Actus
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Return of the Runebound Professor - Chapter 840
🕑 Added 2025-11-11 16:00:20 +0000 UTC“Lava,” Noah muttered to himself. “I am lava.”
The massive expanse of his mindspace stretched out all around him, an audience of runes watching on in rapt attention. They didn’t really have much choice. It wasn’t like they could go anywhere.
Noah tried not to think too much about them. Becoming lava was not a very simple task. He had no idea how those television yoga teachers back on Earth had managed to envision themselves becoming so many different things.
Maybe lava is harder to be than a tree.
He crossed his arms in front of his chest, a deep frown setting itself into his features. It wasn’t like he actually wanted to become lava. But if he didn’t properly understand the magic he was trying to harness, he’d keep creating flawed runes.
Every previous attempt he’d made at a proper lava rune at this scale had failed miserably.
This obviously wasn’t the first time he’d worked with a vaguely similar concept. Like he’d mentioned to Lee, he’d made a Volcano Rune within Natural Disaster, and that was now buried within Unraveling Disruption.
The difference was scale. Noah wasn’t just going for lava or a small volcano anymore. He wanted the power and strength of a titanic eruption. Something at the same scale as an earthquake that could shake the world – at least, conceptually.
And the problem was really coming from the explosion aspect of things. Lava wasn’t actually too hard. It was just rock and heat. Putting everything together in a way where it could represent a cataclysmic volcanic eruption was where the problem arose.
He’d gotten so far as perfect, but never beyond it. And perfect was nowhere near enough. That meant he was fundamentally missing something in either the components he was working with or his intent.
Realistically speaking, it was probably a mixture of the two.
But it wasn’t like there were any active volcanos around to examine. The easiest solution this problem likely would have been flinging himself into one so he could really get a feel of what erupting lava was like.
That might have even been worth breaking his no-death streak over.
Getting killed by a volcano was pretty badass.
Unfortunately, he didn’t have a convenient volcano on hand.
Thus, he’d found himself sitting on the dark floor of his kintsugi soul, trying to envision himself as a happy stream of lava.
It was not working.
“Damn it,” Noah said through a sigh. He let his eyes drift open and he flopped back to the ground, staring up into the darkness. “This really isn’t leading anywhere at all. What the hell is it that I’m missing? Lava is just fire and rock, isn’t it?”
That was evidently not the case. Or, if it was, his actual intent when creating the rune didn’t align with the components he was putting together.
Let’s see. The… kaboom is the part I’m missing. The eruption aspect. But isn’t that just lava coming up from underground? So it’s just lava, no?
Noah’s lips pursed.
Of course it wasn’t just lava. Things in nature didn’t happen for no reason. Unfortunately, he was not a geologist. Noah didn’t have a damn idea why a volcano would ever erupt. He just knew that they occasionally did it.
And that was almost certainly the problem. He was visualizing more than just a pyroclastic flow. He wanted the whole shebang. And, unfortunately, he knew just enough to realize that there was some aspect he was missing to how an eruption happened.
“It’s ironic,” Noah grumbled to himself. “So much of magic is based on intent. If I was actually stupid enough to believe that a volcano would just occasionally erupt because it wanted to, there’s a legitimate chance I’d have been able to make a rune that actually did what I wanted it to by now. But the dissonance in my intent is probably screwing everything up.”
He pushed himself upright. Then he glared at some of the new runes in his soul. They weren’t helping. It was quite rude, really. The purpose of an audience was to provide some degree of feedback to the entertainer.
Nobody wanted to dance for a crowd of straight-faced assholes.
“Say something, would you?” Noah asked. “I could use someone to bounce some ideas off, you know. Where’s my desk plant? My rubber ducky? Be useful, damn you!”
“Good god.” Noah’s voice came from behind Noah. “What’s gotten into us?”
Noah rolled his head back over his shoulders, earning himself an upside-down view of himself.
“Ah,” Noah said. “Noah-2. It’s been a while. I thought you were gone.”
“That’s never happening,” Noah-2 said with a sigh. “I’m you. And so is… well, you know.”
Both of them grimaced.
They knew.
“Well?” Noah asked. “You gonna help? I am trying to become lava.”
“I think you’ve spent too much time with Lee,” Noah-2 said. He walked around Noah to stand before him, then held a hand out. “Come on.”
Noah took his own hand, letting him pull himself up. The two Noahs stared at each other for a moment.
“So?” Noah asked. “Do you have a better idea? And do you happen to know what makes volcanos erupt?”
“We both know I don’t,” Noah-2 grumbled. “If I did, you would too. Maybe they just fill up with a bunch of lava until it squeezes out of the ground?”
“If that was the case, wouldn’t volcanic eruptions look more like someone stepping on a tube of toothpaste?” Noah asked. He scratched the back of his neck. “That doesn’t seem quite right.”
“Oh. Yeah,” Noah-2 agreed. “So it’s probably not just that. I guess there’s more to it.”
