearing with me.
***AUTHOR'S NOTE****
The next day was spent sparring, giving Vaya, Jamila, and Milena a workout in healing everyone. Stabs, burns, bruises, cracked bones, you name it, they healed it. Even with the amulets reducing the amount of damage done by any single attack, it added up over time.
By the end of the day, we had all gotten used to the new speed at which we could channel Aether as well as any extra range we’d gotten. Librarian Narwan came in the middle of the afternoon, looked at all of us, and proclaimed, “You are ready to learn how to create an area technique. Some of you will have trouble with it, but that is acceptable. Normally, I do not teach area techniques until you are at least Circulation, if not (Level after). Tomorrow morning, we will begin. Tomorrow afternoon will be team sparring, with one team resting while the others battle it out. Keep practicing now.”
We bowed to him, then I turned back to Vaya, who just gave me the come and get it wave. I laughed, then charged at her. Three meters away, though, I leapt into the air, stepping on a platform of Air to jump over her head, dodging the whips of Wood that shot out of the ground. I landed just behind her, blocking a reverse stab from her left hand as she pulled her right sword out of the ground. I circled my blocking hand, dropping my right trisula to wrap my arm under her armpit and behind her neck before brining the left blade to her throat.
“If you wanted to cuddle, you could have just asked,” Vaya purred, leaning into me.
“I, uh, um, uh,” I stammered, blushing as I let her go.
She turned around, stepped into my arms, and lightly kissed me, “You are too fun. I thought I had you.”
“I guessed that you were going to do that,” I gestured at the dissolving vines from her technique. “Have you tried just kneeling instead of stabbing the ground?”
“Yes. I still do not have enough range. The technique starts about a meter underground. Any closer and it does not work for some reason. I have tried to modify it, but then the vines are not strong enough to hold any target I would need them to,” she shrugged, her arms still wrapped around my neck.
“You’ll get there. Hey, who did you give your time to?” I asked, a smile gracing my lips.
“Princess Aleksandra,” she responded. “She needs to be stronger than us, and only made it to the hundred fifty seventh step. All the other nobles did not do as well.”
“So why did you?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“I was not coddled, and have always known I would have to force my will upon my parents if I did not want to be traded to another house as a bargaining chip,” she said. “If I want to have my own choice, to lead my own life, I have to push for what I want with all of my mind and heart. So far, it seems to be working.”
She pulled me in for another kiss, which lasted until Knight Kaminski yelled at us, “It is time to practice fighting, not pillow work! Or do I need to separate you two?”
Vaya jumped away from me, blushing harder than I was. I shook my head and laughed, overflowing in happiness at how my life had turned out. We sparred for another hour, before breaking for dinner. Jamila sat right next to me while eating, making a point of holding my hand. I pulled her into a hug and kiss just before food was settled. “You are doing amazing,” I encouraged her, then we turned to eat.
After dinner, I flagged down Librarian Narwan. “Uh, sir, I was hoping you could help me examine something I made last night.”
“Here or at the workshop Knight Kaminski rented?” He grunted at me.
“Uh, the workshop is probably better, though anywhere you can throw up a shield would be fine,” I shrugged back at him.
“There is fine. Let us see if you can surprise me again,” he laughed, then announced the departure to the workshop in five minutes. I ran to my room, and joined Jon in packing materials.
He still would not tell me what he was working on, only assuring me, “You will love it when you see it. We will win the next competition handedly.”
“Really, not going to tell me what it is so we can plan around it?” I asked.
“The day before, once I am sure it will work,” he said.
“Fine,” I squinted at him, then laughed. “I can’t wait! Maybe I’ll have something to show as well.”
He just shook his head as we both hurried down to the lobby. Librarian Narwan did not have the patience that (name) had, and we almost had to sprint to the workshop to keep up. This time, though, there were nine people and only six rooms. Vaya ended up tagging along with me and Librarian Narwan. “So, what did you want to show me?” He asked, not noticing or caring that Vaya was in the room. Not that I had secrets from her.
