Haley Thistle
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Gorgon Girlfriend: Meleda (complete)
🕑 Added 2021-04-29 19:00:04 +0000 UTC
Male Rearder (cis himbo) x Female Monster (cis)
I’ve been summoned to a small village in Pirlipat to take care of a monster. I don’t know many of the details at the moment, all I know is that the villagers are desperate to be rid of the creature. Never one to turn down a chance for adventure, I decided to answer their plea. I also like Pirlipat a great deal, as they have some of the most amazing foods. But I’ve been told by my fiancée I could stand to lose a few pounds, so I’ve promised her I won’t indulge while there.
This was also my chance to earn the money I needed to give my fiancée the wedding she wants. Her family has refused to pay for anything since it’s supposed to be my responsibility to look after her and all her needs. I don’t think her family is very nice, but perhaps I can change their opinion after slaying a dangerous monster and bringing home the reward for the wedding.
Once I arrive at the village, I am surprised by how nice it looks. I was expecting a struggling hamlet of farmers, but I see large, fancy houses and expensive boutiques, not a place that would need help with anything. “You must be the paladin, Sebastian!” I am greeted by a man in a rather splendid hat, who shakes my hand heartily. “Welcome to Plumstone! I’m Mayor Cobble, the one who sent for you.”
“Hello.” I make a quick bow. “So I’m in the right place. I saw all the hat shops and thought perhaps I was lost.”
Mayor Cobble slaps me on the back. “You’re in the right place, my boy! Now come, let me tell you of the awful monster plaguing us.”
The town looks as though it’s all in one piece. I’ve been in places where buildings have been burnt down, people eaten. This place looks untouched. Yet Mayor Cobble keeps going on about how women are fainting, men are at arms, and children can’t sleep. But I’ve not heard much about the monster except that people can’t seem to go to the picnic grounds. “I’m sorry, but are you sure this monster of yours isn’t just some agitated opossum?” I ask.
Mayor Cobble looks at me aghast. “Would you call a dragon a gecko?”
I shrug. “The Gecko Beast, I would.”
He claps me on the back again. “Listen here, my boy. You’re a big lad, and you can handle this monster!”
I still don’t know what the monster is even doing to the village. “I’m sure I can, sir. But perhaps I would be overkill.”
“Better to have help and not need it than to need it and not have it.” Maybe I’m foolish as my fiancée says, but I don’t quite get that. “Just go along this path here, and it’ll take you right to the picnic grounds. Once there, I’m sure you’ll come across the creature plaguing us.” He takes a pistol from his pocket. “Would you like a gun?”
I shake my head. “No. Please. I don’t think even you need that. All I ask is that my horse be put up in a stall. It’s supposed to rain, and he doesn’t like getting wet without bubbles.”
Mayor Cobble gives me a strange look, but he smiles. “Fine, fine. Your horse will be kept dry,” he chortles. He hands me a bag. “Your first half of the reward. You’ll get the rest when you bring me the head of that monster.”
I’m taken aback. I may kill monsters, but I always make a point of burying them at least. It may take ages to dig the grave of a giant beast, but I was always taught to be respectful. “I have to cut the head off, sir?”
“To make a point,” he smiles.
Perhaps I could get away with painting a rock or something. “Okay,” I say with an awkward smile, and I make my way down the path.
My fiancée would love the place. All the shops, the fancy streetlamps, even this cute avenue lined by flowers that alternate in color to make a pretty pattern. She’s always loved fancy things, so she would fit in here. I doubt we could afford it, but I’d try.
The picnic area isn’t what I expected. When I think picnic, I think of grass and rough wood tables, but here there is a huge white pavilion covered in flowering vines, near a stream running into a fanciful fishpond. Under the pavilion are big glass tables and even chairs! Chairs for a picnic? I never had one. I wander up upon the pavilion, looking around for anything suspicious.
Nothing seems out of the ordinary. I scour the area for any signs of tracks that I could follow, but there’s nothing. I kneel down by the stream, inspecting the bank. Still nothing.
“You got a pretty caboose there.”
“Oh, thank you,” I chuckle. “My fiancée says…” I stop and turn around quickly, seeing a woman sitting on the railing of the pavilion. “Sorry, Miss. I didn’t realize anyone was here. You should be careful. Mayor Cobble told me there was a monster around here.” I approach and bow to her as she swings her legs.“I am the paladin Sebastian, Miss. I can escort you home if that would help you feel safe.”
She’s wearing one of those fancy hats with a veil covering her face, so I can’t really see what she looks like. “Well, aren’t you the sweetest thing I ever did meet. It’s been a long while since I met a real gentleman in these parts. I am the Lady Meleda.” She taps her lap. “Mind catching me as I come down?”
“Of course!” I hold out my arms, catching her as she hops off the railing. She’s quite petite, which I find endearing. “I didn’t see you when I first got here.”
