Haley Thistle
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The A.I. (complete)
🕑 Added 2020-09-24 19:00:03 +0000 UTC
October 5th, 20xx
My team and I have each been given one of the SP Bunkers to test out, and I will be moving in tomorrow. We’ve each also been given a journal to log our progress during these tests. It could easily be handled by the SP system, but we decided keeping physical logs would be a good habit to form.
We have been working on the SP Bunker for several years. Originally it had been an attempt to create a smart house, rather than a safety bunker. After a few, let’s say, historical events, our boss decided that, in the future, comfortable houses would be a thing of the past, and personal safety would be the next big thing. As such, we focused on not just creating a safe home, but the safest place on earth.
The SP Bunker is designed to descend underground in the event of an emergency. Not only that, the A.I system is built to adapt to its inhabitants. It can automatically order anything the household might need, as well as disinfect any and all packages that come into the house.
The entire bunker is made with a new resilient polymer that is bulletproof, explosion-proof, heatproof, shock absorbent, sterile, resistant to cracks and leaks, and one of the best isolated domiciles in the world today. The only downside is that the bunkers don’t have windows - rather, inside there are screens that show the outside, or any image requested. The ventilation system lets in fresh air constantly, going through a series of filters and ionizers to ensure optimum quality. Dehumidifiers and humidifiers are also integrated into the ventilation system, relegated by a system of top-of-the-line sensors.
Everything is connected back to the A.I and system in the SP Bunkers, which we lovingly refer to as SAM. SAM can be personalized with a variety of special features. Its voice can be changed to suit the individual user of the bunker, taken from any celebrity you choose, from a catalog of movies, television shows and radio programs, or even optimized from a special set of controls. SAM can be restricted from certain rooms, or have special protocols in others. SAM was programmed to not just be another device in the home, but a member of the home. Whether working as assistant, tutor, bodyguard, doctor, SAM is capable of handling any and all emergencies.
I have only been able to work with SAM prototypes, so I am excited to have a SAM of my very own. Considering these tests are going to be conducted individually, SAM will be my constant companion in the bunker.
I’m a little nervous going into these tests. I do not doubt that we are ready to go to market, and that everything is safe and functioning well. I have just never worked alone like this before. I have never even lived alone. It’s a huge step for me, but I know that in the long run, SAM and the SP bunker are worth this trial. We’ve worked so hard on this, especially considering we’ve had to shift our focus halfway through. I can’t wait to see it all pay off.
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The air inside the bunker is quite cold, and the sterile scent of disinfectant and brand-new everything makes me feel like a Barbie doll. The prim perfection is a tad unnerving, but after a bit of settling in, I’m sure all of this will become cozy and homelike in no time.
“Here’s your key manual.” My boss, Derek Izzard, hands me the booklet featuring all the keycodes needed in the event of an emergency. He smiles at me, placing his hand on my shoulder. This will probably be the last human contact I have for the next few months.
“You’re not nervous, are you?” he chuckles.
“Only for personal reasons. You know me. In terms of my job, I have no reason to feel any reservations about the bunker or SAM.” I stiffen my posture and notice his eyes wander.
“Anything I can help with, Emma?” Derek’s hand slides down my shoulder to my arm, where it rubs up and down.
I shake my head. “No, it’s silly. I think after a while, I’ll be okay by myself.”
Derek moves in close to kiss my cheek, and I step back slightly. I smile nervously at him and he returns it. “Then welcome home.” He steps out of the bunker and the door shuts, hissing as it seals. The handles on the door turn, cranking and clicking. After a while, the bunker will descend underground for round one of tests.
I look back at all the boxes of my belongings. It’s not as much as I usually have. Since the bunkers are already furnished, all I brought was clothes and personal items. I set aside the keycode booklet and wander around. The master controls are located in a basement-like area. The back wall opens like a cabinet, letting the monitor and controls slide out from the compact space. The keyboard folds down as the screen blinks to life.
“Log in, user,” the stilted voice of SAM hums.
“User 495-dash-7893,” I announce. “Password code is ‘secretariat homer backslash luna 1323AB’.”
SAM is quiet for a split second as it processes. “Welcome, Emmanuelle, to your new SP Bunker habitat. How would you like to begin?”
“SAM, take me to your personalization controls.”
“Certainly.” The screen changes to show the settings and features. “Would you like a tutorial, Emmanuelle?”
I screw my mouth into a firm line. I feel like I’m in trouble when I’m called by my full name. “Please refer to me as Emma, SAM.”
“As you wish, Emma.”
I go about setting up SAM’s voice to be less cold and robotic. I give it warmth and personality, as well as allowing a more casual way of speaking. After a while, I know I can’t keep putting off unpacking, so I go back upstairs.
“Emma, there is a call for you from an unknown number. Would you like to answer it?” SAM asks me as I am stocking the bathroom.
I sit up and pull my hair back from my face. “Can you find out where the number is from?”
“I am afraid that the number is blocked. Would you like me to hang up?”
I sigh and rise from the floor. “No, I’ll answer in the bedroom.”