“Uh, can you set up a shield behind this,” I said, putting down a thick steel plate I’d grabbed from Ming that morning. “And, uh, shield your eyes from Light Aether if you can. If not, uh, I used a mix of Earth and Metal Aether to make this,” I showed him my makeshift sunglasses. “Otherwise, I guess Vaya can heal our eyes.”
He laughed, then made a bubble around the plate. “There, light levels coming out of the plate will be reduced by over ninety five percent. That good enough?”
I nodded, then pulled out the laser. All six gems on it glowed with stored Light Aether. I pushed it through the bubble, barely able to see anything beyond it, then triggered it. Nothing happened for another few seconds, but this time I didn’t jump when a spot to the right of center started to glow brightly. My eyes hurt, and I quickly put on some sunglasses with my technique, though not as thick as yesterday. After another couple of seconds, I tried to turn it off, and nothing happened. “Uh, crap, it’s not stopping,” I said, then set the laser down to hopefully let it run out.
It took nearly half an hour, and Librarian Narwan had to reinforce the bubble to not let anything out of it to stop damage to the wall behind the plate. It had taken almost thirty second to melt through, but that left twenty nine minutes before the laser finally ran out of Aether. “Oops,” I said when the shield dropped to reveal two blobs of melted metal.
“Amazing,” Librarian Narwan said. “How?”
“Uh, a mirror with a small hole in it and a bunch of enhancement runes,” I said.
“Explain,” his tone said he wasn’t amused.
Vaya laughed from the other side of the room, where she’d been working on an Inscription after the shield became total. I glared at her for a second, before describing what I’d designed and how a laser worked.
“Should we try to create a lasing medium, like you described? Or is this sufficient,” he gestured.
“Uh, I think I should change one of the gems into a sink, so that the energy generated by the system is drained away into it when we hit the stop button,” I said. “I think just stop in the input didn’t change much, since what was in there was being enhanced until it finally escaped or the system ran out. Uh, six gems is probably too much.”
“Change two to be sinks, but this is amazing. I had never thought to enhance each pass through by a small amount. How many crystals do you have?”
“Uh, I’m down to three, but I should have enough left on this one,” I pulled out the sliced up piece, “to make one more set of lenses. Uh, since the first set melted with the steel tube they were placed in.”
“Good, show me,” he commanded.
I dug into my bag, pulled out the last tube, then carefully cut it in half.
“Why?” He asked.
“Uh, why what, sir?” I asked back.
“Why did you cut it in half?”
“Uh, so I can Inscribe the inside?”
“You have more than enough range from your skin to Inscribe it without cutting,” he stated simply.
“But how would I know what I’m carving? Isn’t it easier to make a mistake?”
“Yes, but now you have to avoid a small area around the cut line, so that you can weld it back into place, right? Is that any better than possibly making a mistake? Hmm, how about I get a series of tubes and just make you carve runes on the inside. Yes, that would be a good test for Aether control.” He smiled predatorily, “I can do that for everyone. Good training idea, Aiden.”
Vaya glared at me. I gulped, thinking of the response of the others to a new training regime. You know, on top of what we had already been planning on doing. I’m pretty certain Librarian Narwan would be happier if he could figure out how to replace our sleep alchemically and make us train during that time period too.
“Hmm, first, though, show me your technique. I am sure there will be much to criticize,” he gestured at the cut open tube.
I nodded and pulled out my Inscription supplies. Carefully drawing out the runes, I started sweating. Trying not to nervously look at Librarian Narwan or Vaya, I wiped my sleeve over my forehead. I measured and drew, referencing the note page I’d put together every couple of strokes of the pen. Once done, I pulled out the engraving pen, but Librarian Narwan stopped me. He picked up the two pieces and looked over them a bit, before pointing to several spots. “Here, here, and here your lines are too wide. Here and here they are too thin. This will cause Aether buildup here that will overload the metal’s capability. Redraw it,” he gestured, and a micro-sized blade of Aether shaved off the ink to leave bare metal behind.
“This is amazing,” Vaya said while I took the cut tube from Librarian Narwan again. “I am going to work on my own idea over here. Let me know when you are ready?”
I smiled and nodded, “Of course. Can’t be too fun to watch me redo stuff over and over again. What are you going to work on?”
