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Chapter 60 - Part 1 of Three Square Meals

🕑 Added 2016-10-26 01:02:55 +0000 UTC

Comments

Cody Strong

Garrett, you messed my script up

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

PLEASE post part 2 ASAP!!!!

Muledrvr

Dang it... *ENTER* is send... I wonder if Edraele will be sending "power" to John to speed his recovery from the darts. The "ninja" (ID unknown, yet not THE assassin) won't know of John's special abilities.

Muledrvr

Wow.................... Way to leave us hanging........

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

Tefler: I have suspected it before now....but you have just confirmed it.....You Sir! Are a SADIST! LOL

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

Just read the first half of 60.....HOLY FREAKIN COW!!!!!!

Tefler

Re: Brooks Moses. That's a good suggesion, I'll make a tweak there to correct that.

Tefler

It was fun to read your feedback, thanks for taking the time to comment everyone! Yeah that was a really horrible cliffhanger to leave it on, and now you get to see what my editors have to put up with! Remember in chapter 53 where Projenitor John drove off in the car and abandoned all the crew? Yep that was the end of part 2 for that chapter... ;-)

Brooks Moses

FWIW, since there's still time to make tweaks, one thing that occurs to me to mention (now that I've gotten over that cliffhanger!) is that it seemed wrong for Faye to be using the GUI for the guns. She's already inside the computers, I'd expect her to be using some communication a bit more direct (and invisible, in the sense that she's not thinking about how she's telling the guns to fire).

With the whole crew down I've been wondering how they are going to get out of this . Then I remembered that John was shot with 2 darts in his chest. I'm betting that the assassin just knocked him out with drugs and he is going to recover far sooner than the assassin expects and take her into custody. Then he will save the rest of the crew Dave

Patrick

I applaud you for how your writing continues to improve too. There are several things I've mentioned on lit like: 1) making characters have more personality. Irilith, her mother, and especially Faye have been awesome. The part with Faye being helpless actually really got me. 2) Transitioning around more instead of always being in real time. We are now awake, let's go do our day on the ship, meet back later has seemed much cleaner than following every step they walk so to speak. 3) Crew actually has some tragedy happen after meeting instead of having things happen in the past and then there is smooth sailing once joining the crew. Now that it has happened though... I'm really cheering for the whole crew to make this out alive. Awesome stuff man.

Patrick

Wow these chapters are getting better and better. I love how you made a crew of badasses getting screwed by a single assassin seem believable.

I love the cliffhanger :) I laughed when I saw I was at the end and I felt how anxious I was to know what would happen next. Great job :) I personally feel the cliffhangers add a lot to the story and my enjoyment of the next part, no matter how I currently feel about wanting to know what happens. A little like sex, a long tease adds a lot of enjoyment. :) I feel you have become a much better writer during the course of this story, and it seems like lately every chapter is a pronounced improvement over previous installments. I'm glad I can support you in your writing.

Alvin Hogwash

A good cry and try hard not to think of the fate of our favorite nymph.

Alvin Hogwash

You warned me, but I didn't listen. Now I'm gonna go have

Cody Strong

Perhaps Faye can hack the girl when she links to her ship and save the day.

Felipe Andrade

This cliffhanger was just evil hahaha

Nekronom

And here we have, finally, Sensei's daughter. Enslaved and brutally maimed by the freak on the throne. Yet to be freed, restored, and at last added to the team. An assassin is still missing in the crew. 2nd guess is the reuse of the cyborg body for Faye but I don't think that this will work out. If there had been casualties by the bomb (I hope not, I love them all), most dispensable is Rachel. It will even follow movie tradition because she told us her dream to save mankind from disease. The ones with the great dreams die first in movies...

Dave2282

Great cliffhanger. I understand it probably would not be bad to kill off a character but hope Jade survives. I would suggest that instead of publishing this as 60 part 1 you upload it to literotica as chapter 60 and part 2 as 61.

Dude! Your killing us here. That's not a cliffhanger that's a nail biter!

Tefler

I'm working away furiously on part 2, so hopefully that'll be ready in a couple of days!

JCFenton

Sheesh! You weren't joking about that cliff!

Morris Crawford

damn that was a cliff anger from hell there

I can agree with Dave, he knows it keeps everyone on their toes coming back for more! Great sneak peek though! Cheers Tefler

Tefler it is only 0415 there in the UK right now as I finish reading part 1 of chapter 60. You had better be up working on part 2 like a mad man because you know how I hate cliffhangers. :) Dave