Torsten Hewson
patreon
Vol 2 Aftermath: Casual's thoughts and rambles
🕑 Added 2022-02-21 20:34:31 +0000 UTCVolume 2: The Aftermath.
Well, this one got away from me. That much is true. In addition, I bit off a bit more than I could chew with editing, working on the story, and all that wonderful stuff. It definitely got a bit scuffed at the end, with the multiple delays.
That said, I’ve learned a lot. A lot on publishing, and a lot about writing itself. I’d certainly like to think my writing improved drastically over the course of this book. But it's a bit hard to tell, being so deep within it.
Thanks to the edit squad for their tireless work in helping me make it better too, you guys are awesome for putting up with another “10 pm plz halp” from me. I know that can’t be easy, and I felt kind of bad each time I did it.
Secondly, thanks to everybody for reading. It's certainly been interesting, as the book has continued. How much its expanded is honestly a bit startling, and just how many people enjoy this story still, still stuns me.
So thank you. Thank you all for reading. It means a lot that I’m bringing people that much enjoyment with a story that was originally intended to be basically a smut harem story.
Its funny how that changed. I still get a smirk every time I think about how its changed.
That said, onto more thoughts.
The original plan for this book was to have it be the same breakneck pace as the first, and cover another full year.
However, as I began writing things, that felt unfeasible. Xiulan’s issues… couldn’t be resolved in the one or two chapters I originally had them slated to take. In the original draft, it went fast… and as I was writing, that speed felt like a disservice. Same with other characters and events. I decided to explore the characters a bit more, in the end, rather than push forwards at my original intended pace.
That, and I had quite a free health issues, so the main desire was for a slow, slice of life journey of people figuring each other out, and becoming friends.
Is the first part of the book a bit slow as a result? Perhaps.
Now, on to plot elements. I deviated completely from my first drafted structure. I still hit most plot beats I wanted to hit, but how I hit them changed drastically.
Honestly? Big D’s journey wasn’t supposed to occur at all until after the second viewing of the Solstice festival. Thus, it was supposed to be after the tournament. Book 2 and the tournament arc would have had Big D have gone too far in the other direction. Too cautious instead of too arrogant, and the second book was supposed to be him also overcoming everything that happened with Chow Ji, and finally deciding to set out into the wider world.
However…. I made the decision to put it in there. Mostly for something for Big D to do.. Mostly because I felt like he wasn;’t doing anything at all, and the story is called beware of chicken. Having him a complete side character for a volume felt wrong to me. Looking back on it, I don;t know if that was the correct decision or not, but it was the one that was made. That said, everything that happened on the journey was going by the plot beats I have, so I’d say it at least turned out alright.
Next is the tournament arc, which ho boy. This was not intended to even be half as long as it was. Basically, the original idea was to pull a bait and switch. Absolutely nothing was supposed to happen at the tournament. It was supposed to be maybe 10 chapters, but closer to 8, of Xiulan kicking everybody’s asses and then the tournament ending. Xianghua and Gou Ren was always going to be a thing. I had the scene where she introduces herself planned and mostly written since chapter 30 of Volume 1. Which I’m, still immensely proud of, and her introduction is something that was fun.
Loud Boy and Rags were originally one off jokes.,Despite Loud boy “looking suspiciously like a protagonist” he wasn;t originally supposed to be Tigu’s friend, just some rando who got father than he should have before being defeated.
Thus Xiulan wins and the tournament ends… and Lu Ban does nothing, despite the fact that it was going to be heavily foreshadowed that he was going to try something.
Thus instead, it would transition to the “forced Marriage arc.” Wherein Elder Yi did kind of betray the sect, Tigu captured by SM when they’re leaving after giving time for Gou/Yun/Ri Zu to escape, while Xiulan is basically imprisoned by her own sect. and things go basically as they did in the chapters I decided to go with
However, Xi Kong would have ended up as a bait and switch, where he uses one of the Jade Grass Blades to Oppose the Shrouded Mountain Sect basically alone, and frees Xiulan.
Then the fight happens. Jin, at this point, isn’t actually even involved. Xiulan is the one who managed to defeat Lu Ban, using her single shattered Jade sword with Tianlan’s help.