“I have been working on a healing Inscription. It really only speeds up recovery, but I thought it would be useful, and let me focus more on controlling the fight than healing,” she said, looking to the side.
“That is awesome,” I said. “Do you need any help with that?”
“Knight Kaminski has been very helpful, but I will not say no to one of those Blue Stars,” she grinned at me, batting her eyelashes. I just looked at her, until she giggled, “Please.”
I laughed, then dug into my bag to get one of my last few. I felt Librarian Narwan’s eyes roll behind me. He then coughed lightly, so I winked at Vaya before bending back over my attempted laser. I redrew the runes, was critiqued on them, and then drew them again. Six more times.
Finally, the last attempt was worse than the first, and Librarian Narwan said, “You are almost there, but will not make it tonight. Good progress today. Tomorrow, we will discuss runes and carving them internal to a structure. For now, go back to (inn name) and rest. There will be more physical training in the morning.”
“Will do, sir,” I said, standing and bowing just as he vanished. I turned to Vaya, who had six pieces of parchment rolled on the desk she was using while drawing on a seventh.
I waited, watching as she slowly traced an intricate rune. The dark green ink was heavily infused with Aether, and she applied yet more while drawing. Ten minutes passed, then she scattered some sand over the ink and blotted it dry. She carefully rolled it up, tied it shut, then set it aside. I coughed, and she jumped.
“Oh, sorry,” she said, “Are you done?”
“For now. Are you? I have no problem waiting,” I answered.
“No, it is late,” she packed away her ingredients and instruments.
“So, how did the Inscriptions go?” I asked, cleaning up the area I used at the same time.
“Well, they did not burn up or explode. So maybe?” She chewed her lip. “They should work, but I do not know how well they will work. Testing them would require injury, which I am not really interested in stabbing someone to check.”
“Too bad we can’t grab one of the Illyrians to test,” I said wickedly.
“If we end up fighting them in the next round, we could see then,” she said.
“Yeah, but then we’ll want to heal ourselves anyway,” I replied. “As much as I hate them, if they are here they will be a challenge. Hopefully Librarian Narwan will give us a rundown of the types of gathering that every nation does. What is the difference between how an Ashkha and an Illyrian will fight? What are our strong points versus them, and our weak points? Knowing that will let us plan a bit more.”
Vaya grabbed my hand, her other one holding her bag over her shoulder. “I am sure they will tell us what we need to know. If not, we can ask, but let us not add more work to an already full schedule. Okay?” I did not recognize that tone fast enough, and so didn’t dodge the poke and tickle that followed it.
“Okay,” I laughed, trying to get away but she didn’t let go of my hand. “Fine, okay. I won’t ask any more questions, I promise.”
“That is not what I said and you know it,” she pouted at me. I pulled her into a hug. “Fine, yes, I know it is not your fault. Just as I know that Librarian Narwan is going to make us practice manipulating Aether that we cannot see.” She poked me again.
“Yup, but come on. It’s late. Let’s go to bed,” I pulled her out the door.
“If you want us to go to bed, I will need to stop by an Alchemist first,” she said, smiling seductively at me.
“I, uh,” I stammered, “that is,”
She laughed, “I know your feelings, and share them, but you are fun to tease. I will have to get Jamila into making you blush too. You are quite cute this way.”
“Meanie,” I grumbled. We chit chatted a bit more, enjoying each other’s company as we walked back. I said goodnight to her at her door, leaning in to kiss her quite thoroughly.
After breaking off, she hugged me tight, putting her head on my shoulder. “Each new day is an adventure, and I cannot wait to see what it will bring. By your side,” she mumbled into my chest.
“Together, we will see the world,” I said, then squeezed her tight and opened her door.
“Do you want to switch with me, Aiden?” Bridget asked, smirking up from her bed at me.
“No, but thank you for the offer,” I said, trying desperately to control the blush.
“Unless you want to switch because Jon?” Vaya said slyly.
“Well, duh,” Bridget said. “He’s mine.” She waggled her eyebrows at us. “So, what do you say?”
