Torsten Hewson
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v2c68 Update
🕑 Added 2021-10-06 17:10:10 +0000 UTCAn update to the ending part of chapter 68, after taking in some of the constructive ideas! hopefully this makes things more clear, and fixes some of the mistakes I made. the actual chapter will be updated as well, but the first part is the same, so If people don't feel like rereading that, here is this update!
The actual chapter will of course come later today.
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The Trading Company eventually got back to me. I was actually a little nervous, walking into what was essentially a board meeting. A bunch of steely-eyed merchants wanting what I had put me a little on edge.
Honestly? I hadn’t been taking this as seriously as I should have been, in retrospect. I was still just operating on “good rice” equals expensive, and having the Azure hills equivalent of a Fortune 500 company shit itself then call an emergency meeting was a bit beyond what I was expecting.
So I steeled myself, and walked into the lion’s den.
It was like something out of a period drama, we were seated across from each other on cushions. There were several older gentlemen, all seated when I arrived, who rose and greeted me as I entered. They were a bit stereotypical looking, long hair tied into a topknot with few mustaches on some of the otherwise bare faces. There was also a younger woman, who looked about Bo’s age, maybe in her early twenties, seated to the right of the old man at the front and center.
She was eye-catching, and had a bit of a resemblance to Bo. Her lips were painted red, and her face was pale. Her green eyes were framed in rose eyeshadow, and her unusual red hair was done up in an elaborate braid.
Guan Bo was off to the side. Nearly at the end of the line of people. Further in the corner, the only man with a table sat with a pad of paper and a brush, ready to take notes.
As one the men and woman of the Azure Jade Trading Company bowed, the lowest I had ever seen somebody go beside Xiulan after we saved her life.
“We, The Azure Jade Trading Company, greet Master Jin,” they intoned.
Was I supposed to bow here too?
“Master Jin, thank you for your time. We hope that we have not unduly infringed upon it.” The old man said, his head still lowered.
I shrugged. “It hasn’t been too long.”
The men and singular woman raised their heads in perfect sync. “We thank you for your consideration. This one is Guan Xi, Head of operations while my honoured Grandfather, and Master of the Azure Jade Trading Company is indisposed at the Dueling Peaks. He begs your forgiveness for not being present.”
“There is nothing to forgive,” I said simply.
Xi’s eyes brightened just slightly, a smile coming across his features. The man in the corner, I noticed, was writing down everything we said. A scribe, for a business meeting, I guess.
“I have requested your attention to clarify a few matters. While our Guan Bo is a fine member of our company, the value of the goods you propose to exchange requires the oversight of one of a higher rank in the company. One with more experience, and of a higher position. Our Master, Guan Yang, offers to conduct business himself, when he returns. In the meantime, if it pleases you, we would assign one better suited to accommodating you. ”
All of their heads bowed again. Including Guan Bo, who had a resigned look on his face.
I considered it. Business was all about relationships, really. Now, I wasn’t much of a calculating man, but it is better to do business with somebody who owes you a favor.
“Guan Bo has been great. I’m fine if our relationship continues as it is,” I said. The old man was the picture of serene grace, but Bo’s head snapped up, his eyes wide with shock and gratitude.
If he wasn’t my friend before, he certainly was now.
“As you desire, Master Jin.” The old man said, stroking his beard. “I am sure you see the value in our Guan Bo. And should you desire anything else, our Guan Chyou will be our point of contact, if it pleases you. She will be available at all times to meet your needs.”
The woman offered me a warm, pretty smile, and a deep bow.
I nodded absently. Kinda like a secretary, or Bo’s assistant?
“Then, Master Jin, we will proceed with negotiations.” The members of the trading company versus a street rat and a farm boy.
I swallowed, as I faced the united front.
In the end, I’d like to think I’d given a good battle. I certainly gave it my best shot. We settled on the price of fifty silver coins per bag. Nearly ten times the amount of a bag of even Silver Grade rice. The price alone was a good one: if I sold my entire harvest I would have more money than to know what to do with. Hell, even just these bags were more than enough to basically retire with.
I guess Meimei would be getting a bit of a bigger library than she bargained for.
But, as always, sometimes the more valuable thing isn’t the main, direct price of goods you get.
It’s the perks.
Preferred shipping of goods. Inroads to suppliers. Information. The Lord Magistrate was a god damn wizard, getting me tomatoes, but he was, at the end of the day, in a remote location.
Hell, I didn’t even have to pay for any inns I stayed at anymore. Like… ever. The Trading company would be footing the bill.
To use another modern analogy, I was getting wined and dined, then taken golfing. Something novel to both parts of my past. It was a little bit nice, getting my ass kissed, I’ll admit. An effective business tactic, to make somebody feel more important than they were.