“I saw you,” she giggles. “A big handsome fellow like you is very hard to miss.” She walks her fingers up my chest, then taps the tip of the nose. “Don’t see enough of that around here either.”
My face feels warm and my insides are fuzzy. “Here, you can take my arm if you like. I would hate for you to get scared on your way home.”
“Oh, that’s right!” Meleda chortles. “The monster.” She wiggles her fingers. “I’ve heard talk of said monster. But do you know what’s really monstrous?”
I shake my head. “Land theft.” She swings her arm and points back to the pavilion. “See that gaudy eyesore there?”
“I believe so, yes.”
She sniffs. “That thing is built on someone else’s land. They didn’t even ask! Just because the property lines are so close together,” she sneers with a high pitched voice in a mocking tone. “And because they think they can walk all over me!”
I don’t get it. “Huh?”
Meleda sighs and places her hands on her hips. “Did they send you to kill me?”
“No!” I gasp in alarm. “They sent me to kill a monster! I would never harm a lady like you, Meleda.”
“I can be both.” She takes off her hat, and her head is covered in what looks like wriggling, giant worms. She smiles at me, eyes covered by large purple sunglasses and framed by glittering scales, and the corners of her mouth stretch wider than normal.
“You’re too pretty to be a monster, Lady Meleda,” I say.
Her expression goes slack, almost surprised. “Well, thank you.” She puts her hat back on with the veil away from her face. “But seriously, Sebastian, I’m the monster.”
I laugh. “No! Then why would I have been sent to kill you? That’s not very funny, Lady Meleda.”
“The gods made you far too lovely, didn’t they?” She takes a step back. “I am a monster, sweetie. Just probably not the kind you’re used to. See these?” She taps a long fingernail to her sunglasses. “These are keeping me from turning you into a giant lollipop.”
I furrow my brow. “But why would they want me to kill you?”
“So they can take my land!” Meleda points across the street. “It was left to me when my mother died, and I’m not giving it up for the pitance they offered. All the money in the world, and they offered me crumbs.” She sniffs and shakes her head. “Since the lines of property were so close and hard to determine, they built this eyesore in my backyard! And when I dared to say people couldn’t come into my backyard without permission, they flipped. Sure, maybe I did turn a screaming asshole into marshmallow as a warning. So what? I think we have enough assholes in the world to spare one.”
“That’s still not nice.”
Meleda frowns. “I know! But they want you to kill me just so they can expand their stupid picnic area. Who do you think is worse?”
“They also wanted me to bring you their head.”
Her whole body goes slack. “You must be joking.”
“I thought it was bad too, and I’m glad to know I’m not alone in my thinking.” I look up at the sky, feeling the first raindrop on my face.
“We can discuss morality at my house.” Meleda takes my hand. “You can continue being a gentleman and escort me home.”
It starts to pour before we make it to her home. I’m soaked to the bone and shivering, and I’ve never been one for being cold. Meleda takes me inside, making me stand before the hearth while she goes to change and find me something to wear. I figure it won’t hurt to remove my wet things while I wait, so by the time she returns I’m naked before the fire.
“Showing off?” Meleda clicks her tongue.
I turn and use a piece of armor to cover myself. “Not at all!”
She smiles and strides into the room, handing me a robe. “Then put this on. It should fit you.” She sits down, watching me as I dress. “So tell me, paladin Sebastian, how much are they offering you to kill me?”
“Quite a lot.” I run my hand through my hair. “Enough to give my fiancée the wedding she wants.”
Meleda’s brow arches. “You’re betrothed. So you’re doing this for love.”
“No, I’m doing it for money,” I chuckle.
She nods and scrunches up her face for a brief second. “Well, I don’t have much to offer, and since you are to be wed, my other offer probably won’t suffice either.” She leans back in her chair and sighs. “This whole situation just keeps going pear-shaped.”
“What do you mean?”
“Worse. It keeps getting worse.” She smiles at me. “How does your fiancée put up with you?”
“Oh, she says I give her headaches and it would be easier to live with a bull in the house than me,” I laugh.
Meleda frowns. “I sure hope she’s joking.”
“She also said I couldn’t come back until I had the money to pay for the wedding she wants.”
She leans closer to me. “Couldn’t or shouldn’t?”
“Couldn’t?”
“I don’t know who the monster is now, me or her.” She leans back again and looks into the fire.
“I don’t know what I am going to do. I can’t kill you now, Lady Meleda. I’ll have to give back half of the reward Mayor Cobble already gave me, and after that I’ll have to find some other way to make that money.”
“I can offer you a meal,” Meleda says. “Are you hungry?”
“Yes!” I exclaim excitedly. “But I should really watch what I eat. My fiancée says my paunch is starting to look ridiculous.”
I can’t tell what her expression is behind those glasses, but she doesn’t seem too amused by that. “Your fiancée sounds mean, Sebastian.”