“Hey, you used a contraction! I’m slowly corrupting all of you,” I laughed, trying to change the subject.
“Not right now,” Vaya said. “We are not really ready to share a room, much less a bed.”
“Too bad,” Bridget grumbled.
“Goodnight Bridget,” I said forcefully. “And goodnight Vaya. See you both in the morning.” I quickly turned and walked out, the door shutting out a budding argument between the two girls. I hurried to my room, ready to change into pajamas and go to bed.
“So, uh, did Bridget talk to you?” Jon asked as I walked in.
“About changing rooms? You want to room with her?” I asked.
“Well, uh, I asked her to marry me. I don’t think I will ever find someone else who fits me the way she does,” he said. “So she suggested we room together to see if we could live together.”
“It might work out, or it might not. Do you love her?” I asked. He nodded enthusiastically. “Then it will. Love is a choice, and an action. It is putting her needs above your own, while not neglecting yourself. It is patient, and kind, and selfless.”
Jon nodded again, smiling at my statement. “So, will you switch?”
“No, but I’ll leave if you need some time alone with her. Vaya and I are not ready for that. I,” I paused, not really sure on the custom here. “Uh, is it common to live together before marriage? Or to sleep with someone before marriage? I, um, haven’t really paid attention to that.”
“Well, it depends,” Jon said. “There are some people who want to stay inexperienced until marriage, or betrothal since it is difficult to break one off at least. Others do not care. I doubt anyone would be upset if you and Jamila were together. Vaya’s parents might be angry you did not seek them out first, but it would not last long.”
“And Bridget?” I asked, sitting on my bed. “What do you two believe?”
“Uh, what about you?” He responded.
“The place I was raised on my other world taught us to be pure until marriage, and I’ve believed that for as long as I’ve been interested in girls. It is hard at times, but I believe it is worth it,” I said. “But I’m not going to judge you and Bridget. What works for me works for me, not you.”
“Well, let’s move away from this awkward conversation,” Jon said, his tanned face getting darker with embarrassment. “What were you working on?”
“A laser, though it melted,” I said, then explained the concept to him. He nodded along with it, but I could tell he was mostly focused on not rolling his eyes at me. “Oh, fine. Let’s just go to bed. We can talk about the result when I manage to actually get it to work.”
“After training, anyway,” Jon laughed, then we extinguished the lamps and went to bed.
Comments
Maybe adding breakout chapters for the three ladies? Adding depth and advancing their characters would really help the reader's involvement. The trio makes sense in terms of potential strength, ultimately they will need to form a team with Aiden to save the world. That seems to be your ultimate plot correct? I think to sell that as the true goal they should be on or at least be building to all be on the same team... and then there is Sam?
Lori
Vaya and only Vaya. They are perfect for each other and the whole harem thing just doesn’t work here. In my humble opinion anyway. Lol
victoria bettley
Thanks for the extra clarification. Some interesting comments on this chapter. I'm probably going against the crowd to say that I would be happy with the princesses starting at friendship. I do think it works as their dynamic as the start is one of mutual respect. Also him marrying the Princess would make him part of royalty and all the complications that come with that. He would loose some freedom I'd imagine to chase his goal. I do however agree with the comments that Jamila had been very absent and the connection isn't as strong anymore. I don't see their dynamic as believe due to the lack of interaction. I did kinda like the suggestion that possibly she finds someone else. Maybe Ming or another character but could be harder to write given that Aiden has already spoken to her dad. All that said however, I also wouldn't be upset if he ended up with all 3 but I think it would change the tone to more of a harem and you'd probably need to put more time into relationship and character building to make it work well. Whichever way you decide to go I look forward to seeing what you come up with and the direction the story takes from here :)
Mark Thorne
I would also suggest losing the purity line. Its inconsistent with his background. Orphan, no strong parental figures, and unless he's super religious, physical purity won't be a priority. At all. Plus, he was a senior in college at a military academy... it just doesn't fit well. I'd suggest spinning it to be that Jasmine wanted to wait and he accommodated her, but that he has no issues with it. Now, he's waiting because anything he does with one girl will complicate the hell out of his relationship with the other UNLESS he waits. Add in the princess factor (for which there was an awful lot of buildup for just friendship), and yeah, then being chaste makes more sense.
got it! That is a good point, and I'll try and work more of the self-doubt into that chapter on the next run through. I'm probably going to change that section to be more introspective of his relationships and how they're working, or I might just drop it. Lots to think about, thanks!