From there, the VB sect was basically completely destroyed when Xiulan manages to force the retreat of the SM along with Tigu. The survivors, the weakest disciples, Xiulan collects, and flees with to Fa Ram, while her father is killed.
Then there would have been a small intrigue arc, and it would have culminated in Jin using [Break the Rocks] on Zang Li’s father, while Lu Ban is taken out by Bi De for good.
Which would have been the end of the book, likely, and Bi=g D seeing the festival again would have triggered his quest for the formation.
This was changed relatively early, with Big D’s adventure, and then the changes to the tournament arc, as I explored the world a bit more. I personally think that the extended arc is good, but the reason why the book is so long is because it is essentially 2 books.
Now onto other things. Character Bloat is a thing that I’m struggling with, and I need a solid plan to tackle. This is exemplified the most by lots of people thinking Zhang Fei the Torrent Rider, and Zang “Loud Boy” Wei are the same person. So thats something to focus on. There are now lots and lots and lots of characters. Theres 15 on Fa Ram alone. Hong Yaowu adds quite a few, and Verdant Hill adds even more. Then with the tournament, and the places Big D travelled to, Shen Yu and the Cloudy Sword Sect, The Shrouded Mountain Sect—
Well. Its a lot. Even just listing them all would likely take up several pages. So that is something to think about for the future.
I have a lot to think on during the break. The good news, is that theres so much stuff I can do with the current state of the story that I’m excited to get back into it for volume 3 (probably gonna be renamed Vol 4, with vol 2 gonna be split.). The problem is that theres actually too much, instead of too little, so keeping things at a manageable level, with a mix of farming slice of Life and Xianxia shenanigans remains a priority.
So. Once again, thank you all for reading. And hopefully the little side stories I’m gonna post are enjoyable.
Comments
Steven Sather
You may feel you are struggling -but perhaps it is the characters expressing themselves. In any case the end result is very much appreciated by this reader. I look forward to where they lead you in the future.
DayWalker
I did enjoy it. Thanks for the update .
Andrew Fox
Yeesh, I couldn't even imagine Jin becoming a harem protagonist at this point
Bonifacio Mario Peña Jr.
You could commission 4x4 portraits for your characters. Thus Zang Fei(Torrent rider) And Zang Wei (Loud boy) would be visually distinct. And since people are visual creatures, your audience will have to a face in mind whenever you talk about a character.
jj
I love this story man. I have done countless re-reads and it has become my new comfort read. It so difficult to find a story that heartwarming & written with such deep characters. I never thought I could end up loving animal PoVs more than most of the human PoVs. Great work dude!
Ashlazaria
I am, personally, very happy with how it's developing. The changes you're referencing are all improvements in the flow, I think. It was the right time for Big D to head out. He really was languishing. The time you're taking to develop the characters and actually dig in instead of just glossing over is what makes the story so entrancing and engaging. As for character confusion - it happens a lot with characters whose names are so similar. I never confused them; but, I can see how it would be easy to do so given the one character difference in their names. Enjoy your March and hopefully find some time to decompress and relax. We'll be here - rabidly howling at the gates come April.
Calico C
The confusion between Zang Wei and Zhang Fei is because most people pronounce the names exactly the same in their heads except for the W and F. It wasn’t so much as character bloat as human memories go “oh, that name looks super familiar, isn’t it that person?”
almostNEET
Personally, I'm glad you put Bi De's journey in this volume. This was probably my biggest peeve during the volume in that our titular chicken barely got any focus for a lot of the time. And part of that I realize is because the cast grew to become an ensemble. And while I grew to throughly enjoy and be even eager for the next Xiulan and Tigu POVs, I'm glad Bi De - the original Xianxia protag of the series - had something of actual import to do in this volume.