“It’s tough love.”
“You're a big, handsome man, who cares if you have a paunch?” She then rose from her seat. “Eat what you want, don’t worry about what you look like.”
She takes me to her small kitchen, where she sliced some bread and cheese and fries them in a pan with butter. “I don’t have much right now, as they won’t let me into the village to shop anymore.”
“You used to go into Plumstone?” I ask.
Meleda scoffs. “Oh, yes, all the time. Barely have the money for it, aside from what my father sends me, and he’s been stingy since my brother fucked it up with his gambling.” She flips the bread in the pan.
“How much do you need?”
Meleda turns and scowls at me. “Don’t start. You have a… someone at home wanting money, don’t you?”
“My fiancée, but…” Meleda’s kitchen looks bare, and one of her windows is broken and covered by boards that look poorly-hung. “She wants it. You look like you need it.”
Her scowl deepens, but she hands me a plate. The bread has become buttery and toasted, and the cheese inside is gooey and melting over the sides. “Thank you!” I happily grab at the food, breaking it in half and offering it to her.
Her frown turns into a smile. “No, that’s for you. I can make my own.” Meleda starts to cut her bread again, but the knife breaks in her hand. “Dammit! Again?”
I take out my dagger and slice the bread and cheese for her. “Don’t worry, it’s clean.” I smile up at her. “I can probably fix your knife too, if you like.”
Meleda chuckles, taking the plate. “You don’t seem like a ruthless paladin.”
“I wouldn’t say ruthless,” I murmur. “I try to take care of people, and it just comes naturally to me. I always want to help when I see someone is being treated wrong.”
Meleda hesitates for a moment, then continues making her food. “Is your fiancée like that too?”
“No. I helped her father with a whooping bear problem, and instead of paying me he gave me his daughter.” I take a bite of my food, and it tastes delicious
“Ah,” Meleda clicks her tongue. “Well, that makes sense,” she says under her breath.
“What about you? What do you do, Lady Meleda?” I ask.
She turns and sits back down with her food on her plate. “Right now? Nothing.” She picks at her sandwich. “Between being ostracized from Plumstone and having you sent here to kill me, I’ve not been able to run my business as usual.”
“What was your business?”
She looks sad for a moment, distant even. I can’t tell what her eyes are doing, but her shoulders drop and she sets her food back down. “I made candy for one of the confectionaries in town. But now… the same man I made candy for set fire to my lawn.”
An indignant fire burns in me. It’s not fair they treat her this way just because she stood up for her property. “That’s not right.”
“No,” she sighs. “I thought those people liked me, but apparently they only tolerated me.” She takes a bite of her food and chews slowly.
“What all needs to be fixed?” I ask. “Maybe I can help.”
Meleda huffs. “Don’t do that, Sebastian. I’m not some damsel in distress. I’m just a missy who’s pissy.”
“I’m serious.” I stand up and go to the broken window. “I can fix this for you. I’ll even help you get your lawn back in order, if it’s still not on fire.”
Meleda smiles warmly. “It’s not.”
“I’d rather be helping you than trying to kill you,” I tell her.
She chuckles warmly. “That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. But I can’t offer you much, Sebastian.”
“That’s okay. Once the rain stops, you can show me what needs to get done. I’ll go into town, get my horse and some supplies…”
“But what will you tell them?” Meleda grunts. “They sent you here to kill me, after all. They’re going to expect some answers.”
“I’ll just tell them you fled and I’m camping out waiting for your return. Easy.”
“Easy for you, cutie pie,” she sighs. “I can’t change your mind on this, can I?”
I shake my head. “Not at all.”
Meleda makes up the couch for me to sleep on that evening. By dawn, I’m up early to go inspect her yard. It’s an easy fix. I just have to dig and till, seed it, build a new fence and it will be as good as new. A few of her other windows are broken too. I go to town to fetch my horse, telling the citizens I came up with last night. After that, I buy some supplies, which seems to confuse the townsfolk, but I assure them they are necessary to hunt the monster.
Over the next few days I make repairs to Meleda’s house. It’s not bad at all; in fact, I would rather do this than anything else. I also enjoy Meleda’s company, and I like talking with her at night before bed. “How are you going to keep this going?” She asks me one evening. “Eventually they’re going to get impatient. You can’t keep pretending at this game of cat-and-mouse much longer.”
“I know. Hopefully I’ll get the yard fixed in time to come up with a better story. Have you thought about reaching out to your family for help?”
“I haven’t heard from my brother in a long time,” she grumbles. “And my dad is growing exhausted of us, so I choose not to deal with him.” She shrugs and looks into the fire. “Maybe I really should go back home to him, and let the stupid village have my home. If only it wasn’t my mother’s.”
I decide then and there that I can’t leave until I know Meleda is safe.