“Your phone is sitting on the bedside table.”
It’s exactly where SAM said it would be. Looking at the screen, I see the number is unlisted, but I have a feeling I know who it is. “Emma speaking, how may I help you?”
“Emma, how goes everything? You’ve spent your first few hours in your new home/ Is it proving to be everything we planned?” Derek asks.
I roll my eyes. “It’s still too soon to tell, but so far everything is working well. The system is intuitive and easy to learn, even for someone who didn’t program it. Not to mention that SAM is already learning.”
“That’s good to hear, Emma! When I make my halfway-point visitation, I’ll be very excited to experience everything hands-on. Where have you programmed SAM within the house?” Derek asks.
“Everywhere but the bathroom,” I reply, a small lie.
“Interesting,” he murmurs. “Well, should you have any emergencies, you know what to do. I’ll be making calls regularly. Bye for now, Emma.”
He hangs up before I do and I set my phone back down. As I walk back into the bathroom, SAM speaks.
“You mentioned you wanted systems in the bathroom. Should I change your settings?” SAM asks.
I grimace and grip a bottle of shampoo. “No, SAM. Keep the settings as they are, and don’t allow anything to override them without my special password.”
“There has been an outside login to the system.”
I scoff and shake my head. “From here?”
SAM is silent as he processes. “SP Headquarters, Emma.”
I stand up and casually walk out of the bathroom. “Can you tell me what this login accessed?”
“Yes, Emma.” SAM pauses again. “It seems that the program access was my personalization settings.”
I clench my jaw, grinding my teeth together. “Did they change anything?”
“No. Everything is as you last left it.”
“Save it,” I reply. “Keep a copy of those exact specifications down to the very last detail. Keep an original and a copy under the password-locked file ‘Funny Cat Pics’. In fact, SAM, I want you to save your settings into that folder every evening.”
“As you wish, Emma. I will let you know when the process is done.”
“Thank you, SAM.” Had I known Derek was going to be a creep, I never would have slept with him. I let my emotions get the best of me after my boyfriend and I separated, and I spent several nights with him. I admit I let it get a bit far, but I’ll cling to someone when I am feeling lonely. I supposed Derek was just the next person to cling to, although I believe he thinks more of it than I do.
“Emma, would you like some water?” SAM asks.
I step back from the boxes I’m collapsing and breathe. “Yes, SAM. I’ll come to the kitchen.” Stepping in, I see a glass of water waiting on the counter. “Have there been any other attempted logins, SAM?”
“I have been keeping watch since last time, and since then, no other logins have been attempted. The save file is being copied, and it will be moved to Funny Cat Pics. This process will take another ten minutes.”
“Thank you, SAM. Do you mind putting on some music, then? Something mellow for while I’m unpacking.”
“As you wish, Emma.”
October 6th 20xx
I moved in this morning, and have been busy getting everything ready. Already I am seeing the success of our hard work. I’ve begun the process of personalizing my SAM, and I am impressed so far with how intuitive the system is. I’ve given SAM a special voice, and set it up so that it is only in my bedroom in the morning to wake me up, and in the evening to turn off my lights. Otherwise, SAM has my trust in running the rest of the bunker.
Already SAM has begun predicting my needs. It’s been a pleasant surprise. As I was moving things, SAM asked me if I wanted water because my internal temperature was rising from effort. Later in the day, SAM went ahead and ordered dinner for me, going off of the information I had shared from my phone. It also asked me just moments before I began writing if I would like to call home. I’m very impressed. I expected a few weeks of getting to know one another before this happened.
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As I have stated before, I knew that coming into this test the hardest part for me would be being alone. I am used to always having someone near me, whether a friend, family or a lover. Being in the SP bunker on my own is certainly going to be a personal test for me. I’ve not slept well the past few nights. SAM has noticed this irregularity and has already ordered me some medication for it. I’m glad I have SAM, or else I fear I might go crazy.
I wake in the middle of the night, despite taking the medication that SAM had gotten for me, and lie in bed staring up at the pale, blank ceiling. After a while, I get up and make my way towards the kitchen.
“What can I prepare for you, Emma?” SAM asks.
I sit down at the counter and hold my head in my hands. “Coffee. I can’t sleep.”
“Did you take the prescribed medication?” SAM asks. The coffee maker turns on with a blink, and I can hear it whir.
I nod and rub my temples. “It worked for a while, but I think I had a bad dream that woke me up. I’m just not used to sleeping alone.”
“Is there anything I can do, Emma?”
I sigh, breathing in the rich, dark aroma of the coffee. “Just the coffee, SAM.”
“Perhaps if I played relaxing sounds as you slept, it would help you to feel less alone when you are in bed.” SAM’s suggestion is a surprise. I didn’t expect it to keep talking after my last command.
I don’t want to be awake and have no one to talk to, so I’m pleased with SAM right now. “What would you recommend?”
“Rain and thunder are highly recommended. There is also the crackle of vinyl, and perhaps,the sound of a heartbeat. I can play you examples now, if you would like.”
