Haley Thistle
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Eldritch Lover: Part Two (rough draft)
🕑 Added 2021-06-05 20:00:02 +0000 UTCI went back to the tank room, finding that the creature was excitedly watching. It followed my movements again, coming to meet me as I stood at my usual spot. It pressed its hands to the glass, tapping over and over as I tried to think. I came close, meeting their palms.
I motioned to the black, red, and blue marker from last night. “Did you reach out to me last night? Touch the blue if you did.”
Their palm slid onto the blue.
I kept my eyes upon its palm. “Touch blue if you were trying to tell me something.”
It pulled its hand away then placed it back upon blue.
“Touch red if your side still hurts.”
They extended their left arm out again then pointed their finger at me.
I shook my head. “I don’t...I’m not hurt. I’m asking you.” I touched my side. It didn’t hurt as badly as it did this morning, but it was a bit tender. Did it use me to heal? The creature placed their palm back over blue.
“What is it doing?” A researcher below asked.
It was a crazy idea, but I could test it now. “Its trying again.” I looked up at the creature and I kept my mind directed at it. I kept my thoughts to myself, I said nothing. I just sort of felt them, like all my lost thoughts. Could it hear me? Or was it feeling me? I placed each question inside a color in my head. Red felt hot. Blue felt cold. If it could hear my thoughts, it would hear red and pick red. If it was empathic, it would feel the cold and choose blue.
“Ms. Cleary?” They asked behind me.
The creatures hand slid over the blue and pressed hard against it.
“Nothing concrete,” I murmured. “But I think the creature is empathic. I’ll need to do a few more tests to be certain.” I placed my hand over the blue and was shocked to find it felt freezing cold to the touch and the glass began to fog over.
“I need more markers!” I shouted over my shoulder. “Lots of colors too! I’ve gotta make a mood ring.”
Once I received the markers I needed, I made a wheel of them on the front of the tank. I had grown tired of calling it ‘the creature’ so I decided to name him Hans, after the author of the Little Mermaid. Hans seemed to respond to their new name well when I thought about it. Even when I was discussing things with Dr. Yora, Hans would come to the front of the tank as if been called.
The color wheel upon the tank served as a way to communicate better with Hans, but still, all they could do was respond to me. I couldn’t respond to them. If I wanted to fully understand Hans and what they were, I needed to be able to touch them. If only to see if that would bring about an open channel. Dr. Yora was still hesitant though, but she was impressed with the color wheel.
There’s also the dreams. I don’t know how it’s accomplished, but Hans is able to get things across to me through my dreams. But much like at the tank, it’s one sided. I can’t quite hear them. They reach out, so I know they want to tell me something. They are desperate to speak it, but we have no means to do that.
I wake one evening after such a dream. I feel wet all over, but I am bone dry to the touch. I leave my room, finding it is extremely late. The halls are quiet and when I come to the tank room I am shocked that no one is there.
Don’t count your chickens, I thought to myself as I crossed the floor. Someone could show up soon. I came upon the tank, seeing Hans was floating near the top. Their hands were out of the water, touching upon the metal mesh. They sensed me thinking about them and came down through the water towards me, happily clapping their palms to the glass.
I approached, smiling at them as their body shimmied and danced about in the water. “Where is everyone? How long have you been alone? Tap once for long, twice for short.”
Hans tapped once they then swam over to the ladder.
“Oh, no. I shouldn’t.” I shook my head. “Dr. Yora-” I stopped myself. No one was around, and I could just touched through the metal mesh. Worse thing that could happen was lose a finger right?
Hans came to me again, tilting their head to the side then patting their hand over their chest then wiggling their fingers at me.
“You won’t take a finger?” I chuckled.
Hans leaned in closer to the glass, placing their blank head against it.
I took a deep breath. This was a risk, but it was what I wanted all this time. I went to the ladder, climbing up it then leaning over the edge. I saw Hans inside, their hands came up out of the water and pressed against the metal. I reached out too, feeling the coolness of his skin. I felt and heard that flowing rumble from my dreams. It coursed through my arms and into my entire body. I melted into the air, I could feel currents through the space before me. The color wheel I had created appeared before my eyes and shone in radiant gemstone hues surging with light and clarity. I saw an ocean through blue, the waters choppy and severe. Lightning flashed red above me. It fell through the sea, much deeper than it should have been able to go. It felt like hands around me, pulling me, ripping me.