“Wow,” Noah said. “Insightful. Genius, really.”
“Oh, I don’t see you doing any better,” Noah-2 snapped. “What do you think they are, then? A bunch of wind getting blown up a volcano’s ass?”
Noah paused. “No. That wouldn’t have enough pressure to force molten rock out, right?”
“I wasn’t being serious.”
“Hold on,” Noah said. “That might actually be in the right direction, right? Volcanic eruptions can sometimes blow the top off a volcano, can’t they? I think I vaguely recall something about that when I was watching the television and procrastinating grading coursework. That’s got to be pressure.”
“Not wind pressure,” Noah-2 said. “It’s not strong enough.”
“And it’s not getting squeezed out by physical pressure either. Gas, then?” Noah asked. He pinched his brow as he tried to drag up what few memories he actually had of how volcanos worked. “Yeah. Doesn’t gas make sense? There’s gas and shit in the earth. Like sulfur.”
“We only remember that because it smells bad.”
“Yeah, but I’m not wrong, right? It’s gas pressure. Like a can of soda.” Noah’s voice grew excited as he continued. “That’s why the cans go boom when you shake them.”
“Volcanos are like cans of soda,” Noah-2 repeated. “Wow. You could have had a good career as a genius scientist back on Earth. You may have missed your calling.”
“Don’t be a sarcastic ass,” Noah said. He started to pace back and forth. “Am I wrong? Lava bubbles! I remember that! What if the bubbles are coming from gas escaping? If that was happening beneath the ground when a volcano was still sealed, it would fill it up with gas. That could then blow the top of the volcano off and send everything spewing out.”
“That does make sense,” Noah-2 allowed, nodding thoughtfully. “But what’s the gas? Are we going to have to make a sulfur rune?”
“No damn idea,” Noah admitted. “Maybe water vapor? I know there’s water underground. Hot water turns to gas. I’m sure there’s more to it, but that’s about as far as my understanding goes. Gas and water vapor.”
“Water vapor is gas,” Noah-2 said.
“Don’t be a prick. I know that. I just said that.”
“Then that stands to reason we might want to use some extra earth or vibration. If volcanoes are soda cans, then squeezing them would probably cause them to erupt as well. Tectonic shift or the like, yeah?”
“You’re right.” Noah stopped pacing. “I should add those in as well. A lot of that could come in intent, but it’s worth keeping in mind. So this is the core piece I was missing. A vapor rune, or a gas rune, or something.”
“A fart rune. Your volcano is missing a fart rune.”
Noah sighed. “Oh, come on. Are you a child?”
“I’m you,” Noah-2 replied. He snickered. “Who do you think you’re fooling? Every thought I have is coming from the same place that yours are coming from. I’m just not trying to hide it.”
“We’re not going to speak about this anymore,” Noah decided. Arguing with oneself was generally a pretty poor idea. There was no way to win. “I think we’ve got our answer. I need to get my hands on a rune that can fill in that gas pressure that I’m missing. Once I’ve got that, the rock and fire runes should be enough to make the volcanic eruption I’m imagining.”
“Great,” Noah-2 said. The two of them fell silent for a moment. Then they glanced around Noah’s mindspace. “So… where’s your vapor rune?”
Noah sighed. “I don’t have one. We’re going to have to get it.”
“Damn,” Noah-2 said. “Well, good luck with that.”
And then Noah-2 was gone. Noah was alone within his soul once more.
Then again, he always had been.
Noah pulled himself free of his mindspace. His eyes opened back in Obsidia, a grin already spreading across his lips as he rose to his feet.
Lee laid on the ground several feet away from him, her hands over her stomach and legs splayed out. Judging from the scene of carnage spread out around what remained of the snake monster, she’d been enjoying her dinner.
Her head rolled over to glance lazily in Noah’s direction as he rose.
“Oh,” Lee said. “You’re back. I was eating. Did you make your rune?”
“No,” Noah shook his head. His thoughts were still on his conversation with Noah-2, and not every scrap of his mind had managed to return from its trip to his mindspace quite yet. “But I think I figured out what I need. We’re going to have to hunt for a monster. Can you help?”
“Sure,” Lee said. “What kind of rune do you need?”
“A fart rune,” Noah replied with a wide grin. His smile faltered. His distraction faded away as he finally pulled himself fully into the moment.
Wait. Did I just say—
Lee squinted at him.
“What?”
“I — oh, shit. Damn. A vapor rune,” Noah said through a groan. He was going to throttle Noah-2 the next time he saw himself. “I need a vapor rune.”
“Oh,” Lee said with a snicker. “That’s easier. Some water based monsters, then? They should have the components to make something like that. I really didn’t want to go sniffing for the first one. That shouldn’t be hard at all. You want to get it now?”
“If you can move after stuffing yourself so much? Sure.”
“I can always move when more snacks are on the line,” Lee replied. She rolled to her feet and brushed herself off. Then she grinned. “Let’s go get you your fart rune.”
