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[Cheat] Chapter 112: Advertising
🕑 Added 2025-06-24 03:39:34 +0000 UTC“Wangsheng Funeral Parlor?” Amber looked puzzled.
“Wangsheng is a very famous business organization in Liyue. You’ll know when you visit. I’ll even give you a 20% discount next time you come,” Hu Tao said.
“Uh… nice to meet you…”
“The Traveler here—he’s a real good guy. In the dead of night, out in the wilderness, with the moon high and the wind howling, not a soul around, he saw me, just a poor girl all alone in the forest, and then…”
“…!?”
“…he helped the poor lost me find my way out.”
“Oh… so that’s what happened.”
“Then, a group of Hilichurls jumped out of the woods, trying to do unspeakable things to me!”
“!?”
“So I turned the tables and wiped them out.”
“…Oh.”
“Then, another sinister figure emerged from the forest, trying again to do unspeakable things to me!”
“!?”
“And then the Traveler obliterated the Abyss Mage in one shot and saved me once again.”
Amber’s expression turned a bit awkward. “Um… can you not tell your story like a horror show? You’re scaring me to death here.”
“Heehee.”
Zephyr cut in, “Alright, alright, it’s late. Can we go to sleep now? We’re heading back. You should find a hotel.”
Amber said, “Zephyr, don’t be so rude. She’s still a guest of Mondstadt.”
Zephyr asked, “Do you even know what Wangsheng does?”
“What do they do?”
“They’re a full-service funeral provider.”
“Huh?!”
“And she’s not just an employee—she’s the Director. The head of the entire parlor.”
Amber now looked at Hu Tao a little nervously. “Um… doesn’t it scare you, doing this kind of work as a girl?”
“Life and death are two sides of the same eternal cycle. Life leads to death, and death brings forth new life. Why should we fear or avoid the topic of death?”
Paimon rubbed her head. “Why does that sound… super deep?”
Zephyr said, “We’re leaving.”
“Wait, give me money for the hotel.”
“You don’t have money?”
Zephyr looked confused. “Aren’t you the 77th Director of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor? You don’t even have that much on you?”
“I do have money… but it’s all in Liyue.”
“So you traveled this far without even a single Mora?”
Hu Tao replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, “Of course. I’m out here to do business. Business is about making money. If I spend money, that means I’ve already lost.”
“Wow, so you’re trying to run a business with zero starting capital?”
Hu Tao looked meaningfully at Zephyr.
“…Why are you looking at me? Are you trying to profit off me for free?”
“Exactly. That just proves my business acumen.”
“……”
Hu Tao crossed her arms. “Not gonna lie—my dream is to surpass Ningguang and become the richest businesswoman in all of Teyvat.
To do that, I’m going to take Wangsheng’s operations beyond all previous Directors. We’ll expand to every nation in Teyvat… maybe even other worlds.”
Amber glanced at Zephyr, a little worried. “Zephyr, your friend… is she, uh…”
“Don’t worry about her. She’s just in the early stages of chuunibyou.”
“Chuunibyou? Like Fischl?”
“Fischl has advanced chuunibyou. Hu Tao’s still at the beginner level—she can be saved.”
Amber nodded seriously and looked at Hu Tao with pity. “Miss Hu Tao, please don’t give up on treatment. There’s still hope for you!”
“……”
Hu Tao puffed up her cheeks and bit him on the arm.
“Hey! Civilized people talk things out—they don’t bite!”
“I’m a lady!”
Smugly, Hu Tao declared, “Alright, from this moment on, you’re officially my exclusive client. I’ll list you as the number one under ‘Hu’ in my records. For the rest of your life—and every life after—I’ll be providing services to you, as long as you’re still breathing.”
…Meow?
Then, with flair, Hu Tao turned and walked away.
> “When young, one knows not the taste of sorrow, but climbs high towers,
> Climbing high towers, forcing words of grief for new poems.
> Now that sorrow is known all too well, words fall silent,
> Words fall silent, and all one can say is—what a chilly autumn.”
Paimon tilted her head. “What does that poem even mean?”
“Nothing special,” Zephyr said. “She probably just feels cold and wants us to bring her a new outfit tomorrow.”
…
Zephyr gave Amber a brief summary of what had happened the day before and added her to the party.
This triggered the Pyro resonance: +25% Attack Power.