We both got a set of the contracts, written by the scribe. Nothing seemed out of order, so we concluded our business for the day, and I got taken to a fancy restaurant for a feast.
And I may have had a bit much to drink, considering Chyou kept filling my glass, and the men of the company started toasting to my health, and good business.
“To your health, Master Jin!” one of the men called, and I obligingly drained the drink, nodding to the man. As I set down the cup, Chyou attentively refilled it. I nodded my thanks, and she bowed her head, as I took another bite of the food. This place was pretty good, and everything had gone bright, and pleasantly bubbly. Bo was already sheets to the wind, and passed the hell out.
I leaned back with contentment, as I popped another dumpling in my mouth. Maybe I had drunk a bit much, but after describing my interest in alcohol, the company had brought a lot of drinks out for me. Including one special one that they said was like a thousand years old or something, but the memory of it was a tiny bit fuzzy. It was real good though.
I noticed a shadow, watching me from the roof, and nodded to Big D. The Rooster bowed his head, and left.
Which reminded me that I should probably get to bed soon.
I waved to the bigshot guy, who nodded his head. “We have rooms available, should it please you.” he said, still remarkably sober.
I mulled it over for a second, before nodding. I’d go and get the rest of the guys in the morning.
“This way, Master Jin,” Chyou said, and I got up to follow her. We walked in silence for most of the way, Chyou beside me. She had been pretty quiet, aside from occasionally giggling at something I said.
“So, you’re going to be my guide in the morning too?” I asked Chyou.
The woman nodded, as we reached the building, and Chyou got out a set of keys, unlocking the door, and revealing a well furnished room.
“Of course, Master Jin, I am here to see to your every need.” There was an inflection in her voice that was slightly flirty. I wasn’t sure I liked it. I also… kinda felt a bit bad for the girl. Assigned as a secretary, and told to flirt with the bigshot customer probably sucked.
I nodded, swaying a bit, and leaned closer to her. She smiled prettily, leaning in slightly.
“How familiar are you with medical scrolls?” I asked.
The woman paused; seemingly surprised at the question.
“Not too familiar, but I know many who are, Master Jin.” She said tentatively.
“‘S good! Could you get a list for me, of what most of them think are the essentials?” I asked. There, something I needed, where she wouldn’t have to interact with me for a while.
She seemed a little confused, her eyes narrowing slightly. Curiosity, and something cunning lurked in those eyes, before her smile returned in full force.
“Of course, Master Jin. I shall have it prepared for you,” she agreed. “Do you need me for anything else tonight?”
“Nah. G’night. Thanks for the room, yeah?” I waved her off.
I slid into the bed as the door closed. I’d have a lot to do tomorrow, getting the rest of the stuff I needed, and having Noodle help me with the glass stuff. But at least I wouldn’t have to go searching around for suppliers, with an army of merchants eager to get me discounts and direct me where to go.
Comments
Calico C
I can see him caring more about money now after finding and paying for supplies to build his house. He made a couple of comments for how expensive glass was and a few other things. He’s also always thinking of how to better expand the property, so more money is good. Also libraries are super expensive to fill, even today. Back then, it would take an enormous amount of wealth considering it’s all hand written. I can see him considering this day a business day, and the drinking to be to retain a good relationship with the company. I know in eastern cultures like Japan and Korea, it would have been considered EXTREMELY rude to turn down drinking after a business deal.
C. Wilbs
I’m not sure what your goal was, but here’s what I gained from this new version. 1. it’s much more obvious how serious the Trading Company is taking Jin’s products 2. Jin cares more about money than the story has previously led me to believe 3. Jin would rather spend this evening drinking with business partners than go see his friends (which seems to contradict much of what he has been about thus far) TBH, the feeling and tempo of this chapter is so different from the rest of the story it doesn’t seem like the same story. I suppose it does fill in some info gaps, but those gaps didn't seem to involve anything that was necessary for the story to progress or improve.
C. Wilbs
Agreed! At no other part of the story has Jin even remotely entertained this kind of pandering/posturing.
Artur Vogt
Im happy with the change
alex ayala
i also think this is better because this feels more in line with Jin's character, the last version felt distinctly ooc the way he was immediately conscious of the AJTCs plot with the corporate waifu
Kara Nina
Yep, far, far more interesting and also a lot more realistic. Especially since you managed to build in that 'every need' clichee in a much more suitable plotline than the hamfisted, overdone comment at the meeting that would just be offputting to 80% of people. Exceptions being long time deprived sailors and such who haven't seen a woman that wasn't taken in months.
David Bean
Wow, that really did come out way better. Good call.
Vin Reisling
Nah I get that the company would do this, more I'm unsure if it's in Jin's character to accept such a tense non casual situation. Particularly as he's already been tense the whole trip. Whereas before when just Bo invited him out, that feels like something he'd accept. Jin seems to prefer a small circle, at least without other people he knows there.