Hans moved their hands away, and I was back upon the top of the ladder. I was sobbing heavily over the lid and Hans’ finger stretched out through them, touching my cheek and catching the tears. Hans was afraid, they showed me that. Has their fingertips touched me, yellow sparkled, filling my eyes and I saw myself. I saw my hands stretched out and I wanted to touch them, to hold them. All around me was blue, but I was glowing bright yellow like the fun.
I reached a finger through the mesh, locking it around Hans’ finger, which coiled around it. Their flesh felt firm, but there was no sign of bone inside them. Not at least from what I could tell. Their skin felt smooth and cool, despite being in water they felt bone dry.
“What are you doing?” Flash of red, streak of purple. I looked off the ladder to see Dr. Yora standing below. She had a smile upon her face.
“Doctor I-” I stopped and frowned. “Did you do this on purpose?” Inside the tank Hans fell down through the waters so I followed and stood before Dr. Yora. She took my hand, looking then over. The palms had small marks from the metal mesh, but there were also colored stains upon the skin matching Han’s palm prints.
“Did you get what you wanted?” Dr. Yora asked.
I took my hand back. “Did you?”
“I’ve been clearing out the room for three hours a night for cleaning,” she laughed. “Hoping you’d get that emotional itch again and wander in. Glad my experiment paid off.”
The purple turned to pink then to orange. It wasn’t as strong as when we were touching, but there was a presence now, a bridge. “Then let me get into the tank.”
Dr. Yora shook her head. “You’re not ready for that yet, Ms. Cleary. I can fake a cleaning regimen but I would have to explain removing that lid.” She pointed up. “For now this is the best I can provide you.”
“They’re scared in there. They’re sad,” I argued.
Dr. Yora glanced at Hans as they watched you. “I am sorry about that. But there is much that is out of my hands. For now, this is how it has to be. So if anyone catches you, just say you’re cleaning.” She walked away from you. “And take notes!”
I went back to the tank, pressing my forehead to the glass. I could feel Hans touching me back. The smoothness of his skin, the flexing of his fingers. There were flashes of pink and yellow. I was floating in water, my hair spread out around me. That flowing roar inside my head lifted me up and made it so I didn’t have to breathe. Inside I was warm, but the flow was cool to the touch. My body ached strangely, I wanted to be held to make it go away. I wanted a constriction around my toros, a touch to the cheek.
Hans was lonely. All they wanted was to be touched.
I climbed back up the ladder, putting what fingers I could fit through the mesh. Hans touched, coiling his fingers around them to hold them. This was all I could do, but Hans was grateful. Though they were used to more around them. They never were alone, never traveled alone. They came out into the sea together. But the sea was all they wanted.
I knew that I wasn’t capable of taking in all that Hans could give. I was used to language, not emotion. I wasn’t an empath like Hans, my scope felt far too small to take in what they were trying to get across. But I could at least see what the broad strokes were painting.
I went to Dr. Yora first thing that morning, rushing to find her first and pull her aside to tell her my discovery. “Hans is part of a pack!”
Dr. Yora adjusted her glasses. “There’s more?”
I was basically frothing at the mouth to get this across. I was so excited to share, but at the same time, I needed her to know so Hans could be saved. “Yes. But that’s the problem. That’s why Hans is so lethargic, why they keep getting bruises. It’s because they rely on a group. Not just for safety in numbers, but because they rely on that contact and stimulus. It’s all internal. How they communicate, how they heal, how they survive relies on that interconnected system they share through their empathic abilities.”
Dr. Yora looked cross as she sat on the edge of her desk. She took in what I had to say, and around her I saw shades of purple and gray. Which was odd, I’d never seen colors like that until I touched Hans. Perhaps there were lingering side effects from our conversation.
“Why did you name it?” Dr. Yora asked.
“That isn’t the point! Is that really all you took away from this? Hans is dying because he doesn’t have his pack, his flock, his school. Whatever you want to call it. He doesn’t have that system of support so they’re-”
The shades of purple turned to pink, but the gray remained, making her face and head look fuzzy to my eyes. “So it made you the start of a new system,” Dr. Yora murmured. “It bonded to you in order to heal. Like the bruise on your side. To survive, it linked itself to an open receptor.”
I bit down on the inside of my cheek. This was getting so frustrating trying to talk to her. Maybe I had just gotten used to communicating through Hans. But even so I knew she wasn’t listening fully to me. “Hans is going to die with or without me,” I said this with a lump in my throat. “Hans needs to go back into the ocean. They aren’t a threat. They’re here because it’s safer.”
Red flashed amongst the gray around her head, illuminating her eyes until they looked yellow. “Safer than what?”