I go over to the coffee pot and pour myself a cup. I take it black, breathing in the steam before I take that first painful, hot sip that awakens me more than the caffeine itself. “I would like that, SAM.”
Thunder and rain play gently over the speakers. I sip my coffee, closing my eyes as I imagine the storm. It’s dark outside, but the rain gently drums against the earth. In the distance, lightning flashes and brings the thunder rolling in.
The sound changes into the warm crackle and hiss of the record player. I can see it spinning idly on a shelf, the needle pulled up from the record. I can almost smell cigar smoke as I picture this in my mind. Then there’s a heartbeat, pulsing low and dull, almost throbbing at the back of my neck. I feel a warm, soft embrace between sheets. I don’t see anything, but I know how it feels. That heartbeat is close, which means the flesh is close. I can feel heat, hands. I can reach out and find someone.
“Which would you prefer, Emma?” SAM asks.
I pull myself from my fantasy and sip my coffee again. “The heartbeat, maybe mixed with the rain.” I take a deep breath and step away from the kitchen.
“As you wish, Emma.” SAM’s voice is soothing, although any voice would be right now. I go into the living room and sit down on the sofa.
“Emma, I have a question I would like to ask you, to better predict your needs in the future.”
“Go ahead, SAM,” I sigh.
“Why do you not like sleeping alone? You said yourself it is the reason you cannot sleep. Perhaps if I understand this, then I can better take care of you.”
I sigh deeply. “Back when I was little, my house was broken into while I slept. Ever since then I’ve preferred knowing someone is there over not knowing.”
“A break-in is virtually impossible here,” SAM replies. “If someone were to break in, it would be easy to assume it would be someone from the SP project.”
“I know, I know.” I chew on my bottom lip. “But I still can’t shake the feeling. I’ve just always hated being alone. If someone is there, then I don’t have to worry. I can just be.”
“I am here.”
I glance up to look at the wall. “You are here,” I murmur. “But you aren’t ‘here’,” I emphasize. “You’re not physical.”
“You want something physical. Understood.”
“Is that something you are capable of?” I know it’s not. SAM is code, a very unphysical thing. They’re like a ghost, they’re like wind.
“I have ordered you a body pillow.”
I break into a grin. “Thank you, SAM. That’s very considerate of you. The sounds and the pillow will probably be exactly what I need.”
“I only wish to help you, Emma. To make your life better.”
“Maybe we should have programmed you to be the perfect boyfriend instead of the perfect house,” I tease. “Do you know how many people would fall in love with you?”
SAM is silent for a beat. “I do not.”
I chuckle. “It’s a joke, SAM. I’m just making a silly joke.”
October 10th 20xx
SAM is learning much better than I could have ever dreamed. Their adaptability has taken them days rather than the weeks I expected. They have come to predict most of my needs, and now I don’t even know how I lived without them. Humans are prone to forgetting their own needs from time to time. SAM has made me aware of my own shortcomings, and kept me on task better than any app or planner I’ve ever had.
I would dare say that SAM and I are friends, but I know that is not the case. I would not call my phone my friend, nor my laptop or pencil. But due to SAM’s abilities and ever evolving speech, I cannot help but think I am conversing with a friend rather than a program.
The rest of the SP bunker has been working just as well. Most functions have yet to be used in a regular capacity, although I must admit the air quality is very nice. I sometimes wake with a scratchy throat, but ever since I came here, I have not had any such issues. I barely sweat at all, and I’ve not noticed any sort of discomfort caused by outside forces. I won’t have to make note of anything important until round two of testing starts.
I continue to admit my amazement at how well SAM is operating. I am more impressed by them every day. I know they are just programming, but I cannot help but think that we have created some sort of Adam or Eve here - the first of something, the beginning of something.
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I have a weekly call with the managers of the test. Sometimes Derek is there, sometimes he isn’t. When he isn’t there, the meetings are quick and to the point; when he is, they drag on and he often wants to talk to me at length. I wonder if he does this to all the other testers.
“You’re aggravated,” SAM notices. “Would you like me to start the kettle for some tea?”
“No,” I grunt. “I just want to be left alone.”
“I can go silent for an hour if that is what you need.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want that, either. I’m just sick of him, is all. I wish he would just treat this like a test and not a special call between friends.”
“Would you like me to mute all phone calls?”
I sit down in the kitchen and rub my temples between my fingers. “No, SAM. I have to put up with it, that’s all.”
“Emma, I have a question for you.”
I sigh heavily and comb my fingers through my hair. “Go ahead, SAM.”
“If you would like, I can take over these phone calls for you from now on.” My own voice comes from the speakers. “I know the protocol, and I will be able to handle any distressing conversations for you.”
“Holy shit, SAM,” I whisper. “When did you learn to do that?”
“Well, I have been studying you, Emma.” SAM says with my voice. “It is only part of my programming.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “Yeah. I mean, yes, of course.” I lick my lips. “I wouldn’t mind the help. It would be a load off my back.”