Zephyr felt great about it—though there was one issue. His current team was a bit too one-dimensional. If they ran into another Abyss Mage, they might be in trouble.
“What I really need right now is a Hydro character. Preferably a healer.”
The answer was practically screaming to come out.
Meanwhile, Ganyu was taking a bath. (T/N: Huh?)
The next day.
Amber had gone off to work early, busy as always.
Zephyr sighed. “Being a responsible and dedicated knight sure isn’t easy.”
“You’ve got some nerve saying that. At least half of Amber’s work is caused by you.”
“Relax. Soon, the other half will be thanks to Hu Tao.”
“…And that’s supposed to be something to be proud of?”
“I’m Encyclopedia of 100,000 Whys, and I’m ready to answer the next question.”
> Question: What is a solar eclipse?
“Ugh, not this kind of question again.” Zephyr opened up Google.
But he was just a second too slow.
Time’s up. Answer:
A solar eclipse, also called a sun eclipse, occurs when the Moon moves between the Earth and the Sun, aligning all three in a straight line. The Moon blocks sunlight from reaching the Earth, casting a shadow on Earth’s surface—this is a solar eclipse. In folklore, it’s often referred to as the celestial dog devouring the sun. A solar eclipse can only occur during the new moon phase. There are different types: partial, total, annular, and hybrid. Never look directly at a solar eclipse without protection, as it can cause temporary or even permanent blindness.
“Ugh—so close! I was this close! If it wasn’t for the stupid lag, I would’ve had it!” Zephyr was speechless with frustration.
But since today’s question was about a solar eclipse, there was a chance tomorrow’s might be about a lunar eclipse. So he looked it up and memorized the answer, just in case.
Knock knock...
“Who is it?”
“It’s me—the cute and charming villain of the story.”
Zephyr opened the door.
“Good morning! Have you eaten yet?”
“You’ve got quite the accent. Anyone can tell where you're from as soon as you open your mouth.”
“Ha! Everyone says that.”
“How did you even find where I live?”
Hu Tao replied, “Easy. I just asked around. They say that the super popular Knight Amber has taken in the famous Traveler. Everyone in Mondstadt knows!”
“……”
“Pfft—” Paimon covered her mouth, giggling.
Hu Tao plopped down casually. “From what I’ve heard, your reputation in Mondstadt isn’t all that great.”
“Lies! Baseless slander, I tell you!”
“No worries. Explaining is hiding, and hiding is the truth. But this Hall Master doesn’t mind. I’ll be living here from now on.”
“You wish. Dream on.”
“Peaches? The peaches from my hometown are delicious. I’ll treat you next time.”
Zephyr rolled his eyes. “What do you want?”
Hu Tao said, “Well, I’m looking for a good place to open a shop. Can you recommend anywhere?”
“A shop, huh… I’m not too sure about that myself.”
“No worries. Let’s walk around Mondstadt today, and I’ll pick a spot.”
“Fine, but I need to go see Wagner first.”
“Wagner?”
“He’s the local blacksmith.”
Paimon added, “The best blacksmith in all of Mondstadt.”
“Perfect! Let’s go together.”
…
“Hello, Wagner.”
“Oh, it’s you two. How’d the mining go yesterday?”
“Not bad. Here—this is the Magic Crystal Ore you wanted.”
Wagner accepted it like it was a treasure. “This is it! Someday, I’ll forge the finest weapon from this.”
Hu Tao said, “So Mondstadt has Magic Crystal Ore too, huh?”
Wagner asked, “You’re not from around here?”
“I’m Hu Tao, 77th Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor in Liyue.”
Paimon muttered, “You really don’t have to bring up your title everywhere you go…”
“You don’t understand. This is marketing. I am the walking commercial for my business.”
“Uh…”
Wagner thought for a moment. “Wangsheng Funeral Parlor… I think I’ve heard of that. Ah! You’re the ones who sell stir-fried noodles, right?”
Hu Tao froze, then snapped, “That’s Wanmin Restaurant! We’re Wangsheng Funeral Parlor!”
“Ahh, my bad. Old age, bad memory.”
Paimon covered her mouth, laughing again.
Hu Tao scowled. “What’s so funny? This is exactly why I need to open a branch here in Mondstadt. Liyue is just too far away—no one here even knows our name!”
//END