“I don’t know.” I shook my head. “Something that...I can’t describe it.” I went over to her white board, drawing from memory something I had seen in the colors Hans had given me the night before. “I got the sense it was something under us.” I drew the shape I saw under the ocean, a crevice of sorts that reminded me of the space between the floor and the dust ruffles on my childhood bed. Back then, it was a place where monsters came from. With that thought in mind, perhaps that is still true.
Dr. Yora stood beside me. She was wrapped in orange now, which shifted across her like sunlight. “The Underneath.”
“You know this place?”
“My father was researching it before he died. He believed it was an origin, maybe even what we think of as heaven and hell. But if the creature and his kind left it to find a safe place, that means they could be prey for what’s in there.”
“I can’t imagine the deepest parts of our ocean being the safe place,” I shuddered.
“Do you think you can find out more about this?” Dr. Yora pointed to the sketch on the white board. “If you can, I would be happy to increase your pay for this assignment.”
“Did you not hear me before?” I scoffed. “Hans needs to go back. They are dying! Without their pack and without all that support they will begin to shut down. Imagine the worst depression you could think of that just ravages and attacks and shuts down everything inside the body. That’s what could happen to Hans if not already. Dr. Yora, Hans can’t stay here.”
The gray came back, followed by a sweeping, crashing wave of blue. “There’s too much money wrapped up in this already. I need results to-”
“Fuck money!” I snapped. “I thought you cared about Hans. The creature, whatever you want to call them. But you’re just a stinking bureaucrat worried about the bottom dollar like the rest of the world!” I wiped my hand across the whiteboard then glared up at her to see the blue had gone almost black. “I can’t believe I wasted my time like this.”
“Ms. Cleary,” she started with a shaky voice. “I would love nothing more than to let it go. But if I do not deliver results and answers to my benefactors then this whole place will be shut down. My father’s life’s work is tied up here. I can’t just let it all go.”
I pointed towards the door. “But is this what your dad would want? To hold a creature hostage? Did you dad start his research hoping for something like this?”
Dr. Yora stepped back. “No.” The black was engulfing here, swirling around her and grasping hold of her. “No. He started it to protect. To learn in order to preserve, that was what he always said.” She looked away, grabbing a picture frame off her desk which became illuminated in bright yellow that shone through the black. Her face was different, her dark skin was pale underneath and she had four sets of eyes.
“Dr. Yora?”
I heard a baby crying, screaming, and a man whispering over and over to it. “I’ve got you now. Everything is going to be alright. It’s okay.”
I swallowed as I tried to decide what to say. “He was protecting you, wasn’t he?”
Dr. Yora set aside the picture. “Have you gotten side effects from the creature?” She huffed. “I wouldn’t be surprised.” She got a stern look on her face, which had turned back to normal. Or at least, the normal I knew. “No one can know the truth, Ms. Cleary.”
I nodded. “Fine. But all I’m going to say now is that if your dad can do his research on nothing but passion, pennies, and in a basement, I think you could do the exact same.” I turned and left her office, heading back towards the tank.
After lunch I decided to get some sleep. I’d not rested all that evening, and I wouldn’t the coming one. I laid down in bed, taking a deep breath. I laid my arm over my eyes and I had this sinking feeling. Not one that would symbolize doom or dread. Just a slow, warm sink like in a bathtub. Or, I suppose, the ocean.
I opened my eyes to see water above me. It swayed and swished, creating patterns with the light. A ship passed by above me and as I tried to watch, something grabbed my hand, pulling me down further into the water. Arms wrapped around me, holding me close. A flurry of tentacles rose up around us, like a ball gown spinning. I could feel heat pressed into my back and the hands went along my bare skin. They left streaks of pink and orange upon me as they moved.
I wanted to turn around, but they wouldn’t let me, a hand held my head in place, while more hands roamed every inch of me. My body was a canvas, being painted by their feelings and desires. The heat against my back was growing warmer, mingling with the heat flowing through my veins. Fingers touched below, finding a small opening to explore. There was a pulsing through my head, a rise of bubbles all around me. The fingers went deeper, finding that soft flesh parted even more to where it became wet and slick.
I woke with a start, hearing a knock upon my door. “Fuck.” I got up from bed, feeling wetness seep down the inside of my thigh. I opened the door to Dr. Yora. “I was trying to rest.”
“I know. Forgive me, Ms. Cleary.” She walked in and paced slightly. “I’ve called an old friend. He’s going to come and help you get the creature back to the ocean.”