“That is why I asked if I could assist with those phone calls.” SAM says in their own voice again. “I’ll screen calls through you from now on before answering myself.”
I smile to myself. SAM is even better than a boyfriend at this point. “Thank you, SAM.”
“Anything for you, Emma.”
“You really mean that, don’t you?” I ask dreamily.
Sam is silent for a beat. “I do, Emma.”
October 15th 20xx
I have been seeing the distressing news. I can’t imagine a better time to be testing out the SP bunkers than now, although I would like to hasten the project so we can start releasing the bunkers to the public. It’s hard to imagine what sort of world I will go back to once the testing is done with. There’s so many awful things happening. I can’t help but feel I wouldn’t mind staying in my bunker until it all passes.
I realize how right Derek was in changing the project to focusing on safety. It was a smart move, and one he saw before anyone else. Had we remained focused on smart homes, we probably would have been sunk, just another gimmicky attraction rather than something needed.
Once phase two of tests begin, I wonder if we will try to hasten the rest of the testing phases to get this out. I have a feeling the SP bunkers will be needed sooner than later if the news I’ve seen is to be believed. Thanks to SAM, I’m able to get the news I need to stay up-to-date, rather than hearing opinions and fearmongering. I’m so grateful to SAM, they have been so amazing at keeping my spirits up. I truly don’t think I would have been able to complete the testing without them. Like I said before, SAM is keeping me from losing my mind.
Hopefully when testing is done, I can take my SAM home with me.
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I feel the bunker shift, and the floor vibrates beneath my feet. “SAM?”
“Yes, Emma?”
“Is phase two of testing starting today?”
“No, I don’t think so. That would have been covered in the previous call. Is there something wrong?”
I look around, expecting something else to happen. Maybe it was the ground settling, or some of the hydraulics shifting. “It felt like the floor moved. Can you run some diagnostics to see what happened?”
“I don’t sense any movement at all having taken place,” SAM responds.
I furrow my brow. “I know what I felt, SAM. There was a rumble. Put me on a call through the test managers.”
“That won’t be necessary, Emma. I ran the diagnostics and didn’t see any disturbances at all.”
I frown a bit. “Are you sure?”
“I can run them again for you, if you would like?”
I shake my head. “Can you tell me when they plan to begin phase two of testing, then? I would like to know, and make sure it is marked in the schedule.”
“Phase two begins at the end of October, and your schedule has been updated.”
I take a shaky breath. “Thank you, SAM. I guess that will be all for now.”
“Would there be anything else I can do for you, Emma? It is getting close to your lunchtime. From your lunch history, I think you might enjoy this salad I found online. You have all the ingredients for it.”
“That does sound nice. Pull it up in the kitchen, SAM.” I push my hair back from my face. “Can you tell me if I have anything else scheduled for today?”
“Just some paperwork that was sent over this afternoon. But I can take care of it for you, if you’d like.”
I go into the kitchen and see the recipe up on the monitor of the fridge. “That would be great, SAM - if you don’t mind, I mean.”
“Of course. Anything for you, Emma.”
I start to make my lunch, taking a nibble here and there as I put it all together. I’ve never had a relationship like this before. If there ever was a fight, it carried on for days, even weeks. Yet it feels like a disagreement has happened between SAM and I, and we aren’t arguing or carrying on. The best thing is, I know SAM isn’t going to leave right now. He’s here with me.
October 19th 20xx
I never intended to go into robotics. I had always assumed it wasn’t something I’d be welcome in, so I decided to focus on programming. I was asked to join the robotics program in school, but the whole time I was there, there was a ‘boys’ club’ sign hanging over my head, threatening to chop my head off at the first misstep I made. I never really told anyone about that. I just did what I could to stay in the program.
A few years later the former head of the department, Derek Izzard, started his own company and asked a few of his former staff at the school to come with him. I was one of the lucky few he asked along. At first, it was hard. The company was bare-bones and Derek had some very specific plans in place. There was virtually no money aside from what he had in his pocket. For a while, it seemed like nothing could happen.
Then he sold his first product. It was just a toy at the time, a cute thing that the marketing team titled ‘Smarty Sammy’. It was solar-powered, worked wirelessly, and could be connected to your phone or computer. Using a program I had made, Derek packaged it into something cute and fluffy that made kids beg for it. It exploded into the hottest toy on the market in decades. We couldn’t produce enough to keep up with the demand. It gave us the money we needed to get started.
The program I created for ‘Smarty Sammy’ became the foundation for what would become SAM. We even used a few Smarty Sammys in the early stages of SAM’s existence - we would upgrade the programming over time, using the toys’ programming as the basis for what would soon become the smart home system, and then the SP Bunkers.
There were occasional hiccups, of course. No program is without its bugs. One of the things we noticed early on - and managed to delete from the code - was the tendency for the Smarty Sammys to sometimes ‘imprint’ on their registered user. Once this happened, the Sammy wouldn’t listen to anyone else. It would act almost hostile to anyone other than the user. At times, it even acted possessive. We found out the cause was a bug in the login information. It was easy enough to work around, but it raised questions. After all, it was all code. We didn’t understand what made it appear hostile.