I like the concept of not wanting to lose oneself. Having said that, to me, Aiden comes across as highly self-confident with no real self doubt at all thus far. You recently wrote a series of mini-character crises with the tower challenge which Aiden survived handily -- and which I liked and think worked quite well. Perhaps that's the place to dive into losing his "earth self?" I'm just a bit wary that the "Purity" storyline doesn't have enough of a foundation and consistency with current circumstances to drive the crisis you want to create.
So, I will be expanding on the conversation between Jon and Aiden in the chapter, if I keep that section at all. Aiden is reacting stronger than he really should be, here, because he is worried about losing the last bit of priorities, of convictions, that he held from Earth. He is afraid he's losing himself, becoming something else, and is unsure if he will like it. Of course, putting all this into words and properly describing it is difficult. As y'all have noted, I haven't been super good about character growth. I'm trying, but it is much easier to design a new technique than to figure out how people become better (or worse). That is one reason I really like y'all's feedback, as you help point out inconsistencies, places for them to change and grow, and other issues that pop up. Hopefully together we create a better story.
Hey, thanks for y'all's feedback! I'll definitely be working on this chapter a lot on the next pass. I'll try to give more responses this weekend, but there were a lot of good points raised by y'all. I'm still learning and growing as an author, so any feedback is good.
Looks like I may have deleted my comment here while editing it. Grrr -- text editors. I'll try to reproduce it from memory. Lasers & Foundations: Is it likely that we will see other laser types than "Light?" Having Darkness, Wood, Metal, etc that produce interesting effects could be fun. To put it another way, is it "Light" or Aether that is driving the laser effect in this world. Magic wands anyone? For Foundation building, I love the detail on the expansion of Foundations but I am not sure I am able to visualize it anymore. There is a center with a pool in it with a Essence core (with a Geist crystal in it now as well) at the bottom of the pool the way I think about it now. Circling the center are the openings to the meridians? Is this correct? On a related note, it would be nice to track how various characters' pools are expanding -- e.g. Vaya thought she had hit 2x from her original. I have no idea where Aiden is currently and what impact "Geist" had on expanding their Aether capacity -- e.g. pool size? From an earlier chapter: As a reward, you will be allowed to temper yourself with the Geist for the next twenty-four hours. The Geist will improve your Aether capacity and mental stamina.” How far ahead does this -- as well as the tempering of a second element -- put Aiden, Vaya, (and Lea?) over the other Craesti team members? Also, they are obviously going to go farther before returning to the academy. I'm wondering (more of a future plotting question) how they can possibly fit in with their class when they return having advanced so much.
Micke Andersson
I must agree with Sam. On several levels. First, this laser that can't be stopped. Secondly we're missing out on actual levelling ( their centers ). thirdly don't shove tons of new stuff on ut without letting is know how it affects what they are. Geist? And how does it interfere with gathering? KISS, search it out.
Ken
Anyone else feel like he was saying "uh" a bit to much in this chapter?
I relate well to it since I was pretty much the same way in my mid twenties. Had no problems saying no to my guy friends or in work related things that I was confident in but get me in a conversation with girls and I was lost. Part of it might not just be purity could be feelings in general that's how I am good at topics that involve action not as good with things involving feelings.
Brian S.
Is it just me, or is anyone else having a hard time reconciling the fact that the MC is in his 20's, has no problems standing up to his [guy] friends, regularly plays a trainer to the adults around him, is comfortable with the idea of being personally responsible for mass murder (of Illyrians), and is constantly involved in intense close-combat situations with both genders, but reverts to an insanely timid child when broaching the topic of even sleeping in the same room as his girlfriend? Bridget: I want to do this. Jon: I want to do this. Vaya: I don't mind. MC: No!!! My PURITY!!!