Goddamn it. She’s not going to let me live that one down, is she?
Comments
StarOfTime
This is correct! However Noah doesn't know that and Steam eruptions do also happen! Not neccesarily in volcanos, but that isn't going to stop Noah!
Tyler Engelke
Magma chambers are basically geological zits that get popped by seismic activity compressing them to the point of eruption. The gas is pretty much irrelevant - it's the absurd volume of heavy molten rock rushing in the same direction with the viscosity of water that is the issue. If the magma chamber isn't at capacity, the volcano ain't gonna go boom. Saying tectonic shifts are the cause is wrong. Volcanos are far more likely to form around tectonic plate edges, but it's by no means a guarantee.
Ben Bass
TYFTC! I love the kintsugi mention of his soul, with the white of the Beyond and the golden of the Line, I think that works quite nicely. I am glad to see that Noah doesn't have all of the answers instantly, and was able to talk his way through what he needed. Now just to go find his vapor rune to add in the pressure!
Tom C
lol, kintsugi is the coolest. Beauty in imperfections 💪👍
Brandon O'Bryant
More or less. When your dealing with literal tectonic forces the grinding motion as they shift creates pressure, pressure causes heat, the heat will eventually reach a point to turn various elements to gas which then expands. So your combing heat and pressure until gas expands while the plates try to compress it- and the gas takes the path of least resistance to escape- viola you have a volcano.
Jeff
"kintsugi" ... Bless You? Hits up google - holy crap, people actualy make pottery literally inspired by Noah's soul? Awesome!
Actus
Mmm you’re right I need to make it a bit clearer. I’ll tweak some stuff.
CipherFTW
I want a fart rune now.
why doineedto
💨
Tiger
thank you for the fart rune... i mean chapter
Tommy
This is weird. I’d have said tectonic plate movement is the main cause for eruptions. And I have zero geology knowledge this is just basic school learning stuff from when I was a kid. It’s weird that Noah doesn’t think of this. Or maybe he wants something markedly different from his earthquake ideas? Idk. TFTC!
Nicole Hicks
Compared to pyroclastic flow, lava is slow but there are two different types of lava that can come from volcanic eruptions. There is the slow type that everyone always associates with volcanoes like the ones in Hawaii and then there is the fast type. It's much faster than the slow type, obviously, but slower than a flood of water flowing down hill. The slow type is thicker because it is slightly cooler and made up of melted material melted from the faster version after it erups out of the volcano, I think, and has less gas mixed in it. The faster type has gas mixed in which makes it less dense and is much hotter with more pressure pushing its faster flow speed, I think. Again, I could very well be wrong about some or all of this information so don't take what I've said as fact. Look it up for yourselves.
Nicole Hicks
Vapor rune would be a mix of air, water and possibly pressure, right? Or just air and water? Actually, water vapor is, in reality, made up of water and dust particulates. The water molecules condense around the dust particulates in the air as a way to hold the water molecules to each other together as they float in the air. That's essentially how clouds are formed, I think. I mean, I could be wrong, but I don't think I am.
Philipp Battenberg
They're looking for Water-type creatures for vapor/gas. Swamp? Swamp gas fart rune
TimeDrawsNigh
No, no she is not Noah.
Zachary LaCount
I’m loving these interactions but I’m hoping there’s more progression soon
Lee
I will NEVER let him live that down. lol. Real life now: Do anyone realize there’s a chance Noah 2 could have possibly influenced Noah speak? Luckily everyone is on the same page. Either way, that’s something we should watch out for? I know we are getting closer to the reunion. But it’s so stressful. I need to know if there’s actual demon babies occurring???!!!!
Dungeonborn
A fart cannon
carebear90
So... he's working on a higher tier Volcano rune? Didn't he already have one in his Natural Disaster Rune? Is he planning on making a Tier 6 Natural Disaster? Or does he simply try to specialise his Runes more?
Corey Paulson
Didn't he have a volcano rune in his natural disater rune?
Philipp Battenberg
A Rune of Biological Aeromancy
StSteve
Noah shouldn't dismiss pyroclastic flow as being less than he wants - I'd honestly think it fits the natural disaster theme better than the lava eruption like he's working towards. A cloud of superheated ash, lava, and pumice traveling at 100+ mph would probably be a better overall weapon than pressurized lava, which cools quickly and flows pretty slowly. Pyroclastic flow is arguably more deadly and destructive than the eruption itself.
Ormus Von Orbulon
Privately, Lee is like, "Damn, I missed you, Noah...you and your wierd shit"🤭
realitiesincrease
I cannot. A Fart rune. Also, nice imagery, the kintsugi ref! Although not sure Noah should have that knowledge, it works well 😁😁😁
MysticallMist
Now according to a great fella I used to know called Chekhov, we're going to have to see some fart runes going down the line now.
Andrew Denton
Ah, self-sabotage. My old companion.