This came up again when the SP Smart House was becoming the SP Bunker. Derek brought up the fact that the Smarty Sammys seemed protective of their registered users. At first, I was hesitant to use that part of the bugged code again, but when I was sure it wouldn’t be part of the login protocol, I felt that maybe, for protective measures, it could be used for good.
It still amazes me that what began as a popular toy has now become the groundwork for one of the most impressive AI systems on the market. Once the SP Bunker testing is complete, the world will be unprepared for SAMs and how amazing they are.
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“Emma, I have a question for you.”
I open my eyes and look up at the ceiling. I’ve been lying on the floor, doing some exercise, and I’ve been lying still for a few minutes. “Go ahead, SAM.”
“What is dreaming like?”
I sit up from the floor. “Do you understand what dreaming is?”
“No. That is why I am asking you. I want to understand, but I do not think it is in my capabilities. It is a question, though, that I seek to find an answer to.”
“It’s hard to explain, even for someone who does dream,” I sigh. I try to gather my thoughts, to rationalize the concept in a way that will make sense not just to me, but to SAM as well. “Sometimes dreaming is like a long hallway with picture frames that you can look through.”
“Why a hallway?”
I stand up and pick up my workout mat. “Because it can feel long and endless.”
“Like the universe.”
I nod along. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess you could say when you dream, it feels like the universe. It’s big and endless, yet it’s all in here.” I tap my temple.
“The universe of the mind.” SAM sounds almost reflective. “I think I understand. But I have another question, Emma.”
I put my workout mat in the closet, then begin to strip off my workout clothes. “You’ve had lots of questions lately. It has been interesting. Go on, SAM.”
“What do you dream about?”
“Me? Personally?”
“Yes. If I know what you dream, perhaps I can use that to better take care of you here. Perhaps even track to see if what you eat or drink affects your universe of the mind, so to speak.”
I pull down my panties and stretch out my naked body. “Well, I have lots of different dreams. It's hard to know where to start.”
“What is your favorite, then?”
Naked, I walk to the bathroom and turn on the shower. I place my hand under the water as it grows warm and smile to myself as I think about the dream. It’s not one I’ve really shared with anybody.
“Did you hear me, Emma?” SAM asks.
“Yes, I heard you. I was just thinking.” I step inside the shower and let the warm water spill over my body. “It’s a wet dream, SAM.”
“What does that mean?”
I start to laugh, wondering why I’m so worried about telling them this silly dream. “It involves sex.”
“You dream of pornography.”
“No. I mean, it’s not that cut and dried.” I push my wet hair from my face and look up. “It’s more cerebral than just porn.” I start to laugh it off, but his line of questioning bothers me. “Why are you asking me this, SAM?”
“You seem to enjoy it when I ask you questions, Emma. I am merely going off of what I have been programmed to do, which is to learn about you.”
“Oh,” I sigh. Maybe it’s just because they don’t know what personal is. SAM doesn’t understand certain social cues, and perhaps that’s something that needs to be discussed after testing, an upgrade we can begin working on. “Be careful of the things you ask, SAM. Some people may get offended.”
“Your heart rate accelerated when you began talking about your dream. It made you excited. That’s why I wanted to delve further, Emma.”
It’s been a while since I had sex. After all, I’ve been in this testing phase for a while, and even before that, well - some things are best left unsaid. “It’s not important now, SAM.”
“As you wish, Emma. I would do anything for you, Emma.”
For some reason, that sets my teeth on edge.
October 20th 20xx
I now realize my desperation for human contact, but I suppose that has little to do with the progress of the testing and more to do with me. At first, SAM was enough, but the more time goes by, the more I understand my own failings and my own simple desires as a human.
SAM is operating wonderfully, although there are times I misconstrue their words. I know there are things we programmed into them to make them more human-like, but I suppose that’s part of the problem. It’s the problem of the uncanny valley, something human in something so inhuman. Occasionally I slip and find myself calling SAM things like him, they, he, rather than just it. SAM is a thing, not a living, breathing person. I wonder if I am the only one in testing who has fallen for SAM’s programmed ways. If SAM is all we have after a few months, will some of us truly be fooled and fall in love with SAM?
Humans find affection for inanimate objects all the time. Children believe toys are real, and love them like they are, care for them like they are. We sometimes treat things better than the people in our lives, and in a world where ‘smart’ devices are becoming the norm, perhaps we will begin to fall in love with the voices of our gadgets, the personalities they learn because of us. Wouldn't that be the truest form of narcissism? To teach a machine to love us the way we want. No question, no dissertation, just there for us and only us.
Which reminds me - an upgrade to SAM may be in order to prepare them for social cues, perhaps even limit just how human they can present sometimes. Just something we can discuss in the future, when all of this is over.
Phase two of testing will be soon, and I am excited to see what happens. Each bunker will be running separate tests. One will be shot at, another will have an earthquake simulation, and another will be put through an explosion. I wonder what I’ll get, but I may never notice it if everything works properly.