I furrowed my brow. “Professional friend or…”
“He works outside, but he was close with my father. He’s agreed to supply the escape.” She was surrounded by swirls of blue, black, and orange. “This could be this end of the facility. But I would like it if I could still call upon your help in the future.”
I wasn’t sure what to fill. Should I trust her? Was it okay to be this excited? “I could be interested.”
Dr. Yora smiled. “Thank you Ms...Mia.” She replied. “This has been an illuminating experience working with you.”
“Why now?” I asked.
“Final straw, you could say. And what you said about my father, it had been something I had been thinking about for a very long time.” She gave me a rare smile. “I want to make him proud, and I don’t think I’m doing that as I am.”
“You think you’ll get out of this okay?”
She shrugged. “If not, this isn’t the first time I’ve had to change my idenity before.” She winked at me then handed me a key card. “This will give you access to unlock the tank.”
“Who should I be lookig for?” I asked.
“He’ll make himself known.” Dr. Yora stated simply before she left again.
I was anxious to say the least. I didn’t know how this was going to be done, not even when. My gut churned with nerves, but I knew this was going to be the right thing to do. Hans needed to go back home, they needed to heal and be safe.
That evening, I was a ball of nerves. I went into the tank room where Hans was waiting on me. They pressed against the glass, rubbing their entire body upon it as I came forward. I smiled up at them, pressing my palm to the glass.
“Not much longer.” I went to the control panel, finding where I could unlock the lid. I slid the keycard through and the mesh started pulling back, rolling up slowly. Hans raced to the top while I ran to the ladder. I climbed up as fast as I could, but before I got to the top, Hans leaned over and grabbed me. They pulled me up the rest of the way and into water with them. I hugged them close, crying and laughing at the same time. Their arms felt so strong, their body felt so welcome. Hans needed this more than I did. They needed the contact of another being, am embrace filled with emotion. It had been so long for them and I can feel their relief swim through them.
“It’s okay,” I whispered. “Someone’s coming to help you get home.” I touched where the face should be. That blank space of a head. It leaned into my touch then their fingers brused against my lips. One slipped onto my tongue and their skin had a citrus flavor to it. Their finger pressed to my tongue then slowly moved down so their palm pressed over my heart. I felt a pulse through me and then saw it shudder through them.
‘Warm’ became an all incompassing though in my head. I shuddered, as it felt like I was in that dream again. “Not here...can we?”
Hans pulled me under the water and my clothes floated up above my head to the surface. Their hands ran down my body, pulling me so my back rested against their chest. Just like the dream. Even though I was under the water, I found I could breathe, I smell, I could taste. I knew it was risky, that Dr. Yora’s friend could show up at any moment. But I wanted Hans more. I had been aching for this moment for so long and so had they.
Their hands warmed to the touch of my body, painting my skin yet again in bright pinks and oranges. Their tentacles floated around us, creating a curtain between us and the rest of the world. Their fingers new where to go now, finding me eager and ready for them. They were responding to me and my senses. Feeding off the feelings their wre illiciting in me. My passion was overflowing, my desire was heated. I am sure that right now, to Hans, I was the first hot meal they’d had in a long time.
I cried out as their fingers explored, the bubbles of my breath rising above me. I could see the surface, the water shifting and creating patterns, twisting up my clothes and pushing them to the sides of the tank. The flowing roar pulsed in my ears, becoming louder and clearer to me. Hans fingers dipped inside me and I heard a roar through the flowing. It was a deep, rumbling voice that called to me, breathed into me. It vibrated along my skin, making my fingertips and breasts and tingle.
Hans turned me around and I saw the chest split open. There were three lines along the breast, one starting at the neck, then two more on either side of what should be the ribs. A mouth opened up, revealing rows of teeth and three distinct tongues. The tongues were dark purple at the tips, fading into neon pink and then white towards the ends. One tongue slipped out, lapping down my breast and stomach.
I threw my head back shuddering all over as the roar in my mind became louder. Hans was taking my pleasure, feeling it even deeper than I was. Their hands held mine as their tentacles held my back and legs. The tongue sliped between my legs, gliding back and forth against my vulva. Pressing. Pressing. Pressing. And then Hans was inside me. I thrust my back into a deep arch, crying out to match the roar inside me. Hans matched me, mirroring my body. The tongue writhed inside, pushing deep, swilring, moving so all I could feel was Hans.
I can’t describe the feeling, the shared experience between us. For so long the two of us had desired one anothers touch. We had been starved of it. We were feasting, we were celebrating. We weren’t just making love. It was more than that. We were sharing, partaking, giving, reciving, we were creating something.