Klatue
This really completes the chapter and fills in a lot of the info that was previously left to the imagination
Len
think about it, a place that NEVER(in recent memory) has produced Silver grade rice, now has a cultivator farming and producing GOLD grade rice,,, and Maple Syrup (which NO ONE has) the company shit bricks due to him showing up with 300 bags of rice and the syrup, the COO of the company flat out said, we WILL be his primary trade partner, do WHATEVER is needed to ensure this- even assigning her Granddaughter to to do ANYTHING he wants. The wine and dine aspect is to be expected. THEY are paying 50 silver a bag, they will get PAID ~75 or more silver a bag when they sell the Rice.
Linus
Mostly a good change I think. The company seems a lot more professional this time round. I like that there's seemingly more of a negotiation this time, rather than him just quickly agreeing with the first price offered like the last version. I also like that Chyou's scene changed venue as her offer is a lot more suitable in private by the bedroom, rather than in the middle of a business negotiation in front of her family and colleagues. The denial, however, I think feels a more vague this time. As if he was just delaying the offer and not dismissing it outright, even though we know that's definitly what he intended.
Bobby B.
Fantastic addition to the chapter, changes the flavor a bit, which is a GOOD thing! Keeps more stuff on the table, as I were
Dontspam Meho
I imagined the scene in my head and wondered why it felt so familiar. Batman! So that was it, haha.
Bobby B.
The thing about the wine and dine is, it goes both ways. It's a way to make vague acquaintances into, if not friends, then partners. The unsaid opposite is if it fails then old boy looks for a different partner, of the company stops looking to work together and starts looking to "take the silverware" on the way out
H.H.
Edit: Azure (H)ill in 2nd paragraph
Bobby B.
You say that like he's Not batman.
Mrdelta
This chapter makes big d look like batman.
Vin Reisling
I don't like that we keep the weird relationship with Chiyou this way. I think it was much better when he slapped that down in the crib, made him appear completely not down with the honeypot. But it makes sense to have added formality and an actual negotiation. Not too certain about the drinking scene either. Jin was pretty uncomfortable with this whole thing and Bo was the only one he knew. Would he really stay for drinks and not just politely refuse so he can get on with his life? But I suppose this is the issue with edits, people are gonna complain either way! Sorry for the backseating!
JohnJohn2195
He was the office boss people liked to ask out for drinks for a bit and enjoyed it. He just needed some karaoke and baka mitai to fulfill his yakuza dreams.
Harley Shockley
I hope that Bo gets to move closer to Jon so that there doesn’t have to be such a long trek. Maybe a mini-trading post in the nearby village to his farm.
Ask-if-I-like-lemons
I gotta be honest with you man, this feels like a different story. The change of style from previous chapters is jarring. I actually don't like it.
Casualfarmer
Hes a bit drunk because he wants to be. He just got to drink a lot, and he is enjoying being treated like a bigshot. the alcohol is mostly an excuse. He is just pleasantly buzzed. If he was drunk, Meimei's whore and donkey song would come out. instead, hes mostly just basking in the glow, and indulging in a fantasy of being a bigshot, before going to bed.
STORRM
idk kinda liked it more the other way. tho this feels more fleshed out, i kinda liked how he just offhandedly turned her down and ruined their plan and then asked her to get the scrolls to not screw her over. also if hes so shit faced hes swaying as a cultivator the sentence structure should probably be way more broken “How fa-miliar are...... you with medical scrollssss????”
PublicLee Speaking
The 'thousand year old' alcohol is likely what did it. the fact that he drank it and is still only somewhat drunk is likely impressive.
ChanceOfFoxin
I feel the same way!
Jam
I'm impressed that you're willing to make these changes after others gave you advice. It is a sign of a good author.
Aaron
Honestly didn't think it was bad before, but read it this way, I like this way a lot more. Great job!
Civer
they slipped him some of the cultivator brews IE that 1000year stuff.
Daniel
That is quite different from the other one, and a lot better, I think. The trading company comes off looking a *lot* more competent, at least.
Trasen56
Usually in xianxia cultivators can choose whether or not to let alcohol affect them. Since Jin probably wanted it to affect him his qi didn't purify it or something like that.
John Pratt
1000 year old spiritual booze
Produx :}
Definitely feels a lot better. Good update.
Hamed Al-Ghamdi
How is he drunk ? I dont think they have anything that would make a cultivator of his calibre this drunk that somethings start to get fuzzy. Buzzed I can swallow but this drunk ...
Lochar
10,000 times better than previous.
Dion
I like the changes, makes more sense from Jin’s perspective
Arnon Parenti
Poor Bo, he is too lucky by far, the nail that sticks out gets hanmered first.
Andrew
Thank you!
Anthony Arredondo
This feels more in line with Jin