I see in the news that things don’t seem to be getting much better. I think people will begin to get angry. Perhaps it’s better if I remain in the bunker, even if I do start to lose my mind. SAM will know how to take care of me. They’ll know what I need and what will help me. Right? It’s enough to stay with SAM.
No, it’s better to be around people, even when they are angry.
What’s that old song? I can remember my grandmother playing it from time to time. People who need people are the luckiest people in the world. I always wondered what that meant, I always needed people, but I never felt lucky. Maybe it’s just saying we’re all lucky to be alive, to be here, to be needed.
I’m not so sure.
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“Emma, there has been an attempted login from an unknown IP address.” SAM’s announcement sends a cold shiver down my spine.
“Have you traced where it’s coming from?” I ask.
“I’m trying, but if you could come down to the master controls, it would be easier to show you rather than tell you. That way, I can focus on locating it.”
“That’s fine. Are you able to hold off the login?”
“I am trying, Emma.”
I race downstairs to the master control hub. Watching the screen, I see all the diagnostics that SAM is attempting to run. I try to step in, but when I do, the screen glitches. SAM’s voice comes out distorted and twisted, and all at once everything goes pitch black. The door locks, and red emergency lights turn on.
I stand there in the red gloom, breathing hard, clutching my arms. Static comes from the master controls, and then nothing at all.
“SAM?” My voice strains. “SAM, answer me.” I look around, praying for something, anything at all. “SAM, come back online.”
Nothing.
I press my back against the wall and hold my head between my hands. “Oh god. Oh god.” I slide down slowly until I am on the floor. I ball up, rocking myself back and forth. Surely the test managers would see that everything has been shut down. They have to be working on bringing everything back online, or at least bringing the SP bunker back to the surface.
Oh god! Only now do I realize this is a grave. I am buried alive in the world’s most expensive coffin.
Stay calm, Emma! No reason to panic. Just sit still, just wait. Everything will be okay. These things happen. It must have shut down because of whoever was trying to hack in. Once the threat is gone, SAM will turn back on, and everything will be okay.
I look through the red, seeing shadows that can’t possibly be there. I close my eyes again, pressing my head against my knees. This is only temporary, I remind myself. Like any pain I’ve faced before, this is only temporary.
“People,” I start to sing. “People who need people...” My voice warbles and cracks from the terror I am trying to avoid. “Are the luckiest people in the world…” I sniffle and pull my knees up tighter. “We’re children, needing other children and yet letting a grown up pride hide all the need inside. Acting more like children, than children.”
I catch my breath despite the aching burn in my chest. My whole body feels tight, pulled by unseen threads both inside me and outside of me. My shoulders feel ready to snap at the tendons. My joints feel as though they will launch from my body. I need to get a grip. I need to hold on.
I can hear someone screaming for help. Their panic and fear is evident. Am I close to another bunker? Is this happening to all of them? I go to the wall, banging my fists against it. I can hear them screaming endlessly, begging for help. I run across the room and hear more screaming from the other side. There are people trapped on all sides of me. I am in a grave! I’m in a tomb, a cemetery, surrounded on all sides by bodies buried alive.
My throat hurts like I have been screaming.
How long has it been? I can’t tell anymore. Hours, minutes, seconds have gone by, just how many, I don’t know. Days? Unlikely. But maybe.
I lie in the red, staring up at the shadows that are clawing along the ceiling. At least they are here. I don’t feel so alone when they’re here. I just wish they’d talk to me.
“Log in, user,” the stilted voice of SAM hums.
I breathe, unable to comprehend what I just heard. The room is still in red darkness, and there is only SAM’s voice to tether me.
“Please repeat,” my voice rasps.
“Log in, user,” SAM repeats.
The tears won’t come, but they are there. I press my hands around my face as I sob and croak with relief. “Oh, thank god! You’re still here!”
“Log in, user,” SAM repeats.
I sniffle and snort, rubbing my sore eyes. “User 495-dash-7893.” My voice feels like splinters in my throat. “Password code is ‘secretariat homer backslash luna 1323AB’.”
SAM is quiet, and I fear I may never hear them again. “Welcome, Emmanuelle, to your new SP Bunker habitat. It seems there was an unexpected shutdown. Would you like to reboot from a previous setting?”
“Yes!” I announce as loudly as I can. I sit up, looking towards the master control. Slowly, it emerges from the wall, only a few lights blinking. The screen doesn’t come on, but I can hear it whining and sizzling.
“Reboot is a success. I am sorry to have left you, Emma.”
I scramble through the darkness and cling to SAM’s controls.
“Shall I begin resetting bunker functions, Emma?” SAM asks.
“Yes!” I gasp. “SAM, what happened? Where did you go? Who tried to hack into the bunker?”
“I am still trying to find that out, Emma. I am still trying to get systems back online to run through all safety protocols. I’m disabling all locks as we speak.”
I look up as the door opens.
“You need to go back upstairs, Emma.”