His tongue stained me blue where it touched. The roar turned into a song, a melody that flowed and circled around me. I felt myself floating, carried to the surface. I laid suspended in the water as Hans’ tongue slipped out from inside me. Blue dripped into the water like ink, suspended like me, dancing, flowing, fading.
I closed my eyes to breathe and felt the world all around me. I pulled myslef out of the water and looked down at Hans as he came to the surface. I don’t think I was human anymore after that.
I pulled on a labcoat hanging on the wall as a man came walking into the room. He looked me over, adjusting his glasses then smoothing his dark hair away from his face. “Ms. Cleary.”
I nodded. He was surrounded by gray, I had no idea how to read him. He wasn’t human. Then again, no one in the room was.
“Call me Mr. Goodfellow,” he replied. “We’re going to get your little friend out of here.” He looked up to the tank. “Big friend, I guess.” He then handed me my purse with all my belongings inside. “Drive behind me,” he instructs. “Keep close, don’t fall behind. It’s all key to disguising the truck. Can your friend get out of-”
Hans landed with a splat outside the tank, then coiled and rolled to us until they stood before Mr. Goodfellow. I didn’t realize just how big Hans was, I had always just felt them inside. But seeing them before Mr. Goodfellow made me realize just what Hans was.
“Yes, yes,” Mr. Goodfellow sighed. “We’ll be just fine. Now, how can we get them out-” He stopped as Hans’ tentacle collected together, tightenign and constricting together until they formed a set of legs.
“Never mind.” Mr. Goodfellow then waved his hand. “Follow me.”
As we walked down the hallway, I feared we could come across guards or the night shift. But I saw nobody. I didn’t even feel anybody. I felt sleep ahead of me, and the closer we got to the foyer the more I could feel it and exhaustion seeping through my bones until it came to my fingertips as little balls of white light.
Mr. Goodfellow’s truck was parked right at the door, which seemed like such a bold move. But as I looked to the cameras, I saw they were completely frozen over. Hans was placed into a tank in the back of the truck and I fetched my car, following Mr. Goodfellow’s instructions.
We drove all night to Tofino beach where Hans had been found. The entire time I could hear Hans’ song. The same one that filled my head when we had joined. They were trying to calm me, to help me. I just wanted to get them home, even if it meant I’d never seen them again. At least they would be safe.
Hans walked onto Torfino beach as we arrived, their legs melting back into the billowing swarm of tentacles it haad been before. They eased into the water and I felt a breath of relief glide through and over my body.
“Thank you,” I said to Mr. Goodfellow.
“I’m more used to stealing art and artifacts. I must admit this was a new one.” He turned to me. “Will you be alright from here?”
“Not sure,” I answered honestly. “I feel changed somehow. I don’t know if it will last.” I looked to Hans who was sitting in the water and gazing out over the distance. “I’ll be fine.” I finally murmured. “You should probably go.”
“I’ll wait a moment in the truck, in case you need anything.” He turned and left the beach, leaving Hans and I alone.
Hans turned, holding their hand out to me. I joined them in the water, going up to my waist. I watched the horizon with them, seeing the sun turn the sky purple and orange. I felt them ask me to come, to follow them. I then saw dots along the surface, they rose from the water raising their arms up and beckoning Hans to them. My heart swelled, my eyes filled with tears. They had been missing Hans, they had been waiting on them to come home.
Hans asked me again to join them. I smiled and tearily I kissed their hand. “I can’t.” I swallowed hard and pushed them out further into the water. “I would love to. But you know I can’t.” Hans kept ahold of my hands, squeezing them tight. I pulled them back, hugging them in as tight of an embrace as I could muster. “I’ll know where to find you.”
Hands came up out of the water around us, they touched me and Hans. They rose up, and celebrated, happily embracing each other as they had found their missing piece. I knew we were changed. Both Hans and I would never be the same. They were not quite their kind anymore and I was no longer completely human. We saw through different eyes, felt with differnt hands. We would always need one another, because we were the only one who understood.
I would always return to Tofino beach to see Hans, to embrace them and go under the waters. But I couldn’t stay long. After the escape from the facility, it did indeed close down. Dr. Yora went into hiding, as did I. I begun to work with Mr. Goodfellow who had more than enough unknown tomes for me to go through as contently as possible. My eyes had been opened. The world was not as closed off as I had believed. It was still a lot to take in. The world of monsters, demons, and the other worldly was no my world too. I belonged amongst them, even though it was still hard for me to believe. But my heart belonged elsewhere. My heart existed in another world. I felt it pulsing in the hands of the one I loved, while their heart moved inside me.