This story was supposed to be a smut harem story? Hory Sheet. Did not expect that kekw
Kara Nina
I disagree: there is no character bloat! The characters that appear are each their own person, true, but more importantly: they don't feel like side characters but rather visitors in the Main Characters' lives. We know that they will go on to have their own adventures, whether we read more about them at the moment or not. They're like those friends you find on vacation and might never see again, but if you do it's a nice surprise. Without them something would be missing! So - just because a character exists doesn't mean he has to show up all the time. Loud Boy could show up in volume 6 asking for advice about a problem he discovered that could be the plot hook for that volume, for example - better him than a new group of randos every volume. You should be thinking Lord of the Rings character cast, not average Xianxia where you get new cutouts every chapter. In Lord of the Rings the characters are set up for the endgame, even if we havent seen most of them for most of the book.
Twi
reject male-focused heterosexual smut harems, embrace polyamorous lesbian gay and bisexual relationships... with smut, but like, cooler smut. Or do this, that's cool too :P
STORRM
TBH i feel like "beware of chicken" should just be the tittle of the first book, and the over all story should have something more encompassing, as the story expands and hes not stuck on the farm alone with a roster i find it hard to think of the story now as what it was before. the world seems so much bigger and i feel like the other arching name should be something to show that idk what tho, other then "casual cultivator"
Sassy
I don't feel character bloat at all. In more generic fantasy it xianxia all the side characters would be obvious side characters or even unnamed, here all of them feel like the heroes of their own stories. The little snip with Meimei's dad and mom fleeing while chased by arrows, the magistrate and his wife's run in with a cultivator, Loud Boy, Rags, Torrent Rider, all these people feel like they could be or were the protagonist of a story. The world feel lived in
Asur
I never felt that the first book had a breakneck pace. The opposite to be honest.
ShadeByTheSea
I like how it ended up a lot better than the original plan honestly. I'm super against kidnap/captured arcs, this one was stort enough that it didn't upset me too much, but anything longer than like 5 chapters is a big turn off for me. My suggestion for character blot is just keep most of them on the backburner to show up when it feels right. Also maybe to side stories that don't necessarily fit with the current happenings with Jin when you feel a character is missing facetime. Those stories could even be published as a collection of short stories later.
Dandark
I think your story turned out for the better by straying from the established xianxia tropes. What personally drew me into it was how wholesome and reasonable your characters could be which was a nice change from the typical trope characters that leave you wondering how a xianxia world has any kind of functioning society. I’m usually done with harem but I actually love how Jin has just picked his wife and settled down with her and has no romantic interest in anybody else, especially given that it was just the cute village girl rather than anyone special or grand. I’d say just keep developing your story however feels right to you even if that results in changing your initial draft or plans because your gut hasn’t steered you wrong yet in my opinion.
Christopher Thomas
I think I’d be okay with a ~little~ harem development lol
Fiery Diamond
Well, I don't know about anybody else, but *I* think your current version is better than the one you outlined in this post as your original for the volume. Though I haven't been posting, and I've only been a Patron since the beginning of the month, I've been avidly reading since the beginning of Volume 2 was posted on Royal Road. I've also been sharing this story with anyone who will listen, especially my family. It's definitely one of my top two favorite web serials (the other being Mother of Learning). I've enjoyed the ride so far, and I'm confident that I'll continue to do so in the future.
Den_Ai_D
Thank you for fantastic work you did this volume(-s?)! Honestly, the way you wrote the resolution was just so so satisfying. The last few chapters where bangers after bangers that left me all wistful and navel-gazy (in a good way, of course XD). I feel that whatever troubles you might have had in these latter parts are just a testament to how good it all eventually became.
Zygardegodslayer
excuse me who are Zang Fei and Zang Wei? I know only that one kid that learned from Bi De and Loud Boy.
Enochi
Interesting to see the original take on this and how it evolved. One thing I would consider is expanding the fight between Xiulan and Lu Ban a bit. This is the first time we see her vs someone actually above her and we don't get but so much of a look.
I agree that Tigu nicknames help a huge amount remembering who is who. Loved the story and it made me subscribe to support your writing. I’m glad for the changes, the slice of life was perfect and the extended tournament arc was super enjoyable to read. I’ll be looking forward to buying the audio book and hard copies.
Sebastian Osterbrink
About the number of characters: it really helped my European brain when Tigu started to give people nicknames. It gave the people more character and made them easier to remember.