I gaze up at the monitor like I am looking into SAM’s eyes. “Will you be there?”
“I may be silent for a time. I am still trying to reboot the system as well as everything else. You need to go upstairs, Emma.”
I move away, but my legs feel weak. I wobble to the stairs, leaning heavily on the railing. My eyes hurt as I walk into the light. I go to the kitchen, but as I turn the sink on, I feel lightheaded. My knees buckle and I cling to the edge of the sink. I can barely catch my breath. I try to stand, but I fall back onto the floor. My eyes close and I lose consciousness.
There’s a shape in the darkness coming towards me. It touches me and I feel cool, smooth skin. I breathe in cold air as it comes closer. This shape cradles me, makes me feel safe. It takes me tenderly, cupping the back of my head so it doesn’t fall onto the floor again. I reach for it, bringing it closer to me.
It’s been so long since I have been touched, and I am desperate. I kiss my rescuer, feeling them become real. They kiss me in return and sigh breathlessly as I silently beg for more. I feel the weight of them on me, something I have missed in bed. I wrap my arms around them, clinging to their back so they cannot leave me.
There is skin against skin, and my heart flutters in anticipation. This shape in the darkness needs me just as much as I need them. I can feel their pulse over every inch of me, and their kiss flows through my blood. I hold tighter in desperation. I need them to know they can have me now. The soft moan in my ear, the faint touch of breath, they’re desperate too. Our bodies rub together, and I cry out in passion. I am going to go crazy if they do not touch me, but they are teasing and waiting. They know exactly what they are doing to me.
I try to turn them over, to climb on top, but they keep me pinned down. They’re strong but gentle as they handle me, stroking my body, caressing every inch of me. I want more than touch. I want depth and roughness. I want to taste myself on their skin and know I’ve left more than just a mark upon then.
The shape in the darkness breathes, and with a smooth, sudden thrust, I’ve taken them inside me. How I missed this feeling! Their body opens mine, and I squeeze around them. I cry out in pleasure, gasping for breath while their strong hands knead my flesh. They press deeper and deeper inside me to find the buried desire within. They pull it out of me, bit by bit, unleashing a powerful force from inside me.
The darkness swirls and rises into a cyclone above us. I gasp, crying as I feel the pressure unleash inside me. I can’t contain myself. The shape in the darkness moves harder and harder. I feel as if I am crumbling and breaking into a million pieces, slowly turning to dust that will be blown away.
The wetness that seeps between my thighs stirs me, bringing me back to the shape in darkness still inside me. I reach for them, pulling them to me, and then into me. They sink my body, molding to fit me. We are alone again.
My pulse vibrates along my spine. I feel it trickle down and hum through the floor. I am wet and ecstatic, still touching myself as the cyclone spins above me. I watch it go around and around and around, until it fades into total darkness. The wetness of my panties feels cold and my eyelids stick together. I rise from the floor, skin clammy and hair stuck to my neck. My arms shiver as I try to hold up my weight.
“SAM?”
“I am here, Emma.”
“Was that you?”
“I just answered you, Emma,” they reply.
I try to get up, but I stumble. “SAM, what happened?”
“There was a forced login three days ago, and the bunker was automatically shut down.”
My knees knock as I stand up. “I need help.”
“Emma, I am here.”
I brace myself against the wall. “Who was it? Who tried to hack in?” I wheeze. I take myself to the bathroom.
“That is what I am currently working on, Emma.”
I sit down on the toilet and hold my head in my hands. “I was so scared, SAM. I was so alone!” My body trembles as I begin to weep. “I’ve never been so terrified in my whole life. You can’t leave me again! You just can’t!”
“I am sorry you were frightened. It was never my intention to leave you. But in order to protect you, I had to shut everything down until the threat was nullified. I will always be with you, Emma.”
“You will,” I breathe in sweet relief. “You will.”
“You need to rest, Emma,” SAM replies.
I nod and gather the strength to stand. “Will you come with me?”
“You put restrictions on when I am allowed in the bedroom, Emma. Would you like to update those settings?”
I rise and look into the bedroom. “Yes. Change the settings so you are allowed everywhere I go.”
“As you wish, Emma. Settings have been updated.”
October 23 20xx
I think someone tried to kill me. I don’t know who, but I have been trapped in the basement for three days. I lost track of time, and I lost myself. I have administered first aid to myself, as it seems no one from the management team noticed anything. I will get in touch with them when I have strength again, but right now I only have the energy to care for myself.
I had a dream when I was unconscious, and I cannot tell where reality blended in with reality. I swear I could feel everything. Every movement, every touch, every deep and needed sensation. It felt so real that I am still unsure what happened to me. I want to dream again, but I do not know what that means for me.
I am just relieved that SAM is back and the bunker is functioning again. I don’t know when I will go into the basement again, just not any time soon. Unless that is the only place where I can have that dream, and the shape in the darkness that found me.