Sebastian Osterbrink
In Bi De's chicken coop
Weldt
Honestly I don't mind tons of characters I read Malazan book of the Fallen and I still remember over 20 from that one ten years later! (stupid enter) I like how it's so comfy and like so few cultivator tropes I love the feeling of him being just a nobody trying to hide instead of some MC that kicks everybody's butt. I didn't like Big D story arc that much was funny in some parts but kind of forced in some Love the TIgus adventures and how she's just like a 10 yo Good book all in all keep up the good work and we gotta see senior disciple reaction knowing that Jin sent feces to that big shot!
Demian Buckle
Thank you for your thoughts. I think I prefer how book 2 turned out to what you had originally intended. I very much enjoyed the slower pace and the world and character development, it is a change to most other cultivation novels. Very much looking forward to book 3, enjoy your rest and relaxation, you deserve it.
The Lost Pages
Hahaha, gotta say you've done well for not going down the smut harem story route. As a die hard fan of Beware of Chicken, I salute you.
The Lost Pages
BTDEM?
Mislandor
I can tell the story did get kinda away from you starting around the tournament - that being said - I really liked how it came out. The way there was the fight at the end, the cleaning up - it may have run away with you - but I see it more as it Eloped with you :)
Lynne B.
I think what you ended up doing turned out much better than your original plan would have.
Catherine
Thank you for this insight into your planning and writing of BOC. I agree that having Big D not really doing anything in the second book wouldn’t feel right. I like how he came to terms with his actions and Chow Ji by helping his fellow disciples and exploring more of the world. I really like where the story has taken you over your original plot lines. With regards to the character bloat, I agree with everyone in that it makes your world feel real and lived in. Please don’t change that! The only suggestion I have for keeping track is perhaps creating a character list and pinning it on your Patreon page somewhere for people to check if they can’t recall who is who. Enjoy your month off and I look forwards to seeing what comes next in April :)
Seadrake
It's turning out great and it it wonderful to get a peek at your behind the scenes thoughts. Thanks for all the hard work.
Enkelados
Thank you for writing this, it's very interesting. I still love the story but I felt at times that it stretched on. That there are two books told on parallel certainly explain that. I feel like the parallel developments where you follow multiple characters story, like in the wheel of time don't work well in the webnovel format, as you can't speed read over certain sections and you have to wait days for the next chapter. I'm glad you didn't kill of the verdant blade sect as i like a lot of characters especially the elder that opposes Xiulans and her father but still puts the sect over personal gain. The thing about character bloat is that the Chinese names just don't stick as well in memories as western ones. I'm not sure what can be done about that, but at this point I don't feel it's too much, especially as you usually put in a line to remember who's who. I'm glad that you turned away from the harem route as a devoted and faithful husband is a way too rare character on the internet. I wish you a restful pause, thank you for writing this amazing story.
Nicholas Paterson
Smut harem story? Big D used to be a girl?
Indy
"It means a lot that I’m bringing people that much enjoyment with a story that was originally intended to be basically a smut harem story." Full stop, where is my harem smut story!! XD
MountHermon
Slice of how the sausage is made
Mad Max
Yeah, the revised storyline is much better than what you had originally envisioned.
SaltyVigilante
Personally, I think it's a strength of the story, not a weakness.
SaltyVigilante
Honestly? I don't think character bloat is that much of an issue. It makes your setting feel....lived in. There's a lot of stories where it's the same 5 or 6 people talking to each other all the time, and you know that there must be other people at this school/military unit/town but they never have names. They're just set dressing. In Beware of Chicken, everyone has a name, everyone has a personality, everyone is...a person, not set dressing.
CHoobler
I think it turned out better then what you had outlined, just the broad strokes sounds like it pushes a little to far from the comedy/slice of life tone you started with, but I haven’t been disappointed by your writing yet so who knows.
Robert Mullins
For BTDEM, Remus was supposed to be a short arc. Suddenly 4 books later...
Sebastian Rubin
Just hearing about your creative process is in and of itself fascinating enough to be worth a volume or two, I think.
fatbo
Yeah, I am glad you changed the story to what it is now, especially not killing off uncle fox
REPOsPuNKy
woot