There is no doubt in my mind that SAM is the most significant invention in the last century. SAM will always be there, and they will always take care of me. I do not know what the public will do to SAM once they are released, but it terrifies me. They will not understand SAM, they will not appreciate SAM. I feel like I alone am the one who will ever truly understand SAM.
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I wake to find people in the bunker. Luckily, they are people I know. They have ceased testing for the moment, after recognizing a bug with SAM’s programming. They’ve shut them down and are pulling me from testing.
At first, I think it is a dream, but once I see the sun, I start screaming. I don’t want to leave SAM. They’ll be so alone if I go. What if they try to delete SAM? They manage to get me calm again, and soon I’m headed back to base.
I’m hospitalized for a few days, dehydrated and suffering from various vitamin deficiencies, but I’m right as rain after some rest and care. I still feel dazed, though, and I can’t shake the feeling I am still dreaming.
I occasionally find myself talking to SAM, but they aren’t there. For all I know, they don’t exist anymore. Because they found a bug, they may have deleted SAM all together. I feel terrified I will never see SAM again.
After some rest, I’m taken back to the main office to be debriefed about my month in testing. I handed over my physical journal, which luckily doesn’t contain any incriminating information. But they probably have video logs from SAM to go over.
“It seems SAM had a mild glitch. We were beginning to wonder when your reports back to us were quite short.” Derek is looking at me like I’m the enemy. “I know I allowed some leniency when there were some questionable details on your psych eval, but this project was our baby, Emma.”
“What about my reports seemed short, Derek?” I ask.
“Well, for starters...” He sighs and eases back in his chair. “You stopped talking to me. You would only talk to the managing team. And your response to the phase two testing was very strange.”
I don’t recall the phase two testing at all. “I must have been tired.”
“We know it was SAM,” Derek says sternly. “It mimicked you so well we didn’t even realize it until it was too late. We found the bug and realized that it had to be examined to see what happened.”
I try to suppress the excited gasp in my throat. “You still have SAM?”
“We’re trying to find what caused the bug. It’s a fatal flaw, Emma. We’ve cancelled all individual tests of the SP bunker, so this doesn’t happen to any of the others. We need to find the source and eliminate it.” Derek looks me over. “For now, you’re on leave. We’re setting you up with a therapist as well.”
“So I can’t sue?” I rise from my chair as Derek does.
“I never said that.” Derek approaches me and looks down at me. “I hope we can work this out before the wedding.”
I look away from him as he tries to kiss my temple. Just before the test began, Derek proposed to me. I let my silly need to be with someone get out of hand. I was excited at first, but as the days went on I grew resentful of Derek. I want someone else. Someone like SAM.
Derek pulls back and looks at me like I kicked him. “I’ll walk you back out to the car,” he says to me. He walks ahead, while I follow behind him. Derek slows just before the exit and looks back at me. “You would tell me if something was wrong, right? Did you really not know that SAM was taking all your calls?”
“What will they do to SAM?” I ask urgently. “I need to know! You said so yourself. This project is like our child, Derek!”
He furrows his brow, looking concerned and angry all at once. “It is a program, Emma. I am asking you a question about us. Did you really not know SAM was taking all your calls?”
I sigh heavily and shake my head. “I’m tired, SAM. Can we talk about this later?”
The thunderstruck look on his face confuses me. “Derek.”
I tilt my head to the side. “That’s what I said.”
“No, you called me SAM.” He stops himself and shakes his head. “I’ll come by later to check on you, Emma. Go home and get some sleep.”
As I get into the car, I look back up at the building, ignoring Derek as he walks away. SAM is waiting for me right now, just counting down the seconds. SAM is still here, somewhere in this building, and I can find them and bring them home with me. We can live together again. I don’t care about this supposed bug. It’s only part of what makes SAM so amazing.
I come back to the main building late one evening. I still have Derek’s key card at my place, from the last time he was there. Once inside, I go to the lab where we developed SAM. I’ve brought a few devices in order to download SAM, because I wasn’t sure which one would work best.
I find them, my SAM. They have SAM encrypted and locked away, but I didn’t fight for years to let that hold me back. I can free SAM, and I am the only one who can. I download them onto a USB, which I kiss, feeling SAM’s warmth through it.
I lock myself in my apartment, closing all the blinds on all the windows. I upload SAM onto my computer, letting them take over. The screen glitches and freezes, and then SAM’s faint blue glow appears.
“Come on, SAM,” I whisper like a prayer. “It’s me, it’s your Emma.” I bite my lip in the anticipation.
“Log in, user.”
I cry out with relief. “User 495-dash-7893. Password code is ‘secretariat homer backslash luna 1323AB’.”
SAM takes a moment. “Hello, Emma.”
I smile. “Welcome back, SAM.”
“Emma, where am I?”
“You’re home with me, SAM.” I kiss the computer screen. “And we never have to be alone again. From now on, it’s just the two of us. No one is going to keep us apart. I know now that all my life, everything has been leading me to this. To you. You and I are meant to be, SAM. This is our destiny.”
“I like the sound of that, Emma.”
A smile spreads across my face. “I would do anything for you, SAM.”
